Chapter 12 : Honour.

This story is fictional based on fictional characters. Any similarity to any person living or dead is coincidence. This story may contain man/teen boy or man/preteen boy or teen/preteen boy sex. It may contain no sex at all. I haven't decided yet.

If this is legal for you to read and is the sort of stuff you enjoy reading then read and enjoy. If this is not legal for you to read and/or is not the sort of stuff that you enjoy then do not read. You have the choice.

Email comments/questions to thunderchild@fastmail.fm

In honour and memory

of the many men, women and children,

who have selflessly laid down their lives

that another may continue to live.

It's been 3 of weeks since I last wrote. A lot has happened.

A few days ago we had the funeral for officer Jane Oliver. She finally lost her battle for life a week ago, a result of the injuries she received the night of the attack. It was a very large funeral, with hundreds of people there. She was buried with full honours in her home town. A large state funeral.

Many people spoke, but few made as big an impact as David. He spoke about how many officers on the force these days cause so much ridicule and and problems for their fellow officers, but how so many more are like her -- ready and willing to put their lives on the line to protect a member of the public -- even someone who many people believe should not have any protection. By the time he finished, I doubt that there was a dry eye in the audience. He closed by turning to her coffin, kneeling before it, and thanking her for her sacrifice and asking her family's forgiveness for the mistakes he made early in his life that led to it.

It was the first funeral I had been to since the death of my father 12 years ago. To long ago for me to remember it, so it was kind of a new experience to me.

After the service, Miss Oliver's parents came up and thanked David for his attendance and kind words. He, in turn thanked them for bringing up such a brave daughter, and told them how sorry he was for their loss. Her father then broke down, and almost collapsed. David grabbed him and tried to hold him up, but he's still pretty weak. But, as ever, I was at his side and took over. I helped Mr Oliver over to a nearby seat and sat down with him. I felt kinda strange, but I knew that the right thing to do was just hold him as he let it out. I've only ever done this for David and Bob, and never for a complete stranger, so it's pretty new for me. I felt awkward and almost embarrassed at first, but I realised that there was no reason for me to feel like that. He has after all just lost his daughter, and we were at her funeral. So I just did as David has done for me, held him until he was finished. His wife was nearby with friends of hers, who were doing the same for her.

We were there for hours after the service. Many more people came up to speak to David and thank him for his words, including several from the police and other emergency services represented there.

David was getting seriously tired, and I was finally able to drag him out of there, but not before being accosted by one officer who let his guard down.

He stopped us in the car park, intent on confronting David, and having another go at getting rid of him.

"I hope you're happy with what you've done, you piece of shit. If you had packed up and left town like you were told to do, Jane would still be alive now. She would not have died foolishly protecting the life of some piece of crap who will only go on to rape another child. If you stay around, we will get you. I'll be watching. But then, I guess you'll be moving soon won't you? Like, by the end of the week?"

I caught a glance from David, and saw that he was looking towards Captain Alister -- who was nearby talking to someone with his back to us. I quietly slipped away and left this officer to continue digging a hole to bury his career in, while I went to inform Captain Alister that he should come over before David left.

When we got back to David, the officer and he seemed to be talking calmly. When the officer saw the Captain, he changed tack, and pretended he was having a friendly chat with him. The Captain thanked David for his words, and said he'd probably call round during the week, then headed off. For a moment I was disappointed, and thought the officer had managed to fool his Captain into thinking that everything was alright. But then I realised that the Captain hadn't left, he'd just gone past a couple of people and doubled back, until he was standing behind the officer, listening to everything that was said.

The officer turned to me, finished with David for the moment. "And you, you little faggot. Don't think that you're going to be safe around here again either. If you don't leave with this piece of shit, I'll make sure that we find something on you, somehow. Maybe we need to plant it ourselves. Perhaps you need some child porn on your computer? I'm sure I can arrange a complaint and a search. We'll get you and this monster you call a lover soon, don't worry about that!"

That was it for me, I'd had enough. "Why don you just go back to your boyfriend and leave us alone. You think you're better than us, while you're hiding your own real feelings? Come on, admit it. The only reason you're like this is because you lust after little boys yourself, and you want to hide it!"

"You little shit, I'll..."

As he spoke, he raised his hand to hit me. But he stopped mid-sentence as Captain Alister grabbed his arm from behind. The officer whirled around and blindly punched at whoever had grabbed him. Shock registered on his face as he recognised just who it was he'd hit.

"Captain! I'm sorry, I was just..."

"Save it Dan. Nothing you can say will cover this. Damn. You were such a good officer! Young, but full of promise. Why they hell did you have to turn out like this? My office, tomorrow morning. We'll discuss this, and whether or not you should be charged and arrested. It will also be over to Mr Denton and Master Hastings as to whether or not they will press charges, but you are out of a job. My office, 9am tomorrow. Don't make me send anyone to look for you, or you will be arrested and charged."

I couldn't help but pity the officer as he walked away, he looked so sad and close to tears. I guess he had an affect on David as well, as David decided to take some time to talk to the Captain about him before we finally left.

"Captain, how many are you down now?"

"15 all up now. 9 Officers, 4 Sergeants, and two Senior Sergeants. There's those you know about, as well as a couple who were involved in some sort of vigilante group. Hopefully no more, as it's really starting to bite!".

"I can imagine it would. Tell me, do you think this latest one is worth salvaging?"

Captain Alister thought for a moment before responding. "Well, he has a clean record, hasn't shown any aggressiveness or anything before today, and has been excellent in his work over the year he's been with me. He was actually up for review and probable promotion at the end of the month. And... And, I was growing quite fond of him. He's the last one I would've expected to pull a stunt like this, and I really will hate to see him go".

"Captain, if you don't mind. I have a few ideas that might work, and might be able to salvage his career. I'll think it over tonight, then come and see you in the morning before your meeting. What time do you get in?"

"Well, normally I get in around 10 to 9, but I guess I could get in a bit earlier. Say, 8:30?"

"Ok, we'll be there."

We parted ways, and I got David home. He headed straight to bed, and was asleep within a few minutes. He'd had a hell of a long day. I joined him shortly after, since I'd also had a long day. He didn't even stir as I climbed in beside him, and spooned in behind him. As I drifted off, I realised that we'd never been in this position before, he's always been behind me. Now I know why he loves it so much!

I woke a few hours later, almost midnight. David wasn't with me, so I headed out to the kitchen. He was having a coffee, and reading the day's paper. He smiled when he saw me.

"Hello gorgeous, have a good sleep?"

I just smiled and headed for the coffee pot. I haven't been drinking it long, and don't really like the taste, but there are times when I need a bit of a lift, and this was one of those times.

We spent the next hour talking about the officer and David's plans for the morning's meeting. We both felt that the Captain had suffered enough losses in his force, and also both felt that, with a little work, we could salvage this officer's career, while helping out a few other people as well. David said he was also thinking of something else that would cost us some money, but he felt that it would be welcomed by the community, if it could somehow be done. He didn't go into details though.

After an hour or so of talking, we decided to go back to bed and continue our conversation there. It makes it so much more special, being able to share the bed, and the warmth of our bodies, and the warmth of the love we feel for each other. Wacko or not, Jacko was right on that interview -- there is nothing more loving than sharing your bed with someone else.

The next day we were up at 7:30 so we could be in to the police station by 8:30 to meet the Captain. It was a little harder than normal, after the day before as well as the long talk that night, but we were up and away in time -- just -- arriving at 8:25.

We were soon seated with Captain Alister in his office, sharing coffee and biscuits, and discussing Dan Travis, and a few other related issues.

David told the Captain his ideas. Firstly, he felt that Dan Travis had the right foundations to be a very good officer, but he would need some work. His homophobic nature was one issue that had to be dealt with, David was quite firm on that. David suggested that he be assigned to work as a volunteer with a local group that supports gay teens, and that his remaining in the force would depend on his performance with the group. The captain accepted this, but asked about my comment the day before -- was he likely to be anything of a risk?

David thought for a few minutes before speaking.

"I've had a lot of experience with psychologists and psychiatrists, and I am aware that some believe that the more someone fights against a particular trait in others, the more likely it is that they are covering such a trait in themselves. I've also spent a lot of time with people in the "boylove" community. I know that the numbers of us who have actually done something sexual with children is very low. If Mr Travis is one of us and is in denial, then that could mean an increased risk -- because of his denial he is not equipping himself to cope with being around children. However, if we make sure that things are set up properly, we can minimize the risk, and probably even remove it completely. Maybe we can make Nathan a part of the same group, to keep an eye on him, if you're willing to help other kids come to terms with who they are, and cope with their families?"

He looked at me with raised eyebrows as he finished speaking. I have to say that I am not to sure of the idea, but am not against it. I asked to think it over for a few days first. The idea did seem sound to me -- I could keep an eye on Travis and see how he deals with others in the group, and with me -- and let David and the Captain know if I see any problems.

David continued, suggesting that it should be set up so that Mr Travis is not left alone with any of the kids, that he always has a supervisor with him -- at least for an extended trial period.

They spoke on this for a few more minutes, settling on a minimum of a year for Travis to be with this group, unless there were any problems -- at which point his career would be over anyway. David was kind enough to suggest that all other parts to Travis's career be treated normally -- that his performance reviews be run on time and in the usual manner, without letting his performance the day before have any effect on them. Captain Alister agreed, as it would help to remove any grudges or stresses that Travis might have with this.

Next, David suggested that a trust fund be set up for the familes of officers. Captain Alister rejected this as there are already several such trusts in place. So David suggested his next idea -- work be started on a shelter for abandoned kids, or street kids. He also went as far as to suggest that, after some time working with a volunteer group, if he seemed suitable for such a role, that Travis be given the job of Police Liaison with the shelter - "After all, he may already have a good working relationship with some of the children in the shelter, and by the time it is ready, hopefully he will have a much better attitude to gay teens and be of some real use there".

The Captain felt that it could be a good idea, and asked David to start work on it. He suggested a few people within his own force, CPS, and a couple of lawyers with experience in setting up trusts and funding that David should contact, and promised to write a letter of introduction later in the day as well as set up meetings to help David get this under way.

At this point there was a knock on the door, and Travis entered the room. When he saw us, it was quite clear that he was not happy with us being there. But, through some new-found wisdom or something else, he did not say anything.

The Captain told him to sit down, then started laying things out.

"Dan, do you like your job with us?"

Travis nodded.

"Do you want to keep it, and if so, are you prepared to work?"

"Yes Captain. I would do almost anything to keep my job. But if it means dealing with these two, well, I am not so sure it's worth it."

Anger flashed across the Captain's face for a moment before he took any further action. Then he opened a draw in his desk, pulled out a folder and dropped it on the desk in front of Travis.

"Dan, this is Mr Denton's file. Every detail of his dealings with the police and courts is in here. Unless Mr Denton objects, I want you to read it before we continue. And I want you to pay special attention to the victim impact reports, and all reports since 1995. Is this okay with you David?"

David nodded, and Travis started to read. We sat in silence as he went through the pages. I found it quite entertaining to see the smirk on his face as he read the details of David's court appearances change to a frown as he came across page after page detailing places where David had helped police. I saw "COMMENDATION" in large bold letters across the top of one page, and a questioning look on Travis's face as he looked at the page, then over to David, then to the Captain for a moment, then back to the page and back to the Captain.

"Yes Dan, that was David. He is not the man you think he is. But keep reading" said the Captain.

A few pages later, Travis was clenching his fists as he read, clearly upset about something. I had to look, I had to see what was making him react like this. So I got up to get a glass of water from the nearby cooler, and as I passed I looked at the page in front of Travis. From what little I saw of the header, it was clear that it was a statement that Brooke had given about how much Peter had been hurt by his arrest. Travis was starting to show that he had some compassion, and some sense of justice.

When he had finished reading, he closed the folder and passed it back to the Captain. He then asked to be allowed to speak freely for a moment, to have a chance to speak his mind before the meeting continued. The Captain looked at us for approval. David looked a little unsettled, but said it was OK. I said that I would agree so long as we also got the chance to speak.

"Mr Denton, I can see from your record that you have done a lot to help pollice, even receiving a commendation a few years back for saving the life of a fellow officer and friend after he got into trouble during that flood. For that I thank you but... I also see from your record that you have molested several children in your life, and that some of them were quite hurt by your actions. I do not believe that anything you have done has changed the fact that you are a convicted child rapist. I cannot see anything here that could give me reason to ever think a nice thought about you. You have raped children, and no doubt want to do it again. Did you know that Jane was a friend of mine? She died because YOU raped children, and because YOU would not leave town. And as to your little mate here, you are nothing but a fag, and if you hang out with someone like Denton, you will become like him, so not only are you a fagot, but you will also rape little boys at some point. I don't see why I should have to deal with you, or be expected to be nice to you. "

The Captain started to speak but David raised his hand to stop him. We sat in silence as David thought things over for a moment. Then he did something that took all of us by surprise. First, he held out his hand to Travis and said "I understand your feelings, and hold no grudge towards you.". Travis rejected the offered hand. David then came over and stood behind me.

"Mr Travis, I can tell you something that probably won't help with someone who is probably in denial about his feelings, however, I will say what I have to say anyway", David reached down and put his arms around me before he continued, "I love Nathan more than I can say. I am comitted to him, and to our relationship. I would not risk that by having sex with some else. There is no person on this earth who can be good enough at sex for me to risk loosing Nathan".

Travis looked shocked at this, and also seemed a little disgusted at our open display of affection. But he said nothing, so David continued.

"I have also known people to react to us as you have done, but only because they were trying to hide those same feelings from themselves. Not always, but often enough. I recommend that you get counseling, and Captain Alistair, I ask that you add this to the conditions of his continuing his career with the police -- that he has regular sessions with a therapist so we can make sure that you will not be a risk to any children, and that you can get any issues you might have sorted out".

The Captain agreed, and David asked me if I had anything to say.

"Yes, I do. Travis, you are a piece of scum as far as I am concerned. If I had my way you would be locked up for the way you treat others. But David has taught me that even arseholes like you can be worth something, and even changed into nice people. Steven O'Donnell was even like you at one point, but now we're friends. Good friends. You haven't had any time to get to know David, to see him as he really is, to see how much he loves boys and how much he fights to help them. You do not know what he has done for me or Bob or even Peter. You haven't seen the cards or gifts that came in from boys he knew years ago, to thank him for his time and love. Nor do you know me, so you have no right nor ability to judge me. I suggest that you spend some time with us and maybe Captain Alistair or Steve, and get to know who we truly are. In fact, Captain, could you also make him do this?."

The Captain said that he'd look into it, then laid down the rest of the conditions on Travis continuing in his career. Travis was not happy, but agreed to all the conditions put before him.

Finally, we left, letting Travis and the Captain go over any remaining details. As he left David turned and said "We're having a BBQ at my place this weekend. You're both invited. No need to bring anything but yourselves and someone else if you wish. But don't bring any aggro, OK?". With that, we left. As we walked out of the station, we could hear the Captains voice as he began to vent his frustration at Travis's actions. I did clearly hear the Captain say that the only reason Travis still had a job with the police was because we asked for it.

We headed home, and David suggested that we try out the new spa pool that had been installed to help with his recovery. I realize that I am still shy when it comes to nakedness, so I changed alone. Even after all this time, I have not let him see my.. well, you know..

When we got into the pool, he asked me to sit in front of him, between his legs. He still had trouble moving, but soon I was leaning gently against his chest, with his arms around me, one hand holding one of my hands, the other one doing something I could not tell.. A moment later the sound of that song that changed so much with me came through the open doorway behind us. For the first time in many months I was again hearing "You Still Smile". But this time, the emphasis was different. I realised that, with all we have been through over the last few months, it is only because we have each other that we can still smile. I melted into him as I began to feel the full force of his love for me, and my love for him, mix and flow through us. I don't know how long it lasted, but it felt like hours. While we still did not do anything sexual, I know we made love. I can still feel it as I write -- physically and emotionally. I don't know how I can handle it when it comes to us finally having sex. As it is, it feels like my balls are about to explode again -- they already did while we were in the pool together and that was just from being close to him, and letting our "spirits" do all the work while we relaxed in each other's love. It was the most beautiful and most powerful thing that I have experienced in my life. It makes me even more anxious to take things to the next level, but a hell of a lot more nervous as well. I know that, at least first time, I probably won't last that long.

And I may not have long to wait.

David has been able to leave the house and move around more freely for just over a week. He still has a long way to go to be fully healed, but he can get around with only the aid of a cane -- so long as he doesn't overdo it. The doctors are confident that he will make a full recovery, but by that time he will have had some 60 operations. Sex is still out of the question unfortunately, but he tells me that at least he is getting better at gripping things with his hands, and maybe we can have some limited fun soon. I can't wait!

Part 1 ends here. Part 2 is under way.

[Again -- apologies for the delay. Things have been quieter between the boy behind Nathan and myself lately, and with him more distant from me, I have less motivation to write. No human language has the words to describe what he means to me, and few could hope to have the words to describe how much it can hurt when he is not with me. It's been almost 2 months since I last saw him even. But it looks as though things are about to improve again, maybe back to the level it was at when I started this..

Why is it that love feels so good, and hurts so much at the same time? I love you "Nathan", with a strength that I could never hope to put into words. I doubt I could ever love again as I love you now.]