Date: Mon, 1 Aug 2005 21:39:29 +0200 From: Harry Anders Subject: 'Little Harry' 4. Be like a child, for the Kingdom belongs to these. 'Little Harry' Chapter 4. Be like a child, for the Kingdom belongs to these. Little Harry clamped his hands around my head and slowly swung his dangling feet. As we neared our house the swinging became less and less and eventually stopped. Apparently he had fallen asleep on my shoulders, but his hands still clamped my hair. Carefully I lowered myself, took him by his hips and put him down on the porch. There he opened his eyes, a small and vulnerable little boy, shivering, swaying and yawning from sleepiness. "Why do you put me down? Are we home now?" "Yes, we are home now. Just a moment till I can find the key..." Suddenly I remembered I didn't take the key with me. After John took me by the hand this evening I followed him out of the house without thinking. Hopefully the backdoor was open otherwise we might have a big problem! "I forgot the key so we will try to enter the house via the backdoor..." "Jack always hid a key for me behind the bushes, on a nail in the wall. Nobody knows about it so perhaps it is still there?" He took my hand, guided me around the house to the backdoor as if it was his own property, and headed for a small bush. Smiling from ear to ear he returned with a key and with a proud face he opened the backdoor. "Entrez monsieur!" he told me in his best French and made a bow. He carefully put the key back onto the nail and followed me. I ruffled his hair and he melted into me. Together we entered the kitchen where he sat down at the kitchen table, again yawning and rubbing his eyes. "Can I have a glass of hot chocolate milk before we go to bed? I'm sleepy..." "One or two bags of chocolate?" "Two of course silly!" After hot chocolate milk for him and a cup of tea for me, we went upstairs. He obviously knew the way and without hesitancy directly went to my bedroom. "Do I set up a bed for you?" I asked him, not knowing what I should do. "Of course not silly! I'm sleeping with you, but we keep it a secret... Err... Yes? Can I? I mean m... may I sleep with you in your bed tonight? Please?" Suddenly he was a very vulnerable young boy, realizing he was no longer with his big friend Jack but with someone else... He hesitantly looked at me and I saw a longing in his eyes and also a hint of fear. Would I welcome him or reject him? Without a word I lifted him from the floor and threw him onto my double waterbed where he started to bounce up and down, giggling like mad. "Yippee, you have a WATER bed!" he shouted and again threw himself at the wobbling bed. "Look out before you punch a leak and it empties itself!" I teased him. Suddenly he went quiet... "Really?" he asked with a very small voice after carefully leaving the bed. "Of course not silly! I'm teasing you. This bed could bear two elephants without any trouble." "You're crazy!" After he had tested the waterbed again by jumping up and down as high as he could I started to undress him and he helpfully lifted his arms into the air. "Everything off?" "Everything off, please; my underwear starts to itch after a while. Do you have some oil to rub into my scars?" "I only have a small bottle of massage-oil. Will that do?" "Don't know, but we can try. Will you wash it off when it's making the itching worse?" I went to the kitchen to get the bottle. When I returned he already was in bed with his small damaged nose just above the blankets. "Don't need the oil. Too sleepy now..." He yawned, closed his eyes and was gone. I started to undress myself, but how should I behave now that I had a small and vulnerable child with me? Normally I took a shower and then just jumped under the blankets, but how would this little boy react to a naked grown up next to him when he woke up in the morning? I decided to keep my underpants on, for safety reasons. One could never know... and society told us that little children suddenly being confronted with the nakedness of a grown up could be damaged for the rest of their lives! The moment I entered the bed he shifted towards me in his sleep and nestled himself in my arms without waking. Nothing can describe the feelings I experienced. For the first time in my life I felt ALIVE. This little boy stirred wonderful feelings in my heart, and then radiated throughout my whole body. I never imagined I could experience feelings like this. Everything tingled and my heart jumped in my chest from pure joy. Carefully I pulled him closer and thought I heard him purr in his sleep. I put my nose in his hair and for the first time I smelled the scent of my boy. A very special aroma of lightly musky, something indefinable but very sweet and another scent I only could describe as pure boy. I got tears in my eyes and I swore to myself that I would do everything in my ability to help this vulnerable child who had so trustfully committed himself to me. Slowly I drifted off into a deep sleep with my softly snoring boy in my arms. It was a peaceful feeling, as if part of me was in heaven. There was a very bright light, not from the sun but seemingly shining everywhere. All I could feel was true love and compassion around me, a very comforting feeling. Somebody touched my shoulder, and when I looked up I saw Jack with a knowing smile on his face. "Thank you," he told me with warmth and respect in his voice. "From now on you are his guardian. You know what to do, for you are listening to your heart. I will be with you for a while to guide you, but he is your responsibility. Spend everything you have on him and you will be royally rewarded." The light disappeared and suddenly I was awake. My boy was still in my arms, softly snoring. I replayed my dream several times to be able to remember him in the morning, and I started to think. What did Jack mean by 'spend everything you have on him'? I wasn't rich but I did have some money to spend... "What do you mean Jack?" I asked him in my mind, but nobody answered my question. I tried to find that bright light again by letting myself go, but nothing happened. What now? 'You know what to do...' but I didn't have the slightest idea... 'Listen to your heart...' but the only thing my heart told me was 'bump bump bump'... After a while I drifted off into a deep and peaceful sleep until the sun shining through a crack in the curtains woke me up. I woke up looking into two very bright and deep blue eyes, totally fascinating eyes that radiated a lot of intelligence, a lot of power and a lot of pure love all in one. I nearly drowned in them! Little Harry had positioned himself on top of me and stared into my eyes with a big grin on his face. "I thought you would never wake up!" "Why would you think such a stupid thing?" "I'm TEASING you, silly!" "Oh... now wait a moment!" I lifted him off my chest and started to tickle him everywhere. He squirmed and desperately tried to tickle me back, squealing with joy. After a while I let him win and with triumph in his eyes he nailed my arms to the bed. "Got you!" "Yeah, you got me. You got my body, my heart and my soul!" "You're crazy!" He jumped off my chest with his little distorted pecker proudly pointing the way. "I have to go to the toilet really bad!" Off he went, with his little butt full of scars wiggling at me. Within two minutes he was back and again he cheerfully jumped onto my chest. He kicked the blankets away and suddenly froze. He stared at my underpants with a look of disbelief in his eyes. "Why did you sleep in your underwear?" "Well... I didn't know how you would react upon a naked man next to you..." "You're crazy! Come on, lift your butt." I obediently lifted my hips, taken away by his pushing. He pulled my pants down and threw them somewhere into the room. "That's better. Now we are the same!" He threw himself onto my stomach and tried to melt into me. His small head rested on my chest with his little distorted nose in my left armpit, and his arms folded around my neck. Spontaneously my arms went around his small body and my hands started to roam his back, tracing the scars and marks of the fire. Now I was sure he purred! He spread himself out even more to deepen the bodily contact. His little pecker proudly poked into my belly button, and I couldn't help it, suddenly I got an erection. I was so ashamed of myself! What would this little boy think of me when he discovered my arousal? And WHY had my body reacted to his intimacy? Was I a secret pedophile, a pervert lusting after little children? Never before did my body react like this, even when my own daughters cuddled with me. The only thing I sometimes got was a morning-erection and that always subdued after a visit to the toilet... Suddenly I thought of Jack. What would Jack think of me now? He said he trusted me. Was I betraying his trust? I started to feel very uncomfortable and shamefully tried to push that innocent child off my stomach, holding my breath and withdrawing my abdomen as far as I could so he shouldn't feel my still growing member. Little Harry immediately lifted his head and looked into my eyes with a question mark on his face. "What are you doing?" "Nothing," I lied, still very ashamed of myself. Suddenly his eyes shot daggers. "Why are you lying to me? Don't you trust me?" A hot arrow cut through my heart. That small boy saw right through me! Did I trust him? I didn't even trust myself... Tears of frustration welled up in my eyes and I started to cry. "Come on..." a soft little voice whispered into my left ear, "let it go. Don't bottle it up. In a few minutes you will feel better..." I felt so ashamed of myself... Now I, a sixty five years old man, had to be comforted by an eight year old little boy... my world turned upside down. After a while I let myself go and I wept. And it DID feel better. He was right, my whole life I had bottled up everything. And I DIDN'T trust others... what wisdom in such a small child! I remembered the words of Trudy: 'That boy needs you and I think you are needing him too...' and the words of Jack: 'Listen to your heart...' I decided to listen to my heart. Again I threw my arms around him, and again he melted into me. Again I felt his little pecker proudly poking into my belly button. Again my member started to grow, but this time I ignored it. And again I felt Jack around, proudly smiling at both of us. I rubbed his back, and again he softly purred while spreading himself out even more, until his stomach suddenly told him he was too hungry. "I WAS lying to you," I told him after we both sat up and looked into each other's eyes. "I know," he answered, looking into my soul and sending him my love, "you got a stiffy just like me, but YOU were ashamed of it!" He lifted himself onto my lap, keeping eye contact. "Jack told me it's very important to be honest to each other, even if you feel ashamed of something. It's the basics of friendship. He also taught me to be proud of myself and of my body, but that's difficult, especially when people laugh at me or are calling me names. He also taught me to trust myself and my own feelings, but that's difficult too, sometimes I am just too frightened and I freak out... When I cuddled with Jack he always got a stiffy too. Sometimes it was a little wet at the top and Jack called that pre-cum. He told me his body was enjoying my company and helping his penis to get slippery to prepare it for the possibility of sex. When I am old enough to make pre-cum myself perhaps we can start to enjoy each other's bodies, or by that time I will have a girl to enjoy; and until that time we will have to wait." Suddenly he jumped off the bed: "Come on, I'm HUNGRY. What do you have for breakfast?" He grabbed my hand and pulled me off the bed towards the door. My head was in turmoil. This was too much information at once. In my youth my parents never spoke about sex. Your naked body was something you always should hide from everybody else. The only time I can remember anybody else saw me naked was when Joshie and me showered together and I washed him. From his sixth year on he could wash and dry himself, and after that time I never saw his naked body again, nor he mine. I discovered sex on my own, and I was always ashamed of my stiffies that seemed to occur at random and much too often. Masturbation I learned from a friend, in a barn behind the school, both giggling and afraid of discovery. The first time the top of my penis got wet I thought I had a sexual disease from playing with my friend. For weeks I was terrified, until I discovered a book in a corner of the library about growing up and secretly read it with red ears in the relative safety of my bed beneath the blankets. In my marriage my wife taught me to sleep without clothes, and after a while I started to enjoy the freedom of it. But after the birth of my first daughter, we used to only undress ourselves when we were sure the children weren't around. They never saw our naked bodies. After we divorced and I lived on my own, I started to jump straight from the shower into bed, but deep inside I still was a bit ashamed of being nude... And now I found myself NAKED in bed together with a NAKED little boy and he was teaching me things I never thought about before... What would the world think of me now? What would Jack think of me now? What would I think of myself now? Was I really a child molester, a pervert, a pedophile? Was that little boy now damaged for the rest of his life, as society taught us in all its wisdom? Resolutely I went back to the bedroom and gathered my clothes to get dressed, gawked at by Harry. "What are you doing?" he asked me with a big question mark in his eyes. I opened my mouth to utter something that would satisfy his curiosity; but suddenly I remembered his question: 'Don't you trust me?' and the impact that question had on me. I decided to try to be honest with him and to trust my little soul mate. "Well... this is very difficult for me. You know, I am not used to moving along naked in the house, even when it's my own house. My parents taught me to never display my naked body to anyone else, and I am still a bit ashamed when I do..." "Yeah, I saw that," he answered with a frown on his forehead. "Jack taught me I should always be proud of my body and of everything else, including pooping, pissing and getting stiffies. Nothing is bad until you FEEL it is bad. The only important thing is that you have to reckon with other people thinking different things and imposing their beliefs onto you. When there are other people around you have to be careful. You never speak of private things to anyone else; including your best friends. Only John knows everything about me and I know I can trust him, and now you know everything too. But I am hungry, let's go downstairs!" Suddenly I started to laugh. Tears streamed down my face and I couldn't stop. This was too comical... the world turned upside down. A small boy having THE TALK with me, a grownup, both naked and sitting on the corner of my bed... and never in my life had I learned so much about sex as in those five minutes. I cuddled him, still laughing, tickled him, kissed him, again cuddled him, caressed him, and he laughed with me and clearly enjoyed all attention he got. He squirmed and tried to tickle me back. Never before had I felt so FREE. A heavy burden was lifted from my shoulders, as if for the first time in my life I really could be myself. I couldn't stop laughing while we went downstairs, both naked, hand in hand, pushing each other like little children. We went to the kitchen that fortunately had some coco matting on the floor. "What do you have for breakfast?" "Well, until yesterday it was only me in the house, so I didn't buy much special. I think there's some cereal left, and there's milk in the fridge..." "Do you have eggs and tomatoes?" "Yes, I do have a couple of eggs, and no, there are no tomatoes." "Do you have some vegetables?" "Why don't you have a look for yourself?" He looked into the fridge and returned with the eggs, a small leek, two onions and a paprika. "Do you have some curry or other spices?" "I'm not sure. Perhaps in one of the lockers above the sideboard?" He took a chair, climbed onto the sideboard and opened the lockers one by one. He returned with curry, black pepper, salt and a bottle of Maggi. "Do you have some slippers?" "I hope we're not going to eat slippers???" "No silly, of course not. I'm not that hungry! But I want to get a few herbs from the backyard..." I offered him my mules and he shambled away, opened the backdoor and went into the yard. Suspiciously I followed him to the open door, now very aware of my nakedness. Little Harry went to a corner of the yard, clearly marked out by a couple of white cobblestones, and returned with a few small green leafs and some reddish pod I didn't recognize. "That's my garden, with all sorts of useful herbs!" he proudly announced. "I laid it out a year ago with the help of Jack and my herbal learning book. Do you have a kitchen knife and a plate to slice the herbs?" With growing amazement I followed his ministrations. He sorted the herbs and carefully washed them. After that he sliced them into small pieces and put them together into a cup. He mixed them with the onions, part of the leek and half of the paprika, also sliced into pieces. He added some salt, pepper, curry, a few drops of Maggi and milk and mingled everything together. "Can you put a skillet on the stove, put some butter in it and heat it?" he asked without looking up. I did as I was told. He broke the eggs one by one and put them together in the cup, mingling them with was already in it. He brought the cup with him and poured the contents into the skillet, carefully stirring them with a spatula. "Will you butter some slices of bread? I am nearly ready." The food was DELICIOUS. Never in my life did I taste something like that! I told him he was a wonderful cook and he beamed with joy. "Jack taught me how to cook and I love it. I'm always experimenting with new herbs and other add-ons. Sometimes it tastes awfully yucky and then we throw it away and start again. But other times it works out wonderful, like now..." Suddenly he tilted his head as if he could feel or hear something. Ten seconds later the bell rang. "There's John," Harry announced and he rushed to the door. He left me at a loss. How did he know it was John? And what did I do now, still naked? Should I run upstairs or try to hide myself? I heard a lot of giggling and two excited boys tumbled into the kitchen, pushing each other and obviously very glad to see each other. "Smells wonderful here! Did you cook? Something left for me?" John asked little Harry, sniffing the air. "Hi mister!" he acknowledged my presence, barely looking at my nakedness as if this was quite normal to him. "He's a brilliant cook isn't he? Come on, let's shower and dress! Are you coming with us mister?" He threw his arms around little Harry. Little Harry melted into him, two pairs of eyes expectantly looking up to me. "Well, I don't know, I shouldn't..." I started to protest, but little Harry interrupted me. "Come on, don't spoil the fun!" He stepped forward and very determined took my hand. "He's still a bit shy..." he explained to John. "His parents told him the same bullshit your parents taught you. He still has to learn that we all look the same except for some hairs and that we all get the same stiffies from time to time. Come help me!" John took my other hand and together they dragged me to the stairs. "Can you walk on your own now, or do we have to carry you upstairs?" Harry asked me, grinning, with fun lights in his eyes. Like a lamb heading for the slaughter I dragged myself upstairs, closely followed by John and little Harry, both grinning from ear to ear. I was very aware of those boys looking up at my bum, and my face colored a bright red with shame. But I didn't try to cover myself and kept on walking as if this was my daily habit. Why was this so difficult for me? Why did I feel so uneasy when somebody else could see certain parts of my body? Obviously those boys didn't have any problems with it, so why did I? Was this all due to my upbringing and to what society told us in all its wisdom? Or was I really a child molester and at this very moment damaging these two innocent victims for the rest of their lives? I continued to drag myself upstairs until we reached the shower. The shower was FUN. Fortunately the former owner of the house had rebuilt a small room into a bathroom with a generous shower cabin and place for a washing machine, a dryer and a commode. Within two seconds John had thrown his clothes somewhere into a corner, little Harry adjusted the taps until the water had a nice temperature and suddenly all three of us were wrestling to get the best place under the warm water stream, giggling and pushing each other. I felt a small boy myself and both boys totally accepted me. John was the first one to get a stiffy and little Harry exclaimed with a broad smile on his face: "Boner alert!" He pointed at his friends stiffy, grinning. John proudly wiggled with it, and to my consternation my own body started to react too. I furtively tried to turn around to hide my growing member, but John detected my endeavor and grinned while pointing at my erection. "Boner two! Little Harry lost this time." Little Harry proudly smiled at us and promptly got his own stiffy... For the first time since I was a small boy I felt like a child again and it was a wonderful experience. Now I could understand what therapists mean when they tell their clients to 'comfort their inner child' and what the bible meant with the sentence 'be like a child'... We washed each other everywhere without any shame or restriction, shampooed each others hair, tickled each other, cuddled with six arms around each other and boners came and went... and it all felt so totally NORMAL and in harmony... Was I really a pervert, a child molester, a pedophile? Were those boys now damaged for the rest of their lives? Could it be society was WRONG in its assumptions? We dried each other carefully and everywhere, even in the butt cracks and between the toes. When we were done we raced to the bedroom where I slumped down onto the waterbed with the two boys jumping onto my stomach, giggling and fighting for the best place. I closed my eyes and savored this special moment while little Harry and John nestled themselves onto me with their arms around each other and with two stiffies proudly poking into my belly. We all seemed to feel totally in peace and slowly drifted off. I felt very peaceful, as if part of me went to heaven. There was a bright light, not from the sun but shining everywhere. All I could feel was love and compassion. Somebody touched my shoulder and when I looked up I saw Jack with a knowing smile on his face. "Do you understand now?" he asked with compassion in his voice. "You all are learning from each other. Yes, that boy, John, is learning too! He is a wonderful friend to both of you, and he carries a lot of love in his heart. There will be a time when you have to comfort him and to take him into your house for a while. Be prepared." "May I ask you a question Jack?" I asked him in my mind with some trepidation. Was I allowed to ask questions? I wasn't sure... "Look!" Jack answered and he faded away. Suddenly I saw a vision of little Harry in the near future. He had a smooth skin on his face, a nearly normal nose, a smiling mouth with lips that only hinted at something artificial and normal ears. His breast only showed some scarcely visible distortions, his hips and legs only showed a few small scars, and he had a nearly normal pecker with a nice foreskin. "That's what you can do for him," Jack told me somewhere in my head and the light faded away, leaving me with a wonderful feeling. Now I understood what his intention was. And I clearly understood something else too; even Jack didn't seem to have a problem with us being naked together. Was society really WRONG about everything they told us concerning grownups and boys loving each other? Slowly I woke up and at the same time both boys stirred and opened their eyes, yawning. "You fell asleep! Sleepyhead!" Harry teased me, tenderly kissing my lips. "You fell asleep too. Sleepyhead number two!" John teased little Harry. "You were sleepyhead number three!" I teased John, tickling both boys between the ribs. John sighed and kissed my cheek with a content smile. "Wish I could always live here with you and with Harry!" "I got sort of a feeling..." little Harry announced with a frown. "In the future we ARE going to live together, all three of us." "I certainly hope you are right!" John exclaimed. "My father is driving me crazy! He is always making objections and nothing ever is good enough. Yesterday my mother threatened him with a divorce, and my father yelled at her. This morning she had tears in her eyes, and my father seemed to be gone..." His voice drifted off, he sniffled and tears welled up in his eyes. Little Harry tenderly put his arms around him and held him for a while. "It's okay," he softly told John's left ear. "Just let it go. Don't bottle it up. In a few minutes you will feel better..." Suddenly John started to cry. I put my arms around both boys and sent them my love. Boys will always be boys, and after a few minutes they suddenly started to giggle in a mock-fight. Little Harry poked John in the ribs. "Come on crybaby, we have to move my stuff back to my room today!" They jumped out of the bed and quickly dressed, swiftly followed by me. We went downstairs and the boys immediately headed for the fridge. "Do you have something to drink and perhaps something to eat?" "Didn't you eat enough this morning? That was barely an hour ago!" I objected with amazement. "But we are both growing boys you know," John grinned, "so we need a lot of food to become strong and tall like you are." I ruffled his hair, and still grinning he put his arms around my waist. I sighed, feeling rich with my two boys. "We will have to go to the supermarket first, for this morning Harry and me used everything I had in stock..." "OK, let's go..." John headed for the door. Suddenly he turned around and looked at little Harry with concern in his eyes. "Are you coming with us?" Little Harry hesitantly stepped backwards and slumped down onto a chair. The light in his eyes went out and his small head bent downwards to his knees. Nervously he plucked at his clothes. "Dunno. You better go without me..." John took him onto his lap and tenderly threw his arms around his little brother. "Do you remember the last time we went with Jack and you wore that teddy bear mask? Everybody laughed at us and had fun, and you even danced with that little girl. They all applauded and we both got a big tablet of chocolate from the store owner. Remember?" "But that evening your father threw the mask away, and you got detention for begging..." "Yes, but we HAD fun!" Suddenly I got an idea: "How about we first go to the toys shop in town and buy you a cap with a very big flap? In the meantime you can listen to some music from the car radio. When we are back you can pull the flap over your face as far as possible, and then we all go to the supermarket." Harry looked up and his eyes brightened again: "Don't you forget your keys this time? Let's go." Both boys rushed to the door and headed for the car in the driveway, pushing each other to be there first. It was obvious that John had a lot of consideration with his little brother, for unnoticed he let him win by pretending to trip over some small pebble. "I WON!" little Harry shouted and jumped in the air with his hands above his head in triumph. All of the sadness was gone and his blue eyes radiated again. He tried to open the door in vain and I offered him the keys. Proudly he first opened my door. "Entrez monsieur..." he told me in his best French and he made a little bow. After that he opened the other door and let himself and John in. They both took the backseat and I started the car. I searched for something joyful on the radio and soon all three of us sang along with the music. I wondered where John's parents were, so during a radio silence I asked: "Do your parents know where you are John?" "Yes, my mother went into town shopping with Mark and Marrie, and she usually doesn't come back for hours. I don't know where my father is, and Thomas and Chrissy went swimming in the pool this morning, so I was all on my own. That's why I came to your house that early." "You weren't surprised to see us both naked in the kitchen this morning?" "Nah, Harry usually hates clothes, so most of the time he walks naked through the house for the whole day. Jack often didn't bother either. At first I was a bit embarrassed, but after a while I got used to their being naked. Then one day Harry asked me to wash his hair in the shower. From that time we often showered together and most of the time Jack joined us. That always was a lot of fun, like this morning. I really missed the fun the last two months! Fortunately now YOU are here to have fun with. But we keep it a secret between us, and the other children don't know anything about us." Again we sang along with the music: "You are soooo beauuuutifuuuullll..." Harry AnderS, alternative writer. Thank you for reading my stories and thanks to Nifty for hosting them. The rewritten story is available on http://www.harryanders.com Please join our own forum on http://forum.harryanders.com Please send your remarks to harry@harryanders.com Help me to improve this story and visit my homepage...