Date: Fri, 19 Jul 2002 13:24:14 EDT
From: AmateurishWriter@aol.com
Subject: My Little Star Gazer - Part One

Warning: The following story is a work of fiction.  It is a fantasy.  It
never happened, except in the author's imagination.  This story may contain
sex between a legal aged teenage boy and a man.  The author does not
encourage or condone sex between adults and little children. If you are
underage, or this is illegal where you are, you already know what you're
supposed to do.  Delete this file and find something else.  If this kind of
story turns you off, delete this file and find something else.  If you're
looking for a story that has someone having sex in every other sentence,
this one is not it.

The author retains the copyright for this story.  Placing this story on a
commercial web site or in print without the authors permission is a
violation of that copyright.

Comments to AmateurishWriter@aol.com, pro and con and of a constructive
nature, will be gratefully received and acknowledged, if possible.  Flamers
will be ignored.

******************
M.A.R.C. Readers - Please forgive the delay but I have held off on further
chapters  so that I can put up the first part of this new story.  As you
will read below, it is a special love story for a very special online
friend who I care for very much.
******************


			   My Little Star Gazer

Background Information

I feel blessed to get so many friendly e-mails from all of you readers.
Thank you all so very much for your helpful criticism, enthusiastic support
and appreciation.  My writing is still only amateurish but you make me feel
as though maybe, just maybe, my dream of writing a book one day might come
true.

One young reader wrote to me a while back and we have since become great
online friends.  As a matter of fact, I've come to care for him very
deeply.  Despite great adversity, his delightfully bright and poetic view
of life and the world we live in is an inspiration to me.  What follows is
a love story.  It's for him, my little star gazer.


Part One - Arrival in America
Chapter One - A Surprise Phone Call

Wednesday nights on television are one of my best nights.  I grill a steak
or some chicken, make a nice salad and watch "Enterprise", the Star Trek
prequel and then "The West Wing".  I'd cut off my right hand before missing
either of those TV shows.

As I've been known to fall asleep, no matter how exciting the shows are, I
always set the VCR to tape them.  Usually, while these two shows are on, I
also decline to answer the phone.  Isn't that why God invented answering
machines?

This evening was no exception, I started the VCR when I sat down to enjoy
my shows.  Not ten minutes into "Enterprise", I got a call.  I must have
dozed off because when the phone rang, I was so startled I nearly fell out
of my Lazy-Boy recliner.  As I say, normally I would let my machine pick it
up but, this night, something made me lean over and mute the sound system
as I picked up the telephone.

"Hello?"  I tried not to sound too sleepy or grumpy.

"Hi John!  Surprise!"  This was followed by a slightly uncontrollable high
pitched gleeful giggle.

"We just arrived at our hotel in the City!"  It was a sweet young voice.
Asian sounding but with a hint of a British accent as well.  It was a
deliciously musical and adolescent voice.

"Tosh?"  There was another giggle on the other end of the phone.  "Tosh?
Is that you?"

Tosh and I had talked on the phone before but they had always been short
conversations as Tosh didn't like talking or telephones much and the
distance was so great.

"Yes!  Suurrrprrriiiiissse!"  His sweetly infectious giggles continued.  He
was so obviously enjoying my disbelief at hearing his voice from so close
by.

"What ... Oh my."  I gulped in some air as my heart raced.  "What are you
doing in the City?"

"Well, that's a fine way to welcome a friend to America!"  He teased.

"I'm sorry but ... Oh my Lord."  I paused again.  "Of course!  Welcome,
welcome.  But ... but ..."

"Oh, what fun!  I know, I should have warned you but I couldn't resist
surprising you."  There was a slight pause and then Tosh hesitantly
continued.  "My Mum ... would like you to ... to come to dinner with us
tomorrow night.  She ... wants to meet you."

Now my jaw really hit the floor.  "Your ... your Mother?"  I mumbled,
whispering in dread.

"Yes.  That is part of the surprise."  He sounded excited again.  "Do
remember me talking about going to university in the States?"

"Yes, yes I do.  But that's a year or two away isn't it?  I was confused.

"Well, as you know, I was in an advanced class at school.  When I had a
chance to make advanced application to universities here ... well, I
thought I'd try it and see what happened."

"Oh wow.  You were accepted?"

"Yes and the university is only a 20 minute drive from you.  Sooooo, here I
am!"  His infectious giggling resumed.  "Surprise!"

"Oh my.  I'm still trying to take all of this in.  Wow, congratulations!"

"So, can you have dinner with us at the hotel?"  I could hear the eagerness
in his voice.

"Yes.  Sure."  My mind spun as I tried to think.  "What time?"

"Can you be here by 7:00 p.m.?"

"Yes, that's no problem."  I hesitated but I had to ask; "Tosh ... does
your Mother ... you know ... does she know, well, does she know how we
became acquainted?  Does she know about me ... you ... us ... is there an
us?"

More delightful giggles.  "No John.  She doesn't know how we really became
acquainted.  She just thinks that we are fellow writers who met online.
Oh, and to answer your last question, which made me smile, ... yes, of
course there is an us."  I could hear another soft burst of giggles that
sounded a little shy this time.

"You are so sweet Tosh.  I can't wait to see you."  I felt a warmth spread
over my face and neck and start down my body.

"And I can't wait to see you too.  How will you come into the City?"

"Oh.  I think the train is best."

"Cool.  Our hotel is attached to the station.  Can I meet you there?"

"Yes.  Hold on a sec, I think I have a schedule here some place ..."  I
slipped into my quiet mumbling mode.  "Let me see ... ah, here it is."

"Where should I meet you?"

"Okay.  In the middle of the main part of the station there is a message
board.  We can meet right under it.  It looks like my train would get in at
6:20 p.m."

"You know me, I have to be careful not to get over excited.  I am so happy
John.  But I am nervous too.  This city is so big."

"Tosh.  You're thousands of miles from your tropical paradise home.  Of
course you are excited and nervous."

"You always make me feel better John, I love you."

"I love you too Tosh, very much."

"And tomorrow I will know how it feels to hug my big bear."

The warmth completed it wash over and through my chest and stomach and took
possession of my privates as it had done so often even when we IM'ed or I
just read one of Tosh's wonderfully poetic and love filled e-mails.

I laughed with joy ... and a little passion.  "Yes Tosh, it will be
wonderful to hug you too for real."

"My Mum just came in so I must go.  See you tomorrow."

"Okay you little imp!"  Now it was my turn to giggle.


Chapter Two - Six Months Earlier

"You've got mail!"

"I love the sound of that," I thought to myself.  "Even after a dozen years
of hearing it."  Sometimes though, when sitting at my computer, I actually
find myself talking to it ... thinking out loud.  For sanity's sake, I
suppose.

"Okay.  Let's see what mail we have here.  Hmmm, 'androids' the subject
line says.  Sounds like a fan of my story 'M.A.R.C.'.  Okay, I'll read that
first."

Click.

"Hi! John, May I call you John?  My name is Tosh, Marc's story is very
sweet ..." and on he went.  His observations ranged from complementary to
semi-critical.  Not that I mind constructive criticism, I don't, it's just
that the boy's writing style was a bit unusual and my first thoughts were
to send off a polite response and that would be it.  And that's just what I
tried to do but I ended up saying quite a lot.

Another e-mail soon appeared and I found it quite intriguing so I answered
yet again.  Within a few days I found myself captivated by this sweet and
gentle yet highly intelligent boy.

What followed, over the next few months, was a mix of curiosity,
imagination, creativity, sensitivity, happiness, sadness, kindness, caring,
silliness, philosophy, theology, fantasy, sex, controversy, pathos,
wistfulness and more, much more.  Then, ever so gradually I found that I
was falling in love.

Over those months, with at least one e-mail every day, I learned a great
deal about this wonderfully diverse young man.  Tosh is short for Toshiya
(Pronounced Toe' shy yah with the accent on Toe).  His mother is of
Japanese decent but they live in Fiji where she owns and operates a very
exclusive vacation resort.  Tosh's last name is Bartlett.  His father, who
passed away when he was just a toddler, had been a very successful British
financier and world class sailboat ocean racing yachtsman.

In addition to his father's death, Tosh has suffered some other tragedies
along with the accompanying emotional turmoil, has a perceptual handicap
and, due to his surprising intellect, has suffered both teasing and
shunning by his classmates.  Despite all this and the natural sadness and
loneliness that comes with it, he has been able to maintain a sprightly,
mostly positive personality.  Oh, he has his bad moments, don't we all?
But, he loves to be mischievous and devilish and is able to do so and still
be kind, caring and respectful of others and their feelings.

He wrote of his adventures in the countryside near his mother's resort, of
their shopping trips into the city, of his help with the guests and, of
course, of his studies and the subjects that stimulated his mind the most.
All of his writing was intertwined with his sweetness and growing affection
for me.  He wrote with colorful and poetic imagination, putting everyday
activities into such beautiful words and phrases that the simplest things
became grand tapestries and great adventures.  Reading his e-mail was
intoxicating.

Eventually, our trust grew.  He confided in me and I in him.  We opened up
our pasts and shared both sad and happy memories.  We traded pictures and I
was terrified that one look at me would cool the warmth that was growing
between us.  But, it didn't and a sighed in great relief.

Our trust grew and one day he asked if he might have my phone number or if
I would call him.  He just wanted to hear my voice ... little did he know
how much I had been wanting to hear his as well.

Now, this was a momentous request as Tosh had told me that he was a very
quiet boy.  He didn't talk much, even with his Mother.  The reason being
his perceptual difficulty.  He sometimes had trouble forming his thoughts
into words and sentences.  I had seen it with his IM's.  It would sometimes
take him a while to type an answer to a question that I had asked.  But, I
was always patient.  And, my patience was always rewarded.

Eventually we talked on the phone but only a couple times.  However, I
think it led to a strong feeling of trust between us.  Soon Tosh was
thinking about the future and his attending university here in the states.
Naturally I thought it was a grand idea as I might eventually be able to
meet my sweet Tosh in person.  I offered whatever assistance that I could.
He was very grateful, and tactful as well, when I did clarify that I
couldn't help very much financially.  However, I was insistent about his
being welcome in my home as often and for as long as he'd like.

And that set the stage for Tosh's surprise phone call.


Chapter Three - Dinner In The City

My train pulled in right on time and I walked out into the main part of the
station.  The rush hour was calming down and the station wasn't as crowded
as it might have been just an hour before.  So, as I entered the large room
I could see all the way to the other end and standing, or rather pacing,
under the message board was the cutest, most delightful looking young man
and he hadn't seen me yet.  It had to be Tosh.  He sure looked just like
his picture though dressed for the city.

He had on tan dress slacks, a red golf shirt and a dark blue blazer.  I was
just thinking how handsome he looked as his head turned towards me and his
eyes lit up and went wide.  In two strides he was running full tilt and in
five more it seemed he had launched himself into the air.  The room was
suddenly, in my mind anyhow, devoid of people and the only sound was the
soft uttering of my name; "Joooohhhhhnnnnnnnn".  It was as if he said it to
himself.  Like a special treat.  No one, if there was indeed anyone else
there, seemed to hear or even exist.

I stopped, set my feet, opened my arms and braced myself for his impact.
But, his arrival was as light as a feather.  His arms swept around my waste
as mine closed about his shoulders and he nestled his face into my chest.
I buried my nose in his soft hair and kissed the top of his head.  He
smelled wonderful.  Like springtime.  Like shampoo.  Like a boy.  My
heartbeats broke the speed of light.

"Oh my sweet Tosh."  I whispered to him through his hair.

He tilted his head back and the corners of his lips raised up and his eyes
twinkled.  "I knew it was you ..."  He paused as he spoke as if trying to
find the words.  " ... the moment I spotted you."

His arms loosened from my waste, we separated and remerged side by side, my
arm over his shoulders and his around my waste.  It was as natural this
first time as if we had been doing it for years.  We started to walk slowly
toward the concourse that led to the hotel.  As we silently moved along,
all the busy people gradually reappeared and I chuckled to myself.

"What is it John?"  His voice was so ... so ... well, musical was the only
way I could think of to describe it.

"Huh?"  His question and my thoughts got in the way of my tongue.  "Oh.
All the people ... they just appeared ... I mean ... I guess I just forgot
they were here."

He giggled at my foolishness.

I sighed and squeezed his shoulder against me gently.  "Man!  It is so good
to see you, to meet you, to hold you.  Tosh, this is an unbelievably happy
surprise.  I hoped and dreamed but never thought for sure and now here you
are and we fit together like ..."

"John."  He interrupted my running on and looked up at me with a small
smile on his lips.  "I know."

We came to the stairs and started up.  On the landing, half way up where
the stairs turned back on themselves to complete the climb to the next
level, Tosh stopped.  We were alone for a moment.  He placed a hand on each
of my shoulders, rose up on his tiptoes and brought his lips to mine in a
quick soft brush of a kiss.  Then he pulled back and smiled through a deep
blush.  "I love you, John."

I brought my hand up to the side of his handsome face and cupped his soft
smooth cheek.  My fingers caressed his ear and I looked deep into his dark
eyes.  "I love you too my little star gazer."  His smile broadened as he
gazed back up at me.

Just then we heard footsteps start down and our first private moment
together came to a hasty end.  We turned the corner and started up the
stairs again but we each seemed to sense that continuing arm in arm, as
before, was not the thing to do.  So we climbed the rest of the way side by
side.  Sure enough, at the top of the stairs stood a strikingly beautiful
Japanese lady.  She was clearly Tosh's mother and had passed on her beauty
on to her son.

My face flushed.  Here I was in the presence of this very dignified and
attractive lady and just a moment ago I had accepted a very special first
kiss from her son.  I was at a loss and grew more nervous with the rise of
each step.  How do I greet her?  What do I call her?  How can I possibly
admit and explain to her the true and complete nature of my love for her
son?

Fortunately, my poor physical conditioning came in handy.  As we neared the
top step I was enough out of breath to explain my flushed face and seeming
lack of words.

"I found him, Mum."  Tosh was pulling me up the last couple steps.

"I can see Toshiya."  She smiled warmly at me.  "So you are John, my
Toshiya's writer friend."

Still at a loss as to how to greet her I decided to be very American and
stuck out my hand.  "I guess that's me all right.  It is a pleasure to meet
you Mrs. Bartlett."

Her hand was tiny, cool and dry but firm, as it took mine.  "Please John.
I prefer Sachiko."  She shook my hand twice and gently released it with
another warm smile.  "Would you like a drink in the bar, John?  Or shall we
go right in to the dining room?"

Ah.  I thought.  A small test?  "Let's go into the dining room.  I'm not
much of a drinker."

"No?"  We started off in the direction of "The Lobster Corral", a cleverly
named surf and turf restaurant.  "I thought everyone in this area of the
states had a Martini before every meal."  There was the hint of a
good-natured chuckle in her voice and I knew that I was going to like
Tosh's Mum.

"No ma'am.  I used to have my share but out grew the need.  One drink at a
party is my limit.  One or two glasses of wine on occasion or a cold beer
on a hot day or during a good sail, but that's about it."  I found myself
blushing, feeling as though I had just made a speech.

Passing through the entrance to the dining room, the Head Waiter signaled
Mrs. Bartlett and we were led to a table off to one side, almost in a
private alcove.  Tosh properly helped seat his mother and then took the
chair to her left, indicating that I was to sit on his left opposite his
Mum.  Ever so slightly he shifted his chair a little closer to mine.

We made social small talk as the waiter went about his business quietly and
efficiently.  A light wine, salads, small entrees and, finally, coffees all
around.  Some where during my Sole Almondine a small hand started to
occasionally brush my right thigh.  By the time we got our coffee Tosh's
hand was resting comfortably about half way up from my knee.  It was almost
as if he was telling me that I was his.  I loved it.  Each time I reached
for my napkin I patted the back of his hand and his smile would light up.

As the coffee was served Sachiko, as I now felt at ease calling her by her
first name, got down to the purpose of our meeting.

It seemed that Tosh had not been faint in his praise, building me up in his
mother's eyes.  I was his American friend and now, it seems, a trusted
father figure.  She explained that the university could provide whatever
year round accommodation that he would need but that it was Tosh's wish
that I be his surrogate parent while he was here in America.  I had
suspected as much since Tosh's surprise phone call and was very happy that
he felt comfortable enough in our relationship to suggest this to his
mother.  In addition to being thrilled with the idea, I was deeply moved,
flattered and honored that he valued my friendship so highly and trusted me
so completely.  I insisted that my house be his home away from home
whenever he felt the need to get away from the stress of his studies.

Tosh would have a student visa and, because he was 16 and not 18, I was to
be listed as his sponsor in the States.  There were no legal
responsibilities, I was more an unofficial liaison between our government
and his.  My address would be his official address but he would live at the
college.  He would come home to my house for some weekends and short
holidays and back to Fiji for long ones.

"Sachiko."  I studied her as I spoke.  "I am impressed by the ease with
which you are doing this for Tosh.  I'm not sure that many parents in this
country would send their child off to a stranger quite so easily."

She chuckled with a touch of reproach.  "John, Americans much too easily
switch between being over protective and too permissive when it comes to
their children.  It confuses and often angers them.  Tosh is a very
intelligent, sensitive, mature and careful boy.  If he trusts you then I am
confident that you are worthy of my trust as well."

I blushed yet again.  "I thank you for your confidence ... and you too,
Tosh."  His hand slid up my thigh an inch and he smiled as he gently
squeezed.  "But 16 is young, don't you think?"

"Tosh told me of your Grandfather's coming to America," she gave me a
questioning look.  "Tell me John, how old was he when he left Norway
alone?"

I laughed.  "16 and you're right of course."  With her point taken, we
continued discussing things in more detail.

Sachiko gave me their schedule for the weekend.  She was taking Tosh out to
the university tomorrow for a meeting with the administration and a late
lunch with the Dean of Foreign Students.  After lunch they would get a tour
of the campus.  Then, it was agreed, Tosh and his Mum would come to my home
for a light barbecue supper.  Afterwards, she would return to the city to
do some shopping, tour some museums and take in a show on Saturday evening.
Tosh would spend the weekend with me and then Sachiko would return early
Sunday afternoon to pick him up.  They would fly back to Fiji very early on
Monday morning.

I could tell that he was very happy and excited because his hand was
alternately rubbing and squeezing my thigh.  It was all I could do to
remain composed.  Finally, I had to put my hand over his to stop him.  When
his Mum excused herself to go to the ladies room, I had to speak quietly to
Tosh.

"Tosh, I've enjoyed your hand there all evening but if you don't stop I
won't be able to stand without embarrassment."  I winked at him.

His answer to me was a series of devilish giggles and squeezes.  Then, with
obvious reluctance, Tosh brought his hand up onto the table.  "I just
needed to ... to ... I don't know, I've looked and waited so long for
... for you."

"Well, here I am.  Real as can be and you can trust that I will be here for
you."  I needed to change the subject as I was quickly getting too
emotional.  "What would you like me to show you this weekend?" I looked at
him expectantly.

Slowly his face brightened and his smile grew wide.  "Everything," and then
his grin took on a decidedly devilish look.

I knew just what he meant and was thinking but laughed as I decided to
tease him a little.  "Are you sure?  That's a tall order.  Maybe just the
beach and the town and the park where I walk.  I could introduce you to the
ducks that I have written you about.  Then maybe dinner and a movie ..."

"You know what I mean."  He interrupted waggling a finger at me and
smirking.  "You're teasing me."

"I suppose I do and I suppose I am."  I giggled.  "It's a long weekend.
How about a nice walk when your mother leaves after supper tomorrow night.
Maybe the beach?  I'm sure we will find that quite nice."

Now he turned more to face me and I could see the urgency in his eyes.  "I
need you so much John.  I just need you to hold me and make me feel safe
and happy."

I patted his hand but I wanted to cup his cheek with my hand and run my
fingers through his soft dark hair.  I looked around but there were too
many people, too close.  "Tomorrow, Tosh ... tomorrow."  I sighed as I
looked into his dark eyes nearly brimming over with tears of frustration,
need and yes, love.

Just then Sachiko returned and we returned to small talk.  Tosh properly
kept his hand on the table.  I found myself thinking about how I missed the
contact with him.

"What time is your train, John?"  Sachiko's question broke into my pleasant
thoughts.

I looked at my watch.  "I have about 25 minutes."

She smiled at Tosh.  "Toshiya, why don't you walk with John to his train
and then come up to the rooms.  We have a busy day tomorrow."

"Yes, Mum."  His voice sounded tiny, almost near tears.

He gave me a sad glance.  I looked back at him and could see the tears
brimming in his eyes.  Sachiko reached across the table and placed her soft
cool hand on my arm.  He's very sensitive John.  I can tell he's already
quite fond of you.

"I ... "  I blushed deeply.  " ... the feelings are mutual."

I clumsily offered to pay for the meal but Sachiko politely declined and
sent us off, back to the station and my train.

As we started down the stairs to the station Tosh slipped his arm around my
waste again.  I got a lump in my throat as I put my arm over his shoulders.
We were only saying good-bye for less than 24 hours and yet my heart ached.

When we found ourselves standing at the head of my track he stepped back
and looked up at me.  "If I could, I'd go with you right now."

I smiled.  "Well, you could you know.  I mean, I could take you to meet
your Mum at the university in the morning."

"Yes, that's is what I was thinking too but it would leave my Mum alone and
she will be alone soon enough."

"You are a very kind and thoughtful son Tosh and that makes me love you
even more."  I placed my hand at the curve of his shoulder and neck and ran
my thumb affectionately over the softness of him behind his ear.  He tilted
his head over it as if it tickled and slowly closed and reopened his eyes
in obvious pleasure.  He melted into my arms.

People began passing and giving us odd glances as they walked onto the
platform.  Then it was time for me to go.

"I will see you tomorrow, my boy."  I whispered in his ear.  "I love you."

He pushed himself away and hesitated at arms length.  "I ... I love you so
much."  Then he turned and strode stiffly away with all the discipline,
bravery and dignity that he could muster.

Next: Part Two - A Weekend In The Country