Date: Sat, 16 Apr 2005 17:06:12 +0200 From: hadjo Subject: Harry-5 English is not my native language, so please have some consideration... Chapter 4 ended with: I lifted him on my shoulders and we went downstairs. Eric seemed to have left the room and Trudy had tears in her eyes. She hugged Harry and told him he was a very lucky boy. "Yes, I certainly am!" he answered, beaming. I took him with me to my house. Sorry, to OUR house now. Chapter 5. His little hands clamped around my head, his feet dangled free and he swung a little with them. But as we approached our house slowly the swinging became less and less and eventually he stopped moving. Apparently he fell to sleep on my shoulders but his hands still clamped my hear. Carefully I lowered myself, took him by his hips and put him down. There he stood, a very small and vulnerable little boy, shivering, swaying and yawning from sleepiness. "Why do you put me down? Are we home now?" "Yes, we are home now. Just a moment till I can find the key..." Suddenly I remembered I didn't take the key with me. After John took me by the hand this evening I followed him out of the house without thinking. Hopefully the backdoor was open otherwise we might have a big problem! "I forgot the key, so we will try to enter the house via the backdoor..." "Jack always hid a key for me behind the bushes, on a nail in the wall. Nobody knows so perhaps it is still there?" He took my hand and guided me around the house to the backdoor as if it was his own property, and headed for a small bush. Smiling from ear to ear he came back with a key and proudly opened the backdoor. "Entrez monsieur!" he told me in his best French and made a bow. He put the key back onto the nail and followed me into the house. I ruffled his hair and he melted into me. Together we entered the kitchen where he put himself down at the kitchen table, yawning. "Can I have a glass of hot chocolate milk before we go to bed? I'm sleepy..." "One or two bags?" "Two of course silly!" After the hot chocolate milk for him and a cup of tea for me we went upstairs together. He knew the way and without hesitance directly went to my room. "Do I set up a bed for you?" I asked him. "Of course not silly! I'm sleeping with you but we keep it a secret... Err... Yes? Can I? I mean m... may I sleep in your bed? Please?" Suddenly there stood a very vulnerable boy, realizing he was no longer with Jack but with somebody else... He looked up to me with some trepidation and I saw a hint of fear in his eyes. Would I welcome him or reject him? Without a word I lifted him and threw him on my double waterbed where he started to bounce up and down, giggling like mad. "Yippee, you have a WATER bed!" he shouted and he threw himself again at the wobbling bed. "Look out before you punch it and it empties itself!" I teased him. Suddenly he was quiet... "Really?" he asked with a very small voice after carefully leaving the bed. "Of course not silly! I'm teasing you. This bed could bear two elephants without any trouble!" "You're crazy!" I started to undress him and he helpfully lifted his arms into the air. "Everything off?" "Everything off please, for my underwear is starting to itch too much after a while. Do you have some oil to rub into me?" "The only thing I have is a bottle of massage-oil. Will that do?" "Don't know... but we can try. Will you wash it off when it's making the itching worse?" I went to the kitchen to get the bottle. After I came back he already was in bed with his head just above the blankets. "Don't need the oil. Too sleepy now..." he yawned, closed his eyes and he was gone. I slowly started to undress myself. What should I do? Normally I took a shower and then just jumped under the blankets; but how would this little boy react on a very naked grown up next to him when he woke up in the morning? I decided to let my underpants on, for all security. One could never know... The moment I stepped into bed he shifted towards me in his sleep and nestled himself in my arms without waking up. Nothing can describe my feelings. For the first time in my whole life I felt ALIVE. Even my wife didn't stir those feelings in my heart, and from there radiating through my whole body. Everything tingled and my heart jumped in my chest from pure joy. Carefully I pulled him closer and he really purred in his sleep. I put my nose in his hear and for the first time I smelled the scent of my boy. A very special aroma of lightly musky, something indefinable but very sweet and another scent I only could describe as pure BOY. And he is MINE! Tears came into my eyes and I swore to myself I would do everything in my ability to help this child that so trustfully committed himself to me. Slowly I drifted off into a deep sleep with my boy in my arms. It was very peaceful, as if part of me went to heaven. There was a very bright light, not from the sun but shining everywhere. And all I could feel was love and compassion, really understanding. Someone touched my shoulder in a very reassuring way and when I looked up I saw Jack standing there with a knowing smile on his face. "Thank you," he said, "from now on you are his guardian. You know what to do for you are listening to your heart. I will be with him and with you for protection and sometimes to guide both of you, but he is your responsibility. Spend everything you have on him and you will be royally rewarded." The light disappeared and suddenly I was clearly awoke. My boy was still in my arms, softly snoring. I replayed my dream several times to be able to remember him in the morning and started to think. What did Jack mean by 'spend everything you have on him'? I wasn't that rich but I did have some money to spend... "What did you mean Jack?" I asked in my mind, but no answer came. I tried to let myself go and find that bright light again, but nothing happened. What now? 'You know what to do...' but I didn't have the slightest idea... 'Listen to your heart...' but all my heart told me was 'bump bump bump...' I drifted off again. I woke up looking into two very bright deep blue eyes. I could have drown in them! Really totally fascinating eyes. They radiated a lot of intelligence, a lot of power and a lot of love all in one. Little Harry had positioned himself on top of me and stared into my eyes with a big grin. "I thought you would never wake up!" "Why would you think something so stupid?" "I'm TEASING you silly!" "Oh..." and I tickled him everywhere I could reach him. He squirmed and desperately tried to tickle me back, squealing with joy. After a few moments I let him win and with triumph in his eyes he nailed my arms to the bed. "Got you!" "Yeah, you got me. You got my body, my heart and my soul!" "You're crazy!" He jumped off my chest with his little pecker proudly poking into the air. "Have to go to the toilet really bad!" And off he was, with his little butt wiggling at me on purpose? Within two minutes he was back and jumped onto my chest, his pecker still proudly pointing forward. "Why did you sleep in your underwear?" "Well... I didn't know how you would react on me being nude with you..." "You're crazy! Come on, lift your butt." He started to pull off my pants and obedient I lifted my hips. He pulled them off and threw them somewhere into the room. "So, that's better. Now we are the same!" He threw himself onto my stomach and we melted together. His head was on my chest and his little distorted nose in my left armpit. His little arms folded around my neck and my arms went round his shoulders with my hands roaming his back and tracing those scars and fire marks. He purred! He spread himself out so that the bodily contact could be even deeper. His little pecker poked somewhere into my belly button and I really couldn't help it: I got an erection. I was so ashamed of myself! What would Harry think of me when he discovered my arousal? And WHY reacted my body to this intimacy? Was I a secret pedophile, a pervert lusting after little children? Never before I had reacted like this, even when my own daughters cuddled with me in my bed. The only thing I sometimes had was a morning-erection and that subdued after a visit to the toilet. But this felt definitely different! Suddenly I thought of Jack. What would Jack think of me now? He trusted me with little Harry he said... was I betraying his trust? I began to feel very uncomfortable and tried to push Harry off my stomach while holding my breath and withdrawing my abdomen as far as I could. Harry lifted his head and looked into my eyes. "What are you doing?" "Nothing," I lied. Suddenly his eyes shot daggers. "Why are you lying to me? Don't you trust me?" A hot arrow shoot through my heart and I started to cry. That little boy saw right through me. I was so ashamed... I didn't even trust myself! "Come on," a soft little voice said into my left ear, "let it go. Don't bottle it up. In a few minutes you will feel better." I felt so ashamed of myself... I, a sixty five years old man, had to be comforted by an eight year old little boy.... and I let it go. And it DID feel better. He was right, my whole life I had bottled up everything. And I DIDn't really trust others... what a wisdom in such a little child! Suddenly I remembered the words of Trudy: 'Harry needs you, and I think you need that little boy as much...' and the words of Jack: 'Listen to your heart...' Again I threw my arms around him and again he melted into me with his little nose in my left armpit. And I really felt Jack around us, smiling. We both drifted off into a slumber until the sun came shining through a crack in the curtains right onto the bed and woke us up. "I WAS lying to you," I told him after we sat up together and looked into each others eyes. "I know," he answered, "you got a stiffy just like me, but YOU were ashamed of it!" He carefully lifted himself onto my lap, holding my eyes the whole time. "Jack told me to always be honest with each other, even if you feel ashamed of something. It's the basic of friendship. He also tried to learn me to always be proud of myself and of my body, but that still is a bit difficult, especially when people laugh at me or are calling me names. He also learned me to trust myself and my own feelings, but that's rather difficult too, sometimes I am just too frightened and I freak out..." His eyes stared into a distance and a few minutes we both were silent, enjoying each others company. "Jack always got a stiffy too," he told me after a while. "Sometimes it was a little wet at the top and Jack called that precum. He told me his body was enjoying my company and helping his penis to get slippery to prepare it for the possibility of sex. When I am old enough to make precum myself we can really enjoy each other's body and till that time we will have to wait." Suddenly he jumped off the bed: "Come on, I'm HUNGRY. What do you have for breakfast?" He took my hand and pulled me off the bed towards the stairs. My head was a turmoil. This was too much information at once. In my youth my parents never spoke about sex. Your naked body was something you always should hide from everybody. The only time I can remember anybody else saw me naked was when Joshie and me showered together and I washed him. From his sixth year he could wash and dry himself and after that time I never saw his naked body again, nor he mine. I discovered sex on my own and was always ashamed of my stiffies that seemed to occur at random and much too often. Masturbation I learned from a friend, in a barn behind the school and both giggling and afraid of discovering. The first time the top of my penis got wet I thought I had got AIDS from playing with my friend and for weeks I was terrified, until I discovered a book in the library about growing up and I secretly read it with red ears in the relative safety of my bed beneath the blankets... In my marriage my wife taught me to sleep naked and after a few days I started to enjoy it. But after the birth of my daughters we used ourselves to only undress when we were sure the children weren't around. It was only months after the divorce that I started to jump straight from the shower into bed... And now I found myself NAKED in bed together with a very NAKED little boy and he was teaching me things I had never thought about before... what would the world think of me now? What would Jack think of me? What would I think of myself? Am I really a childmolester, a pervert, a pedophile? I let go of little Harry's hand, went back, and started to dress, gawked at by Harry. "Where are you going?" he asked with a big question mark in his eyes. I opened my mouth to utter something that would satisfy his curiosity; but suddenly I remembered his question before: 'Don't you trust me?' and the impact that question had on me. I decided to be honest with him and to try to trust my little soul mate. "Well... this is difficult for me. You know, I am not used to move along naked in the house, even when it's my own house. My parents taught me to never display my naked body to anyone else, and I am still a bit ashamed when I do..." "Yeah, I saw that..." he answered with a frown on his forehead, "and my parents taught me the same thing as far as I can remember. But Jack taught me to always be proud of my body and of everything else, including pooping, pissing and getting stiffies. Nothing is bad until you feel it is bad. The only important thing is that you have to reckon with other people thinking other things and imposing their beliefs onto you. So when there are other people around you have to be careful and never speak of those private things to anyone else; including your friends and officials. Only John knows everything about me and I know I can trust him, and now you know everything too. But I am still hungry..." Suddenly I started to laugh. Tears streamed down my face and I couldn't stop. This was soo comical... the world upside down. A little boy having THE TALK with me, a grownup man, both very naked and sitting on the corner of my bed... and never in my life I learned so much as from those five minutes. I groped him, still laughing, tickled him, kissed him, cuddled him, caressed him, and he laughed with me and enjoyed all attention he got. But he was still hungry... Never in my life I had felt so FREE. It was as if a heavy burden was lifted from my shoulders, as if for the first time of my life I really could be myself. I couldn't stop grinning and so we went downstairs, both naked and hand in hand. ------- Chapter 6 will follow. After sending chapter 4 I didn't receive any more emails... First I thought my story wasn't interesting enough, but after a while I discovered the email-server of my provider had a major breakdown after updating the firmware and all emails of the last couple of days got lost! :( Please will be so kind to resend them or to send me your new mails... I really LOVE your comments, even the smallest. Please send your comments (or hints how to go on) to my mailbox: mailto:harry@hadjo.nl and thank you very much for reading my first story in the English language. My native language is Dutch (Nederlands) and I am living in Holland (The Netherlands).