Date: Wed, 11 May 2016 04:50:49 +0000 (UTC)
From: dalart101@yahoo.com
Subject: Lucky Lisp Chapter One

Lucky Lisp, by Dal.
For Mature Readers only.
------------------------------------------------------
One day in the late nineteen forties, Caroline Younke was
merely 18. She had just been accepted to art school in
Cleveland Ohio on the largess of her Aunt, once a flapper
and German Bund sympathizer.
It was on this occasion that she noticed a cocky boy with
muddled talent who was there on the GI bill. Her
girlfriends warned her to stay away from himÉ as he had a
reputation for seducing bobby-soxers with his expensive
clothesÉ and his propensity for holding a glass of bourbon
in one hand and a cigarette in the other as if he was a
cheap version of Frank Sinatra.

Naturally, the pretty young girl was drawn to him like a
moth to a flame. Eventually she succumbed to the charms of
Milton Bradley, no relation to the inventor of Chutes &
Ladders. "I AM A GENIUS!" Milton Bradley used to declare,
writing his name over and over, so that he got his
signature just right.

Fast forward nearly ten years, she was now Mrs. Milton
Bradley, pregnant on the way with the third of three
children. It was then, while working at a bakery, when she
pinched a loaf and her water broke. The baby's first name
was a last minute decision, having been assured by their
doctor that it was going to be a girl. They settled on
David Elizabeth Bradley, or Db for short.
"Lord, Égive us a funny child!" Mrs. Bradley prayed. So,
having planned accordingly, everything in the nursery was
pink, newborn included.

At this time Mr. Bradley was offered a job in Motown. Or,
Homotown, as he liked to call it. And so it was that Db,
aka David Bradley, aka Delicate Boy, grew up living the
sheltered existence of a child raised in the suburbs across
from the Edsel Ford estate. He was convinced their
neighbors lived in a castle protected by a moat and Niagara
Falls. Db liked to watch the hippies hitch rides along Lake
Shore Drive in front of his home. Which gave him the idea
to try it himself. An idea that his mother took exception
to.

Db's home was characterized by entitlement, depravation,
privilege, neglect and a strict No-baton-twirling policy.
Db's parents were always fighting. His dad was always
angry. It was not fun. Sometimes his father would just take
off and be gone for days on end. He would go to happy hour
and never come home. He could not be bothered. When Mr.
Bradley was home no one knew what was going to set him off;
like a messy room, or when DB would take off G.I. Joe's
underpants and leave the naked doll on the porch for anyone
to trip over.
For the most part, Db's family dynamic was like an after-
school special gone bad.
His father would instigate a situation that erupted into a
family drama.
His sister would get hysterical.
His mother was easily offended.
His brother would get pissed off.
Db would make a precocious remark that would temporarily
diffuse the situation.
Such was each character's role in the dysfunctional charade
that was Db's life.

Db was always at the receiving-end of his brother and
sister's passive-aggressive behavior.
They were very gender specific in their choice of weapons.
Db's sister threw a pot full of boiling water at him.
Db's brother threw a wrench.
They had issues, but Pops didn't believe in airing their
dirty laundry in public.
 "I'm not paying good money just so our kids can sit in
some headshrink's office and pout." Milton Bradley could be
heard saying.
Db had aspirations that were modest compared to other
children. He had no desire to be a fireman or a policeman.
Db wanted to be Dorothy. A problem soon remedied by
sneaking into his mother's room while the babysitter was
preoccupied with an episode of the Lawrence Welk Show. This
lead to a moment of self-discovery. And his discovery of
her red Roger Vivier Comma Heels. He enjoyed everything
about his mother's things. Her Pillbox hat, her false
eyelashes, and the way the drawers of her jewelry box
unfolded as if by magic. Her wig had a transformative
effect on him. He imagined himself as a siren luring
sailors to their doom. Gazing at this reflection in his
mother's dressing mirror, he fell in love with himself.
"Do you, delicate boy, take yourself to be your awfully
wedded wife?" Db: "ÉI do." Db kissed the mirrorÉ and was
jolted back to reality as he heard his father's car pulling
up in the driveway. DB's knew his Mom's things were
forbidden fruit, like his father's copy of Portnoy's
ComplaintÉ although he wasn't old enough to masturbate into
his sister's brassiere, even if he wanted to. Db's parents
walked in just as Db came downstairs smiling with as much
innocence as he could muster.
He found something else in his parent's bedroom that day. A
secret that would tug at his conscience for years to come.
He found a silver dollar under the bed that his friend
"Jimmy the Pooper" eventually talked him into spending on
Pistachios. Db didn't even like Pistachios. A few days
later he learned that his father had fired their maid.
"She took the bait! My little trick worked. That's how you
keep "them" honest." His father exclaimed.
She was a lovely lady who used to tell Db stories about how
the police would drive through her neighborhood and call
her a "2 dollar hooker" and ask her where she was going.
This was Detroit in 1967. The ghetto. A fine line divided
the rich and poor, black and white. Actually it was a wall
along 8 Mile Rd. that excluded blacks from stepping foot on
Grosse Pointe's manicured lawns. But the year the riots
broke out the National Guard took extra precautions just
the same and rolled their tanks past the mansions and
pointed them at the demonstrators.
The next year Dr. Martin Luther King gave a speech at the
Grosse Pointe School that Db's sister attended. His speech
was entitled, "The Other America." Three weeks later he was
assassinated.
Then, in June of that year, something else took place that
would have a huge impact on Db's life, unbeknownst to him.
One must first understand that the out homosexual was a
rarity at that time. Homosexual acts were illegal. There
was no right to public assembly.  There was no movement. No
community to fight back. Until something snapped. As
history will attest, a small group of drag queens and
members of the transgender community finally said enough
when the Stonewall Inn was raided and arrests were made, as
per usual, for no good reason. A demonstration broke out
and the world was never the same. But Db never learned
about it in school. In his sheltered existence gays didn't
exist unless they served as the punch line to a joke. "How
do you separate the boys from the men in the Greek Navy?...
With a crowbar." His father chuckled.

Fast forward to one day in 1970. 4 boys were standing in
front of Eastland Mall when a teenage girl walked past. On
orders a 6 year old Db ran up and squeezed her boob.
Girl: "You little creep!"
Db: "Those boys told me if I didn't grab your boob they
were going to beat my ass."
Girl: "Beat his ass! ..."Beat his ass!"
Db didn't even like boobs. DB thought they looked like big
bags of dog sick. DB didn't like to fight like most boys
his age. He liked to watch The Boy Wonder fight in green
underwear.
Db: "Meow."
He also had fantasies about getting kidnapped by Batman and
having milk and cookies together.  This played out into
what might be called a very naughty sex life between the
ages of 7 and 8 and a half. It seemed he was always in the
woods with his pants down. His new Nanny caught him playing
doctor with his friend Andy and spanked him severely. He
was afraid of her after that. He was afraid of grown-ups.
He was afraid of girls. He was afraid of boys. Mostly he
was afraid of his father. The only thing Mr. Bradley was
afraid of was that Db might turn out gay. The boy was born
with an unfortunate lisp and was a little too much on the
girly side for his father's liking. Db was often found
crying when his father wouldn't let him play with "gender
inappropriate" toys.
Of course, when kids played "Lost In Space" Db got to be
Penny because all the boy parts were taken. But it was June
Lockhart's role that he coveted. Db as Penny: "Will there
be boys on Alpha Prime? What ever will I wear?" Db even
made a funny hat and tried to imitate the flying nun. "Look
at me, Reverend Mother... I can fly!" Of course whenever
his father caught him prancing around he would put a stop
to it right quick.
"You're a boy, not a girl!... You'll jump rope over my dead
body!"

Db's first real crush was on a schoolmate named Beau
Williams. It was during a luncheon one day when Db's mom
was commenting on how handsome Beau wasÉ Db chimed in and
let the cat out of the bag.
Db's mom: "Your Beau is going to break some little girl's
hearts."Db : "Yes, and some boy's hearts too!.. "Isn't he
pretty, Mama?"
Mrs. Williams: "Oh, my. Is he that way?"
The eight year old was unwittingly turning into quite the
little fairy; crossing his legs when he sat down, extending
his pinkie in the air when he drank milk, and continuously
walking around with his hand on his hip. When Db's Aunt
made a comment about it he responded with the sarcastic
flair of a well-seasoned drag queen.
"Well, aren't you a little teapot!" His aunt said.
Db grabbing his willy. answered back, "Short and stout!
Here's my handle. Here's my spout!" His aunt gasped,
choking hysterically on her date and walnut scone, before
having to be rushed to the emergency room.
Mostly, Db loved singing in the car during long trips.
"Mares eat oats and does eat oatsÉ If the words sound
QUEER! And funny to your earÉ"
"Db, Shut the hell up or so help me God!" Db's father would
shout. The old man tried to butch him up by signing him up
for Little League. Db cried and wouldn't get out of the
car. Eventually he gave in. Db was afraid of the ball, so
his status was lower than any girl in the school. When Db
was put in the outfield he picked dandelions, and was
bothered by fly balls on numerous occasions. Clearly his
mind was on something other than baseball. Planning his
trousseau and a non-traditional wedding perhaps.
In the 3rd grade everyone called him a girl. Then they
called him a fruit. Then it changed to fairy. But it was
around the time of that delightful social experiment called
Middle School that Db achieved legendary status as the
class "fem". Short for feminine, it was the slur of the
decade.
Kid: "Hey, SteveÉ I think that kid in the Disney shirt
likes you!" "Haw! Haw!"_
Db: "What's wrong with Tommy Kirk?ÉHe was great in Son of
Flubber!"
Pretty soon everybody began to suspect Db was gay. Perhaps
it was the fact that he liked to wear sweater vests and got
an A in Teen Chefs that gave it away.
"Dang it! This pie crust is fighting me every step of the
way!"
One morning Db woke up from a dream where he was forced to
play volleyball with no pants on. When he got to school
some kid made a penis out of blue clay and put it on Db's
chair. He sat on it, by accident, of course, which was
hysterically funny by all accounts.
 "Maybe I'm weird and everyone else is normal."
Every day for the next four years of jr. high, Db sat in
front of a group of boys who whispered shit in his ear.
"Fag, Fag, Hey Fag, You know you're a Fag! Why are you such
a Faggot?ÉHey, fag!" But their favorite past time was to
take turns spitting in his face and punching him because he
was afraid to hit back. Out of the blue some 6th graders in
the lunchroom asked him if he liked boys.
"No..."
"Are you sure?, 'cause we're playing "Find the hidden
fairy" and you got the highest score."
--- "How can they tell I'm gay just by looking at me?"

Db didn't even know what gay was. All he knew was, it's
about the worse thing you could be._ And there he was
thinking that he was normal. There must be something wrong
with him, he reasoned. What if the things they were saying
about him were true?
"Why couldn't I be an axe murderer? Why did I have to be
queer?"_ Granted, Db had unicorns drawn on his lunch bag.

Every day after-school it was the same old story. Db would
come home with food in his hair and his Mom assumed he was
a sloppy eater.
"How was school today, honey?"
Db: Grunt.
What was he supposed to say? É"Great Mom! I was only called
a fag fifty times today and forced to wear a tiara!"

Gym was it's own private hell. As far as Db was concerned
P.E. was just an excuse for some jerk to hit you dead in
nuts with a tennis ball.
The Gym teacher, Mr. Heehaw, would exclaim: "Looks like
somebody forgot to protect their lady parts!"

One day in gym the boys and girls lined up for what was to
be an introduction to the foxtrot.
Mr. Heehaw: "Today you're going to pick a dance partner. If
you don't pick a girl, you have to dance with a boy."
There was a flurry as partners were chosen, but when Db
tried to choose a partner, a girl pushed him away, "Queero
Weirdo!" As it turned out, another boy named Tyler didn't
find a dance partner either. So the two boys danced
together, and giggled in unison as they practiced dancing
in step.
After school, Db and his new friend made the mistake of
being seen together.
Bully boys: "LookÉ They're in love. Hold hands why don't
cha!"
(Db stuck his tongue out at them.) The Name-calling went on
for two blocks until the group of bullyboys doubled in
size. (Mob chanting: Fem!Fem!Fem!) They pushed DB and Tyler
against the side of a building and mushed them into a
corner.

Mob: "Kiss him!" The bullies forced Db and Tyler's heads
together. Their lips mashed against each together. Db saw
terror in his young friend's eyes.
"Ewwww!!! Boy kisser!" went the crowd.
(A crying Tyler threw a clump of dirt at DB.) "Faggot!" (Db
ran home with tears rolling down face.)
Tyler didn't show up for school the next day.
"Hey, Db! Do you miss your boyfriend? ÉHaw, haw." The
bullies persisted. Db did.

A kid named Scott passed as Db's friend for a while.  He
was two years older, lived around the block from Db, and
made fun of him for being a pansy. Db's motive was not so
much to have him as a friend than it was to watch the
eleven-year-old change into his wrestling singlet.
Db: "Why can't I take my eyes off of him?"
Scott's motive wasn't friendship either; he just liked
putting Db in a scissors hold and making him cry. Db didn't
mind so muchÉ any excuse to get close to him, he figured.
It only got awkward when Scott's mother came up to Scott's
room and confronted him.

"Why do you like to watch my son undress, Db. Are you a
fruitcake?"
Db: "I've just never seen someone with so many muscles
before."
For fun Scott made Db call up his friends (pretending to be
gay) and with an affected lisp had him read passages from
his Mom's dirty books over the phone.

(É"As the chisel-jawed deputy undressed me desire coursed
through my veins.
ÉI wrapped my hand around his engorged member and fainted
in his sinewy arms.")
The kid on the receiving end of the phone: "Hey you guys,
come here... there's a fag on the phone!!!... You're a fag,
buddy."
Db: "How clichŽ!"
Db played along. But after he hung up he felt worse about
himself.

Db joined the Boy Scouts when he was almost ten. Surely,
he'd make friends in the Scouts, he reasoned. He soon
discovered that if he wanted to be yelled at, and told what
to do, he could have just as easily stayed home.
"Pledge allegiance to the flag!"É "Pick up that garbage by
the side of the road!"É"Get those frogs out of that
canteen!" When Db didn't do what he was told, the patrol
leader would tell some "hard guy" to punch him in the arm.
Db: "Ow!" To add insult to injury, Db had to wear his dorky
scout uniform on the way home from Scouts and there was
always some kid, who Db had never seen before in his life,
that would ride by on his bike, flick his cigarette at him,
and call him a fag. Db was mad, but what was he going to
yell back, "You're a stone-cold fox!"?
Troop meetings at the church were a joke. For fun the older
scouts of Troop 22 chased each other around the playground
with a nail gun. Db eventually made friends with a new boy
in his patrol named Turtle. They laughed, tied knots, and
made a game of sitting on each other's hard-ons. Db knew
Turtle liked him, although he was afraid his like, and
Turtle's like, weren't the same kind of like.

Then came the big trip to Rifle River. Db thought about an
adventure of a different kind. In his head floated images
so divine; he imagined himself and Turtle with wings
floating above heart-shaped clouds together.
When they got to the campsite the roar of the river could
be heard in the distance. The roar in Db's heart was much
closer to home. In a rush of excitement everyone grabbed a
tube, headed for the water, made a splash, and soon the
current carried them off toward a juggernaut of rocks.  It
was worse than dodge ball. What kind of a sadistic creep
thought it was a good idea to put kids in a tire and send
them down the rapids? Db hadn't been so banged up since the
time his brother smacked him in the scrotum with a package
of tollhouse cookies.

When they got back Db and Turtle took a walk in the woods.
Db thought his heart was going to explode. It felt like he
was being eaten alive by fire ants. Lust ignited, he
thought about wrestling Turtle to the ground and planting
one on him; but he worried about starting a fire, because
that's what happens with kindling, he reasoned. Db was
pitching a tent, and not the kind you get a merit badge
for.
Turtle gave him a quick peck on the cheek.
"Did you just kiss me?" Db panicked. He was taken by
surprise is all.
Turtle looked like he was going to cry.

Suddenly, Db was hit in the chest with a suction-cup arrow
as they came under attack by boys in their troop playing
cowboys and Indians.
"Fems!...Get 'em!"

Db and Turtle ran back to the safety of camp and one of the
boys told on them.
The scoutmaster took Db and Turtle aside and told them they
were no longer welcome in the Boy Scouts of America. Db was
mortified, but he was mad too. He wished they could go to
the top of Bear Mountain and publicly declare their love,
haters be damned.

"We're here! We're queer! We're Ten. Get used to it!" But
it was 1972...The honeymoon would have to wait. Visual: (Db
heart turtle) carved into tree, spit in half by lightening.

When Db entered the 6th grade he soon learned the coolest
thing to do was to hitchhike. It never dawned on Db that
something could happen until the day a boy in his class was
molested. The victim was a kid named Hunter who used to put
wires up his sleeves and pretend he was the six million
dollar man.
Hunter pulled Db and his friends to the side.
"GuysÉ come here, I wanna tell you what happenedÉ This guy
picked me up and made me take my pants off. Then he put ice
down my underpants. I almost froze my balls off!"
Luckily he had the presence of mind to jump out of the car
when it came to a stop. An announcement echoed over the PA
at school. "Stranger, Danger". The way the teachers were
talking about it made it sound like some kind of murder was
going on. But if you asked Db it sounded like fun. So he
figured he'd try to get himself molested and see what all
the fuss was about. DB stuck his thumb out and smiled in
anticipation of events to follow. The man wasn't smiling.
As it turned out, he was a school administrator.

"What the hell are you doing hitchhiking after what
happened?É Stupid kids!"
Db thought: "Why did this stupid guy have to pick me up?
How come Hunter had all the luck?"

He was back at it a week later. This time an old guy picked
him up, but he was more interested in the concerto on his
radio than the young boy in the seat next to him. It was
clear to Db that if he was going to get some, he'd have to
lay his cards on the table.
Db with legs spread: "Aren't you gonna try something?"
Man: "Give me your hand."
The man grabbed the back of Db's hand: Thwak!
Db started balling.
"You've been tampered with, haven't you?"..."Sit up
straight... You're slouching."... "Dirty little queer!...
I've got no time for faggots!" The angry man scolded.
The man drove Db to Church and pushed him out of the car.
"Don't kid yourself! Hell is hot, hot, hot! You need to
start to walk according to the bible. Maybe God will save
you from Homosexual Demon Possession and Lust." The car
sped off as a crying Db climbed up the steps of the church.
The man in the car could be heard yelling "...Get behind
me, Satan!"

No surprise Db's priest considered homosexuality a mortal
sin and made him go home and pray for forgiveness.
That evening Db kneeled and prayed at his bedside.
"Hail Mary, full of gays"É
He asked God to turn him straight and went to bed. In Db's
nightmare appeared a demon that got into a wrestling match
with Jesus. "Give me the Angel Love-child!" The demon
demanded.
Db woke up in a cold sweat and ate 4 Devil Dogs before
going back to sleep.

It was the summer of '73 when Db turned 12. Db wanted to go
to the pool but his swimsuit had seen better days. "Dad,
Can I have a new swimsuit?" Db held up his suit with a
sizable hole and his finger sticking through it. "No, give
it to your Mom, she'll mend it." His dad growled.
Unfortunately, Mrs. Bradley's sewing left something to be
desired. The next day at the pool Db found himself standing
on the diving board with one testicle hanging out of his
Speedos. He picked a hell of a time for his balls to drop.
"Nice swimsuit, gonad!" a bunch of boys laughed.
Once home, like a bad reenactment of Leave it to Beaver, he
looked to his father for answers.

"Dad, what's a gonad?"
ÉHis father laughed himself silly. Faux pas were all part
of growing up, his mother told him. Db didn't know what "Fo
Paws" were, but vowed to stay away from them.
Almost 13, Db was spent much of his time oblivious to his
own beauty, unaware of how the sun radiating off of him
complimented his Coltish, lithe, figure; or how his jet
black hair which partially covered his eyes stood in
contrast to his cherry red lips, accentuated by a deep
summer tan.

Bored beyond comprehension on a hot day Db walked down to
the lake several blocks from his house wearing his newly
mended swimsuit. He was reminded that when he was little
his mother warned him not to swim in the lake. It was lousy
with Sea Monsters, supposedly. He found a TV antenna
sticking out of the water, but no signs of Nelly. Db
wandered into the murky water until he could barely stand.


After a bit, a man of twenty years of age, or so, swam
towards him holding a beach ball. He had long sideburns, a
moustache, and reminded him of Mark Spitz aside from
excessive stubble. "Wanna play ball?" The man asked.
A red flag, to be sure, but Db was just happy to have
someone pay attention to him.
"Try to swim between my legs before I can close them." The
man said. Db soon found himself under the murky water
brushing up against the man's hairy legs.
The man scooped him up and propped the boy up on his knee.
"Gotcha!"
Db: "What are you doing?" Db asked. As the man's hands
roamed the boy's body.
"Something fun." The man said, as he groped him.

It was a good thing Db's mom sewed up his swimsuit better
this time or the man would have been privy to some fairly
accessible gonads. Honestly, DB didn't think getting felt-
up was such a big deal. Hadn't he wanted this? But once the
guy undid the knot in Db's suit, alarm bells went off in
his head.
DB's first reaction was to try to worm free, but the guy
held on to him, so DB gave up and let him have his jollies.
At this point he had the boy where he wanted him and he
slid the youngster's swimsuit down his thighs. "Oh, yeah!"
Db heard the man blurt out.
Db couldn't wrap his head around what was happening, but it
kinda felt good to have fingers other than his own wrapped
around his dick.
"I'm sorry." Db apologized. "Sorry for what?" The man
asked, as he continued to play with the boy's privates.
"I got a boner. I can't help it." Db blushed. The man
chuckled. Then, if it couldn't get any more strange, he
kissed the boy's neck and his earlobe, and moved in for the
kill. Db was shocked. "That's his tongue in my mouth. He's
Frenching me!" It was so weirdÉ He had hair on his face. It
was like kissing Chewbacca! But his mouth was warm. Db kind
of liked it. He had found something he was good at. He was
a good kisser, he decided.
Db felt himself melt in the man's arms. He'd never
experienced the physical stimulation of a man's touch this
way and it felt good to give in. "Oh, baby!... That's
perfect." The man muttered. It was then Db felt something
press against his backside. "What is that?... Is that your
ding dong?" Db asked nervously. The man chuckled again,
took Db's hand, and made him hold it. "Gross!" Db yelped.
The fleshy appendage was hard, huge, and weighed a ton.
"That's no pencil dick, baby boy. That's my cock. It's not
gross. It likes you. Can't you tell how much it likes you?"
DB lowered his eyelids and felt the end of it before taking
his hand away. It pulsed at his touch and struck him as
being the size of a strawberry his mother reserved for
guests.

The man managed to wrestle Db's bathing suit off. "Hey!" Db
objected. "I'm naked!" The man removed his own swimsuit.
"Even Steven." He said, before going back to massaging the
area between Db's legs, or more specifically, his perineum.

Db didn't know what the man wanted, but he didn't want to
find out. "Let me go. It's getting weird." Db begged. Of
course, all the man cared about was his own gratification,
and mumbled something about his ass being so tight he
couldn't find his pucker. Next thing Db knew, the man was
rubbing his throbbing cock back and forth along his crack.

"Don't!" The boy let out a terrified yelp as he wiggled and
wrestled his way out of the man's grasp and managed to swim
away.
"Come back with your friends!" the man yelled. "Ok!" Db
lied. "Stupid queer, I don't have any friends!" Db said to
himself.
Of course, there's no excuse for child abuse and the scar's
that it leaves behind. 12 and na•ve, Db sat up in bed later
that evening with a head filled with questions. "I kissed a
man! This was a man who had feelings for me. If he was
going to put his hands on me... That was o.k., wasn't it?
Would it have been o.k. if I didn't tell him No?"

Before falling asleep Db played with himself as he recalled
the feeling of having the man's tongue in his mouth,
untying his suit, pushing it down, the girth of his cock,
and the frottage that followed. "Oh, baby!... That's
perfect." Db moaned as he released a drizzle of his amateur
seed onto his slender stomach.

The next day the young boy headed toward the lake hoping
for a second chance when another man approached him.
"Hi!" He said with a big smile.
..."It's o.k., I'm a cop."

Db didn't like the looks of the guy. He had a scruffy beard
and tattoos. He looked more like an escaped convict than a
policeman.
"You wanna see my badge?" The man opened the trunk of his
car. Db looked in the trunk cautiously.
In it he found a walkie-talkie, a badge, some duct tape,
and pair of handcuffs meticulously placed on a blanket. The
badge looked fake but the handcuffs looked real enough.
Db wanted to run away. But more than anything he wanted to
be wanted. Db went for broke.
Db: Wanna go to the pool?"
Man: Sure!

A racing thought occurred to Db at that moment. He pictured
the religious man in the car issuing a stern warning. "It's
hot out. The devil is near."
The man grabbed his camera and they walked toward the city
park and bought an ice cream along the way.

"You wanna cone?"...The man asked.
"Sure!" Db said, all happy.
"Geez, inhale it why don't cha!" The man laughed.
"...I bet you can fit your entire fist down your throat."
Db almost could, which won high praise from his escort.
Db waived his pass at the oblivious security guard and they
headed for the pool. Db dove right in. Then it got really
weird. The guy made Db pose for pictures on the swim
ladder.

"Put your hands behind your head!"
"Like Adam-12?" Db volunteered.
"Ha-ha, that's it!..."Now get in the pool and spread 'em!"

Db laughed at this. The hairy man wrapped his arms around
him like a Grizzly and frisked him.
"I'm going to need to see a permit for this thing."
Db didn't know why he was so popular lately. Maybe it had
something to do with hitting puberty.

..."Do they have nude showers here?" The man asked without
thinking.
Terrified, Db made a made a run for it.
"Where 'ya going?"
The guy was kinda ugly, and strange, and Db didn't want to
end up on a milk carton.

A couple days later Db went back to the lake. There was a
commotion going on. Db tried to see past the group of
heads.
People: "What'd he do?"
"He's a pervert... Touched some kid."
The man who kissed him and felt him up was being arrested
by the police. Real police.
Db nervously sped off on his 5 speed, happy he didn't get
caught, blind to his torrent of near misses.
Db could have disappeared and no one would have ever seen
him again. Nobody ever explained to him that these things
happen right under our noses.