Date: Fri, 11 Mar 2005 15:37:47 -0800 (PST) From: T Chase McPhee Subject: Nature Walk 02 The following story is a work of fiction set in the format of reality. Any resemblance to real people is entirely coincidental in nature, and is not meant to accurately reflect persons in towns, cities, or governmental areas, in which the story is staged. If sexual scenes involving male to male relationships offends you, then you should not read this story. Additionally, if you are under 18 years of age, in most states and countries, you are not allowed to read this by law. "Nature Walk" 02 (M/t oral) wriTten by T. Chase McPhee % "This sure doesn't look like our development back home," Mark commented. Even Tom noticed the wall to wall forest. "Sure enough doesn't, Mark. Looks like we get out of mowing the lawn!" "As my mom mentioned to your dad, this area is home to at least seven different evergreens." Philip drew an opinion already of Matt. "You're a smart guy, Matty. What grade are you in?" "Oh, I'm not in high school anymore, Squirt," Matty replied. Philip decided to let Matt slide on the nick, since he liked using Matty's nick. "Right now I'm majoring in business management at West Richland Community College." Bernice butts in, "It's the only way I could keep my Matty from running away from home, is to offer him 'the business'." This threw the grownups into the conversation piece of the startup of Bridges Realty. It separated the front seat and back seat conversations. "What about you, Chad?" Matt inquires. "I'm in my senior year of high school." As the two older teens chat, Tom and Mark draw their attention to some of the activities available, starting out with the nature center. When it switches to soccer, Philip's interest wanes from those two, to the other two. "Know what, Matty?" "Nope. I don't know what is what, Squirt. What?" Matt asks back, confusingly. Philip stops for a moment to think for a few seconds, then proceeds with some startling news. "Chad and I share a room." Matt answers, "No kidding?" "I'm not kidding, even though you lied about Sam, Matty." Chad replied to Matt, "Squirt doesn't get mad. He gets even." Chad didn't know how that would go over with Matt, but set him straight on the new sleeping arrangements. "Each of us have our own room now." "But dad says if I get scared, I can still come in and shack up with you, Chad." "Shack up?" Matt questions. Chad didn't care to even elaborate on the subject of vocabulary, so quickly derailed everyone's trail of thought. He hadn't needed to, since the white elephant swerved right, passing between two iron gates. "Is this our development?" Tom asked. Matt chuckled and then responded, "No. This is the entrance to your home." The word 'home', rang out in five different timbres, as the form of a question. "I don't recall pictures of a wrought iron fence, Bernice?" Barry presented. Bernice chortled, then spoke up, "I left those out on purpose, Barry. I wanted to give you some sort of excitement when we pulled up to your place." Chad's famous line rung out, "That's okay Mrs. Bridges. Dad doesn't get mad. He just gets even!" Once again Bernice presents to Barry, "I wonder where he gets 'that' from?" Barry relaxed, looking out the window at their new grounds. Finally the evergreen woods gave way to a lawn surrounding a rather large abode. They all gasped, except Tom whom complained of the rather large expanse of bladed grass that would have to be mown. "Shit, will you look at that!" Chad called out. Bernice's look shot to Matty's in the rearview. Barry picked up on it right away. "Um, Chad, there's a lady present." Mending his uncalled for manners, he apologized, "Oh, I'm terribly sorry Mrs. Bridges." She kiddingly responded, "Well, if it happens again, Chad, I'm going to have your father take you out back and give you a switching!" Barry, a glint in his eye replies to Bernice's cruel punishment, "Hmm, is that why Matt is so nicely mannered?" The quizzical statement followed with an evil grin. Bernice slapped Barry's forearm, saying, "You sly fox, Barry. You really do get even!" The two front seaters laughed, as the teens smiled. Matt liked how his mom and Mr. Barr were getting along so well. He hoped he'd development some type of lighthearted rapport with Chad, that allowed him to get 'touchy'. "Oh my... oh my... this is nothing like the pictures," Barry gasped, as Bernice led him into the wide entrance way, just inside the small foyer. Bernice again stated her inadequacies as a photographer, "I told you that damn camera doesn't do this place justice." The two heard behind them, from 'Squirt', "Dad, you better take Mrs. Bridges out back and give her a swishin'!" Both adults turned a bright pink, as the five guys laughed their asses off. "Some comedian you are, Squirt!" Matt commented, putting his arm around the ten year old's shoulder. Chad helped out, "Yeah, maybe too funny for his own good sometimes!" He gave Philip a wink. After Tom and Mark quieted down, they awarded their little bro, "Good one, Philip!" Philip loved the 'touching' from all of the guys. Bernice started towards Philip to give him a loving hug, but Squirt clung to Chad instead. "I'm sorry Bernice," Barry apologized. "Oh no. Don't be, Barry. I understand fully. Matty, why don't you show the boys around, while I help familiarize Mr. Barr with their new home?" "Sure Mom," Matt replied. Chad sensed an electric jolt travel down his spine when Matt touched his back, as he herded the group in the opposite direction of the adults. Either it's or the place is haunted. "This is the den. The former owners used it for their TV room mostly." "Heeey," Tom got an idea, "This will be perfect for an entertainment center." Mark reminded him, "Yeah, if we only had one, dah?" Chad noticed Matt mouthing the word, 'dah', but skipped any explanation. "Why don't we keep going, Matty?" "Sure, Chad," The 'real estate agent' replied. Squirt had one last departing question, "Is this chimney wide enough for Santa to get down through?" Wanting to stand around and help Philip with maybe measuring the circumference of the chimney, Chad said, "we'll come back later," then pointed Squirt to the direction in front of him, but behind Matt. Philip thought it interesting when Matt stopped, but Chad kept on going, forcing Philip to become sandwiched in between the 'meat' and 'end of the bread'. "Voila! The kitchen!" The boys gasped at the huge room, whereas the sink area remained in it's own entity, separated by a grand butcher block table, from the cooking area. "Shit!" Chad called out, immediately turning to Matt, "Sorry 'bout that, Matty." He smiled, replying, "It's not a problem with me. Just don't say it around the 'lady'!" Chad took an extended look, at Matt's grin and couldn't help, naturally flexing his eyebrows, moving them up and down. He got the same reaction back from Matt. Then Chad's brighty-whitey's flashed back at Matt. The two didn't need gaydar to sense what each thought. They quickly broke the trance, when Philip tugged on Matt's shirt. "What's up, Squirt?" "My dad doesn't work out, but I have a feeling he's going to get one, after running around this kitchen, to fix us dinner." Matt, providing a royal goof, replied, "My mom is too tired when she gets home for that, so we have a cook." The word 'cook', resounded through the room four times, as each boy picked up on the position. Chad broke the ice, "I don't think that's going to run by my dad too cool, Matty." Matt quickly tried to decipher the meaning, not being a too cool thing. His results were in guessing, considering the tone of Chad's voice. "Well, uh, everybody's different," Matt used for an excuse. Chad decided to work some other thoughts in, since they were on the subject of every being different. "Oh yeah, just like my brothers. We're all different and like different things." It seemed most missed the point, so the conversing went back to the 'cook'. "I'm sure everybody on this side of the mountain doesn't have a cook," Matt fibbed, to get himself off the hook. Instantly, without warning, their dad and Mrs. Bridges appeared through the swinging door. Mrs. Bridges laughed when their dad got swatted on the rebound. "Haa ha haaa... oh, I'm sorry, but I couldn't help laugh at your reaction. You have to remember to move quickly through the doorway or else you get spanked in the as... fanny!" Barry noticed Bernice's almost slip and smiled back. "Hey, Dad?" "Yes, Philip?" He knelt down on one knee to converse with his short-heighted son. "Matty says they've got a cook because Mrs. B is too lazy to cook when she comes home." Chad reminded Matt of the 'evil stare'. "Mom, I swear I didn't say that." Philip contradicted the eighteen year old, "Oh yes you did, Matty. You said your mom was too tired." Barry tried rectifying the incident, telling his ten year old, "Listen son, coming home from work tired is much different than being lazy." Bernice, bent in half, to tell him that she wasn't offended. Philip replied, "That's real good Mrs. B. I would feel terrible if you took Matty out back for a swishin' and he didn't mean what I thought he said." Philip allowed her to muss up his locks, as she smiled. Tom and Mark noticed Chad giving Matt a hand spank, on the fanny, in jest. "I imagine that could hurt like hell, Matty." "Don't knock it til you've tried it, Chad!" 'Strange reaction', Chad thought, but figured he misunderstood something along the way. "I don't suppose you showed them the upstairs, Matty?" "No mother dear!" After breaking their mutual grin, Bernice led the troops up the 'one person' stairway from the kitchen. Unlike the 'double-peopled' stairway from the opening, the entourage needed to ascend single file. Matt loved stepping up behind Chad. "Here's bedroom number one to fight over!" Entering the room, which fit the party of seven easily, Bernice had to convince them that this indeed was not the master bedroom. Right away Tom and Mark began a squabble over each one occupying it. "Now boys. If either one of you can't concede to the other then we'll have to draw straws," their dad reasoned. Chad joked, "Eh, just let them slug it out, dad." "Yeah, thanks for the help, son," Barry retorted, directing it at his eldest. Squirt poked his opinion in, "I don't care, as long as I'm near Chad's room. A room this big could get scary at night!" As they left the large scale single bedroom, it's Bernice who chatted with Philip about being alone in the dark. Barry liked the idea of Bernice's motherly concern and in a sense of weaning Philip away from Chad's paternal instincts. As he walked behind Bernice, guiding Philip, he sensed more trust bestowed upon the woman and less fear, than when she first approached the youngster in the foyer. "Mrs. B, does your cook know how to make Jello and apple pie?" "Yes, what is this about a cook?" Barry asked, thoroughly interested, in case he should get on a lazy kick. "You'll find out sooner of later, Barry, so I'll tell you straight. Not that there's anything wrong with you cooking for your own brood, but we all hire domestic help here, in the neighborhood. Your children might as well know. West Richland Heights is just that... 'rich land'." Chad whispered into an ear, "What's that shit you were trying to pull off, Matty?" He smiled and got his own jolly out of Chad's comment. "I didn't want to hurt your feelings, Chad." "I could tell from the start that you were a sweet fag!" "What tha fuhhh?" Chad knew right away that Matty and he had to have a private conversation. It could be immediately sensed that Matty had been very offended by the 'fag' comment. "Hey, sorry about that, but you and I need to talk." Matty agreed, but had some reluctance, "Yeah, maybe." He didn't know if he liked the way Chad threw some gay remarks around, but then again, being from a different area of the country, figured the culture exchange could be differentiated. "Um, are you boys interested in finishing the tour today?" "Coming mother!" Chad directed to Matty, "Ladies first!" Matty stepped aside to allow Chad in front of him. "Wise ass," Chad commented, softly so that only Matty could take in the remark. Walking about the upstairs, Bernice pointed out the other four bedrooms of the palatial home, plus closets, the main bathroom and then two of the bedrooms that had private baths. Of course, Chad claimed one of the rooms, with the privacy gained in pissing and other acts. "Chad?" "Yeah, Squirt?" "Can I use your bathroom sometimes when Tommy and Mark are hogging ours?" Chad smiled and okayed it, as long as he knocked before entering. That would certainly be true if Matty and he planned on some overnights! "Well, I'm starved," Bernice put the suggestion into the player's field. Of course the idea spread like wildfire. After ditching the baggage inside the front door, the troops piled back into the white elephant, for the trip two doors down. Philip thought he noticed something in the small forest of pines, in the direction of the next home, but the herding back inside the van kept him from investigating. "Heeeey," Philip called out, "this isn't a development like back home." Bernice, again bent over to chat with Philip on the auspices of real estate, just outside the entrance of her and Matty's home. "Of course this isn't like all developments, Philip. None of the houses are the same. Come inside and you will see for yourself." Barry liked the idea of how Philip began opening up to Bernice, taking her hand, as she entered the big home. It had also been good of her to assume a maternal friendship with Philip. Tom and Mark flanked their dad's sides, talking with him as they walked up the flagstone pathway, leading to the front door. "So, dad, are we going to get a cook?" Tom asks. "I'm not sure. It's a possibility that we might be able to swing it, to have a cook for dinners. I think we can fend for ourselves for breakfast and meals on weekends." Mark cuts in, "Do Tom and I have to mow the lawn?" "Hey, I don't want you guys to start to get lazy, like Mrs. Bridges!" "She's a nice lady, isn't she dad?" "That she is, Mark." Tom adds, "I just figured she would dump us at the front door with our luggage and hightail it outta here." Mark answered the remark quite nicely, "I don't think Mrs. B is that kind of lady. She's sorta like mom." "Yeah? How so, Mark?" Tom asked, on the defensive. Barry liked the way the boys were talking about their departed mother and comparing Bernice to her. Tom's remark seemed logical. After the passing of a parent, changing their residency doesn't necessarily warrant a immediate settling of feelings. Barry knew that it would take time and nurturing to at least settle the atmosphere some. The mending process had begun. Barry hoped the change in their lives, moving to West Richland, would help all of them geton with their lives. This fact troubled Barry and he saw that their exposure to Bernice and Matty helped. "If I have to hold this door open any longer, a bear is going to come bolting out of the woods and welcome himself!" Tom and Mark, running ahead of their dad, spoofed on Matty's words, "Coming mother dear!" Barry stood there, hands on his hips, laughing, as Bernice put both boys in a tickling fit, until Barry found his way to the entrance of the 'bears den'. As Barry entered, he became struck by amazement, as much as Tom and Mark when they viewed the open, vaulted ceiling of the contemporary home and the wooded balconies. "This is very nice, Bernice." "Thanks, Barry," she cordially replied, bubbling over in smiles. He then added, "Are you sure you sent us the pictures of the right home?" Right away she replied, "I thought you wanted something more traditional." "Oh, I'm not complaining." "Well, it's not too late to change your mind, Barry." "Hi guys!" Philip appears, like he owns the place, a jug of Gatorade in his hand. "Matty says help yourself to anything in the fridge. That is, except the beer and wine." It's Tom that boldly tells him, "Lead us to it, Squirt!" "Whooooa, wait up there fellas." But Bernice shoos them on, "Don't worry about them. You'll find that Matty and I are very informal people." Bernice then, standing in the middle of the balcony, yells out like a hogcaller, "Matteeeeeee!" "What's up, mom?" the nineteen year old calls down from the wooden, railed in planking. Chad appeared with him, their hair kind of out of whack. "Mr. Barr and I are taking a walk. Take the kids into Donovan's and pick up a dozen or so steaks and anything else the kids want to munch on. I'll leave a couple of bills on the table at the front door." Matty replies congenial, "Okay Mom. No problem." "No problem?" Bernice reiterates, directing it towards Barry. "Um, yes. A phrase we have back east." Bernice tries out the phrase some more. "No problem... no problem. Hmm, I like the sound of that... no problem. I'll have to try that on my clients next time." Arriving at the front door, Bernice opens her handbag, pulling out four fifties. "Oh no, let me treat." Bernice says rather forward, "No way, buster. You might just fall in love with what I'm gonna show you and you're going to need every penny to afford it!" Barry compromised, leaving two fifties, to add to Bernice's. % "C'mon guys, over here," Matty directs the gang towards the three car garage. Philip calls out, "Aren't we going in the white elephant?" However, the four newcomers are quickly swayed from the monstrous animal, to the sleek jaguar. "Shit, this is nice!" Philip says, "Ooooh, I'm gonna tell dad you cursed, Chad!" Tom, the more outspoken, teases, "Then who ya gonna run to at night when the boogedy man comes in your room, Squirt?" Chad could see Philip getting a bit riled up about Tom's lack of sensitivity. "Hey, he can fight his own battles, Tom, so just back off of Squirt here." Philip replied, "You tell'm, Chad!" Their father wouldn't here it from Philip, of the cursing episode. They thought they were headed for the Jaguar, until Matty interrupted, "No guys, this way." "Nice wheels, Matty," Chad commented. Matty replied, "Yeah and the rest of the car is kind of nice, too." Chad repeated to himself, 'Oh boy, do you and I need to talk, Matty!' In no time, they had zipped out of the garage, headed back towards the 'city' of West Richland, in the SUV. % Side by side, the two walked and chatted. "No sidewalks, huh?" "They were going to, but I reminded the developer that this is 'not' a main road and sidewalks would just not fit in with the beauty of the area," Bernice replied. "Nicely forested here." "Yes, that's why I grabbed up the first plot of land and also the largest parcel." "Being a real estate agency can have it's dividends, I suppose." "That it can." Of course Bernice meant it in a different frame of mind. "So quiet, too." "Was it a city that you lived in, Barry?" "Oh no. Country, but not like this. Our house was located in shouting distance to the next home, plus the land had been stripped of most of the trees when the developer came in. Crying shame." "I know what you mean, Barry. It's happening all over the world. The landscape is being stripped in the name of vanity. Then they wonder why communities are washed away in floods. I mean, a tract of land leveled by a forest fire is one thing, but manmade deforestation is a sin." "Looks like somebody coming down the hill." "That's Stevie Clark out for his run. Let's meet up with him, I'll introduce you." Barry's amazement caused him to grin, as Bernice took off like a bat out of hell, in the runner's direction. He definitely knew now that Bernice was no slacker. "Steeevieeee!" That hogcalling voice rang out, loud even to cause a flock of forrested birds to take flight. "Stevie Clark, wait up!" The running figure, switched directions and headed towards Barry and Bernice. "Hey, Bernice how's by you?" Barry eyed up the lanky stud. "Good. Steve, I'd like you to meet your new colleague, Barry Barr." "Nice to meet you Barry." The two exchanged handshakes. "Likewise." "Stevie Clark, you better zip up!" Bernice scolded. "Oh Bernice." "Don't you oh Bernice me, Steve Clark, after you spent a month out sick last year!" Barry smiled at Bernice gave Steve the motherly treatment, as if he were Squirt. Walking right up to Steve, Bernice pulled the zipper of his open sweat top up to his chin. Funny thing is, Barry got a feeling of disappointment at the enveloping barechest, which he sensed to himself as a strange feeling, deep down inside. "You almost snagged my adam's apple in the zipper, Bernice!" "You're lucky it's not the other zipper or I'd snag more than that!" The two men giggled. "Oh, you're so bad, Bernice!" Steve exclaimed. Bernice realized her sin and commented, "Pardon my French thinking, Barry." Barry began ribbing on the caring woman. "Don't know about you Bernice. Might have to take you out back for a swishing!" The two cracked up in laughter, leaving Steve in the dark. "I'll explain it to you sometime, Steve," Barry posed. "Private joke." Bernice offered, "C'mon and jog down to the Chatsworth place with us, Stevie." Jog is right. Barry almost readied to unbutton his shirt, as the two took off at a jogger's pace, running along the side of the road. They slowed when they noticed Barry just behind them. Steve extended, "We'll have to get you into the neighborhood exercise league." "League?" Bernice filled him in, "Yes. It started out with a couple of us meeting along the road, out for our own benefit. At certain times there were more and more neighbors coming out, adults, kids and soon we were grouped." Steve asked, "Are you into jogging or weight lifting, Barry?" "A little of each, but not too steadily at the moment. Since my wife passed on, I haven't been able to keep up a constant pattern of going to the gym." "I'm sorry to hear of that, Barry." "Thanks Steve." "Recently?" "Yes. This past summer." Bernice could sense that not only did Barry's voice take a dip in upbeat rhythm, but his pace began to slow. "Oh look! You can see the roof of the Chatsworth from here!" Barry needed to bend over and catch his breath for a moment, as they got to a clump of bushes and evergreens, before Bernice's surprise. "I'm going ahead to open up the place. You two men come in, when you're fit." "Quite a nice lady, that Bernice." "Yes, that she seems to be, Steve", Barry heartily agreed. "If it wasn't for her, my boys and I wouldn't be half as settled as we are now." "Interested in the Chatsworth place, are you?" "Well, Bernice has sent me tons of pictures of the place two doors up from her." "Right next door to the Stanford's." "Oh? I thought Bernice said that 'we' would be neighbors." "What Bernice means is by neighbors, is anyone within a twenty mile radius!" "I can believe it. What a friendly gal." "She's a gem alright. However, if you did purchase the Chatsworth place, Barry, I'd be your backyard neighbor." "That so? I think Bernice mentioned that you have children." As the two walked, they talked. Mainly about Steve. Revealing the details of his clan, he found almost a mirror of his own family, in the Clark family. Aidan, eleven years old, Eric, fourteen, Denis, sixteen and the oldest, Sean at nineteen. "Barry, there's something I need to get off my chest." "Shoot," Barry said, wanting to see what was on Steve's chest. "I don't know how open you are to ideas, but my boys are adopted." "No problem for me, Steve." "I guess what I'm driving at, Barry, is that they didn't grow up with a mother." "Well, I have to give you credit then, Steve. Being a single parent and raising kids today, is very tough. And four, no less." "No, I'm sorry." "Huh?" "What I'm trying to convey to you, Barry. Is that my boys were raised, some of the time, by two dads. I'm gay." "Hmm... I see. You didn't have to tell me that, Steve." "Maybe it is a mistake. Not everybody is comfortable with it." "I have no problem accepting that, Steve." "There's more though. None of our... my boys are not biologically related." "Oh?" Before the two could round out their conversation the lane bellowed with a blast of animalistic calling. "Will you men get a buzz on it?" Bernice yelled out in her hogcalling manner. "Bernice calls!" Barry joked. "Hee heeee... she can be quite the persuasive one." "It seems I'm leaving you hanging here, Barry." "Yes and I'd like to hear you out, Steve. Maybe after we get settled, we can get our family's together." Just that small comment, took a load off of Steve's mind. There were many loose ends to his story of the evolution of his family, but right off the bat, to Steve it didn't seem to phase Barry as something judgemental or biased. "I almost turned the light out and forgot about you men!" "Yeah, sure Bernice, not with what you're making off of this sale." "I should take you out back for a swishin', after that remark, Stevie Clark!" Even though Steve didn't have an idea of what the replacement of swishin', for switchin' meant, he found Bernice hilarious. % "I can't believe how nice and friendly Mr. Donovan is." Tom and Mark commented. "I'm going to tell dad to shop there all the time," Philip also added, sitting there and eating the free dixiecup of ice cream. Chad reasons, "Well don't expect it all the time, guys. I think Mr. Donovan only did that because we're new in town." However, Matty set Chad straight, "Nope. Mr. Donovan treats all the town's kids like that and all the time." "He must be nearly broke!" Mark added. "Nope, he's been doing it for years. The guy's made a mint ten times over." "Pepper or spear, Matty?" "Pepper or spear what, Squirt?" "Mint." "Dummy," Chad stated to the youngster, "Matty meant mint, like in the Denver mint... money, dah?" "There's that word again." "What word?" Tom and Mark asked at the same time, then added, "Deja vu!" "Deja vu?" Matty also questioned. Chad began educating Matty, telling him the meaning of 'dah' and then Deja vu, the phrase Tom and Mark used whenever they said the same thing at the same instant, as if reading each other's minds. "What's that, Matty?" "What?" "That rock we just past, thrusting up out of the mountain?" "Oh 'that'. One of nature's little weirdies." "Weirdies?" "Yeah. My mom said that one day, about two hundred million years ago, it just decided to pop out of the side of the mountain." "Interesting. I'd like to take a look at it sometime." Tom mentions, "Yeah, Chad has rocks in his head!" "At least I don't go around with a sack of knitting needles!" "I like knitting, so cut that crap, bro!" "Touche!" Matty said on Chad's behalf. Philip asks, "What about your tushie, Matty?" Philip never got an answer, but it sure filled the SUV with laughter that almost brought on tears, plus followup puns about Matty's ass. The conversing moved over to Chad, busting on Tom's big butt! Philip only understood some of the conversation. Finally they pulled in through the Bridges' iron gates. Exiting the SUV, Chad reminded Tom and Mark of the paper sacks in the back. Phillip helped Chad, "Yeah, Tommy and Mark, come back and help before Chad takes you out back and gives you a swishin'!" Chad, mussed Phillip's hair, then planted a paper sack of potato chips in the lad's arms. Matty and Chad followed the multicolored the flagstone path to the front door. "Aren't you going to pull into the garage, Matty?" "Hmm... you want another peek at the 'wheels', huh Chad?" "At least you know what I'm referring to now." "Yeah. It's 'cool', Chad." Philip ran in the front door, carrying a brown grocery bag, hugging it as if it were a friend. His face almost got planted in the stranger's stomach, blocking the doorway. "Hey, who are you?" "Who are you, little man?" "I asked you first!" "I asked you second!" "Alberto, meet 'Squirt'!" Matty provided the answer. "Sqeert?" "Or Philip." "Who's Albearto?" Philip grilled Matty. "I'm the cook," Alberto offered, taking the shopping bag from Philip's hands. He didn't let Alberto off the hook yet, following him. Doubting he could really be one, Philip grills the distinguished man, "What can you cook?" The two walked into the kitchen, Alberto carrying the sack, Philip and he carrying on a man to 'man' talk. "Let's see, bear stew, antelope pudding, zebra ice cream." "There's no such thing as zebra ice cream." "Oh yes there is and to prove it to you, young man, we are having it for dessert tonight." "Wow! This I gotta see!" Philip's eyes were as wide as saucers, wanting to become a believer in the zebra ice cream! Of course Tom and Mark knew this to be some type of scheme, though they liked Alberto and the way he led Philip on. "How would you like to help me make dinner, Philip?" "Yeah, sure. Are you French?" "A little bit. I'm three different kinds of people." "That's funny. You look like one," Philip replied, dead serious. "Hee heee... I am a little bit French, a little Italian and a little Spanish." "Wow! You sure are mixed up, Alberto!" That sent Alberto into a riotous laughter. He knew he would be getting along with Philip very well. He set about fitting Philip into a white apron, edited for his size and having him sit at a tall stool at the butcher block counter, mid kitchen. "I hope this isn't something that's going to be all oozey and make my hands greasy." "Salad? I hardly doubt it, Philip. I think you will have some fun. See, you take the head like this and 'kerplunk'." Holding the head of lettuce up, Alberto smashes it against the table surface. "I think my dad would say that's too vilence." After giggling, Alberto showed Philip how to tear it to pieces, placing it in the big round, wooden salad bowl. He set about his stove duties, leaving Philip to have his fun. % continued.... ©2005 T. Chase McPhee All Rights Reserved. Assgm.net/yahoogroups.com Gay Dreamers Loft/yahoogroups.com Permission is NOT granted to publish this story to any PAY site, nor any site that is not listed above, without the author's prior consent. The following story is a work of fiction set in the format of reality. Any resemblance to real people is entirely coincidental in nature, and is not meant to accurately reflect persons in towns, cities, or governmental areas, in which the story is staged. If sexual scenes involving male to male relationships offends you, then you should not read this story. Additionally, if you are under 18 years of age, in most states and countries, you are not allowed to read this by law. "Nature Walk" 02 (M/t oral) wriTten by T. Chase McPhee % "This sure doesn't look like our development back home," Mark commented. Even Tom noticed the wall to wall forest. "Sure enough doesn't, Mark. Looks like we get out of mowing the lawn!" "As my mom mentioned to your dad, this area is home to at least seven different evergreens." Philip drew an opinion already of Matt. "You're a smart guy, Matty. What grade are you in?" "Oh, I'm not in high school anymore, Squirt," Matty replied. Philip decided to let Matt slide on the nick, since he liked using Matty's nick. "Right now I'm majoring in business management at West Richland Community College." Bernice butts in, "It's the only way I could keep my Matty from running away from home, is to offer him 'the business'." This threw the grownups into the conversation piece of the startup of Bridges Realty. It separated the front seat and back seat conversations. "What about you, Chad?" Matt inquires. "I'm in my senior year of high school." As the two older teens chat, Tom and Mark draw their attention to some of the activities available, starting out with the nature center. When it switches to soccer, Philip's interest wanes from those two, to the other two. "Know what, Matty?" "Nope. I don't know what is what, Squirt. What?" Matt asks back, confusingly. Philip stops for a moment to think for a few seconds, then proceeds with some startling news. "Chad and I share a room." Matt answers, "No kidding?" "I'm not kidding, even though you lied about Sam, Matty." Chad replied to Matt, "Squirt doesn't get mad. He gets even." Chad didn't know how that would go over with Matt, but set him straight on the new sleeping arrangements. "Each of us have our own room now." "But dad says if I get scared, I can still come in and shack up with you, Chad." "Shack up?" Matt questions. Chad didn't care to even elaborate on the subject of vocabulary, so quickly derailed everyone's trail of thought. He hadn't needed to, since the white elephant swerved right, passing between two iron gates. "Is this our development?" Tom asked. Matt chuckled and then responded, "No. This is the entrance to your home." The word 'home', rang out in five different timbres, as the form of a question. "I don't recall pictures of a wrought iron fence, Bernice?" Barry presented. Bernice chortled, then spoke up, "I left those out on purpose, Barry. I wanted to give you some sort of excitement when we pulled up to your place." Chad's famous line rung out, "That's okay Mrs. Bridges. Dad doesn't get mad. He just gets even!" Once again Bernice presents to Barry, "I wonder where he gets 'that' from?" Barry relaxed, looking out the window at their new grounds. Finally the evergreen woods gave way to a lawn surrounding a rather large abode. They all gasped, except Tom whom complained of the rather large expanse of bladed grass that would have to be mown. "Shit, will you look at that!" Chad called out. Bernice's look shot to Matty's in the rearview. Barry picked up on it right away. "Um, Chad, there's a lady present." Mending his uncalled for manners, he apologized, "Oh, I'm terribly sorry Mrs. Bridges." She kiddingly responded, "Well, if it happens again, Chad, I'm going to have your father take you out back and give you a switching!" Barry, a glint in his eye replies to Bernice's cruel punishment, "Hmm, is that why Matt is so nicely mannered?" The quizzical statement followed with an evil grin. Bernice slapped Barry's forearm, saying, "You sly fox, Barry. You really do get even!" The two front seaters laughed, as the teens smiled. Matt liked how his mom and Mr. Barr were getting along so well. He hoped he'd development some type of lighthearted rapport with Chad, that allowed him to get 'touchy'. "Oh my... oh my... this is nothing like the pictures," Barry gasped, as Bernice led him into the wide entrance way, just inside the small foyer. Bernice again stated her inadequacies as a photographer, "I told you that damn camera doesn't do this place justice." The two heard behind them, from 'Squirt', "Dad, you better take Mrs. Bridges out back and give her a swishin'!" Both adults turned a bright pink, as the five guys laughed their asses off. "Some comedian you are, Squirt!" Matt commented, putting his arm around the ten year old's shoulder. Chad helped out, "Yeah, maybe too funny for his own good sometimes!" He gave Philip a wink. After Tom and Mark quieted down, they awarded their little bro, "Good one, Philip!" Philip loved the 'touching' from all of the guys. Bernice started towards Philip to give him a loving hug, but Squirt clung to Chad instead. "I'm sorry Bernice," Barry apologized. "Oh no. Don't be, Barry. I understand fully. Matty, why don't you show the boys around, while I help familiarize Mr. Barr with their new home?" "Sure Mom," Matt replied. Chad sensed an electric jolt travel down his spine when Matt touched his back, as he herded the group in the opposite direction of the adults. Either it's or the place is haunted. "This is the den. The former owners used it for their TV room mostly." "Heeey," Tom got an idea, "This will be perfect for an entertainment center." Mark reminded him, "Yeah, if we only had one, dah?" Chad noticed Matt mouthing the word, 'dah', but skipped any explanation. "Why don't we keep going, Matty?" "Sure, Chad," The 'real estate agent' replied. Squirt had one last departing question, "Is this chimney wide enough for Santa to get down through?" Wanting to stand around and help Philip with maybe measuring the circumference of the chimney, Chad said, "we'll come back later," then pointed Squirt to the direction in front of him, but behind Matt. Philip thought it interesting when Matt stopped, but Chad kept on going, forcing Philip to become sandwiched in between the 'meat' and 'end of the bread'. "Voila! The kitchen!" The boys gasped at the huge room, whereas the sink area remained in it's own entity, separated by a grand butcher block table, from the cooking area. "Shit!" Chad called out, immediately turning to Matt, "Sorry 'bout that, Matty." He smiled, replying, "It's not a problem with me. Just don't say it around the 'lady'!" Chad took an extended look, at Matt's grin and couldn't help, naturally flexing his eyebrows, moving them up and down. He got the same reaction back from Matt. Then Chad's brighty-whitey's flashed back at Matt. The two didn't need gaydar to sense what each thought. They quickly broke the trance, when Philip tugged on Matt's shirt. "What's up, Squirt?" "My dad doesn't work out, but I have a feeling he's going to get one, after running around this kitchen, to fix us dinner." Matt, providing a royal goof, replied, "My mom is too tired when she gets home for that, so we have a cook." The word 'cook', resounded through the room four times, as each boy picked up on the position. Chad broke the ice, "I don't think that's going to run by my dad too cool, Matty." Matt quickly tried to decipher the meaning, not being a too cool thing. His results were in guessing, considering the tone of Chad's voice. "Well, uh, everybody's different," Matt used for an excuse. Chad decided to work some other thoughts in, since they were on the subject of every being different. "Oh yeah, just like my brothers. We're all different and like different things." It seemed most missed the point, so the conversing went back to the 'cook'. "I'm sure everybody on this side of the mountain doesn't have a cook," Matt fibbed, to get himself off the hook. Instantly, without warning, their dad and Mrs. Bridges appeared through the swinging door. Mrs. Bridges laughed when their dad got swatted on the rebound. "Haa ha haaa... oh, I'm sorry, but I couldn't help laugh at your reaction. You have to remember to move quickly through the doorway or else you get spanked in the as... fanny!" Barry noticed Bernice's almost slip and smiled back. "Hey, Dad?" "Yes, Philip?" He knelt down on one knee to converse with his short-heighted son. "Matty says they've got a cook because Mrs. B is too lazy to cook when she comes home." Chad reminded Matt of the 'evil stare'. "Mom, I swear I didn't say that." Philip contradicted the eighteen year old, "Oh yes you did, Matty. You said your mom was too tired." Barry tried rectifying the incident, telling his ten year old, "Listen son, coming home from work tired is much different than being lazy." Bernice, bent in half, to tell him that she wasn't offended. Philip replied, "That's real good Mrs. B. I would feel terrible if you took Matty out back for a swishin' and he didn't mean what I thought he said." Philip allowed her to muss up his locks, as she smiled. Tom and Mark noticed Chad giving Matt a hand spank, on the fanny, in jest. "I imagine that could hurt like hell, Matty." "Don't knock it til you've tried it, Chad!" 'Strange reaction', Chad thought, but figured he misunderstood something along the way. "I don't suppose you showed them the upstairs, Matty?" "No mother dear!" After breaking their mutual grin, Bernice led the troops up the 'one person' stairway from the kitchen. Unlike the 'double-peopled' stairway from the opening, the entourage needed to ascend single file. Matt loved stepping up behind Chad. "Here's bedroom number one to fight over!" Entering the room, which fit the party of seven easily, Bernice had to convince them that this indeed was not the master bedroom. Right away Tom and Mark began a squabble over each one occupying it. "Now boys. If either one of you can't concede to the other then we'll have to draw straws," their dad reasoned. Chad joked, "Eh, just let them slug it out, dad." "Yeah, thanks for the help, son," Barry retorted, directing it at his eldest. Squirt poked his opinion in, "I don't care, as long as I'm near Chad's room. A room this big could get scary at night!" As they left the large scale single bedroom, it's Bernice who chatted with Philip about being alone in the dark. Barry liked the idea of Bernice's motherly concern and in a sense of weaning Philip away from Chad's paternal instincts. As he walked behind Bernice, guiding Philip, he sensed more trust bestowed upon the woman and less fear, than when she first approached the youngster in the foyer. "Mrs. B, does your cook know how to make Jello and apple pie?" "Yes, what is this about a cook?" Barry asked, thoroughly interested, in case he should get on a lazy kick. "You'll find out sooner of later, Barry, so I'll tell you straight. Not that there's anything wrong with you cooking for your own brood, but we all hire domestic help here, in the neighborhood. Your children might as well know. West Richland Heights is just that... 'rich land'." Chad whispered into an ear, "What's that shit you were trying to pull off, Matty?" He smiled and got his own jolly out of Chad's comment. "I didn't want to hurt your feelings, Chad." "I could tell from the start that you were a sweet fag!" "What tha fuhhh?" Chad knew right away that Matty and he had to have a private conversation. It could be immediately sensed that Matty had been very offended by the 'fag' comment. "Hey, sorry about that, but you and I need to talk." Matty agreed, but had some reluctance, "Yeah, maybe." He didn't know if he liked the way Chad threw some gay remarks around, but then again, being from a different area of the country, figured the culture exchange could be differentiated. "Um, are you boys interested in finishing the tour today?" "Coming mother!" Chad directed to Matty, "Ladies first!" Matty stepped aside to allow Chad in front of him. "Wise ass," Chad commented, softly so that only Matty could take in the remark. Walking about the upstairs, Bernice pointed out the other four bedrooms of the palatial home, plus closets, the main bathroom and then two of the bedrooms that had private baths. Of course, Chad claimed one of the rooms, with the privacy gained in pissing and other acts. "Chad?" "Yeah, Squirt?" "Can I use your bathroom sometimes when Tommy and Mark are hogging ours?" Chad smiled and okayed it, as long as he knocked before entering. That would certainly be true if Matty and he planned on some overnights! "Well, I'm starved," Bernice put the suggestion into the player's field. Of course the idea spread like wildfire. After ditching the baggage inside the front door, the troops piled back into the white elephant, for the trip two doors down. Philip thought he noticed something in the small forest of pines, in the direction of the next home, but the herding back inside the van kept him from investigating. "Heeeey," Philip called out, "this isn't a development like back home." Bernice, again bent over to chat with Philip on the auspices of real estate, just outside the entrance of her and Matty's home. "Of course this isn't like all developments, Philip. None of the houses are the same. Come inside and you will see for yourself." Barry liked the idea of how Philip began opening up to Bernice, taking her hand, as she entered the big home. It had also been good of her to assume a maternal friendship with Philip. Tom and Mark flanked their dad's sides, talking with him as they walked up the flagstone pathway, leading to the front door. "So, dad, are we going to get a cook?" Tom asks. "I'm not sure. It's a possibility that we might be able to swing it, to have a cook for dinners. I think we can fend for ourselves for breakfast and meals on weekends." Mark cuts in, "Do Tom and I have to mow the lawn?" "Hey, I don't want you guys to start to get lazy, like Mrs. Bridges!" "She's a nice lady, isn't she dad?" "That she is, Mark." Tom adds, "I just figured she would dump us at the front door with our luggage and hightail it outta here." Mark answered the remark quite nicely, "I don't think Mrs. B is that kind of lady. She's sorta like mom." "Yeah? How so, Mark?" Tom asked, on the defensive. Barry liked the way the boys were talking about their departed mother and comparing Bernice to her. Tom's remark seemed logical. After the passing of a parent, changing their residency doesn't necessarily warrant a immediate settling of feelings. Barry knew that it would take time and nurturing to at least settle the atmosphere some. The mending process had begun. Barry hoped the change in their lives, moving to West Richland, would help all of them geton with their lives. This fact troubled Barry and he saw that their exposure to Bernice and Matty helped. "If I have to hold this door open any longer, a bear is going to come bolting out of the woods and welcome himself!" Tom and Mark, running ahead of their dad, spoofed on Matty's words, "Coming mother dear!" Barry stood there, hands on his hips, laughing, as Bernice put both boys in a tickling fit, until Barry found his way to the entrance of the 'bears den'. As Barry entered, he became struck by amazement, as much as Tom and Mark when they viewed the open, vaulted ceiling of the contemporary home and the wooded balconies. "This is very nice, Bernice." "Thanks, Barry," she cordially replied, bubbling over in smiles. He then added, "Are you sure you sent us the pictures of the right home?" Right away she replied, "I thought you wanted something more traditional." "Oh, I'm not complaining." "Well, it's not too late to change your mind, Barry." "Hi guys!" Philip appears, like he owns the place, a jug of Gatorade in his hand. "Matty says help yourself to anything in the fridge. That is, except the beer and wine." It's Tom that boldly tells him, "Lead us to it, Squirt!" "Whooooa, wait up there fellas." But Bernice shoos them on, "Don't worry about them. You'll find that Matty and I are very informal people." Bernice then, standing in the middle of the balcony, yells out like a hogcaller, "Matteeeeeee!" "What's up, mom?" the nineteen year old calls down from the wooden, railed in planking. Chad appeared with him, their hair kind of out of whack. "Mr. Barr and I are taking a walk. Take the kids into Donovan's and pick up a dozen or so steaks and anything else the kids want to munch on. I'll leave a couple of bills on the table at the front door." Matty replies congenial, "Okay Mom. No problem." "No problem?" Bernice reiterates, directing it towards Barry. "Um, yes. A phrase we have back east." Bernice tries out the phrase some more. "No problem... no problem. Hmm, I like the sound of that... no problem. I'll have to try that on my clients next time." Arriving at the front door, Bernice opens her handbag, pulling out four fifties. "Oh no, let me treat." Bernice says rather forward, "No way, buster. You might just fall in love with what I'm gonna show you and you're going to need every penny to afford it!" Barry compromised, leaving two fifties, to add to Bernice's. % "C'mon guys, over here," Matty directs the gang towards the three car garage. Philip calls out, "Aren't we going in the white elephant?" However, the four newcomers are quickly swayed from the monstrous animal, to the sleek jaguar. "Shit, this is nice!" Philip says, "Ooooh, I'm gonna tell dad you cursed, Chad!" Tom, the more outspoken, teases, "Then who ya gonna run to at night when the boogedy man comes in your room, Squirt?" Chad could see Philip getting a bit riled up about Tom's lack of sensitivity. "Hey, he can fight his own battles, Tom, so just back off of Squirt here." Philip replied, "You tell'm, Chad!" Their father wouldn't here it from Philip, of the cursing episode. They thought they were headed for the Jaguar, until Matty interrupted, "No guys, this way." "Nice wheels, Matty," Chad commented. Matty replied, "Yeah and the rest of the car is kind of nice, too." Chad repeated to himself, 'Oh boy, do you and I need to talk, Matty!' In no time, they had zipped out of the garage, headed back towards the 'city' of West Richland, in the SUV. % Side by side, the two walked and chatted. "No sidewalks, huh?" "They were going to, but I reminded the developer that this is 'not' a main road and sidewalks would just not fit in with the beauty of the area," Bernice replied. "Nicely forested here." "Yes, that's why I grabbed up the first plot of land and also the largest parcel." "Being a real estate agency can have it's dividends, I suppose." "That it can." Of course Bernice meant it in a different frame of mind. "So quiet, too." "Was it a city that you lived in, Barry?" "Oh no. Country, but not like this. Our house was located in shouting distance to the next home, plus the land had been stripped of most of the trees when the developer came in. Crying shame." "I know what you mean, Barry. It's happening all over the world. The landscape is being stripped in the name of vanity. Then they wonder why communities are washed away in floods. I mean, a tract of land leveled by a forest fire is one thing, but manmade deforestation is a sin." "Looks like somebody coming down the hill." "That's Stevie Clark out for his run. Let's meet up with him, I'll introduce you." Barry's amazement caused him to grin, as Bernice took off like a bat out of hell, in the runner's direction. He definitely knew now that Bernice was no slacker. "Steeevieeee!" That hogcalling voice rang out, loud even to cause a flock of forrested birds to take flight. "Stevie Clark, wait up!" The running figure, switched directions and headed towards Barry and Bernice. "Hey, Bernice how's by you?" Barry eyed up the lanky stud. "Good. Steve, I'd like you to meet your new colleague, Barry Barr." "Nice to meet you Barry." The two exchanged handshakes. "Likewise." "Stevie Clark, you better zip up!" Bernice scolded. "Oh Bernice." "Don't you oh Bernice me, Steve Clark, after you spent a month out sick last year!" Barry smiled at Bernice gave Steve the motherly treatment, as if he were Squirt. Walking right up to Steve, Bernice pulled the zipper of his open sweat top up to his chin. Funny thing is, Barry got a feeling of disappointment at the enveloping barechest, which he sensed to himself as a strange feeling, deep down inside. "You almost snagged my adam's apple in the zipper, Bernice!" "You're lucky it's not the other zipper or I'd snag more than that!" The two men giggled. "Oh, you're so bad, Bernice!" Steve exclaimed. Bernice realized her sin and commented, "Pardon my French thinking, Barry." Barry began ribbing on the caring woman. "Don't know about you Bernice. Might have to take you out back for a swishing!" The two cracked up in laughter, leaving Steve in the dark. "I'll explain it to you sometime, Steve," Barry posed. "Private joke." Bernice offered, "C'mon and jog down to the Chatsworth place with us, Stevie." Jog is right. Barry almost readied to unbutton his shirt, as the two took off at a jogger's pace, running along the side of the road. They slowed when they noticed Barry just behind them. Steve extended, "We'll have to get you into the neighborhood exercise league." "League?" Bernice filled him in, "Yes. It started out with a couple of us meeting along the road, out for our own benefit. At certain times there were more and more neighbors coming out, adults, kids and soon we were grouped." Steve asked, "Are you into jogging or weight lifting, Barry?" "A little of each, but not too steadily at the moment. Since my wife passed on, I haven't been able to keep up a constant pattern of going to the gym." "I'm sorry to hear of that, Barry." "Thanks Steve." "Recently?" "Yes. This past summer." Bernice could sense that not only did Barry's voice take a dip in upbeat rhythm, but his pace began to slow. "Oh look! You can see the roof of the Chatsworth from here!" Barry needed to bend over and catch his breath for a moment, as they got to a clump of bushes and evergreens, before Bernice's surprise. "I'm going ahead to open up the place. You two men come in, when you're fit." "Quite a nice lady, that Bernice." "Yes, that she seems to be, Steve", Barry heartily agreed. "If it wasn't for her, my boys and I wouldn't be half as settled as we are now." "Interested in the Chatsworth place, are you?" "Well, Bernice has sent me tons of pictures of the place two doors up from her." "Right next door to the Stanford's." "Oh? I thought Bernice said that 'we' would be neighbors." "What Bernice means is by neighbors, is anyone within a twenty mile radius!" "I can believe it. What a friendly gal." "She's a gem alright. However, if you did purchase the Chatsworth place, Barry, I'd be your backyard neighbor." "That so? I think Bernice mentioned that you have children." As the two walked, they talked. Mainly about Steve. Revealing the details of his clan, he found almost a mirror of his own family, in the Clark family. Aidan, eleven years old, Eric, fourteen, Denis, sixteen and the oldest, Sean at nineteen. "Barry, there's something I need to get off my chest." "Shoot," Barry said, wanting to see what was on Steve's chest. "I don't know how open you are to ideas, but my boys are adopted." "No problem for me, Steve." "I guess what I'm driving at, Barry, is that they didn't grow up with a mother." "Well, I have to give you credit then, Steve. Being a single parent and raising kids today, is very tough. And four, no less." "No, I'm sorry." "Huh?" "What I'm trying to convey to you, Barry. Is that my boys were raised, some of the time, by two dads. I'm gay." "Hmm... I see. You didn't have to tell me that, Steve." "Maybe it is a mistake. Not everybody is comfortable with it." "I have no problem accepting that, Steve." "There's more though. None of our... my boys are not biologically related." "Oh?" Before the two could round out their conversation the lane bellowed with a blast of animalistic calling. "Will you men get a buzz on it?" Bernice yelled out in her hogcalling manner. "Bernice calls!" Barry joked. "Hee heeee... she can be quite the persuasive one." "It seems I'm leaving you hanging here, Barry." "Yes and I'd like to hear you out, Steve. Maybe after we get settled, we can get our family's together." Just that small comment, took a load off of Steve's mind. There were many loose ends to his story of the evolution of his family, but right off the bat, to Steve it didn't seem to phase Barry as something judgemental or biased. "I almost turned the light out and forgot about you men!" "Yeah, sure Bernice, not with what you're making off of this sale." "I should take you out back for a swishin', after that remark, Stevie Clark!" Even though Steve didn't have an idea of what the replacement of swishin', for switchin' meant, he found Bernice hilarious. % "I can't believe how nice and friendly Mr. Donovan is." Tom and Mark commented. "I'm going to tell dad to shop there all the time," Philip also added, sitting there and eating the free dixiecup of ice cream. Chad reasons, "Well don't expect it all the time, guys. I think Mr. Donovan only did that because we're new in town." However, Matty set Chad straight, "Nope. Mr. Donovan treats all the town's kids like that and all the time." "He must be nearly broke!" Mark added. "Nope, he's been doing it for years. The guy's made a mint ten times over." "Pepper or spear, Matty?" "Pepper or spear what, Squirt?" "Mint." "Dummy," Chad stated to the youngster, "Matty meant mint, like in the Denver mint... money, dah?" "There's that word again." "What word?" Tom and Mark asked at the same time, then added, "Deja vu!" "Deja vu?" Matty also questioned. Chad began educating Matty, telling him the meaning of 'dah' and then Deja vu, the phrase Tom and Mark used whenever they said the same thing at the same instant, as if reading each other's minds. "What's that, Matty?" "What?" "That rock we just past, thrusting up out of the mountain?" "Oh 'that'. One of nature's little weirdies." "Weirdies?" "Yeah. My mom said that one day, about two hundred million years ago, it just decided to pop out of the side of the mountain." "Interesting. I'd like to take a look at it sometime." Tom mentions, "Yeah, Chad has rocks in his head!" "At least I don't go around with a sack of knitting needles!" "I like knitting, so cut that crap, bro!" "Touche!" Matty said on Chad's behalf. Philip asks, "What about your tushie, Matty?" Philip never got an answer, but it sure filled the SUV with laughter that almost brought on tears, plus followup puns about Matty's ass. The conversing moved over to Chad, busting on Tom's big butt! Philip only understood some of the conversation. Finally they pulled in through the Bridges' iron gates. Exiting the SUV, Chad reminded Tom and Mark of the paper sacks in the back. Phillip helped Chad, "Yeah, Tommy and Mark, come back and help before Chad takes you out back and gives you a swishin'!" Chad, mussed Phillip's hair, then planted a paper sack of potato chips in the lad's arms. Matty and Chad followed the multicolored the flagstone path to the front door. "Aren't you going to pull into the garage, Matty?" "Hmm... you want another peek at the 'wheels', huh Chad?" "At least you know what I'm referring to now." "Yeah. It's 'cool', Chad." Philip ran in the front door, carrying a brown grocery bag, hugging it as if it were a friend. His face almost got planted in the stranger's stomach, blocking the doorway. "Hey, who are you?" "Who are you, little man?" "I asked you first!" "I asked you second!" "Alberto, meet 'Squirt'!" Matty provided the answer. "Sqeert?" "Or Philip." "Who's Albearto?" Philip grilled Matty. "I'm the cook," Alberto offered, taking the shopping bag from Philip's hands. He didn't let Alberto off the hook yet, following him. Doubting he could really be one, Philip grills the distinguished man, "What can you cook?" The two walked into the kitchen, Alberto carrying the sack, Philip and he carrying on a man to 'man' talk. "Let's see, bear stew, antelope pudding, zebra ice cream." "There's no such thing as zebra ice cream." "Oh yes there is and to prove it to you, young man, we are having it for dessert tonight." "Wow! This I gotta see!" Philip's eyes were as wide as saucers, wanting to become a believer in the zebra ice cream! Of course Tom and Mark knew this to be some type of scheme, though they liked Alberto and the way he led Philip on. "How would you like to help me make dinner, Philip?" "Yeah, sure. Are you French?" "A little bit. I'm three different kinds of people." "That's funny. You look like one," Philip replied, dead serious. "Hee heee... I am a little bit French, a little Italian and a little Spanish." "Wow! You sure are mixed up, Alberto!" That sent Alberto into a riotous laughter. He knew he would be getting along with Philip very well. He set about fitting Philip into a white apron, edited for his size and having him sit at a tall stool at the butcher block counter, mid kitchen. "I hope this isn't something that's going to be all oozey and make my hands greasy." "Salad? I hardly doubt it, Philip. I think you will have some fun. See, you take the head like this and 'kerplunk'." Holding the head of lettuce up, Alberto smashes it against the table surface. "I think my dad would say that's too vilence." After giggling, Alberto showed Philip how to tear it to pieces, placing it in the big round, wooden salad bowl. He set about his stove duties, leaving Philip to have his fun. % continued.... Copyright 2005 T. Chase McPhee All Rights Reserved. dont strike a fault, unless you can admit you've slipped..T Chase McPhee