Date: Sat, 22 Mar 2003 23:21:53 EST
From: ErastesTouch@aol.com
Subject: Point of View - chapter 4

Legal Notice:
The following story may contain descriptions of graphic sexual acts.  These
acts may be between boys or between a man and a boy.  The story is a work
of fiction and has no basis in reality.

The author, or his designee, retains copyright to this story.  There may be
no reproducing or distribution of this story without expressed written
consent.

I wish to extend my thank you to Ed for his editorial assistance with this
chapter.

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Point of View - by Erastes                        Copyright 2002 by Erastes
Chapter 4 - The tribulation.                      December 2002

We got back home and I had Jared take his things upstairs and put them away
in the guest bathroom.  I had given him a shelf in the linen closet, where
he could keep his things, and he was tickled to feel that this was his
space.  When he came back downstairs, I grabbed the bag with the things I
purchased for him, and we went out and put them on his bike.  I installed
the headlight on his handlebars, and we put reflectors on each wheel and on
the back of his seat.  After we finished doing all that, he just looked at
me and said, "Thank you," once more.  I felt extremely good that I was able
to do this for him, and now I wouldn't have to worry so much about him when
he was riding between his house and mine, especially after the sun had gone
down.  I gathered up my flashlights, the ones I had attached to his bike a
couple of nights before, and as we walked back toward the front door, he
slid his arm around my waist.  When he did that, I put my arm around his
shoulders, and it was just like a father and son might do when they were
together.  It was really a neat feeling.

It was now getting close to dinnertime, so I suggested to Jared that he
probably should get ready to head home.  He began to argue with me, telling
me he still had a little longer before he had to leave, but I told him that
I didn't want to give his mother any reason to question why he wasn't
getting home like he used to.  I told him he could either come back later,
or I'd see him tomorrow, and he finally gave in, telling me he'd see me
later.  He walked down to his bike and got ready to leave, but not before I
saw him check out all the new items we just added to his bike.  He walked
around his bike and looked at it from all angles before he got on it,
making sure he got the full impact of how it looked now.

After Jared left, I fixed myself something to eat, but I also spent a great
deal of time thinking about our shopping trip, especially the little show
he put on for me in the dressing room.  He obviously knew what I liked,
wasn't afraid to show it to me, and I really think he wanted us to do much,
much more.  I thought about how I never wanted to act on my urges and force
a boy into doing things he didn't want to do, but here was a very willing
young man, so I had to consider if this made any difference?  As much as I
wanted to think so, I finally had to admit that it was still illegal, as
Jared was still below the legal age of consent.  Even if we both wanted to
do it, I'd have to put those thoughts out of my mind for now, as the
consequences could be devastating for me.

Now I began to wonder if he'd still want to do those types of things with
me once he became legal, and how I would handle it if he did.  I concluded
that if he were still willing at that time, then I'd have no reason to turn
him down, as I wanted him more than he would ever know.  I think I decided
that if that time and opportunity arrived, I'd act on it, because at that
time we could each legally make such a commitment.  I just wasn't sure if I
could last that long, and I only hoped he wouldn't change his mind by then.
If he did decide he was no longer interested, I'd have to accept his
decision, but I was determined that I would still be like a father to him,
no matter what, because that would be better than losing him altogether.

I was just finishing cleaning up my dishes and thinking about going
upstairs and relieving myself before he came back, but then I heard the
doorbell ring, so I went to answer it.  There stood Jared, but I couldn't
figure out why he rang the bell.  He generally just came in now, so this
had me a bit perplexed.  That's when I noticed he wasn't alone this time,
and I concluded this was the reason for his using the doorbell this time.
"Hi, Bob," he began.  "I'm back, to do more work for you.  Oh, yeah, and I
brought my brother with me this time.  He didn't want to stay home alone
tonight.  I hope that's all right?"

"Of course it is.  And your brother's name is?"  Jared now looked a little
embarrassed, because he had forgotten to introduce us.

"Bob, this is Josh.  Josh, this is my friend, Bob."

"Hello, Josh.  I'm glad to meet you."  At this point Josh stepped slightly
forward and out of the shadows.  I could now see some similarities with
Jared, like the blue of his eyes, but other than that, they really didn't
look all that much alike.  He had mousy brown hair and was heavier set than
Jared, but he was still a handsome young man, for a ten-year old.  Meekly
he extended his hand in greeting.

"Hello, Bob, or shouldn't I call you that?" he said.

"No, Bob is fine.  Come on in, boys."  They followed me into the house.
"As long as Josh is here, why don't we forget about doing any work tonight,
and we'll just relax and have some fun.  What should we do?  Watch a movie
or play cards, because I'm not sure if I can find my games."

"A movie would be okay with me," Jared answered.

"Yeah, that'd be okay.  What movies do you got?" Josh added.

"What movies do I have?" I corrected, "and I have many.  Why don't we take
a look?"  I opened up the cabinet in which the movies were stored, and the
boys soon picked one out...well, I think Josh picked it out.  He wanted to
watch 'Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone', so that's what we did.  I
went to sit in my usual chair, but Jared grabbed my hand and pulled me over
toward the couch.  I wasn't sure this was wise, and I hoped he would be
able to control himself if we all sat together.  I didn't want Josh to get
the wrong idea here.

I sat on the sofa, and Jared sat beside me.  I expected Josh to sit on the
other side of Jared, but he sat on the other side of me instead.  It wasn't
a problem, but it did surprise me.  As soon as the movie started, Jared
leaned his head against my shoulder, but this time I didn't put my arm
around him, and I just let him lean against me.  Josh didn't do anything
like that, and he didn't even sit all that close to me, but I was still
surprised he had chosen to sit beside me.

Through the entire movie, Jared continued to lean against my shoulder, and
I longed to wrap my arm around him, but I didn't dare.  I was too concerned
about what Josh might think or say, if he saw me doing that.  Both boys
were really into the movie, so they were concentrating on that, instead of
anything else, and we were all enjoying ourselves immensely.  When the
movie ended, I asked them both if they would like to go for some ice cream,
as it was a warm evening and I thought a treat would do us all some good.
They first told me I didn't have to spend money on them, but I was sure
this was just a knee-jerk reaction to such an offer, because of how little
they had and how hard their mom had to work for what they did have.  After
overcoming their objections, we got into the Tahoe and drove off to the
local ice cream stand.

When we got there, the boys insisted they only wanted a small cone each,
but I wouldn't hear of it.  I told them I was going to have a banana split,
and I thought they should have one too.  They both looked at each other,
exchanging some sort of unspoken language between them, before Jared turned
back to me and said, "Okay."  I guess he spoke for both of them, at least I
didn't wait for Josh to answer too, so I ordered the same thing for all of
us.  It took a few minutes for them to be made, but when they were done, I
directed the boys to a table, where the three of us sat down to enjoy our
treats.  The brothers talked about the movie in between spoonfuls, and they
were really impressed with the idea of there being a wizard school.  As the
boys got more and more engrossed in their discussion, I informed them that
the book was even better than the movie, because the director had to leave
much of the details out, in order to keep the movie from being too long.
This seemed to ignite their curiosity, and now they wanted to know what had
been left out, but I told them they'd have to read the book and find out
for themselves.  They said they'd check the library, to see if they could
sign out the book, and I also told them they should read the other books
too.  I then informed them that I had read four of them, up to this point.
I then went on to explain that I knew they were kids' books, but I found
them interesting, and I enjoyed reading each and every one of them.

When we finished our ice cream, we got back in the SUV, but I didn't head
for home.  The boys wanted to know where we were going and why, but I
wanted it to be a surprise, so I just kept letting them ask, with no
response from me.  Finally we pulled into Wal-Mart, and they wanted to know
why we were going here, but I didn't say a word.  Instead I got out of the
Tahoe, and the boys did the same, and they followed me into the store.
Looking at Jared, I think he was a little concerned about what I might be
up to, but he soon relaxed, when he realized I was heading for the book
area.

When we got there, I picked out two copies of each of the books in the
series, and immediately the boys began to object, saying they could share
one copy.  I told them that wouldn't be necessary, as I thought they should
each have their own set, but they continued to protest.  I turned a deaf
ear to them, but they still continued to object.  After listening to this
for as long as I could, I just told them they could work it off later, if
they felt they had to, but I was getting copies for each of them.  We took
the books to the register and cashed out, but I had the cashier put each
set of books in a separate bag, so each boy could carry his own set.  We
now made our way out to the car, and they both began to thank me as soon as
we were out of the store.  I merely told them they were welcome, but I
expected them both to take the time to read all the books, now that they
each had their own set.  When we got back to my place, it was getting late,
and I suggested I could just put Jared's bike in the back, so I could drive
them home.  They agreed, though I could tell Jared wanted to stay a little
longer, but I started the engine and took them home.  When we got there, I
unloaded the bike, made sure each of them had their books, and then I said
good-bye to them.  Jared started to come over to give me a hug, but then
thought better of it, so he just shook my hand and thanked me for what he
called 'a wonderful night.'  That made Josh come over and imitate what
Jared had done, and then they both went into the house, waving at me before
they closed the door.

I drove back down the road to my place, parked my vehicle, and went inside.
The house seemed kind of quiet and deserted now, even though that was what
I had originally planned for, and even wanted.  However since I had met
Jared, all of that had changed, and now the house seemed very lonely
without him there.  I tried to put him out of my mind, as I knew I was
fixating on him far too much now, but I couldn't get that kid out of my
mind.  I was all consumed with his beauty, his friendliness, his attachment
to me, and my attraction to him.  Was I beginning to let something happen
here, something I promised myself I had to prevent?  I'd have to start
focusing on preventing the sexual attraction, though I was wondering if
that would also have to include severing the emotional and psychological
bonds we now shared.  I wasn't sure I could pull away from him completely
at this point, going cold turkey, so to speak.  I knew I had to do
something, but I wasn't sure what that would be.  I knew he meant far too
much to me at this point, to just let him go.

He was in my dreams that entire night, magically moving from one of those
nightly visions to another, but those dreams were so varied, I wasn't sure
what to think about them.  Sometimes we would just be friends, just hanging
with one another, while in another dream we wouldn't even act like we even
knew each other.  In the next vision we would be more like a father and
son, but in the one after that we would be more like lovers.  What was
happening here?  What were my dreams trying to tell me?  I know that life
and love are quite complex, but it seems I still have much to learn.  There
are many levels to a relationship, and this one could lead down any one of
a variety of avenues at this point.  However, I had no idea where it might
be heading now.  I was totally confused, even more so than if I were a kid
again.  I thought you were supposed to get smarter as an adult and be able
to understand these types of things, yet I was more at a loss about what
any of this was supposed to mean now, than if I were Jared's age.

After thinking about this for quite some time, I finally decided I would
have to choose the option where we were like father and son, but I would
also have to remember there could be no incest in this relationship.  I
would be expected to help him, guide him, be there for him when he needed
me, and do whatever I could for him, except for anything sexual.  It
sounded easy enough, but I knew it would test my willpower to the ultimate
degree.  I had to be strong, but could I?  I knew how much Jared needed a
father, but was I the right guy for the job?  And would this arrangement
now include Josh too?  Did I have to be a father to both of them, if I
chose to do that for Jared?  Did they come as a package deal?  How was I
going to find the answers to all these questions?

Before I had time to resolve my dilemma, Jared arrived, flying through my
door with the usual huge grin on his face.  "Hi, Dad.  I'm here."

"So I see.  Did you sleep well?"

"Great.  We started reading the books last night, and you were right.  The
book IS much better than the movie was.  There is much more information in
the book.  It's really neat.  I read four chapters before I fell asleep.
I'm not sure how many Josh finished, but I know he likes it too."

"Great.  I'm glad to hear that.  I figured you boys might enjoy those."

"Thanks, Dad.  That was really nice of you to do that for us, and Josh told
me to tell you that too.  He thinks you're pretty neat."

"That's nice to know.  So why didn't he come down with you today?"

"His friend was coming over, and they were going to play games."  He rolled
his eyes up in his head at that point, also making a little face in the
process, letting me know that he thought that boring, and maybe even
childish, but definitely not for him."

"Ah, I see."

"Oh, and he said he was going to let his friend borrow his books, after he
read them.  He thought his friend would like them too, if that's all right
with you."

"They are your books now, not mine, so you boys can lend them to whomever
you wish.  I just suggest you put your names in them first, so there won't
be any question later, as to whom they belong."

"Oh, yeah.  Good idea."

"Thanks, I thought it was too."  I smiled at his innocent praise.

"So what are we going to do today?" he wanted to know.

"Well, I had an easy day planned for us, since it is Saturday.  I have a
little weeding that needs to be done, like around the house, the shrubs,
and the sidewalk, but then I thought maybe we could go swimming after
that."  His face lit up.

"You mean it's ready now?"

"Yeah, I think so.  By the time we finish doing the weeding, we can change
into our bathing suits and take a dip."

"Do we have to wear our suits?"  He gave me his pleading, puppy dog look.

"Yes, we do," I informed him, with enough emphasis to it, so he wouldn't
have any doubts that I meant what I said.  "What if Josh came down later,
and caught us naked in the pool?  Don't you think that might create a
problem for us, trying to explain that away?"

"Yeah, I suppose.  Josh is pretty careful that nobody sees him naked.  He's
not like me.  I don't mind certain people seeing me without my clothes on."

"No!  Really?  I would never have guessed."  My sarcasm did not go
unnoticed, as Jared stuck his tongue out at me just then, letting me know
that he didn't appreciate my sense of humor.

"Well, you're my dad now, so why should I be embarrassed to let my dad see
me without my clothes on?"  He was trying to justify his exhibitionism
around me now.

"It's not that you should hide your body, but I think you were trying to do
more than just let me see that fantastic body of yours."

"What do you mean?" he asked me, trying to look shocked in the process.

"You know very well what I mean," I shot back.  "You were trying to get me
sexually excited, and who knows what you had in mind after that."

"Dad, I don't see anything wrong if you wanted to do things with me, kind
of like we were friends trying things with each other."

"But that's the point.  If we were about the same age, that might be fine,
but with this age difference, it's a totally different story."

"But why?  Why can't we just mess around a little?  We could jerk each
other off, or maybe try other stuff too.  Why would that be so wrong?"  He
was almost beginning to sound like a lawyer, pleading his case to the jury.

"Jared, we already covered this many times.  It's because you're underage,
and still a minor, at least in the eyes of the law."

"But that's a dumb law.  We can just ignore it."

"Okay, let's put it this way.  If we allowed people to just ignore laws,
because they thought they were dumb, wouldn't murderers choose to ignore
those laws, so they could kill whomever they wanted?  And wouldn't thieves
choose to ignore those laws, so they could get what they wanted, without
having to work for it?"

"That's not the same.  They'd be hurting someone, and this wouldn't.  We'd
be doing it because we both wanted to."  Maybe this boy was going to be a
lawyer!  Now I had to think of a better example.

"Okay, let's say you were left millions of dollars from your grandparents,
but you were only twelve.  According to your logic, if you wanted to give
that money away, you should be allowed to do so, right?  You wouldn't be
harming anybody, at that time you thought you wanted to do this, and the
other person also really wants the money, so it's a good thing, isn't it?"

"Yeah, if we both agree to do it, it should be allowed."

"So if an older person tricked you into giving him all of your money,
making you think you were doing a good thing, but later you discovered that
all he was after was your money, would that be all right too?"

"No, because he tricked me into it.  That wouldn't be fair."

"Right.  And how would you know that someone wouldn't be tricking you into
doing sexual things with them, just for their own pleasure, and not for
yours?"  He looked a little confused now.

"But, that's different," he finally responded.

"No, it isn't.  You'd have been tricked to giving something away both
times, only for the benefit of the other person, and you'd be left with
less than you started with."  He still looked confused.

"But what would I lose by doing things with somebody?"  Ah, the chink in
his logic.

"You'd be losing your innocence and maybe even your virginity."

"Wait!  I thought only girls could be virgins."

"No, being a virgin only means you haven't had sex before.  A guy can be a
virgin too, and that's something you want to save, so you can give it away
to some special person.  If you get tricked into giving it away to someone
else, that wouldn't be any different than that person stealing your money,
or anything else you own.  That's why the laws set an age, when they think
the person is mature enough to make those types of decisions, without being
tricked into it."

"But older people can be tricked too!"

"Yes, but by then it won't be because they don't have the knowledge or
experience to make that decision, just maybe not the wisdom.  A young
person may not have the knowledge to see what the other person is trying to
do, or the experience to see what is happening.  That's why the laws are
there, to protect them."

"But just because a person is older or younger, it doesn't make them any
smarter, or less likely to get fooled," he added, trying to win this
debate.

"True, but that's the only way the law can protect everyone, because how
else would you determine when a person had the ability to judge for
themselves.  By selecting an age when most people would be able to make
those types of decisions for themselves, we've protected the majority of
society from being taken advantage of."

"Okay, I see why it is done," he said, somewhat exasperated at that point,
"but who decides what age that should be?"

"Unfortunately, that has been left up to individual states and countries,
and that varies considerably."

"See, so it's not fair!" he exclaimed, thinking he had found the
information he needed to convince me he was right.

"Maybe it isn't, but we have to obey the laws where we live, or be willing
to pay the consequences."

"You mean like going to jail?"

"Yes, that and whatever other punishments the regulations set for breaking
that particular law."

"Are there places we could do things with each other, without breaking the
law?"

"Yes, there are.  In some places the age of consent is as young as 12-years
old, but it can also be as high as twenty-one."

"But why is it so different?"

"That's a good question, and it depends on what the people making the laws
think is appropriate for where they live."

"Well, I think the places that say twelve is old enough are right.  We
should just go there."

"We could, but then that might put us in violation of other laws."

"Like what?"

"They could say I was taking you to those other places for immoral
purposes, and that would break another law."

"Damn, this is complicated."  Now he looked at me, with his eyes bulging
out his head.  "Sorry," he told me.  "I hope you don't mind me saying
that."

"You mean because you used the word damn?"

"Yeah, my mom hates it when I do that."

"No, that didn't bother me, because I knew you did it while trying to
resolve a problem for yourself."

"Thanks," he added, simply.  However, I don't think he was any closer to
resolving his issues, any more than I was, but I think this exercise was
helping us both think them through.  Maybe one of us would come up with a
workable solution eventually, one that would allow us to fulfill our
fantasies, but for now, we would just have to abide by the law.

We went out and did the work, removing the weeds from all those hard to get
to areas that made the yard look bad.  Once we had finished this job, Jared
immediately mentioned that he was ready to go swimming, so we headed into
the house, to get our things and change.  I went to my room and was
rummaging through my dresser for my trunks, when in rushed Jared, carrying
his red speedo.  "I thought I'd change in here.  Okay?" he asked, giving me
one of his infamous devilish grins.

"Why didn't you just change in the bathroom?" I asked him, as he began to
get undressed.  I think I already knew the answer to my question, but I
asked it just the same.

"I just missed my dad, that's all," he said, now standing totally naked in
front of me.  He put his hands on his hips, like a parent might do when
they were exasperated and trying to make a point, but he was staring at me,
as I removed my under-garments.  I saw him grin when he saw my cock for the
first time.

Oh, I'm not huge, or anything like that, but I am adequately endowed, and
it seemed to be good enough for Jared.  I had debated about turning my back
before I stripped down, but I decided to give him his thrill, as he had
done so often for me.

"Wow, you've got a lot of hair!" he exclaimed, checking me out more
closely.

"I guess I do," I responded, "but you'll get more as you get older, and
managed to get all the way through puberty."

"What's that?"

"Puberty?" I asked, and he nodded his head.  "That's when your body goes
from that of a child, to one of an adult.  You've already started that
process, but there will be more to come."

"How can you tell I've already started?" he asked, looking confused.

"I can tell by looking at your penis," I told him frankly.  "It has grown
and is not the little boy size it was when you were younger.  And you're
also getting some hair down there," I added, pointing at the few scattered
hairs about his impressive piece of flesh.  "As you go further through
puberty, you'll get underarm, chest, and leg hair too.  That's what happens
as you become a man."

"And I can shoot that white stuff too, right?"

"Yes, and your body produces semen," I confirmed, with a smile.

"Want to see me do that?" he asked, hoping I would say 'yes'.  "I can, you
know."

"I'm sure you can, but you don't have to prove it to me."

"Please, I don't mind."

"No, let's just put our suits on and go swimming."

"Then I'll show you when we're done," he added, hopefully.

"No, Jared, that's okay.  I'll take your word for it."

"Can't I just show you?  There's no one else for me to tell.  Josh is too
young, and I can't tell my mom, so why can't I show you?"

"Find a friend, and show him."

"And have him call me a fag, or tell everyone in my class I'm gay?  No,
thank you.  I want to show my dad what I can do, and how I'm becoming a
man."  I was touched by his sincerity and his pride about what he could do,
but I knew I couldn't allow this to happen.

"Let's go swimming, and then we'll talk about this again later."  He wasn't
pleased, but he wasn't totally unhappy about my decision either.  I think
he felt there was still some hope he would get his way, though I was hoping
he'd forget about it by the time we were done swimming.  In the meantime, I
would try to think of a way to avoid him once we were out of the pool, so I
wouldn't put myself in a situation where he might remember and try to
broach the subject again.  I guess I'll just have to wait and see how my
luck held out.

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Positive emails may be sent to ErastesTouch@aol.com