Date: Thu, 9 Dec 2010 20:45:46 -0700 From: dnrock@rock.com Subject: Photo 6 Photo by: dnrock(dnrock@rock.com) 6: What's it all about It was time to head west, time to consolidate my late spring and early summer work. Time for Brad to reevaluate himself, both sexually and educationally, time to prepare for the fall. Time for me to reevaluate my life too. We allotted two days of travel along highways 2, crossing western Montana, Idaho panhandle and Washington to Bellingham. My parents would be happy to see me and glad to meet Brad. While on the drive Brad and I had a good chance to talk about things other than work. Talk is good, but action is always better and we had a hard time keeping our hands off each other. Brad was gaining in self confidence and beginning to understand how others viewed him. He was still not quite sure how he wanted to relate to others. He was quite sure how he wanted to relate to me. I explained as best I could, my experience is limited in these matters, that he would, can and should, have many different kinds of relationship with many different people. He may be my boy and me his man, and we surely will and do love each other but he also loves his brother and sister, mother and father and Linda. He will learn to love my parents too. Not as parents but as adult friends. He will have girl and boy friends, some relationships will be romantic some not, some sexual some not. So do I and so will I. We both or perhaps just one of us may find romance with women desirable. One or both of us may desire a family in the future. All that is and will be okay, I made a big point of nothing being worthwhile being easy. We, I hoped, would always be friends and lovers. What we shared together can not be shared with others but that did not mean we could not share our love or affection with others. "Don't you want to know how far I got with Linda?" "Not enough to ask, but if you choose to tell me..." "Not enough to ask?" "Brad, you know how we feel about each other, you also know we will both be interested in hearing what ever one wants to tell the other. I am interested but would not ask, in case you do not wish to share, that way you would not be placed in a position of having to withhold from me. We are too close to have secretes from each other, so if I don't ask you are never under any obligation to tell, unless you want to." "I think I get it. Would you ever be jealous of some girl or other boy I was interested in?" "No, not jealous, unless you and I could not share our special kind of relationship at all and then I hope only jealous enough to keep me close to you." "Apollo, I'm not sure I can be so magnanimous if you had another lover." "Yes you can and yes you will Brad, just ask yourself what is more important, my feelings or my lovers happiness? Don't answer. Life is a lot like one of my pictures. I freeze an instant in time and the next instant something has changed and the next picture will be different even if only just a bit. We know that, but we take and freeze that frame never the less. It gives us pleasure, or it should, but we both know the next frame will never be exactly the same, ever. Life is just a series of pictures, frozen in our memories and always new and renewing with every subtle change." Brad placed his hand on my arm and my shoulder, then my leg. "We went all the way, I liked it too. You were right, you said I would. I sure like her but I don't think I love her like I love you." "Thanks for sharing with me and you are quite correct, you will never love Linda or any one else quiet the same as you love me, close perhaps but not quite the same." "I get it, every relationship has a slightly different history, so every one is unique." That boy is sure a lot smarter then any other 15 year olds I know or ever knew. He was sure a lot smarter then I was at his age, but that was a long time ago, 5 years even. We headed west on highway 2 through Libby, Bonners Ferry and Sand Point, toward Spokane. Around Bonners Ferry we tuned into a Spokane rock station, singing along with the songs. As we approached Sandpoint, Idaho the station had a live report about a kidnapped child in Spokane. It had only happened 30 minutes before the reporter gave the boys name as Jonas Sanders, he is blond, blue eyed, nine years old, dressed in a light blue shirt and matching shorts, he is hearing impaired. The boy's mother was frantic and one witness reported seeing a dark blue late model car speeding away. The abduction occurred from a school playground. We were a bit shocked. Later they said hearing impairment was profoundly death from birth. We both expressed our anger at this kind of thing. We joked a bit about keeping our eyes open for young Jonas as well as for ourselves. Brad was a bit concerned that the cult people would try something again. I rather hoped they would, being prepared for them this time, Snipe would make a conspiracy case for sure. Entering Priest River, Idaho and its close by neighbor, Newport, Wa. we were overwhelmed by the number of dark blue, late model cars we saw. Brad grabbed his mini binoculars and examined every one for a little blond boy passenger. "Dam popular color if you ask me." In Newport we looked for a place to get some refreshments. I spotted a connivence store near the center of town. Highway 2 takes a left turn south and highway 20 heads north. This intersection has a traffic light and we stopped in the left turn lane. I spotted a place just around the corner and what do you know, one of the cars parked at the end of row was a dark blue Pontiac. We thought nothing much of it, laughing about another blue car, pulling in between the Pontiac and a yellow Honda. Brad was was up and out in a flash. As I got out I turned to close my door and looked into the blue Pontiac. Sitting in the back seat was a small blond boy with a light blue shirt. "No, this can't be," I thought. "Brad, hold up," I called, "your not going to believe this." He held up and turned to face me. I pointed at the blue car, "small blond boy in a light blue shirt," I said. He looked incredulous and waited for me. I taped on the car's window but the boy paid no attention. I tapped again louder but still no attention. I rocked the car by placing my hands on the door and roof line and pushing. The motion could be felt if the sound could not be heard. The boy looked up, with fear on his face and in his eyes. I signed to him, "are you Jonas, are you okay?" He signed back, this time with the beginning of a smile, "yes." I signed, "have you been kidnapped," hoping I had the correct sign for kidnapped and that a ten year old would be able to read it. I used the ASL sign taken away. "Yes," was his reply. I signed, "my friend and I will get you out." He smiled. Two people came out of the store and man and a women about mid 30's nice enough looking. I figured they might be the kidnappers as they hurried toward me. I moved to the back of the Jeep and called to Brad come quick I lost my contact lens. I dropped to my knees and began looking for the lens, right behind the Pontiac. They could not leave, at least for a little while, I was in the way. Brad rushed over and leaned down, "911 now," I said and Brad moved. He got the cell phone from the Jeep and called, standing just out of ear shot. We had the license number and location. I requited the woman and several other people to help look for the lens. I was on my hands and knees behind the Pontiac inspecting every square inch of tarmac complaining how hard it is to only see out of one eye. I had the woman, a teenage girl and an older gentleman all helping. I kept saying, I blinked my eyes and it popped out right here, pointing to the area directly behind the Pontiac. After Brad finished the call, he replaced me having two good eyes, as he put it. I stood up and continued to look around, Now Brad was on his hands and knees, right behind the car. I got my digital camera, setting the zoom to wide angel and began taking pictures from the hip. Pictures of the kidnappers, the car, the license plate and of course Brad and the others looking for my contact lens. I looked too, but had to work hard not to laugh, Brad and the others did look some funny. The male kidnapper was getting agitated. He did not want to open the car until he was ready to go but he wanted to get going, that was obvious. I guess it was the woman's idea to stop in the first place, something he complained about as she tried to withdraw from the search. Jonas, was trying to see the action and the man kept telling him to sit down. I guess he did not know the kid could not hear, or he was some stupid. He came up to me saying he had to go and we should get out of his way. I complained that I could not drive with only one eye and we just had to keep looking. I suggested he let the boy out of the car to have some air as it was a hot day but he refused, finely unlocking it and opening a window. Jonas was belted in and the man kept very close to the door so he could not escape. I suggested he help look to speed things up but he refused. Finally we saw two police cars approaching. So did the fellow. He urged us to get out of his way but Brad and I refused, as the others moved off. The woman moved to get in the car but the cops were now pulling into the drive. She went to run but Brad blocked her and I took off after the man saying in a loud voice. "loose striker going in on goal, Apollo is the only defense back, he approaches and tackles the bastard," with my best Howard Stern imitation. In fact, I easily out ran him and just tripped him, kind of like you might do if you were to take a good penalty because you could not tackle the ball, well he didn't have a ball now did he. His face hit the tarmac hard and his nose and forehead were cut and bruised. The cops showed up just as I was about to drop kick the bastard into next week. "Okay son, I'll take it from here," he said with his gun drawn and hand cuffs at the ready. The boy came running up to me as soon as one of the cops freed him. He jumping in my arms and pressing his face into my shoulder. I carried him back to the cop and after holding him a bit, sat him on the hood of the Jeep so we could talk. "Officer, I am Apollo Bidis, this is my assistant Bradley Sumewalt and this brave little man is Jonas." I was signing for Jonas the entire time. "I'm constable Frankenford, are you Jonas Sanders," he asked, looking at he boy and extending his hand? "Yes sir," he signed shaking the officers hand. "Are those two people," pointing to the man and women now in hand cuffs, the people that took you from the school in Spokane?" "Yes sir," "Did they hurt you, in any way, Jonas?" Jonas looked quite agitated as he started to sign, "He hit me several times," pointing to his back, "he held his hand over my mouth and he kept yelling at me but I don't know what he was saying." "I don't think he can lip read very well officer," I said while signing for Jonas' benefit. Jonas nodded in agreement. We talked a bit longer and the officer asked us to sit tight while he made some phone calls. Bard went into the store and got some sodas for us and Jonas climbed back into my arms pressing his face into my shoulder again. Jonas needed to pee. I asked one of the officers to take him into the store. We all went over to the police station. Jonas did not want to be separated from me but he settled for Brad riding in the back of police car with officer Frandenford and him in the front. I think he was quite scared and wanted his only from of communication, me, close at hand. But when one of the officers put his hat on Jonas' head, while buckling his seat belt the boy realized this could be fun and not all that frightening after all. We told our story and I made hard copies of the pictures for the cops. They praised us for our fast thinking and using the contact lens ruse instead of force. It turned out the man had a firearm in the car, that was easily accessible. We stayed with Jonas until his parents arrived with a couple of officers from Spokane. Jonas would not do anything if either Brad or I were not present. The cops were all very friendly and sensitive to Jonas communication difficulties. Constable Frankenford finely asked me how I had learn to sign so well? "One of my best friends and playmates from age 4 is deaf. All of us kinds learned to sign. He went to a special school but we all played together, so it was learn to sign or not have fun." Brad would meet him when we arrived in Bellingham. Mr. and Mrs. Sanders were very grateful and very happy to see Jonas alive, and quite well. We did spoil him a bit with junk food and ice-cream, I hoped he would not be sick on the ride home. The Spokane cops wanted us to follow them to Spokane which we did. In Spokane their was a news conference and we retold the story of Jonas rescue several times. Since my pictures were the only ones of the incident, I managed to sell most of them for standard stringer fees, since they were reprinted nationally I got a bit of professional publicity, which is even more valuable than the fees. At the press conference we were asked all kinds of questions. One woman reporter got up and signed her question to me, which I translated as she did. "You said you and Mr. Sumewalt were not afraid for your safety, were you afraid for Jonas' safety?" I signed back and spoke, "Yes I was concerned, he was so brave, you just didn't let it distract you." The Spokane police chief tried to give us a reward but we refused to take it. We did not help Jonas for the money, I told them, "we did what needed to be done, because it was the right thing to do. If you want to give money away then make a donation to the hearing impaired on our behalf." Agent Snipe called the Spokane Chief when he saw us on CNN. I don't know what he said but we were sure treated like royalty for the next two days. Jonas' parents were very nice people and very appreciative. Jonas was just filled with admiration toward us. We visited his summer day camp the next day, so he could "show off to my friends." Jonas had me translate his version of the events to his class. The first part was quite factual but as the story unfolded... I'm not saying Jonas was not being truthful but perhaps he exaggerated just a bit, well his perspective and description was a bit different than mine. He did admit to being very much afraid until I signed to him, promising to get him free. From that point on, "I was not afraid at all, I just knew Apollo would get me out of that car. I thought he had gone nuts when he started crawling on the ground looking for something, but I did not know what it was. What's a contact lens?" I explained what it was and then everyone seemed to understand. I showed them the pictures of Brad on his knees. Brad told the class what I yelled when I ran after the man and tripped him, reminding the kids not to do things like that when they play games. He also reminded Jonas' fellow summer day campers to work extra hard on their communication skills so they could become close friends with Jonas. The class wanted to know how I learned to sign. I told them my friend Bob taught me when I was in kindergarten. He and I are still good friends and we still hang together, so I get to keep up my signing skills. "Jonas could teach you how to sign just like Bob taught me." We pulled in to my parents driveway mid afternoon and a couple of days late. The sky was beginning to cloud over. I figured rain by evening. That is part of living by the sea, lots of rain. Being summer my parent were home, greeting us warmly. The greetings were even better the warm. Dad had a big banner over the garage saying "Welcome Home Apollo and Brad, Heroes Both", my deaf friend Robert was there waiting for us. My mother Aphrodite and father Plato tried to make Brad feel welcome. My parents are second generation immigrants, and while we all have Greek sounding names, from a cultural view we are just like anyone else in Bellingham. The Greek culture appears in subtle way, a few decor elements, foods, some attitudes and lots of visible physical affection. We often hug and kiss each other on the cheek. I don't think Brad expected my father to do that, my mother yes but not dad. While growing up, my close friends, I have two, Robert being one of them, were always treated like family, so they would treat Brad like a son too. The Bidis home is a modest three bedroom bi level with an attached garage. The back of the house faces north and with the large lower story windows that gives me a lot of studio space on the lower level. My photographic art is hanging in every room. I have a good sized bedroom and the third is mother's office. I know they had lots of questions about Brad's and my adventures and his future, they held off. After a brief rest, lots of talk with Robert and some food, Brad and I unpacked the Jeep. My dad helped Brad with the camping equipment, showing him how to clean, repair and store it. Bob and I took care of the photography stuff. Mother did ask if Brad was to share my room, should she get a second bed for him? Yes and No, and that was that. She made space for him in the dresser and closet. Over dinner, which would be a long informal affair, we would get a chance to aquatint and reacquaint ourselves. Mom wanted to know all about our travels, adventures, Linda and Veronica, and Brad's family. Since my parents don't sign much beyond simple words and greetings, I could give Bob the real scoop on our lady friends and the like. His first question was, "is Brad my lover?" I indicated we were. "I didn't know you were in to boys?" Robert signed. "I didn't either until I met him," I replied. "Will you share, he is just to beautiful for words," Robert asked, "I didn't know you were in to boys, Bob?" "I'm not really but I would have been with you," "With me?" "I have always loved you Apollo, I would have had you in an instant." "Okay, I'll share Brad if he is willing but not until we share each other. I too, have always loved you." Robert and I talked a while about our relationship and how we could have been such close friends for so long and never, well even experimented with sex. He reminded me we were both so into girls and our social group, which we feared would not understand, it just never got going. Later that night I asked Brad if he wanted to learn sign language. Reminding him the best place to learn a new language was in bed and Bob would love to teach him. Brad was all for that but only if I would help him learn too. By dinner time the rain had started but since we had a mountain of paperwork ahead of us it did not matter. A few days later, dad asked us to take a brake from work and accompany him fishing. When Plato asks you to go fishing he is more interested in the father/son experience then catching fish. In fact, he did not ask me directly but approached Brad while I was in the darkroom. Brad is not all that keen on fishing, I suspect because he had little experience with it but he accepted the invitation. Plato likes to teach, his whole life revolves around teaching. He teaches by example. lectures of course, and applies the Socratic method as an art form. I think he has let his name go to his head but then he probably figures I did too. "The fish in this lake are not interested in our bate today," Plato was saying as we sat on the small dock with our lines dangling in the still blue water. I went to the Jeep for another thermos of coffee. Returning, flask in hand, Brad and Plato were deep into one of dad's dialogues. "I have not thought all that much about it sir," Brad said as I approached. "What do you believe your parents will say when you tell them and why do you think that?" "I figure my mother will freak out, after what happened at the camp she made me attend, I frankly don't care what she has to say. Apollo figured my dad will be more interested in my happiness and well being then where I live." "What Apollo thinks is not the issue here, what do you think?" "I don't quite know what to think, dad has never said anything much on the subject. I know he was devastated by my mother's turning so overly religious. He could not make sense of it and when they split he put in for sea duty on the first available assignment. Dad always tells me how much he missed us kids." "Your father loves you and your brother and sister, I am sure but what do you think his reaction will be toward your abandoning your siblings, jumping ship?" I wanted to participate but knew better and just kept my mouth shut. Sitting down next to Brad, which placed him between dad and I, as Brad struggled to articulate his feelings to this relative stranger. "I think once he gets to know Apollo and sees how well we compliment each other and how close we have become, he will not object." "How close have you two become, Brad?" "About as close as two men can be sir, my brother, my young Greek God, my mentor, my partner in adventure and my male lover." "Well son, us fathers love our children and because we love them we want only good things for them. I'm sure your dad will support you as best he can. You two are a pair of charmers and I'm sure Apollo will charm him just as you have charmed me." Plato said, as he gave Brad a good squeeze around his shoulders. He then launched into a long discussion of the philosopher Plato's treatment of love in the dialogue Philebus relating it to the culture of the original Plato's time. Heavy stuff for sure. For a geoscience guy dad knew a lot about philosophy and ancient Greek cultural history. He explained to us how it worked on Crete and in the other city states. Mostly we understood that young men of wealthy families would often take a contemporary or slightly younger male lover. This was a long term bond. In other places older men would take a boy, teenager, as a lover and apprentice. In other places homosexual lovers were preferred in the military as bonded couples. "Dad, when you were my age did you have a male lover?" "Yes Apollo, and he is still my lover, although we don't see much of each other these days. It is your Uncle Thomas, who is not my brother but my second cousin, but you have always called him uncle." "Why don't you see him much anymore, I remember how often you and he would be together when I was younger?" "Well we are both very busy with our work, our families and sex is no longer as important to us as it was when were your age. He lives in Olympia now Brad, and that makes it more difficult for us to see each other. In addition his wife, Sophia is not Greek and she does not understand some of the old culture. She does not know and must not, do you two understand?" "Yes father," I said He looked at Brad for some kind of answer. "Yes sir," Brad responded. "Brad please stop calling me sir. I get about all I can stand of that in the classroom. How about Plato." "Okay Plato," Brad said with a smile of relief on his baby face. "What does mom think about all this?" I asked. "Aphrodite understands the old Greek Way, our families have always kept some of the traditions of Athens for those that wanted them, even through the Turkish occupation and in spite of the Orthodox Church. But do you two fully understand?" "I think we do." I knew I had to demonstrate that understanding. "We are free to love each other and share sex with each other. We are free to be homosexual lovers or we can be bisexual lovers and one or both of us can have families like you and Uncle Thomas." "Yes you have the essence. It is a lot more complex than that, but you have the essence. Brad is still a bit to young to be making life long commitments, he should not and you should not ask that of him." "Plato, I only know how much I love Apollo and how much he means to me." "I understand that Brad, been their in my own life. You two are just getting started, Apollo is building his career and you are beginning to find you way in the world. Take the advice of your oracle. Go slow and grow strong. You are Odysseus but this is not a wine dark sea. Like him you have no map and unlike him you have no Ithaca to steer for. The Ancients were wrong about one thing however, our lives are not controlled by the Faits. We are subjects of chance, something strong in the homeric tradition. Another of those ancient paradoxes. It was chance that brought you together and it will be chance that influences your tomorrow. The most important things in our lives are not preordained, they are the result of what we do with those chances." "But Apollo saved my life." "Yes, I did but it was chance that brought your need and my knowledge together. I did what needed to be done, what I had been trained to do. It was done with no obligation or need for reciprocity as one human person to another. The fact that we became friends and now lovers is not a result of my helping you when needed. It is a result of the chance meeting of two hormone driven, emotionally vulnerable young men, recognizing each others needs and being able to fill those needs. Like dad said, it is what you do with the chances that count." "Aphrodite, can explain the biological and developmental science behind all this, just ask her, when you have a few hours, that is. Understand that your feelings and emotions are not limited or diminished in any way, in fact they are being celebrated as we act freely on our genetic substrate. If we were ruled by Fait and not our more or less free will acting in response to chance then we are nothing more then actors in someone else's play. I don't know about you but I want to be the playwright." "Ya, me too." Brad said while flashing a big smile of admiration toward Plato. Do you think my dad will be as supportive of me as you and Mrs. Bidis are?" "Well that is hard to say not knowing him. If you are concerned at all I would just be honest, but not demanding. Just don't ask him to support some kind of life commitment or action you should not be making or doing anyway. Make sure he understands the road you are taking has no fixed destination, that your life, like his, is a work in progress. Apollo tells me you were getting thick with a young lady only a few days ago. Make sure that he knows you want his love and support and guidance to help you along the way. Few fathers will fail to respond positively. They may not understand the child's emotions but they will respect them and the child's desire to make his or her own way in the world. Mothers tend to want control, it is a female thing." Later Brad ask my parents to accompany us to San Diego for the meeting with the CPO. They were pleased by this, not because they thought their presence would make all that much difference but because Brad respected them and trusted them enough to ask. I still had no idea what would become of Brad in the fall. For a highly creative mind like mine and a natural planner, this was not normal. I think the problem was all of my ideas and plans were mostly self serving and I knew it. Perhaps Brad knew it too. Mom and dad took their own car as they would need to be back for the start of classes in a few days. I had one large pile of art work to deliver to the CPO's ship mates. Since my work was selling so well, Brad was able to bank a fair bit of money over the summer. The CPO phoned, e-mailed frequently to us and often chatted over the computer. He praised Brad frequently, seemed to enjoy hearing about our adventures, but never spoke about the future. He did make one comment about trying to contact him before his ship got our news from CNN. Even when asked he made some excuse for not being specific. I think this bothered Brad but he said nothing to me. I know he expressed a bit concerned to mom and dad. Plato, just brushed off his concerns saying, impossible to do much from a ship in the middle of the ocean. Okay, maybe so. Brad would call his brother and sister often but always at one of their relatives houses. He still refused to speak to his mother. I know this bothered Aphrodite, being a mother she emphasized with the women, but knowing Brad's feelings of betrayal, which she also respected, mom just said nothing. His family, as mine, were very interested in our adventures, especially when we collected our 15 minutes of fame on CNN. What I did not know until later, was dad's cousin, who lives in Berwyn, was keeping an eye on the family, as were the navy's social services people. I also did not know that Plato was having lots of conversations with Milton Sumewalt about Brad's future.