PUBERTY BLUES, by Ganymede PART 1 WARNING: This story contains a graphic description of sexual acts between men and MINOR boys. I do not condone either incest or child abuse, however boy-love as described in this story is an entirely different matter. If the subject of man/boy sex offends you, if this material is illegal in your place of residence, or if you are under the legal age for such material, do not read further! You have been warned! Read at your own risk! The story is copyrighted under the pseudonym, Ganymede. A single copy has been placed in the Nifty archives. Feel free to post it to appropriate newsgroups or send it to your friends. If distributing my story for monetary gain, please contribute $50 to a charitable organization providing services for boys. The story is fiction. Any resemblance to any individual, alive or dead, is unfortunate. FINAL WARNING: If you are under the age of 18, if this material is illegal in your place of residence, or if man-boy relationships aren't your thing, then exit now and save yourself from a life of sin! PUBERTY BLUES, by Ganymede PART 1 ++++++++++++++++++++++ Sydney, August 1994 +++++++++++++++++++ My business booms when everyone else's life is in shambles. Three years ago I was working more than twelve hours a day, often for six days a week. That was during the recession, when companies failed with monotonous, but for me fortuitous regularity. However, despite the ineptitude of the Labor Party and their socialist agenda, the Australian economy had to recover eventually, and it did. Perhaps it happened because of the American recovery with no thanks to Clinton, but by the end of last year I was down to working a day or two a week and living the life of the rich and semi-retired. I was surprised, therefore, when my telephone rang at morning-tea time on Friday 13th, August 1994. I received an invitation to an emergency meeting at 2.00 p.m. sharp with Phillip Blake, a vice- president of State Bank. A twenty- page fax arrived five minutes later and I spent the rest of the morning examining it carefully. I was back at work again. The Sydney office of State Bank is in George Street, about a block from Martin Place. Shortly after lunch, I left my car in the nearest parking garage and headed off to a meeting with a man I had never met. I had heard a lot about Phillip Blake during my previous dealings with the bank. He was a 'rising star' and shared the title "vice-president" with nine other rising stars. Not out of character, I made a point of arriving exactly on time. When I arrived his secretary informed that Mr. Blake was 'down the hall' and that I was to wait in his office until he returned. Blake's office was impressive, as befitting a vice-president of one of the city's largest banks. It was impossible not to feel both overwhelmed and jealous. Not for the first time since the mysterious telephone call did I wonder what on earth Blake wanted with me. I turned away from the floor-to- ceiling window and its spectacular view of the harbor and the Sydney Opera House and ambled over to the adjacent wall to study his display of diplomas and awards. He was locally educated--Sydney Grammar School for Boys followed by the University of Sydney--typical v-p material with a master's degree in economics on top of a bachelor's in accounting. "Mr. Sayd?" I turned around instantly. "Yes? I'm Peter Sayd," I responded quickly. I moved forward guiltily, as if my inspection of his credentials was an invasion of his privacy. It helped if he thought I was nervous and off my guard. "Mr. Blake?" "Good afternoon, Mr. Sayd" the man replied as he crossed the room. His hand extended automatically and we shook. "Let's dispense with the pleasantries," I said abruptly. Shock value had its place when it changed the situation to my advantage. I turned unpleasant. "You called me in here with little or no notice. I've been waiting for ten minutes, Mr. Blake, for an appointment that was scheduled for 2.00 p.m. sharp." "I'm sorry," Blake said apologetically. "This entire week has been very stressful. I really appreciate you coming so quickly. I hope it wasn't too much of a problem for you. It couldn't wait until next week." "I had to rearrange a few things to make this meeting," I lied easily. "Call me Phil," Blake continued. He shifted from apologetic to arrogant v-p quickly. For several seconds he studied me with a banker's eye for an investment. I was casually dressed, only my lambskin leather jacket gave indication of my past successes. My attire was deliberate, expensive but relaxed, showing disdain for the formal dark grey business suits that dominated the banking and investment offices in the City. The sharp edged creases in his trousers contrasted with the out-of-the dryer jeans I wore. I returned his stare, sizing him up at the same time and comparing my observations with what I already knew about him from others. My outburst had taken him by surprise. He was on the defensive. That was one point to me, but it was poor compensation for being on his turf. There was definitely a home-ground advantage in my business. I had a good idea that his opinion of me was not what I would have liked. I didn't care, just so long as he respected me, better yet feared me. Blake was, I guessed, in his late thirties. He was also about forty or fifty pounds overweight. Beyond the expanding midriff, he was showing several visible signs of the stress associated with his job--hair thinning and pale complexion, among others. He was a candidate for an external heart massage before he reached the big 4-0. This meeting would help him along. It was time to change color again, like the chameleon, friendly. "What can I do for you, Mr. Blake?" I asked as I walked forward and away from the diplomas. Like every visitor, I was drawn towards the view from his window. It was an impressive sight but I wanted to appear distracted from the task that had brought me here. "Nice view," I commented casually. "I'd never get much work done if this was my office." "It's more a matter of what I can do for you," Blake answered. "If you're not interested in listening to my proposition, I can always find someone who is. Frankly, I'd rather work with you. I believe that you can be trusted and that you're fair, if a bit ruthless when it comes to taking action. Everything that I've heard about you confirms that opinion." "It sounds like you have a deal for me," I interrupted. Now, I wanted him on the defensive. "It isn't a good time for making deals right now," I added. "Doesn't that depend on the deal, Mr. Sayd?" "Maybe. Is there a deal?" I suggested impatiently. I stopped before the window and gazed outward. "There's a deal, if you're interested." His voice came from behind me. "Why don't we stop the preliminaries and get down to business," I said quickly as I sensed his approach. I reasoned that Blake was trying his hardest to fluster me. He was an amateur. I had pulled the same trick again and again in negotiating until I had become an expert. By the time the other side realized that they had been effectively harassed, their strategy had become unhinged. Blake was beginning to vex me. I needed to further unsettle him. It was all about control and power play and I loved it. "Why don't we sit down?" I suggested. I turned suddenly and walked to the chairs near the coffee table, taking my seat before Blake could follow. "What's the deal?" I asked as I readied myself to undertake the attack again. "Mr. Sayd, can I call you Peter?" I nodded, "The deal,... well it really depends on the resources you can put together by eight p.m. this evening," Blake hedged carefully. "If you are interested, I'd like to work with you." "Let's cut the bullshit, okay Mister Blake?" I said arrogantly. "I know you don't like me, I'm not blind and I really don't give a damn. I'm here for a reason. I've read the stuff your secretary faxed to me and I'm obviously interested. Why don't you assume I can find whatever resources are needed." Blake laughed. "They told me you were good, Mr. Sayd,... Peter,... but you're better than good. And you're absolutely right. I don't like vultures, I never did like your type very much." "It's a job, Mister Blake," I returned quickly. "Someone has to do it. When people like you screw up, they always call for someone like me to clean their shit up again. No one likes to see a business destroyed, but I learned a long time ago that some are better off that way. It's just a matter of supply and demand and bad management ruining what chances there were." We were about even on points. I waited for the next round. Jockeying for position at the start was a fact of life. Often it was a lot worse than this and negotiation took on Machiavellian manipulations. "Okay, we understand each other, I guess. I have a problem that I need fixed," Blake said calmly. "I need to have it fixed very quickly. I need you to fix it." "Give me the spiel," I said. "Beyond what was in the financial report I've already looked at." There was no longer any need to unsettle him further. I had him on the run, if only temporarily. Blake shrugged casually. "Its a long story. The bank made some loans that on reflection, it would have been wiser not to make at the time." "And now there's an audit," I said. It was impossible not to smile. "Let me guess, on,... uh,... first thing Monday, right? That sounds about right for a surprise visit from the bank inspectors," I teased. Blake nodded. "You want this mess cleaned up by the start of business on Monday, with the funds transferred, correct?" Blake nodded again. "I know you can do it. My friends tell me you're good at putting a deal together." "I do my job as best I can," I replied snidely. "So how much are we talking about here?" "The bank is in for more than a million in long-term loans. The line of credit is another three hundred thousand dollars. We're prepared to roll that over if we have an interested buyer." "Christ!" I chuckled, "That much. It must be some business they were in. How much was secured?" "They were in the clothing business. Mostly kid's clothes. They designed and manufactured them, and a few years ago they went into retailing as well. The line is called KidStuff, you might have seen their stuff around in a few department stores." "It's unlikely, I don't have kids," I interrupted. "What's the bank's exposure?" "Huh?" "Tell me about the security." "Security? Uh well,... the usual." "That's not very helpful," I said rudely. "You want to know how much its worth? Well, it depends. Finished inventory is fairly high because of the coming winter sales season and the raw materials inventory is low right now. That's because their suppliers have pulled the plug on them. There's machinery, it's mostly computer-driven stuff that's brand new or one or two years old. They were trying to bring their costs into line by reducing the labor content. Um,... and there's a factory in Gosford. They also have some stores. I think there's two or three in the malls and one is downtown on Pitt Street, I think. Those stores aren't covered by the primary loan. The machinery has a book value of a bit over one million and I'm told that the inventory is worth about six hundred thousand. And there's a few other business assets we have as collateral, computers and cars and such but its chicken feed. And then there's some general stuff. The book on all of that is a bit over two hundred thousand." I nodded. "What other creditors are out there?" Blake's eyes narrowed. I wondered how bad it was. His answer surprised me. "Only one or two with anything sizeable. They owe a bit over a hundred thou' to a fabric supplier and the Taxation Department has them down for thirty K. One the good side they have accounts receivable of seventy plus." He hesitated. The silence hung between us. "The bank is looking for a million from you." I laughed again, this time deliberately. "You have a bankrupt company with a total book value of a million-eight covering a debt of million-three, plus others. The fire-sale value of the assets may be worth a half-million. No wonder you want me to clean it up before the audit. The inspectors are going to get someone's arse for this. You're about to get well and truly reamed, Mister Blake." "That's about right," Blake smiled. He looked unhappy as well he should. It was a bad investment. "Don't look at me. It certainly wasn't my idea, and I wasn't involved in lending to them. I would have called the money in years ago if I had any say in it. Unfortunately I didn't." I ignored his excuse. He was involved, otherwise he would not be talking to be now. There was an alternative explanation--the loan decision had been made at a higher level. That seemed an unlikely proposition. "Let me get this right, Mr. Blake. You expect me to lay out over a million dollars to cover you and the unpaid taxes, correct? And what I get is a bunch of damned near-worthless assets that the bank has been stupid enough to carry on its books for the last few years." The sarcasm in my voice was much stronger than I intended and I regretted some of the words as soon as I said them. There was no point in being unnecessarily rude. It would only make him angry. I needed him unsettled to the degree that it clouded his judgement. "Sorry, but it's not much of a deal," I added seriously. "How about fifty cents on the dollar? We might be able to accept nine hundred thousand for the collateral," Blake proposed. I laughed derisively even as I wondered what the bank's bottom line was. If they had a million-three outstanding, and they were prepared to settle for a million right from the start, undoubtedly they would need to recover close to it to convince the auditors that no problem existed. "How about twenty-five cents?" I suggested lightly but with a serious expression that conveyed my true feelings. "Anyone would be a fool to pay more for a bankrupt clothing company, even if it does have a cute name like KidStuff. The inventory and fixed assets might just cover half of my risk if I'm lucky. Besides, I'd have to ship the equipment to somewhere in South East Asia to even get close to recovering what it's worth." Blake shook his head. "A half-a-million dollars won't cut it. I have firm instructions about the amount. However, Mr. Sayd,... Peter,... maybe we can look at this another way. What if,... now I'm just thinking aloud, you understand? What if you transferred some of your other assets to the bank to cover us for the million? You would have first priority at any time that you wanted to call the debt in." "Great idea! What's in it for me, besides the loss of interest, that is?" "You wouldn't actually buy anything. Your assets would be considered as a deposit in the bank. We would pay at the going interest rate. It would be a loan in a way but effectively you would buy out the bank's investment." "I'm doing it for charity then," I joked. "No! In return for your loan, you would get a one-third share of the common stock and a right to any remaining proceeds." I did not need my MBA from Harvard Business School to understand the proposition offered to me. All I needed to do was to temporarily cover the bank's loss and I would get one-third ownership of a bankrupt company, worth a grand total of at least one-point-six million dollars if all the assets that were securitized with the bank could be sold at close to book value. After the 'bank'--also known as my risk-free loan--was repaid, I would make at least one hundred thousand dollars. Not bad for a few hours work and a transfer of stock. The issue in doubt was what the company was actually worth, dead or alive. A long time ago I had learned that book value didn't mean very much. And that raised an interesting question. Real estate? It was surprising how many brilliant investors forgot to include the value of real estate. Did Kidstuff own the factory in Gosford or any of the stores? "You're digging yourself into a pile of shit, Blake," I said rudely. "I hope you boss doesn't know what you're up to. He's going to be pissed off to the max when he finds out." My vulgarity was not lost on him. "Any auditor worth his salt would pick that mess up in the first few minutes. Exactly what are you trying to accomplish, anyway?" Blake sighed and shook his head dejectedly. "God, I don't know. I'm only doing what I've been asked to do." "You signed off on the loan didn't you?" I asked. I knew the answer to my question even before I asked it and the Blake's expression confirmed it. This was becoming interesting. He had approved the loans and the line of credit because he had been asked to by one of his superiors. I glanced at my watch impatiently. "Perhaps I better talk to your boss. Who is it?" I demanded, "Franklin, or is it Burnham?" Blake shook his head dejectedly. "I work directly for Arneson. The money was lent to his sister and her friend. I signed off,... but it was his idea. He arranged everything," he added weakly. "Well! What do you know about that? Arneson!" I chuckled. "Maybe you better arrange for me to meet him, Mr. Blake. That is if you want any sort of deal at all." Blake smiled. "His office is next door," he said. He gestured to the connecting door in the wall with the diplomas. "I think he's expecting you." I started to walk away. I knew that our conversation had finished. Only Arneson could make the deal work as far as I was concerned. "He'll be there in a few minutes," Blake called out as I opened the door. "He's on his way back from an appointment." If Blake's office was impressive, Arneson's office was regally opulent. He had a large corner office, carpeted with a thick woolen berber, nineteenth-century furniture and leather-upholstered chairs. I walked forward and stood at the window for nearly a minute, taking in the grand view of Circular Quay, the bridge, and the harbour beyond, before I turned away. The door through which I had entered the room was part of a wood- panelled wall. It was a combination of dark-stained Australian cedar for the shelving, like the other furniture in the room, and mirrored glass that concealed the contents of a long row of cupboards. I stopped before it, my attention drawn to the half-dozen photographs displayed. They were photographs of a boy. He was a very attractive blond-headed boy of about thirteen or fourteen years. Arneson's son, I supposed as I continued to study the youth's elegantly defined features. He had a passionate mouth that was nicely shaped with full, dark lips and a deep cleft that connected to the underside of his nose. In one picture he was grinning and I glimpsed perfect, pure-white teeth. Several times I tried to transfer my interest to other things but each time my eyes were drawn back to him. I studied the boy with growing fascination, elevating my impression from attractive to handsome, to very handsome, to finally admit to my growing consternation, that the boy was more than exceedingly handsome. He was simply stunningly beautiful. One photograph held my attention the longest. In eight inches by ten inches the absolute essence of boyhood had been captured. He was at the side of a swimming pool and bare from the waist up. In all likelihood he was wearing a swimming costume but it was hidden by the water that sparkled around his bronzed belly. I fancied the boy as he would be when he was naked. Based upon what I already knew of him, I imagined the rest of him. I anticipated that all of his slender, tanned body would be as beautiful as his delightful smiling face. He was not far into puberty but he would have a big, healthy dick and plump, ripe balls...... "Mr. Sayd? It is you, Pete, isn't it?" I turned and stifled a laugh. Chris Arneson grinned broadly at me and held out his hand. We shook warmly. It had been only a matter of months but it seemed a lot longer since I was in Thailand. My two-week visit was unforgettable and here was the man I owed everything to. Chris was really Christian Arneson, senior vice president of State Bank! "Hi Chris," I acknowledged effusively. We shook hands warmly, neither of us speaking as we remembered the wonderful weeks, the two dark-skinned lads, and the bed that we had shared in 'boy-paradise'. Finally I looked away and my eyes were drawn straight back to the photographs. The resemblance between Arneson and the boy was strong enough to convince me that they were related. My initial guess of father and son was confirmed. For obvious reasons, I had never thought of Chris as the marrying kind. "He's a very good looking boy," I said honestly. "I guess he isn't a friend of yours?" The jealousy in my voice seemed to grate as the words came out. "I didn't know you were married and had a son." It was also a feeble attempt to excuse my distraction as I gazed at the lovely face in the photograph. My heart felt like it was beating quickly and I could feel heat building within me like a fever out of control. His eyes were blue and very large. They were innocent and at the same time they were intensely arousing. It certainly was not the first time that I had looked at a boy and felt a sudden thrill, but never before had a mere photograph produced a similar reaction in me. I did not need to glance downward to know that my penis was quickly becoming erect. I turned away slightly to conceal the rapidly expanding bulge in my trousers. "He was a doll when he was younger. Alex was a cute kid," Chris said softly. "Those photographs were taken before I became V-P. It's been fourteen years since he was skinny-dipping in my pool." I chuckled. "What can I do for you, Chris?" I asked as I continued to study the haunting images on the wall. "I guess you've already talked with Phil Blake. Is there a deal?" "Maybe!" I suggested. I started to walk towards the window. My heart was pounding. Even when I was six or seven meters from the pictures, I could think of nothing else than the boy, his image captured in early adolescence. My penis was throbbing as I thought insistently about Alexander Arneson. It was a nice name for a beautiful boy. I stopped before the window and gazed outward. "It's a good deal, Pete." His voice came from behind me. I faced the window. Strangely, the last thing I wanted was for him to see my erection. After spending two weeks together in a village in Thailand we had no secrets about our sexual inclinations. And yet, despite all that had happened, I was embarrassed. If I turned around he would have to be blind not to see my arousal and know that a picture on his wall had caused it. My superior bargaining position would collapse even if my penis did not deflate. "He was a sexy kid," Arneson said quietly. His voice was close, no more than a meter away and it came from over my left shoulder. "Alex could be a real handful at times." "Huh?" I mumbled awkwardly. The man's words were puzzling. To me, they were highly charged and pregnant with meaning. How many fathers referred to their sons as 'sexy' and then immediately informed a stranger that the boy could be a 'real handful'? "He's my nephew, my sister Hannah's kid," Chris explained as if he realized my predicament. "Alex was an unusual boy," he continued enigmatically. "Oh!" I spluttered. "We were very close," he added suggestively. "Very, very close." "He certainly is good looking," I said as I tried to calm my racing mind. His words had been chosen deliberately to arouse me. "I was very fond of him," Chris continued slyly. "We spent a lot of time together after he turned twelve. He used to have the same effect on me when I was around him." "I can imagine. He's a doll," I said with open admiration. "What did your sister think?" Arneson grinned widely. "Of course she knew all about Alexander and me. Don't you remember what I said about keeping it in the family, Pete? It gets better, but that will do for now. I don't want to bore you with the juicy details!" I stifled a shiver as the thrill of knowing the intimate details of the boy's sex life faded. I nodded. I breathed out slowly. One part of my brain was clamoring to know more about Alexander while the rest was struggling for control. I reasoned that Arneson was trying his hardest to arouse me but I also sensed that the beautiful boy was part of the reason why I was here. I did not understand the connection but there had to be one. "Give me the spiel," I said brusquely. "About the company," I added quickly to hide my interest. Arneson shrugged casually. "Its a long story. It started way back, about fifteen years ago in fact when Alex was twelve. I won't waste your time with all the dirty details right now, but I was very fond of him. I still am. He used to spend his weekends and holidays with me. When he was fifteen, about when these photos were taken, he moved in with me. We had his mother's blessing. She knew I was fucking him from the start." "Lucky you!" I quipped. "Anyway, to make a long story short, about eight years ago I loaned money to Alex' mum, my sister,... and her friend, Tricia. I guess I should say that Hannah's a lesbian. In fact that was one of the reasons why she allowed Alex to move in with me. Well, after Alex was in uni', Hannah quit her job at the Art College and they went into business together. It didn't do too well at first because of a few problems but at least it was in the black. They wanted to expand and I arranged for the bank to lend them more money. What really caused them problems was the last recession. I got them through that by lending them even more money and I've carried them ever since on a line of credit." I nodded again as I recollected why I liked Chris Arneson. Four months earlier he had dramatically changed my life. ++++++++++++++++++++++ Thailand, May 1994 ++++++++++++++++++++ My life started to change for the better somewhere between Sydney and Bangkok. It was low season and the 747 was half empty, probably not enough passengers to pay for the gas let alone the fixed cost of the aircraft. It was even worse in the first-class section. I had a full row to myself. In the row before mine there was a family. Mum, dad and two kids--a girl in her mid teens and a boy aged about twelve. For a large part of the trip I could not take my eyes of the young angel in the aisle seat--the BOY, not the girl. He had long brown hair that glistened in the subdued light on the plane. He radiated youth and vitality. I stared, unnoticed as I absorbed his every move. He was extremely attractive and poised on the threshold of puberty. He was still enough of a child to retain his high-pitched voice and puerile mannerisms, but old enough to be interesting. As the hours passed, I found him to be more than just interesting. He was, in a word, delightful. I listened, entranced by his boyish giggle, his offhand comments to his patient father, his verging-on- rudeness constant teasing of his sister about her boyfriend. When he got up to go the toilet, I gazed longingly at him. I hoped he would acknowledge my presence, or better still, invite me to go with him. He ignored me as he sauntered past without his shoes. I focused on his crotch and saw a medium- sized bulge that promised plenty but which revealed little more than bulk, and then he was gone. My head twisted to follow his small, plump bum as he disappeared down the aisle. He was gone a long while in the toilet, or perhaps he was entertaining the stewardesses with his witty charm and pretty-boy looks. He was gone more than long enough to get laid. I wondered whether he was masturbating. It was a fascinating idea and I formed mental images of him with his shorts at his ankles and his hand flying up and down his young, pink penis until he shot his load of fresh spunk on the floor. Finally he ambled back and dropped into his seat. He looked tired. I imagined the pearly droplets of his spunk spurting out from a reddened tip, then as he flushed the bowl, free-falling from 12,000 meters into the harsh desert of Western Australia. As he sat, he turned slightly and for the rest of the flight I wondered whether he actually smiled at me or if I was imagining it. All too soon we landed at Bangkok. I waited in my seat until the boy and his family stood up and I followed like a dog in heat, as close to the youngster as I could physically get without rubbing my aching groin against his firm, little behind. There was a long gap between me and the man who followed us out. He had been sitting two rows directly in front of me. They stopped to talk to the senior steward and I had no choice but to continue on, leaving my first love leaning against the bulkhead that separated the flight deck from the rest of the plane. As I passed I heard his father say 'Ben would just love to see up front' and then I was out of earshot. 'Ben',... Benny,.... 'Benji',... 'Benjamin',... a cute name for a very cute boy, I thought. No, he was a couple of years too old to be called Benji or Benny. Ben suited him. It was a simple name for an elegant boy. His was a name I would not forget for a long while. As I walked up the ramp I was aware that the man behind me was closing the gap. I glanced behind me, preparing to move over and make way for him to pass if he was in a hurry. He came up beside me and slowed down. It was the first time that I saw Chris Arneson. "Sexy little thing, wasn't he?" he said quietly. His voice was muted but it crackled with lust. I swallowed nervously. My throat was dry from too much champagne and a long flight. The Bangkok heat overwhelmed me. It was hot and humid, far worse than Townsville in the summer. "Huh? What did you say? Who?" I asked. "The boy, of course. Who else?" the man added. He smirked at me and winked knowingly. "You had a better seat than I did. I had to keep turning around to look at him. I'm sure his father was wondering what was up." "What are you talking about?" I asked glibly. "Because I have no fucking idea what you're going on about, mate." But I could feel my heart pounding and my body seemed to tremble despite my attempts to stop it. Every muscle was responding to the surge of adrenaline that coursed through my arteries. We reached the end of the ramp. He turned towards me and shrugged as if it had all been a mistake. "Sorry, I thought I recognized you," he said. "I must be mistaken." "You are," I said flatly. "I've never seen you before!" "Okay, I'm sorry then. I just thought we had something in common, that's all!" He started to walk away, not going faster than I was but taking a diverging path. His words hung in my mind, bouncing back and forth until they were clamoring loudly. My response was totally unexpected and surprised me. "Hey," I called out loudly. He turned and stopped and looked at me for several seconds. "Yeah?" "You're right!" I said ambiguously. "About what?" I walked up to him. I hesitated and then threw caution to the winds. I didn't know the man from Adam, I'd never meet him again, there was nothing to lose. "About the boy. He's very sexy," I answered. He was at least ten years older than I was but he exuded a youthfulness that was disconcerting to me. He smiled smugly. "I can always spot a like soul," he said. "It only takes one look at a boy like him to know exactly what you're thinking." I smiled back at him. "And what kind of a look is that?" I asked softly. "Lust! Pure unadulterated boy-lust. You looked like you wanted to rape him right there in front of his parents. Personally, I couldn't blame you, but somehow I don't think they would be too keen on little-Ben getting a big one up his behind." I grinned shamelessly, excited by the man's crude talk about the boy I had been hungering after from the time I took my seat in Sydney. I was also fascinated by the fact that the stranger had also managed to learn the boy's name. "Do you think he's gay?" I asked stupidly. Hopefully. Curiously. "Gay? God who knows! A lot of the boys attending Kings School are, that's for sure. Little Benny just might be one of them. I certainly hope so. He's got an awfully cute bum. It's really going to be wasted if he likes girls." I smiled again. I was fascinated by the man's openness. He had no inhibitions. He was also very observant. I had noticed Ben's school socks too and thought that I was particularly observant at the time. "He was giving his sister hell about her boyfriend," I added hopefully and opened the door to the terminal building. "Well just about every boy does that. It doesn't prove anything, but we can only hope." The man stopped and held out his right hand expectantly. "I'm Chris," he said. We shook formally, I introduced myself by first name, and we started to walk again. The immigration desk was still a hundred meters away. Other people from the 747 were beginning to straggle up the corridor behind us. "And even if he was gay, he isn't the type to do anything more than prick- tease you." Chris chuckled. "I've seen his kind before. He'll lead you on, maybe even let you feel his tool, but when it comes to the interesting stuff, he'll up and run." "You sound very certain," I said. "He looked like a nice kid." "That's my point. The nice ones don't do it. And even if Benny was into big dicks, do you really think his parents would tolerate anything like that. You're better off with one of the runaways up at Kings Cross. You might have to pay for it but at least you usually get what you want." I nodded. My thoughts were running wild. The man walking beside me seemed to have answers for all of my questions. The desire that I had known since my early teens seemed to grow more powerful every second that I walked beside him. There was a chance, it suddenly seemed, that I could find an outlet for my unnatural inclinations. I thought of the boys who I had been attracted to-- the sun-bleached blonds, the young surfer-boys I watched at Bondi Beach, to the pre-teens shopping with their parents, to the lonely nights that I had spent by myself, wondering if my dreams could ever become real as I masturbated feverishly. "The chance of finding a kid who's attracted to older guys is about zero," Chris continued to explain. "Young poofs are out there, of course. It stands to reason because they grow up to be gay men. The trouble is finding one at the age you're interested in. And then, once he's interested and likes you enough to get involved, you're halfway home. What you really need is access." "Huh?" "The young ones need time to work up to getting laid. You have to court them, otherwise they'll run screaming 'rape' to mummy and daddy and you'll find yourself in deep shit. Once you're a good friend, getting his pants off is relatively easy. I think that's why a lot of men get involved in scouts or youth clubs, things like that. It's still difficult to meet the right boy but at least you have opportunity to get to the next stage." "Why is still difficult?" I asked ignorantly. "I mean if the kid's interested?" I stooped and picked up my black-leather suitcase from the conveyor. I waited for a minute until Chris' bags appeared. He seemed to ignore my last question until he straightened up and his attention was no longer diverted by watching the bags slide past as he looked for his own. "Sooner or later, you have to face up to the fact that his parents will kill you if they discover you've been fucking junior. Even if he is willing they don't like the idea of a man screwing his arse." I smiled. "I guess that's pretty normal behavior for parents." "Too bad for men like us!" Chris chuckled. "It's a hell of lot easier when his mum or dad knows what's going down. Maybe up would be more descriptive. And if they're amenable to it, wow! But that's a one-in-a-million chance." "Oh," I said. "I guess you hit the boy-jackpot then, huh? I expect that would be a once in a lifetime opportunity. With his parents on side, you get to fuck the hell out of him, then?" Chris smirked knowingly. "Something like that, Peter. There are a few boys like that out there. Most boys aren't into it. Sucking cocks is one thing but the taking a man in through the back door is something else. Getting into a young bum is quite a challenge, believe me. Don't get me wrong, they're around but the trouble is finding them. It's usually family members who get the benefits in those situations." "It sounds like you are speaking from experience," I observed. Chris ignored my statement but there was something in his facial expression that said otherwise. A faint smile appeared at the corners of his mouth and his eyes seemed to flicker as if replaying some long-ago memory. "I'm here for all of two weeks. How long are you here for?" I asked. "Three weeks. This is my annual vacation in boy-paradise. I'm staying just long enough to fall in love again and then get my heart broken when I leave." He studied me for several seconds. "What are you here for, business or pleasure?" "Pleasure meaning,... boys?" I ascertained awkwardly. "That's the only kind worth having, at least in my opinion. Thai boys are born to fuck, I think. Even the little ones get off on it and the best thing is, no one seems to care very much. It certainly isn't like the Philippines. Boy has that place changed since they threw Marcos out and the new order took over." I nodded as I absorbed the new information. It was one facet of Thailand that the travel agents did a poor job of communicating. I would have come years ago instead of going to the U.S., Tahiti, or New Zealand. If only I had known. "How can you,... uh,... tell if a boy's,... uh,... interested?" I asked hesitantly. Chris stopped and regarded me quietly. The immigration desk was less than ten meters away. He was silent as he thought. "The question in Thailand is, are you interested in boys?" he asked secretively. I nodded slightly. "I might be,... no I would be,... for a boy like Ben," I answered. "Good for you, Peter! I'd jump on him in flash as well. He's a pretty one, all right. He's the stuff dreams are made of. And it would be a dream. His old man's a barrister and you know that means trouble right from the start. He's a senior partner in one of the biggest law firms in Sydney. Ben isn't the type of boy you want. Even if he was interested and you were able to get him excited, you'd never get his pants down long enough to get it inside him. But, take my word for it, a Thai boy will do anything you want. And I do mean anything." I shrugged as my hopes were dashed. As quickly as Ben had entered my life, he had departed. However, he left a void that needed to be filled more than ever before in my life. My desire had been escalated to the degree of longing. For the last few years I had dreamed of meeting a boy who was willing and able to respond to my lust. It had turned into an all-consuming hunger. "What hotel are you staying at?" I asked naively. "I'm not! The hotel boys are way too old, even for an old pervert like you." Chris chided. "And the street boys either have the 'clap' or worse. You could try one of the gay brothels downtown but the cops watch them closely after all the stink in the States about sex-vacations in South-East Asia. I would say you have a fifty-fifty chance of being arrested. You probably won't spend any time in jail, but they do report incidents to the Australian consulate. I know that for a fact." "I wasn't planning on staying in Bangkok," I said as we started to walk again. "I was going down to Phuket." "Even if you go down to Phuket, it's a waste of time," Chris replied. He started to move forward towards the immigration desk. "The boys will go down on you all right for twenty bucks but anything else costs a fortune." He was almost beside the immigration officer when he finally turned back and handed over his passport. My mind was is turmoil. Boys, boys, boys! It was all that I could think about. And then it was my turn. My passport was stamped and Chris was waiting on the other side. He grinned at me and raised his eyebrows as I came. "See, no problem at all. I was here three years ago and a copper found me on the beach doing it with a naked boy. He was a ten-year-old, what you might call real jail-bait back home in Sydney. I spent all of one night in jail before I got out. The judge could have fined me, maybe even given me a few months in a cell but instead he suggested I give three thousand baht, that's about a hundred dollars, to the boy's family. Of course they didn't press charges and never intended to, but my record still comes up in their computer every time I walk through Customs. They don't give a damn. I get a warning to behave myself, that's all." "Thailand sounds like my kind of place," I joked. "Like I said, Peter, it's boy-paradise here. Thai boys are born to fuck. The trick is not paying an arm and a leg at the hotels or down at the beach, and staying out of trouble." I followed him out to the arrivals area. Hundreds of people milled around. There were a few Thais, but mostly, white and Japanese tourists. There were also many Chinese or Indian people working the counters, giving directions, or otherwise impeding the flow of pedestrian traffic. Chris glanced around him with an experienced eye. "I'm still confused," I said. "If not Bangkok or Phuket, then where?" He shrugged as he looked back at me. "I go for a drive into the hills north- east of here. It's easy to find boys at many of the villages, especially as you get closer to Cambodia. I can guarantee that any boy you're interested in will never want more than ten dollars a day, and then his parents will throw in their bedroom so you can be comfortable while you fuck the insides out of their son. I know of one village where you're treated like part of the family. They'll even serve your meals." "What's the catch?" I asked with disbelief. "If they're poor enough, a boy's arse is usually their only asset. Of course his parents hope you'll like him enough to take care of him. It's a pity they can't be adopted, or exported back home. Mostly they're really cute kids and in fairly good shape, though they are a bit on the skinny side sometimes. I haven't met one who wasn't great in bed. Even the virgins are good at it." Chris turned to me. "If you're interested, there's a passenger seat in the car," he offered graciously. "Are you sure? I don't imagine you'd want someone tagging along for a trip like that," I asked uncertainly. "Au contraire. It gets a bit lonely with no one to talk to for two or three weeks. Most of the boys don't have more than a few words of English." He smiled. "And then its only the essential words like 'fuck me harder'. I think you'll have a lot of fun if you tag along as you put it." I agreed, of course. We rented a car from the airport, put our bags in the back, and headed off into the sweltering heat that was Thailand. Chris knew where to go without using the map supplied by the car-rental place. He drove through the outskirts of Bangkok before taking a busy road off to the north. With each kilometer, the traffic thinned and the countryside became more lush. It was tropical, with patches of dense jungle interspersed with lots of carefully tended farms. As the road climbed steadily upward into the hills, the farms became fewer and the jungle ever denser. A little less than two hours after the plane landed I saw my first elephant. By then the road had become little more than a single lane. There was no turning back, indeed there were no signs marking the direction from which we had come or the places to which the road was going. I sat back in the sticky vinyl seat and watched the trees go past. We passed through a lot of villages but not the one that Chris was looking for. With each new village a horde of kids came out to watch us. His observation was correct. Thai boys were very good looking. Their features were less Asiatic than most people in the region. Their coloring was dark, bronzed-hued skin, black straight hair. Most of them wore only shorts, occasionally tee shirts, seldom shoes. They radiated sex at least to my untrained eye and vivid imagination. We drove until mid-afternoon. The terrain had become increasingly rugged as we approached Cambodia. Ahead lay the famed Golden Triangle, although the amount of opium had decreased significantly in the last few years. As we continued, road became ever more pock-marked and was almost impassable in places. Trees overhung the road so that it seemed we were often driving in a tunnel, many of them towering high above. These were teak trees, with the expensive wood prized by boatbuilders for its durability but no longer cut as world pressure focused on preserving the rainforest and eliminating drugs. Only a decade earlier elephants had dragged logs from the forest while aircraft carried bags of raw chemicals from the poppy fields to the processing plants near the coast. In one valley we passed a disused saw-mill, its two meter diameter saw-blade no longer sharp enough to cut. There was a huge diesel engine rusting under a skelton structure whose roof had been stripped of corrugated metals by local villagers. As the car slowed I saw that parts of the engine had been pilfered by a spare parts dealer, leaving gaping holes where there had once been mechanical parts. An intact generator was attached to a concrete base, no longer able to serve its function without the diesel. "Kind of sad, isn't it? Convenient for us, though," Chris said as he slowed the car. "It used to provide jobs for the village. Now the boys work instead of the men," he added. "There's a lot more money in letting your son sleep with men like us than working in a saw-mill." "The economic facts of life! The interaction of supply and demand," I mused. "Teak one day and selling your son's bum the next." "Something like that," Chris answered. "Both are what you might call nature's bounty." I laughed. "Only teak lasts longer. With a boy-bum you only a have few years before it gets too old." A few minutes Chris finally stopped the car. I was covered in a sheen of perspiration as well as being uncomfortably itchy. "Okay, this is it!" Chris laughed. "Time to go find you a boy, Peter." I gazed around as we stepped from the car. From what I could see, this village was no different to the dozens we had passed through earlier. There were several huts close to the road, one with a sign that proclaimed the name of the village and 'POST OFFICE' in both Thai and English. Beside it was an excuse for a general store. A verandah of sorts extended out from an equally dilapidated roof of corrugated metal. A naked baby girl sauntered beside a scruffy dog, kicking red dust between her toes as her grandmother supervised from the darkness inside the store. The old woman raised her hand to acknowledge our presence. "I hope Udon is still here." Chris waved to the woman absently as he closed the door behind him. "This place hasn't changed a bit since I was here last. God, he was sexy a year ago. He's probably about fourteen by now, but age isn't all that important with a Thai boy. Not like your friend, Ben. Give him a few years and he'll have pimples all over him and hair from head to toe. You'd barely be able to find his dick among the fuzz except for the fact that he'll have one about the same size as a horse. There's a lot to be said for malnutrition and south-east Asian genes--not much body hair and small dicks!" "Udon?" I said. "It sounds like you have a boyfriend all ready to go to bed," I added. "I had better. I've been sending his family a hundred dollars a month ever since the cops caught me with my cock up his lovely little arse." "He was the boy on the beach?" I asked. Chris nodded. "His father took him down to Phuket just after his tenth birthday. It's not that uncommon in this part of the country. They appreciate a boy's charms, at least the charms that make him a boy, shall we say." He glanced around him as if to get his bearings. "Udon's house used to be over here," he said as he pointed towards the group of houses closest to the river. He started to walk." Anyway the trip to Phuket was only for one reason and that was to get the boy laid. His father fully intended for him to get fucked by a tourist. He was very open about it and I was more than happy to oblige at the time. Of course I didn't plan on becoming quite as attached to the little rascal as I ended up doing. He was absolutely incredible at ten, but you should have seen him last year. He had just started to cum. Not much mind you, but enough to taste. I sucked him dry every chance I got and it still wasn't enough for Udon. He used to wake me up and night for more.The little poofter couldn't get my cock in him often enough, at either end. I got my money's worth, the whole year in just the first few days." "It sounds like a good investment," I grumped tiredly. Chris laughed. "So how do you like your boys, Pete? Young or old, perhaps I should say wet or dry? The little ones are prettier but there's something nice about it when a boy can spunk for you. For some men, boys with sperm can be a real turn off. You can take your pick in boy-paradise. Just one word of advice." What's that?" I interrupted. "Pick one and settle down fast with him. Their parents don't like you trying them out and then moving on to someone else's kid. It's bad for the boy's self-esteem," he laughed, "But it's also considered both bad manners and bad business." "You're the expert on boys. What do you recommend?" I asked sarcastically. Chris smirked. "That's easy. I'd go for a boy who's close to starting puberty, just like your friend, Benny. They're hot to try everything out. Alternatively I'd go for a boy who's just into puberty. That way you get a slightly bigger dick to suck, they really get a kick out of it when they come for you, and they stay horny afterwards. However, its mostly a matter of personal taste. If I was in your shoes, Peter, my favorite would have to be Udon's brother, Phan. He's a real doll, much cuter than Udon and two or three years younger. He's probably real close to puberty by now. Besides, his parents are used to the idea of a man fucking him because of Udon and me." "He sounds too good to be true," I laughed. "He is good," Chris added. "If it wasn't for his brother, I'd get him in bed by tonight. In fact, I'm pretty certain his dad expects me to do the deed this trip. He was talking about taking the kid down to Phuket while I was here this time. It was a hint to me, needless to say, but it'll happen sooner or later if you're not interested in him." "I'm interested, I guess," I replied with much commitment. "Do I have a choice?" "There's another boy, Udon's cousin, uh,... Luc. He's younger, only about nine or ten, but if you want a boy who's on the small side and hasn't been touched yet, he'd be a good choice. If you're lucky Phan may still be a virgin, in fact I'd be surprised if he wasn't one. Not many tourists get this far away from Bangkok and none of the locals can pay the price. And then there's the twins, but you'd have to like them very young. They're only six, I think. But as I've said, Thai boys are sexy, even at that age. Of course, you'd have to be careful if you went the whole with them. A boy that young is easily hurt if you aren't patient with him." "What's the price for Phan?" I asked suspiciously. "Nothing for you. That's not because you're my friend, it's how they do business. You won't have to pay a penny unless you really like him,... enough to want him to wait for you to come back. If he doesn't get a man in Phuket this year he'll probably go down to one of the brothels in Bangkok. I feel sorry for him, but there isn't much I can do about it. Even if I paid for Phan, there are lots of others just like him." Chris sighed loudly and then, added. "They'd all be better off with men like us. Most of them have a terrible life in the brothels. Some men abuse them horribly. Udon told me about one of the boys from a village just up the road. The poor little bugger had his balls crushed last year when he was taken to work in Bangkok." "God! How did that happen?" "The brothel owners do it, the miserable bastards, so that the boys don't mature sexually. And then his bum was mangled by some Jap-fuckin'- businessman who lost control with a dildo. Udon's grandfather told me it happens fairly often around the brothels, but it's usually done when the kid doesn't perform. They practically destroy the kid's sphincter and rectum with a real whopper." The boy who came running up and leaped into Chris' arms was remarkably attractive and very agile. He was slender, weighing no more than forty kilos, but his arms and legs were wiry and the long muscles were visibly expressed under the dark, satin-smooth skin. His arms locked around the man's shoulders and he nuzzled him with obvious affection. I watched jealously as Chris hugged him back and squeezed his buttocks playfully through the thin blue nylon of his shorts. Chris kissed him first on the forehead, then the bridge of his broad nose, then on his dark, full lips. The kiss was returned eagerly. If this was Udon, and his brother was even more attractive, I was enthusiastic. Their kiss seemed to go on and on forever. I could see the boy's mouth moving, sucking air as he breathed. He panted in quick gasps. His cheeks hollowed from the vacuum. Occasionally his pink tongue would push out between their lips, smearing saliva that lubricated, before returning to Chris' mouth. I became impatient after nearly a minute had passed. People, men, women, and children were watching both them and me. One old man was grinning and nodding his head with aroused interest. I was soon to discover that he was the boy's grandfather, a pederast, and the village chief. They parted as Udon's father approached but they still stood close together. Like lovers, they shared continual sideways glances and their hands were linked to openly display the bond between them. What I witnessed was almost impossible to believe at the time. Chris shook the man's hand. His face was covered with the wetness of the boy's saliva. His trousers had a huge bulge in the crotch and there was a corresponding and considerably smaller bump, albeit better defined as the short length of a very rigid penis, in the front of Udon's shorts. Udon's father seemed as pleased with his son's open display of affection as the old man standing beside him. I was introduced and it was immediately apparent to me that I was considered as a likely suitor for his second son, Udon's younger brother, the boy who Chris called a 'real doll'. But there was no sign of Phan. I studied every face we passed on the way to their house hoping for a glimpse of a beautiful young boy who bore some of Udon's features. It was an amusing troupe that made its way through the agglomeration of houses, fenced-in yards, and accumulated junk that passed for a village in central Thailand. Two white men, one still holding the hand of a very handsome youth, and two Thai men who chattered away. Udon acted as interpreter, selecting what he considered to be worth repeating to Chris. However, interpreter was only one of his roles. His other roles clearly elicited more respect from the people we passed. Even the women and girls seemed to acknowledge his prestige as he flaunted his relationship by dancing around Chris exuberantly. Behind us, three young boys struggled with our baggage. We crossed over the river and entered the family compound. The signs of wealth were immediately visible, or perhaps I should say audible. A boom- box boomed '80's rock loudly from one of the three huts. Then I saw the refrigerator. It was a new appliance despite the fact it was standing on the bare ground and its door was wide open. I correctly assumed that there was no electricity in the village. It had been purchased for status alone and was a direct reward of Chris' generosity to Udon and his family. The hut we stopped before was about eight feet off the ground. It was, unlike the other two huts nearby, relatively new and in good condition. The wooden framework was dark teak, discarded from the lumber mill we had passed earlier on the road. The roof was thatched with thick bundles of straw. The hut had a primitive elegance that was more interesting that the artificial rip-offs to be found in the resorts of Phuket. Udon's mother appeared at the top of the ladder. She smiled widely as she recognized Chris. I remembered what he had said in the airport about the chances of meeting a boy whose parents were 'amenable' to his having a relationship with a grown man. Now it seemed that my own inexperienced remarks had been an accurate assessment of the benefits that could accrue under such a condition. I watched with interest as Udon scampered up the ladder. Chris followed. He stopped at the top, leaned forward and kissed her. She giggled like a teenager and said something as she playfully swatted him on the shoulder and glanced at her eldest son. Udon was smirking. Even the two men standing next to me laughed. I wondered what the joke was. "She said that I should save my kisses for Udon," Chris explained jocularly. "It seems he's been driving every one mad the last few days while he waited for me. It's nice to be appreciated," he added. Then in front of the boy's parents and grandfather, he reached out and grasped the boy's still rampart penis through his shorts. "How sweet it is to love a horny boy like this one," he laughed. I waited for the angry outburst from either or both of the two men, or from his mother, but there was none. Even as Chris' hand lingered, fondly rubbing the boy's sex organs under his shorts, there was no negative reaction except from the boy himself. Udon blushed and after nearly a minute, as Chris' fingers started to worm their way under the loose leg of his shorts, he giggled and pushed the hand away. It was not an angry push, merely a gentle sign that he wanted to stop for the present. At nearly fourteen years, he was old enough to discharge his semen if excited sufficiently, and more than old enough for inhibitions in front of his mother. By then, we had all climbed the steps, I had been introduced to the woman, and we had kissed. It was a chaste, family kiss that was very different to the display of passion that continued beside me. I glanced around the hut, hoping to see a sign of the second oldest son. I heard the foreign chatter of the parents and the old man and instinctively realized that I was the object of discussion. I was examined, much as they would examine a pig or cow but with considerably more appreciation such as might be reserved for an elephant. Had it not been rude, I am certain that they would have asked me to undress so they could inspect all of me. For that report they would have to wait for Phan's experience. Even though I had been sitting almost non-stop for more than fifteen hours, I was still grateful when we sat on the low stools. The trip had been tiring. A long distance by plane, then the grueling four hour drive from Bangkok. Minutes passed, then a half-hour, then a full hour and still no sign of the boy they intended to be my lover. Two younger boys, adorable twins no older than six, had been promptly dispatched to find him almost as soon as we arrived. While we waited Udon's father served tea, using cracked cups that were yellowed with the accumulation of stain. It was a ritual, establishing relationships between family and visitors. He served Chris first-- a single cup that he shared with the handsome boy beside him, then the grandfather, then me, then himself. So much for the supposed adulation of the Thai for elderly. The boy's mother departed in order to prepare for the evening meal. The heat of the afternoon began to intensify. When it seemed that it could become no hotter, hot waves of air flowed through the open walls of the hut. At least we were in the shade. Sweat trickled down my brow and my shirt and trousers clung to my body with a wet film. Slowly I began to think that coming with Chris was a terrible mistake. By now I would be in Phuket, resting in an air-conditioned room, with the fresh sea breeze blowing across the beautiful craggy islands of the sound. The heat did not seem to bother Chris. He was perspiring as much as I was and he shared his body heat with the lithe teenage boy beside him. Sometimes it seemed as if Udon would crawl over him and they would copulate in front of us. They kissed and hugged and fondled each other openly, continually attracting what sounded to me like words of encouragement from the two men, and several times when she was in the hut, from Udon's mother. I was not disinterested when I finally stood up and made my way down the ladder. I was merely very jealous. I had watched enviously as Chris' hand slowly inched its way under the wide leg opening, pushed the loose cloth away and settled over the boy's still prominent bulge. I had watched Udon smile shyly, acknowledge his father's nod, and part his legs so that the hand had unfettered access to his groin. I watched Chris' hand enclose, caress, tickle, and finally begin to masturbate the nearly naked youngster next to him. I had watched the boy become hotter, wriggling and twisting as his arousal began to peak. I had watched a dollar- sized dark spot appear on the bright-blue nylon of his shorts as he liberally leaked pre-cum, a surprising amount in one so young and from a penis that was still relatively small. He twitched, gasped, and shuddered. I had watched as his eyes clamped tightly shut and his body arched. The muscles in his slender legs became firmer as he strained. His moan of ecstasy shocked me. The wet patch in the front of his thin nylon shorts expanded instantly. It rapidly grew bigger as he ejaculated his bountiful juice until it was finished. The boy relaxed, his young body's strength spent in a stain the size of a saucer. His orgasm was enchanting, a captivating crescendo as his young body fell back exhausted. He smiled beguilingly at Chris as his penis continued to throb. There was nothing but smiles from the other two men. In my case it made me feel lonelier than I had ever been. When it seemed it could get no worse, Udon lifted his slender hips upward and Chris expertly pulled his semen-soaked shorts off. Without a word, Chris inspected the product of his young lover's body. He lifted the shorts to his nose and inhaled deeply, then turning them inside out, examined the copious fluid that now adhered to the nylon. There was no doubt that Udon's body had matured considerably beyond the stage visibly indicated by the size of his penis and his physical stature. The abundant seminal fluid was thick and white, like a man's. But unlike the after effects of a man's orgasm, the boy's penis did not deflate. It remained still half-erect, still wanting more pleasure despite the fact that it had just climaxed, despite the glistening beads of sweat that covered Udon's body. Chris silently grinned at me as he pulled the now-naked boy against him. Any inhibition that Udon had earlier had been lost as his body had been drained before his father and grandfather. His shorts, the front covered with his emission, lay on the floor, a testimony to his maturity and sexual prowess. He straddled Chris, kissing loudly as I reached the ladder. The last thing I saw was Chris arms locking behind the boy in a powerful embrace. I heard him call out when I was halfway down. "Hey Peter, try going up river. Udon thinks that Phan's probably at the waterfall by now." I ambled across the courtyard. I was uncertain of everything that I had observed. Udon's sexual release had occurred not only with the acceptance of the boy's family, but with their strong encouragement. What is more, the boy had thrilled to Chris' touch, had given himself willingly, had shown no sign of shame or guilt. He had been intent only on deriving the maximum enjoyment from being with the man he desired. By the time I reached the river I still could not believe all that I had seen and heard. Several women and girls were washing clothes at the bank. They smiled shyly. The girls, like frightened virgins, hid their faces but their eyes followed me as I continued along the narrow earthen path beside the river. They held no interest for me. The heat, like my own desire for boys, had not dissipated, but had grown more intense as the day progressed. The jungle became thicker, and although the shade afforded some protection as I walked, the humidity was unbearable. I had been walking for nearly twenty minutes when I reached a branch in the path. There was still no sign of a waterfall. One way led back towards the river, the other seemed to disappear into the huge ferns and boulders, that sprouted among enormous trees. Now tired of my fruitless search for a boy who did not want to be found, I started down the trail towards the river. I had not gone more than twenty meters when I heard high-pitched giggles and turned to see the twin boys scampering down the other path. They saw me, stopped, pointed up the path they had just came from, giggled as they made rude gestures, and ran off at full speed. I immediately changed my mind and decided to take the other path. It took another five minutes of climbing over rotten tree trunks and boulders before I finally reached the end. The path terminated at a waterfall. The water cascaded down the rocky gorge, tumbling from one ledge to the next until it appeared as a bridal veil. From the last ledge the water dropped four meters into a deep, dark pool. I stopped and stared. The child swimming in the water was naked. I assumed its sex to be male, if only from the short, black hair. His body was slender and golden-brown except for a paler band at his buttocks. He swam languidly, his body abandoned to the sensation of cool water. I longed to join him but I continued to gaze silently upon him. As if he knew I was watching, he rolled onto his back. My assumption was confirmed. His crotch was as pale as his bottom, though both places were darker than my own suntanned arms. I stared at the delightful child, bewitched by his beauty. I was oblivious to the fact that his eyes seemed to look directly into mine and recognize the feelings that existed within me. Without any uncertainty, I knew this was Phan. He was everything that Chris had said and more, much more. He reached the shallow side furthest away from the waterfall and came to his feet. Slowly he waded forward and for the first time I observed the perfection of his young body. My eyes focused naturally on his genitals, a task made more difficult by the fact that his small hand reached down and enclosed his penis between his thin fingers. Like his older brother, he had not been circumcised. Similarly, with his small penis and testicles, he would never be well-endowed, certainly not by European standards and probably not in comparison with Asian men. When it seemed as if I could hold no more of him in my memory, I stepped forward from behind the boulder that had sheltered me from his sight. Instinctively both of his hands dropped to cover his groin protectively. "Hi, Phan," I said softly. "Don't be afraid." He trembled, knowing who I was just as I recognized him. No words passed between us as we gazed at each other. This was the boy who I yearned for. It was as if we existed to meet and provide for the other's pleasure. ++++++++++++++++++++ Sydney, August 1994 +++++++++++++++++++++ Chris Arneson's voice brought me back to the reality of his office in State Bank, Sydney. "I want this mess cleaned up before Monday's audit. That means that the funds must be transferred this afternoon," he said carefully. "You could say that time is of the essence." I nodded. "I can do it by then. I can put the deal together in a few hours if the price is right." "It's not a simple matter," Chris interjected. "It's not a bankruptcy fire sale, you understand. I don't want my sister to lose everything she's worked so hard for. If you buy the assets I want you to keep the company going." "Jesus! I'm a vulture, Chris. At least that's what the jerk next door thinks I am." "A vulture will kill the company off by next week and she'll get sweet fuck all out of it. I don't want that. After Thailand, I think that I can count on you as a good friend. I trust you to take this on under the condition that you try to save the company,... and if not, then you do the right thing by her. The company is all she has." "This isn't Thailand, Chris," I reminded him. "We are friends when it comes to boys, but business is business. We both know that there isn't room for friends when money is concerned." "Then you are a vulture," Chris said angrily. "I might be a vulture but right now that's all you've got," I said arrogantly. "How much is the company worth is the only question I'm interested in. To lay out this much money I need to know how much can I get out of it. Right now I don't care that you and I spent two weeks fucking a couple of Thai boys. To be honest with you, I'm not particularly interested in a minority partnership with a couple of dumb lesbians, no offense to your sister and her friend, who wanted to make kiddies' clothing. That's just the way it is." Arneson smiled and his eyes narrowed suspiciously. For a moment I thought I had gone too far but my doubts were unfounded. "What if I could increase your ownership share, say to,... well to fifty percent. I own a third of the company now which I'm prepared to give up to make this work. Maybe I could convince them to give up some of their own stock to make the deal fly." "My loan would be collateralized," I asked casually. "I think I'd need more security than what's out there already. For that much money I'm going to want everything locked in to cover my money. Besides, it would have to be fifty-one percent. I don't want to spend the rest of my life in court fighting with them." Now it was becoming a more interesting proposition although it was still a long way from happening. Perhaps it was time to pull the plug on the whole idea and walk out now. I stood up abruptly, a clear indication that the negotiation had been terminated. "Peter,...?" Chris Arneson implored. I could hear the desperation in his voice. "I have things to do," I replied. "I have plans to get away for some fishing up at Forster for the weekend. I really must be on my way." "We are really alike in some ways and I don't just mean because we both like boys," Arneson said quietly as he tried to control his anxiety. "How is that?" I asked. I glanced around the vast office. Despite the accoutrements of power I had little respect for him in this setting. Like most bankers he had grown fat and lazy. It was a lot easier to invest someone else's money than your own. If the bank didn't make a profit, they merely paid lower dividends and continued to make high salaries. We were a long way from Thailand, from Phan and Udon, and the bedroom we had shared for two weeks. "You're a hard man to negotiate with, Peter," Arneson said flippantly. "You don't listen very well for one thing." I shrugged, readying myself to place my ace. "I listen when I have to, Chris. I know I owe you a lot for Phan but as I told you then, I keep my business and pleasure separated." "It's not a bad deal I'm offering you, Peter. Half of the company and collateral of nearly two million dollars, in return for what, a risk-free loan of a million at the market rate." "Did you really fuck your nephew every weekend?" I asked obscenely. Chris snorted as he laughed. He played along. "Every weekend, from the time he turned twelve until he went off to uni. His mum would drop him off here at the bank on Friday afternoon and I would return him on Sunday night. He used to spend his holidays with me as well. I nearly wore his arse out sometimes." "You're lucky," I said invidiously. "He was a beautiful boy. He puts Phan to shame. In fact he's still movie-star quality." Chris smiled. "The photos really don't do him justice. Alex was fifteen when they were taken but he was a late maturer so he looks a lot younger than he is. He didn't start puberty until he was nearly fifteen. His first wet one came just in time. I was beginning to worry about him. I loved him for six wonderful years. No boy, not even Udon, has been the same to me." "What's he do now?" I asked. "He's a pediatrician. He's been living with the same guy he met while he was at uni. He's a nice guy, a minister believe it or not. He runs the gay church, you know the one in Kings Cross next to the park.." "I think so. Even after spending six years with you it sounds like you didn't screw him up too much." "He was a great kid and he's very happy," Chris stated. He breathed out slowly. "I owe him and his mum a great deal. Unlike you, I don't separate business and pleasure, at least not when it comes to Alex." I shrugged, not fully understanding his reference. Is it a deal?" he asked. "Do you sign on or not?" "It may be. I will take it off your books. All of it, the one million three in return for sixty percent of the company and market rate plus one for my loan," I said casually. "I want to see the factory and stores first. I also want to meet your sister and her lesbian friend, especially if you want me to try to save the company. I'll need to know if I can work with them. If it all checks out, it's a deal. Now, if you could throw in Alex at say twelve years old, I would sign right now." It was just after 2.30 p.m. when I left State Bank and walked back to the building where I had left my car. Every time I thought about Chris Arneson I could not help but smile. In Thailand I had only known his first name and, from the several hints he had given during the two weeks we were together, I had guessed correctly that he was involved in investment banking. However, his appearance was still very surprising. After my return from Thailand I believed that one day I would surely run into him again, if not at a bank, then up at Kings Cross, or on the beach, or anywhere young boys were to be found. It was turning out to be a pleasant day. The earlier threat of rain had disappeared and the sun was shining. The air was clear, so clear that I could see the hazy Blue Mountains in the distance, some forty miles to the west. I treated myself to a convertible, collapsing the roof on the XJS before I pulled out of the parking garage. My first stop would be at a mall near Hornsby for a quick look at one of the Kidstuff stores and then on to Gosford to see the factory and meet the two lesbians. While Chris had spoken highly of both of them, I still had misgivings. My second thoughts were not about their sexual orientation--God only knows my own inclinations towards young boys were unnatural enough--but about their abilities to run a business. I was apprehensive to say the least. I headed out the city, opening the throttle in a hectic dash across the Sydney Harbour Bridge as I weaved from lane to lane. More than one car beeped its horn at me angrily but I was feeling good. The thrill of the 'chase' always elevated my spirits. I left the Pacific Highway at the Gosford turnoff. Despite the fact that the town had been growing quickly in recent years, the main road had been changed very little in three decades. It did not seem much different to when I travelled it with my parents to their holiday house at The Entrance. As I drove, memories from my boyhood returned. In my mind's eye I could picture myself with the gangly awkwardness of late childhood intermingled with the discoveries of young adolescence. The years seemed to rush by, my once- strong memories already fading into dim glimpses of the past. There were a few times that I recollected with such vivid awareness of myself as a boy. I could remember, for example, my first wet orgasm. Back then the boys called it 'spunk' just as they still do today. It was a a flexible word, a noun to describe semen, a verb to describe the act of producing fluid by masturbation, and at the appropriate times, 'spunk' could even be an adverb or adjective. Boys and spunk went hand-in-hand, so to speak. That my first spunk was so easily recalled was not astonishing to me. It had been an awe-inspiring event in my life and one that naturally continued to have an effect on me from then on. At twelve years old I was bewildered and barely able to appreciate the consequences of being masturbated to orgasm by my scout master, Eric Hanley. My sixteen-year-old brother, Martin, and his friend watched and became silent witnesses as I lay spread-eagled on the couch of my parent's holiday house. My suntanned legs were wide apart as I submitted eagerly to the adult hand that enclosed my penis. I had come there with a vague acceptance that I would do this. It was an integral part of the scouting motto, 'Be Prepared'. I was not frightened at the time--uncertain would be a better description of my initial insecurity and hesitancy. Eric's gentle touch was a source of incredible and previously unknown sensations. It was wonderful and strange. I remembered breathing faster and faster as his experienced hand moved relentlessly. My throbbing penis was so stiff that it seemed to ache with the pressure that built up inside me. The feelings became stronger and better until I could no longer stand it. My pleasure was unimaginable but the milky climax that spurted over the experienced hand of a man a moment later left me stunned. It was part of growing up, just as my brother had done with Eric when he was the same age. Afterwards, when dinner was finished and the things were put away, I went into my parent's bedroom with Eric. If I had been uncertain earlier, now I was self-assured but a little apprehensive because of the privacy afforded by a closed door. But my fearless confidence was quickly shaken as I discovered what Eric wanted. And yet, as he acquainted me with his penis, I remained enthusiastic and very eager to try what he offered. My ardor faded fast when the moment of truth arrived. Sheer size difference alone should have been enough to argue for caution and patience. I fought back by clenching my anus. Despite my reluctance, he endeavored to encourage me and for more than twenty very-painful minutes he tried to put his penis in my bottom before he finally acknowledged defeat. He left me sore and very distressed, with little more than a third of his penis forced into my weakened and blood- streaked rectum. Perhaps if he had been more patient, or if I had not been the proud, cocky, self-assured boy that I was, the outcome would have been different. As soon as I felt better I got dressed and went to join Martin and his friend in the living room. I never told them what happened in the bedroom but they suspected why Eric left early. My arse hurt for the rest of the weekend but I masturbated again at least six or seven times. My parents never pursued the question of why I dropped out of the scout troop and merely accepted my explanation that I wasn't all that interested. My Jaguar is not a sports car, at least not in the sense of a Porsche or Lotus, but it does handle superbly. What it lacks in suspension and transmission sophistication it more than compensates for with its massive V-12 engine. I powered around the corners using the full torque band. The road twisted back and forth, making every bend a hairpin turn at nearly one hundred kilometers an hour. After little more than fifteen minutes, the yellow sandstone cliffs disappeared, the road straightened, and I was on the outskirts of Gosford. The pungent smell of Eucalyptus faded quickly as trees gave way to suburban houses. It was not difficult to find the factory from Chris' instructions. I parked in the visitor's space and entered the building. From the outside it was an innocuous, modern design. As I waited in the front foyer I tried to guess the value of the building but denied such information as its size, I turned my attention to other things. There was a display of the current clothing lines produced by Kidstuff. Suddenly, it was easy to see why they had gone bankrupt. The clothes were 'cute' but 'sensible' in a middle-class, professional way. Bright colors, usually primaries, were mixed together in an androgynous style that denied a child's sexuality as well as his or her physical form. All of the styles were loose fitting and made of durable materials that could be passed from one child to a sibling. The clothes had to be handed down, they were too expensive not to be. I supposed that there was a market for the type of clothing, only it was not a very large market. Both of the lesbians came out to meet me. Hannah Arneson looked a lot like her older brother, a fact that explained the similarity between her son, Alex, and his uncle. She was in her early fifties and very attractive. Her Swedish accent seemed very strong compared to her brother's, which had been diluted to a clipped smoothness that did not betray his Nordic origin. The other woman was remarkably beautiful. Tricia Gordon had eyes as blue as the bluest sky and like her lover, was blond. Together they made an elegant and exceedingly attractive pair. Luckily, my interests were elsewhere. During the drive from Sydney I had convinced myself that the deal was not worth taking on. There was a lot of risk for a comparatively small payoff, even with the bank's support of my investment. Now, faced by the two women who had brought their business to bankruptcy, I was not so certain. They seemed confident of their abilities as they made honest assessments of why the business had not succeeded. Asian imports was high on the list of reasons but beyond that, they talked of their own failures. Some of their problems could be directly attributed to the fact that they were lesbians. Australian men went out of their way to avoid dealing with the company. Their sexuality was a major problem for the buyers who worked for the big department stores. I was fascinated by the close rapport they had with employees, by the high level of technology, by the many processes that stressed productivity. The company should have succeeded. As they talked and guided me through the factory I began to wonder how much Chris had told them about me. Nothing was said explicitly but I was perturbed by their quizzical expressions. It was as if they knew a lot more about me than they were letting on. Throughout the twenty minute tour I was agitated. Even though they appeared to have few inhibitions, I wondered whether Hannah, or her friend for that matter, knew of her brother's annual trips to 'boy-paradise' in Thailand and that he had met me there on his last visit. I for one, had not told anyone else. And then I considered Chris' claim that he had been his nephew's lover with the full support of his mother, Hannah. Under other circumstances I would have doubted his veracity but after two weeks in Thailand I was not so confident. I had personal knowledge that a boy's parents would actively encourage their son's homosexual relationship. The proposition was no so farfetched that it could be discounted. I was distracted. Constantly my thoughts drifted to questions of family relationships and to the delightful boy who had been the center of Chris' life for 'six wonderful years'. At five o'clock, as the factory shut down for the day, Hannah led me back to her office. Her partner had disappeared some time earlier. I sat back in her couch, sipped some stale coffee and followed up on the dozen questions that still remained unanswered. Her responses increased my resolve to buy the company. All of the clothes were designed by Hannah and Tricia. They also managed the manufacturing despite their limited expertise with production and distribution. Finally, they had become involved in retailing when they discovered that it was impossible to find 'some one in marketing with half a brain'. Hannah's cynicism matched my own in that regard. During one of the breaks in the conversation I glanced at her desk. She was a neat person. The characteristic articles and equipment of a business person were carefully laid out in regulation position. There was even the standard-issue small photograph on the desk. From three meters away it was all that I could do to make out the picture of a boy. Like the photographs in Chris Arneson's office, that single image grabbed my attention and held it captive. Or at least I was captivated by the young boy captured by the photographer. From a distance he looked not unlike Alex, only much younger. Finally I decided that it was a photograph of Alexander Arneson taken when he was about ten years old. There seemed no other explanation and indeed, it was the explanation that I preferred. He was a beautiful boy at fifteen but at ten years old, even the word 'beautiful' failed to convey his sublime looks. At ten, his hair was longer and much lighter in color. If he was in the sunshine instead of a photographer's studio, his hair would have sparkled with silver and gold highlights. There were other differences between the boy who I now gazed at with unnerving frequency and the boy whose image was etched into my mind. For one thing the younger boy's nose was slightly upturned, his lips were fuller, and his face seemed more oval-shaped. I wondered whether those features could change over a period of five years. I doubted it. They had to be brothers, I decided. In my opinion, the younger boy was also more beautiful but only a fine line separated them and it was as much a matter or personal taste than anything else. Without a word, Hannah stood up, walked to her desk, and returned with the silver frame and the photograph that had so consumed my attention that I was beginning to appear rude. She held it out, smiling as she offered it to me for my inspection. I blushed, wondering again how much she knew about me. It seemed unlikely that Chris Arneson had told her about me. However, I reasoned that he could have easily called while I was driving up from Sydney. "That's Tag. He's Tricia's boy," she explained. "His real name is Tristan Alexander,... Gordon, like his mum." She hesitated for a moment and left the last sentence hanging in the air. It was as if I was supposed to glean something of importance from the boy's name but for the life of me I could not determine what it was. "We've called him Tag since he was a baby," she added finally. "For the family, it stuck with him. He's not keen on anyone else using it." "Uh,... well he's a very nice looking kid," I replied with emphasis. It was a gross understatement for the precious face with its delicate mouth and fine features. Then added by way of explanation for my interest, I added, "He looks a lot like Alex,... from the photos in Chris' office." Hannah smiled and nodded. "They are a lot alike, but then I suppose that's to be expected," she added obliquely. "He's just turned eleven, in fact only last week. Tag is the reason why Tricia had to go home. She always leaves early to pick Tristan up from his school." I shrugged and pretended to be disinterested. His name rang loudly in my mind. Tristan Alexander Gordon! If ever there was a name for a homosexual, that had to be it. And yet it was also a nice name. It was a name that fired my imagination. It was a name that seemed ideally suited to the outrageously pretty boy I knew only from a single small photograph. "Tell me about the new lines," I asked as I placed the picture on the table before me so that it faced towards me. "We have a new style for the Christmas season as well as our regular lines. Actually Tricia designed it around Tag. He was the model for the brochure as well." She passed me a black leather folder from the table. I opened it and felt my heart leap. Tristan Gordon was stunning. His exquisite face beamed at the camera. His long, curling, blond hair cascaded over his forehead. His eyes were sublime, his mouth petulantly shy, his lips slightly apart to reveal perfect small white teeth. The summer clothes he wore were pleasing but they did little to accentuate his splendid body. The boy was posed elegantly. He was relaxed and casual. One arm was braced against a wall, his legs crossed, his slender body gracefully at ease. He was a natural model. As I turned the pages of the portfolio it was all that I could do not to sigh aloud. The effect of the images on me was startling. Strangely I did not feel sexually aroused. Instead, I longed to meet the resplendent boy. I wanted to hold his hand. I wanted to be his companion, to become his best friend, to play with him, and when he trusted me to share his secrets I wanted to be there with him. I was in love with an eleven-year-old boy I had never met. The clothes he wore were eye-appealing with their vibrant colors but in my mind they did nothing for him. His perfectly proportioned body was concealed under loose cloth that became bulky and folded in the parts where anatomical form was most important. While the clothes preserved his youth, they also denied his sexuality. It was a pity that his mother had not selected Spandex as the material to adorn her son's beautiful young body. I admired the line, building Hannah's self esteem as I gazed at the image of perfection. She appreciated my compliments and agreed with my final comment that the clothes looked good on such a beautiful boy. Our meeting finished shortly afterwards and I walked with Hannah back to my car in the parking lot. "Your car is a nice shade of blue," she said admiringly. "What do they call it?" "Indigo, I think." I replied. "The grey leather is a bitch to keep clean, though. They should have used something darker so it doesn't show the dirt." With interest, she leaned over the side and looked down into the low blue-grey leather seats. "Tag would like this a lot." She looked at me. "You'll have to take him for a ride one day. If you buy the company, that is." I grinned. The pressure was off. There was nothing I wanted to do more at that moment than take Tristan Alexander Gordon for a ride in my XJS. Actually, there were a few other things I could think of that I also wanted to do with him, but they could wait a while longer, at least until we were better acquainted. It was an appealing idea. "Its a deal, Hannah. I'm going back to Sydney now to get the funds transferred and sign the papers." I opened the door and slid into the seat. With the engine started, I gave it a few seconds to warm up. "It was a pleasure meeting you Hannah, I mean that. I'm really looking forward to working with you," I said happily. "Say so to Tricia for me,... and say hi to Tristan," I added as I started to reverse. She smiled back at me and waved as I pulled away. As I drove through Gosford, Tristan Gordon was never out of my mind for more than a few seconds it seemed. He was all that I could think of. Finally I left the town behind and with it, my persistent thoughts about the exceedingly beautiful boy. The late afternoon sun was unusually warm and I drove in heavy traffic at a reduced speed all the way back to the freeway. I sweated. My thought shifted, away from the long line of cars to the rugged landscape of Thailand and a hot afternoon that I would never forget. I had sweated profusely then as well but it had not bothered me at the time.