Date: Thu, 14 Oct 2010 22:39:36 -0500
From: Justin Melikes <justinmelikes@gmail.com>
Subject: Mike and Me - The Story Of A Single Gay Father

This material, as is all of my works, copy right protected. This story
may NOT be sold, copied, or added to any collection without the
express written consent of the author. Any and all copy right
infringements will be perused to the full extent of the law.

All of the usual disclaimers apply to this story. This is a work of
fiction, it does portray consenting sexual acts between a teen boy and
an adult man. If this is upsetting to you please stop here. If you are
not of legal age in your country please close this page. Please feel
free to send me an email with your feelings on the story, good or bad,
I welcome all comments! justinmelikes@gmail.com.

I would like to thank each and every one of you that wrote to me
proclaiming your enjoyment of the story thus far. I tried very hard to
respond to each and every email, but if by some chance I missed one
please accept my most sincere apologies.

Mike and Me
The Story Of A Single Gay Father

It had been three years since I had lost the love of my life, James.
He has been the very reason for my heart to beat, and now he was gone.
It had taken a very long time to move past the pain, if I'm totally
honest the pain has never really left, it just got easier to deal
with, easier to live with. Living was something I had no intention of
doing after he died, but in the end he once again won out, he would
have wanted to live, to fulfill all of my dreams, to make his dreams
come true as well.

I was not back on the dating scene again, as bad as this might sound,
when the `need' arose there was a beautiful man there to take care of
it, never asking for anything in return, as in an official
relationship, he was content with being there for me, in any way I
needed him to be, even if that included a lover of the day situation.
At the time it made sense to me, even when one is in mourning certain
needs arise after a while, needs that must be met or we go insane.

After three years of more or less solitude I was feeling ready to at
least join the living world again. My life had been finishing high
school, and working on getting into college, something that James
wanted me to do. My life consisted of going to classes then going home
to shut the door, the blinds and myself away from the world. It was
hard for me to understand how the world could still be moving forward
when it had been created just for him, and now he was gone. I had made
a few friends, friends that seemed to understand what I was dealing
with and didn't often push me to do things that I didn't feel up too.

Friday came around, but this weekend I was not going home as usual, I
would be staying in town, not totally unheard of, but not something
that happened a lot either. My parents were going to be out of town
and I just didn't want to face that big ole house alone, so my plan
was to stay in, watch some movies, do some home work, study, all the
boring things that come from someone with no social life. My friend
Ron had different ideas. Seems there was to be a party at another
friend of ours house that weekend, and Ron was taking no for an
answer, he seemed to be under the impression that it was time for me
to get out of the house for a bit, he was right. My first steps back
into life were shaky, uncertain, confusing, painful, but I relented
and agreed to go, even if it was against my better judgment.

Ron arrived at 7:00 to pick me up, right on time as usual, I met him
at the door, dressed to kill, even though I really didn't know why I
took so much time to pick out the right outfit, and I was a bit
confused by the butterflies in my stomach, but I walked out and got in
his car, resigned to my fate this night. Once at the party things were
going ok, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, a few jokes about
the hermit being out in public, but it was all in good fun, and I must
admit that it felt good to laugh again, really laugh, not a fake laugh
to make those around me less uncomfortable. I had a few drinks,
something I hadn't done in a very long time, so it didn't take many
and I was totally trashed, the music was hypnotic and I just gave in
to the primal urges that were leading me to the dance floor (Cleared
out living room..LOL) and just let me body do as it pleased. I had
been a great dancer when James was alive, we both loved to dance, and
were both very good at it, but I hadn't danced since he died, it
always seemed wrong to dance without him, but tonight I just let it
happen, just let go, it was the first time in 3 years that I had been
able to totally let go and just live.

I danced with several people, guys and girls, everyone knew I was gay,
it was no big deal with my friends, and the girls felt safe dancing
with me, at least my hands wouldn't be trying to get in their shirts
or pants. The guys that danced with me did so in hopes of being the
one that finally got me to relent and give them what they wanted, that
was not to be, not this night. The last dance of the night came at
about 3:00A.M I was dancing with a girl that I had met at school, but
didn't really know her that well, but she was a good dancer so I was
really enjoying myself.

She did something unexpected about half way through the song, she
reached down and grabbed my crotch. I gently removed her hand, telling
her that I'm 100% pure homosexual, there was absolutely zero
possibility of that happening. "I know that you are gay David, but I'm
sure I can make you see the error of your ways. Do you know that you
are by far the hottest guy at this party?" I blushed at her
forwardness; I was accustomed to guys being upfront like this, but not
girl.

"Thank you, but seriously, I'm gay. " Was all I could manage to get
out before she was kissing me. It wasn't as bad as I had always
thought it would be. Being very inebriated and very horny, I felt my
cock rising, this fact alone was enough to shock me into nearly
fainting. A woman was kissing me, I was allowing it, and I was even
getting hard. So I thought, `what the hell, might as well try it at
least once, see what all those straight boys are raving about.' So I
kissed her back.

She pulled back and smiled at me, "I see I have your attention?" her
smile was warming, she was serious, she wanted to sleep with me, an
out open gay man, it struck me as strange, but what the hell, just go
with it.

"Yeah, you have my attention. Your Place or mine?" it sounded a bit
cliché, but it was what I had at the moment.

"Your place, I live with two roommates, not much in the way of privacy
at my place. Oh, please tell me don't live with your parents?"

"Well, I live in my parents' house, but they live about six hours
away, so privacy is assured at my place. Besides, the reason I'm even
here is they are in Europe for a few weeks, otherwise I would be at
home this weekend." I took her hand and started walking toward the
door, then it occurred to me that I had ridden with Ron, my car was at
home. For some reason, the idea that anyone knowing that I was leaving
with a girl was a bit embarrassing, so I didn't want to ride home with
Ron, with her in tow. "Damn!" I said, unintentionally.

"What is it?"

"I rode here with my friend Ron, my car is at the house." I stopped
before I indicated that she would be a embarrassment if anyone found
out I took a girl home.

"No problem, I drove myself tonight, you can drive us to your place."
She reached in her purse, fished out her keys and tossed them to me.
"It's the black Saturn." She smiled at me again. "I'll show you." We
walked out the door, no longer holding hands, making small talk, you
know, that small talk that we all have to endure while we are trying
to close the deal? That talk that we all wish we could just skip and
get right to the main event. I followed close behind as she lead the
way to where she had parked her car, finding the car we got in and I
drove us to my house.

I drove up the security gate and pushed in the code to open the gate,
slowly it started to slide open, allowing admittance. "Nice house, I
had no idea where you lived, and close to the campus as well." She was
looking out of the window as we drove up.

"Thanks, and yes, it's great living so close to campus, most days I
just ride my bike to class, I love it. " I pulled up to the garage and
parked in front of the door closest the door, got out, walked around
and opened her door for her. It was at this point that it started to
sink in that I was going to take a woman to bed, a woman that I didn't
even really know, the very first female of my life, I started to get
nervous, a palms sweaty. Suddenly something occurred to me, what if,
after all of this, I couldn't get it up for her? I took her hand and
led her to the back door, then into the kitchen, where she turned me
around and planted a deep kiss on me, once again my cock reacted to
her advances. She was pulling my shirt over my head as she was kissing
me, revealing my smooth chest and stomach, the kiss was broken just
long enough for my shirt to pass over my head then we were back at it
again.

I was intrigued by how aroused I was, women had never appealed to me
before, in fact, until this very moment the idea of having sex with a
female was totally appalling to me, but tonight I would cross that
line, I would find out if it was as gross as I had imagined I would
be. I pulled her shirt off as well, she was standing before now with
only her bra and panties, she had managed to drop her skirt at some
point, I hadn't noticed this, but it was now lying in a puddle on the
floor at her feet.

Ok, that's as far as I will go with that story line! It should be
obvious to all reading this that, considering that I do have a son,
the dirty dirty went down that night, I traded my homosexual badges
for those of a straight boy for one night. I will say this, it was
indeed as nasty as I had thought it would be, and it's something I am
not willing to repeat. I am once again firmly planted on the
homosexual side of the fence!

I won't call what I did that night a mistake, that would mean my son
is a mistake, and he has been the single most wonderful thing to have
ever entered my life. He is the very air that I breathe. I never
thought that having a child could be so magical, and until I looked
into his eyes for the first time I never understood what parents meant
when they would say they instantly fell in love with their children,
but I did fall instantly in love with him. He was the most perfect
creature I had ever seen.

Sorry, I digress. Two months after our little encounter, and her
finding out the next morning that her sexual prowess was not enough to
convert me to the dark side, out of the blue she called me, insisted
that we meet for coffee, she needed to talk to me about something. I
was intrigued by this, so promptly at 11:00AM I met her at a local
coffee house. After the obligatory kiss in the cheek and ordering my
favorite mix I looked over and noticed that she looked upset, worried,
almost in tears. "You asked for this meeting, what's up? And why do
you look so upset?" This might sound a bit crass but I really didn't
care, we only hooked up once, two months ago, and we haven't even
spoken since, so it's not like we were best friends or anything, she
was just held the distinction of being the first and only female I
would ever have sex with.

"David, there is something I need to tell you, and I'm not sure how to
say it." With that the tears started. Now, keep in mind that it had,
as afore mentioned, been 2 months since our misguided encounter, and
the idea of her being pregnant had never even entered my mind. I mean,
yeah, we didn't use a condom, but she did tell me that she was on the
pill, so a condom wouldn't be necessary. I was baffled by what she
could possibly have to tell me that would cause the water works, then
a thought entered my mind...'Oh my freaking God, she has an STD!" I was
sure that one encounter with a female had left me with a case of the
The Clap or something.

"Amanda, just say it." I was actually angry at this point. I wanted
her to just tell me what I she had given me so I could make my way to
my Dr's office and get it taken care of.

"David...I...I'm...I'm pregnant!" She was crying so hard that everyone in
the café was looking at us. Me still being upset, and not thinking
straight still had not put the proverbial two and two together.

My response was a bit harsh. "Congratulations, and who is the father?"
Still oblivious to the fact that it could be mine.

"It's yours! We are in this mess together and we have to figure out
what we are going to do!" she was practically screaming. I was
stunned, to say I was in shock would be an understatement, my chest
was tight, I couldn't breathe, I was suddenly sweating like a preacher
in a whore house.

"Wait just a second, back the fuck up! We were together two months ago
and you think it's mine? You said you were on the pill, and we only
did it once!" It was all starting to sink in, suddenly I felt sick to
my stomach! I got up and ran to the restroom, not even bothering to
say anything, there was no time. Something deep inside me told that
the timing was right, that it was indeed mine, my head was spinning, I
had no idea what to do.

I returned to the table to find her still sitting there, waiting for
me, had I expected her to just leave and this would be over? I don't
know, but part of me was not happy to see her still there, like she
was the proof that this was not just a bad dream, a nightmare in fact.
"Sorry Amanda."

"It's ok. Now, what are your thoughts on this situation?" Thoughts,
Was she serious? Did she really expect me to be able to form or
coherent thought at this point?

"Thoughts? I have no thoughts on this `situation', right now my head
is doing summer salts! And, incidentally so is my stomach. Obviously
you have had more time than me to process this `situation', what are
your thoughts on it?" I was trying to get my head back in the game, I
was suddenly unable to grasp anything in my head, all the thoughts and
emotions were all mixed up together, and I couldn't separate them.

"Look, I'm not asking you to marry me or anything, I think we have
adequately established that you are gay, and I am not compatible. I
think I want to have an abortion, I mean, neither of us are in a
position to raise a child. I've talked to my parents about it, they
don't like the idea, but they will not try to stop me. But I thought
that you deserved to at least know before I do it, to have your say in
it, considering that it is your baby." Her look was one of
resignation, determination.

"Honestly Amanda, I'm not sure I really wanted to know, but we can't
put that cat back in the bag now can we? Can you give me a few days to
think about it before you do anything? I just need some time to think,
and wrap my head around this."

"Yeah, sure David, I'm not planning to do it until Christmas break
anyway, you have a couple weeks. David, just keep in mind that we are
both sophomores, we both still have a long ways to go, and neither of
us want to drop out, and that's what would happen if I have it."

It? She said `it'. Not the `baby', but `it', for some reason that
upset me! I didn't understand why it upset me, but something inside me
rejected the idea that the baby was an `it'. "Ok, I'll call you in a
few days, thanks for letting me know." I got up, grabbed the check,
and headed for the counter to pay our bill. She was still sitting
there as I left the building, walked to my car and headed home. I
would be skipping my Friday classes, I was headed home, to my parents,
my dad would know what to say, they would help me make sense of this.

I picked up my phone and dialed the all too familiar number to my
mom's office. "Dr. Avery's office." It was Janet, she had been with my
mom for years, she would always make us, my little brother and I,
cookies when we would have to spend the day at her office.

"Hi Janet, its David, is my mom busy?" It was Thursday, she would have
a full roster today
.
"Hi David, she just went into her office to do some dictations, let me
transfer you." Ah, elevator music to indicate that was now on hold
while Janet, undoubtedly, told my mom she had a call and who it was.

"David, this is a surprise, shouldn't you be in class?" How well she
knew me, that statement let me know that she knew something was wrong,
and she was there to hear it, whatever it is.

"Actually yes, but I'm on my way home, I need to see you and dad
tonight, do you have plans? It's very important mom." I didn't need to
tell her that it was very important; she would understand that just
from the fact that I would be missing my Friday classes.

"We were going to go over to Don and Arlene's to play canasta for a
while, but we can cancel that. David, what's going on? You sound
terrible."

"I'll explain when I get there, just please, I need you both, so
please make sure dad is there too. I should be there in about 3 hours
or so."

"Of course son, we will both be there, are going to stop for dinner on
the way? Or should I cook something?" My mom was always cooking, she
once told me that her biggest joy was feeding her hungry men.

"I'm not going to stop, I can't eat right now anyway. Don't worry
about cooking anything special, I can just grab a sandwich when I get
there, see you in a few hours, I love you so much mom."

"I love you too son, more than you know. Come home, whatever this is
we will fix it together, all of us." I heard the click as she hung up
her phone, but I knew it wouldn't stay hung up for long, she would be
dialing my dad at this very moment, then having Janet clear her
schedule for the night and tomorrow.

As I drove I had time to think, I always found peace in the solitude
of a solitary road trip, it just always seemed to open things up in my
head, the music, the freedom, it worked its spell on me. A thought
suddenly occurred to me, one that I had never really entertained
before, one that would shake the very foundations of who I thought I
was, who I wanted to become, a thought that would turn my entire life
upside down. The idea of having children had never been something I
had paid much attention too. I am gay, I will NOT be having children
in the `traditional' way, that was a given in my life, until a couple
of hours ago, I was certain that I would never have children, and I
was ok with that. Until a couple of hours ago I didn't even want
children, until a couple of hours ago my life, as it was, made sense
to me. Now nothing made sense. How did I get myself into this mess?
What was I going to do about it? Could I let her abort the baby, my
baby? There were so many questions, and so few answers, but my parents
would have the answers I so desperately needed.
Then that one single thought appeared, `this is my child, probably the
only child I will ever have, can I let her take that away from me'?
Once again I had no answer. Yes, there was a moment when just letting
it go, letting her do what she wanted would have been easier, would
not complicate my life, but did I want an uncomplicated life? Or my
child? The thoughts swirled through my head all the way home, three
hours of driving had not done much to give me direction.

Two and a half hours later I pulled into the drive way, parked my spot
and smiled, I could see my brother's car in his spot, so he was home.
Was I ready to talk about this in front of him? He was, at that time,
almost 18 years old, and also a fully dedicated gay boy. Sometimes I
felt sorry for my dad, he had two sons and both turned out to be gay.
To his credit he never faltered when either of us came out to him, he
told us that as long as it was love he didn't care to whom that love
was directed, and he meant it, he has always been very proud of both
of us.

I cut the engine and just sat there for a few seconds, the one thing I
had not pondered in my solitude was how to tell them what was going
on. No doubt they would be shocked, I had no doubt that they would be
supportive of whatever decision I came too, but their astute advice
would be vital in the decision making process, for sure I could not
make a decision like this without their words of wisdom.

Taking a deep breath to steady my nerves I opened my car door and
stepped out, it dawned on me at that moment that I had not even gone
back to my house to pack a bag, I brought nothing with me, not even my
tooth brush. My only thought had been to get home to my parents, to
figure out how to get out of this mess, but now I wasn't sure I wanted
to be out of this mess, perhaps this was a blessing in disguise,
perhaps this was providence, perhaps the answer to a dream I didn't
even know I had. If nature were allowed to take it's course I would be
a father! Me! A father! The idea was unfathomable; it was not even
something I could let myself think about yet.

I walked through the door, the sight that met me was one that was
expected, yet unexpected, sitting on the sofa was my mother with my
father at her side, both of them smiling at me, sitting to their left
was my little brother, he too was smiling at me. I knew I was safe, I
knew that before this night was through we, as a family, would figure
out the next step, if there was a step to figure out. My mother was
the one to make the first move, she got up and walked up to me,
wrapping her arms around me, I always felt safe here, always felt safe
with her, with my family, they had always been the rock that grounded
me, they had stood by me through the darkest time of my life, and
never demanded anything from me other than what I wanted to give.
"Welcome home son." She said as she kissed me on the cheek. "It's good
to see you, now come tell us what's got you so upset."

We walked into the room hand in hand, my father got up and gave me the
same strong hug that he had always given me, a hug that always told me
that he was there to protect me, and he would protect me from all that
he could. I turned to see Aaron, my little brother, standing there
waiting his turn to give me a hug. Aaron and I had always been close,
much closer than most brothers, we were not only brothers, we are best
friends, and I knew beyond doubt that he would always be there for me,
and he knew that I would always be there for him as well.

I took a seat across from my parents, facing them, I needed to see
their facial reactions to what I was about to tell them. "Mom, Dad,
Aaron. I really don't know how to say this so I'm just going to say
it." I told them the story, skipping the obvious details, considering
her current condition they would assume what I didn't say. I told them
about Amanda, how I met her, the events that transpired that one
night, making sure to emphasis that it was a onetime thing and would
never be repeated with her, or any female for that matter. Their faces
told me that they were in shock, but I could see the wheels in my
dad's mind turning, he was formulating a plan, I knew that look
instantly, I'd seen it a million times.
"So she told me today that she's pregnant, two months along, and that
it's mine." I stopped to give them a few seconds to process what I had
just said. "Now, she also told me that she plans to abort the fetus
(fetus? Did I just say that?). She said she doesn't have time for a
baby right now, I guess she has a point." I stopped and sat back in
the chair suddenly exhausted.

After a few seconds my dad said. "Son, first let me say that we are in
shock that you would have...relations...with a female. However, that being
said, what's done can't be undone, what are you feelings on this?"
There it was again, my feelings, my thoughts, did I even have any?

"Dad I don't know what to think about it. I'll be honest, I never
planned on having kids, at least not in the traditional way. There is
a part of me that's screaming that I can't let her do this, I can't
let her have a abortion. This might sound silly, but this very well
could be my only shot at having a child of my own. At the same time I
realize that to do that would mean that I would have to give up
college, medical school, my life. Is it worth that? I don't know. The
more I think about this the more I want to keep the child, but I don't
have clue how to go about it, I mean how do I raise a child when I
don't even have a job? I can't support him (I was saying him from the
beginning) on my trust forever. I have 6 years left to get my medical
degree, how can I do that and raise a child at the same time?"

It was mom that answered. "David, you an Aaron have been the greatest
joys of my life, you know this. If your heart says that you want to
keep the child then we will figure something out, we always do. You
don't have to give up your dreams to raise a child, but you do have to
commit yourself to it, it's not a weekend job son, its twenty four
hours a day. My only question is this, which voice is louder? The one
that says to keep it, or the one that says to let her go through with
the abortion and move on with your life?" There it was, time to make a
choice, time to own this, to make a decision that most men will have
to make in their lives, kids or no kids?

My dad sat up on the edge of the sofa. "Son, tell you what we all need
to do, we all need time to think about this, you more than any of us,
this decision will affect you for the rest of your life, which ever
decision you make.  Let's all get some rest; we will talk about this
more in the morning. Your mother and I have cleared our schedules for
tomorrow, so we have all day to talk about it." He was looking at me,
waiting for my response.

"You're right dad, I need time to think about this, it's been a rather
disturbing day, and I am exhausted." I got up and walked over to give
them both a hug and kiss then headed towards the stairs and the
promised sanctuary of my childhood room.