Date: Fri, 5 Oct 2001 19:39:10 -0700 From: Robert Just Robert Subject: Lost in fear-Chapter three Lost in fear Chapter three "You are my sunshine." We sat hugging for sometime as Jimmy quietly sobbed and I tried to digest what I had just heard. What was I going to do now. As far as the authorities were concerned, I was as guilty as his parents. Sure I was a boylover, but I could never hurt or force a boy to do anything and I hated those who could. But, what could I do? I had to think fast and my plan had to be a good one. When Jimmy had composed himself, he went off to the bathroom while I collected my thoughts. He returned after about fifteen minutes, I guessed he had to move his bowels but I didn't ask. He had washed his face and looked almost like the happy boy I had taken shopping hours before. I had to know more but, I didn't want to make him go through any more today. "Okay buddy." I began. "This is what we have to do until I can figure things out." "I'll do anything so long as I can stay here." He said meekly. "First..I don't think we should go out anymore. I was stupid for parading you all over town like I did. Let's just hope no one remembers us, in case your parents are looking for you." "They don't care. They won't look. They don't care if I'm dead." He said sadly. "Well maybe, but at some point they have to file some kind of report or they could be in big trouble when someone figures out you are missing. What about school, won't they miss you there?" I tried hard to explain things in a way that a kid could understand. "I never went to school...least not here. We only moved here last month. We lived in Little Rock before." He said looking small and fragile. I hugged him and looked into his eyes. "That could be a good thing. Probably only your folks know you are missing at this point. I can take a week off work while we figure things out. I need to check the news and newspapers to see if anyone has reported you missing." I watched the local news and there was no report of any missing boys. And I found the morning paper still in my paper box out out front. Still no reports of missing boys. I sighed a breath of relief..so far so good. I ordered pizza for supper and Jimmy seemed back to his normal hungry boy self. We settled down on the couch after supper and Jimmy stretched out with his little feet in my lap. Feet just happen to be one of my favorite boy parts. I couldn't help but admire their perfectness. I finally started rubbing them gently and he purred like a kitten at my touch. This poor kid was so starved for any kind of affection. I felt good about what I had done for him so far and I knew I would never hurt this precious soul. I glanced over at him and his eyes were closed and he was breathing softly. I smiled, happy that he felt so safe and comfortble with me. I let him lay there until the nightly news was over. Still no reports of a missing boy, so I picked him up gently and carried him to my bed. He barely stirred as I removed his clothing, leaving him only in his new white briefs. I tucked him in and kissed his forehead. As I turned to go he reached his tiny hand out and grabbed my arm. "Will you sing to me?" He asked dreamily. "Well, I'm not much of a singer, but I'll sing you the song my dad used to sing to me. I always went right to sleep." I lay down beside him on top of the covers and started softly singing. "You are my sunshine...My only sunshine...you make me happy..when skies are grey...you'll never know dear...how much I love you...please don't take my sunshine away." I had a tear in my eye and I was beginning to choke up remembering my dad and how much he had loved me. It broke my heart to know that until now no one loved this little boy lying beside me. I hugged him tight and was happy to see that he was sound asleep. I got up quietly and tip-toed out of the room. I needed some time to think. I called my boss at work and explained that I had a family emergency and needed the week off. My boss was a really nice guy and he showed genuine concern and assurred me it was no big deal and to let him know if I needed anything. That done, I sat down with a beer and began to formulate a plan. Something in my brain told me that things would work out, but I didn't know then just how that could happen. I decided that at some point I had to contact or visit his parents. I was absolutely scared shit-less at that prospect. I was no fighter and from what Jimmy had told me, his step dad sounded like one mean dude. I couldn't think of any good reason for what I had done other than I wanted to help a boy in trouble. I knew most people could never accept that as a valid reason, that they had to assume that a single male picking up a nine year old boy had only evil on his mind. I finished my beer and started my second. The phone suddenly rang and I almost peed my pants. I was shaking as I picked it up. It was my dad. "Dad, what's up?" I said with relief. I hadnt't heard from him in a few months and always enjoyed talking with him. We chatted for over an hour and I felt the warmth and love that this man had always given me. I felt good about myself as I hung up with a heart felt "I love you." and found I had tears in my eyes. I went to check on my little angel and found him on top of the covers, I guess he had gotten hot. He looked so cute lying there and suddenly I knew what I would do. But first I needed a good nights sleep. I took a shower, shaved and peed and slipped on some boxers before climbing in beside Jimmy. He found me in his sleep and snuggled close. I remembered snuggling up to my father when I was small and he always made me feel safe and loved. I drifted off to sleep and slept a dreamless, restfull sleep.