Date: Thu, 27 Mar 2003 17:10:46 -0600 From: Rhaven Subject: Love of Grace Chapter Four This story contains strong language and sexual content between boy/boy and boy/man. New WebSite :) www.rhaven2002.com Love of Grace By RHAVEN2002 CHAPTER FOUR Calvin grabs Kat by the shoulders. "What did you say?" Kat looked concerned; Calvin had lost his smile and now looked scared. "I said." Kat hesitated briefly. "You have Demi and I. I have Andel." "What does that mean Kat?" Calvin asked trying to remain calm. "I don't know, we're friends. He makes me. feel good." Kat was worried, what if Calvin threw a fit, and would he forbid Kat from seeing Andel again? "What's the big deal?" Demi laughed. "I think that's really cool." Calvin gave Demi a harsh look at first, but couldn't keep his grimace. "You're right, I'm overreacting here." Calvin relaxed and patted his brother on the shoulder. "You guys go have fun." "What about you?" Kat asked looking between Demi and his brother. "This is your day; I don't want to get in the way." Calvin explained. "Don't be crazy, I don't mind you hanging out with Demi and me." Calvin smiled shaking his head. "You sure about that?" "Yeah we can watch a movie or something." Kat declared. "That's cool with me." Demi said nudging Calvin with his elbow. "Okay you convince me. However, I have to run some errands for mom first. I'll do that and then we can all spend some time together all right?" "Excellent!" Demi cheered. Kat allowed Demi and Calvin a private moment to say 'good byes' as he ran to the bathroom. It wasn't long before Demi joined him. "Man have I missed you." Demi said as he hugged Kat again giving him quick smacking kisses on his face. "Geeze, Demi you're acting like I've been gone for years." Kat wiped off the sloppy kisses. "Feels like it to me. So did you really have fun at Mr. Grace's house? "What's he like? He seems kind of freaky to me." Demi still held Kat, as if he let go, his friend would be gone again. Kat tried to walk with his friend clinging to him, but gave up. "Andel is the coolest. I think you'd like him if you got a chance to know him." "hummm?" Demi wrapped his arms around Kat's waist and rested his head on his shoulder. "I think you really like him. even maybe.. Love him." Kat pushed Demi off him, he was about to deny it, but changed his mind. "I love him, like I've never loved anyone else, Demi. His fantastic and I already miss being with him." Demi took a step back from his friend. "Wow Kat. I'm speechless." Demi followed Kat to the boy's room. "Demi you've never been speechless." Kat laughed. Without warning Demi threw Kat to the bed. They wrestled as nothing had happened between them, they were friends again and it felt good. Kat didn't even mind when Demi gave him a extra sloppy kiss on his stomach. "You know the way you described your feel about Mr. Grace, is the way I feel about Calvin." Demi said as he sat on Kat's stomach. "That's great Demi." Demi pulled up Kat's shirt again and kissed his chest, this time more lovingly. "He makes me feel . great!" Demi ran his hands down Kat's stomach. "That's cool Demi." Kat said almost stammering. He really missed Andel now; with all this talking and the way Demi was touching him, he wasn' t sure he could go a full day without him. "So did you guys do anything. interesting?" Demi giggled as he continued to massage Kat's stomach. "Yeah we." Kat paused and decided not to mention the swimming pool. That would be his secret for the moment. "We watched a really cool horror movie." "No silly, did you guys to anything 'Interesting'?" Demi winked and finally Kat understood. He wasn't sure he should reveal what had happened between Andel and him. It wasn't that he felt it had been wrong, but just a private moment, a special moment. "That's about all we did." He finally said. "Yeah right." Demi winked again, but didn't press the issue. He finally climbed off Kat and helped his friend off the bed. "Calvin should be home soon. Oh and Kat." "Yes?" "You may think about changing your clothes. Those are starting to smell musty." Demi waved his hand in front of his nose to emphasize his point. Kat sniffed at his shirt and frowned. He couldn't smell anything, but it probably was a good idea. Kat stripped off his clothes and started to dig through the pile of clothes. "You know, I've never noticed before." Demi said as he grabbed Kat's butt. "But you and your brother have the same body." Kat slapped his friend's hands away. "That's nice Demi. Geeze, like I want to hear that." "No really, you guys are a lot alike. I don't know why I hadn't noticed before." Demi chuckled and pinched at Kat's bottom. "Really Demi, that's too much information from me, okay." Kat pulled on some underwear and then a pair of shorts. It took him longer to find a shirt, everything he had seemed so childish. Finally, he found a shirt that didn't make him look like a baby. As he started to pull on the shirt, Demi tackled him again. They fell into the mound of clothes and rolled to the floor. "Demi, what are you doing? Kat giggled. "I know you and Mr. Grace did 'It'." Demi said. "Come on, tell me!" "What are you talking about?" Kat stopped laughing as he struggled out of his shirt so that he could see. "Come on, Kat don't act stupid. Tell me everything, every detail." Demi started kissing Kat madly. He ran his hands down Kat's chest and over his stomach, slipping his hand down his shorts. "What are you doing?" Kat asked confused. "You love him; more than you love me don't you?" Demi said almost crying. Kat lay there as Demi pulled on his shorts until they were around his knees. "Demi." Kat began. "Demi it's not that way." Demi kissed at Kat's erection. "Please Kat. Please." Demi kept repeating. Kat was finally able to pull himself free of his friend. "Demi, stop it!" Kat screamed. Demi sat up and looked at his friend. "Demi, yes I love Andel. But that has nothing to do with the way I feel about you." Kat held out his hand until, finally Demi took it. "You are my best friend, I can't think of anyone I love as much as you. But I love you as a friend and a brother. My love for Andel is different; it's a different kind of love." Demi lay next to Kat and unconsciously played with the boy's bellybutton. "I'm sorry Kat; I just don't think I could live without your friendship. I can't lose you." Demi moved closer, laying his head on Kat's chest. "You know that's funny." Kat said. "What's funny?" Demi asked. "I thought the same thing, when you and Calvin got together. And all along I knew the answer." Kat rested back into his pile of clothes. They lay there together and just enjoyed each other's company. No words were needed to express their love. "I'm back. what the devil?" Calvin skidded to a stop as he entered the room. Kat still had his shorts down at his knees and Demi apparently was fascinated with Kat's bellybutton. "Hi." Kat and Demi said in unison. "You two are completely insane." Calvin frowned. "I've got ice cream in the kitchen if you two feel like separating for a few minutes." "Ice cream!" the boys screamed together and made a mad dash out of the room. "Unfair, unfair!" Kat cried jokily and he limped into the kitchen trying to pull his shorts up. "What a sore loser." Laughed Demi. "You're just mad I beat you to the kitchen." "This is going to be a long day." Calvin joked as he handed out the ice cream to the boys. After the ice cream, they all headed for the living room. Kat realized how small his television really was, after experiencing Andel's huge flat screen. He almost laughed when Calvin turned on the set, but stopped himself. "Here we go!" Calvin announced once he found a movie that interested him. It was something called 'The Fly-Away Boy'. It looked stupid to Kat, but he didn't complain. He knew there was no way in getting Calvin to watch a horror movie. As the movie began, Kat and Calvin were sitting at the ends of the couch, with Demi in the middle. It didn't take long before Demi and Calvin were in each other's arms. Kat didn't complain, if he had it would have been about the boring movie. He was never really into fantasy movies, especially sappy fantasy movies. Kat glanced over to his brother and Demi; they weren't watching the movie either. In fact, Kat was pretty sure they had forgotten he was even here. It was still weird seeing his brother and best friend making out. He had to control that ping of pain from the fact that they were ignoring him. Kat didn't have an exciting life and he wasn't someone who had to be entertained twenty four hours a day. However, at that moment, Kat thought he was going to scream from boredom. He hated the movie, he was uncomfortable on the couch and he was sick of hearing the smacking noise of his brother and friend kissing. Kat finally had enough, he decided to go to his room and watch a decent movie. "Where you going?" Demi broke away from Calvin's embrace. "I thought. I'm going to my room." Kat tried to act as if nothing was wrong, but he was sure his voice betrayed him. "Don't go Kat, we'll stop." Calvin said sitting up. "It's not that Calvin." Kat said quickly. "No it's not us, Kat is thinking of his new lover." Demi giggled. "New lover? Do you mean Mr. Grace?" Calvin jumped to his feet, almost knocking Demi off the couch. "What's going on Kat?" "It's nothing Calvin, really." "Don't give me that bullshit! You've known that man for less than two days and now you think you're in love with him? Did he. did he touch you in anyway?" Calvin tried not to yell, but was losing the battle. "If that son-of-a-bitch has done anything to you. I'll. I'll." "He's not done a thing!" Screamed Kat. "And I don't want to be preached at by you!" Kat was ready to pounce on his brother if he said another word. "Andel is a wonderful man and has shown me nothing but kindness. And what if I do love him is that so bad?" "Kat he's at least 30 years old! That's crazy; you can't be in love with someone older than you!" Calvin said a little calmer. Kat laughed. "You have got to be kidding. How can you say that when Demi loves you so much? He's a lot younger than you, are you saying this isn't love you two have?" "This isn't about Demi and me; this is about you and Mr. Grace." Calvin stammered. "What's the difference? Love is love, not matter where you find it or who with." Kat inhaled deeply and continued. "Love is love, Calvin." Calvin sat back down on the couch next to Demi. "I'm sorry Kat, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to cause all this. I guess I wasn't thinking." Demi slumped down and covered his face in shame. "I really am happy for you Kat and you're right, love is all that's important." Demi took hold of Calvin's hand. "Calvin, I know without a doubt that you love me and . and I hope you feel the same about me. Your age had nothing to do with the way I feel about you." "But Mr. Grace. I just don't know." Calvin lowered his head. "I just don't want you hurt Kat. He's an adult and can handle this a lot better than you. What if it doesn't work out.? Kat you're very sensitive and are hurt easily." "Calvin." Kat interrupted. "If it doesn't work out. I know I have a big brother that will help me through it. Just give me the chance to discover if it's love." Kat sat back down on the couch and rubbed his eyes. He tried to pretend that he had gotten something in his eye, not wanting them to know how upset he was. "I know I'm kind of. sensitive," Just saying that word made Kat feel like a baby. "I freak easily. But Andel makes me happy. He makes me feel special." Kat looked over to his brother and saw that he too was crying. "If it doesn't work out, then at least I will have this feeling with me forever. That one time in my life, I was special and I was loved. Isn' t that better than never knowing love?" There was a long moment of silence in the room. No one dared to speak, Kat's words hung heavily upon their hearts. "Every since dad left." Calvin said finally breaking the solemn silence. "I made myself responsible for your happiness." Calvin exhaled heavily. "I know I haven't done a great job at it, but I tried." "Calvin." Kat whimpered. "Let me finish Kat. I know there's nothing I could have said that would convince you this is wrong." "It's not wrong Calvin. How can it be wrong when it makes me feel so good?" Kat said almost begging Calvin to understand. "Hang on Kat." Calvin said holding up his hand to quiet his brother. "I don't feel this is right, but I won't stop you. I don't think I know how to stop you." Calvin pulled Demi closer to him and gave him a quick kiss. "I don't think I have the right to stop you." Kat knew he should have felt good by what Calvin said. It meant he wasn't going to stop him from seeing Andel again. However, Kat didn't feel good, he felt horrible. He left the living room for this room without complaint from Demi or his brother. Kat thought maybe he should say something to his brother, but nothing seemed right. Therefore, he left the room without saying a word. Once in his room Kat turned on his television and leapt onto his bed. Kat couldn't stop his tears, a sadness flooded over him that sapped all his energy. What if he wasn't truly in love with Andel, how do you know love, when you've never experienced it before? What did love feel like? All these questions were giving Kat a headache. "Hi." Demi said timidly at the doorway. "Can I come in?" "Yeah." Kat patted the other side of the bed. Demi dived onto the bed with a great bounce. "Kat I'm really sorry about all this." Demi rolled over until he was almost lying on top of Kat. "I didn't say it to start a fight." "I know you didn't Demi, it's okay." Kat said sniffing back his tears. "We'll get through this Kat, I promise." Demi hugged his friend tight. "It's been a living Hell lately hasn't it?" Kat tried to laugh. "Yeah it has." Demi agreed. "Where's Calvin?" Kat asked looking over at his friend. Demi sat up and looked anxious. "It was something he thought he had to do." Demi finally said. "What? What is he doing?" Kat sat up also; he didn't like the sound of this. "Kat, Calvin loves you a lot." "Damn it Demi, what has Calvin done?" Kat jumped out of bed. "Tell me Demi!" "Calvin has gone over to talk to Mr. Grace." Demi said in a hushed voice, cringing from Kat's reaction. "No, please God no! Neither of you understand how Andel is!" Kat fell to his knees; he no longer had the strength to stand. "It's all ruined." Demi raced over to his friend and helped him back to the bed. "It's not ruined Kat, they will just talk. I'm sure everything will be fine." "Shut up, just shut up! You don't understand anything." Kat threw his hands over his eyes, his head was throbbing and he couldn't think straight. "I'm tired of all this Kat!" Demi screamed back. "I'm tired of fighting and trying to make sense of it and you. You don't want my help. You don't want you're brother's help, then fine!" Demi stomped out of the room. "When is all this going to end?" Cried Kat. Kat sat in his rooms for what seemed like hours. He could only imagine Andel's reaction when Calvin confronted him. The man probably freaked and has locked himself in his room. What would Calvin say to Andel, would he talk about Kat's love for him? That thought made Kat's stomach turn. He hadn't mentioned to Andel his love for him, how would the man feel about hearing it from his older brother. It would make him look like an idiot. There was also the chance that Andel would never want to see Kat again. He knew how the man was about people and with Calvin confronting him; it may drive him deeper into that self-built prison. No matter how many scenarios Kat came up with, none of them ended well for him and Andel. Kat thought back to the kiss he shared with Andel, the tender touch and the quiet moment as they stared up at the sky. Would he ever experience that again? Would his time with Andel be nothing more than a haunting memory? With that thought, Kat realized there was nothing worse than 'What could have been', opportunities missed or lost, that was no way to live. "Kat?" Demi whispered as he entered the room again. "Can we talk?" Kat wasn't able to speak, but managed to nod. "You're right I don't know Mr. Grace. I don't know how he will react to your brother. But I don't think Calvin would willingly destroy your relationship with Mr. Grace. I think he just wants to know the man better." Kat nodded again. Demi moved closer to his friend, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Do you think love is this difficult for everyone?" Demi asked. "I hope not." Kat said. "If it is. I don't know why anyone would want it." Demi smiled for the first time since entering the room. He leaned forward and gave his friend a kiss. "I guess love wouldn't be so complicated if we didn't have to fight off everyone's opinion, huh?" Demi said scooting closer to his friend. "Yeah, I'm sorry Demi if I've made it hard on you and Calvin. This is some mess we have here isn't it?" "And I'm sorry Kat for being so crazy." "Can I come in?" Calvin said as he stepped into the doorway. Kat felt his heart leap into his throat. If he had any energy left, it all vanished when Calvin appeared. Kat's body started to tremble. Demi must have noticed for he gripped Kat's hand and squeeze, indicating his support. "I guess you've heard where I went." Calvin said plainly, though he avoided making eye contact with Kat. Kat forced his body to stop shaking; he didn't have the energy to fight with his brother. "How could you Calvin?" He finally managed to say. Calvin shuttered from his brother's comment. "I don't know Kat; I had to know this man. I had to know the person who has captured my little brother's heart." Calvin paced around the room, only stopping once to turn off the television. "What do you think now, Calvin? What happened?" Demi asked as he still held Kat's hand. Kat held his breath as his brother collected his thoughts on Demi's question. He wasn't sure he could survive his answer. Kat didn't want to hear it, but he had to know also. It took an eternity before Calvin spoke again. "I. I like the man. I went over there hating everything about him. Hating him for making you love him. But once we started talking, I understood." Calvin finally looked at Kat. "I have every reason to hate Mr. Grace. I hate him for making you feel this way. I hate him for what is going to become of this relationship. I hate him for being an adult." Calvin saw the look in Kat's eyes and waved his hand to reassure his brother. "I also hate that I like him." Calvin finally stopped pacing. "But God help me, I like him. We talked about his artwork and his life, but mostly his concern about us." "About us?" Kat asked, his heart was beating so fast that he could barely breathe. "Andel was honestly concerned that you and I moving passed all this mess. I have to say I was kind of shocked he knew about Demi and me, but Andel was very supportive." "You really like him?" Kat whispered, almost afraid to ask the question. "Don't get me wrong, I'm still not sure about this relationship. I don 't really agree with it. Andel is a nice man, but he's still a man and you're . you're just a kid." Calvin walked over to his brother and knelt down next to him. "But love is love, and who am I to stand in its way." It all seemed a dream to Kat; he couldn't believe that Calvin liked Andel. Nevertheless, that still didn't change the facts. How could he face Andel again, how could he go over there again and face him after what his brother had done. Kat hugged his brother and Demi as if all was well. They all said 'sorry' and 'love you' but that still didn't change how Kat felt. They all headed for the living room and watched another movie. Kat pretended all was fine. They joked, they laughed all was well between them. Kat had to admit he was happy they were a family again. However, Kat couldn't help but think of Andel. He was glad when the time came to go to bed. Though he knew, sleep was impossible. He lay in bed trying his best not to think, but that only made his mind work harder.