I want to dedicate this story to anyone and everyone who has ever been bullied, discriminated against, abused or murdered for their thoughts, beliefs, race, feelings, who or what they are or were. I wish nothing like that would ever happen. Sadly it continues today. Even from the highest levels.

ericmurphey1971@gmail.com

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My Former Life

Part 3

Ar 3 am I was startled awake by the sirens blaring and someone pounding on my door. I jump out of bed and slip on my robe. Ben is sitting up in bed shaking.

“Its OK Ben go back to sleep if you can. Your perfectly safe where you are. Just don't go outside until I get back. No matter what.”
I rush to the door and the night Sergeant of the guards is there.

“Herr Major there has been an escape.”
“I figured. Give me a moment to get dressed I will be right with you.”
I race back in and put my uniform on in record time. I am out the door and in a side car of a motorcycle in two minutes. The Sergeant takes off and the wind is bitter cold. I hate motorcycles and this is just one reason why. We go to where the razor wire has been cut. I get out and examine it. Within a minute there are thirty guards around me all carrying machine guns. We all go through the cut wire while two stay back to guard the opening. The dogs are let loose and they are hot on the trail. We take off after them and in about five minutes we see some people trying to hide some are still running. The guards open fire. Those running fall to the ground. Those hiding come out hands raised in the air. I see those that were hiding are mostly children.

“Should I shoot them Herr Major?”

“No I think they will learn their lesson another way.” I go to where the people were running and four are on the ground. Two haven't been hit and are pleading for their lives. A guard kicks one hard in the ribs.

“Filthy swine!!!” He screams as he kicks him.

“We will teach them other ways.” I say. I walk over to one that's been shot and he isn't so bad off. He has a wound in his leg and is screaming in agony. He wont die I think. At least not from that. One is still laying face down. He is obviously dead. I just shake my head in disgust. I kick him over and I am surprised and yet not. It is the potato thief. I think he gets what he gets and walk away. I look around and the dogs are idle so I am thinking that all that have tried to escape are caught. Otherwise the dogs would still be going crazy.
“Herr Major isn't that the Jew you just had punished for stealing.” The night Sergeant of the guards asks.

“Yes that's the filthy swine.” I say. I have to sound mean a lot of the time. It is expected. I give him a swift kick.

“Should we take him back?”
“Let the wolves feed from him” I say.

We walk the rest back the guards taking swipes at them with the butts of their guns when they feel they are lagging behind. The man with the leg wound isn't walking very quickly and he gets hit in the back of his wounded leg with a rifle butt.

“Nazi scum!!” He shouts. A burst of gunfire follow it and he now lies dead. I just shake my head in the unjustness of it. I hate that I have to follow the part I am given at this time in my life. But, I must if I am to survive. When we get back to the camp the Commandant is pacing back and forth in front of his house. He is furious. I walk up to him.

“Herr Commandant we have captured the escapees. Two were killed the other are in front of you.” I report.

“Hang them and make an example of them. Let them hang until their bodies rot and fall to the ground as a reminder to others who try to escape.”
I look and there are five children in all between probably six and ten years old.

“Herr Commandant. I think I can beat some sense into the children and make them good workers for the Third Reich,”
He is pissed he was awakened by this.

“Fine you better. If they try to escape again you will be hanged with them.” He shouts and storms back into his house.

I turn to the Sergeant and without trying to show any grief of the senseless loss of life I say to him.

“You have your orders. You children follow me.”

One guard follows behind to make sure none try to run off. I am certain they wont they are terrified. Who the hell wouldn't be. I walk to my house and I go in and tell them to follow me in. What I must do I have no desire to do. But, it will spare their lives. My stomach is in knots as they follow me in.
“Wait here until I am done with them.” I tell the guard following. He stands at attention on my porch and waits.

“Go into my living room.” I tell them.

They are all shaking and terrified and rightly so. They have no idea what is about to happen. They all look at me with fear in their eyes some with tears others on the verge.

“You know I spared your lives right?” I ask them.

They all nod their heads.

“You also heard if any of you try to escape again I will be hanged along with you?”
Again head nods.

“I like you have no desire to be hanged. I must punish you I have no choice because if I don't then I will be in trouble and again you will be hanged. Do you understand?”
All of them nod.

“Benjamin bring me my razor strap.” I say and look at him because he is peeking out the bedroom door. A moment later my boy is there with the strap. He has on pants and an undershirt. I bend down and whisper in his ear.

“Ben I hate to do this. I am going to go to the restroom explain to them that I don't want to I HAVE to.”
He nods and I go and relieve myself. Actually what I do is vomit at the prospect of having to beat them. I walk back out after I rinse my mouth.

“Now all of you strip so I don't ruin your clothes. They do as they are told. Three of them are boys and two girls. I take the first the youngest who is a girls. I bend her over the chair and I pull back the strap and with the first swat she lets out a blood curdling scream. I swat her four more times. Tears are streaming down my face. The other children are all crying now knowing it will soon happen to them. I can see the red marks from the strap a crossed her legs and little bottom.

I get her up and hug her.

“I'm so sorry we have no choice.”

She nods her head.

“Next!” I say loudly so the guard hears me.

The oldest a boy steps forward tears are running down his face. He bends over the chair and knows its going to hurt like Hell. He is brave though I will give him that. I strike him and again another scream from pain. I let him have four more. I figure five will be good. It will satisfy whomever may inquire. I know the commandant will. He is a sick fuck that loves to inflict pain on anyone. I help the boy up and again hug him and apologize. He nods he understands.

“Next.” It is a girls she is about eight she steps forward. I lean her over the chair and I wallop her bottom. She lets out a scream and as I am going down for the second swat she puts her hands in the way. I accidentally take the strap a crossed her hands and another scream in pain. I move the next swat down and get her legs. She is screaming bloody murder. I am thinking good the guard is thinking I am nearly killing them. I let her have two more and help her up.

I hug her and tell her I am sorry.

“Thank you Herr Major.” She says.

“For what?”
“For saving our lives.”

I hug her again.

I get the next one up and he bends over he is a seven year old boy. Damn he is cute I think. If I was a viscous and cruel person I would fuck him right there. He is gorgeous, his little ass is perfect. He is waiting as I admire his bum. I raise the strap and come down on that pretty ass. As with the others he lets out a scream in pain. I let him have four more. Again I hug him and tell him I am sorry. He hugs me back and kisses my cheek. Fucking world I hate it I think.

The last one isn't wanting a whipping at all. He wont come forward. Poor guy is the last he has seen how much pain it is and wants no part of it. He starts to run to the door and two of the children grab him.

“NO NO NO!” He is screaming. They hold him over the arm of the chair and nod at me. I pull back the strap and wallop him on his ass. He lets out a scream like none of the others. It is blood curdling. I quickly give him the other four in quick succession. His screams I'm sure could wake the dead. When I am done with him I put the strap on the coffee table.

“Now all of you turn around with your backs to the door.” I say to them. I can see each and every one of them is just as I planned it. Red whelps from their backs to their legs. I wipe the tears from my eyes and compose myself.

I open the door. The guard turns and looks in and sees the damage I have done. He winces as the children are all still crying. I can tell he likes this none at all.

“Guard return to your post this is going to take a while. I have to beat them more so I know they will never try to escape again.”
“Yes Herr Major.” He salutes and does as ordered.

After he leaves I go and sit in my chair. I look at all the children. Ben is sitting on the couch.

“Now we are done with that horror, what are your names?” I ask.

The oldest boy says.

“I am Aharon. This is my brother.” He says putting his hand on the boy that tried to run. “Chayim Herr Major.”

“And you?” I say pointing to the cute boy.

“I am Gavriel Herr Major.”
“And you little one?” I ask pointing to the little girl.

“I am Channa Herr Major.”

“You?” I ask pointing to the older girl.

“I am Golda Herr Major.” She says and salutes.

I smile because she is showing me respect as the others also are.

“Benjamin.’
“Yes sir.” He says and stands up at attention.

“Why don't you go and makes some hot tea and some sandwiches for our young guests.

“Yes Herr Major.”
“Please everyone sit down I want to talk with you while Benjamin makes something for you to eat.”

They all sit on the floor and don't dare sit on the couch. Honestly I am kind of glad they didn't because they are all pretty dirty.

“Now you all understand I didn't want to beat you right?”

All heads nod yes.

“I had to make it look and sound good so the guard would report back to the Sergeant who will report to my Commandant that I was beating you mercilessly. I am sorry for that but, it had to be done.”

“Herr Major?” Gavriel lifts his hand as if he were in school.

“Yes Gavriel?”
He stands up and I admire his beautiful body. He has a lovely cock about three inches soft. He is very lean of course partly from lack of food and he is muscular.

“Herr Major we owe you our lives. We understand because Benjamin told us while you were gone. We are all very grateful to you for helping us.”

“Your welcome. Now how many of you were with your parents?”
Every hand raises. I shake my head because I know they are all orphans now if not they soon will be.

Gavriel sits back down. I see him fondle his long boy cock as he does. I notice he isn't looking at anyone but me. I watch it rise and its a bit bigger but, not much. It is rock hard though. I scoot around in my chair because my cock is growing seeing this. He isn't masturbating mind you just toying with it. Ben walks back in with a plate of sandwiches for them on a tray with six cups on it. He sits the tray on the table and he lifts one cup and hands it to me.
“Thank you Benjamin.” I am always formal with him in company as he is with me.

“Your Welcome Herr Major.”
He then hands each child a sandwich and then a cup of hot tea. They must have been ravenous because even the littlest ones have their sandwiches gone in a flash.

“Benjamin do we have any more of the roast left?”
“No Herr Major.”
“Do we have bread left?”
“Yes Herr Major but just five slices.”
“Why don't you toast them and put some jam on it for them.”
“But, Herr Major you wont have any breakfast.”
I wave for him to go do it. He is gone quickly and the children are waiting and looking at me not knowing what to expect. Gavriel is again toying with his penis.

“I have an idea for you children I don't know if it will work or if people will agree to it but, we will find out in the morning if it will. Otherwise I will have to put you all in the dorms.”
A look of hope came into their eyes and then when I said dorms their eyes all became sullen. I certainly don't want these kids having to fend for themselves. A moment later Ben returns with the toast and jam. He hands them out from youngest to oldest. The kids don't eat it as quickly enjoying the sweetness of the jam.

“Benjamin go and get some blankets for the children. They will sleep here on the floor tonight.”
Without saying a word he goes to the bedroom and gets three large blankets and returns with them. I get the thickest one and spread it on the floor so they will have something kind of soft to sleep on. After that I lay the other two blankets on top of it. I explain what I am doing as I do it. They all nod silently and slowly munch on their toast. After they are all done and sip the last of their tea. I help them all get in the “bed”. I give each of them a kiss on the cheek. Gavriel turns his head so I kiss him on the mouth. I wonder if maybe I need two valets. No one is enough I think. Beside I truly love Ben. But, lust is strong when you are 23. I turn off the lamp and Ben and I go back to the bedroom. I glance at the clock and it is five am now. Dammit I need to be up shortly I think. We climb in to bed and I put my arm around Ben.

“You are a kind man.” He says.

“I had to beat them.” I say a tear streaming down my cheek.

“Better then hanging them.”
“Yes I guess you are right. But, it was still horrible.”
He snuggles in and I am asleep quickly. I am sleeping very well when I start having an erotic dream again of Ben sucking my hard cock. It feels amazing he is stroking my cock with his soft little hand and bobbing with his mouth on the head. His other hand is rubbing my balls. I arch up as I cum into his sweet young mouth and unload my shots into his mouth. He swallows every drop and he sucks me dry. I am more awake now and pull Ben closer to me and kiss the top of his head. Then it hits me. How can Ben have his head on my chest and suck me off at the same time. The daylight is creeping through the drapes and I look down and see my cock in Gavriel’s mouth. He looks up at me with his lovely brown eyes and smiles around my cock. He lifts his mouth off and whispers.

“I wanted to thank you properly for saving my life.”

“Thank you now get back to the other room before anyone else wakes up.” I whisper back.

He slips off of the bed and comes next to my head and whispers in my ear.

“I will do it anytime you want. I like to do it especially to you. Thank you again.”
“Thank you.”
He kisses my cheek and I watch his little bum scamper off back to the living room.

I close my eyes and hear.
“Did you like that?” Ben whispers.

“I thought it was you.” I whisper back.

“You wanted him to do that didn't you?” He whispers.

“I love you.”
“I know. But you wanted him to do it didn't you?”
“Yes.” I say softly.

“Any of the others you like. I'm sure I can get them to do it if you want.”
“No sweetie. I love you.”
“Its OK I know you like other boys. If you want Gavriel to live with us I will understand.”
“No I just want you here. I love you.” I say and hug him next to me.

I can feel him smile against my chest.

“Do you think your mom will take a few of the kids to stay with her. I know there isn't much room but, its that or the dorms.”
“I know she will. I know Anna will too.”
“So you knew my plan?”
“I figured that was your idea.”
“I don't want them in the dorms by themselves.”
“No I don't either its too hard like that. I think your plan is better. Besides you can go see him when you want some extra attention.”

“I don't need extra attention you give me plenty.”
“I know but I also know you may want some different attention.”
“I love you Ben.”
I know he is giving me approval to get some love elsewhere and he is OK with it. I know too that I will.

Once I am nearly back to sleep I hear the clock chime seven times.

“Shit.” I say and get out of bed and go pee. I shave and get dressed in my uniform. Ben is still sleeping. I nudge him and his eyes open.

“You can sleep until you wake up or get dressed and go with me. I am going to go and have some coffee while you decide.”
I walk into the living room and all the children are huddled together and Gavriel is on the end. He turns his head to look at me and smiles. I smile back. I go into the kitchen and Anna is looking into the ice box confused as to what happened to all the food.

“There was an escape last night.”
“I heard Herr Major how does that affect there is no bread?”
“Some children were with them. The Commandant ordered all of them to be hanged. I talked him into sparing the children.”
She looks at me and nods knowing.

“So they are in the living room?”

“Anna I know its a terrible thing to ask. But, can you take two of them. They are the sweetest little girls you ever did meet and...”
“Of course Herr Major.”

As I say this Gavriel walks in naked as the day he was born. He sees Anna and is surprised.

“This one is Gavriel. I am going to ask Ben's mother to take the three boys as she only has her daughter.” I say and rest my hand on his shoulder.

“I am sure she will say yes too.”
“I hope so other wise I have no choice but, to put them in the dorms.”
“Then I know she will say yes. That's no place for adults let alone children.”
“Well, the youngest girl is Channa and the older girl is Golda. They both seem very sweet. The boys are of course you now know Gavriel. The other two are brothers. The older is Aharon and his brother is Chayim. Now I will walk back at lunch and take the boys to Benjamin's mother and ask her to help. If you like I can walk the girls to your house at the same time.”
“No that's OK I will have them help me today and surprise my family with their new sisters this evening.” She says smiling.

“Your so sweet.”
“Herr Major kindness is rare anymore and you are surely a rarity.”
I smile at her.

“I have coffee made already.”
As she says this Ben appears in his black suit ready to join me at work. I figured he would. He loves to be with me as much as I love him with me.

“Herr Major would you like some eggs this morning since we haven't any bread made?”

“No I will just have coffee thank you. Give Gavriel my eggs.” I am starting my self denial of food at this point in my life. I remember as I watched the kids last night gobble the food up and I just feel as if I should deny myself so I can feel their suffering. I sit down and have my coffee.

“Benjamin go and get me a cigarette please.”
Before he gets up Gavriel is up and going to get it for me. Ben looks at him with a bit of distaste. I mouth I love you to him. He smiles and lets it go. Gavriel reappears with a cigarette for me from the box on the coffee table. He didn't get the lighter so I sit the cigarette in the ashtray unlit. Ben sees this and goes and gets the table lighter. I don't carry a lighter and I hate the taste of a match so I smoke a lot less. Maybe ten a day just at the office and here at home. He returns with the lighter. I smile and he looks at Gavriel like dumb ass.

I light my cigarette and say.

“Thank you boys for the group effort.”
Gavriel is all smiles at that. Then again so is Ben. Anna sits two eggs in front of each boy and they eat them up. I sip my coffee and when I am done I snub out my smoke. I sip the last of my coffee and get up.

“Herr Major may I go with you as well?” Gavriel says.

“No I need only one valet at this time. But, if I need two anytime I will be sure to call on you.”
He looks sad I said no, yet happy that I may call on him. Benjamin and I head to the office and on the porch are the two stupid Privates that assaulted my Ben. As I walk by them they jump to attention and salute. They start to follow me in as I walk by ignoring them.

“I didn't say I was ready for you.” I say as I stop and turn. They both run into each other not expecting me to stop.

“Await my orders. I will send my Sergeant out for you when I am ready.”
“Yes Herr Major.” They say and salute. I ignore them and walk into the office.

“Herr Major.” My Sergeant says as he hops to attention from his seat.

“At ease Sergeant.”
“Herr Major what do you want me to do with the two privates?”
“I haven't decided yet. However every fifteen minutes I want you to go out and make sure they are standing at attention until I figure out what the hell to do with them.”

“Herr Major if I may suggest?”
“Yes?”

“Herr Major we need a new latrine dug for a couple of the dorms?”
I cross my arms and sway back and forth a moment.

“That's usually Jewish work right?”
“Yes Herr Major.” He says smiling. Apparently he is becoming fond of Benjamin too. I know that a lot of the times when I have meetings Ben will sit in the front office with him. I also know he has snuck Benjamin some candy from time to time. I like my Sergeant. He apparently heard what they did.

“The grounds frozen too so they will have to chip up the dirt with a pick ax as well huh?”
“Yes Herr Major.” He says smiling.

I look down at Ben and see what he thinks. I also see my Sergeant wink at Ben when I do. Ben winks back at him.

“Pretty cold out today isn't it?”
“Yes Herr Major. It is Minus 20 C.”
“Yes I think make them wait at attention two hours before you give them their orders. Then have them done with both latrines before the end of the day and have them report back tomorrow at seven am as well.”
“Yes Herr Major.” He says and salutes.

“Just curious any other ideas in your head for punishment?”
He just smiles as he sits back down. I just chuckle, and walk into my office. I start in on the never ending paperwork. I hear the door open every fifteen minutes and my Sergeant shout at them calling them every horrible name I have ever heard and a few I don't know. Interesting I think. As he is out there I look at Ben.

“I think he likes you.”
“I like Christian he is nice.”
“Oh Christian is it?” I say looking at him curious.
“Yeah he says when your not in the office to call him by his name. He says you would have a fit if I did it in front of you.”
“Anything else I know you told me he sneaks you candy sometimes?”
“His wife sends me pie sometimes.”

“I am liking my Sergeant and his wife more and more.” I say smiling.

“His wife asked him last week if in the spring if he thinks you would let me go on a picnic with them to the lake.”
“I would but, he would have a hard time making a reason for you to go with him. Tell him to tell me that he needs someone to help carry things for his wife and to help some around the house. That way you can stay the weekend if they decide to go to the country or something that's like that.” I say to him smiling.

He nods his head.

“Its a weird time we live in isn't it?”
“Yes sir it is.” He says as we hear the Sergeant come back in.

“I have an idea. Would you like to spend this next weekend with him and his wife? Be part of a family and feel free for a few days outside of the camp?”
With the word free he smiles.

“Yes sir I would like that very much. But, what will you do?”

“I will read and catch up on some things.”
“How about you have Gavriel stay with you. He seems to really like you.” He says stressing the really.

I think for a minute because I hadn't thought of that. I do like the idea that's for certain as my cock rises thinking of his pretty bum.

“I don't know. Probably not. No I just want you,” I decide against it. But, I do like the idea that's for sure.

"Go get Christian for me."

He gets up and goes to the outer office. I hear him say to him.

“Sergeant, the Major would like to see you.” I see him rub Ben's head as he walks around him. I smile and look down at the paperwork so he doesn't see me smiling.

“Yes Herr Major?”
“I look up at him with a serious face.

“Sergeant I have meeting this weekend for Vril. I cant leave Benjamin alone in my home. I am sure he would be fine by himself but, he is a boy. Sometimes without meaning to boys tend to get into trouble. I was hoping you would want a valet for the weekend around your house. I am sure with the baby coming soon you have a lot to do and could use some extra help.”
He smiles. Literally grins at the thought.

“Yes Herr Major I have many projects before the baby arrives I could use help with. It would be my honor to have your valet assist me with the projects.” He says very seriously. His smile almost gone as he says it.

“Very well then. He will go with you Friday after work and you can bring him back on Monday morning. He is very good at polishing boots as well Sergeant I say and look at his less then well polished boots. Maybe he can teach you something.” I say very seriously.

His smile is gone now.

“Yes Herr Major. I will have him teach me his tricks as yours have never looked better.”
“He is also very good at making coffee maybe he will teach you that as well.” I say nearly breaking into a smile. But, somehow avoid it. As far as my Sergeant knows and has seen. Ben is nothing more then a servant to me and that's how I want to keep it. Never know who is watching.

“That's all Sergeant.” He salutes and leaves.

Ben walks back in all smiles.

“Whats Vril?”
“Its a secret Society only the elite are asked to join.”
“Is Christian a member?”
“No and neither is my Commandant much to his chagrin. It burns his ass I am because he knows if he does something to me I have many friends on Hitlers staff including Heinrich Himmler who will have his head if I ask.”
“Oh.” Is all he says.

I go back to paperwork and he goes back to reading. At noon time I head back to the house and Ben follows me. I see my Sergeant wink at Ben on his way out. Ben just smiles. When we get back the children are all dressed and the blankets are gone from the living room. I am guessing Anna will wash them before she puts them up. The kids clothes all seem clean. Well, as clean as they can be anyway.

“Anna did you give them all some breakfast?”
“Yes Herr Major.”
“Good.”
“Boys you need to come with me.”

They all get their meager coats and I recall I need to get some for Ben's sister and mother. I had forgotten. So many things to do. I curse myself for forgetting. I know if they go outside today they wont forget. We walk to Ben's mothers apartment. I knock on the door. His mother answers.

“Herr Major come in have I done something wrong?” She asks if anyone is listening. It seems someone always is.

“No I need to speak with you.” I say acting like I'm forcing my way in. The boys all follow me.

“Children go in the other room while I talk to Ben's mother. Ben his sister and the three boys go into the bedroom and close the door.

I put my hand on her shoulder.

“I know it is a lot to ask of you. But, may these three boys stay with you. Their parents tried to escape last night. Unfortunately they were all hanged. I was able to spare the children's lives thankfully. But, I cant keep five kids and Ben at my house. It would raise suspicions.”
“I only saw three..”

“There are two girls and Anna is taking them.”
“I don't know where we will put them. But, yes of course.”
“I will have my Sergeant have someone bring a bed for the boys. I guess we can put it in the living room. Maybe the kitchen so it will be warmer for them?”

“Yes we can take out the table and put it in here so they can be warmer. I think that will work.”
“I will try and send more food so you can keep feeding the neighbor boys.”
She looks down at the floor.

“You know about that?”
“Yes and I'm fine with it. Haven't you noticed I have been sending more food?”
“Yes but, I had no idea you knew.”
“I know a lot of what happens in this camp. Like I know a certain Sergeant who gives glasses of milk to the kids in a certain dorm every day.”
“You know about that?”
“Yes I do and I made sure he had easier access to it as well. How do you think he gets so much milk on a Sergeants pay?”
“I never thought about it I guess.”
“There are a lot of things you don't know, and I cant tell you because it could cause harm to you if someone starts asking questions of you.”
“I suppose your right.”
“How are the neighbor boys. Ben said his sister gave them half the chocolate I sent over.”
She smiles when I mention them. I can tell she is very fond of them.

“Oh they are just a delight. I am so happy they can eat more. They are gaining a bit of weight. They were just skin and bones before.”
“I'm glad. I wish I could do it for everyone.”
She puts her hand on my chest.

“I know you do sir.”
This time I look down in shame because I cant help everyone. She lifts my chin up with her hand.

“Herr Major you do what you can. We cant save the world. But, we can save some.”
I nod in agreement as I am frowning wishing I could just pack up the entire camp and take them somewhere they could be free.

“My Sergeant has taken a shine to Ben.”
“Oh?”
“Not like me. He is normal.”
“Oh.”

“Ben tells me he sneaks him candy sometimes. Also his wife sends Ben pie sometimes too.”
“That's so nice of him.” She says smiling.
“Yes, I think so. I told my Sergeant I have a meeting this weekend and asked him if he would watch Ben for me so he doesn't get into trouble. What I really want is Ben to feel for at least a few days like hes free. I really do wish you all could be free. This world just sucks.”
“I know he will have a good time, and I know you do Herr Major.”
“Maybe someday Germany will wake up.”
“We can only pray sir.”
“Sadly that's all we have I think. It seems to be getting worse.”
“I wouldn't know sir. We aren't allowed the radio or papers anymore.”
“Believe me its worse.”
“I'm sure it is. But, it is always darkest before the dawn.”
“I'm sure your right. Or so I hope.”
“Ben come on we must be getting back to the office.”
All the kids follow him out. Ben's sister comes and hugs me.

“Thank you for the chocolate. Please don't be angry with me but, I gave some to the boys next door.”
I take her cheek in my hand. I bend down and kiss he other cheek.

“You are so sweet to share a treat like that. Next time I will send two.”
She smiles at me.

“But, you keep one OK?”
She smiles again.

“OK At least half.”
She nods at that.

I think to myself I will send three. Maybe that way she will keep a whole one for herself. But, somehow I imagine every child in the building will get a piece. Her not being one of them. Such a sweet girl.

I look at Aharon, Chayim and Gavriel.

“If you give her any trouble at all and disobey her in anyway. Last night will seem like a fun time, and I wont feel bad about it either.” I say very sternly.

I get slow nods as they recall the whippings I was forced to give.

“Do you understand me?” I say stern again.

“Yes Herr Major.” They say.

“She is a very nice lady doing this for you. If you give her one ounce of trouble I will skin you alive with my razor strap is that clear.”
“Yes Herr Major. We understand sir.” Aharon says. The others nodding.

“OK then. Be good boys like I know you are.” I say and rub the top of each of their heads, and smile at them. My cock twitches as I rub Gavriel's head recalling his thanking me last night. I certainly could tell it wasn't the first time he gave head.

Ben and I head back to the office. On our way we see the two Privates digging the holes. I look at Ben.

“I don't think anyone will bother you again. What do you think?”
“No I think not. News travels fast about things like this.”
“That it does.”
Once we are back I walk in and look at my Sergeant.

“Sergeant do you know were Ben's mother and sister live/”
“Yes Herr Major the same building as Anna and her family sir.”
I wonder how he knows this. It turns out I find out about twenty years later he too is sneaking them extra food. Ben's sister tells me one day in passing.

“Good. I need a few things sent to them. I want you to oversee it so everything is taken care of and nothing is off.”
“Yes Herr Major.”
“I need a bed, full sized I think will do delivered to her. I also would like for three boys heavy wool coats and a coat for Ben's sister and Mother as well. Also make sure they get extra rations filled out as she is taking three of the boys from last night. Also the same for Anna an extra bed. Two coats for two little girls as well.”
“Yes Herr Major I will take care of it immediately.”
“Thank you Christian.” I say catching him off guard. To be perfectly honest until Ben told me his first name I didn't know it.

“Your welcome Herr Major.”
With that he heads out of the office and Ben and I go into mine.

“I thought you forgot about the coats.” Ben says.

“I did sorry. You need to remind me of things sometimes. I have a lot to look after.”

He snaps to attention and salutes.

“Yes Herr Major.”

I just laugh at him and he sits down. I watch him he starts to draw some and I watch him. I always like that. He concentrates so hard at his art. His eyebrows are furrowed and he makes very deliberate strokes with the pencil. I watch and am thinking how much I am going to miss him this weekend. But, I also think it will be nice that he can be a boy for a few days. Just be a boy. A tear slips from my eye as I think about what I wish for him. Which is to be free to be able to run and play and not have anyone bother him for being a Jew. Just a place where he can be himself and be happy. He looks up at me.

“Why are you crying?”

“I'm just wishing I could let you be free and happy.”
“Well, at least I am happy now.” He says and smiles.

I just look at him and wonder what I can do. I am sure there is an underground network. But, how would that work a Gestapo Major asking questions would get nowhere and fast. I sigh and go back to my paperwork. A few minutes later the phone rings and my Sergeant is still out.

“Major Lechter,” I say as I answer the phone.

“I am just checking to make sure you took care of those little Jews last night.”
“Yes Herr Commandant.”
“I hear you beat them rather severely.”
“Yes Herr Commandant.”

“Where have you placed them?”
“I placed two of them with my maid and three with my valets mother Herr Commandant.”
“Can you trust them?”
“Yes Herr Commandant. They have all proven to be trustworthy.”
“Good. I see the adults are properly hung as a reminder of those who try to escape.”
“Yes Herr Commandant. My men took care of it last night.”
“I was also told that you left the bodies of the dead last night for the wolves to feed on.”
“Yes Herr Commandant that is correct sir.”
“Probably bad for the wolves that Jew meat.” He says laughing.

I chuckle at his comment hard as it was.

“Probably so Herr Commandant.”
“I have been asked to join the Order of the Black Sun.”
Ah his real reason for calling. To brag.

“Very nice Herr Commandant.”
“Are you a member?”
“Yes Herr Commandant since I turned 21.”
I can here him groan his displeasure. He is always jealous of my connections. He is always trying to get me to tell Himmler about his good work that he does. I never do because he is just a brutal thief and takes the Jews and anyone else for all he can. He is a greedy monster. I am sure if it wasn't for his thieving hands I would have much more to feed the prisoners with. It is my understanding he takes twenty percent off the top for “operating” expenses.

Yeah for fine wine and food. I am not a drinker I don't care for wine. I don't even care for beer. I prefer my coffee over it all.

“I go for my first meeting in three weeks I guess you will be there as well.”
“Yes Herr Commandant I will be present.”
“Is Herr Himmler a member?”
“Yes Herr Commandant.”
“Do you think he will be there?” He sounds like hes begging me to say yes.

“No Herr Commandant. I doubt it. He usually is at all the Vril Meetings.”
“I wonder why I'm not asked to join Vril?”
“I don't know Herr Commandant.”
I know why. Herr Himmler suggested him and I told him that he is not worthy of joining. He has taken my word for it and also had him investigated and decided I was correct on the matter. He has told me that fact. That and I like to be able to hold that over him to keep him a bit nervous of doing anything to me. Because if he did the Order would come down on him like a ton of bricks and he knows it. If he was a member he would know he cant come after me without significant proof not just hearsay.

“So I will see you at the meeting then Major. Heil Hitler.”
“Yes Heil Hitler I repeat.”

I hang up the phone and make a sour face at it.

“The commandant I am guessing.” Ben says.

“What gave it away my saying Herr Commandant after everything?” I say and smile.

He smiles back.

“Maybe?”
I go back to my work and am thinking of ways I can find out about the underground. Ben goes back to his drawing. A while later my Sergeant returns and knocks on my door.

“Enter.”
He does so and reports that everything is taken care of.

“Sergeant I forgot to mention I have another meeting in three weeks. I know its a lot to ask but, can you take Ben then as well? If not I am sure he can stay with his mother.”
“No Herr Major I can use him then as well.” He says trying to suppress a grin.

“That's fine. When those two idiot privates get back send them to me.”
“Yes Herr Major.” He turns on his heels and walks out closing the door.

“You really do have a meeting in three weeks don't you?”
“Yes.”
“Whats it about?”
“Hocus pocus mostly.”
“OK.’ He says and leaves it at that. I am sure I could explain to him all about it but, its really all just bullshit I feel. Its just a good way for me to cover my ass to be honest. That and I do like going to the castle. Its just so lovely and the surrounding country side is nice to walk in and wander around in as well.

After five o’clock and my Sergeant is on his way Ben and I head back to the house. Apparently the Privates didn't finish yet. We walk by where they are still digging the privy for the dorm.

“Report to me at my home when you are finished.” I command them.

“Yes Herr Major.”
Ben and I walk the rest of the way home, Damn its cold I think. We walk in and it is nice and warm in my little house. As we walk in Ben removes his muddy boots and I finally realize that I am causing him more work tracking mud through the house. So I remove mine as well. He races off in his stocking feet to get my house shoes. I slip them on and we walk into the kitchen where Anna is still working away with Channa and Golda helping both with aprons on. Channa looks adorable as she has flour on her cheek.

“Hello ladies. How are you all this evening?”
“Fine Herr Major.” Anna says.

Channa comes over to me and hugs my legs.

“I see you are happy today Channa?”
“Yes Herr Major. Anna says we are going to be her new daughters. Me and Golda.”
“Yes I asked her and she is kind enough to take care of you two.”
Golda looks over and smiles at me. If I liked little girls she would be one to like. She is very pretty.

“Golda how are you?”
“I am good Herr Major.”
As I am asking questions I sit down and motion to Ben I want a cigarette. He goes and gets me one and brings the lighter. I light it and he takes the lighter back. Anna at this time hands Golda a cup of coffee and she brings it to me. She sits it down and she kisses me on the cheek.

“Thank you Herr Major.”
I put my hand on her cheek.

“I wish I could do more. But, you two girls be good for Anna and her husband. You mind what she says.”
“Yes Herr Major both little girls say in unison. I know they are telling the truth. I can see they are good girls as I could see that the boys are good boys too. Though Chayim I think is a handful.

I sit and smoke and as I do Channa climbs up on my lap. I wrap my hand around her tummy and she leans back into me. I kiss the top of her head and then take another drag off of my cigarette.

She starts fiddling with the fingers on my free hand. Kind of rubbing them and playing with them. Its kind of nice having a little girl sitting on my lap. Its I don't know I cant describe it. Peaceful in a way. Like when Ben does but, without me being attracted to her. Its an interesting feeling. She starts fiddling with my Vril ring. It has a skull on top and intricate designs on the sides and all the way around. She is fiddling with it and I doubt seriously that she knows that this is the real reason behind why she is where she is. That the Fuhrer and his minions all follow the occult and believe in seers and other ridiculous things like that. I cant believe they believe this superstitious bullshit. But, they sure do. I like many others, I am sure know its bullshit but, we join it for reasons other then for what it is. Me for protection.. Them for prestige to rub elbows with the high and mighty in the party. She continues to fiddle with it

“Channa leave the Major alone.” Anna says.

“Shes fine.” I say and smile at Anna and then look down at Channa and she smiles back. I kiss the top of her head again. I finish my cigarette and snuff it out. She lifts it and pushes it down a few times to make sure I got it all the way out I guess. Or maybe she is imitating what I did. Who knows what goes in in little girls heads. She is lightly humming a song.

“Benjamin would you favor us with a song tonight? I think it may help the ladies with their work.”

I look down at this little girl again. I don't know there is something about her. I just adore her. She is someone special that's for sure.
He smiles and heads off to get his violin. I swear I think the only time he isn't running is when he has my hot coffee in his hands or when hes carrying his violin. He has so much energy. He comes back through the swinging door and sits down and starts playing a very pretty song. Channa is humming along with him as he plays. Once he is done she says to him.

“Will you teach me to play?”
“If the Major lets me I would be glad to.”
She looks up at me.

“Sure if you want.” I don't think I could deny her anything.
She hops off my lap and he has her stand next to him. He puts the violin on her shoulder and he hands her the bow. She moves it across the strings and a horrible screeching noise comes from the thing.

“Wait let me show you.”

So he takes it from her and he plays a simple little song with just three notes.

“See where I put my fingers here?” He asks

“Yes.”

“OK try again.”
“This time its not screeching, but it sure isn't the song he played.”

“No right here.” He says being very patient with her. He helps her place her fingers where they need to be.

“Now try.”

This time she does and it sounds almost like the same song.

“OK that's better.” Now see its just a little space when you move your fingers. See here to here then to here.” He says sliding her fingers on the strings. Golda is watching as this is going on as well. Anna is looking over her shoulder watching.

“Now try again.”

So she does, the time is off. But, the notes are right.

“Now try again with the right time.” He says tapping her other shoulder as she slides the bow a crossed the strings.

“That's much better. Some people tap their foot to keep time. I'm lucky in my head I can just hear it.”

So she starts tapping her foot and this time its nearly perfect without him tapping her shoulder.

“Very good. I am proud of you.” He says. I smile and clap for her.

She just gleams at the praise.

“Now again.” So she does and he keeps at her to keep going. I think I am going to hear pop goes the weasel in my sleep as many times as he had her try. But, you have to start somewhere I guess.

“Can I try?” Golda asks kind of hesitantly.

“Sure.” Channa says and hands her the instrument.

She puts it on her shoulder and has to brush her long hair back and sits it on her shoulder again. Before she slides the bow across she looks at Ben and says.

“Here then here then here?”
“Yes now try it.”
At first it screeches.

“Slide the bow don't press it.” Ben instructs.

She tries again. Her face is red with embarrassment. This time its nearly perfect.

“Tap your toes.” Ben says.

She does so and gets the time and starts again. The third time its just like if Ben was playing. She smiles as she knows its right.

I clap and so does Channa who is back on my lap.

Ben looks at her and smiles.

“Good job. Now try it again.”

So she does and its again perfect.

“I like this.” She says.

“I think you may be a natural at it. Channa will need lots of practice to be good. But, I know she can do it if she wants to.”

“Why don't you girls come over a few times a week with Anna and after we get home then Ben can give you lessons and you can learn.”
“Really?” Channa says and spins her head up and around to look at me.

“Yeah really. If anyone asks you can say you are helping Anna make bread or something.”
“OK!!” Channa shouts.

I hug her little body to me and she wraps her arms around my arm to hug my arm. Little girls are sweet I think.

Golda gives the violin back to Ben.

“Thank you Ben.” She says smiling at him. I think I see that she is kind of smitten with him. If it is his choice to later be with girls I am totally fine with that. But, I don't think he will. But, what do I know. Honestly I hope he gets older and has a nice family far away from here.

“Come on girls. I'm done we need to get to our apartment. Thank The Major for letting you learn to play the violin.”
Channa spins around and hugs me and plants a wet sloppy kiss on my cheek.

“Thank you Herr Major.”
“Your welcome.”
Golda walks over and she too hugs me and gives me a not sloppy kiss on the cheek.

“Thank you Herr Major.”
“You very welcome.”
What surprises me is then she turns around and hugs Ben and kisses him not on the cheek but on the lips.

“Thank you Ben.”
Ben turns every shade of red I have ever seen.

“Your welcome.” He says.

“Yes thank you Ben” Channa says and hops off my lap and hugs him.

“Have a good night Herr Major. I left a special treat in the bread box for you two boys.” Anna says smiling.

Her and the girls are gone in a flash it seems and their isn't a noise in the house.

“Thank you Ben for teaching them.” I say.

“Its kind of fun really. I never taught anyone before.”
“I hope you don't mind continuing lessons for them.”
“No sir I think it will be fun.”
I look at him seriously.

“Ben if you want I can get some time alone for you and Golda.”
He turns fifteen shades of red again.

“No that's alright. I just cant believe she kissed me.”
“Ben.” I say and put my hand on his shoulder. “If you like girls its OK. I can let you have girls if you want.”
“I like girls. But, I don't want to be with them. If that makes sense.”
“I think it does to me anyway.”
“Its like I want to be their friends but, not anything more.”
“OK I understand. But, if that changes I can get you literally any girl here and she would be happy to be your girl.”
He smiles at me.

“No that's OK.”
We have dinner and enjoy it. After he gets me a cigarette and I smoke it. We are both stuffed because Anna is such a fabulous cook. I am sure her restaurant was always packed. But, Ben being a boy and always curious cant help to look into the bread box to see the surprise treat.

On two plates are four Krapfens. Its kind of like a jelly donut. Just way better.

“Oh my.’ is all Ben can say. I haven't seen yet and he shows me.

“Oh my indeed.” I say. “I am so stuffed but, I must have one now.” I say and he brings me one and he gets one for himself. We are miserable feeling in our tummies after we eat them. But, our tongues are so happy.

“We shouldn't have eaten one yet.” I say.

“No. But, it was so good.”
“Want me to get you some coffee sir?”
“I know your show you like is about to start soon. Go and warm up the radio I will get my coffee.”
“Are you sure?”

I just wave him off and I hear the radio knob click as he turns it on. I get a coffee and go sit down in my chair. The radio starts to play and he tunes in the proper station. I hear a knock at my door.

I get up and go answer it. Of course its those two idiot Privates.

“Herr Major reporting as ordered.” They shout and salute.

“Be at my office again tomorrow at the same time.” I then slam the door in their faces. They must think I am a huge asshole. But, I don't give two shits what they think about anything. Mess with my boy. You are in deep shit. It will get around of that I am sure.

Ben and I listen to a few programs and at nine he runs the bath and we make love in the tub again He wants to again once we get in the bed but, I am just too tired. Never thought I would be too tired to make love to a boy. But, I am still worn out from the night before. I kept dozing off in the chair listening to the radio shows. I know I'm not old but, I feel it today. As we are snuggled up I say to him.

“I really like Channa and Golda. I think its nice you are teaching them the violin.”
“How do you like them?” He asks his jealousy showing a bit.

“I like them as people. I only love you.”

“Oh. Yeah its kind of fun teaching them. I think when I get older I want to be a teacher.”
“Its a good profession.” I say and think I hope he gets older.

He too it seems is pretty tuckered out as he is snoring in mere seconds it seems.

I pat him on his little bum and I doze off pretty quickly as well. Thankfully I am not wakened by another escape. I hate it because I know people will die if they are caught. But freedom versus death is a tough choice I suppose.

I wake the next morning and Ben as usual has gotten up before me. We go through the next few days like usual. He is teaching the girls on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. But, this Friday he is going with Christian, My Sergeant so no lessons today. The girls asked me last night if they can still come and help Anna. I think Channa has a little girl crush on me. I think this because she is always on my lap. I don't mind its really very nice. I got a thing for her too. She is just adorable. I am sitting in the living room and she keeps getting me cigarettes. I smoke maybe ten a day I think I have chain smoked about five in a row because I don't want to tell her no when she is doing something she thinks is nice. I am reading her the comics in the paper and she is giggling at the stupid jokes. She is such a sweet girl. I have found a few extra dresses for her and Golda. Also for Anna's three girls as well. The boys are doing well Anna tells me at adjusting to living at Ben's mothers house. I ask if they are being good. Her response is they are being angels helping any chance they get. I guess they are cleaning everything so much they are rubbing the wood off the floors. Anna says and laughs. After they leave I am sitting in the living room wishing I didn't send Ben with my Sergeant I miss him so much. I decide as I am reading the last of the paper its time to eat. I get up and hear a light tap on my front door.

“Now who could that be?” I say to no one. I go and open it and there is Gavriel all smiles.

“Ben said for me to come over this weekend because you will be lonely and need company.”
I step aside and he walks in.

“I was just getting ready to have my dinner. Are you hungry?”
“Yes Herr Major.”
“Fine lets go have some dinner. I know Anna made some chocolate cake for after.”
He smiles ear to ear. Such a cute boy I think.

He follows me into the kitchen and I open the oven and see two plates made up. A conspiracy I think. Everyone knows but, me.

I take the plates out with pot holders and sit them on the table. I get us both some milk and cutlery.

“Thank you Herr Major.”
“Your welcome Gavriel.”
He then starts eating as do I. Before I know it we are done.

“Are you ready for cake?”
He rubs his tummy through his thread barren shirt.

“Maybe later.”
“Fine. Benjamin and I usually read or listen to the radio. Which do you prefer?”
“I cant read very well. So I think the radio.”
“You know you only get better by doing it right.”
“I just cant do it good is all.”

“How about I read you a story and as I am reading I move my finger over the words as I go and you can learn a bit that way.”
“My mom used to read to me. I really liked it.” He says looking sullen. I feel like a big turd now as his mother was one that got hanged.

“I'm sorry.”
“Its OK I need to miss her and move on. That's what Ben's mom says.”
“So would you like to hear a story then?”
“Yes please.”

I go and get Peter rabbit from the book shelf in the bedroom. When I return he is naked and in my chair. He looks up at me with his innocent brown eyes.

“Ben says he likes to read naked. He says you like it too is it OK?”
“Yes its fine.” I say and he scoots over and I sit down. He is instantly on my lap. He isn't Ben but, a nice substitute. Ben is such a caring boy. He thinks of me always. I guess I always think of him too. I start reading and am moving my finger along the words as I say them. He is watching as I do and listening with rapt attention. It isn't a long story and soon we are done.

“Can you read it again?”
“Why don't I find another book then if you want to hear this one again that's fine too.”
“OK.” He says smiling.

He scoots off my lap and as I go to the bedroom to get another book he goes to pee. I take off my uniform jacket as its just us I don't need to impress anyone. I then start to take off my boots. I sit on the bed and start as he comes out.

“Ill help.” He says. I lift my foot and he faces away from me and straddles my leg lifting it up between his. I can see his pretty little pucker as he does. Oh my is all I can think. He pulls it off and puts it aside and then he lifts my other and does the same thing. I am half hard watching this. I pick up the book and we head back out to the living room and I sit and he slips onto my lap. My cock is at an angle and facing up and he manages to sit with it right between is crack. I feel it and my cock gets hard almost instantly. I start reading its a book with several stories by Hans Christian Anderson. I read the first and he is moving around on my cock as I do and its pulsing and leaking now. I am feeling good and uncomfortable at the same time. Once I'm done with the first story he takes the book from me and gets on his knees in front of me. I think I know whats going on but I'm not sure. He unbuttons my fly and pulls out my raging hard on and slips it into his mouth. Yes it is indeed what I thought he was doing. I notice that as he is sucking me he has his cock in his free hand and is wanking fast and hard. He is sucking the head in and out of his pretty little mouth and stroking my shaft with one hand. After about two minutes he lifts off his mouth and looks up at me and his eyes seem to roll back in his head. He is moaning and still stroking me. I realize he has just had an orgasm and it turns me on even more. In seconds he slides my cock back into his mouth and is sucking furiously. It feels fantastic to say the least. He reaches up with his other hand and frees my balls and he starts sucking on them and stroking my cock with one hand and rubbing his other little hand around my head. It slips around nicely because of his saliva on it. It feels absolutely amazing. I am about to cum. My balls start to pull up next to my body and he slips his mouth over my head and sucks hard. I explode into his mouth with seven hard volleys. I cum so hard I am certain the back of his head will fly off. I have my hands on his head and am sliding in and out of his mouth. I shove it all the way in and he gags. I don't want him to throw up so I pull it out some and he is working his tongue around my head then and I cant even breath at this point. The feelings are so completely intense. I start to come down and he is sucking me dry and swirling his tongue around my head. It feels almost too good. He is one hell of a good blow job artist that's for sure. With him it is truly an art. I feel my cock starting to go flaccid and he removes it from his mouth and gingerly tucks my package back into my pants and buttons my fly. He slowly gets back on my lap grabs the book from the table and hands it back to me. I open it up to the next story and continue as if nothing had happened. I read two more stories to him and its starting to get late. I hear the clock chime eight. Not time for a bath yet but close.

I see he is pretty sleepy.

“Are you ready for a bath and bed?”
‘Yeah I am kind of tired. I didn't sleep last night too much.”
“No? Why not?”
“I was excited I could stay with you this weekend and couldn't sleep.”
I smile at him after he says it.

“Well, Gavriel lets go bathe then we can head to bed a little early. Hows that sound?”
“That sounds good.”
I go in and start the water for the bath. I figure he will just hop in. But, he follows me back out to the bedroom. I sit on the bed and start to unbutton my shirt. He moves my hands away and starts to do it for me. I let him of course. He takes off my shirt and looks around and sees the basket and instead of tossing it in like I do he walks over and sits it in. Then he comes back and removes my socks. He rubs my feet a moment before he takes them to the basket. I stand up and start to unfasten my pants. But, he isn't having it. I let him continue and he removes my slacks and he puts them on a hangar, and puts them on the rod that it belongs on. He slips down my underwear next and bends down to slide them over my feet. When he comes back up he looks at my cock and pulls back the foreskin and kisses the head of it. We then head to the bath and I turn it off and climb in. He then gets the cloth and soaps it up.

“Benjamin told me how to do everything for you. I want to make you happy like he does.”
“You are making me happy. But, Gavriel I love him.”
He looks at me very seriously.

“You can love me too.”

Then he starts to wash my face and neck. When he rinses them off he kisses my cheeks then he kisses my lips. It is very erotic the way he is doing it. He is laying with his hard cock on mine as he kisses me. I feel his bounce as he kisses my lips and in turn my reacts the same way. He then takes his time lathering up my chest. He plays with my nipples and I am enjoying it very much. Once he rinses off my chest he starts to lick one nipple and rub the other. I have never had this done before and it feels very intense. After a while he scoots behind me and starts washing my back. After he rinses me he starts to rub my shoulders with his little fingers and works down my back following it with little kisses. Once he hits the water line he has me stand up. I do so and he starts washing my legs and works his way up to my bum. Once he gets there he lathers up between my crack thoroughly. He is making certain I am very clean there. Once he rinse me I feel him pull my cheeks apart and I feel his face next to my cheeks. I look back to see what the hell he is doing then I feel his tongue licking my hole. I want to tell him to stop. But, it feels so delightful I just cant. What I do instead is lean over so he can get it better. I can feel his little tongue trying to penetrate me. Once it finally does I cant believe how amazing it feels as he is sliding his tongue in and out of my hole. Who would have ever thought this would feel that good. He reaches between my legs and starts fondling my balls. My cock is dripping it seems gallons of pre cum as he is working his magic on me. After several minutes he stops with his tongue and I am actually kind of sad about it. He slips under my legs and washes my cock very thoroughly. He cleans it by stroking it for a good two minutes. He rinses it off and puts his mouth to it. I assume he is going to suck me again. I am hoping anyway. Yet, all he does is kiss the head again. He licks off precum from my slit and then motions me to sit down and hands me the cloth. I am about to explode at this point. I start to wash him carefully starting with his face and neck. I then do his chest and I play with his nipples for a few minutes now that I know how damn good that feels. I have him stand I wash his hard cock that bounces every time I touch it. I then have him turn around and I wash his lovely back then his bum. I am thinking about trying what he did but, I'm not sure if I want to do that. But, it did feel amazing to me. I want him to feel great too. So I have him bend over and I tentatively give it a lick. As I do he gasps. It doesn't taste bad tastes like soap since I just cleaned it. I start darting my tongue around his little hole and he is starting to breath hard as I do. I have him get on his knees and I stick a finger in his love canal and he gasps. Not from pain but from pleasure. I notice his hole isn't as tight as Ben's. But, it is tight so I slip another finger in and I am tickling the little button I had found previously on Ben as I do. He is pushing back into me and loving every second of it.

“I want you in me.” He says.

I am thinking I am in you. I was young and naive at this time. So that's what I say.

“I am in you.”
“No.” He says and slides forward and pulls out my fingers. He spins around and his cock is bouncing to beat hell. He pushes my chest and I lean back and he grabs my cock and positions his hole over it and slams down on it. It hurts a bit as he forces it in. But, once its in it feels amazing. He starts bouncing on my cock and as always I am amazed it fits in a small boy. I am watching it slip in and out of him as he goes up and down. He grabs his cock and starts stroking it.

“I'm gonna…..” I feel his ass clamp down on my cock and that's all there was for me and I unload into his tight little hole and I am meeting his thrusts the water is splashing around everywhere. We are both moaning loudly in pleasure. He is coming down but still moaning just more softly and I am still sliding in and out of him getting the last of the great feelings. I finally stop and he sits with my cock in him and smiles at me.

“I haven't had that in a long time. Thank you.”
I'm confused.

“How did you know all that stuff?”
‘I had an uncle. Well, not really an uncle a neighbor we all called my uncle. We did this kind of stuff all the time before I came here.”
“Oh.”
“I love him and he loves me. My parents found out and they were really mad for a while. But, I begged them to let me see him again. I told them I liked what we did. My dad wanted to kill him for about a week. But, he kept hearing me cry for my uncle all the time. He finally understood that I wanted to do those things as much as my uncle did. After two weeks he had my uncle come over. My uncle was super scared my dad was going to try to hurt him. But, my dad said to him. I don't understand it. But, Apparently Gavi loves you and he wants to do those things with you. So after that I spent the night at his house most of the time. We did it all the time. I was so happy. Then the police came and got me and my family and we are here now. Well, I am here now.”
“I'm sorry that you were taken from him. I am sure he misses you very much.”
“I know he does and I miss him too.”
“Maybe sometimes I can fill in for him. You know when Ben isn't home. I don't want him jealous.”
“No Ben and I talked. He knows that you like boys and he knows that you LOVE him. So he doesn't mind if we play and have fun together. Just so long as you still love him is all he cares about.”
“I will never stop loving Ben. He is so……..….special.”
“Yeah I know he is.”
“Well, I guess we should get out and clean up the water from the floor then get to bed.” I say.

“Yeah but, it was worth it.” He says and smiles.

“Yes it was.” I say.

He slips my cock out of his ass and he climbs out of the tub. He gets a towel and starts drying himself. I grab one as well and after we get pretty dry we sop up the water from the floor with our towels. When we got to bed we had sex two more times. I make love to Benjamin. This was sex and it felt great. Its better with Ben because I love him. But, this is nice too. That weekend I had sex with him so many times I don't remember how many. I had him in every room. Once I bent him over the kitchen table and pounded his hole right there. I couldn't believe I did it. But, we both loved it. On Monday morning I had sex with him one more time in the bed his ass propped up with a pillow and I pounded him from on top. Afterwards he got dressed had breakfast with me and went home. When he left he whispered in my ear.

“I had a lot of fun. Please have me again.”
Not have me over again. Have me again.

I whisper back.

“Soon very soon.”
He leaves with a smile on his face and I watch him from the porch skipping home one happy boy.

I get dressed and am out the door before Anna even gets to the house. I am excited to see my boy. I have missed him so very much. I get to the office at 6:45 I see the idiot privates walking around the building. As they have been for a few days now because I cant think of anything else more humiliating for them to do yet. I have them start at 5 am and then walk the post until 6 pm. They aren't allowed breaks except for one at noon and its fifteen minutes. Jerks will learn to not mess with my boy. I figure I will keep them another week or so then send them back to their unit. I am very sure they wont do anything stupid like this again. If so I will destroy them. If I hadn't gone out its hard to say how far they would have taken it. They could have killed him on the street with no repercussions if he wasn't my boy. I go into the office and I go in and start doing paperwork. I'm usually not at my office until eight or so. I know my Sergeant comes in at 7 to warm up the place. I leave my coat on because its so damn cold in here. I start in and a few minutes later I hear them come in. Ben is laughing and my Sergeant is picking on him in a good natured way.

“Christian I had so much fun. I never been ice skating before. Your wife is so funny too.”
“I know you will be coming back in a couple weeks when Herr Major goes to his meeting. Maybe we can do something fun again. I know my wife loved having you with us.”

I look up from my desk as the door opens and Ben is on his back getting a piggy back ride. Ben doesn't see me but, my sergeant does. Ben his banging his feet into him when he stops.

“Go!! Give me a ride Christian.”
“Herr Major.” He says half frightened, and stands at attention.

Ben sees me and slips off his back and to be honest I am kind of hurt. I love my Ben but, we don't have a relationship like that. Ours is not silly and fun. I look back down at my paperwork and continue filling it out. My Sergeant lights the fire in the stove in my office and he heads back out. Ben gets a book and sits down in his chair.

I think a few minutes and I am so disappointed in myself. I know hes a boy and I have just been treating him like a lover. An adult lover. I guess I'm just too serious for a boy I am thinking.

“Ben did you have breakfast?” I say without looking up.

“Yes sir.”

“Would you please get me a cup of coffee.”
“Yes Herr Major.” He says. He can tell I am upset.

I don't understand me. I am just stupid I guess. I should have been playing with him. Not just having him read and paint and play his instrument he needs to have fun. He brings my coffee to me.

“Ben go to your mothers.” I say without looking up.

“Yes Herr Major.”
He puts his coat back on and he walks out and closes the door without a sound. I hear them talking in the outer office. I hear Ben say.

“I don't know. I think hes mad at me.”
“Ben I will try to talk to him. Herr Major is a fair man and kind as well. I know if he is upset with you he will get over it soon. Please go see your mother and here take her this.”
I have no idea what this is and I never do know for that matter. A few minutes later I hear a knock on my door.

“Enter.”
My Sergeant walks in and stands at attention before my desk.

“Herr Major please don't be angry with Ben for our horseplay it is my fault please hold me responsible.”

I don't look up from my paperwork at all. I just continue on.

“I am not angry with him. Nor am I angry with you.”

“Herr Major if I may he said you seem upset with him.”
“No Sergeant I am upset with myself.” I say and look up at him at this point. “I have been treating him as if he were an adult. I knew he is a boy and I just have him doing adult things. I should have had him go and play with the other children. That's why I sent him to his mothers so he can play with the other boys that are there.’

“But, Herr Major he is so upset he thinks you are upset with him. He wont play now.”
I think a moment about this.

“You are probably correct. Here take this.” I say reaching in my pocket and pulling out some Reich marks and hand it to him.

“Go to the candy shop down the road. Buy a box of candy bars. I believe two dozen come in a box. I want you to go to Anna's apartment first. Give one bar to each of her three girls and one to the other two. Then go to Ben's mothers and give each boy there a candy bar as well. Also give three to his sister and tell her she made a promise to me. Tell Ben I am not upset I just want him to play is all.”
“Three Herr Major?”

“Yes I gave her one before and she gave it to the neighbor boys. I told her next time I will give her three so she will have one.”
With this he smiles.

“She must be as sweet as Ben Herr Major.”
“Yes she is. Now go.” I say waving him off. He just smiles at me a moment and then I hear the staff car start then take off.

I didn't mean for him to think I was upset with him dammit. I am so stupid.

I get back to my paperwork and a while later my Sergeant returns. He taps on the door.

“Enter.”
“Herr Major here are the rest of the bars and your change sir. All the children said thank you. Ben seems much happier now. When I got there he looked so sullen then I talked to him and explained. He is back to his happy self.”
“Sergeant did you really enjoy Benjamin staying with you?”
“Yes Herr Major he is a delightful boy. My wife was in stitches at his antics the entire weekend.”
“Sergeant I am as you know a very serious man. I am actually a boring man I would safely say. Especially to a nine year old boy. I think it would be nice if you took him home with you every weekend so he can be a boy. Would you care to do that?”
He looks at me very seriously.

“Herr Major I would truly love to. But, I don't think Ben will want to be away from you so much sir. He told my wife and myself that he was worried about you many times. He also said he missed you a lot as well. Sir I am certain he loves you.”
“He does and I care for him very deeply as well. But, I think its best he spend weekends with you and your wife so he can be a boy. At least sometimes.”
“Sir if I may be so bold you could play with him too.”
“Sergeant even as a boy I didn't play games or with other boys. I was what they would call a book worm. I believe that is how I got as far as I have so quickly is I am a very serious person. Games do not interest me in the least. They never have. I have made some adjustments in my life to try to make Benjamin a bit happier. I never used to listen to radio shows I felt they were nothing but drivel. I listen to them now because I know Benjamin enjoys them. I enjoy some of them. But, many times he will listen to them and I read a book instead. I think its in his best interest to spend more time with someone like you and your wife. At least for now.”
“I feel I can speak for my wife in this matter and we would be honored Herr Major.”
“Good then its settled.”
“If you say so Herr Major.”

“I do. That will be all. We have more things to do then discuss my valet.” I say trying to separate myself and my feelings from him. He has never laughed like that with me and I feel absolutely miserable.

I know he loves me but, dammit I am stifling the poor boy. I go back to my work and immerse myself in it. I work through lunch and well past my usual time to go home. I am a half a day ahead of my work now and I look at the clock and its eight pm. I put on my coat and extinguish the lights and I head home. I walk in the door and Ben is sitting on the couch reading the Hans Christian Anderson book. He looks up when I walk through the door and he smiles. I give a weak smile back.

“I waited to eat for you to get back.” He says.

“There was no need. You should eat when you are hungry.”
I haven't had anything to eat all day and I am still not hungry. I go in the kitchen with him and get our plates from the oven.

“All the kids said thank you for the candy.”
“That's good. I am glad they liked it.” I say.

I sit the plates on the table and pour us each a glass of milk. Ben starts eating right away I can tell he is hungry. I just sit and look at the food. I get up and go get a cigarette and come back with it lit. I sit down and drink some of the milk and look at the food. It doesn't seem appetizing to me. I finish my cigarette and snuff it out in the ashtray.

“Are you feeling alright?” Ben asks.

“I feel fine.”
“Your not eating.”
“I'm just not hungry. If you would like it you are welcome to it.”
I get up head to the bedroom and undress. I climb into bed and lie there with my eyes closed and soon am sleeping. I hear and feel Ben in a few minutes climb in next to me. He puts his head on my chest and arm over my belly and he hugs me.

I don't even wrap my arm around him. I have truly let him down I am thinking as I drift back to sleep.

I wake up the next morning before the sun shows its face and am dressed and out the door before Anna is there or Ben is awake. I walk to the office and the guards aren't walking their post. I am furious when I see this and think I will have their hides for this. I walk in the office and flip on the light. I see its only 445. Well, OK maybe I'm not angry at the guards. I go and wait on the porch to my office and see them running up to start their job of walking all day. They see me standing in the shadows and snap to attention and salute. I walk in the office and start a fire. I make a pot of coffee and begin my work. I am nearly done with today's work when my Sergeant comes in. A few minutes later I hear Benjamin outside talking to him. All I hear is my Sergeant saying.

"Just let him be. Hes confused right now. Just sit out here for a while and I will go in and see if he wants you here or not.”
I am working away and get that days work done. I walk out and go to my car I nod at both Ben and my sergeant and get in the car. I drive to town and I don't know what I am looking for but, I just feel I need to find something. I park and get out and walk by the shops. I walk into the candy store and get some nice fudge. I drop it in my pocket and head out. I see a store with colorful displays in the window I had never noticed before. I go in and I realize its a toy shop. The shop keeper comes up to me.

“How may I help you Herr Major?”
“I don't really know. What does a nine year old boy like?”

“It all depends I suppose. Is he a bright boy?”
“Yes very.”
“I have a few things he may enjoy.” He says taking me around to the other side of the shop. Its a construction kit. Erector set I think they were called in English countries. It looks interesting I think.

“I think he may like that. What do you have in the way of games?”

“We have many games for boys to play. He takes me over and shows me many colorful boxes of games. I choose three I think I can play with him and enjoy. If not I will give them to some of the camp children to play with.
“I will take these and the set you showed me.”
“Yes Herr Major. Will we be billing the camp sir?” He says a bit worried.

“No I will be paying.”
“Very well then.” he says smiling.
“Is it possible you can wrap them?”
“We don't usually Herr Major but, for you of course.”

“Thank you.” He wraps them in brown paper and ties colorful strings around them. He hands them to me and I take them and put them in the boot of the car. I head down to the tobacco store and buy myself some cigarettes as I am almost out. I think a moment and go back to the toy shop.

“Sir do you have some dolls?”

“Of course Herr Major.”
He shows me a large collection. I pick out five with pretty porcelain faces, I also get some small toys for boys as well.

“Would you like these wrapped Herr Major?”
“No but thank you.”
I pay the man and head back to the camp. I stop at Anna home first and walk in with the bag of dolls. The girls after I walk in are all hugging me before I give them their gifts.

“Girls thank you. But, I actually have something for you.”
“After the chocolate?” Channa asks.

“Yes after the chocolate.”
“Girls let the Major sit down.” Anna's husband says.

They clear a path and I sit on one of the beds. I open the bag and I hand each girl a new doll.

I hear lots of oh my shes beautiful and isn't she darling.

Channa comes over to me and smiles her precious little smile.

“Thank you Herr Major.”

All the rest chime in and look up from their dolls.

“Thank you Herr Major.” They all add.

“You are all very welcome.”
I go to the door.

“Herr Major may I come with you?” Channa asks.

“No sweetie. I have some other things to do tonight. But, I will see you tomorrow.”
“But, you weren't home last night.”
“I will be there tomorrow.”
“Promise?”
I bend down and kiss her cheek and smile at her.

“Promise.”
She smiles her pretty smile again and I go out the door and up the stairs to Ben's mothers apartment.

I knock and it is quickly answered.

“Her Major come in sir.”
I walk in and I go to the kitchen and sit on one of the chairs. I open the bag and start handing the boys some little pressed cars. They are delighted. I hand Ben's sister the last doll.

“Oh she is lovely Herr Major. I have missed mine since we came here.” She says.

“I am glad you like it.”
“I do sir thank you so much.”
Gavriel comes over to me and whispers in my ear.

“Can I come over tonight?”
“No. Not tonight. Maybe this weekend.”
He smiles at that and goes to play with the cars with the other boys. I reach in the bag and pull out two more cars and hand them to Ben's mother. She looks at me confused.

“For the neighbor boys.”
She smiles. I get up and leave.

I walk back down to my car and there is a little boy there about six.

“Herr Major?”
“Yes?”
“I polished your hub caps for you.”

I look and sure enough they are all shiny and clean. I look at him and reach in my pocket and pull out the fudge. I put a piece in his hand.

He looks and is delighted.

“Thank you Herr Major.” He says and runs off. Probably so no other bigger kids will take it from him. Or maybe to share it with a sibling.

I get in my car and I head back to the office. I walk in and I look at Ben.

“Sergeant there are some packages in the boot can you bring them in for me?”
“Yes Herr Major.” He quickly does it and Ben follows him to help.

They walk in and sit the packages on my desk.

“Ben. I have been upset with myself and its because I haven't let you really be a boy. It was my desire to make you happy. But, boys like to play and have fun. I'm not a fun person I know this...”
“Herr Major we have fun.”
“No not fun boys have. We read, you paint, and play your violin.”
“I like those things.”
“I think you may like these things too.”
I say and wave my hand over the packages.

“They are for me?”
“Yes I don't think Christian would want toys.” I look at him as I say this and he is smiling.

“Well, maybe he would.” Which makes him chuckle.

Ben picks up the first package and its the construction set.

“Oh this is neat.” He says. He start looking at all the things he can build with it.

“Ben open another.” Christian says.

“Oh yeah right.”

I think well. I think I chose well on that one. He does seem very interested in it. He opens the games. I got Checkers, Parcheesi, and backgammon.

“I figure we can play those some nights. I hope you like them.”
“Yes sir very much.” He says smiling a very happy smile.

“I'm glad.” I say smiling back at him.

“Now why don't you and Christian carry them down to the house in the car and while you both are there have Anna prepare you both some lunch.”
“Would you like something sir?” Ben asks.

“No thank you.”
“But, you didn't eat supper last night.”
“I will survive.” I am punishing myself again allowing myself to be hungry like so many of my prisoners. I feel I deserve it. I know I deserve it.

As they walk out I hear my Sergeant say.

“See he wasn't mad just trying to figure stuff out. He isn't like us he has to think about things first and then figure out the best way to go. He is a smart man the Major.”
“Yes he is.” And the door closes and I then hear the door latch and the car start.

About a half an hour later Benjamin walks into the office with a thermos of coffee and two sandwiches for me.

“Anna says you need to eat to keep up your strength.”
“I don't want the sandwiches. Take them to the idiot privates.”
“But, she said….”
“And I said.....Who is in charge here?”
“You sir.” He says glumly.

He walks out and tells the guards the sandwiches are from me.

They tell him to tell me thank you.

He comes back in and sits in his chair and stares at me.

“Ben why don't you go home and play with your new toy. I know you are interested in it.”
“OK.” He says. I can tell he is worried about me. But, I will be fine. A person can live weeks without food. I wont go weeks but, I just am not ready to eat yet. I don't even realize at this point in my life why I am doing it. I look back now and now as I write my story. But, back then I didn't understand why I did what I did.

He heads out and he tells Christian I didn't eat.

“He will. He is just working through something.”
“I hope so.”
I hear the door shut and Ben walks by the soldiers having their sandwiches.

“Thank you again. Herr Majors valet.” I hear them say to him.

“People need to eat.” Is all I hear him say.

I start on the next days paperwork and I work on it until around five when my Sergeant comes in.

“Herr Major that was very nice of you. I know you love him. I think he will be happier now. I think he was before. But, I think he will be more what you think he should be now.”
“I hope so. Have a good night Christian.”
“You too sir.” With that he leaves.
I get the thermos of coffee which I have drained of its contents by now. I walk home. I walk in the door and I see Ben is on the floor playing with his set. He has made a Ferris wheel. He looks at me and smiles.

“Look what I made.”
I pull off my boots and I go and sit next to him on the floor.

“That is really neat. Show me how it works.”
So he shows me and proceeds to tell me how it all went together. It is actually very interesting. No its actually pretty neat. He spins it and it goes around.

“Gosh I should get you another set so you don't have to take this one apart.”
“No that's silly. It was fun to build and I will have more fun building something different with it again.” He says smiling.

“I am glad you like it.” I say smiling. I get up and get the cigarettes from my coat pocket and get out the box of fudge and give it to Ben.

“I got this for you today.”
He opens it and smiles.

“I bet Anna would like a piece.”
“I'm sure she would.” He races out and offers her some. She comes out chewing the overly sweet treat.

“I know the shop you got this at.” She says after she swallows.

“Its the one downtown. Nice lady runs it.” I say.

“Yes next time you go in tell her I said Hello.”
“Will do.” I sit in my chair and light a cigarette. I grab the paper and start to read.

“Ben says you didn't eat lunch.”
“Ben talks too much.” I say.

“You need to eat.”
“I will when I'm hungry.”
After I snuff out this cigarette I light another.

That's the way I spent my evening after Anna left. I just chain smoked and drank coffee. I went out and sat with Ben as he ate. I again chose not to eat. Anna had made my favorite for me. I looked at it and it turned my stomach to look at it. So I put it in the ice box and looked in the bread box to see if she made a treat for Ben. She had. Some cookies. After he eats I head back to the living room and light another cigarette. The night wore on and Ben enjoys playing with his new toy. I read a book and it is fine. Not great but, fine. At nine the clock chimes. Ben goes and makes our bath. I go in and he washes me there isn't any play or anything. I think I am depressed at the situation. Not with Ben but. With the world. With my great country that is going to shit so fast. When we get in bed Ben tries to play with my cock. I tell him I'm not interested tonight.

“You want Gavriel more now don't you?” He says hurt.

“No Benjamin it isn't that. Its just I need to sort out some things is all.”
“Are you sure?”
“Ben I love you with all my heart.”
“OK.” He says not convinced. I go to sleep and I hug him to me tonight and he seems pleased with that.

For the next few weeks I eat very sporadically. I chain smoke about four pack a day. I didn't smoke in the office often before. But, now I have nicotine stains on my fingers. I have lost about twenty pounds and naked I look like one of the prisoners. I am so thin you can see my ribs now. I do start playing with Ben the games I got him. We tend to play a game every evening after supper. He paints a lot. He does seem to enjoy that a lot. He is continuing the lessons with the girls. I told them that on days they come with Anna to take turns practicing when we aren't there so they can get better. They are getting pretty good in the few weeks since they started. Ben is always worried about me not eating properly. I tell him I am fine. On the weekends sometimes I allow Gavriel to stay others I send him home to his disappointment. I have started making love to Ben again and he is thrilled about that. He can tell something is off with me. He has fun on the weekends with Christian and his wife. Apparently he is becoming a very good ice skater. He always comes back happy. He is happy with me now too. He laughs and jokes more with me. I laugh at his jokes and antics. I didn't know at the time but, I am a severe manic depressive. It started then and I have battled it since then. I have my good times and my bad times. But, I manage to survive. Obviously I am a hundred now.