Mr Jones Neighborhood

Part 3

When we walk inside I see a man selling tickets.

"I need four adults and 2 children please." I tell him.

He tells me how much and I pay him.

We walk in and I see some people are here and sitting in the bleachers. I look at them and think maybe I didn't think this through all the way. Ah fuck it I just took a pain pill I will be fine. But all the activity I have had today has really made me feel pretty sore. You wouldn't think it. I don't think I have done that much. But I did get shot. So I don't really know what to expect seeing as how I have never been shot before. Hopefully this is a one time thing. I don't care or a repeat performance of this shit. No sirree Bob.

I see a row of seats on the first row. Looks perfect for me. I felt the stairs when I went up them earlier and I'm not really wanting to do that without any reason if I don't have to. I'm starting to feel kind of bad. I'm thinking of having Nikki run me home when Grant walks up to me smiling his hand out. I shake it.

"Glad you could make it Mr Jones. Jason is going to be excited when he sees you."
"I still don't understand your sons interest in me."
"He likes what you do and thinks its so cool."
I sit down and grimace when I do. Oh boy this is too much I think. The pain becomes tolerable after a few seconds that feel like eons. You know why isn't the snooze alarm that long? We chat a couple minutes and I see Dee and hers walk in followed by Quinton, Mitchell Shay and Sharne. I hear it before I see it but here comes Winston racing across the basketball court screaming.

"MR JOOOOOOONNNEESSS!!!!"
Thank god the game hasn't started yet. The crowd notices and half of them laugh as this little fire plug races to me. I reach down and slip him up on my lap.

"Mr Jones I didn't know you was gonna be here." He says to me after he gives me a sloppy little boy kiss.

"Winston I came to see Grants son Jason play. This is Grant. He is a delivery driver for our restaurant.
"He brings fancy toast?"
"Yes he brings fancy toast."
Winston grins at Grant.

"I like you then."

"I'm glad you do." Grant answers chuckling.

The rest of them join us after walking all the way around unlike a little terror I love so much.

The teams come out and start warming up. I know which one is Jason because I have seen his picture. He is a cute little guy. Well not so little he is about 5 feet 5 inches of tall, scrawny, blonde haired, blue eyed boy.
He warms up and they go talk to the coach a minute then he comes over to his dad.

"Hi dad. I guess Mr Jones did come. This is so cool."

"I see you are wearing number 41. Are you going to play as hard as Dirk Nowitzki?" I ask him.

He giggles.

"No I will try to [lay as good as him."
"I didn't ask if you were going to play as well. I asked if you were going to play as hard? Only a few guys in the world can play that good. But its the effort he puts behind it that makes him great."

"Yeah you got to listen to Mr Jones questions careful. He is tricky sometimes." Tremay tells him.

"Well, I am going to try my hardest."
"That's all anyone can do." I tell him smiling.

He grins and races back over to the bench.

"Mr Jones how did you know that was Dirk Nowitzkis number. I ain't never seen you watch no basketball." Jamal asks me.

"I know lots of things you don't know I know." I say.

He looks at me and gives a confused nod. I'm not about to tell him that Grant told me that. Would take the fun out of it.

Grant is just smiling because when he told me I had to ask who the hell it was. I look at him and shrug.

After the first period Jason's team is up by 6 and I cant sit any longer I have to get up and walk a bit. I'm really hurting. I set Winston on his moms lap and go to the restroom. I head to the concession stand on the way back. I get ten popcorn's and sodas. I think that's right I cant really think right. I grab one of the Cokes and tear the plastic lid off and pull the pain medication bottle from my pocket and am fighting to get it open. My hands are shaking so bad I cant get it open.

"Honey you need some help?" The lady behind the counter asks.

"Please." I half beg her.

She takes the bottle from my hand and opens it.

"How many?"
"Two."

She shakes out two into my hand and I shove them in my mouth and drink some of the watered down Coke to swallow it.

She closes the bottle and hands it back to me.

"So what are they for?"
"Pain. I got shot last month."

"That cant be good."
"I wouldn't rate it high on my list of things to do if you aren't busy that's for sure."

She laughs, then asks me.

"How are you going to carry all this?"

"I hadn't really thought that far ahead."

She walks around and grabs the Cokes and puts them in a carrier and puts the popcorn in a box and we walk over and hand out the treats to all my friends here. I look and Grant doesn't have any.

"I missed one in counting."
"I'm fine thank you though." He says smiling at me.

"Sorry. I'm not thinking so well right now." I sit down and groan.

"You OK Mr Jones?" Tremay asks sounding worried.

"I will be fine." I manage to get out. I'm not too sure he believed me because he switched seats with Jamal and now hes talking to Nikki who is now looking at me.

The second period started and I'm trying to ignore them and watch the game. Jason makes a great rebound and puts it back up to score a basket. I think our section cheered him the loudest. But it could just be because they are closer to me. Every time Jason makes a good play our section cheers him on. He is grinning every time he hears us cheer. At half time Nikki walks over and stands in front of me.

"Do you want to go home?"

"I don't want to ruin everyone's fun."
"That's not what I asked you Gary."
I stand up and put my arm around her waist and walk her to the end of the bleachers.

"Sis I'm in a lot of pain. I think I fucked up. I want you to take me home. But, I just want you to come back. I want to tell everyone I got sleepy from the pain pills. Which is kind of true. Its just people have been worried about me enough. I don't want to add to it because I'm a fucking moron that thinks he can do anything."
"I'm OK with that."

We walk over to the group.

"Hey guys. I hope you are having fun."
Everyone nods and smiles.

"Look I took a few pain pills and I'm real tired now. I need to go home and get to bed. But I want everyone to stay here and have fun."
"Nu uh. I'm going with you Mr Jones." Tremay tells me.

"Me too." Jamal adds.

"No you guys stay here and have some fun. You got to stay and cheer Jason on and tell me later how he did. Besides you got to protect Juan."
"What? Why?"

"They never seen a Puerto Rican here that big before. They might start going after him with torches and shit like on Dr Frankenstein."
"Shut the fuck up Gary." Juan says laughing.

"You boys have fun. Aunt Nikki is going to run me home and come back and watch the rest of the game."
"You OK?" Tremay says looking at me close.

"I just need to lay down buddy."

Now I don't lie. I do need to lay down for sure. But the reason is I feel so fucking bad I want to scream out in pain. Man did I ever fuck up. Nikki and I get to the truck. I wasn't sure I was going to make it. But I didn't let on to her. I climb in the truck and wish I had a short car I could just plop into.

We drive in silence thankfully. I know she is thinking I told you so. But is nice enough to not say it yet. I know it will be coming though.

She pulls up to my house.

"You want me to keep the boys tonight?"
"Yes."

I go into the house and make it to the couch and lay down. I'm not about to try stairs right now. Oh I fucking hurt so bad. I turn on the TV for noise. I lay there and just think of how stupid I am. I guess I thought I was better than I really am. I knew I couldn't go back to work yet. But I thought just having fun would be OK.

I lay and think and stare at the clock until I can take more pills. 15 minutes before its time I take two more. I figure 15 minutes isn't so bad. Right?

But if I really look at it I have taken too many in the allotted time. But frankly Scarlet. You know.

I feel sleepy after they start taking effect and I find sleep happily. Or did I pass out? Don't know and don't care.

I wake up at 2;30 and the pain is ridiculous. I slowly walk to the kitchen and get some water and take two pills. I don't like this I am thinking. This is the worst its been. Even after I got shot it wasn't this bad. I'm so stupid I keep thinking. I go back to the couch and slip off my pants and lay back down and cover myself with a blanket we have over the back of the couch. I snuggle in and start watching an infomercial about spray on hair.

"Yeah that will work and no one will ever notice."

I roll my eyes. I understand why guys don't want to be bald. Thankfully I have most of my hair. It is certainly thinner then it was in my twenties. But its still mostly there. I have no desire to spray paint my head every day. Even if I was bald I wouldn't bother with that. It just seems stupid. I finally find enough comfort to fall back to sleep. I wake up with Jenny standing in front of me.

"You OK Mr Jones?"
"Sure why do you ask?' I say trying to mask the pain I'm in.

"Never seen you sleep on the couch before."
"I sleep on it all the time."

"During the day sure But not at night."

"So let me get up and I will get some breakfast ready for all of us." I say slowly putting the covers off of me."
"Mom said to ask you to come over for breakfast."

"I suppose I didn't die from being shot. I don't think your moms cooking will kill me."
She laughs.

"No she is getting stuff delivered."

"Thank god." I reply which makes Jenny laugh even harder.

She helps me put on my pants. I am pretty sure I could have done it myself. But not positive. She puts my new shoes on for me and ties them. I slowly get up and go to the kitchen and grab a glass of water and take 2 more pills. Its not so bad right now. But I'm sure if I wait it will kick my ass again. I'm not giving it a chance to do that again.

I'm thinking this really sucks bad. The doctor said it could take me up to a year to get back to normal. A fucking year is he crazy? I cant lay around for a year. A month was bad enough. Jenny has my camel hair coat and hands it to me. I like this coat. Its long and keeps my legs warmer. It was great in the city for sure. I slip it on and she buttons it for me.

"I think I can get buttons."
"I know." She says smiling and continues fastening them for me.

We walk over to their house and I see someone shoveled my walk. That was sure nice of them. We don't cut through the lawn like I would normally do. I cant see walking through a foot and a half of snow. Sidewalks are nice. We make it and I assure you it was not in any record time. Other than possibly the slowest time. Mr Green made it about twice as fast, and he was older than dirt. Jenny is being so sweet and holds my hand the entire time. It is starting to hit me that I got shot. I mean I knew I got shot. But I just didn't think about the effects it would have on me. I was thinking sure just get out of here go back to normal. You know like it never happened and I will be just fine. We walk in their door after what feels to me like the trail of tears. We get into their house and Dee walks out of the kitchen.

"How you feeling?" She asks me concern in her eyes. I don't like the look. It upsets me.

"I've felt better." I respond truthfully.

Jenny is unfastening my jacket and I slip it off my shoulders and she catches it and hangs it up. I sit down on the couch and before I could unlace my shoes Kenny is there on one and Jenny on the other. Both smiling as they help me. I feel like a fucking invalid. I don't like feeling like this. They slip my shoes off and put them by the door.

"Sorry I tracked snow in your house." I say feeling horrible about it.

"Not near as much as those two track in." She says laughing.

I smile and get up and walk into the kitchen and Dee takes my elbow as I walk in there. She helps me sit down too.

"Do I look that bad?" I ask her.

She just nods at me and sits in her chair.

I see by the clock on her microwave its 8am.

"I slept late."
"You are healing. You need to rest. Not run all over Gods creation watching basketball games." Dee says scolding me.

I just sigh feeling defeated.

"You want some coffee?" She asks me.

"Did you make it?"
"Yes." She says grinning.

"Then no. I'm good." I say half smiling.

Dee actually makes coffee pretty well. How she cant make scrambled eggs is a mystery to me. Her too for that matter. She gets me a cup and puts a bit of sugar in it for me and sits it in front of me. I fumble around looking for a pack of cigarettes. I cant find any.

"Jenny would you please get me my cigarettes from my coat pocket please." I know I don't want to get up until I need to go home. I hate to ask her but I want one and don't feel strong enough to get them. Maybe that would you know make me realize I don't need them. No such luck for me today. I'm an idiot. I thought this was a well established fact by now. A moment later she appears with them and hands me the package.

"Thank you princess." I tell her.

She smiles at me and leans and kisses my cheek.

"Momma said no hugs for a while. She don't want us to hurt you and she said you wouldn't never refuse one."
"How about a half a hug?"
She looks at me confused. I just pull her over to me and I put my arm around her and give a little squeeze. She puts her arms around me and doesn't squeeze. She just softly rubs her hands up and down my side.

"So I think those will be just fine. Didn't hurt at all."
"Better than nothing." She says and smiles.

"Yeah its nice for sure. I sure did miss you."
"We missed you too." She says to me.

I rub her tummy.

"You got skinny."
"She did not." Dee says laughing at me.

"Yeah nearly starved with momma cooking." Jenny says giggling.

"You did not." Dee says laughing harder now.

"Momma microwaves a mean lasagna now." Kenny says as he walks into the kitchen. Jenny is pulled away from me but still has one arm around me and I have one around her.

"I can make grits now too." She tells me.

"Really?" I ask not believing her.

"Yeah she don't burn them but every now and then now." Kenny says.

Now he has been the one that has made the most fun of Dee's cooking. Well, other than me. So she must be getting better if he is defending her.

"I guess we are making progress only took a year for you to make grits without burning them. Maybe by the time you retire we can add scrambled eggs."
"I don't know why they always burn." She says looking confused.

"I keep telling you the heats too high."

"My momma always did it the way I do."
"Burnt?"
"No but on a high heat."
"Its sure not working for you that way."
We hear a knock at the door. Jenny races to get it and returns with William following behind.

He grins at me.

"Hows that baby doing?"
"Shes great Mr Jones. Jenae stayed last night and helped with her. Shes going to be a good momma when she has babies."
"I bet she had a great time."
"Yeah we couldn't do anything for the baby. She wouldn't let us." William laughs as he tells me.

"There ya go. A babysitter when you guys want to go out and do something."

"Yeah never thought about that."
I tap my head with my index finger.

"This is more than a hat rack you know."

He gets the food out and on the table.

"So we deliver now?" I ask.

"No just to Mr Jones." William says seriously.

"Oh well I hope I'm not taking you from anything."
"No even if you was. I wouldn't care."

He takes off and we eat and enjoy each others company and the food.

When we get done eating Dee and I have another cup of coffee and a smoke and chat a few minutes. I haven't really been to her house often. Usually we meet at mine. I suppose its because I cook. I am thinking of Mr Green and how I almost went to be with him. I miss him. But I wold rather wait for a while yet before he and I are sitting on a porch together again. Wonder what that would be like. Would we both me like 20 in our bodies primes. Would there be children in heaven or is everyone like 20? Yeah I got to get off these pain meds. I think of weird shit usually but this is weird even for me.

"I need to get back home. I don't want to overdo it again today."
I no sooner say it then I have two little elves slipping on my shoes and tying them. I walk over to the door and slip my coat on and Jenny and Kenny work the buttons. This time I am escorted home by two elves instead of one. HM elves? Pain pills need to go. Sadly I still need them. I know I don't want to get addicted to the fucking things. But what are you supposed to do. Suffer through excruciating pain or risk addiction. Seems like there is a better option somewhere. Once we get in they unfasten my coat and unlace my shoes and slip them off of me. I'm really glad they did this because it hurts like fuck when I bend over.

I'm sitting on the couch.

"Mr Jones you need anything?"Jenny asks me.

"A Coke would be nice."
She smiles and races to get it. She comes back and opens it for me and sits it on the end table. They both head back home and I'm alone for the first time in a month. Well except last night when I was in too much pain to think. I think about that night. I know some people don't remember anything. But I remember every second until I passed out. I guess from shock or blood loss. I really have no idea. I relive the moment and play it backwards and forwards in my head. Its like the Zapruder footage in JFK back and forth. Slow mo forward and slo mo back. I still remember the coldness of the snowflakes as they fell on my face as I lay there dying. I remember seeing my boys. I smile as I think of them. Those are two of the finest boys in the country and I would fight anyone who said different. I decide when its time to take my pills to take 800mg of Ibuprofen and if I have pain in a while I will take some acetaminophen. I don't like codeine even if it does do what its supposed to do. I don't like how it clouds my brain and makes me feel fuzzy. Not like a teddy bear fuzzy but fuzzy in my body like slow or something. Its hard to explain I know I just don't like it. At 11 I text Nikki

I'm going to report my truck stolen and my boys kidnapped.

I wait a minute and get a reply.

Juan has the boys and your truck. He will be there in a while.

I smile and think of how great my life is. You know other than the getting shot part.

I'm coming up to help with lunch.

I get an almost immediate response.

The Hell you are.

I think a minute. I think about texting back. You're not the boss of me. But I think better of it.

The doctor said I could and I will be there if I have to walk.

I know her and her witchy ways. Trick me telling me Juan is coming and then wait until like 2 until he gets here.

You better fucking not.

I snap a pic of my shoes and send it. If she knew I was twenty feet from them and zoomed in she would laugh. Or hit me not sure which. Sisters are hard to figure out sometimes. OK women in general are hard to figure out. I don't understand why a vagina makes them think silly. But its kind of a funny word vagina. Frankly I'm tired of seeing adds for deodorant for vaginas. Its really not something I want to think about is stinky pussy. If I wanted to smell it I would go to the fish market. Yes pills need to go I think.

Within fifteen minutes I here my truck pull up. I know they will come in. Or so I hope I'm in no real hurry. I get up and grab my shoes and am slipping them on my feet when the boys and Juan walk in.

The boys are immediately at my side needing hugs. I'm not going to deny them something they and I both want. I give them quick hugs and they are tying my shoes after. I grab my coat and we walk out to the truck. Juan and his big ass self helps me into the truck. I'm glad hes a big fucker. We get to the restaurant. and I go to the kitchen to start helping plate up food for the children when they arrive. We have a heating cabinet full. Today's special is chicken tenders, mashed potatoes or fries. With a choice of green beans or carrots. Desert today is chocolate cake. A few minutes after I complete the task the children start strolling in. I start taking the plates of food out 4 at a time. I of course ask if they want fries or mashed. Most are going for mashed but a few choose fries. Not a problem at all. I go back and get more plates from the window and tell Michelle I need fries on a half a dozen. She does just that when I go back to get more. I see the others are being nice and letting me take care of the children. I'm laughing and joking with them of course as I hand out the food.

"What kind of key opens a banana?" I ask a group of younger ones.

They look at me and wait.

"A monKEY silly" They all giggle at my lame ass joke. But they do laugh.

I get done after a good two hours of children coming in and others getting done. I go grab a glass of water and sit down. Jenae walks in and sits next to me.

"You hungry punkin?"
She smiles.

"Be right back." I go and grab her a plate of food and bring it back.

"Thank you Mr Jones." She says to me when I sit down the plate and a Coke for her.

"You are welcome."

She eats and chats about her life. How much William has changed and for the better for sure. I listen and am answering when I'm supposed to. But my mind is elsewhere. I cant help but keep thinking about what would have happened if I did die. I know everything by law would go to Nikki. She is my only living relative that I know of. I also know she would have taken care of the boys. But that's just not sitting well with me anymore. I need to take care of things to make sure my boys are protected. Shay brings over a massive piece of cake for Jenae. Now I love all the children don't think I don't. Its just a few have a little special place in my heart. Like Jenae and everyone knows it and no one thinks badly of me for it. But she has spent a lot of nights at my house.

"Shay can you have Michelle make me a grilled cheese with tomatoes on it please?"
"You want fries?"
"No just that and a soda please."
"Sure thing Mr Jones."
"Wheres my buddy today?"
"Hes with his G ma." Is her reply.

Jenae finishes her cake I wipe her mouth a little better and she gives me hugs and kisses and is heading back home. I sit and enjoy my grilled cheese I know I shouldn't eat. Because the pain killers have me clogged up. I guess that's normal. I have no idea where in the world Jamal and Tremay went when we arrived. But I haven't seen them since we walked in the door. I finish my sandwich and walk over and grab my coat. I walk down the street three blocks and enter an office.

"I need to make out a will." I tell secretary.

"Sure when is good for you?"
"Now." I say grinning.

"Sorry cant help with that. She is out today."
"When is a good time to return?"
She looks through the appointments.

"How is Monday at around this time?"
"Sounds perfect to me. I will have everything in order when I return."
I decide its kind of nice and I'm already about halfway home. I just say fuck it and walk home. I walk in and take off my coat and just kick off my shoes. I will worry about it later. I never actually do that. But I am hurting and I just don't want to bend over. I decide I skipped one dose of codeine I don't think I want to again. I take one pill and some ibuprofen instead of two pills like I have been doing. I go to my little kitchen office and start working on a massive amount of work that has piled up. I send the first one back in fifteen minutes with a note explaining I as injured and was in the hospital and sorry it took so long to get it done. I work for a good hour or so and my phone vibrates.

Where the fuck are you at? Nikki texted me.

At home working. I have a lot to get caught up.

You could have told someone.

Sorry.

I put the phone down and ignore the next three pings I know are from her. I know she is probably bitching at me and frankly I don't want to hear it right now. After about 3 hours I get to a point I don't want to work on them anymore. I check my bank information and see I have around $40,000 put into the boys college fund. I need about 5 times that just in case they get accepted to an Ivy League school. With those two its not improbable. I have about 6 and a half years to be ready for it. But I also don't want it to sneak up on me.

I decide I feel icky and want to take a bath. I grab a soda from the fridge and head upstairs. I'm using the hand rail to help me up. I take one step at a time. Put one foot up and then the other. Then tackle the next step. Steps hurt. I wish I didn't have any at this time in my life. I turn on the water and get it a nice temperature and head to my room and strip as the tub fills up. I grab a towel on my way back and a pack of cigarettes that's on my nightstand. I light one and walk into the bathroom and get everything situated and climb in the tub. I lean back and the tub is fucking freezing. I hate that. But I also know it will soon be fine. I should invent a tub that has a little heater on the back part of it. Hey don't steal my idea unless you share some cash. Oh and hook me up with one. I lean back and just soak and feel the pain pill start to relax me. The pain I had is subsiding. Though its never really gone anymore. I wonder if that will always be the case. Or if it will eventually go away. I guess I will have to wait to find out. I soak in the tub a good half an hour and when the water is getting cool I wash quickly and do my hair.

I didn't plan this very well. I should have taken a shower because getting out of the tub was not an easy task. But I do it with a lot of grunting and groaning. I dry off and get on some sleeping pants and a t-shirt. I add socks because my feet are cold. I head back downstairs and stretch out on the couch and turn on a stupid movie. I start watching it and doze off.

I am woken from my fine slumber from my phone trilling on the coffee table. I groan as I reach to grab it.

" 'Lo?"
"Juan will be down to get you in a few minutes for supper." Nikki informs me.

"I'm not hungry."
"Yes you are."
"No I'm not. Stop telling me what I am am what I'm not."

"You promised to come to supper tonight."she reminds me.

"I just need to rest. Please don't give me a hard time."

"Alright. But Gary you are being really weird."
"I know. I got shot I think I have the right to be a little weird. Wouldn't you agree?"
"I suppose. Do you want Juan to bring the boys home after they eat."

"I need to rest. Can you keep them another night?"
"Gary I would keep them forever. Are you sure you are OK?"
"I will be. Its just going to take a lot longer than I thought."
"I'm sending Dee over to check on you."
"Please don't. I just want to be alone right now."
"Gary you are worrying me."
"Nikki I'm fine I swear. I just have to work some shit out."
"Alright. But I am still sending Dee over."
"I'm going to be sleeping. So if you want her to interrupt my rest you do that."
I hear a loud sigh coming from the phone.

"I will see you tomorrow Gary."
"Yes you will."
"Gary I love you."
"I know." I tell her and end the call like that.

She will know I am fine and messing with her.

I put the phone down and think I'm just want to be alone right now. I want my boys here too But I also don't at the same time. I love them more than anything. I just want to be alone. I need to think about everything. I need to plan and get things set up. I text Mitchell.

If you have time I need to talk to you. In person. Not a phone conversation at all.

I put the phone down and hobble into the kitchen and grab a soda. I take one codeine tablet and some Tylenol.
I sit on the couch and start watching some videos of the boys playing and having fun. Not like the kind you can get arrested for. But real videos of them playing. I watch for an hour or so. I am kind of hungry but not so much I really want to go get anything. I pull the tray of weed from its home and pack a bowl of weed. I am thinking last time I got high was that night. I feel a tinge of pain in my chest as I think about it. I hear a car pull in my driveway and a moment later I get up to answer the knock on my door.

"Mitchell and Quinton so good to see you two. Perfect timing." I say holding the pipe for them to see.

We sit down and smoke the bowl. Quinton goes and gets Mitchell and himself a soda from the fridge.

When we get done Mitchell gets to the point.

"So Mr Jones what did you need to see me about?"
"I don't even know if its possible. But if it is I know you would be able to do it."
"What do you want done?"
"A while back Tremay said he wished I could really be his dad legally. I would like to see that happen. I know that if I go through the regular way that there is no way in the world that could ever happen. Find a way for it to happen."
"I don't think it will be cheap Mr Jones. Whats wrong with how it is now?"
"You know the boys and they don't ask for much. I want to give him this so he can have peace of mind. Me too for that matter."
"I have a guy I think I can talk to. Give me a few days."
"Take your time."

We all talk a good hour and the men take off to do whatever they do. I find it interesting that those two spend more time together than two lovers. I know they love each other a lot. How could they not. They have been friends almost their entire lives.

After they leave I decide I'm hungry. OK starving. I half walk half limp into the kitchen. I look in the fridge and there is nothing. Of course there is nothing. Someone cleaned out my fridge to help me. I look though the cabinets and find some pop tarts. I look at them and think blech. I head back to the couch and flop down. I grab my phone and order a pizza from Pizza King. I just get cheese because I like it. I even order a salad. It sounds good and I could probably use the vitamins and minerals it gives me. In about 40 minutes I hear someone pull up. I give the guy some cash and take my grub. I sit on the couch and eat my salad and about 4 small slices of pizza. I still haven't gotten used to the Chicago cut. Still seems weird to me. But I don't really care anymore. I put the rest of the pizza in the fridge. Someone will eat it. I think a minute and text Dee.

I got a pizza. Want some? If so send over Kenny or Jenny to get it.

I wait and a minute later I get a text back.

Kenny is on the way.

A minute later he knocks on the door and I greet him with the box and a smile. He takes it and races back to their house.

I retake my spot on the couch and start to watch a show. I fall asleep halfway through. I wake up at around 2 and I am in some pain. But not terrible. I take a tablet and carefully climb upstairs to bed. I strip to nothing and decide that's good enough. I climb into bed and my cock is rock solid. I can smell the boys on the pillows and sheets and I start to have a nice wank. As I start getting worked up its starting to hurt having my jerk session. I want to cum but the pain isn't worth it I decide and stop. My cock wanting a release so badly. But my chest screaming stop it hurts too much. I sigh and roll on my side and find sleep eventually.

I wake up a bit before 8 and have to pee something fierce. I make my way to the restroom using the walls to help me not fall over. I am in a lot of pain again. I sit on the toilet because standing seems ridiculous to me at the time. I grab a tablet and a glass of water when I'm done and take the pain pill and drink the water.

I put on some sleeping pants and a t-shirt and head downstairs. I watch the morning news for a while and head to the kitchen to my "office" and start working on the numerous projects I have in my inbox. By noon I have a few more projects done. I am hungry but I have no desire to stop. I do stop and get more coffee and take a couple Tylenol's. Around three I stop and have to use the restroom anyway. I use the one downstairs because it seems stupid to walk upstairs if I don't have too. With the work I have completed in the past two days that adds another $1500 to the boys college funds. I know I need to eat but the pills just zap any desire to eat. I wish I had some bread. I would have toast. But its not worth the effort I think to get it. I don't even have my truck right now anyway. I'm sure not going to do home delivery for a loaf of bread that's for sure. I grab a pack of pop tarts and a Coke. Good enough I think and sit on the couch eating them. They taste like crap. I don't usually think much of them. But today they are just awful to me. I eat one and that's all I can stomach. Literally its turning my stomach. I am watching some stupid program and doze right off. I wake up because someone is pounding on my door.

"Who the fuck is banging on my door like the police!?!" I scream and go answer it.

Nikki is there.

"What the fuck Nikki?"
She races in.

"So now you don't answer your phone or texts? What the fuck Gary I have been worried sick."

Me still half asleep.

"I don't even know where my phone is. I think its upstairs."
"Jesus Christ Gary."
She heads upstairs and comes back down and hands me my phone. I'm sitting in my spot. I just put my phone on the couch next to me without bothering to look at it.

"Seriously Gary I thought you were laying here dead. I almost called the cops to check on you."
"Yeah and sometime next week they would have." I say joking about the lack of police presence in our neighborhood.

"You are so not funny."
"Sorry. I have just been working on some programs. I just didn't think about it. I am a grown man you know."
"Then fucking act like it."

Now I'm starting to get pissed.

"You come into my house and start screaming at me to grow up. You need to leave, and now." I say to her in my serious voice.

"Gary?"
"Get out, and don't come back." I stand up and start pushing her to the door.

"Gary we are worried about you."
"Shut up and get the fuck out."

I open the door and push her out onto the porch. I slam the door in her face. I start mumbling to myself.

"Come in here tell me how to be. I don't know who you think you are coming in here telling me what the fuck to do. I miss a few texts big fucking deal. Come in here telling me to grow up. Fuck you. Fucking always bothering me about stupid shit. I don't care if you ever come back. I cant believe I was excited you moved here. Go back to fucking New York." I am livid.

"Fucking tell me anything. Who the fuck you think you are? I don't need you. I don't need anyone. Fucking cunt."
Ten minutes later I hear a knock at the door.

"GO AWAY NIKKI!!!!!!!" I shout at the door.

Dee walks in.

"I'm not Nikki."
She takes off her coat and sits in the chair.

"You got a loaf of bread I can borrow?"
"Sure."
She doesn't say anything for a few minutes. She does however light a cigarette. Which looks like a good idea to me. So I follow suit and do the same. I grab my pills and take 2 and swallow them with some Coke.

"So I know Nikki sent you over. You can tell her to fuck off and not come back."
"You don't mean that."
"I sure fucking do. I wish she never moved here. Always in my business telling me what to do. Fuck her."

"You are just mad."
"I'm moving." I tell her and snuff out my cigarette and walk upstairs.

"I'm going to bed. Lock the door on the way out."
"I will have one of the children bring some bread over."
"Fuck the bread. I don't need it." I reply halfway up the stairs.
I hear the door close a minute later. I lay down on my bed and smell the boys on the pillows. I'm irritated and don't want to smell them. I get up and change the sheets and pillow cases. I even get a clean quilt and toss it on the bed. The sheets and other things lay in a heap in the corner. I think about the boys. I love them so much. But really they are better off with Nikki. At least she isn't fucking them. They can just be boys. I go to sleep mad.

I wake up in the night with pain and take a couple tablets and am back to sleep quickly. I wake up Monday morning the sun is shining into my room and its irritates me. Its shining in my eyes.

I amble downstairs and make some coffee and when its done pour a cup.

I walk into the living room and see my phone. I pick it up and see I have a ton of text messages.

I glance through them most of them from Nikki.

The last one reads.

I'm sorry Gary. I'm worried about you and the boys are too. They want to come home.

I text back to her.

Fuck off. They are better off with you and Juan.

I block her number from my phone after I send it.

I hurt a lot and say fuck it. I don't want any pills I deserve to hurt. I go into my office and work until around 5 working straight through only stopping to get more coffee. I still haven't taken any pain medication and I am in a lot of pain now. I deserve it I think.

I glance at my phone and there are literally 47 texts from Juan. OK from Nikki.

Really you blocked me? The first one read. I just delete the rest and block Juan's number. I'm not going to be hassled.

I see texts from William and Shelitha as well as Dee and everyone else it seems. I walk to the front door and open it. I chuck my phone out the door into the snow. I lock the door back and go back to my spot on the couch.

"Fuck everyone. Why cant they just leave me alone? I should have just died." I say to no one.

A while later someone knocks on my door.

"GO AWAY!!!!!!!!" I scream without getting up.

The knocking continues and I ignore it. After 5 minutes it stops.

"Good. Maybe they will get the hint I don't want to be bothered."
I realize I missed the lawyers appointment.

"Fuck."

I start to grab my phone to call the real estate guy and remember its in the snow somewhere.

"Fuck."

I go to my "office" and pull up the real estate guys information. I email him and tell him I want to list my house. I tell him I lost my phone and email anything he wants to talk about.

I'm so tired. I am just so worn out from life. I look in the fridge and see nothing. Unless you count condiments.

"Fuck it. I'm not hungry anyway." I slam the door shut.

"FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I scream at the top of my lungs.

I'm just so tired of everything. Some one is knocking on my door. OK banging on my door. I go and look through the window and see Nikki.

"Fuck off!" I shout turn around and walk up the stairs.

She keeps knocking and I turn into my room and close the door.

"Gary pleeeease" I hear her.

She is still pounding on my door.

I go to the front bedroom open the window and shout out at her.

"Go away or I'm calling the cops and when they get here in two hours they will arrest you!!!!!!!!"
"Please Gary I need to talk to you."
I slam the window.

A few minutes later I hear her drive off.

"Good. Get the hint. I don't want you around me anymore. I don't want anyone around me anymore."
I go back down stairs and turn out all the lights now that its dark. Hopefully no one will bother me now. So now I'm sitting in the dark. I don't want to turn on the TV because they will see it. I turn on the radio and listen to music for a while. I am guessing an hour has passed since Nikki left and I hear banging on my front door.

"GO THE FUCK AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Police sir. Please come to the door." They shout back.

"Fucking Nikki." U mumble.

I go to the door and throw it open and am greeted by two of Dayton's finest."
"What?"

I see Nikki behind them.

"We needed to preform a welfare check."
"You see I'm fine. Sorry my sister wasted your time."
I say and start to shut the door. The cop puts his foot forward to block it.

"Sir your sister says you are behaving strangely."
I take a deep breath. I reply calmly.

"Look just because I'm not behaving how she thinks I should behave doesn't mean there is anything wrong. So unless you have a warrant to be in my house you need to remove your fucking foot so I can shut the door."
"Sir are you suicidal?"

"That's a ridiculously stupid question. I'm not. But if I was do you think I would answer yes?"

"Your sister says you haven't answered texts from anyone shes worried."
"I lost my phone, and I'm pretty sure that not answering texts requires a visit from the police."
He holds up a phone. My phone.

"Is this your phone sir?"
I act surprised.

"Yeah cool. Where did you find it?"
"Near the street. Someone said they saw you throw it there."
"That's ridiculous. It must have slipped out of my pocket or something." I say holding out my hand and he drops the phone in it.

"Your sister would like to come in and talk with you. Is that alright?"
"Absolutely not. Now if you have nothing else I need to get some work done."
The officer removes his foot from blocking the door and turns to Nikki.
"Ma'am we have done everything we can do. Your brother seems in control of his faculties. He doesn't seem suicidal. He seems pissed off. Give him a couple days to calm down."

I shut the door and lock it as he is talking to her. I go to the kitchen and boot up the computer. I don't want to be accused of lying to the cop so I open my email and start working on a few projects. I see in the corner of the computer that its nearly 11 when I finish a project. The pain is severe but I'm strangely getting used to it. Its almost comforting to hurt. I know its weird its how I feel though. I go upstairs and climb into bed. I'm wiped out. Even with the pain I find sleep.

I wake up around 3am and the pain is terrible. I try to embrace it and enjoy it. Its just too much I cant take it. I relax and imagine the pain slipping from my body. I can feel it moving out of my body as I direct it out through my toes. I imagine the pain oozing out of my body like thick molasses.

"Oh it hurts so bad." I moan.

I want to take some pills but they are downstairs and I have to go get them. I hurt so bad I can hardly breath. I manage to mentally get rid of some of the pain. Enough so that I can climb down the stairs and get some pills. I think I might be going crazy. I am questioning why am I pushing everyone away. I don't understand this. It is what I have wanted my entire life. To be in a place where people love me and I love them. It fills my heart with joy when I see the boys. I love my sister. I don't understand whats going on with me. I don't understand why I'm being a huge prick to everyone that loves me. I slowly slide out of bed. I have a pair of sleeping pants and slide them on and head downstairs. Each step is agonizing. I get nearly to the bottom and I have to stop and rest. It hurts so badly I have tears in my eyes. I sit on a step and lean against the wall. As I am sitting there I hear a key in my door.

My first thought is I'm going to fucking kill Nikki. But I don't know why I am feeling this way. The door opens and Tremay walks through it all bundled up in his coat a hat and scarf. He has on snow boots but I see he is wearing sleeping pants. He looks at me.

"Mr Jones are you OK?" I see the worry in his eyes. It hurts me to my soul seeing it.

"I am getting pills." I moan.

"Where are they?"
"Coffee table."
He flips on a light because the one from the stairs is hardly sufficient to see anything. He grabs the pill bottle and races to the kitchen and I hear the water running. He comes back with two pills in his hand and a glass of water and hands them to me.

I take the pills in my trembling hands and shove them in my mouth. He can see I'm really shaky and holds the glass to my lips. I drink and swallow the pills.

He sits the glass on the step next to me and he strips off his coat and things and hangs them on the coat rack. He takes my hand and leads me to the couch. I lay down and he snuggles up against me.

I like feeling his smooth chest against mine. I don't know why he didn't put on a shirt. But he didn't. I will have to talk to him about that later maybe.

"Nikki will be worried when she wakes up and your not there."
"I had to come Mr Jones. I was having bad dreams about you and knew you needed me. Besides I left her a note."
"I'm afraid shes really mad at me." I tell him.

"Shes real worried about you. Shes not mad. Mr Jones don't you love me anymore?"
I'm shocked by his question.

"Of course I love you. Why would you think I didn't?"
"I heard Aunt Nikki talking to Uncle Juan and she said you said that me and Jamal would be better staying with them. Mr Jones I love them. But I love you more than anyone. I don't want to stay there anymore. I want to come home."

He says and I feel his tears slipping from his eyes onto my chest.
"I don't know why I said that Tremay. I don't know why I've done a lot of the things I've done in the past two days. I think I'm going crazy."
"I think your scared." He says wrapping his arm carefully over my chest.

"I am. I am real scared Tremay. I just don't want to see you guys hurting. I don't want to see you guys scared. When you came in and saw me you were scared right?"

"I was real scared. Mr Jones I don't want to lose you. I know that now your healing and its gonna take a long time for you to get better. But please I want to be with you. I want to be with you forever."
I think about telling him I talked to Mitchell about making that happen. But I don't want to get his hopes up because I don't think anyone will do it. I really want this boy to be my son and not just in our feelings. But on paper and in the courts. I know its only paper but its important to him, and to me.

"I'm sorry buddy. Its just I don't know whats wrong. I think its that I see pain and fear in your eyes when you look at me. In everyone's for that matter. I am always trying to protect everyone from bad things and now I guess I'm the bad thing. I guess that's why I am pushing everyone away."
"Stop it Mr Jones. I love you and if I was hurt would you want to be anywhere else than with me?"
"Absolutely not."
"Alright then that's settled. I'm moving back in right now. You cant stop me now anyway." I can feel him smile.

"I wouldn't want to. Have I told you lately that you are a good boy?"
He kisses my chest.

"Not for a while no."
"I'm sorry. I guess I have become a self absorbed dick. Just thinking of myself. Can you forgive me?"

"I already have."
The pain is subsiding some and I pull the blanket over us. It feels so good and so natural for him to be with me. I love him so much and I know he loves me. What the fuck was I thinking. Why would I ever push him away from me. He is so sweet and loving. He is my boy and my son in my heart.

I feel him relaxing and he is almost asleep. I am gently running my fingers up and down his smooth back.

"I'm sorry Tremay."
"I love you." He says and kisses my chest and we are both sleeping soundly in minutes.

I wake up hearing clattering in my kitchen and I don't feel Tremay.

I carefully sit up on the couch pushing myself up with my arms instead of using my chest and stomach muscles. I see its light outside so that's good I think. I made it through another night. I see a pack of cigarettes there and grab one and light it up. A minute or so later Tremay appears with a cup of coffee in his hand.

"Good morning Mr Jones. I made some coffee. I got your egg thing in the oven."

"How did you do that? I don't have any groceries in the house."

"I walked down to Mr Lees and got some stuff."

"When? I didn't even hear you."
"A little while ago." He tells me and sits next to me and I wrap my arm around him.

"I'm sorry Tremay that I made you think I didn't love you. I think I was pushing you away because I love you so much. If that makes sense."
"I get it. You didn't want to see me in pain because you are. But don't do it again." He warns me with a smile.

"Never." I squeeze him to my chest.

"I thought about what you said about Aunt Nikki being worried. So I called her on your phone to let her know for sure where I was."

"Was she mad?"
"No she seemed happy about it."

"HM." Is all I can think of to say. I really don't know what to say honestly.

"I'm not even sure where my phone was. I don't really remember a lot about yesterday."
"Its probably a good thing. You were real mean to Aunt Nikki."
"I should apologize huh?"
He gives me his most serious look.

"Yes I think that would be appropriate."
I cant help but laugh when he says this because its what I say to him a lot of the time.

"I think you are 100% correct that it would be the appropriate thing to do."
He smiles at me.

We sit and cuddle a little while as I finish my cigarette and coffee. The timer goes off for the egg bake and I get up and go into the table with his help.

"We are here to help you Mr Jones. Just like you help us. So stop being a jerk about it." He chastises me as we go in the kitchen.

"I know your right. I love you buddy."
"Love you too Mr Jones."
After I sit down he pulls out the food and puts bread in the toaster and races to get my coffee cup and fills it back up and puts it in front of me. I kiss his cheek when he does He butters the toast like I like and gets me some eggs and sits it in front of me and then gets some for him.

"This is really good buddy." I say after I take a bite.

"Should be I made it just like you do."
"I didn't know you knew how to make it."
"I been watching you make it forever now."
"You young man are a smart boy."
He smiles and takes another bite.

We get done and he quickly gets my plate and does up the dishes.

I slowly amble back to the couch and grab the bottle of pills. I take one as I hurt but not really bad hurt like before. I imagine the pills are just starting to wear off. I swallow it with coffee. Tremay comes in and sits next to me and I turn on the TV and light a cigarette.

We snuggle into each other and I cover us up as its a little chilly in the house. I think about turning up the heat. But that would require me getting up and I don't think I want to for a few reasons. The first and most important is I don't want to be away from Tremays touch for that long. Second I know it will hurt a bit to get up. Third is I just don't want to. I think that's enough reasons.

We sit and watch a few episodes of the show he likes on Disney and after the third one ends I look at him.

"I guess I should start making amends for being an asshole."
"Good a time as any." Is his response.

_______________________

ericmurphey1971@gmail.com

Due to the lack of response this will be the last story I post for a good while. If not permanantly. I do thank you for all your emails in the past. But I feel if just a few are reading then I can spend my time better on other things. Not that I dont appreciate the ones who are reading. But if only a handful of people are reading then I see no real point in continuing. I started a Christmas story I have since stopped writing. I wonder how many great stories we missed because people dont bother to say thank you?

I have had great fun and met many interesting people through my emails. I have been asked by many if I have an amazon wish list and other ways for people to give me a gift and I have always rejected the kind offers. I dont do it for money obviouslly. Just to share a nice story. Maybe I was wrong and should have gotten a patron page. I had thought of it and decided against it becasue I dont want to seem like Im begging. Will write for food and that. After this part their are two more that have already been completed thus completeing this section of the story. Maybe in a year or two I will start posting again. But I dont really see it happneing. I started writing a couple years ago because I was in a very VERY dark place considering very seriouslly taking my life. I found some hope and a couple really good friends through my writing. I looked forward to writing new stories to share and to get feedback on. I never focused primarily on sex as you know. But on love. I think the world needs more love and sadly it seems as though it has become more indiffernt to people. The antisemitism and anti gay sentiment seem to be on the rise and we really should have pulled together a a group to stop it. But sadly people just dont give a fuck. Unless its about them. I have started four stories and see no reason to complete them other than for personal satisfaction. I imagine very few people will even read this because they dont give a fuck about what I say. I feel very much like Joey to be very honest that people only appreciate me when Im creating for them. I did get a few very nice emails from people on Thanksgiving even though I hadnt posted anything for a few weeks before it. I guess I am just really let down from the lack of caring. I used to get so excited especially this time of year my readers all trying to help out the children at Christmas and them sharing the details with me. One year I think if people were honest we together donated well over $10,000 worth of toys to children. Maybe its my own fault that I dont get as much mail as before. Maybe I am just a spoiled prick that thinks more highly of himself and his abilities than I really should. Maybe my stories are just shit and dont really deserve a response. So if you see a story you like let the writer know. They sure do appreciate it. I know I did.

So for the last time I wish you

Peace Love and Good Happiness

Eric

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