Date: Sat, 22 Nov 2003 14:12:41 -0800 From: Derek Weiser Subject: Next Door Neighbor When I was eight, we got a new neighbor. His name was Jake and he was an undercover police officer. He was twenty-three and tall, about six-four. He was golden headed and had bright blue eyes. We didn't see that much of him. He was gone for six weeks to four months at a time. Then he'd be home for a few weeks then gone again. But he liked my dad and I. When he was home, we would play hoops in the driveway. Dad is only about five-ten and they were mismatched, but we still had a good time. My mother never really liked me. I sensed it from a very early age. I don't know what it was really, but she just hated me. I avoided her as much as possible. When I entered a room, she became cold. But she doted on my father. Maybe I just horned in on her time. But as much as she doted on Dad, he doted on me. That all changed though. When I was ten, Dad and I were playing some hoops. Jake had just gotten home and was leaning on the fence, watching us. Dad went for a lay up and fell to the ground after a single cry. He didn't move. Jake ran to him and told me to go call 911. I was scared. Jake rode with me in the ambulance to the hospital. We sat in the waiting room. I was on Jake's lap with my head on his shoulder and he had me wrapped in his arms. He stroked my back and rocked me slowly. I was terrified but I also felt safe and at peace in Jake's arms. The doctor came out and told Jake that Dad was dead. His heart had burst and even if he had been on the operating table when it happened, they still couldn't have saved him. Jake just picked me up and rocked me. I didn't cry though. I think I was in too much pain. He kept stroking my back and rocking me gently. He kept murmuring how sorry he was. But he didn't lie and tell me that everything was going to be all right. He was honest and safe. I loved him like a brother and now he was a hero. Mom came storming in to the emergency room. She had been at work and just arrived. Jake set me down to get the doctor so he could explain things to Mom. She walked up to me and stared in my eyes. She asked if Dad was okay. I shook my head and told her he collapsed while we were playing basketball. She slapped me and told me it was my fault he was dead. The emergency room got really quiet. I started to cry. The shock of her hitting me and blaming me broke through and I let go. I collapsed in a heap and just sobbed. Jake came back with the doctor and let him deal with my mother. He knelt down and scooped me up again and just held me. He rubbed my back and I buried my head in his neck and cried. I cried because my dad was gone and wasn't going to be there anymore. He pulled me back when I stopped crying and saw the bruise on my cheek. He asked what happened and an old man sitting next to Jake said that my mother had hit me. I have never seen Jake get so angry. He doesn't usually loose his temper. But he did that day in the hospital. Nothing came of it. My mother was so distraught that the doctor sedated her and claimed that grief had caused her to strike me. Jake was with me through the funeral. During the reception afterwards he told me that if I ever had any problems, any questions, if I was hurt or afraid, to come to him and he would help me. Over the next couple of years, when I did have questions I did go to him. When puberty hit and I didn't understand what was going on, he explained it to me. I had my first wet dream at 12 and really didn't understand. I thought I was sick. I thought maybe something was broken. Jake explained it to me. He told me that it was my body's way of telling me that it was ready to make a baby. He told me just because my body was ready, didn't mean that my mind or heart was. He told me about condoms and safe sex. He warned me about diseases and pregnancy. He told me that it was good to kiss and hold hands. It was also natural to want to do more. He just told me that my heart and body would both tell me when it was ready. He really did a good job. It wasn't preachy or scary. It was just my best friend Jake telling me how I was growing into being a man. During this time I never told Jake about my mother. She didn't say a single word to me after the emergency room. If I entered a room, she left it. If I talked to her, she ignored me. When I was 14, I hit a massive growth spurt, I had been just shy of five feet and now I was almost five-six. I hadn't had any new clothes since Dad died. I had made do. I washed my own clothes and mended them. But six inches couldn't be hidden. When Jake got home after a long assignment I went over to see him. I didn't want anything except to be in a room where someone would talk to me; maybe be glad to see me. He commented about my clothes. He asked why I was wearing my old clothes. I was embarrassed. I looked down and mumbled that I had to go. He tried to stop me. He was so concerned. But I couldn't explain that my mother hated me so much and blamed me for Dad's death. I left and went home. He followed me home, but I was up in my room when Mom answered the door. They must have talked for a good half hour. But he left. Jake went on assignment two days later. That was when Mom stopped buying groceries. Because I had lost my father, I was able to apply for free school lunches. I forged my Mom's name and got a hot meal each day. It came in handy until I learned to cook a little. For a few days, it was the only meal I had. But that April, after she stopped bringing any groceries home, it was the only meal I had period. She stopped buying groceries in mid-April. By the time school got out in late June, there wasn't a single edible item in the house. I guess I never thought she would do something so cruel. By the time I knew I needed help, I was too ashamed and too starved to seek help. When I had my last meal at school on June 21st, I had lost ten pounds and had grown two inches since April. I found myself eating toothpaste and handfuls of flour. Anything to fill my empty belly. I was too weak to climb the stairs so I stayed in my room. On July 3rd I heard Jake come home. I knew I needed to get to him. Get to Jake. Get to Jake. I didn't worry about shoes. I climbed out of bed and tried not to fall down the stairs. I sat and scooted my way down. I walked out the back door and tried not to faint. Each step was a struggle. I was so weak. I went around the fence. Jake was mowing the lawn. I was so happy to see him but I didn't know I was crying. He was walking away from me. Oh no, don't go away. Help. Then I realized he just needed to turn around so he will see me. He turned to mow another row and saw me and waved. I started to fall. I just couldn't support myself. Jake was there at my side instantly. He scooped his arms under me and went to lift me. He stood as if he was expecting his load to be heavier. He almost tossed me in the air he had put so much force into it. "Oh my god, Adam. What happened?" "Jake..." It was too much and I fainted. Jake's concerned face was the last thing I saw. I remembered it looked like he had tears in his eyes. I woke up in the hospital. I don't know how long I was out. But Jake was sitting by me. I was very thirsty and disoriented that first time. I slept some more. After a few more times of fitful rests, I woke for good. Jake was still sitting by my bed. He hadn't shaved. He still wore the same clothes that he was wearing when he mowed the lawn. He hadn't left me. He stayed. That's when I started to cry. I cried out my shame. My mother hated my very existence and tried to kill me. I cried out the pain of losing a father and of being scared. I also cried for joy that Jake was there for me. Jake sat on my bed and held me. He rocked me and let me cry. He didn't try to shush me or calm me; just let me cry. A nurse came in to check on me. She wanted Jake to move away but I refused to let him go. The nurse got exasperated because Jake wouldn't leave me. She got a doctor. He checked me out around Jake. They gave me a sedative but I don't think it worked. I never really responded to drugs of any kind. I heard a uniformed officer talk to Jake in the hall while I pretended to sleep. My mother was arrested and was undergoing some psychiatric evaluations. Jake cursed then thanked the officer. He came back into my room. He saw I was awake and tried to explain what was going on. "Adam. Your mother is sick. She is being checked out by a special doctor-" "Jake, don't lie to me." He nodded. "Okay, she is under arrest for criminal neglect and malicious intent. But she is in a psychiatric hospital. I don't think she will stand trial, she's too sick. But you will never again go back to her." "Where will I go?" He smiled at me. "My brother is a lawyer. I filed to become your foster parent. It was granted, at least until the trial." "So I'll stay with you?" "Until you're tired of me or the court says otherwise." I actually felt safe. I took a deep breath and relaxed for the first time in years. I was going to be okay. With Jake I could just be a kid. I spent the next eight days in the hospital. I put back the twenty-four pounds I had lost. I stayed with Jake until the trial. He took a leave of absence and he helped me workout and build up some muscle mass. I was really scrawny, but after a few weeks, I started to bulk up a little. I was sculpted and defined. I felt better and looked great. For the first time since Dad died, I was happy. But it didn't last. Because Jake was single and an undercover officer, the court wouldn't allow me to stay with him permanently. We were both really sad about it. He was trying so hard not to cry when the decision was handed down. He did cry though when he took me to my new home. After my mother's trial, I was placed with another family. They were nice and allowed me to see Jake as often as he could come over. They didn't crowd me, but they did support me. I felt safe but unconnected. Jake would take me to his parent's cabin for two weeks every summer. We would fish and laugh. He listened to my problems and talked about work. I looked forward to his visits. This went on for the next four years and I was happy whenever I was with Jake. I started to develop some friendships and even dated a few times. The scars seemed to have faded. I was able to go out with my friends and have a good time. I had grown into my body. I was five-nine and had dark brown hair. I looked a lot like my dad. When I was sixteen, hair started sprouting all over my chest and belly. I was easily the hairiest kid in high school. I had wavy brown hair and warm, brown eyes. I was a hunk in my own opinion. A little after I turned eighteen, during my senior year, I was going out with this girl. Her name was Tonya and we were inseparable. I liked being near her. I loved holding her. She smelled so good. She said she felt comfortable with me because I wasn't trying to get in her pants. Eventually, my heart and body synched, just like Jake said it would, and I wanted to have sex. One night, after graduation, we made love. I was excited and nervous. It was my first time. It wasn't hers. We were making love, but something seemed wrong. I enjoyed myself, everything worked and it was pleasurable, but there was something missing. I shrugged it off. I figured it was my first time and I screwed up somehow. We did it again. No, there was something wrong. I couldn't get an erection to do it a third time. I was really confused. I was also scared. Because Jake had been able to answer all my questions, I paged him. He was on assignment, but I knew he would call me back as soon as possible. It was less then two hours later that he did. He asked what was wrong. I told him I couldn't tell him over the phone, but asked that when he got free, we talk. Three days later, he was off assignment and I drove up to the cabin and met him there. He let me tell him in my own time. He just treated it as any other time we were together. I thought I'd tell him right away, but it was three days before I could. We had fished, laughed and enjoyed what was a normal time together. We played Monopoly and Scrabble in front of the fire. We had a good time. That third night, I sat next to him by the fire and started to talk. "Jake, I think something is wrong with me." "What?" I explained all about Tonya and our first time and how I felt. I then told him about the second time and the aborted failure of our third. He looked at me and got a kind of sad look. I asked if he knew what was wrong. He shook his head. "Nothing's wrong Adam." "Why are you so sad?" "I was hoping I was wrong. I didn't want you to go through what I did." "What Jake?" "I'm gay Adam. I think you might be too." "Gay... But I'm not gay. I... Am I?" "There's only one way to find out." He leaned over and kissed me. It was a light, gentle brushing of lips. My heart started pounding. This is what was missing. This thrill. But all too quickly it was over. Jake pulled away from me. He looked at me and gave me a sad smile. "I'm right aren't I Adam?" I nodded. I moved to kiss him again. But Jake pulled away from me. He shook his head and stood up. I was confused. I thought he had kissed me because he wanted to. When I looked up at Jake, he was across the room. He turned to me and I saw the bulge in his jeans. He wasn't unaffected by the kiss either. I stood up and followed him. I stood in front of him. I trailed my hand along his chest over his t-shirt. He shuddered and I could feel his heart pounding. "Don't Adam. It's not right." "Why Jake? Your body says you want this as much as I do." "I'm so much older than you. My god, you were eight years old when I met you. You're just a kid. It's not right." I stood on tiptoe. I had to, he is six-four and I'm just five-nine. I brushed my lips against his chin and my chest against his. I felt him hard against my belly. He grabbed my arms to push me away. But he never made the move. He gripped me tighter and lowered his mouth to me. He kissed me, hard. His mouth moved over mine and his tongue plunged into my mouth. But almost instantly, with a moan, he stopped being aggressive. His tongue moved gently with mine. He coaxed me to play with him. His tongue would sweep my mouth then pulled mine to do the same to his mouth. After a few moments of exquisite kissing, he pulled his mouth from mine. He looked into my eyes. I don't know what he was searching for. But he picked me up and carried me to his bedroom. There was a king-size bed and he set me down at the side of it. He stared into my eyes while he undressed me. After my shirt was off, he rubbed his hands along the hairiness of my chest. When he scraped my nipples, I shuddered. He pushed me back on the bed and slipped off my shoes and socks. He pulled my jeans down and left me in my briefs. He stood and shucked off his clothes down to his underwear. He was beautiful. He was buff. His arms and legs were corded with muscles. His shoulders bulged with them. His chest was beautifully sculpted and his stomach flat. All of it was covered in a thick pelt of dark gold curls. I roamed over his body with my eyes. I noticed the tent in his tight, white briefs. The waistband wasn't touching his belly he was so tented. From the look of it, he was huge. Jake lowered himself onto me. He lay out completely on top of me. He wrapped his arms around my back and thrust one of his thighs between mine. Our underwear clad cocks rubbed together. He gasped at the contact and leaned down and started kissing me. With each kiss, he started thrusting his hips against mine. He moved over me in long strokes. His hairy chest rubbed against mine. His legs twined themselves with mine. Each thrust sent new, greater sensations through me. I started to meet his thrusts. I moaned against his mouth. He pulled away from my mouth and started slurping and biting at my neck. He started to grunt and moan. He reached down and ripped my underwear off me, tearing it at the seams. He pushed his down his thighs slightly, and laid his cock beside mine. He thrust harder against me. His cock pulled on my pubic hair and the trail up my belly. But he started leaking his clear fluid and the pull stopped. Each thrust of his hips had my cock rubbing in the soft, golden curls of his body. Each movement was like being stroked with a soft, silky feather. Each hair was a shock of pleasure to my system. I started to cry out. I felt myself tighten and thicken. I was going to cum. Jake felt me stiffen and cry out. He covered my mouth with his and drank my pleasure from my lips with a searing kiss. I was on fire. My cock kept spurting its flood against Jake. I wrapped my arms around his back and I draped a thigh over him, tightening my belly to his, wedging my exhausted and his steely cock harder. I felt Jake speed up. He cried out and threw his head back as I felt him cum against me. Each wave of pleasure had him crying out. I felt myself grow damp and sticky with his cum. It was the most pleasurable experience of my life. With his last moan and thrust, Jake collapsed on top of me. I felt his heart pounding and his breathing slow. As he began to calm, he started nuzzling my shoulder and neck with his nose and chin. He stroked my arms and chest lightly with his hands and nuzzled my legs with his. It was the most loving, warm, cuddly moment I had ever had. Until know, I had never known such connection. I'd never known such warmth. A feeling started growing in my chest. It was so powerful and overwhelming, I felt my chest tighten and my throat thicken with tears. I have always loved Jake. He was a friend, a brother, a mentor and a hero. But now, all that affection blossomed into something I have never known. I'd never felt this kind of love, but I knew that I loved him. It was like it had always been there, waiting for his kiss to let it go. I moaned from such overwhelming emotion. Jake pulled up and looked in my eyes. I hope he saw what I felt for him. I was too emotional to form words at that moment. He kissed me again. This was warm and sweet and his mouth moved over mine in a great passionate rhythm. But he broke away and looked at me again. He then kissed my chin and moved his mouth down to my ear. He kissed the lobe then tugged gently with his teeth. He moved down my throat and lapped at its hollow. He followed my collarbone with his tongue in one grand sweep. He opened his mouth over my skin and moved his mouth over my chest. As his lips moved, he tugged gently at the hair covering my chest. My nipples were peeked and achy. They didn't stay that way. Jake moved over them and laved then teethed them. I shuddered under the intense wave that hit me. He moved down and trailed down my center with his tongue. He circled around my pubic hair. His cheek brushed my erection. I moaned. He then took me into his mouth. I was unprepared for the intensity that hit me. My cock was surrounded with warmth and wetness but there was also his wonderful tongue caressing me, coaxing me. I moaned with each bob of his head. I cried out his name with each swirl of his tongue. But I wanted more. I wanted to share what Jake was doing with him. I grabbed the edge of the bed and pulled myself around. I was facing Jake's waist. I rolled Jake and myself onto our sides. His mouth never left me. I stared for the first time at someone else's penis. Jake was a lot bigger than me. He was thick and long. But the biggest surprise was that he was uncircumcised. I didn't realize that it was an option. He was engorged to bursting and his foreskin was pulled back only enough that just his piss slit showed. I looked at him for a minute, memorizing his look and shape. When I had been with Tonya, the condom I wore unrolled all the way down me with about a half inch left to cover. It wasn't loose on me either. Jake was an inch or two longer and I doubt he would have been able to wear the condom I had without splitting it. It fascinated me. He was long and thick and straight. It didn't curve up like mine did slightly. His curly pubic hair completely surrounded his cock and covered his balls lightly. He was beautiful. I reached out a hand and grasped him. I pulled his foreskin back to reveal the head. It was shiny and leaking. I reached out with my tongue to taste his essence. I felt Jake buck against me. The head of his cock popped into my mouth. It was thick and tasted wonderful. Almost immediately, Jake calmed and relaxed. His cock slipped from my mouth. I felt bereft so I moved in to take him in my mouth. I swirled my tongue around him, feeling the flared underside and flicking it. His muffled moans pushed me on. I moved down his shaft with my mouth, trying to take as much as I could. I didn't make it very far but Jake didn't try and force it. He rocked slightly with each bob, but he didn't force himself into me. After a short while, my jaw began to ache from the monster in my mouth. I tried to find a more comfortable position and I scraped the head with my teeth. Jake pulled off my cock and cried out. I was afraid I had hurt him. Then I heard him cry out again. He was thickening in my mouth. As he thrust his hips gently, I scraped him again. He called out. Then his hips started moving more urgently, more forcefully. I felt him stiffen even more. Then Jake cried out and I felt a warm flood in my mouth. With each burst, Jake called out louder and louder. When his flood slowed and only trickled into my mouth, Jake moaned my name. I swallowed and really tasted him. He was sweet, a little bitter, and hot. Jake rolled away from me onto his back. His cock left my mouth with a plop. While attending to Jake, I had forgotten about my own aroused condition. I throbbed and ached. I was close, but not close enough. I reached down to take care of my cock but I never got there. Jake brushed my hand away and sat up. Jake pushed me onto my back then slipped off his underwear that had ridden mid-thigh through all this. He then spit in his palm and pushed up to his knees. He took his spit-covered hand and rubbed it along his ass crack. Before I knew what was going on, Jake sat on me and impaled himself. I was amazed at the searing heat, the tightness that enveloped me. But instantly, Jake's body clamped me. He tightened on me to the point where I hurt. I cried out and opened my eyes. Jake was sitting on me, grimacing. Why were we doing something that was causing us both pain? After a few moments in which I thought I might have to live without my penis, Jake opened his eyes and breathed out. He relaxed around me then lifted off me slightly. All I could think was: thank god this is over. Then he sat down again. It was like flicking a switch. My being became light and sensations were zinging through me. I was on fire. I was in heaven. Jake continued to bounce on me. I watched him become erect again. His staff bobbed with his motions, swinging wildly in circles. I was entranced by it, hypnotized by his swinging erection. Slowly, his movements became more even, less cautious. Each movement caused me to moan. I was close and each motion brought me closer. I looked at him. He is tanned and very muscular, I loved the curly patterns on his chest and belly. All that golden hair was beautiful. As I watched him, he continued to move. It was going to be over very soon. I felt the beginnings of the end. My stomach tightened and my testicles pulled up. I felt my thighs clench and tighten. I cried out and spilled myself deep inside Jake. Jake continued to bounce on me for a few moments. Just as I was becoming a little too sensitive to continue, Jake threw his head back and cried out before spraying my face with his cum. He had never even touched himself. The first spurt hit my forehead. His second my chin and lips and the third my neck and chest. After that, my stomach became bathed in his juice. Jake stopped moving and looked down at me. He had tears in his eyes. He pulled off me and lay down beside me. He wrapped me in his arms and spooned behind me. He grabbed the blanket that we had wadded at the foot of the bed and pulled it over us. As we drifted off, his hand stoked my chest lightly. Just before I fell asleep, the words from my heart spilled out and I told Jake I loved him. The next morning I awoke alone in the bed. I crawled out and went looking for Jake. I found a note on the kitchen counter. All it said was that he had to leave. God, I felt empty. I told him I love him and he disappeared. What had happened? What was wrong? I sat down and was sort of lost. It was a few hours before I got up. I got dressed and grabbed my things and drove to my foster parents house. On the drive, I realized that I had called Jake while he was working and he probably had to go back to work. I knew we hadn't had our summer getaway and he probably just needed to finish up before he called me. It was all I had to cling to. Over the next couple of weeks, I saw Tonya. I broke things off with her. She understood. Instead of being lovers, we became friends. She accepted me being gay. I still loved her but it was just a friendly love. I was going to college in September. It was local, but I would be living in the dorms. My foster parents were great people, and they offered to have me stay, I just wanted to be on my own. As the days of summer started to wile away, I got more and more depressed. Jake hadn't called. I was just pathetic enough to drive by his house. His lawn was recently mowed. Even though he was gone for weeks on end, he didn't hire anyone to take care of the house. He enjoyed the hard work of putting it back in order. It relaxed him. Because it was freshly mowed, he had been home recently and he hadn't called. He probably only had one day off between jobs. That's why he didn't call. Every night I drove by his house. Towards the end of August, Jake was home one night when I drove by. I parked two blocks away and snuck to his house. I passed my old house and was surprised by how little I thought of the place. Jake's house was home. He was my home. His house was all on one story. Jake's bedroom window was open. I crawled in and saw him on the bed. It was a hot night and he had a sheet draped over his hips. He was lying on his back and he had an erection. He was thrashing slightly in bed. He was dreaming. I pulled the sheet off him and his skin shone in the moonlight. God I had missed him. I sat beside him and stroked his thigh lightly. He wasn't waking up. I moved my face down to his crotch and nuzzled his erection with my nose, smelling him and loving it. I licked the head with my tongue. I used my pursed lips to peel his foreskin back. I lapped at his head and sensitive underside with my tongue. Jake twitched in his sleep. I started to bob on him. I felt him thicken. I moved over him slowly. I only took half of him, but it filled me completely. After a few moments, Jake's big, strong hands gripped my head. He held me in place. I flicked him with my tongue and he cried out then pushed my head down on him again. I sped up on him and he arched his back. He started to cry out as he released his load in my mouth. When I finished cleaning him up, taking the last of his juices, he released my head. I moved up him, trailing kisses on his belly. I ached and throbbed. I kept kissing up his chest and pulled up to look at him before I kissed him. I never made it to his lips. Jake looked strange. He was furious. I pulled back away from him. He reached for the lamp by his bed and flicked it on. "Why Adam? What right do you have to come into my room and do that to me?" "But I thought..." "What? That you could come in and force me to have sex with you?" "Jake, I -" "You had no right to do that." "I'm sorry." With that I got up and ran out of his room and out the front door. I realized I was fooling myself. He hadn't had just a short break. He didn't want to see me. I hurt and staggered down his front steps. I heard him call my name. I still had the keys to my old house. It was vacant until my mother was either released from the psychiatric prison, or died. I leaped over the fence and went inside. I sank to the floor by the door. I cried. I heard Jake leave his house. He shouted for me, but I wasn't going to answer. He didn't sound angry anymore, but I wasn't going to take the chance. I let him think I was gone. Tears streamed down my face. I was so hard still and I ached. Now I knew what blue balls meant. Obviously I had ruined things with the only man I will ever love. I still didn't know what happened. I was alone, lonelier than I had ever been when my mother was starving me. I knew then that Jake was there for me. He wasn't anymore. I was scared and hurting. Eventually I fell asleep on the floor. The next day, I awoke and Jake's car was gone. A few days later I moved into the dorms. I was starting school. I threw myself into my studies. I've always needed a lot of study time. Not that I was dumb, I just had to have extra time to understand it. My roommate was a freshman too. But he liked to party rather than study. I probably would have too, but my heart just wasn't in it. I missed Jake. On the first of October, I called Jake's house and left a message on his machine: "Jake, its Adam. I moved into the dorms at school. I'm sorry I hurt you. Here is my number in case you want to call me. I won't bother you again though. I love you. I always will. Bye." Towards the end of the month, I let my roommate borrow my car. He dropped me off at the library and promised to pick me up at nine. At eleven he showed up. I got in the car and he drove to a house a couple of miles away. He told me he forgot something. He went inside but didn't come back out. I got out and barged in. My roommate was smoking a pipe that wasn't filled with tobacco. I knew things were bad. But I couldn't find my keys. So I found the phone and called a cab. I might have stayed and joined, but drugs just never affected me. I went out and got my stuff out of my car and sat on the front steps, waiting for my cab. A few minutes later, the yard erupted with cars and sirens. The little house was being raided and I just went with the flow. They arrested me and took me in with the rest of the people in the house. They processed me and were going to perform a drug test on me. I gave my consent and I was put in a separate room to be questioned. I told the police everything that happened. I sat there after they took my statement and waited for my test results. I had a feeling I was believed. So I just sat back and waited. After a couple of hours, the room's door opened. I looked up and saw Jake. He filled the doorway with his broad shoulders. He looked tired and sad. He told me to come with him. I was being released. My roommate corroborated my story. I had only been there a couple of minutes. Also, the house was under surveillance and they knew I hadn't been there very long. They saw me go in with nothing and only got my bag out of the car after I came out of the house. The cab had showed up during the arrest. We got outside the police station and Jake had me crawl into his car. He was silent the entire time. The trip back to the dorms was silent. He didn't look at me. He didn't say a single word. That hurt more than anything. It was four in the morning and Jake refused to talk to me. I had been scared when I was arrested and here I am sitting in Jake's car and he won't even acknowledge my presence. I felt the first hot tear roll down my face. But I refused to wipe it away. I refused to let him know how much I was hurting. When he pulled up to the dorms he parked. I got out and walked away quickly. When I got to the door to the dorms, Jake was right by my side. He took my arm as I went inside. He asked which was my room. I led him to it and unlocked the door. The police had been there to search my roommate's stuff. Jake escorted me inside and closed and locked the door. He told me to take off my clothes. I stared at him, wide-eyed and terrified. He turned and saw me and cursed before walking up to me and taking me in his arms. He buried his face in my neck and rubbed my back and rocked me. Just like he used to when I was scared. I pushed him away. "What the hell is going on Jake?" He had tears in his eyes when he looked at me. I watched one tear after another roll down his cheeks. He was trembling and sobbing. "I'm so sorry Adam. I am so, so sorry." I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around him. He clutched me so tightly. He started kissing my neck, my chin, moving closer and closer to my mouth. He kissed me then. Oh god, I had missed him so much. I kissed him back, met him tongue thrust for tongue thrust. I was hard and I wanted to be with him. Jake pushed me down on my bed. He pawed at me, tore at my clothes and his until we were naked. He tightened his arms around me and started rubbing against me. Each movement sent waves of pleasure through me. We kissed and thrust against each other. We both came after only a couple of minutes. He collapsed on top of me and we dozed. When we got cold, Jake rolled us to our sides and pulled the blankets over us. I was nestled with my head pillowed on his arm and one of his thighs between mine. His other arm clutched me to him and my nose was buried in the pelt of golden curls on his chest. I felt good, my body was sated and I felt safe again. We slept. When we awoke the next morning, Jake told me to get dressed. He told me to pack a bag and we left. He drove to a grocery store and bought some stuff and we drove to the cabin. He smiled at me the whole two hours of the drive. He couldn't stop touching me. He brushed my leg with his hand and we were both driven nearly to the brink before we got there. Once inside, Jake pulled me into the cabin. While he threw the refrigerated items in the fridge, I went into the bedroom and stripped. I pulled down the covers and lay on the bed, prone and erect. Jake came into the door and gasped. The look in his eyes was pure, unadulterated lust. Fire leaped in his eyes. He pulled off his clothes and cursed when he tripped on his shoe. I laughed while he stood up. He grinned at me and it was almost savage. He jumped onto the bed and landed on me. He was hard and it ground into my hip as he kissed me. We kissed and rolled on the bed, neither of us wanting it to end. We stroked and nuzzled our bodies. I was aroused and aching but I didn't want it to end. Jake rolled us to our sides and stopped us moving. He pulled away from my lips and looked at me. He was very serious looking. We were aching and I felt him throb and leak on my belly, but I could tell he wanted to talk. "Adam, I need to talk." He laughed. "I mean I want to be with you so bad right now, but we need to talk." I nodded at him. He started talking to me. "Adam, I need to apologize. I was cruel to you. God, I never meant to hurt you. I was so shocked when I woke with you in my room. I've been fighting things for a while now. I wanted to be a cop. My dad was a cop and I knew that I wanted to follow. But, being gay and a cop doesn't work. I mean, the last twenty years have gotten better, but cops serve the public. The public on the whole is scared and ignorant. "I tried to be with a girl. I knew I wanted guys and that I was gay but I tried once. Oh god, it was a failure. Up to then I hoped that I could lie and be normal. But it was no use. So I became a cop and took the undercover position. I could be gone a lot and have an excuse why I wasn't dating. I hate lying, but I was scared. I still am. I got a promotion in July. I am now second in command of my department. The drug bust at that house yesterday was my last undercover assignment. I'm now at a desk. "What I'm trying to say, Adam, is that when we were here last, in this bed, was my first time. I haven't been harboring any sick thoughts of you and only been waiting for you to grow up, I wasn't attracted to you until we kissed. When we made love, I was a virgin. "I love you Adam. But I was also confused. All I could think about the next morning was: what if I did love you all along? What if I was just waiting for you to grow up? I was still wrestling with it when you snuck into my room." He lowered his forehead to mine and apologized again. I was shocked still. Jake was feeling guilty because he loved me. I thought he didn't want me. "Adam, I was so cold at the station because it took everything I had not to grab you and kiss you. I couldn't, we're both a part of the case. If I had, it would have ruined a lot of very hard work. I thought I could lie about my feelings. Drop you off at the dorm and say goodbye. I was wrong. I can't hide what I feel anymore. I love you." He kissed me again. He nuzzled my chin with his nose. Then he looked in my eyes. "I told my family. I even told my commander." He laughed, but it was more like a sob. "They didn't care. My dad was angry and hurt because I lied and my mom was sorry that I had been hurting for so long. My commander told me it didn't matter, just not to bring it to work." He kissed me again. "My family knows you. We're going to be okay. When we go back on Monday, we'll get your stuff and move it back to my house." He looked sheepish. "If you want to that is?" I laughed and threw my arms around him and kissed him. Oh god, he tasted good. He hugged me to him tightly. We just held and kissed. We were locked together, my cock against his belly and his between my legs. We rocked slightly while we kissed. The head of his penis thrust between my checks and grazed my pucker. I arched my back. Jake pulled back and looked at me. He was trembling. "Adam, can we... Can we try, I promise to be gentle?" "But it hurt you so much." "I wanted it too bad. I didn't know it would hurt. I'd never done it before and didn't know to be patient. But we can go slow, I promise to be gentle. I love you, Adam." I nodded. Jake flipped me onto my stomach. He massaged me. He nuzzled my neck with his nose and lips and stroked my back. He was lying on top of me and I felt him hard between my legs. Jake moved down my body, nipping and kissing between my shoulders, licking down my spine. He kissed then bit each globe of my ass. He trailed his fingers through my crack, roughing the hair and skimmed over my rosebud. I moaned. Jake then got on his belly between my thighs and dove onto my pucker. He sucked my ring and flicked it with his tongue. It was like touching match to flame, I lit up. I was on fire and I wanted him to never stop. Each lap of his tongue had me relaxing my ass. I felt my ring give way to his insistent tongue. His first plunge with his mouth almost had me cumming. I wanted all of Jake. I bucked my hips against him and told him I wanted him. But he didn't stop. He pulled up when I whimpered and told me he wanted it to be perfect. He told me he loved me again and couldn't wait to learn everything. I knew we were new to this. The idea of exploring everything together, of learning each new way to please each other for the rest of our lives was going to be better than anything. I whimpered his name with each stroke of his wet, velvety tongue. I was ready. I was dripping. It was too much and I came against the sheets. Jake reached under me, grazing my oversensitive cock head and I bucked again. He scooped up my hot cum from the sheets and I heard it squelch on his cock. He pulled his mouth away and placed his throbbing penis at my opening. He pushed so gently and I was so ready, I parted instantly. I was so relaxed after cumming that Jake slid into me easily. I was ready and arched my hips to meet his. Once Jake was in me to the hilt, he pushed my body down and lay completely on mine. I felt the warm furriness of his chest on my back, his strong legs wrapped with mine and his arms stroked my arms and sides in long, sensuous strokes. He kissed my neck and nuzzled my ear as he started moving in me. He moved with short, slow strokes and each push hit a trigger inside me. I felt myself get hard again. I took my hands and cupped his head so I could kiss him. Once we had kissed, he twined his fingers with mine and moved his body over me, rubbing his entire hairy front against my back. I was in ecstasy. I felt my load rising again. With each continued thrust, the pleasure caused me to clamp onto Jake. The first time caused him to hiss. The second and third made him moan. Within seconds I felt him tighten and release deep inside me. He called out my name with each jet of his semen and shuddered against my back. He eventually slowed his bucking hips and dove one last time deep into me, deeper than he had been before as he collapsed in total sated contentment. It was all it took, he hit my trigger and I came against the sheets again. Jake stayed on top of me and in me for a long time. We caught our breath again. He moved a little over me, bracing his arms and taking some of the weight off of me. He kissed the back of my neck and asked if I was okay. I could only whimper. He got concerned and pulled out of me and rolled away, rolling me to face him. He cupped my face and called me every endearment I had ever thought I would never hear from him. He was looking so concerned. All I could do was smile. I was so limp from pleasure. I kissed him and whispered that he had relaxed me so completely I couldn't answer him before. He threw back his head and laughed. Then he gathered me in his arms and cuddled my body with his. I don't know how long we lay there, sticky and sated, before we roused again. I awoke before him. He was still lying on his back and had a silly grin on his face. I smiled and looked him up and down. His cock was relaxed and lay against his hip. My mouth lay within inches of his nipple. I latched onto it and laved it, thinking that it would be the best alarm clock in the world. I felt Jake rise for the occasion. I pulled off his nipple, it was red and beaded, and looked in his eyes. They were two bright blue pools and there were tears in them. I started to talk but he covered my mouth. He told me he loved me. I smiled then moved between his legs. My hips rocked against his and I pressed gently against his opening. I was going to be inside him and it was going to be good for the both of us. I rubbed my engorged head against his hole, back and forth. When he started to open, Jake arched his back and his nipple came to my mouth again. I took it into my mouth and pushed forward with my hips. Jake parted under me. He cried out. I halted my forward push. I looked at him. He was in ecstasy, writhing beneath me. He told me not to stop. I pushed in to the hilt. I felt Jake close around me. I was in a hot, moist fist that gloved me so completely. I felt him clamp me gently. I moved inside him. I pulled almost all the way out only to thrust back instantly. I rubbed my chest against his. We were too different in height for us to be mouth to mouth, but we tilted and stretched so our lips could meet. With the first brush of our lips, Jake pushed down to meet me. We were now moving in tandem. We were one pulsating, writhing mass of nerve endings. One day soon, I would learn a little control, but not yet. I came almost instantly. The first pulse was painful in its quantity. I cried out and felt Jake convulse around me. His blasts against my belly were in time with mine inside him. When the convulsions stopped, I collapsed against his belly. Slowly my breathing evened and my cock softened and slipped out of Jake. We dozed again. We spent that weekend in bed, the shower, skinny-dipping in the lake, even making love on the rug in front of the fire. When we left Monday morning, we couldn't stop smiling at each other. Jake had one hand on the wheel and the other grasped mine. I did gather my stuff and moved into Jake's home. In college I studied hard and graduated a year early. I became a counselor. I wanted to help children who had been abused and neglected. I wanted to help out those the way Jake had helped me. When I graduated, Jake was in the audience and cried because he was so proud of me. Two years later, Jake was promoted to captain. I know he dealt with a lot of crap. Ten percent of the population is gay, so there had to have been at least twenty people at the police station who were gay. But no one was open like Jake and I. But even after ten years, we are still together. He is proud of me and loves me. We've only ever known each other. We read and watch videos sometimes for new ideas. We try everything together, at least once. But we do like learning new things. Neither of us knows more than the other. We are a couple made up of equals. Sometimes love is right under your nose, or even over the fence in your neighbor's backyard.