Date: Wed, 30 Jan 2002 14:05:48 -0800 From: Rick Beck Subject: Billie Joes Journal Chapter 3 Chapter 3 Alone Together Sometime during the night I reluctantly fell asleep with my lips against Carl's. I didn't want to go to sleep. I didn't want to sleep until Carl left, but my body didn't know what to do about it. When I woke up I recognized the position. My best part resting in the crack of Carl's butt. Yes! Naturally I was. My hand was around Carl, and he held my wrist, and guess what my hand held? Ah, sweet mystery of life I think I found you. And, yes -- naturally he was. I had no urge to do anything. It was daylight and I knew John would be up and about before we could get anything done worth doing. It was fine there holding him. It was fine up in the warm moist crack. I think I was supplying the moist part. Carl was quiet. I loved the feel of his skin. He was so big and so rugged looking and yet so smooth and nice to touch. As soon as I squeezed him, he pressed his hips so that all of it slid through my fingers until my hand was in his wiry hairs at the base. I squeezed again, marveling at the size of the thing. I felt the smooth ball sack against my fingers. Then that tight narrow butt of his moved back, back, back so the whole length of me slid all the way down through the crack. It was then that I wanted to do something, but I heard brother John's feet hit the floor. Just once I slid myself across the hole so that my head could press into him. I could feel the slick ooze I left there. It just made me want to do something even more, so I squeezed him and pressed forward, feeling him pressing back on me. My mouth opened and I worked my lips up his back as steam started coming off me. I stroked him in long full motions and he pressed harder back against me and wrapped one of his arms around me, pulling me to him as he pressed backward against me. My head almost burst open when I felt the hole taking me into him. Instead of pulling away he pressed harder allowing the hole to open even wider as a moan came out of him and I moved back to see myself just ever so slightly inside of him. I felt faint and gasped for air and wanted to do to that hole what I did to his mouth, but I held myself back from it knowing there was no time. "You guys get up. We're leaving in ten. Got to get you downtown before I go in." "Oh, I'm up all right," I said, looking at my aching thing. Carl rolled out of my grip and faced me and sticky liquid ran from me to him. "Damn thing gets bigger every time I look at it. You're going to be big as me. For a little guy you got the equipment of a baby bull all right. We better get dressed! We've got plenty of time later," he promised. I tried to catch my breath as he threw me my torn underwear. "Sorry. I got a little turned on last night." "Really! I don't remember a thing. I was drinking beer and can't remember nothing," I said. "Yeah! Right! Root beer, Ass Hole. Don't try to pull that shit on me." I watched him dress holding my underwear in the air for no particular reason. He watched me the whole time. Never took his eyes off me. There I lay, naked as a Jay Bird, and I didn't feel any shame at all in front of Carl. Seeing his face in the light was only slightly more incredible than seeing it in the dark. His freckles ran across his nose to the top of both cheekbones. His eyes were flawlessly clear and rich. He stared at me and brushed his lips across mine as he bent for a sock nowhere near me. He opened them ever so slightly nibbling mine, first the top and then the bottom. He closed his eyes and moaned like he'd just bit into this incredible piece of fruit. I grabbed him and pulled him on top of me and slid my tongue all the way in his mouth. He tried to keep from crushing me by rolling over me instead of on top of me. He landed on his back beside me but he never took his eyes off me. "I'm a fucking Marine and I've fallen in love with a fucking guy. What's next?" "Maybe we'll run away to Mexico and say screw everyone." "The Marines don't take kindly to desertion." "Write 'em a note and tell 'em you're on extended vacation. Better yet. Tell them your boy friend doesn't believe in violence. Tell them I'm a complete and total pacifist." "Right," he said as he sprang up and stood in the middle of the foam. His balls stood out of his fly hole and hung down below his dick. It stood straight out and arced up just a little in the middle. The head looked reddish, almost purple with the big ridge around it flaring out from the shaft. "I haven't been soft in five fucking days. I've got to do something soon." "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go to sleep. I'm just a kid and all. What do I know." "Yeah! Right! A kid going on forty. It's not your fault. I could have kept at you, but you looked so peaceful, and I like just being with you. It's not like sex is all I like about you. I mean I want to do obscene things to you, but it isn't like I won't live if I don't." "No more sex, huh?" "Don't get wise. Wiseass. Tonight your ass is mine, kid," he whispered. "You must be kidding. No way Jose! I think the Marines are calling you, Ponyboy." "Yeah! See my problem. I need it bad, and you're too fucking small. I'd rip you apart. That's what scares me. If I didn't like you so much I wouldn't care, kid." "You said I had you close last night. We'll just keep going. You did it for me. I can do it for you, Ponyboy," I hurried my words thinking we were running out of time. "I don't want you doing that. I mean it was okay and all, but I don't want to do anything to upset you. That might upset you. It don't seem right me being so much bigger than you." "Didn't upset you." "I'm older than you too. I can handle it, kid. Marines are tough." "Right! A year and a couple months. Old man. That's what you are. I'm having an affair with my grandfather. Old Granddaddy Carl. Ponyboy." "Shut up," he said louder. "You shut up." "You guys dressed? Five minutes," John called from the top of the stairs after the water stopped running in the bathroom. I scurried around, putting my clothes on going in a circle. Carl pulled his shirt down over it as I watched him tucking it straight up under his belt and inside his shirt just as my brother hit the bottom steps. "You guys ready? Let's go. There's a motel a street over and five or six blocks up from Pike Street Market. It's not far from the Needle. I'll drop you off there and Carl can get a room. You can walk down to the Market for breakfast. Lots of great stuff there. Awesome food. All fresh and healthy." "I remember. It hasn't been that long we were out here." "Yeah, kiddo. I forgot. Just reminding you. Come on guys, let's get moving. Make sure you got everything Carl." The room had one bed. It wasn't Holiday Inn, but Carl wasn't my parents. There was no pool, but it was only forty eight degrees so we didn't miss it. We went through Pike's and picked up the fish, and played with the vegetables. We ended up sitting at a window in the middle restaurant and watched the ferries come in with the hordes going downtown to work. Carl's knee rested inside my legs. My hand rested almost on his crotch, but I couldn't quite reach it from under the small table. He ran it down his leg so I could hold it while we drank coffee and ate sweet rolls for a couple of hours, staring at each other like a double feature was running on our eyeballs. He put his hand on my hand as I held onto his business end. I don't ever recall caring about food less. I don't think I even knew what I was eating. Carl insisted on paying, and we went through the lower part of the market and ended up in the arcade with him standing behind me again while I played. We sat on a bench on the infamous strip after getting burgers at the McDonalds. Even at eleven in the morning the bimbos were walking it. I watched Carl, but he didn't seem interested. I kept thinking he only wanted me for one thing, but I was the one that kept wanting to be doing it. There just seemed like a lot more to learn, and we weren't learning anything sitting across from Pike's watching hookers. "Let's go to the room." "It's not noon yet." "Your thing on a timer? Never was before. It's always ready when I touch it." "I know. I just don't want that to be all there is between us. If that's all there is we can do that any time anywhere. I want to have fun. I want you to have fun." "Me, too. Let's go to your room." "Is that all you think about?" "Carl, I'm with you. That's not a very smart question. I don't think about anything else. I still keep thinking we've only got a few days. I don't want to say good-bye thinking we could have spent more time doing it. Let's spend more time doing it, and then we can say good-bye and be happy to get a rest from each other." "I don't want to hurt you." "Jesus! Will you grow up. I'm a big boy now, Carl. I've become sexually active, Ponyboy." "You telling me. You were buried in my throat remember. You're right fat for a little sucker by the way, and this morning, well you were almost buried some place else. Pretty neat, too. It was like being part of each other. Cool." Carl looked up to the sky in a confessional kind of way. "What am I fucking saying? I'm a fucking marine!" Then he looked at me and his eyes twinkled. "Let's go to the room and you can be the sucker, sucker." "You're the sucker." "You're the sucker." "Well, now that we've got that settled, let's go get some practice." "Right. Practice, practice, practice. Got to get it right." "Now you're talking my language," I said. I stood up and pulled Carl to his feet. I looked up into the sky to see his face. He was beautiful. We strolled up to the hotel and we held hands on one block until a lady started staring. He opened the door and held it for me. When I walked past him I checked him out. Still hard. Man had the constitution of a Brahma Bull. Send in the Marines! He followed me in and hung the do not disturb sign on the door before locking and chaining it. When he turned around I undid his gold belt buckle and unbuttoned and unzipped him, moving his pants and boxers over his hips and down to his ankles. I knelt and took off one shoe and a sock and then the others. I pulled off his pants and tossed them on the bed as he watched. I knelt before him, looking up at him naked below the waist. His hands were on his hips and he looked down on me. His legs were like strong, sturdy tree trunks. The golden, ruddy hairs shone from the light cascading through the window flooding the room. I ran my hands up his thighs and closed my eyes to feel the muscles he tensed under my touch. I felt the inside of his legs as he spread them for me so I would have perfect access to all of him. I continued to explore upwards, moving slowly, enjoying the smoother feel of the skin as my fingers touched the space behind his balls and brushed him there to search for a non-existent hair or two. Almost like being magnetized, my fingers traced their way back to where the crack began. His nuts were drawing up as his legs moved further apart and Carl now studied the ceiling as my hands examined his brown spot. I could do anything I wanted. He forbid me nothing. Pulling me to my feet he looked down into my eyes as I moved his shirt up off his stomach toward his shoulders. Lifting his arms I got it up over his face and couldn't get it up over his arms that nearly brushed the ceiling. I jumped and tried, and he laughed at me through his shirt. He pulled it up and off and I studied the small patch of buckwheat colored hair under each of his arms. I moved my face into the middle of his chest as he tossed the shirt away. He placed his arms around me as my face basked in the warmth of his skin. He could read my mind too. We hugged there and I didn't ever want to let him go. He kneeled before me and unbuckled my pants, pulling them and my underwear to my knees. He moved his face onto my crotch then, kissing all up and down on my most excited part. As he took off my shoes and socks his face leaned into my thigh and my thing hung out across his forehead and into his hair with my sack almost in his ear. He threw away my clothes and pulled my shirt up over my head as he stood. His thing rubbed up against my stomach and chest. I grew faint and dizzy and used it to steady myself. Well, maybe I wasn't all that dizzy. Having gotten rid of everything between our bodies, he looked down into my eyes. His face held the most marvelous expression as he looked at my face. I felt quite crazy. I don't know why. I felt like I'd never been alive before. I'd only lived a tiny little bit, and I think it was then that I understood why sex/love/intimacy was such an attraction for the young. Life could be hard and cruel and confusing, and when you find out there is something so good, you can't say what you feel in words. You just blossom inside. In a sweeping motion he picked me up without talking to me. I felt odd in his arms. His thick chest seemed even larger and I placed my face against one of those raised nipples and let my lips open on it. He stood in the middle of the room holding me, and I nursed for the first time since I was a child. The object of my attention grew harder and firmer and, while I was lost in my own world, he laid me on the bed and stood over me. His every muscle was defined and his skin gleamed, his eyes glistened and his manhood stood proud. Neither of us could speak. What was there to say? He stretched out beside me and his lips brushed mine once more as his arms took me to him. The feeling of being alone to do whatever we desired made it easy to enjoy. The further he moved on top of me, the closer I came to erupting in an endless stream of ecstasy. His thighs pressed against mine and the feel of his skin was like a hot electric charge as his mouth pressed against mine. Almost instinctively my fingers ended up back in the crack that always called to me. I could feel him rubbing slowly on my thigh, across my crotch, and on to my side as his body writhed ever so gently against me. Once more I forced myself to think of warts and somehow kept from ending a moment I wanted to go on for the rest of time. My hands rubbed the skin on his ass, his hips, his back -- drinking up the best of hard gristle and soft skin. We rolled and twisted and rose and fell together there in that bed. The kissing spread from lips to parts and pieces previously untouched by kisses and love. Before I was ready to go back to my teacher's wart, he captured me unaware and devoured me. Being quicker than the night before I fought to return the feel of it, but no sooner had I found him, and in bold motions swallowed all I could, than it served to propel me suddenly without warning into lands unknown. I did try to remove myself to prevent the embarrassment of the night before, but his strength dominated me, not allowing me to get free. He buried his face in my crotch hair while I pumped out semen, draining off my lust for what seemed like ten minutes. My body quivered and shook as my passion emptied into him, and he held me tightly, deep inside, like he had been ready and waiting for me to yield up all my love for him. There was not a cough or a sign of discomfort this time. Carl worked at making it last, making it better for me. His large hands cradled my butt cheeks, which he used as handles to hold me in his throat, to pull me deeper, as the spasms coarse through me and then subsided into gentle motions like rocking on a soft sea. The night before had been awkward and surprising for both of us, but this was different than that. This was perfection. The world stopped spinning after a time. We lay still as I became determined to give to him a part of what he'd now given me twice. As I worked to regain my rhythm his mouth set me free. In a single motion he pulled me up so that my face was looking at his. He was stopping me before I could even make the attempt. I knew I couldn't do for him what he did for me, but I wanted to do the best I could to satisfy his need. "I want to do it for you," I protested, struggling to get back to it. "Relax. We have time. Lie with me and rest awhile. Your heart is pounding and you can hardly breath. I'm too big to struggle with. When you rest you can try again. Stay up here with me right now. I need to look at you." "Why did you let me do that," I complained worried I'd piss him off and make him leave me. "I wanted you to do that. It was great." "It's not fair. I want to make you happy." "Make me happy? Billie, I've never been happy until I met you. Not once in my life have I been happy. I've never felt like I was good for anything. I've never felt good about myself. Making you feel good makes me feel good. I thought it was just about getting a nut at first, but it isn't about that at all. I know that now. It's about being with you, Billie. I can get a nut any time I want. I can only have you right now." His fingers brushed back my hair from my eyes as he looked inside me. I was scared just then. Not by anything we'd done or might do but by all the things that were beyond our control. I'd found out something about myself that scared the hell out of me. Carl was there with me to protect me and to help me deal with it, but soon he'd be gone and I'd be alone again, and I couldn't go back. There was no way I could ever go back to being that naïve innocent Minnesota schoolboy. I wasn't going to ruin it and I shook my reverie out of my head, brushing my hand over his face and feeling his porcupine hair. My smile was genuine, my love for him quite real. There was only one thing left to do. "But you haven't, and it isn't fair. That's twice now you did that. I need to do it for you. You've got to let me do yours." "I'm not counting. It isn't about how many or how much. It's about being with you! I don't need it right now. I'm satisfied having satisfied you." "It's not fair." "Life's a bitch," he said, sounding like it was anything but. "Yeah! Tell me about it. You got to sleep some time, Ponyboy." His lips pressed on mine as we faced each other and he kept his hand on my face as he kissed me into oblivion. I don't know how long I slept, but I woke in that position sleep always ordered up for us. Whether he positioned himself for me or we just welded together that way in our sleep, I do not know, but the warmth of his crack ate my once more hungry self. Even without thinking it prodded at the object that called me. I wanted to get down to the spot and examine it with my eyes, fingers, lips and tongue, and, most of all, I wanted to know what was inside. What it would be like to be part of him. ***** Email and comments create momentum. bjwalkerjr@37.com If you ARE enjoying this, try my other story, DISCOVERING GREGORY, /nifty/gay/highschool/discovering-gregory/