Date: Sun, 28 Nov 2004 20:30:55 -0800 From: Kevin Harness Subject: Save The Boy, Chapt 5 Once again, all the usual disclaimers hold true. If you are under 18 or think that you might be, you are not supposed to be reading this story per most of the laws and statutes that I'm aware of. Also, your local laws and / or statutes may not let you read this kind of a story at all: that of boylove, which is to say that even though all the actors playing these parts are over 18, there might be a character in the story who is below the age of 18 and who has sex. Yeah, I know. But oh well. Read on. =============================================================================== Chapter 5 Jeremy was brushing his teeth after a shower, looking at himself in the mirror. He was admiring his new hairdo, looking at it from the right and left, trying to get an idea of how it looked and what it looked like to others. That was always puzzling. He knew that blonde hair was considered hot and sexy, but he was frankly pretty used to having blonde hair so it wasn't all that big of a deal to him. Yeah, sure, he knew he had nice features and nice eyes, but again he wasn't altogether sure that half of what he'd heard across his short life wasn't verbage to just get his pants down. He sighed. It was a sad state of affairs, he thought, when you couldn't get a valid viewpoint that wasn't based on the other person's self-interest or gain. Pretty screwed, actually. He could only shake his head. And WHAT in the hell did he think he was doing? He'd been ready to suck a guy's dick to make $50 so he could survive a few more days. And what then, when that ran out and he needed more money and there was no part-time job or relative or handout in sight? He sighed more deeply. It wasn't like he was adverse to a blow job, either direction. He wasn't. It was just the whole idea of it all. He could see himself degenerating into a street trick kid. Visualizations of his being taken only for money - every day, all day long and by all sorts of people, possibly even being beaten - filled his head. And he was 17, not too far from being 18. What then? How long could he be a boy looking mid-teens so as to attract older guys with lots of money to have illicit sex? Where did he go from there? Pimping for some other younger boys who didn't know what to do or where to go yet? It reminded him of about half a dozen gay movies he'd seen depicting gay street kids making money on sex, none of which had a happy ending. He could barely rinse his mouth out, his very energy seemed sapped from his body. He wiped his mouth off and walked out from the bathroom and flopped onto the couch, thinking. Where was he going to go? He looked around, in disbelief that he was even somewhere at all after the events of two days ago. His mind ran over the various scenes in sort of a strobe-light fast-forward sequence. He thought of the night he was on the brick wall in the rain. It was one of the few times in his life that anyone had saved him from anything at all. That was a bit unsettling at the very least. What the hell did that mean? Still, he believed he could see the writing on the wall. Sure, Donny cared that he was out in the rain, hell, who in their right mind wouldn't, right? Yeah, he'd gone the extra mile to ensure that Jeremy hadn't just walked off and been in the elements any longer, but.... And the gesture Donny made with his arm toward the street of cars and people who'd not rescued him or come to his aid or asked if he was ok, it all froze in his mind.... Then he recalled what Donny said when he tried to say that nothing mattered anymore. He'd probably not heard any truer words spoken in any movie or by any other adult in his life. It was that look in Donny's eyes that didn't wash away, couldn't get explained off as this or that. It was as though Donny had peered into Jeremy's heart or soul, and seen what had gone on, and was not willing to see it go any further or get any worse. He made it pretty plain that night that he wasn't going to give up until Jeremy came out of the rain, no matter what. All the more reason, Jeremy thought. He had to leave. Donny was a nice guy, maybe one of the few Jeremy had ever met in his life. Yup. All the more reason, Jeremy thought. He couldn't just stick around and let his life flop around onto Donny's plate. It just wasn't fair, and he didn't have to let it happen that way. He could go. The phone rang and Jeremy jumped, clearly startled by the intrusion of sound into his otherwise quiet surrounds. He didn't know who it was, and so didn't pick up the phone. It went to recorder, and Jeremy listened to Donny's intro, and the beep.... "Hello? Jeremy? It's Donny. If you're around, pick up the phone. If not, ok, well I guess I'll talk to ya later if........" "Hello? Donny, it's Jeremy. I'm here." "Hi, just checking up and seeing how the block-party was going," Donny joked. Jeremy yawned audibly, "Well, the invitations aren't back from the printer yet. We may have to postpone until later." Donny didn't respond, but listened to see if Jeremy was going to say anything else. "Uh, yeah. Well, I'm ok I guess," Jeremy said. "I'm just trying to get my bearings on what to do next and stuff. Um, hey. Do you mind picking up another blanket from WalMart or whatever? Is that ok?" Donny was both happy and dejected at the same time. "Sure, no problem, I'll get it on the way home from work," he responded. "I'll try to keep this whole staying-with-ya thing short and not crash in on your life for too much longer than I've already done, Donny. Thanks for everything so far, really, I really appreciate it. But.....well," he paused, "we've both got stuff we need to do I think. So I'll try to make it short." Donny smiled to himself a bit, admiring the kid's humble manner. "Ok, I understand. No worries at this point. I'm willing to help and all, so don't sweat it or let it stress you or whatever. If it gets to any critical mass point, I'm sure we can both figure that out pretty quickly. Sound ok?" Donny asked. "Yeah, ok. Sure." "Cool." There was a bit of silence in which the uttered words settled, and made their way to their appropriate mental storage spots for further inspection. "Ok, now for a fairly important question," Donny sounded all serious. "Oh. Ok. What?" Jeremy asked. "Do you like fish and chips? I was thinking of going to the Fish Grotto out by the bay, they have pretty good fish and chips. I'd just come home and shower and then head out. Unless you have other plans or whatever..." "Oh no, no plans. But Donny, uh, you don't have to..." he started. "Yeah, I know, but I don't think my feeble mentality could stand it if I came home to a cooked meal two nights in a row," he joked. Jeremy laughed, disarmed once again by Donny's ability to comically state the obvious. "Sure, that'd be fine." "Okay, c'ya later," Donny said. "Okay, thanks," Jeremy said. Jeremy hung up and shook his head. Half of him wanted to stay and be with Donny, hang around him and hear his laugh, and well........ be part of his life. And the other half of him knew he should not drag Donny down, give him a plateful of problems and complicate both of their lives. So far, his reluctance in confronting the first choice led him to choosing the second one. He wasn't altogether sure of his reasoning, but he already seemed to be headed down path #2. ====================== Donny hung up the phone and proceeded with his day, systematically getting his work done, although a bit absently. He knew better than to just "get involved" with someone because the sex was good or because the boy was cute. That was typically a one-way ticket to heartache, because no matter how much you wanted it to be more, it (again, typically) wasn't. And if you tried to make it so, the rubber band eventually was stretched to its breaking point, or it snapped back. Either way was painful. He sighed. Boy, life just wasn't fair. In a perfect world, he should be able to keep this young boy around, give him a fresh start, and if things worked out ok between them, if there was an actual mutual desire, admiration, and compassion for each other, then the guy would stay. If not, he would stay for a bit, get on his feet, and get on with his life. No harm done, no love lost, each party knowing they'd done the right thing. Only Donny wasn't sure what the right thing was. He was a damned good judge of character, and could almost see a a person's aura or magnetic field or goodness or whatever you wanted to call it, in his mind. Only it wasn't a visual, it was a feeling. And that was sometimes the problem, because feelings can get confused with other ones, sometimes. But he knew what he saw in the boy's eyes, felt in his voice, heard in his mind. It's just that the beatings that life had given him made him shy away from a relationship or any seriousness until it practically hit him over the head. He just wasn't wired to go from guy to guy every few nights, just so he could have sex. It wasn't like that for him. Yeah, he was a boylover, alright. He thought boys were cuter than hell from a very early age onward, but that didn't mean sex or that he wanted to go fondle or sink the salami in every boy he saw who was cute. It just wasn't that way. ====================== Jeremy slept on the couch that night, and although both Donny and Jeremy were alright with that arrangement, they both felt funny about it at the same time. It was kind of obvious, but neither said much about it. Jeremy had tried once more to repair the situation with his aunt, but that went nowhere. She had no faintest measure of care that Jerermy even was alive, alright, or whatever. It looked like a ma-and-pa grocery store had decided to give Jeremy a job as a bag and stock boy, and he'd been talking with a friend of his about getting a one-room motel or hotel room to get themselves going. His friend had been street tricking, and Jeremy had talked him into getting a job at a local theater. Less money, but far fewer black eyes and other abuses. Donny had met him once; "Desi" was his nickname, apprently. Anyway, nice looking boy, probably a year younger than Jeremy, dreamy brown eyes and nice spikey hair. With the little theater shirt they gave him to wear, he was quite a looker. He was a boy who liked picking up older tricks because they paid more money for the younger boys, especially if they did whatever the men wanted. It was just that about every 3rd trick he got the crap beaten out of him, one way or another. Donny had been out a couple nights with some of his buds, shooting a game of pool here and there, basically doing his usual run of socializing. No big deal either way, just sorta a normal operating basis. Only, it wasn't, for either of them. Somehow, it all didn't seem fair, like two gears not entirely meshed together correctly.... He was back at his apartment, letting the evening slow down and going through his mail. "DONNY!" shrieked Jeremy as he burst into the apartment, the front door slamming into the wall hard enough to bounce back nearly shut. Donny heart went from a sedate 70 beats a minutes to probably somewhere in the hummingbird range in less than half a second. He couldn't get any words out fast enough, and as it was Jeremy beat him to it anyway. "You GOT to come quick," and Jeremy began to sob, "PLEASE help me. Please let's GO" .....and his sobs overcame him as he reached Donny's arm and gripped it with both hands. "WHAT?! What's happened!?" Donny nearly yelled, mortified. "It's Desi, he's ......." and he tried to talk, but could only pull on Donny's arm. And he weakened suddenly and almost sank to the floor. Donny quickly grabbed him, and could see that no matter what, speed was of the essence. "Let's go. Show me," he said, and Jeremy nodded and headed back out the door, out of breath from an apparent run from somewhere. They leaped into Donny's car, and Jeremy directed Donny about a mile away to an alley behind one of the local gay bars. And there was Desi. Laying on the ground. Crumpled. Bleeding. Jeremy was out of the car before it stopped, vaulting to his friend's side and kneeling beside him. It was obvious what had happened, it had happened too many times before, just never this badly. "Desi, it's me, Jeremy. I'm back. Wake up," and he lifted his friend's head up off the pavement. He was breathing, but Donny couldn't tell how well. He immediately flipped his cell phone on and dialed 911, giving the despatcher the best directions and explanation he could. They asked him to keep the phone open, and he said sure, but he sat the phone down as soon as he could and came to Jeremy's and Desi's side. He looked over at Jeremy who's face was streaked with tears, and then back at Desi. "Desi," Donny tried, "open your eyes, kid. I'm Donny, a friend of Jeremy's. We're both here for you. Try to open your eyes." Desi's eyes fluttered slightly, opened, then shut. Jeremy burst out crying, and yelled, "Fuck Desi, don't do this, don't do this!" Donny bent closer, and said, "Hey Desi. Open your eyes. It's important." His eyes opened, focusing on nothing at first, then seeing first Donny and then Jeremy. "Jeremy...." he said weakly, "I'm........" cough "sorry, I......." and his eyes rolled around once like he was in excruciating pain. "What, Desi, tell me," Jeremy said. With great effort, Desi shoved a hand into his front jeans pocket and pulled out a wad of money and handed it toward Jeremy. "...ours," he managed, "our apartment.........." and he coughed several times, eyes rolling and face grimacing. "Desi, you didn't....." Jeremy began, but Desi stopped him. He smiled slightly, "...well..." and he shrugged his shoulders slightly. "Sorry, I love you Jeremy, I....." and his eyes widened and he made a heavy muted, yet gutteral sound as his body arched up off the ground, and he collapsed back flat, eyes focusing into the air several feet above his body. All the air went out of him audibly, and he ceased to move for a moment. And then he continued breathing, but was unconscious. Jeremy took the bills from his hand, knowing what they were from, why Desi gave them to him, and that it was no good to argue. Jeremy stood up and in a fit of rage yelled "FUCK!" as loudly as he could and threw the wad of bills like a baseball, except they instantly fluttered to everywhere in the alley. "FUCK! SON OF A BITCH! DESI!" and he sank to his knees once again, facing away from his friend, amidst the many bills that now littered the ground. Jeremy, now silent, gathered he and his friend's cash off the alley pavement, stowing the bills away just as a police car screamed down the alley from one direction, and an ambulance from the other. Donny was checking Desi's breathing and pulse as the paramedics unloaded from the ambulance. Jeremy wanted to go with the paramedics, but the police were asking what happened, and I didn't know if Jeremy knew what had occurred or not, and I convinced Jeremy to answer their questions and then we'd go to the hospital, which was only about a mile away. As it turned out, Jeremy hadn't heard from his friend for a day, which was unusual, so he had gone down this alley looking to see if Desi was hanging here. It was the wrong time of the day for him to be hanging here, it was barely sundown. Tricks were better turned later in the night. >From the best that everyone could determine, Desi'd been missing or gone since the previous night. They made it to the hospital and let the ER nurse know who they were and why they were there, and it wasn't long before they got word that Desi had not revived yet. Jeremy visited him for a few moments, until the ER nurses and made him leave. He met Donny out in the waiting room. Jeremy came out and gave Donny a huge hug. "Thanks, Donny. I'm ok now. Well, I guess for the moment. Do you mind if we stay?" "As long as you like," Donny said. Desi was moved from the to a special observation room for patients in critical condition. He had more wires strung up to him than an astronaut. Jeremy and Donny talked for most of the night, the sun coming up in the morning to both of them snoozing in chairs outside of Desi's room. "I know life's not fair and all that shit, but Donny this one really sucks," Jeremy had said, "he loves me, like you know, for real. We'd talked about it and stuff. He knew I just wasn't into it, but we were best friends anyway. We just sorta overlooked the fact that he loved me and wanted me forever." "Only I don't think he can totally overlook it," Donny observed. "He's got a nice job now and is making steady money, and he still went out to make the big money so you guys could have a place sooner. My take on it, that is. I don't know what all that means, but that's how it kinda looks to me." "Yeah," Jeremy had said. He'd come to the same conclusion and dead-end that Donny had. "So you don't love him? He's a beautiful guy, and seems to be....I dunno. He had a good heart. And, he's your friend, which also speaks highly of him," Donny ventured. "He's my best friend, but it's just not that way with me. I don't love him like that. I'm not sure what love is supposed to be or when it passes over from 'like someone a lot' to love, but I never felt the desire to have sex with him or be with him like that. It wasn't that kind of attraction. I..." and Jeremy's voice trailed off like he had something else to say, but hadn't. "Ok. Got it," Donny responded, patting Jeremy on the arm. He wondered if perhaps there'd been someone else in Jeremy's life who'd filled that spot that kept Desi out, but it didn't seem like the right time to ask. And he wasn't sure how to ask, anyway, or even if he'd be right in asking the question. Then they'd fallen off to sleep. Donny called in to work and explained that even though it was Friday, he was not trying to just fake an ailment to get a three-day weekend. He briefly went over the events of the previous evening and what he'd gone through. They gave him the day off, no problem. It was time for breakfast. Donny tossed his car keys to Jeremy, "You have a license?" "Yeah. Where we going?" Jeremy asked. "Dunno," Donny smiled as he got up, "you're driving." Jeremy shook his head and smiled, and got up too. He peeked his head into Desi's room, watching his chest rise and fall, hearing the sound of the oxygen flowing as Desi breathed. He said he'd be right back. He knew Desi could hear him if only on some subconscious level. He'd know if he woke up that Jeremy would be back. Donny smiled, and cocked his head a little in acknowledgement. Some boys were beautiful. Some boys were smart. Some boys had heart, and rarely, some boys had a sixth sense about life was without having to live 50 years to figure it out. Even more rarely, by his observation, a very few had all those qualities.