Date: Sat, 13 May 2006 16:52:53 +0200 From: Harry Anders Subject: Little-Harrys-youth-12 MY FIRST BOOK 'LITTLE HARRY' IS FOR SALE... Please buy it. It costs only $ 19.95, and it's helping other people to cope with their feelings! Copy this link into your webbrowser: http://www.harryanders.com and have a look. Thank you very much! ============================ LITTLE HARRY'S YOUTH The end of chapter 11 said: I don't know why I did it, but that night I wanted to sleep alone: "I want to give you the space to put your penis into Mom's vagina and breed a duffer before we're going home." "Maybe we will do that, thank you for being so considerate." My Dad laughed and started to tickle me, until I shrieked with laughter and begged him to stop. He helped me set up a small bed in the back of our caravan, next to the front door. I undressed, told my parents goodnight, and crawled under the blankets after drinking a glass of water. Two minutes later I felt myself drift away into a deep sleep. ----------------- Chapter 12. Caravan on fire, a hospital, and surgeries. I felt like a grown-up, all the time wearing a tall black gown that even covered my feet. My Mom and Dad wore the same black gown. I was born in a big town in this same country, and of course spoke the language fluently. Every Sunday I went to my church, climbed the pulpit, and told my congregation about Hell and Damnation. I believed strongly in a Supreme Being called 'God' that wanted us to be totally obedient and submissive. Two-thousand years ago He had written a book called 'Bible' that told us how to behave, and since then we had to live after His Word. People that didn't believe in Him were damned, and would burn in Hell for all eternity. People that pleased him would go to Heaven, where they could eat from golden platters, play on their harps, and sing psalms in front of His Countenance for all eternity... I served His organization, called 'Holy Church', assisted by my two helpers who were both clad into the same black gown. Together we tried to convince all the others of our Belief, hoping to earn a more prominent place in Heaven. Our God was very displeased by everybody that was not a Believer; and had chosen us, His Elected People, to convince them of their Sins. We had to use all available means to convince them, even when that meant we had to offer their bodies, believing we could thus save their Souls from burning in Hell. Our God was especially displeased by people that thought they were more important than He was, and could cross His Intentions by healing people other than by Praying. Those people were devoted to Satan, Gods ultimate enemy, looking like a goat and being very fond of black cats. Those men were called 'Heathens', and they were tortured and hung on gallows, while those women were called 'Witches' and burnt to death. All three of us were fanatic zealots, and especially trained in catching and burning Witches. We recognized them by their characteristics such as having a malformed goat nose, piercing eyes, huge pimples in their faces, or caring for black cats. When we had caught a couple of Witches, we raised a huge pile of wood in front of our church. We tied the Witches down onto stakes on top of the pile, and my two helpers lighted the pile of wood using burning torches, while I prayed for the Salvation of the deviated Witches until their Souls left their bodies and thus were saved from burning in all eternity. The Witches started to scream, while the fire started to crackle, and I could clearly smell the smoke. The screaming intensified and turned into screeching, while the hot smoke suddenly entered my lungs and I started to cough... I woke up in a caravan rapidly filling with smoke, while my Mom and Dad screeched and desperately yelled to wake me up: "Harry, wake up and flee! Open the door and GO! NOW!" In shock I looked at the blazing fire in the front of our caravan. What was happening? The heat was nearly unbearable, and little flames started to lick at my blankets. I heard my parents stumble to get out of bed, and then their yelling changed into coughing and finally ceased... Suddenly I realized: our caravan was on fire, and I had to flee, and fast! I tried to throw the blankets from my naked body, but burning and melting parts of them stuck to my skin and started to hurt. I screamed in horror and jumped out of my bed, desperately trying to get rid of those burning pieces. Stumbling and tripping over my own feet in the quickly darkening smoke, I tried to reach the door. Finally I felt it, lifted the handle, and tumbled out of the caravan, straight into the blazing fire that surrounded it. The blazes licked at my body, while I slipped on the burning liquid they had poured around our caravan. I fell, scrambled upright, and fled from the caravan, now burning like a torch. I tried to scream again, but my sore throat refused to produce any sound, and I started to cough and throw up. I heard a man swear loudly, and felt two hands drag me to a grass plot where they rolled me around and around to extinguish the flames. Now the man held me in his arms, telling me to be brave and fight to survive, and that he would help me and be with me all the time. He spoke in the foreign language, but I could clearly understand him. My body still felt on fire, and I could hardly breathe from the searing pain, but I trusted him and started to fight to get more air into my lungs. The pain was unlike anything I had ever felt before, worse than ten thousand needles sticking everywhere into my body from top to toe. All the time the man told me to be brave and not give up. A howling siren approached us, and two paramedics rushed towards me. They tried to take over from the man, but I clamped myself onto my saviour with all my force and didn't let him go. I clearly felt he could keep me alive, and without him I was lost. The paramedics started to argue, but the man told them to go to hell and that they could help me while he was with me. At last they gave up, and the man carried me to the ambulance, where he sat down on a small chair with me still clamped onto his chest. Again the paramedics told him to leave the ambulance now, but again he told them to go to hell and that he would accompany me to the hospital. They gave in, and put two needles into my arms while they smeared my body with a soothing paste. All the time the man kept telling me to be brave, that I would survive, and that he would be there to help me. Finally the needles in my arms started to work, and the pain slowly decreased. I started to doze away, tried to squint at my rescuer, suddenly recognized him, and mumbled: "Jack..." "Yes, Harry, it's Jack. Now be brave, let yourself go, and know I will be with you all the time." I closed my eyes, and felt myself fade away into a welcoming and comforting darkness... I woke up in a white room, hearing beeping and whistling sounds from everywhere, and feeling completely numb. I couldn't move my body, but my eyes could scan part of the room I was in, and wherever I looked I saw colored wires and plastic tubes disappearing into nasty looking machines. I couldn't remember anything of what had happened to me, and felt at a loss... Where was I? And why was I tied down and connected to all those wildly beeping and whistling machines? I moaned, and within two seconds the face of a nice man appeared, tenderly smiling at me: "Hi, my little friend, you finally woke up. Please take it easy, and everything will be all right now." Who was that man? I didn't recognize him, but he looked friendly and seemed to know me... and he spoke strange words I didn't understand. Fortunately I could feel the energy radiating from his words, and thus understood the essence of what he told me. I tried to ask him why I was here, but a searing pain threw me into a welcoming black hole, and I disappeared into nowhere. I woke up again in the same white room, looking at the face of a nurse who did things to my body that caused a dull and wrecking pain. At the other side the same man from yesterday helped her by holding a couple of white bandages. I started to moan, and the man smiled reassuringly: "Shush, my little friend, don't try to move. You are burnt all over your body, and the nurse is renewing your bandages. Is it very painful?" Again I felt the energy of the words and understood the essence of their meaning, but what was 'burnt'? I looked at the friendly man, and thought I recognized him, but wasn't sure. From where did I know him? A name entered my mind, and I whispered: "Jack..." "Yes, Harry, it's Jack. Now don't move, and try to bear the pain until we are done. It's necessary to help your body recover." 'Harry'? Was that my name? I didn't recognize it... I couldn't understand a word of what that man was telling me, but I knew with certainty what he had told me... how strange. Suddenly the dull pain changed into a searing pain, and I started to thrash around gritting my teeth and getting tears in my eyes. The nurse took a syringe and injected something into a tube that led to my arm, and after a few seconds I welcomed the comforting darkness. The room was dark, except for the moving displays and blinking colored lights on the machines that seemed to be attached to my body by several colored wires and tubes. My body felt completely numb, and a dull pain nagging in the background made me feel dead tired. I tried to move, but stopped immediately feeling the now well-known searing pain. I gritted my teeth until it slowly vanished into the dulled background. Why was I here, being attached to a couple of beeping and whistling machines and in so much pain? Where were my Mom and Dad? I tried to call them, but the only thing my throat produced was a raspy moaning sound. Obviously there was something very wrong... I tried to remember what had happened, but every time I thought of the past everything was a blur of screeching and blazing flames. One face popped up every time, the tenderly smiling face of the nice man who called himself 'Jack'. But even Jack wasn't here now. I was all on my own... I felt myself starting to panic, but forced my mind to stop the thinking, and drifted off into a restless sleep. I heard somebody opening the door, and felt the nice man's energy entering the room. I saw more light around, and supposed it would be early in the morning. I tried to greet the nice man, 'Jack', but produced only sort of a raspy sound. Where was my voice? Jack approached my bed, and looked at me with tears in his eyes while he tried to smile: "Good morning, my little friend. It's good to see you are awake." Again I didn't understand his words, but could feel their energy and thus knew what he was saying. I tried to nod, but that immediately caused a lot of pain. I gritted my teeth, and waited until the pain slowly faded away. Jack got more tears in his eyes, and tenderly took my hand: "Don't try to move. You are burnt very badly, and had a major surgery. Do you understand what I'm telling you?" I didn't dare to nod again, but blinked my eyes a couple of times to let him know I understood at least the essence of what he told me. But what was 'burnt' and what was 'major surgery'? I didn't have the faintest idea... Jack's face brightened a bit, while he wiped the tears from his eyes: "That might be a good idea for the time being... You are a clever boy! Maybe you can tell me something by using your eyes. Let's say blinking your eyes once means 'yes', and blinking them twice means 'no'. What do you think, shall we try it out?" I blinked my eyes once, hoping I would be able to ask him a few questions this way. "That's a good boy! I think this will work. Shall I ask you a couple of questions now?" Again I blinked once, feeling more enthusiastic. Maybe Jack could tell me what had happened! Jack took a chair and sat down next to me, again taking my hand: "Do you remember what happened to you before they brought you here?" I blinked twice. "Do you remember me, and the five neighborhood children you were playing with?" I blinked twice. "Do you remember anything from your past, or where you used to live?" I blinked twice. "I thought so. I saw it in your eyes when you woke up for the first time, that's now three weeks ago. You obviously didn't remember me. I've asked the doctor; and he thought the severe pain, followed by the medications, could have wiped out your memories, at least temporarily." 'THREE WEEKS AGO'? Did I understand him correctly? What had happened in those three weeks? Where was I? I looked at Jack with bulging eyes, jumped up, and was immediately knocked down by a searing pain that raged through my body. I screamed, and tumbled into a black hole... Huge flames licked at my body, and tried to take me away. I had to fight them with all my force, or else they would kill me. In the distance I heard my Mom screeching, and the desperate voice of my Dad telling me: "Harry, wake up and flee!" I jumped into the blazing fire, and heard the soothing voice of Jack, my savior: "Be brave, my little friend, and don't give up." Suddenly I knew what the foreign word 'burnt' meant, and that it was exactly what had happened to me... My consciousness returned into the room, and I felt very sleepy. Two doctors clad into green coats looked at me, and smiled. A nurse was busy with putting something into the plastic tube that led to my arm, while Jack watched over me. Suddenly I felt my heart jump in my chest: now I remembered him! He was the man that extinguished the fire and saved my life. He was my hero! One of the doctors looked into my eyes using a little flashlight, and asked me: "Do you feel better now?" I blinked my eyes once. The doctor didn't understand, and repeated his question. Now Jack took over and told the doctor I didn't understand the language, but always seemed to know the essence of what he told me. Again I blinked my eyes, urgently, and this time they all saw it. The doctor smiled at me, and told me: "That's good. Now you can communicate with us until we have repaired your vocal cords." So THAT was what was wrong with my throat... the hot smoke had scorched my vocal cords... Both doctors and the nurse left the room, and Jack took a chair and sat down next to me. Suddenly I looked around: where were those beeping and whistling machines, and where were the colored wires? I saw only one thin tube, going from my arm to a little bag hanging over my bed. I nearly missed those festal festoons... Jack took my hand, and I pinched his big hand in return. He smiled at me, and I saw a lot of love in his eyes. I felt I loved this man with all my heart, and sent him my love, feeling his own love coming back immediately. We were silent for a long time, and I felt I had found my Big Friend. I closed my eyes, marveling in the beautiful feeling of loving and being loved. Slowly I drifted into a deep and healing sleep. I woke up in a dark room, faintly lighted by a small greenish thing hanging over the door. My body felt dull, but the pain was gone. That is, until I tried to move, what caused a nagging pain that fortunately slowly faded away. I had to be very careful not to move! I started to think. What was happening to me? I tried to remember who I was, but only found a vague picture of many caravans around a campfire and having to flee. Several countries passed by, until finally our caravan burnt down and Jack rescued me. Where were my parents? Where they burnt too, and were they surrounded by nasty beeping machines too? I wanted to see them... A thought popped up into my mind: I would never see them again... but I suppressed that thought immediately. I wanted to see them now! Maybe Jack could help me find them, and bring me to them? Would they miss me? I certainly missed them! Suddenly I remembered the last talk my parents and I had, and now I understood... they were gone forever, and they knew it would happen. I had promised them to find a new Dad to live with... Maybe Jack could be my new Dad? I thought I felt my Mom and Dad being around me and comforting me, and drifted into a dreamless sleep. The next morning I woke up, and waited for Jack. A doctor appeared in the room, and told me I would have surgery the same afternoon, to mend my vocal cords and make some other corrections to my body. Did I understand him? I winked at him once, making him laugh: "That's the first time a little boy is flirting with me." I started to laugh, but my throat felt sore and produced only a raspy sound. "Please try not to laugh aloud. After surgery you have to be silent for at least three days, to let your throat heal. Do you understand me?" I blinked once, and the doctor winked back, causing both of us to grin. The doctor left the room, and I heard him talk to Jack outside the door. After a minute my Big Friend showed up, and suddenly the sun started to shine. I LOVED that man, and wanted him to be my new Dad. Jack sat down, and tenderly took my hand: "This afternoon the doctors are going to repair your vocal cords, and remove a lot of wild flesh. After the operation you have to be absolutely silent for at least three days. Do you think you can do that?" I winked at him once, making him chuckle and winking back: "I knew you would be a brave boy. There's something else: I think I can see you're remembering a bit more now. Am I right?" I blinked once enthusiastically. "Do you remember me?" I blinked once, and even nodded a bit. "Do you remember who you are?" I hesitated, but blinked twice. "That's no problem. I think your memories will return within a few days. Do you remember what happened to you?" I blinked once, then twice. "Yes and no? More or less? I've spoken with a psychiatrist, and he thought it would help you to know everything that has happened to you. Do you want me to tell you everything I know about it?" I blinked once and nodded, now very enthusiastically. Finally I would know why I was here... Suddenly I discovered that I could understand some of the foreign words. I was learning the foreign language by merely listening to it! I didn't know the meaning of 'operation' or 'surgery', but felt it had something to do with healing my throat. I knew what 'flesh' was, but what was 'wild flesh'? Flesh dancing around? I grinned inwardly, looking at the picture in my head of wildly dancing pieces of meat around our campfire... Jack looked at my grinning face curiously: "What's the fun? Why are you grinning?" Now I wished I could tell him what I was thinking! But I would have to wait for at least three other days... I decided to train myself in speaking the foreign language inside my head as often as I could muster, starting from now on, using my ability to feel the energies of the foreign words. Fortunately I was quite clever, and able to combine things very fast... Jack told me how he saw a blond-haired and blue-eyed perky small runt entering his driveway, toting a huge jerrycan and asking him something in a language he didn't understand. The little boy lifted his jerrycan high into the air and pointed to the water hose, thus clearly showing what he wanted. Jack liked the boy from the very moment he saw him, and decided to help him. The boy, that was ME. Jack ruffled my hair, and at that same moment his world turned upside down. He was absolutely sure he knew me, and had a strong feeling of being reunited after a long separation. He felt as if he had been waiting for me all his life... I was stunned, and looked at him with bulging eyes. I remembered that moment, and knew I had felt exactly the same feelings! I started to blink my eyes until they became sore, telling him: 'Yes, Jack, I remember, and I had the same feelings! I still have...' Jack seemed to understand me, bent over towards me, and tenderly kissed a small piece of my forehead that wasn't bandaged. Now I wished I could move my arms, but unfortunately they were both packed into heavy bandages. I hoped he could see the love radiating from my eyes... Jack took a handkerchief from his pocket, and dried his eyes. He looked at me, and carefully dried my teary eyes before putting it back. After a while he went on, telling me how sad he was when he saw that we were very poor. He wasn't rich himself, but decided to help us and give us as many clothes and foods as he could afford. He was very moved when he got all those smoked trout in return. The moment I crawled onto his lap and trusted him, he felt richer than he had ever felt in his whole life. And when I fell asleep in his arms, his heart felt all mushy and he nearly started to cry. At that moment he knew he loved me deeply. He brought me back to my caravan, and thought he would never see me again. After walking the other children home he immediately went to bed, feeling desperately lonely and crying his heart out until he finally fell asleep. In the middle of the night he woke up, and felt restless. He couldn't sleep any more, dressed, and went outside to try to calm down. Unintentionally he walked towards our caravan, where to his horror he saw huge flames blazing into the sky. He raced towards the fire, and saw a burning torch leaving the caravan, stumbling and slipping, desperately trying to get away from the flames... Slowly my memories returned. I remembered waking up coughing, while my Mom screeched and my Dad yelled at me to wake up and flee. Again I saw those little flames licking at my blankets, melting them into my naked body. Again I stumbled into the darkening smoke, desperately trying to open the caravan door. Again I slipped on the liquid outside and fell into it, causing me to burn like a torch... I grabbed Jack's hand and squeezed it, while I regained my memories of what had happened, feeling shivery and panting. Suddenly an enormous power enveloped me and embraced me. I saw a huge man, clad in a beautiful robe, smiling warmly. A gigantic flood of love and pure energy radiated towards me, while the man touched my head: "Don't be afraid, little one. The last time we met, I told you of something that would happen soon, and you would need it to regain your powers. Now it has happened, and it will help you to fulfil your task on earth. Soon you will meet your new Dad, and your Big Friend will guide you towards him. We, your ancestors and spirit guides, will always be with you and protect you. God bless you." The vision faded away; and I started to cry uncontrollably, for the first time since the fire took away my memories. Jack comforted me, also crying, until at last my sobs lessened and I fell into a deep sleep from all the exhaustion. I woke up when a nurse entered the room and removed the plastic tube in my arm, while Jack watched over me. She removed the blankets, and now I saw that I was packed from top to toe in heavy bandages. Only the point of my little pecker stuck out, having a small plastic tube attached. Why was that? Why was my pecker attached to something I couldn't see? She took my small penis into one hand, the plastic tube into her other hand, and told me: "Please inhale as deeply as you can, and now exhale..." I winced while she skillfully removed the plastic tube out of the sensitive slit. Ouch, that was painful! Now I saw the tube was attached to a plastic bag filled with yellowish water. Of course, that had to be my urine... I had never thought of that before! All the time Jack held my hand to encourage me, while two other men showed up and lifted me onto a stretcher. Together we went to an elevator, which stopped at another floor. The men pushed the stretcher into a huge room filled with all sorts of blinking machines. Jack looked at me with love in his eyes, and tenderly pinched my hand: "Be brave, my friend. After this operation you will be a new boy." A nurse put a small cap around my mouth and nose, and told me to blow into it. Suddenly everything turned around, and I shifted away into a quiet and peaceful world full of blinking stars and beautiful sounds... My throat felt sore, my body was on fire, my muscles ached, and my arms and legs cramped. Fortunately I could feel Jack's energy around, and that comforted me. I tried to open my eyes, and squinted in the sudden light. I seemed to be back in my 'own' room. A friendly nurse smiled at me, and showed me a little box with a white knob sticking out: "This box carries a sedative. Each time you push the knob, a little bit of sedative enters your body and kills the pain. You can decide for yourself how much sedative you want to use, because it's making you feel very numb and drowsy. Please don't use it more than is absolutely necessary. Do you want to try it out now?" I nodded, and she put the box next to my hand. I put my finger onto the knob, and pushed it... ten seconds later a warm feeling flushed my body, and I felt the pain dulling away. That felt a whole lot better, and I tried to smile. "Please don't use it more than once an hour, unless you really need it. And try not to make any sounds for at least three days, because your vocal cords have to heal properly first. Do you understand everything I told you?" I nodded again, while I started to feel a bit drowsy and numb. However, that felt much better than the aching pain I had before! The nurse left the room, and Jack took a chair to sit next to me: "The surgeons have repaired your throat and removed a lot of wild flesh from your body. Until now you got a sedative during the whole day, but the doctors thought you were mature enough to administer it all by yourself, and I agree with them. Please don't overuse it." I nodded, and suddenly I discovered something: I COULD NOD. Until now every movement had caused me a lot of pain, but now I could move my arms and my legs without feeling anything! I nearly started to cry with relief, while I moved my arm and touched Jack's face. Now I saw that my bandages were gone. The skin on my arms looked strange, as if somebody had painted it in a lot of ugly colors and small scars. Was this the result of the burning? Did my legs look the same as my arms? And the rest of my body, was it colored like this too? How was my face? Where could I see my face? I started to tremble... Jack saw my nervousness, and tried to calm me down: "Take it easy, everything will turn out for the best. You are severely burnt all over your body, and the doctors did a wonderful job in removing the burnt skin and replacing it with skin from other parts of your body. Everything has to heal now, so please be patient." I was NOT patient, and wanted to know how the rest of my body looked NOW. My arms felt heavy, as if they were dead tired, but I managed to shift down my blankets and looked down... I stared in horror at my poor body; that looked terribly. Several ugly stripes showed on my chest in all colors of the rainbow, while a couple of ribs showed through the too tight and scarred skin. My right hip looked like a raw piece of meat from a wild animal, and my poor little pecker looked distorted and wrinkled... I started to cry, while Jack tried to put his arms around me. My body was a MESS... I wanted to crawl out of bed and sit on Jack's lap, but my muscles refused to serve me. I was numb and dizzy, and felt all the strength leave my body. I was dead tired, and slowly shifted into a welcoming darkness. I woke up sometime during the night, and felt stiff all over. My body ached and my muscles felt sore, so I grabbled around until I found the little box with the white knob. I pushed it, and felt the warm flush dulling the pain away. That felt better! Now I had to pee... I felt around with my hand, but couldn't find a plastic tube in my penis. What now? I couldn't call a nurse, because my throat had to heal first. I thought about leaving the bed and looking for a restroom, but I felt too weak and didn't know where it was... I leaned onto my elbows, careful not to touch one of my scars, and looked around. On the wall next to my bed I saw a huge push knob that glowed invitingly. Was that a knob to call for a nurse? Should I push it, and see what happened? I shifted towards the glowing knob, reached out, and pushed it. The knob started to blink, and half a minute later a smiling nurse entered my room: "You have called, sir? Maybe I can help you. What's the problem?" I had to pee badly, but how could I make that clear to her? I pushed the blankets away, and pointed to my wrinkled pecker... "Ah, I see what you want. Well, that's no problem. Just a moment." She dived under the bed, and returned carrying sort of a bottle with a wide opening. She smiled, took my penis, and pointed it to the bottle. With a deep sigh I relieved myself. That felt better, only now it started to ache inside. Maybe the plastic tube had irritated it? The nurse took a wet towel, and carefully cleaned my pecker. She powdered it, and put a little bit of a greasy paste onto its top. She shook up my pillow, straightened my blankets, and wished me good night: "That will feel better. Was that all, sir? You are a brave boy! Sleep well." A minute later I was soundly asleep again. Jack was early, and helped the nurse to wash me. That was a bit painful, because my scars started to itch and became sore. However I knew it was necessary, so I bit my tongue and let them do it. They dried me, and Jack helped to smear my body with a shiny paste to keep the scarred skin flexible. He put me onto a potty, and carefully cleaned my rear end. The nurse applied a new band-aid to the needle in my arm that was attached to the little box. Jack laid me down onto the bed with love in his deep brown eyes: "Now you look like a newborn boy. Do you want to wear pajamas, or maybe underpants?" I shook my head, and crawled under the clean blankets with a sigh of contentment. I was dead tired again, but felt good. Jack took a chair and sat next to me. Soon I wormed my hand into his, and he pinched it tenderly. He felt like my second Dad... Jack started to tell me the story of his life, and I used his words to repeat them in my mind trying to learn the foreign language. He told me he was an only child, and lost his parents after a few years. The authorities put him into an orphanage, where he had to fend for himself until he was old enough to be on his own. He visited a training college, and became a teacher. He had inherited a small sum of money from his parents, and bought the house he was living in since then. Now and then he tutored a few children to have some income. He was befriended by John's mother, and had seen John, Mark, and Marrie growing up, now and then babysitting them in his or their house. He had a few girlfriends, but never married them and didn't regret it. He was forty-eight years old, and felt happy and healthy. A few years ago Thomas and Chrissy showed up in the neighborhood, and since that time the five children were nearly always together. I felt a little bit less tired, and wanted to sit on Jack's lap; so I threw the blankets aside and tried to get out of bed. That was difficult, because I felt very weak and started to tremble all over from the effort. Jack saw what I wanted, and lifted me out of bed and onto his lap, draping a blanket around both of us to keep me warm. With a deep sigh I melted into him and closed my eyes. That felt wonderful! The door opened and one of the doctors entered the room, freezing when he saw me on Jack's lap: "That child has to recover from his surgery! He belongs in his bed, and certainly not on your lap. Put him back immediately!" "I'm sorry, sir, but that child has a name! Little Harry WANTS to sit on my lap, and I'm a competent tutor and know what I'm doing. I'm sure he needs the warmth, the safety, and the coziness more than his pillow. I will put him to bed the moment he is too tired, or wants it himself." The doctor turned around and left the room without looking back. After that we didn't see him for a long time... Jack held me a bit closer, and kissed the top of my head: "Don't be afraid, he's only one of the doctors here. He has nothing to say about you and me. Do you want to go back to your bed?" I shook my head vigorously, still marveling in the feeling of being safe and loved. I wanted to tell Jack how much I loved him and even needed him, but I had to wait for another two days before I was allowed to use my vocal cords... We cuddled for a long time, until at last I felt too tired and Jack tenderly put me to bed. The nurse brought me a platter of food, and Jack helped me by slicing it into pieces and now and then putting a piece into my mouth. I loved his help! The next two days Jack loyally visited me every day. He helped the nurse to wash me, put me onto the potty, helped me when I had to pee, cleaned me up, and felt like a father and a mother all in one. And he felt like my Very Best Big Friend. Many times I sat on his lap, feeling safe and loved, until I was too tired and had to rest. Then he put me to bed and kissed my forehead. All the time he told me more things about his life, about my five friends who had asked for me a couple of times, about the neighborhood where he lived, and that he wished I could live with him when eventually I had left the hospital... I threw my arms around his neck, and nearly suffocated him until my arms started to ache too much. I loved him with all my heart, and I longed for the moment I could TELL him what I felt. I was training for it in my head all the time, and couldn't wait to show him my new skill! ============================ Thank you for reading this chapter of 'Little Harry's youth'. My FIRST book, 'Little Harry', is for sale! It costs only $ 19.95 ... Please visit my homepage http://www.harryanders.com and buy it. It's helping lots of people to cope with their feelings! I love your emails, please send them to harry@harryanders.com . Maybe I will not be able to answer all of them, but be assured I will certainly read them all! I wish you lots of Love in your life, and Peace in your heart. And thank you, Nifty, for hosting my stories. Harry AnderS, alternative writer. I'm living in The Netherlands, and my native language is Dutch. Please have a look at my site http://www.harryanders.com or send me and email at mailto:harry@harryanders.com