Date: Sat, 2 Oct 2004 10:41:51 -0700 (PDT) From: Thomas-Alexander Kind Subject: Mihai-01 'The truth is out there!' And now here as well, as this is true and not all that long ago...or maybe too long ago! No disclaimer, as the ones that hold the power do what they want anyhow. Everybody else does not need one. Storycode:M/b Mihai-01 A small brown frame containing a picture of doors open to a patio beyond, green treetops in the distance. It travels with me in the bag I sling over my shoulder when I am leaving one place for another. The sun is shining in that photograph, the treetops are green and I remember the warmth of the day pushing at me, as I walk out onto that patio. It is in the center of this old, broken city. Three stories above the street, which shimmers in the heat. * In the morning, I make coffee and sit on the small wall of stone, looking out into the street below, and the treetops across. Waiting for my lazy little boy to be woken up by the sun slowly creeping through the blinds and settling on his shoulder-blades. The lopsided smile on his lips as he is dreaming his morning dreams, which, together with the Cola the night before, make his penis hard and unruly. I sit at the desk now, clicking away on letters to friends, while indulging in yet another cup of coffee. * Taking small breaks and shuffling across the sun-drenched deck with the heat of the late morning pushing against my chest, from my desk to the kitchen, I set the table and ready the breakfast. Never will I be able to tell, how much I enjoy this task...not to him at least... as I don't want him to think I indulge him any more than I do already. Letting him sleep late, just because he was watching television until all hours and than,.... Well he did wake me up, by jumping on the bed.!!! Sliding his skinny naked body close to mine, wrapping his hands around me and pushing his leg between mine. Kissing my neck where he laid his head and breathing into my ear. How can I go on sleeping, when my boy is still very much awake and talks and talks until I seal his mouth with mine and tease his penis into the steely hardness that we both enjoy. His kisses, getting a little more desperate for more and his wiggling body under my stroking hands telling me that our love needs expression. Until we are both slick with sweat and out of breath. Close as can be, falling asleep,... inside we are bobbing like small boats in a safe harbour. Through a storm of our own making we have reached the beach.! * There is a tall glass of cold milk, ... a bowl of sugar cereal,... fruit and yogurt. A small glass of juice made from vitamin-tablets... two of them, but he has gotten to like the taste. Coffee for me. And now the sweet task of rousing the beauty still hiding under the blankets. A soft call of his name...MIHAI...a soft stroking of his bare chest, sitting beside him. This gets me a lap full of sleepy head...trying to stave off the inevitable. So I stroke his back, and tickle his sides... until a few pearls of laughter are rolling out from his lips. Pushing me away, playful like,...though he quickly checks if I am upset or not... and jumps out of bed in one leap, with his stiff penis flopping in front of him... pointing the way to the bathroom. * It is my turn to sigh, ..and trot back to the kitchen, my head in the clouds,... thanking the gods for another day with him. A noisy pee, a vigorous brush of teeth,.. a slipping on of shorts... and padding of bare feet into the kitchen. A hug from behind and a Colgate-Kiss. Than ravenous boy, devouring everything in sight.! I love watching him eat.... get moist eyes thinking about all the times before,..where I was not there to feed him...and than my reward.. 'Thank You' in English and a lingering, milky kiss.... before he asks for a smoke and to watch TV. Some Street-Boy habits are hard to break... smoking is one of them. * Out in the sun.. on the deck,.. we talk about his plans for the day. He wants to stay and watch TV...no way.! I want him to go and swim in the river or some pool...go OUT. I know that OUT is not only friendly... OUT is street, is making do, making compromises...! So we settle on him taking his bike and rolling off to visit mother and siblings. They live in a flat in the Center, no running water, no Toilet, one room has most of the roof caved in... no windows. He takes his allowance from the box, that is his. The key hangs on a small gold chain around his neck....if my mother knew who the chain had been given to, she may not have given it so freely...! He will give all of the money to his mother. I hope his older brother is not home, because otherwise it will be him, that shakes the money out of Mihai and will take it to the next bar. More than once Mihai has returned, much too early, from one of his visits. Tears in his eyes and bruises on his body. It is his world, to which I have no access,... nor do I really want to. I just want him to be safe, not to hurt... to come back. * So I watch from the deck, as he climbs on his bike...a quick wave to me and he races off into the traffic. I am worried already, but this is his town,... he will have to make it here. His small backpack on his back.... I know he has taken toys with him...he does not want me to know, really,. thinking he might upset me, if he shares the toys I gave him with his brother and little nephew. There are oranges in his bag, and sweets...of which he owns a whole cupboard full. I fill the cupboard, he takes from it what he needs.... he has come to trust that the magical cupboard fills itself.! A first he emptied it almost daily,... now he usually only shares one chocolate-bar with me, when we are curled up on the sofa together...me snoozing, him watching some type of horror on TV. * As he rounds the corner and I go back to my desk,.. I can feel the emptiness, that settles around me. Already I loneliness licking at the edges of my mind, that hungry animal that I fed from my flesh for so long and that is now eagerly stalking me. It knows that there will be a time again, when it's starvation will be over. When I am willfully tearing myself apart and feed it endless delicacies. But not today,.. because tonight I will be, impatiently waiting, sitting on the wall on the deck, will be looking over onto the street down to the corner, where my boy will appear. Always too late for me, but in full racing speed, the 15 gears can manage.. hair plastered to his forehead, breaking dramatically in front of the house. Smiling up to me.... He knows I will be there watching from over the wall... and than into the elevator...into the open door of the apartment. Gushing a stream of words... much too fast for me to understand the little I do understand... but that is not important to me...he parks his bike in the hall, ignores me standing there... drops his backpack into the kitchen... drinks a whole glass of milk from the fridge...dances up to me and jumps up,... knowing that I will catch him. Clasps his arms around my neck and locks eyes with me. Rubs his sweaty cheeks to me... he smells intoxicatingly of hot boy....and smooches a kiss on me that tells me he is home! TAK