Date: Sun, 6 Nov 2005 16:14:35 -0800 (PST) From: snwdemon@yahoo.com Subject: Playing the Game Chapter 5 {(M/b-consensual sex), (b/b-no sex), (M/F-no sex)} WARNING: This story contains descriptions of sexual acts involving MINOR boys. I wish to explain that this story is not true! Further, it is not intended to promote illegal acts against minors, but to demonstrate that young boys can love each other even when adults believe that they are too young. The sexual acts described in the story are the result of my imagination. I have not performed these acts, and I do not encourage others to perform them with minors. If the subject of boy/boy or homosexual love between minors offends you, or this material is illegal to possess in your place of residence, or if you are under the legal age to possess such material, do not read further! By downloading this story: You implicitly declare and affirm under penalties of perjury that you are not a minor or in the company of a minor and are entitled to have access to material intended for mature, responsible members of society capable of making decisions about the content of documents they wish to read ." The story is copyrighted under my pseudonym, Snwdemon. A copy has been placed in these archives for your enjoyment. The story cannot be used to derive monetary gain. However, if you want to place a copy of this story in your free access archives please email me for my permission. The story cannot be placed in archives that require payment for access, or printed and distributed in any form that requires payment either directly or indirectly. Any similarity to individuals, living, or dead, is partially accidental. Reference is also made in context to locations, businesses, characters, and people to define the story line. No other implication about the true sexuality or actions of the people, or places mentioned is intended. Author's note: Hello again, well I've almost completed the character aging and tying the new story to the old. It should be done in the next chapter. It will cover Rodie's recovery as well as span the remaining year and a half. I have decided to pick up the story on Mark's 17th birthday instead of his 18th as originally planned. This will put Rodie's age at 12 and a half and Eric's at 11, almost 12. There is only a 4-month difference in age between Rodie and Eric. So when Eric turns 12 on September 12th, Rodie will only be 12 and 4 months old since his birthday is on May 15th. Also, Mark's birthday is on January 23rd, with a 4-year and 4-month difference between him and Rodie. These dates are important because all of the birthdates will be used in the future chapters of the story, Cathy's birthday is August 12th, John's is November 17th, Eddie's is October 31st(Halloween, sorry couldn't help it), Jim's is December 12th, Marco's is March 10th, and Brutis's is February 4th. As for ages of the others as of the date of the start of this chapter, Jim is 41, Eddie is also 41, John is 52, Marco is 25, Cathy is 35, and Brutis is 14 in Dawg years, or 2 in our years. In chapter 6, I will introduce one scene about child sexual abuse, as well as Rodie's reaction and response. Just so you know, he is not the victim this time. To be completely honest with you, it has nothing to do with Rodie other than coincidentally, but I am using it to introduce something that will be used later on in the story. So, I am giving everyone who does not like stories that contains Non-Consensual sex or abuse, then skip the chapter ok. Other than that, I don't plan on taking up any more space because this chapter is the longest to date. I would like to keep those of you who are concerned about my son Simon's cancer up to date. First off, I want to thank all of you again for your prayers and get well wishes that have been sent to us so far. All of your responses have been appreciated and are heartfelt. Not just by myself, but by my son Simon too. He had a little trouble understanding at first why so many people we've never met were sending him kind, and reassuring emails for him to get well or to let us know that they were including him in their prayers for a speedy remission. However, now he fully understands that most people are not self centered and selfish, but are like myself with compassion, kindness, and empathy for others. He now keeps a list of names of all the people who have sent their get well wishes and included him in their prayers. Now when he says his prayers at night, he thanks everyone on his list and asks God to bless all of you. He calls his list his "Guardian Angels" list, and all of you are just that, his guardian angels. While it may not seem like much, all of your emails have helped him to remain strong in his faith that we will win and beat his cancer, and your emails brightens his bad days and restores his hopes for the future. It shows him that there are many kind, and wonderful people in the world who are reaching out to comfort him, even though they have never met him. I tell him it is because he is in need, and that people like us always tries to help those who are in need no matter who they are. So, to everyone who is a member of his "Guardian Angels" list, Simon sends his love and thanks to all of you. Thanks again to everyone who has responded to my stories, and to all of you on Simon's list, you have my heartfelt thanks for making my son's life a little happier. God Bless my friends. Damion Playing the game: Rodie's story cont. Thanks to my son Eric for proofing this chapter. Chapter 5: Rodie's choice Rodie woke with everyone around his bed, and he could hear the soft whooshing of the respirator next to the bed. He looked over at his mother on his right and could just make out the metal side of the halo brace. He then shifted his gaze around the room, and he could see everyone he loved surrounding his bed. This included Nell, Grandma Lillian, Dennis and Chiari with the twins, and Mikki was here too. This was strange because they were all back in Nags Head, while Mikki and the others were in Georgia. He tried to move and could not, then he tried to speak and discovered he could not do that either. He reached out with his mind and realized he couldn't sense any of them. This caused him to panic, and the monitoring machines started beeping their alarms. His mother and the others finally noticed that he was awake. "He is awake, and all of this must be frightening to him." His mother said to Jim. Jim leaned over and looked at him for a moment before returning his attention back to Cathy. "Yes, he is awake, do you want to tell him, or should I?" He asked her in an unconcerned voice. "Well crap! We were planning on going to get the boys fitted for their tuxedoes this morning. The wedding is only 10 days away. Why couldn't he wait until after the wedding to wake up again. Well it's done now so I will deal with it, I will do it, and I am his mother after all. It is my responsibility to care for him until I can find a suitable facility to put him in, then I can get on with my life. John and I will just have to postpone the wedding until I can do that is all. I'm sorry boys, but once I take care of this, then we can be a real family again" She said as she hugged Mark and Eric while they smiled happily at her completely oblivious of him. Rodie could not believe her cold and uncaring attitude towards him. It was as if he was not even her son anymore, and he felt as if someone were cutting his heart out. Realizing that he no longer mattered to her, or to any of them there, he began to cry silently. "Now look what you have done, I told you to wait until he was in better condition before you told him. Just go, and I will tell him everything." Jim said to her as he noticed Rodie's tears. He sat down next to him on the bed and brushed his tears away. "It's ok Rodie, I'm here now...Rodie..." "Rodie...Rodie...wake up...come now, my love...you are having a bad dream...it's me Jim, so wake up...I'm here now, and you are safe...everything is ok...it's just a bad dream." Jim said as he gently picked up Rodie and hugged him to his chest while being careful of his neck that was in a C-collar brace. He had woke from his light sleep when he heard Rodie cry out, and he thought at first that he was in pain. However, as he sat down on the bed next to him, he could see Rodie's tears streaming down the sides of his face as his small body jerked and spasmed while he dreamed. After pulling him into his lap, Jim brushed his sweat-soaked, damp hair out of his face and kissed his forehead just as Rodie's eyes opened wide with fear. Rodie cried out softly again while he continued to struggle with his terror as he became aware of Jim and his surroundings. They were alone in the room, and Jim held him in his lap with Rodie's legs extended out to one side. Now, driven by his fear, Rodie's body responded to his need as he pulled his legs in, and turned in Jim's lap embracing him with his arms and legs tightly. He was breathing so hard, almost to the point of hyperventilating, and he looked into Jim's eyes for a moment before burying his face into Jim's chest and neck. His first racking sobs were rough and ragged as Jim's soothing voice finally got through to him, and his terror began to flee while he desperately clung to Jim. Jim had assumed that Rodie was having the same nightmare about the night his father was killed, but as soon as he had seen Rodie's eyes, he knew that it was something else entirely. "It's ok now Bright Eyes, it was just a very bad dream. I am here for you, and I got you now, so calm down. Everything will be ok, so relax my love." Jim told him after the initial surprise of Rodie's tight embrace wore off. That was the most that Rodie had physically moved at one time since his father's death and his spinal injury. However, Jim quickly realized that Rodie's half turn and embrace was more of a reflex, driven by his fear, than any real conscious effort to move on his part. Rodie was able to move his arms and legs, but it required intense concentration and willpower for him to do this. However, as the days had stretched into months with hardly any visible improvement, the depression and hopelessness had set in. This hampered his ability to concentrate, and broke his willpower to overcome his disabilities. Still, this reflexive movement just reinforced Jim's belief that Rodie would make a full recovery once Dr. Goodman did the corrective surgery to Rodie's spine tomorrow. For now, all he needed to know was that Rodie was frightened almost beyond terror, and he needed to calm him down. "Calm down Rodie, it was just a very bad, scary dream. It is all over, and you are safe now. I got you now, and I will not let anything bad happen to you, not now or ever. You are safe my love...do you hear me, you are safe now." He repeated as he felt Rodie's small body trembling violently while he whispered into Rodie's ear. He felt Rodie's arms relax their grip slightly, and he started kissing the top of Rodie's head while he caressed his back and damp hair. Finally, Jim heard the choking sobs begin as Rodie became aware of his surroundings. Jim gently rested Rodie's head on his shoulder as the rest of his small body went limp in his arms as he continued to cry. Placing one hand on Rodie's small, bikini clad bottom, he could feel the wetness of the thin cotton material as he stood up and began to pace back and forth. He continued to whisper soothingly into Rodie's ear for another 30 minutes while he limped back and forth in the room until Rodie cried himself out. It took another 15 minutes after his tears stopped before he could speak, but Jim used that time to remove his wet briefs and clean him up before putting on a clean pair of bikini briefs. Jim also covered the small wet area on the bed sheet with a towel. He could tell that Rodie had not wet himself because he needed to urinate, but because of the terror he was in. However, the fact of Rodie knowing that he had wet himself, even if it was done in fear, made Rodie blush with embarrassment. "Thanks Jim...I think I'm ok now. You won't tell anyone what happened...please?" He said in soft but hoarse voice as he slowly raised his head from Jim's chest while his multi-colored eyes pleaded with him. Jim moved over to the reclining chair he had been sleeping in and sat down. Once he had himself and Rodie comfortable, Jim got a tissue and placed it in Rodie's hand before bringing it up to his runny nose. As Rodie blew his nose, Jim took another tissue and gently dried his face. "No, I won't tell anyone about what happened, I promise. You want to talk about it though, my love?" Jim asked him once Rodie had met his gaze. Rodie's eyes began to water again as he gave a small nod to Jim. "It is alright now, so don't cry anymore my love." "I woke up and everyone was around my bed. I couldn't move or talk...even with my mind, and nobody cared. Even mommy didn't care. You didn't even care...then I woke up here and you were holding me." He said quietly as another tear slipped down his face while looking away with his eyes. If the C-collar brace had not stopped him from turning his head, then Jim knew that Rodie would have tried to turn away instead of just looking away with his eyes. Jim gently brushed his tear away and kissed him on his nose. "It was just a bad dream, that's all. You know that your mom and I could never be like that. You are our reason to live, so we will always care about you." Jim told him as he hugged Rodie. However, Jim had a feeling that Rodie wanted to say more but was either unsure or afraid to do so. "It's ok my love, it is just us right now. You can tell me what's bothering you, and it will be just between us." He felt Rodie relax a bit more while a look of relief showed on his face. His eyes shifted down to Jim's chest and new tears streaked down his face. Then Rodie sniffled, and looked back at Jim. "All mommy wanted to do was to marry John and put me someplace so she wouldn't have to do anything for me. She said that once I was gone they could be a real family again. Then you agreed with her, but you got mad at her for telling me and making me cry. Nobody cared about me anymore...all they talked about was how much of a problem it was to take care of me. Do I really cause everybody that many problems Jim?" Rodie asked him in between sniffles while searching Jim's face for the truth. "Yes and no." Jim said honestly, and he saw shame begin to creep up into Rodie's face. "Wait my love, let me explain before you start assuming things." Rodie thought a moment before nodding his head slightly. While his face was still tinged with shame, Jim could see a glimmer of hope in Rodie's green and gold eyes. "What I mean by yes and no is that all of the things that have happened to you and all of the difficulties you are having now with recovering; yes, it has caused all of us inconveniences and problems in all our lives. What happened that night your father died has changed all of our lives in many ways, and it is not because of you. However, the answer to your question though is no. Yes, there are inconveniences and problems we have to deal with in order to help you recover, but we do not think of you as a problem. Why, because we all love you...I love you. Now I cannot speak for the others about their reasons why, but I can tell you how I feel about this. Love is not just about being together, or about sex, although they are part of true love. Nor is it about the good moments, or just the happy times either. It is also about the bad times too, and about caring more for someone else than you care about yourself. This is a bad time for you, and you need me, you need all of us because it is the worst time for you. Therefore, I am here for you even if it causes me problems and physical pain, just like there others are here for you. I do it because you need my love more than ever right now, so I am here to give it to you. I love you more than life itself, and will continue to love you with all of my heart, all of the time including the good and bad times, for as long as you want me to share in your life. It is because I love you, and I do not ever want to go back to the empty and lonely life I was living before I met you. With you in my life, I have countless reasons to wake up every day, with something new to share with you every day, and you even make my pain seem better instead of worse. That is what true love is about...it's about trust, sharing, and caring more for someone you love than you care about yourself." Jim said to him. As he said this, the shame in Rodie's face disappeared. "Do you understand now?" Jim asked him. Rodie's tears came faster as his bottom lip trembled as he nodded slightly as the complete understanding of true love came to him. At the same time as the full understanding of Jim's love for him was revealed, the depth of his own love for Jim was revealed to him also. It was not just about being with someone, or feeling good, or even sex. It was about trust. It was the willingness to give a person(s) his 100% trust, and to place his self completely into that person(s) power and control becoming 100% vulnerable while trusting that person would protect and care for you. Rodie realized that of all those that he loved in his extended family, that only Mikki had his complete trust. Now Rodie had to confront the dilemma that he had been avoiding for over a year now. However, it was not who he loved the most between Jim and Mark, but who he trusted the most right now. Also, who could he be completely vulnerable with, and who he wanted to spend his immediate future with. Since he was only 11, he could not imagine himself or his life when he would be 35, or even 21 for that matter. However, Rodie knew that for as far as he could picture himself in the future, he could only do that if he was with Jim only. Rodie understood how it felt to be utterly powerless, and he understood the depth of the trust he had given each of them. He also realized that by giving that kind of trust to someone is the ultimate expression of his love. Also, that all of them were expressing their love for him by not betraying or abusing the trust he had given them. He now realized who he trusted the most right now to surrender what little power and control he did have left, and that was Jim. He loved Mark, and he trusted Mark as much as he trusted Jim. However, since the night his father died, Rodie did not trust his own self anymore. He could not trust himself enough to be able to surrender complete control of himself to Mark, while loving him with all of his heart. It was because he realized that Mark and he were almost identical in personality and their emotions. Neither of them would take the leading role in a relationship because they both were too passive. Therefore, Rodie took another step in his recovery by coming to terms with the fact that he loved Mark right now more as he loved a brother than as a lover right now. He also wanted to be with Jim right now because Jim was everything he had been searching for without realizing it. Therefore, he surrendered to his love, and gave his complete trust and power to Jim while he cried from his pain of turning away from Mark. "It hurts Jim," he said softly as his anguish showed while he broadcast what he meant to Jim. It took only a few moments for Jim to absorb everything, and his face softened. He then started to kiss away Rodie's tears. "I know it does Rodie, but you have made your choice. Choices like this always hurt because it means giving up something you love in order to gain what you need and desire most. I know how much you love Mark, and the time will come when you and Mark can love each other completely. I could not help you choose, and that is why I refused to show either you or Mark my true feelings, so you could choose with your heart. Now that it is done, you can begin to heal inside as well as outside so you can recover everything you've lost. We will do it together my love, because it is no longer just your pain or my pain, but our pain. Now, Mark can heal inside too, and he won't have to feel guilty for getting what he needs and desires the most also. He needs a mother just as your mom needs to be a mother, and I need you to help heal me just as much as you need me. Yes it will hurt, but Mark will understand, and love you more because you have chosen with your heart." Jim said softly to him as he kissed his tears away. Rodie allowed Jim to gently guide his head back to his shoulder, and then he silently voiced his fears to him. "Will you still feel the same about me tomorrow if something goes wrong Jim? What if it comes true and I end up just like in my dream?" He thought to Jim, although he already knew the answer, but he needed to hear it from Jim to believe it. "Then I will take care of you, and enjoy the extended hours of cuddle time with you. Since you cannot do anything to stop it, then I can hug, poke, kiss, and tickle you as much as I want." Jim thought back to him as he realized that Rodie's mental shields were now completely gone from him. Then Jim surprised Rodie by uncovering the secrets he had kept hidden from him. Rodie could have found out if he had tried long enough, but he did not try because he did not want to hurt Jim by prying without permission. Now Jim opened up to him and shared his memories, and love of Byron, and also the pain of losing him. Jim showed him the dark time that he went through, and that eventually drove him to the abyss. Next, he shared all of his memories about Mikki, and how she had pulled him back from the edge, and Rodie understood why she called him her dearest one. For the rest of the early morning hours all they did was to commune spiritually with each other. Allowing the other to know everything without holding back any secrets anymore, and Jim realized what he needed to do next after Rodie was finished here. Mikki finally interrupted them as they slept in each other's arms in the chair. "Now isn't this sweet. A true Hallmark moment, but a bit inappropriate considering what is going to happen in the morning don`t you think." She said silently to them causing first Jim, then Rodie to wake. Rodie managed to move his hand the few inches to his face and rub his sleepy eyes. "Morning Mikki," he managed to mumble in a hoarse whisper of a voice as he continued to rub at his eye. He started to turn his head, forgetting about the C-collar brace he was wearing, but this caused the white-hot pain to shoot through his neck, shoulders, arms, and back making him cry out before gritting his teeth while sucking in air through them. Mikki moved quickly to his side before touching Rodie's temples on his head, and she sensed his pain as well as his choice. "You are in a lot of pain, and I see you have chosen the path you will follow. However, you have pushed yourself, both emotionally and physically, to the limit my littlest one, and you need to rest. The pain is going away now, just as the tide goes out my littlest one." She said while she gently took him from Jim and transferred him back into his bed. Jim quickly told her about Rodie's nightmare, and Mikki looked at him and nodded. Once she had Rodie comfortable in the bed, she reached up and touched his temple again. "Now listen to me, my littlest one, I want you to sleep, and rest...but with no pain, and no dreams this time. Now relax, and sleep because everyone is here as you requested. Sleep, my littlest one, and we can talk when you wake up." She told him as she watched his body visibly relax as he drifted off to sleep again as she gently guided his consciousness into the healing trance. Once he was in the trance, Mikki looked over at Jim who was stretching to relieve his own cramps and pain. "Good morning little mother," he said to her with a look of profound love and respect. When she came over, he stood up and kissed her on the forehead. "My dearest one, I know it is much to ask, but may I see what happened?" She asked Jim silently while she smiled at him. "Of course, little mother." Jim replied and Mikki placed her hands on the sides of Jim's face for a moment. Then she gave his face a gentle caress while showing all of her love she had for him as she smiled at Jim. "Oh, my dearest one, I should not have doubted you. It was his decision, without any influence from you. Now I need your help once more. You and my little one still need to heal my dear one once he becomes aware of Rodie's choice." She told him as she embraced him warmly. "I know little mother, and I will speak with Eric tonight and get his help. Although, I think Mark will understand, and not be as upset as you think once he knows that nothing has changed between him and me. He loves Rodie, but he needs a mother more right now, just as Eric needs her too. Now with Rodie's decision, he will get everything. Rodie will be his brother, and Cathy his mother, and he still has me too. Both of them will always have me, because I love them both. As for the physical attraction between Rodie and Mark, well a little incest here and there wouldn't hurt anyone." Jim told her, also with the last part, he said it with a huge grin while winking at her. "Oh you are incorrigible!" She chided him with a wide smile. "Let's go see the others, they are waiting downstairs for us." Jim just laughed as he grabbed his cane and they both left the room and headed downstairs to where the others were waiting. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Later that evening: When Rodie awoke, it was almost 7 pm. However, this time he was not in the severe pain he had been in earlier, but he was still in pain. While gritting his teeth because of the effort it took him, he managed to move his right hand over to the bed rail and touch the call button for the nurse. The intercom speaker sprang to life a minute later. "Yes?" The duty nurse said through the intercom. "I'm hurting a lot, and is my mom out there?" Rodie replied in a soft, timid voice. "I will be right in," the duty nurse answered. A few minutes later, she knocked lightly on the door before entering. Rodie saw that it was Nurse Judy who came into the room, and he figured that she was going to be taking care of him for the night. He had become friends with her on his first day here, although she knew nothing about his abilities. "Hi Nurse Judy," Rodie said quietly with a small smile. She came over to the side of the bed and looked at him. "Hi there gorgeous, it looks like you are pretty uncomfortable. Do you hurt real bad right now?" She asked him and he managed a slight nod in response while gritting his teeth. "Well this should help...now you know that this will sting, you ready?" She looked at him as she took out a small syringe, and pulled down his covers exposing his bare legs. Again, Rodie managed a slight nod while he blushed prettily because all he was wearing was his bikini briefs. Next, she swabbed a spot on Rodie's thigh, and then injected the pain medication into his leg. A soft cry escaped Rodie's mouth even though he tried not to cry out, while his eyes watered. "There now, it's all over honey," she said as she gently massaged his thigh until the pain eased away. The burning pain was already easing away along with the rest of his pain. After a couple of minutes, Rodie's eyes became glassy and his vision blurred slightly. "I'm ok now, Nurse Judy...thanks," he said quietly to her. She smiled at him and gently brushed his stubborn lock of hair out of his face. "No problem beautiful. Your mom and the others went back to the hotel to freshen up, but they said they would be back after dinnertime. Your friend decided to wait here with you, and I think he went down to the cafeteria just before you woke up. He should be back in a few minutes, now can I get you anything honey?" Nurse Judy asked him. She had liked Rodie when she first met him, and soon discovered that he did not mind being called pet names like honey, beautiful, or sweetie. Unlike other boys his age, Rodie would always smile and blush that made him look so cute when she did that. Also, for some unknown reason to her, she would catch herself just staring at him. His long lashes only highlighted his green and gold colored eyes, while his cute face with their delicate features was accented by his long brown hair. Therefore, she always chose his chart when she came on duty. "Yeah, I'm a little thirsty, and...I...umm...I need to pee." Rodie said softly while blushing crimson. Even though he liked her, she was still a girl, and Rodie was extremely embarrassed to have any girl see his small penis. While he had accepted the fact that he needed help due to his inability to move, it was still painfully embarrassing for him. However, Nurse Judy understood this fact, and she would always get a male nurse to come and help him. The only problem was that Rodie did not like most of the male nurses while they liked him way to much. "I will get Chuck to come help you while I get you a drink. What would you like to drink, some juice, or soda?" She asked him gently while trying to spare him further embarrassment. "Umm...I guess so...thanks, Nurse Judy, and some apple juice would be fine too." Rodie replied shyly. Just then, Mark knocked softly before coming into the room. A look of extreme relief came across Rodie's face when he saw Mark. "Hi Bright Eyes," Mark said to him with a big smile. "Hi Mark, I've missed you." Rodie answered in his soft voice with his own smile. "I've missed you too," Mark said to him as he sat down next to Rodie and kissing him on the lips before rubbing his nose against Rodie's. Rodie's whole face brightened up along with a wide smile as Mark greeted him with his special greeting. "Well, now I don't have to hunt down Chuck for you. I will leave you two alone for a bit, and just open the door and I will bring you some juice ok Babe." Nurse Judy said to Rodie and Mark, who was now sitting on the bed next to Rodie. "Ok, and thanks again Nurse Judy," Rodie said as he blushed prettily for her while he continued to smile. Nurse Judy winked at him and smiled back before she left and closed the door behind her. "Thank God! You got here just in time Mark. You just saved me from having to let that weirdo Chuck twiddle with my balls again while I pee." Rodie thought silently to Mark before they both broke out laughing. Mark went and got the plastic urinal jug from the bathroom, then pulled down the covers and pulled down Rodie's bikini briefs. He then gently took Rodie's small penis and aimed it into the jug. As soon as he did this, a hot stream of urine shot out into the jug while Rodie sighed with relief. Once Rodie had finished, Mark closed the lid and set it aside, and then he grinned at Rodie as he gently rolled his small balls around with his fingers. Rodie's penis reacted and began to twitch and lengthen as he did this. "Well it looks like you enjoy someone twiddling with your balls." Mark said with a light laugh. "I do if it is you or Jim doing it, but Chuck is weird. His hands tremble as he touches my pecker while he pants just like Brutis." Rodie said with a giggle. Mark laughed with him as he redressed Rodie before covering him up again. He then emptied the urinal jug and washed his hands before opening the door to the room. A few moments later, Nurse Judy came in with two cups full of apple juice. She gave one to Mark, and sat the other one next to Rodie before leaving again. Mark held the cup while Rodie took three long swallows from the straw before relaxing back on the pillow. Rodie then gritted his teeth as he struggled to move closer to Mark. While moving still caused him pain, it was not as bad now as it had been without the neck brace. "No, you will hurt yourself Rodie," Mark said to him when he realized what Rodie was trying to do. He quickly scooted closer to Rodie, and then gently positioned Rodie until he was leaning against him. For the next couple of minutes, they sat together in the bed in silence while Mark embraced him before Rodie finally spoke. "We need to talk Mark," Rodie said quietly as he leaned his head against Mark while staring out the window. "About us right?" "Yeah...you know that I love you and always will, don't you?" Rodie said as his eyes watered. "I know, and I feel the same about you Rodie." "I know you do, but I need to ask you something." [Long pause] "Ok, what is it?" "How much do you love my mom?" [Another long pause] "Very much Rodie, she reminds me of my mom." "Do you love her as much as your mom?" Rodie asked him, and he could sense the struggle that was going on inside Mark. They continued to sit in silence for another few minutes before Mark answered in a choked voice. "Yes...I do love her as much as my mom." "It's ok Mark, she loves you just as much as she loves me, and Eric too. I have been thinking about this for a while now. I love you and you love me, but I was thinking that we can still love each other just as much as brothers instead of boyfriends. This way we are all happy while we can still be together, and you and Eric get a mom and me as a brother. While I get to be with you and Eric all the time...and...maybe...maybe I can have your dad help me try to forget all of the awful things my father did to all of us...if it don't bother you and Eric to much. What do you think about this?" Rodie asked him aloud. "It won't bother us Rodie. Dad loves you as much as he loves us. I think your idea is great, but...it means that we can never be together except as brothers though, doesn't it?" "Only for now Mark, once we are both older then we will be together as boyfriends, but for right now...you two need a mom, and I need a dad...while all three of us need each other. I don't like it either, but I need all of you so I can get well. To do that though, it means I have to give up some things, like having mommy all to myself, and you being my boyfriend, and Eric being my best friend. I also love Jim, and he is the only one who can help heal me, inside and out, from what my father did to me. He has already been through rehab and can teach me how to compensate for my weaknesses. Your dad can help me too...by showing me how a real father loves his son so I can heal inside. I know it is a lot to ask of you, but if I can't heal the hurt inside me as well as the hurt outside, then I will never get well again. Only Jim, and your dad can heal that hurt, just as I am the only one to heal the hurt inside Jim that he has from losing Byron. So you see, me and Jim need each other, so we can heal each other's hurts that are inside us, and I need you too Mark. I need you, and you need me so we can fix all the things my father did to us that night. We have to heal those things if we ever want to be together as boyfriends. You want to know something? You are my first boyfriend and true love, and nothing will ever change that. Jim explained it best to me. He said that, right now...we are still too young to be lovers, and you and Eric both deserve to have a mom who loves you, just as I deserve to have someone who can be a real dad to me. Most of all, your dad and my mom deserve to be happy too, and they are happy when they are together...when we are all together as one family. So, can we all be happy and you and me still love each other, but only as brothers for now?" Rodie said aloud to him as his tears spilled down his face. Jim and Mikki had both said that it would be hard for him to do this, but they did not tell him that it would hurt so much. Even though Rodie knew he was not really losing Mark or Eric, he had lost his innocence, and he was no longer a child anymore. Now, at the tender age of 11, Rodie took his first steps as a young man, and the loss of his childhood and innocence was why it was so painful for him. "What about Jim though? I love him too Rodie," Mark asked him while his own tears flowed down his face. "I know you do, and he loves you. My choice now will not change anything between you and Jim. And I'm not so selfish or stupid to try and keep Jim all to myself. I will love him forever, but all of us know that he will not be my only true love. You already are one of my true loves, just as he is. Also, Jim needs you just as much as he needs me to heal him inside. So don't worry about me because I know you need Jim for your own reasons just like I need him. What you and Jim do is your business unless you want to share it with me. Just like what we do together is our business only." Rodie thought silently to him. "What we do? But we will be brothers though, so it would be wrong if someone found out," Mark thought back confused. "So we have to make sure that nobody finds out then, and it's not wrong really because we do love each other." Rodie thought to him silently. This caused Mark to burst out laughing causing Rodie to laugh too, but Mark quickly became serious when he saw Rodie wince in pain from the sudden movement. "I'm sorry Rodie, are you ok?" Mark asked him in a worried voice. It took a few moments before Rodie was able to relax again as the pain gradually eased off again. "Yeah, I'm ok now. I keep forgetting that laughing hurts too is all." Rodie replied aloud. He leaned back against Mark again, and Mark got a tissue and gently dried his face before doing his own in silence. Rodie did not have to read Mark to know that he was fighting to regain control of his emotions. "Yeah Rodie, I think that your plan is for the best for all of us. We both get what we want and what we need this way. Once we grow up some more, maybe then it will be our time for us to be together as something more than brothers. I love you and always will, so I will wait until we are ready...ok brother." Mark said as he gently turned Rodie until they were looking at each other. He tried to smile, but his reddened eyes revealed the truth of his pain. "I love you too, and always will. We will be together one day once we grow up, but for now we will wait...my brother." Rodie replied with a smile, and Mark even managed to smile back at him. Then Mark kissed him tenderly on the lips before rubbing noses with him. Rodie then relaxed against him again while Mark embraced him. They both dosed off and the others found them like that with Rodie in Mark's protective embrace a little over an hour later. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Cathy and John both knew that something important had changed between Mark and Rodie. They glanced at each other and John gave her hand a small squeeze. Rodie opened his eyes just then and smiled as he saw them. "Hi mommy," he said in his soft voice, but it was enough to wake Mark though. "Hi Dad, and Cathy," he said with a yawn. "We must have fallen asleep Rodie." "I know, but I've missed sleeping next to you though." Rodie told him before yawning himself. Cathy sat down next to Rodie while John took a chair and sat on the other side of the bed closest to Mark. Jim and Mikki came in and sat at the end of his bed near Cathy after greeting and kissing Rodie. Next Eddie and Marco came in followed by Eric. "How are you feeling Bright Eyes," Eddie said as he leaned over and kissed Rodie before rubbing his nose against Rodie's small nose. "Hi Eddie, thanks for coming." Rodie said quietly with a big smile as his eyes watered. "Now, none of that ok. You know that I could not stay away. I would have come even if you had not asked me to. Besides, it's my duty to be here as your 1st friend, just like Mr. Spock is the 1st officer to Captain Kirk." He said as he brushed the lock of hair out of Rodie's face. "Hey, you can't be Mr. Spock though `cause your ears aren't pointy, only your nose is." Rodie said with a soft giggle. "Well! I will have you know that my nose is considered to be very sophisticated. Just ask Marco," Eddie said with mock indignation causing another soft giggle from Rodie. "It is true, he does have a very sophisticated pointy nose," Marco said to Rodie while Eddie did a florid bow. Marco leaned over and kissed his forehead. "We have all missed you, master Rodie. Even Brutis is depressed because of your absence, although he does find enough energy to chase Mikki's gardener every day." "I miss him to...I've missed all of you. Now that you are all here with me, I won't be so scared of the surgery tomorrow." Rodie said to them all as he looked at each one of them. Then he sent his thought to Mark, "I think it's time to tell them," and Mark agreed. "Mom, could you come sit with John, and Eric, you come sit by me here please?" Rodie asked with a soft squeak. His voice always squeaked when he became nervous or excited. Cathy looked at him for a moment, and then at John before doing as he asked. Eric came over and took Cathy's seat next to Rodie. His cherubic face became worried because he knew something was going to happen, something important. His worries increased when he saw both Rodie and Mark look towards Cathy and his father as tears began to fill their eyes. "When I woke this afternoon, me and Mark had a long talk together. We both have decided that we love each other and that we always want to be together." Rodie told them in his quiet, squeaking voice. When he said this, Eric's face fell with a sad expression as his hopes for his secret desire faded. Rodie looked at Eric, and saw his expression and quickly sent his thoughts to him. "Don't be sad Eric, trust me ok." "Ok Rodie," Eric thought back to him although his expression did not change. Rodie then looked at Jim who nodded his head slightly. Looking at Eric now, Rodie spoke out loud in his soft squeaking voice. "I know that you are my first and only best friend Eric, and I love you for that...but we can't be best friends anymore." Rodie told him softly. Those words hit Eric with the same force as if Rodie had kicked him in the gut. When he heard this, he wailed in protest and confusion while his tears came hot and fast. "No! Please no! Why can't we still be best friends anymore Rodie? What did I do wrong? I'm sorry for what ever I did, but you can't stop being my best friend." Eric cried as his tears coursed down his face. Rodie sent his thoughts to Eric almost as if it were a slap. "I said to trust me, so stop it please!" With his tears still in his eyes, Eric quickly quieted down and nodded to Rodie. "The reason I can't be your best friend anymore Eric is because it isn't allowed. I had to make a very hard choice today, and I have chosen to be your brother instead of your best friend." Rodie said softly and Eric's eyes widened in disbelief as he searched for the words to say. "Y...you...want...to be mm...my brother? Really, really?" Eric peeped with growing excitement while his breathing quickened. "Yeah, really Eric, but it's not my decision though. I've chosen what I want, but it's not my decision to make it come true." Rodie said with a smile. Eric jumped up and started to hug Rodie, but at the last second, he remembered to be careful, so he stopped himself and leaned over and just kissed Rodie only. Rodie smiled at him again before his face became serious once more as Eric sat down. He then looked over to his mother, and John. "Mommy...you know how bad my father has hurt me, both inside and out. Jim can help me heal inside some, but I need you to help me heal inside some too. You can't do that unless you are happy because that will make me happy, and that helps heal me inside. I know you are worried about getting involved with someone while I am still hurt, but you have found someone who does make you happy. So don't push him away because you are afraid for me, ok." Rodie said to her while his love for her showed clearly on his face to everyone. Then Rodie looked downward and was quiet for a full minute before his eyes watered and his tears began to slip down his face. When he looked up again, he looked directly at John. "John, you make my mom so happy, and she really deserves to be happy right now. I always tried to be everything that my father wanted, but the more I tried, the more he hated me. All I ever wanted was for him to love me, and he never did. All he did was to hurt me more and more each time until he almost killed me and Mark. Mark was right when he told me that he was just my father in name only. I have never known what it feels like to have a dad that loves me, or what its like to have brothers who love me. I have always been so alone in my life, with no one to love me except my mom. I don't want to be alone anymore, and I'm not because of all of you here. I know you love my mom and want to marry her, and she love you and wants to get married too. I love Mark and Eric and want to have them as my brothers, but..." Rodie faltered, "but could you...do you think you could love me enough to be my dad? If you could, then I will never be alone then, and mommy would be happy again." Rodie asked him as his tears trekked down his face. "I already do son, and I would be proud to have you as my son. I loved you as a son before I loved your mother. Mark and Eric deserve to have a mother's love again...just as you deserve to know a father's love for his son," was all John said, and Rodie's bottom lip trembled as he slowly closed his eyes and began to weep while Mark supported him. Jim started to get up, but Mark shook his head no and stopped him. "Dad, Rodie needs you right now, so just love him as you have loved us," Mark said to his father. John stood up and gently picked Rodie up into his arms, and held him with Cathy at his side. Strangled sobs came from Rodie as he released the pain that his father had inflicted upon him all his life by never giving him anything except pain. Unable to cling to him now because he was physically spent, Rodie just became a limp rag doll in John's arms while he continued to cry softly. At the same time, Eric got up and went to his brother. He looked first at Mark, then to Rodie, and then back at Mark. "You did the right thing...for all of us," he said quietly to his brother as he stood on the tips of his toes and kissed him. He knew how much it hurt Mark to set aside his desire to be with Rodie. Mark just nodded as his own tears spilled down his face, and then he just hugged Eric who hugged him back. It did not take long for Rodie to cry himself to sleep while John held and comforted him. He was already physically spent, so it did not take long before he was emotionally spent also. After they had put Rodie back into bed, Eddie looked at them with a big smile. "Well, now that it's official, when is the wedding? Other than catering Chiari's wedding, this will be the first one I've planned." He asked John and Cathy while he rubbed his hands eagerly together. Both Cathy and John looked at each other for a moment before John answered him. "There will not be a wedding until Rodie can escort his mother down the aisle and give her away." John told him, and Cathy nodded her agreement. Eddie's smile grew even bigger then. "I was about to suggest that myself," he said to them, and then he went over to Jim. "Someone sacrificed something very dear today, and I know he is hurting. I think you will be the best one to ease his pain bro." Eddie said to him very quietly as he glanced at Mark. Jim gave him a barely perceptible nod and Eddie went back and sat beside Marco. "Cathy, I think that it would be best if you asked the nurse to give something to Rodie so that he will sleep through the night. He has a very long surgery in the morning, and we all need some rest. Eric, would you mind staying with Rodie tonight, because I think your brother needs some time to think and rest." Jim asked them, and Cathy agreed before leaving with John to speak with the nurse. Eric looked at Jim and nodded before speaking. "Sure Jim, I will make sure that he is ok tonight. I need to practice anyway since he will be my big brother now while Mark will be my biggest brother." Eric said seriously, and that caused them all to chuckle. Only a child like Eric could say something that funny, yet so true at the same time. Jim went and got a pair of Rodie's pajamas that were too big for him, then he turned to Eric and held open his arms. "Come here Spritemite," he said to Eric who rushed over into his embrace. Jim helped Eric undress to his Spiderman underwear, and then helped him put on the pajamas, which fit him perfectly. Once this was done, Jim scooped him up and kissed him on the cheek while hugging him tightly. "I love you Spritemite, and Rodie is very lucky to now have you as his brother. Promise that you will take care of him...for me." Jim said to him as they looked at each other with their foreheads touching. While Rodie had taken his first steps into adulthood because of the loss of his innocence, Eric still remained a child with his innocence intact. "I promise Jim, and I love you more," Eric said quietly before kissing and hugging him. Jim gently lowered him down until he could stand, and Eric went back over and slipped into the bed next to Rodie. Nurse Judy came in followed by Cathy and John. Rodie opened his eyes briefly before she gave him two shots as she told Cathy that one was for pain, and the other should help him sleep through the night. Rodie went back to sleep while Cathy thanked her, then Nurse Judy bent down and kissed Rodie's forehead. "Sleep well sweetheart," she whispered to Rodie. Next, she looked over at Eric. "Oh my, I've got another cutie pie to take care of tonight. Now if you need me for anything honey, you just press this red button here on the bed railing. There is one on each side, and if Rodie wakes up needing to tinkle a little sprinkle, the urinal jug is in there beside the toilet. Just close the door here so nobody will bother you and open it again once you all have finished. You got all of that, sweetie?" She asked Eric while it was his turn to blush prettily as he gave her a toothy smile. "I think so, but I will call you if I forget...umm...I don't know your name though," he said shyly. "My name is Judy, so call me Nurse Judy, but for you, my little cutie pie, you can call me Nurse Cupcake." She said with a smile as she tweaked his button nose making him give a little "eek" before giggling. "Ok Nurse Cupcake, I will call you if we need something." Eric said while he continued to blush and giggle. She then told everyone goodnight and left the room. The rest of them made their plans quickly except Mark and Jim. They waited until it was just Rodie and Eric, Mikki, and themselves. Jim went over to Mark and gently embraced him. "Come on, Babe. Let's go get some rest, and we can talk about it." Jim said to him, and Mark sniffled before standing up and leaning against Jim. Jim put his arm around Mark's shoulders and then escorted him out of the room. Last of all, Mikki came over to Eric, and kissed him lightly on his forehead. "See my little one, I told you that you would have to help me heal my littlest one. Just remember, you have always had a brother before, while my littlest one has had just his mother to love him. Since you are closest to Rodie's age, then it will be your responsibility to help him learn all the things that a brother needs to learn, and to teach him how to forgive himself too. However, just as your brother said to your father, just love him for tonight." Mikki explained to him silently as she embraced him. "I will Mikki, and he needs a lot of love from all of us." He said to her, but his cherubic face gave away the fact that there was something more that needed to be discussed. "What is troubling you little one?" Mikki asked him gently as she sat on the bed beside him. Eric's bottom lip trembled a bit as his tears welled up in his eyes and spilled down his cheeks. He hugged Mikki, and buried his face into her upper chest. "It's all coming true, everything I wanted is coming true now, but what if Rodie can't move or walk after the surgery tomorrow? Then my dad and Cathy will never get married then and everything will fall apart. I'm so scared that something will go wrong and ruin everything. How can I help him if I lose him as my brother, but also as my best friend too." Eric sobbed softly to her as he told all of his doubts and insecurities. Mikki just kissed the top of his head while she cuddled him close. "Now there, my little one, there is no need to worry. Everything will go just fine tomorrow. You are, by far, the most innocent as well as one of the smartest of all my dear ones, yet you have not guessed how to make my littlest one whole again. Now tell me, what do you see that makes my littlest one so special besides his talents?" She asked him. Eric sniffled a few times as he relaxed in her gentle embrace and thought hard about her question. After a couple of minutes passed, he looked up at her. "Everybody thinks he's beautiful," Eric said. "You are right, little one. Now then, because everyone thinks he is beautiful, how does that make them feel towards my littlest one?" She asked him after she gave him a little squeeze. Again, Eric was silent for another two minutes while a small frown showed on his face as he thought about the question. Once again, he looked up at Mikki. "Well most of them either like him or love him before they even get to know his name." Eric said softly then waiting for her to say he was right or wrong. Mikki's smile got bigger as Eric answered. "You are right again, see how smart you are my little one. That is my littlest one's most powerful gift, his ability to make someone love him. That is why his father has hurt him so badly, because he could see how everybody loved Rodie. While all Rodie ever wanted was his father's love, so his father denied him his love and it shattered Rodie's soul. Now my littlest one believes that he is unlovable, and we have to change that. The way we change that is to love him as he loves us. If we all do that, then my littlest one will get better, and he will walk again. This is where you will help him, little one. You have to teach him that love is not just about what you desire, but about caring more about someone else while expecting nothing in return, and even if it hurts you. You and your brother are the only ones able to do this because that is your gifts. It is also what makes both of you so special to all of us, but you know that already, don't you?" Mikki explained gently to him. "You all know?" Eric asked with a surprised look on his cherubic face. "Of course we know, we are not stupid either, my little one." She chided him. "You and your brother are two halves of a whole heart, and both of you compliment the other. Where you are loyal, he is compassionate, and you are giving while he is kind. That is why it will take both of you together to heal my littlest one, because each of you alone can heal him halfway only. As for your worries about tomorrow's surgery, there is no need to worry. Dr. Goodman has his own gift, and he will use it tomorrow to make our littlest one whole again." "Really?" He asked while he looked into her multi-colored eyes. She just nodded in response. "Ok Mikki. I'm also glad you know about me and Mark...but I don't think he knows though." "No he doesn't know, not exactly, but he will know soon. Now you rest, and watch over my littlest one, because we all will have a very long day tomorrow." She said silently to him as she kissed him on the nose. Eric hugged her and kissed her back before he settled down next to Rodie while holding his hand. Mikki then stood and turned down the lights until just the light above the bed was left on. Eric sighed happily as he closed his eyes, and Mikki left to join the others waiting for her. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jim gently guided Mark into his room at the hotel. Mark had remained silent the whole time since they left Rodie's room at the hospital. Once inside, Jim started to undress Mark. Once Mark was completely naked, then Jim undressed too. After he was naked also, he gently pulled Mark up and into his embrace. Mark just wilted in his arms as his tears began to flow. Jim then guided him into the shower, where he adjusted the water to warm before guiding Mark under the spray. While Jim knew that sex would be highly inappropriate in the others eyes, he knew that Mark desperately needed intimate contact with him. So, Jim proceeded to tenderly wash Mark starting with his neck, shoulders, and back before working his way down. Once he finished, he reached around Mark and started washing his front. As he slowly and gently massaged Mark's young, 15 yr-old body, he could see his boy cock harden until it was standing at its full four and a half inch length while it jumped in time to Mark's heartbeat. As Jim reached Mark's small patch of pubic hair, a guttural cry came from Mark, and he turned and faced Jim. Jim watched all of the conflicting emotions show on Mark's face, and then Mark opened his eyes and looked into his own. "Hold me please," Mark managed to say in a strained whisper. Jim pulled him close and embraced him while Mark laid his head against Jim's chest. Then Jim began to feel Mark's young, lean body begin to shake while his strangled sobs escaped his mouth. "I had to let him go Jim. I didn't want to, but I had to let him go, or lose him forever. I know that it is the best choice for him...for all of us, but it hurt so much...it still hurts." "I know it hurts Babe, it feels as if your soul has been ripped out of your body. The pain is almost unbearable, and you wish that you were dead so you won't have to feel anything anymore. I know this pain all too well Mark. What you did today was very brave, and I am so proud of you. We both know that it was the right thing to do for Rodie, but it doesn't make it easier, or make it less painful. Just remember that you have not lost him, and you will be together one day in the future." Jim explained to him gently, and Mark looked up at him with his reddened eyes. "But...how? He made his choice...for you," Mark said as his tears mixed with the beads of water from the shower. "No Mark, you are not seeing everything. Yes, he chose me for now, but not forever. See, when you love something or someone, then sometimes in order to have them return that love, you have to let them go and set them free. That is what you did today, you let go and set him free, and by setting Rodie free so he could love me, now Rodie can return your love. At first, it will be the love as your brother, but as you both get older and he learns to forgive himself, it will become true love for both of you. I love Rodie, I set him free, and that is why he is returning my love now. I freed him from his father's hatred and abuse. I also love you Mark, and I set you free also so you could love Rodie. Now that Rodie has chosen to wait with you, that allows you to return my love now. You forget that you are the only boy I have ever made love to, or plan on doing so in the near future. Not even Rodie can change that fact right now." Jim said to him in a soft and gentle voice. Mark could only nod as he cried out his pain while Jim held him close and kissed his tears away. As he cried, he slowly came to understand that he had not lost Rodie's love at all, but that it would be in a different form for now. He also realized that he still had Jim, who loved, desired, and needed him now, and in the future. This helped him accept the pain, but he needed to be physically loved right now. Therefore, he lifted his head and looked into Jim's eyes while pleading with him. "I need you to love me Jim," Mark said softly to him. Jim understood his need, and he kissed him while he shut the water off. When he finally broke the kiss, he gently guided Mark out of the shower, and tenderly dried him, kissing his body as he did so. After drying himself, he led Mark out to the bed where he laid him down. Jim retrieved the tube of Anal-Ease from his shaving kit, and as he sat down on the bed, Mark brought his legs up to his chest to allow Jim to apply the lube. His boy cock throbbed as Jim gently inserted his first finger up to the second knuckle before pulling it out and re-inserting it to spread the lube. When he inserted a second finger, Mark groaned as his sphincter spasmed, and Jim took hold of his boy tool and began to jack him off while he continued to finger Mark's rosebud. It took only a very short time before Mark let out a soft squeal of pure ecstasy as his first shot of boy cum hit him on his chest close to his neck. Jim buried his fingers as deep as he could into Mark's spasming boy cunt, and then he pressed down on the peanut sized prostate causing Mark to cry out as he shot load after load of his boy cum onto his chest. As his overwhelming orgasm faded, and his boy cock began to soften, Mark went limp as his chest heaved while his thin boy cum began to pool at the base of his neck He just lay there feeling weak while Jim got a towel and wiped away the traces of his orgasm. After cleaning him up, and then laying next to him in the bed, Mark opened his eyes and looked dreamily at Jim. "Feel better now?" Jim asked him as he gently caressed Mark's body. "Yeah...but you didn't do it though. Why not?" Mark asked him with a worried expression on his face. "I could not, not after all that has happened today with you and Rodie. So, I improvised because you needed me. I promise that next time you will have all of me to do as you please ok," Jim said apologetically to him. Mark understood, and nodded to Jim. "Just hold me for tonight then," Mark said drowsily in a half whisper. Jim lay next to him and Mark snuggled up close until their bare skin made contact with each other's. Jim brushed the soft brown curls out of Mark's eyes and kissed him. "I love you Jim," Mark mumbled after Jim ended their kiss, and he slid into a restful slumber. Jim just continued to watch him as he slept while he thought about the day's events. Finally, Jim gently kissed Mark's forehead. "I love you too, my prince," he said before he eased himself out of the bed. Quietly, Jim turned down the lights, and picked up their dirty clothes. Once he had tidied things up, he took his medication. Finally, Jim eased himself back into the bed and he embraced Mark in his arms. Only then did he close his eyes and sleep also. End Chapter 5. All responses will be read, but flames will be ignored. Please send all responses to snwdemon@yahoo.com or snwdemon@hotmail.com