Written by Mark The Goodpen
By now I'm sure you know the drill, so I won't bore you with another disclaimer to ignore.
Thank you to everyone who has e-mailed their feedback on this story. You're e-mails let me know I should keep the Sierra Inn in business.
Feedback is always welcome at email@example.com
I should have learned by now how not to get myself into situations like these, I have been doing it all of my life and have not seemed to have gotten it through my skull that at some point I am going to get burned. Luckily since I have been doing things like this all of my life I have a knack for wiggling myself off the hook.
"Melissa," I say, answering Jennifer's question with the first woman's name that comes to my mind, which actually the name of my cousin. "But ah she's out of town on business right now."
"You mean you're taking both boys on yourself?" she asks.
"Oh it's no problem," I say quickly.
"Well, you and Brian are still invited for that barbeque," Jennifer says.
"Well thank you," I say. "What time should we be here?"
"Does about four work for you?" Jennifer asks.
"Yeah," I say, nodding my head. "We'll be here."
"Good, then I'll see you tomorrow," she says with a smile.
"Okay," I say returning her smile, before heading back to the car.
On the way to the Sierra Inn I feel like a hired driver as Brian has moved to the back seat to sit next to his friend. They talk in a low whisper most of the way, I try to strain my ears to hear what they are talking about. My paranoia making me believe they are talking about me, especially since I keep hearing giggling. When we get to the Sierra Inn, I get the boy's skateboards and helmets out of the trunk and we walk together into the lobby. Laura and Matt are standing behind the front desk, and I am kind of surprised when I see both of them smiling.
"Hey you guys," Laura says. "So tonight is the big sleepover?"
"Yep," I say, nodding my head. "Ethan, this is Laura."
"Hi Ethan," Laura says with a smile.
"Hi," Ethan, who is standing next to Brian, his board under his arm, and his hand loosely holding his helmet, says in a very relaxed tone.
"And Brian this is my best friend Matt," I say, pointing to Matt.
"What's up Brian," Matt says. "Nice to finally meet you."
"Hi," Brian says, shyly as he clutches his skateboard to his chest almost like it is his favorite teddy bear. He's wearing his helmet, his brown hair sticking out from underneath since we were never able to get him that haircut we had talked about.
"So Brian you want to show Ethan your skate park?" I ask, after a moment of awkward silence.
"Yeah," Brian says, softly.
"Okay let's go," I say.
Brian leads his friend and I to the back of the motel, where he has set up various left over scraps from construction into obstacles and rails he can actually skate on or over. He wanted to turn an old wooden board and a crate into a ramp but I would not let him. And I figure the stuff he has set up, can't kill him.
"Dude, you weren't lying," Ethan says, impressed even with the lack of a ramp.
"I told you," Brian says, a smile spreading across his face.
Brian and Ethan both immediately drop their boards and start skating around, I move the old crate Brian wanted to use as a ramp support over to side of the building taking a seat as I watch the two trying to do tricks. It's my first chance to really stop and think about what happened last night. I still can't believe what Brian was willing to put himself through just to make me happy. The act is obviously something he has very bad memories associated with. And as much as I long to feel that type of closeness with him, I won't dare go further than he is truly comfortable with. Maybe someday he will be willing to go to that next level with me, but for now I'll be satisfied with what he is comfortable with. In a lot of ways I feel even that, is asking too much.
"He seems shy," Matt says, waking me from my thoughts as he takes a seat on the ground next to me.
"Yeah, well he's been through a lot," I say, as I watch my angel gliding around the back area of the motel on his skateboard, like he owns the place.
"I'm sure he has," Matt says. "Can't be easy on either of you, I mean I've heard stories of what foster care is like. I'm sure he still has problems from it."
"It's a long story," I say, not taking my eyes off of Brian. "He just has had a lot on his plate."
"You know, Kevin I didn't really get you when you told me you had a foster kid," Matt says. "I mean why you would want to take a kid in, out of the blue like that."
"I don't know if I can explain it," I say, honestly.
"Well I think I get it now," Matt says.
"You do?" I ask.
"Yeah," Matt says. "I mean Brian has this look in his eyes, like he's seen hell. You know? I don't think I could have turned my back on that either, to be honest."
"You see that too?" I ask. "I thought it was just me."
"No, I saw it," Matt says. "I don't get looked at like I'm a monster too often. But I can tell when it happens."
"Yeah well, trust isn't something he hands out easily," I say. "I don't think it ever will be."
"I guess what I'm really getting at is," Matt says. "If there is anything I can ever do, to help you adopt him, you know with the courts or something I'm there for you man."
"Thanks," I say, a small smile coming to my face. "I appreciate that."
"Just don't ask me to babysit," Matt says.
"Bro, he's almost twelve, I don't think you need to worry about that," I say, with a chuckle.
"Oh, so he's out of diapers then?" Matt asks, a smirk spreading across his face.
"Dude, you still don't have a clue," I say with laugh as I shake my head.
Matt and I watch Brian and Ethan skate for a while longer before Matt goes back inside the lobby. I sit and watch, the two skaters trying to do tricks they are clearly incapable of completing but having the time of their lives none the less. My mind wanders back to the scene in the lobby, how relaxed Ethan was with three virtual strangers around, and how tense Brian was with just one person he does not know in the room. I guess that is what living the life Brian has will do to you.
The sun starting to set is the only thing that stops the boys from skating. We head back to the car and I start driving to a pizza place down the street from the motel. I give Brian money for him and Ethan to play the video games they have sitting along the wall as we wait for our pizza. I sit alone at the table, watching the college basketball game playing on the television suspended from the ceiling.
"Excuse me," a man's voice shakes me from the game. I look over to the man standing at the end of my table. He has to be pushing sixty, his graying hair is thinning on top, and a beer belly protrudes over his belt. "Are you with that brown haired boy over there?" he asks, pointing to Brian, who has his back to us as he tries to shoot the screen version of his friend.
"Yes I am," I say. "Did he do something wrong?"
"No, no, not at all," the man says. "Are you his father?"
"Yeah," I say, suspiciously.
"I must have gotten him confused for someone else," the man says.
"Who were you thinking he was?" I ask.
"Well you see I live in the neighborhood, been here for years since before it went to hell," the man says. "But I see the runaways, I try to help the ones that will let me. And about a month ago, I ran across one that looks remarkably like your boy. I remember because he was so young. It broke my heart. I've looked for him since but, I haven't seen him."
"Did you get his name?" I asked.
"Yeah," the man says. "Brian. I saw him when I was taking my afternoon walk up 12th street. He was standing outside an abandoned warehouse. I started talking to him, it took me awhile but I finally pried his name out of him. But just when I was about to offer him help, this older kid, maybe sixteen or seventeen came out of nowhere and said to get away from his little brother. Then a couple weeks ago the older kid turns up dead, apparently he owed some druggies money and wasn't able to pay up. I shutter to think what happened to the younger one."
"Have a seat," I say, slowly. I am unsure of the right thing to do, but the man does seem like he genuinely cares, and I feel like I owe him the knowledge that the kid he has supposedly spent the last month searching for is safe.
"Oh I don't mean to bother you," he says, waving his hand. "It's just your son..."
"He's my foster son," I say. "His name is Brian."
"Well I'll be," the man says turning around, to take another look at Brian who has his back turned still. "I'm so glad he's safe now and off the streets. How did he wind up with you?"
"I own the Sierra Inn, down the street," I say. "He wound up in front of my motel a couple of weeks ago, and well I decided to take him in."
"Well that was a very nice thing of you to do," the man says, still standing at the end of the booth. "Can I say hello to him?"
"Well I would let you," I say, slowly. "But you see he's with a friend from school, and I don't think..."
"I understand," the man interrupts. "Here," he says reaching into his shirt pocket and pulling out a brown business card. "This is my phone number, if you're free for lunch sometime give me a call. I'd love to learn more about Brian. The name's Sam," he says holding out his hand.
"Kevin," I say, shaking his hand.
"Well Kevin, they should give you a medal, as far as I'm concerned," Sam says. "It was an absolute pleasure to meet you."
"Same here," I say, giving the man a smile before he walks away.
I had been expecting to get Brian's story in bits and pieces, but I was expecting those bits and pieces to come from Brian. Now that a total stranger has given me a piece of the puzzle it feels a little strange. I figure Brian probably does not even know what happened to the kid that was pimping him. I'm not even sure he would care. Maybe I should feel bad for what happened to him, but I don't. In away I think that kid got exactly what he deserved.
Brian and Ethan coming back to the table shake me from my thoughts. Apparently twenty dollars does not buy as many games as it used to. They sit next to each other on the opposite side of the table from me. Brian sitting right across from me, as Ethan sits on the inside of the bench. As we sit silently waiting for the pizza to come, Brian suddenly gives me a smirk. It is the same smirk that is usually reserved for the bedroom, and I wonder what he could possibly up to. I quickly decide he was just smiling at me, and I'm just letting myself see what I want to see and not what is actually there.
The pizza comes, and is devoured in record time before we head back to the apartment. Ethan drops his backpack in Brian's room and then comes back into the living room, while Brian is in the bathroom.
"So Ethan," I say as I sit next to him on the couch. "Do you like cartoons?"
"Yeah," Ethan says.
"Cool," I say. "That's what I thought. Sponge Bob?"
"Yeah," Ethan nods again.
"So there's something else you have in common with Brian," I say, as I turn on the T.V.
"We both like basketball too," Ethan says.
"Right," I say, remembering Brian telling me that Ethan was going out for the basketball team as well.
"Kevin," Ethan says, shyly. "Where is your wedding ring?"
"What?" I ask, surprised by the question.
"You don't have a wedding ring like my Dad," Ethan says. "Why?"
"Um..." I try to stumble for an explanation.
"And Brian never talks about his Mom," Ethan says. "Is she dead or something?"
"Well Ethan, what has Brian told you about his life?" I ask.
"Not much, he's told me about you," Ethan says. "But that's it. He doesn't have a Mom does he?"
Just then Brian appears from the hallway, the look of concern on his face making it very clear he has heard his friends' question. I do not know what to say, or do at the moment, as my mind begins to race.
"I did have a Mom," Brian says, quickly. "But she died."
"Oh," Ethan says somewhat plainly. "Is that why you don't wear a ring?" he asks me.
"Kevin's my Dad number two," Brian says, coming over to the couch, a little smile coming to his face as he looks at me.
"Dad number two?" Ethan asks, a confused look on his face.
"You see Ethan," I say, slowly. "Brian's real parents couldn't take care of him anymore so now he lives with me."
"Oh," Ethan says. "Cool. But I thought my Mom said..."
"Ethan, I didn't want to tell you're Mom about Brian's real parents until I knew Brian was okay with it. So she thinks that I'm Brian's real Dad and I'm married to his Mom who is still alive," I say, lying through my teeth, but at least making it sound good.
"So you're playing a trick on her?" Ethan asks.
"No, not really," I say, even though that is how I got myself into this mess in the first place. "I'm just making sure I don't tell any of Brian's secrets."
"Oh," Ethan says. "Brian do you want to keep it a secret still?"
"Yeah," Brian says softly.
"Okay, I can keep a secret," Ethan says, a small smile spreading across his face.
"Thanks," Brian says.
"Yeah thank you Ethan," I say, probably more relieved than Brian is. "So what do you guys want to do?"
"Can we watch a movie?" Brian asks.
"Well let's see what's on," I say, turning my attention back to the television.
After some channel surfing I manage to find a horror movie, and I allow Brian and Ethan to stay up past midnight to watch it.
"Was that real?" Ethan, who is laying on the floor in front of the couch on his stomach asks me after the movie, as he cranes his neck around to look at me as I sit on the couch.
"No," I say, quickly thinking that maybe "Blair Witch Project" wasn't the best movie to watch right before bedtime. "It wasn't real."
"That was cool," Brian, who is sitting Indian style on the floor next to Ethan, says with a smile. "Is there another one on?"
"Not for us," I say, as I reach for the remote and shut the television. "It's after midnight, time to hit the sack."
The argument I had been expecting never comes as both Ethan and Brian quickly get up off the floor. Ethan heads for the hallway, but Brian comes over to me as I am still sitting on the couch.
"Goodnight Dad," he says as he wraps his arms around me.
"Goodnight, kiddo," I say, wrapping him in a tight hug. "Now you two promise to actually sleep tonight right?"
"We will," Ethan pipes up, as he is still standing near the hall.
My bedroom seems empty without Brian in it. I had tried to prepare myself for tonight as I knew Brian would be sleeping in his room, but I did not expect the type of emptiness that hit me. I lay in bed just staring at the ceiling. Up until Brian showed up I had assumed that this would be the way I would go to sleep for the rest of my life. I had one night stands plenty of times with guys I would meet online, they would never stay here or I would never stay there. They were so empty, so meaningless, so totally void of emotion. Then Brian came, he changed my whole way of thinking. I had never shared my bed with anyone over night, those one night stands being more like one hour stands. But now I have gotten used to having Brian curled up next to me, more times than not his head resting on my chest as he sleeps in my arms. I find myself wishing I had not agreed to this sleepover, just so I would not have to go a night without holding Brian.
After I console myself with the thought that it is only for one night, and I will be able to survive just one night with Brian across the hall I roll onto my side and try to go to sleep. My mind is spinning so fast with all that has happened in the last twenty four or so hours that sleep is near impossible. Last night, with Brian offering himself to me the way he did, Sam at the pizza place my mind just doesn't know where to begin. I can't decide which was more surprising. After last week and the way Brian ran out of the room I never thought he would actually offer anything like that. But then meeting a random guy in a pizza place who says he knows your foster son from the street is not an everyday occurrence either. I can not help but wonder if Sam was even telling the truth, for all I know he could have been feeding me a line. I mean he knew Brian's name but maybe Sam was one of the men that paid for Brian. I think about asking Brian about it but quickly decide not to. I have decided if Brian is going to talk about his time on the streets it is going to be on his terms, which means I ask no questions.
I must fall asleep with out even realizing it because the next thing I know the sun is coming in through the window, and right onto my face. I do my usual wake up routine, yawn, stretch and scratch before slowly opening my door. The door to Brian's room is opened slightly, just as I had left it last night, so I grab some clothes from my closet and quickly duck into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me before going to turn on the shower. Just as I am letting my boxers fall to the ground the door opens, and a sleepy Brian comes in shutting the door behind him.
"Good morning angel," I say.
"Good morning Daddy," he says, I think letting the word slip in his sleepy state.
"Angel, we can't do anything now, not with your friend here," I say, getting a little nervous that Ethan may not be too far behind in waking up.
"I gotta pee," he says, still half asleep.
"Oh," I say, a little embarrassed by my misinterpretation. "Go ahead," I add, before getting into the shower.
I duck my head under the spray of the shower closing my eyes and just letting the warm water rush over me for a couple of minutes. When I finally do come back out I hear the toilet finishing it's flush. I wait to hear the door open, but instead the shower curtain is pulled back and a now naked Brian gets nonchalantly steps into the tub, replacing the shower curtain behind him.
"Brian, we really shouldn't be..."
I am interrupted mid sentence as Brian comes over to me, as I stand in front of the spray and wraps his arms around me, digging his face into the top of my stomach. I can't help but wrap my arms around him, as I spent last night missing feeling him there so much. But I am still worried that Ethan could be awake even as we stand in the tub.
"I love you Dad," Brian says, as he looks up into my face his arms still wrapped tightly around my waist.
"I love you too angel," I say. "I missed you last night."
"Me too," he says. "I don't think I want to have anymore sleepovers."
I can't help but smile a little at Brian's comment. We stand there for a couple of minutes before Brian wiggles free of the embrace, though this was the longest he's allowed himself to be hugged. We wash each other quickly, as I make sure not too linger too long with Ethan just down the hall. After we get out of the tub I get dressed quickly while Brian is brushing his teeth and dart out of the bathroom. I am relieved when I take a quick peak into Brian's room and find Ethan still in his sleeping bag on the floor next to Brian's bed fast asleep.
Ethan does wake up soon, I make the boys breakfast then Brian sets up the laptop and the two of them spend the rest of the morning playing Brian's computer games. Early in the afternoon I take them to the skate park until it is time to head to Ethan's house. Ethan leads us to the front door of the two story house, with the desert landscaped front yard, with me holding his backpack, skateboard and helmet.
"Hi honey," Jennifer says to Ethan as she meets us at the door.
"Hi Mom," he says.
"So did you guys have fun?" she asks, as Brian and I follow Ethan into the foyer.
"Yeah," Ethan answers quickly.
Ethan quickly pulls Brian off to show him his room. Jennifer introduces me to her husband, Adam and we sit in the living room making small talk for the longest time. Adam is a computer programmer working for a company who has an office not to far from this house. Jennifer is a stay at home Mom, even though Ethan is there only son. When the conversation turns to me, and my fictional wife I suddenly feel guilt. I had started playing the trick on Jennifer when I thought she was just some nosy mother at the park. But now I feel like I should tell her the truth, though I stop myself remembering last night when Brian had said he wants to keep the truth a secret. I am able to successfully dodge their questions, and soon we move outside to eat, Brian and Ethan apparently being drawn down stairs by the smell of food.
Brian and I end up getting back to our apartment a little before nine. Brian is silent on the way home, but it is a comfortable silence. My mind is still spinning with all that has happened in the last couple of days, between Brian on Thursday night and Sam at the pizza place last night. When Brian and I finally do get back to the apartment we sit on the couch and start to watch television.
"Brian, I need to ask you something," I say, slowly as his show goes to commercial. "If you don't want to answer it you don't have to okay?"
"Okay," he says, slowly as he looks right into my eyes.
"Last night when we were at the pizza place while you were playing video games, an older man came over to me," I say, a little nervous about how Brian is going to react. "He said that you looked like a boy he had seen on the streets sometime last month. He said he tried to help you..."
"Sam?" Brian asks, cutting me off before I can even get to my question.
"You remember him?" I ask.
"Yeah," Brian says, quickly. "He tried to help me, but that kid made him go away."
"Brian did that kid call you his little brother?" I ask.
"Yeah," Brian says, now looking down at his feet.
"Was he your brother?" I ask.
"No," Brian says, shaking his head. "I met him the night I ran away from the foster home. But anytime somebody would ask he said he was my brother."
"Would you want to see Sam again?" I ask, thinking that there was more than one positive encounter between the two even though neither of them had said that is the case.
"Yeah," Brian says, a small smile coming to his face. "He was really nice to me."
"Okay, well I have his number," I say. "Why don't I invite him over next weekend?"
"Cool!" Brian says, the smile growing wider on his face.
We fall silent after that, just watching television, Brian eventually laying his head on my lap as he lays down on the couch. A little before eleven we start to get ready for bed, I let Brian use the bathroom first before taking my turn. When I get into the bedroom, Brian is laying underneath the covers, his hands behind his head on the pillow as he is watching the doorway. I can't help but smile as I climb into bed, I missed Brian so much last night, but now I feel he is right back where he belongs.
When I am underneath the covers Brian cuddles up next to me, resting his head on my chest. I give him a gentle kiss on top of his head, as I wrap my arm around his bare shoulders.
"Dad," he says, his face still pointed towards my feet.
"Yeah angel," I say, staring up at the ceiling.
"Why didn't you do anything Thursday night?" he asks.
"Angel, I told you," I say, gently. "Remember? You don't have to do anything to prove that you love me because I already know that you do."
"I know," Brian says, still staring down at my feet. "But why didn't you do it? I thought you wanted to."
"Brian scoot up here," I say, patting the pillow next to my face. I turn on my side and after Brian scoots up a little, we are face to face. "I want to be very close to you, and I thought that was a good way to be very close to you. But you see, when I was getting ready to do it, I saw you were scared. And when I saw you were scared it made my heart hurt."
"It did?" Brian asks. "Why?"
"Because I love you so much," I say, trying to keep the lump in my throat from turning into tears. "It hurt me to see you afraid, like that."
"I love you, Dad," Brian says, a small smile coming to his face.
"I love you too angel," I say, smiling back at him.
Without another word Brian slowly brings his face forward and soon I feel his lips against mine. I gently wrap my arm around him and bring him closer to me, as our tongues start to dance in his mouth. I hear him moan into my mouth as his bare erection is pressed into my stomach.
"Lay on your back," I whisper, as I hesitantly break the kiss.
Brian quickly turns so he is laying on his back. I push the covers down exposing his naked body down to his knees. He gives a little shiver as the cooler air hits his bare skin. I lay on my side, my head propped up with one arm I gently take Brian's throbbing erection in between my pointer finger and thumb of my other hand and start slowly masturbating him. I watch Brian's face as his eyes shut, and moth opens. I continue masturbating him gently as his hips start to buck up towards the ceiling in an attempt to get me to go faster.
After a few minutes of masturbating him gently, I move my hand down to his leg, and push ever so slightly on the outside of his thigh. A questioning look comes over his face as his eyes open and he looks right at me. I smile at him, and give another push at the outside of his thigh. He gets the idea and starts to roll over, but I stop him when he is laying on his side facing away from me. I slowly push my hand in between his thighs, palm up. And with a little extra push Brian lifts his top leg ever so slightly into the air. It is just enough for me to insert my penis, in between his thighs until I feel his balls pressing on the head of my penis. I take my hand away from his leg and he lets it drop back down so now my penis is trapped tightly in between his thighs. I lean my face down and gently start kissing his neck as I start to slowly pull my penis back so only the tip of the head remains in between his thighs. When I gently push back in I feel the head of my penis once again pushing against his balls. On my next retreat, I take my face away from Brian's neck and put my pointer finger and thumb in my mouth getting them nice and wet. When my hips thrust forward again I reach down with my top hand and place my wet fingers on Brian's erection, waiting until my next retreat to start masturbating him.
Brian groans loudly as I start to masturbate him, at the same pace my penis is pushing in between his legs the entire time brushing his perineum and at the hilt pushing up on his balls. The heat on my penis is enough to make me see stars, and I soon start to buck my hips as fast as I can, at the same time furiously jacking Brian's penis.
"Ahhhh," Brian suddenly gasps, as I feel his legs tense around my penis, his butt pushing into my pelvis and his penis jerking violently in between my fingers as I his dry orgasm over takes him.
The tension from his thighs is enough to send me over the edge, as soon I feel my balls draw up closer to my body and my penis begins shooting soaking the insides of Brian's thighs as well as the sheets on the other side of him. My head falls to the bed, right behind Brian's and we lay there both panting, my penis still trapped in between Brian's legs my fingers still holding his still hard penis. When I feel my strength returning I slowly lift my head up and gently kiss Brian on the cheek. I am somehow able to pull the covers back up without disengaging my penis from in between Brian's legs, and by the time I reach down to give him another kiss on the cheek I can tell he already has fallen asleep.
"Goodnight Angel," I whisper softly.
To Be Continued...
Authors Note: After a lot of re-dos the first chapter of my next story entitled "Wanting Perfection" is finally ready to be posted. I will be submitting it before the weekend.
A second note, for some reason I have been having trouble from time to time sending e-mails to yahoo accounts. If you have a yahoo account and do not hear back from me, with in a couple of days please know that I am trying to respond.
Chapter 19 Coming Soon!!!