Date: Thu, 30 Aug 2012 16:03:46 -0700 From: Mark James Subject: Reminiscences 1 by Mark James Reminiscences 1 by Mark James We were all in our 70's and as old men are wont to do we got together to talk about the way in had been for us-the way it used to be. I guess the thing that set us off was the realization that almost everybody who fought in the Second World War was dead. We all grew up in the 40's. Most of the world was at war when we were just tykes. Most of our fathers were in Europe or the Pacific during the formative years of our life, ages 1-5. In 1945 when we were just starting grammar school the U.S. Population was around 140,000,000. Today it is 312,000,000. 50% of the country lived in rural areas. There were no freeways and the road networks were so bad that frequently you couldn't get to where you wanted to go from wherever you were. Families might have a car but generally individuals within a family didn't. Radios were the only method of mass communication. Only the rich could afford to fly. In the 1950 we used to go out to the airport to watch the plane come in and we wondered if we would ever be able to fly anywhere. If you made $10,000 a year you were one of the highest paid people in the country if not the world. Most of our families got their first TV set in the early 1950's. Needless to say the country was very conservative. Hellfire and damnation religion held sway over much of the country and laws reflected it. Divorce was almost impossible to get. Adultery was a crime and so was sodomy, oral sex and any other type of sex which not heterosexual. Actually only the missionary position in sexual relations between men and women was legal in many jurisdictions. Of course we didn't know that. Sex was not discussed by anybody except for being damned by preachers from their pulpits. The day of the TV evangelist had not arrived yet. Itinerant and usually totally ignorant preachers roamed the country holding religious revivals. Conforming was the name of the game if you wanted to survive in society and keep your job or your freedom. Hotels had house detectives that enforced sex laws in the hotel. Unmarried men and women were not allowed in the same room without a chaperone. There weren't any motels. They didn't come along until the freeways were built. Unmarried men used to live in boarding houses or rented rooms in private homes. Apartment buildings that rented to single men also banned women visitors in most cases. If you were gay like we were, you were walking in a minefield and didn't know it. Nobody talked about homosexuality so with whom could it be discussed. We learned we had to hide in plain sight. God knows how many gays got married because they had to. There were homosexuals all over the place and they devised the hanky code to identify not only their orientation but the particular likes and dislikes. But none of this mattered to us guys as we reached puberty and found we were oriented on men and not women. But we learned early to keep our mouths shut in more ways than one. Nobody wanted the dreaded word "queer" applied to them even if they were. Suicide is the leading cause of death among gay male, lesbian, bisexual and transsexual youth. The root of the problem of gay youth suicide is a society that discriminates against and stigmatizes homosexuals while failing to recognize that a substantial number of its youth has a gay or lesbian orientation. 65 percent of homosexual/bisexual youth compared to 19 percent of heterosexual youth reported ever being suicidal, and that gay youth had a rate of suicide nearly 3.5 times greater than other youth. Of the 1,300,000 runaways every year how many have been disowned by their family for being gay. Being disowned was a greater risk in the 1940's and 1950's than now. Phil said, "I had a neighbor who committed suicide. I was 13 and I had already told my parents I was gay. They had questioned why I was not interested in girls. I told them I was interested in boys. They weren't thrilled about it, but my father took me to the library and we researched what there was about homosexuality. We decided that it just was and seemed to crop up in 10-20 % of the population. They said they really didn't care about my sexual orientation, that I was their son and they loved me. My neighbor also told his parents that he was gay. His father exploded, called him a fucking queer and various other names. He said no son of his was going to be a fucking queer. His father took him into the bedroom and said if you are queer, suck my dick. He didn't have any interest in his father but his father insisted and ended up orally raping him, then he disowned him and threw him out of the house with just the clothes on his back with the admonition not to come back. He ended up at my house. My father calmed him down and had him write down what his father had done to him. He stayed with us that night. In the morning after his parents went to work he went back to his house and shot himself with his father's shotgun in his father's bedroom. When the police talked to my father he gave them the write up that Greg had written. His father was arrested for statutory rape and incest. His wife corroborated the written note and he ended up in jail, sentenced to 40 years. He only lasted 3 years before somebody killed him in jail by castrating him." Women didn't work, they stayed home. Most people had black maids. This was still the era of racial discrimination and blacks frequently made their living serving whites. Many families had an older relative living with them. Most guys had brothers and sisters. They generally lived in very small houses, maybe 1200 square feet by today's standards with one bathroom for 4 or 6 people. People in places like New York City might live in apartments whose only bathroom was a communal one serving all of the apartments at the end of a hall. Generally any sound you made in such a house would be heard all over the house. Privacy was unknown to most of us. In the summer all of the windows were open and everybody could hear what their neighbors were doing. In the winter everybody was all dressed up standing on the heater vents trying to say warm There was no sex education. Sex was never discussed by anybody. There was the father son talk, but it was generally a joke. By the time a father got up enough nerve to have it, the child involved had already figured it all out but such talks didn't discuss homosexuality. The only pornography available was heterosexual Popeye flip books that circulated through grammar and high schools. It was in this context that we had to come to terms with our sexuality or to put it crudely to find some cock to suck without being discovered to be a queer. Jim said, "My first experience was with my neighbor's son when I was 13. Pete was a hunk. He was a mesomorph with a hard body and well defined muscles even at the age of 12. I was an endomorph with a soft round body. Every time he went outside without his shirt off I was at a window to watch. I had had an experience with him when I was 9. We were playing in the creek and he got wet. He took off his Levis and shorts and stood there naked. I guess I stared." He said, "Put your mouth around my dick." I went over to him and did just that. I didn't suck him. I just put my mouth around him and withdrew. He threw away his shorts because they were wet and we went home. There was hardly anything sexual about it, except I always got a hard on when I was around him from then on. Four years later I knew I was queer, but other than wanting to put Pete's cock in my mouth I didn't really know what it was all about. I was scared of getting caught if I did anything overtly so I just jacked off a lot. It was summer and Pete, dressed in just his shorts was washing his father's car parked on the street. I was the only one at home and I had been watching him through the window. He got in the car in the drivers seat and apparently just sat there. I went out to see what he was doing. As I walked over to his house I was Mrs. Burns coming down the sidewalk. When I walked over to his car and looked in the window I saw he was masturbating. I said, "You better stop that Mrs. Burns is coming down the street." He put his cock away, got out of the car and said, "Come on, let's go in the house and get a coke." We went in the living room and he went to the kitchen to get us drinks. I stretched out on the carpet on the floor and shut my eyes. I couldn't get the picture of Pete working his dick in the car out of my mind and my hard on was making a bulge in my shorts. Suddenly my arms were pinned to the floor and Pete was naked sitting on my chest with his hard cock pressing against my mouth. "Suck me." I didn't even think about it, I just opened my mouth and sucked on his cock. I sucked on it for about 5 minutes. I don't know if I was any good as a cocksucker because that was my first time. But at that point Pete rolled off of me on to the floor, lay on his back and jacked himself off. I sat up on the floor and Pete went to the bathroom and cleaned up. As he came back in the room there was a knock on the door and his friend Tommy walked in. Both Pete and Tommy were what my mother called white trash and I really didn't want to get involved in whatever they were up too, so I got up and left. I went home and jacked off. I was scared to death that Pete was telling Tommy that I had sucked his dick and that the word would get around school that I was a queer. But nobody ever said anything so I guess Pete kept quiet about what happened. That was really my first sexual and homosexual experience, if you don't count jacking off. That is one of my fixations. I love for somebody to straddle my chest and make me suck their cock or better yet have a guy face fuck me. My other fixation is car sex and I can trace that back to my teen years also, but that's another story. I also have never gotten over Pete. He is my type and I prefer that body type over any other normally." Sam said, "My first sexual experience took place in a motel laundry room when I was 14. One night it was 10 o'clock when I got around to the laundry. When I got there, there were 2 18 +guys there doing their laundry, so I told them I would come back later. When I came back later I saw the 2 much older guys having sex. One guy was on his knees sucking the other guys cock. God this was a masturbatory dream come true I thought as I watched them do at it from the doorway. My cock was as hard as a rock and took it out of my pants and started jacking it as I walked in the door to get a better view of the action. They were both stark naked except for the one getting sucked who still had on a black t-shirt. I cleared my throat and one of them said, "Well look what we have here. Do you want to suck our cock's boy? They both stood up and were side to side. I just slid to my knees and sucked one cock while I jacked the other. I went down on it as far as I could and almost got it all. "Hey watch the teeth." So I kept my attention on the top half of the cock just sucking up and down The other guy pulled my hand toward his cock and said, "Suck me." So I sucked him for a while then I alternated back and forth. This was fun I thought. This is what had been missing from my life. I worked his cock exclusively. It wasn't long before he started to face fuck me. Of course I didn't know what it was called at the time. The other guy climbed up and sat down on the dryer behind us as I sucked his friend. He pulled away and started jacking his dick. I turned to the guy behind me and sucked his cock for a while until he shot off in my face. He got off of the dryer and I lay across it as the other guy shot his load on my mouth. I'd never tasted cum before. Of course I had never sucked cock before either. I stood and started jacking off. I figured that they would leave since they had come, but they didn't. They dropped down to their knees and stroked and kissed my body as I jacked my cock. Then the guy in the black t-shirt starting sucking me. "Oh God, that's so great." He did what I wasn't experienced enough to do. He went down on me and deep throated me. There were no problems with teeth when he did it. Then he turned me over to his buddy and he also deep throated me. In and back all the way down and I knew I was gonna shoot I shot on his face and he was right there with his mouth licking off the cum. Then they were both there licking my cock clean We went our separate ways and I never saw them again, but I haunted laundry rooms from then on and had a lot of good sex there." Jim said, "Yeah the problem was not only finding someone to have sex with that wouldn't tell but finding a place and time. As you have said there was no privacy, and parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, friends and neighbors always knew where you were and what you were doing. We were too young for cars, and couldn't stay out at night even if there was somewhere to go or somebody to go with. When I was a sophomore in high school, I worked in the school library instead of having a study hall. Frequently I worked in a large room stacked with books behind the librarian's desk. There was another guy there also who was a senior. Frequently we worked alone because the librarian was always going to meetings. He wasn't bad looking and I had fantasies about sucking his cock but I would never have made the first move especially during school. Yeah, yeah, I know you know where this is going. Every story we tell is about sucking cock or getting sucked so it is not hard to know where every story is headed. We were shelving books in the back of the room out of sight of anyone else when I felt his arms slide around me and grope my cock. I was shocked because he initiated the action and with me. I had never thought about him being queer or that anybody would want to suck my cock. But he obviously did. I got an instant erection. I didn't react and yell `what the fuck are you doing' or anything like that, I just stood there. "Can I suck your dick," he asked. I nodded my head in assent. He unzipped my pants and pulled out my 5.5 inch fully erect cock and stroked it. He said, "That's nice." He hugged me and I could feel his hard cock pressing against my butt. He turned me around, got on his knees and sucked on my cock. Nobody had ever sucked on my cock before, and I loved what he was doing with his mouth. But I didn't come. I don't know if it was because it was my first time having my cock sucked or the location, but he sucked on me for 30 minutes without me coming. He stopped when we heard the librarian come back and I put my cock back in my pants. "Shit, that was great man, Thanks." I just nodded my head and went back to restocking books and he moved off across the room. You know you hear a lot today about getting fucked, but in those days I don't think the thought ever came up. I know I didn't think about fucking somebody or have somebody fuck me. If anybody had asked I would have said "You've got to be kidding, that would hurt if I were being fucked and why would I want to put my cock up somebody's shitty hole." The same thing could be said for rimming also. We got out first shower in 1953, before that all there were only baths. The word enema wasn't even in my vocabulary. People normally took baths at night and shit in the morning, so almost all guys had a dirty asshole for the entire day. It was hard enough finding a place to suck a cock much less the space needed to fuck somebody. And there weren't any condoms available. The only place a kid could get a condom was from a machine in the restroom of a filling station outside of the city. No cars, no condoms, unless you get an older guy to buy them for you. But to continue my story, I had stumbled onto a perpetual cock sucking machine. We weren't alone in the storage room all that much but about every third day Henry was on his knees sucking on my cock. He never got me off. I would always have to find a restroom or wait till I got home to jack off. He never asked me to suck his cock. I really wanted to, but I didn't want to show that I was as queer as he was. God, if I had only knew then what I know now, I would have sucked him as many times as I could. One day after school was out I was in a school restroom taking a leak before I went home and Henry came in. As soon as I finished peeing he was on his knees sucking on my cock. That was too dangerous, anybody could walk in. I went to one of the open stalls and stood and he got on his knees and sucked me again. He almost had me off and somebody walked in, He immediately got up, walked to the sink, washed his hands and walked out the door. I returned to the toilet and, after the other guy left, I jacked off." Phil said, "The first time I had my cock sucked was at a church summer camp when I was 13. I already knew I liked boys rather than girls, but had never taken the first step with anybody. Most of the camp counselors were not more than 16 and I had a crush on most of them. I thought I was pretty secretive about it, but I guess I was as secretive as a red light on a squad car. One day Steve, one of the counselors asked me to help him move some furniture in one of the offices. We were barely inside the door when he had his cock out and said, I know you have wanted to suck on this, now is your chance." My cock was as hard as a rock and made a big bulge in my shorts, but I said, "I don't know what you are talking about," "Jesus, Phil, you can't keep your eyes off of my crotch and look at that bulge in your shorts. You are really going to stand there and tell me you don't want to suck my cock." "I don't know what I want. I've never sucked a cock before. I don't know how even if I wanted too." "Well fuck man, let me show you." He pulled up the front my t-shirt and hung it behind my neck, dropped to his knees, pulled my shorts and briefs down and went down on my cock as his fingers played with my balls. I had never felt anything as great as that in my life. It beat jacking off by a mile. I didn't know what to do so I just stood there stroking his hair with my hand while he gave me a blow job. I guess the first time is different because it took him 15 minutes to get me off and when I shot off I thought it was the most wonderful thing that had ever happened to me. He wouldn't let me pull out of his mouth when I came and swallowed all of my cum. He had been jacking off all the while and came on the floor at about the same time I shot off in his mouth. "Oh Jesus Christ, Steve I loved that. Is that what I have wanted to do with you?' "Yeah, with me and 90% of the other counselors in camp. So that night I ended up in the woods with Steve and 2 other counselors and practiced sucking cock for a couple of hours. Ever since then I have preferred sex in the woods and with multiple partners. You are right about anal sex though-nobody was interested, but they would take all of the blowjobs they could get."