My Former Life

Epilogue

Hans “Moises” died three years ago at 104. He was at mine and Golda’s home when he passed. When he died it was very hard for all of us. We loved our Major so very much. He gave us our freedom when we couldn’t obtain it ourselves. He left everything to me and I just couldn’t bare to go through it when he passed. I just went through the things in his office and found his story of how we first met. Our love was beautiful and life long. I loved him and still do. I too look back and think of when I was nine and terrified of my new life. I did keep my promise to him. The first day we were in New York I found a store and a kite. I went to Central park with my mother, sister, and Golda. My mother took the picture of me flying that kite and I had a huge smile on my face. It was so long ago. But that photo is still on Golda and mines living room wall. Golda and I had six children. Three boys and three girls. Our oldest boy we named Hans. We now have eighteen grandchildren and twenty two great grand children. Hans was always a part of us even when he wasn’t here yet.

I recall the day he first knocked on our door after the war. He looked so tired and thin I barely recognized him. He was holding a violin case in his hand. I was the age he was when I first met him. I had graduated art school the year before and Golda and I had just had our first child. I looked at him a moment then said.

“Herr Major?”
He looked at me with eyes that looked hollow and sad. Eyes that had seen so much endless cruelty. He looked at me a good thirty seconds. Again I said. “Herr Major?”

“No not anymore. Now I am Moises. I told you one day I would get this to you.” He said looking at the violin case.
I opened the screen door and took his hand and led him into our living room. He sat down softly on the couch. The case beside him.

“Would you play me a song?” He asked me so softly I could barely hear him.

I took the violin from the case and I start to play one I recalled he loved. I watch him close his eyes and tears slipping from them as I play. Golda comes to see what is going on as I haven’t played in years. She glances at the man sitting on our couch. She recognized him immediately. Even though his hair was prematurely gray and she looks at him and goes to him and sits on his lap as she did as a child. She wraps her arms around him and kisses his cheek.

I watch as neither say a word yet seemed to communicate so very much.

“Would you braid my hair?” She finally says to him.

A tear escapes his eye and she goes and gets a brush and comes back carrying a ribbon. One of the many he gave her so many years ago.

“You must call Channa and your mother.” She says as she sits on his lap like the little girl she used to be. I watch and chuckle as she reaches back and squeezes his cock. He smiles a bit and braids her hair.

Once I called my mother and Anna and the rest everyone was there very quickly. Channa arrived first. When she saw him first she ran to him and hugged him hard and long. After that we had a very impromptu party for him. Once everyone got there the baby woke from the noise. He was just a year maybe a bit older. Golda goes to tend to the baby and she brings him out. The major looks at him and tears slip form his eyes. Golda puts him in his arms and he looks at him and smiles. I recall it like it was yesterday. He holds him and kisses his forehead. Tears streaming from his eyes.

“He is so beautiful. The perfect combination of you both.”
Golda smiles and says. “His name is Hans.”
“You should have chosen a better name.”
“I cant think of a better name then of the man who gave us our freedom.”

“Bah.” He says and kisses the babies forehead.

Later that night after everyone had gone the major and I were sitting at the kitchen table him smoking a cigarette before he quit and having a cup of coffee which he never quit. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a black velvet bag and hands it to me.

“These are yours.”
I open the bag and inside is a ton of gemstones.

“I am sorry I had to sell some to help others. I know you said to but, I tried to do it all on my own. I can die now knowing you are truly happy and truly free.”
He gets up to leave.

“Where are you going?”

“It doesn’t really matter now. I have lived my life. I have done what I set out to accomplish. I have returned to you what is yours. You know I did and still do truly love you?”
“Yes I know. I feel the same.”
“Please stay a while longer.” I say taking his arm as I did as a boy to get my way with him. He sits back down.

“Herr Major How many people did you help to escape?”
He sighs and looks at me shaking his head.

“Not enough. It was never enough.” As tears streamed down his cheeks.

I found out after he died that he helped one hundred and sixty eight families escape. I read his diary and letters from the families he had helped. Hans “Moises” Stayed with us for the first year he was in America. He rarely spoke to anyone except Channa. Channa could always get him to talk. She would take his hand as she did as a little girl and take him on walks and she would pry information out of him. The poor man did all he could to help families escape but, had a horrible guilt that he played a part in some of the worlds worst atrocities. I don’t think he ever came to terms with it. He never thought of all the lives he saved and the generations of people who are here because of him. He always thought about all of them he couldn’t save. When Channa got married I think I had never seen him happier. Channa had him give her away. I heard him threaten her husband with his life if he ever abused his wife or took her for granted. That he has gotten the best girl in the entire world to be his wife. The Major and Channa formed a very special bond over the years. He loved me and all the others. But, he adored her. She could never do any wrong in his eyes. I think until the day he died he still saw her as the little girl sitting on his lap so many years ago in Germany. He doted on her more than her own father would have of that I am sure. When he died Channa was so moved with grief she couldn’t talk without crying for a month. I found in his things a yellowed piece of paper in a child’s handwriting.

Herr Major:
Ich werde dich ewig lieben.

Channa

In English I will love you forever. She did too. She died last year a happy woman. She had seven children the major loved with all of his heart. On her death bed she said I will soon be with the major again. I wonder if I will be a little girl again? Then she passed away with a smile on her face. We are all old now and many of those he saved have since passed on. However, at his funeral there were thousands of people all of whom wouldn’t have been here without his compassion. He never would believe all the good he did. He never truly knew the true joy a little chocolate bar gave to the children in the camp. He knew they enjoyed it. But, he never understood it wasn’t the chocolate they tasted. But freedom.