Written by Mark The Goodpen
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If this situation was happening to anyone else I would find it comical, but since it is happening to me I do not find any humor in it whatsoever. My first semi wet dream in I don't know how long and it had to happen with the object of my dream resting on my lap. I am a little relieved, though that Brian finds the entire thing comical as he is now sitting up and giggling his head off as I try to think of an answer to his question about what I was dreaming of. Obviously I can't tell him the truth, since he was what I was dreaming about. I don't want to scare him off, not when he is obviously becoming so comfortable with me.
"Sorry about that," I say, trying to regain my composure. "Happens sometimes, I hope I didn't scare you," I say even though it's very apparent Brian is not scared.
"It happens to me too," he says, his giggling finally stopping. "Like when I have a good dream."
"Yeah," I say wanting to avoid the topic of a dream. "Well we better get to sleep, we have a long day tomorrow and I have to wake up early to pick up the U-haul."
"Kevin," Brian says, suddenly.
"Yeah," I say.
"What were you dreaming about?" Brian asks.
"Things you don't need to hear about," I say quickly, but I see a look of hurt come across Brian's face and I quickly regret my word choice. "Brian, there are certain things we like to keep to ourselves. You know that right?"
"Yeah," he says nodding his head slightly.
"Well the dream I had just now is one of those things I'd like to keep to myself," I say. I silently applaud myself for the tactfulness I have suddenly discovered.
"Were you dreaming about me?" Brian asks, turning my silent applause into groans of displeasure.
"Brian, I don't think..."
"It's okay if you were," Brian interrupts me before I can finish my sentence. "I mean I'm kind of used to it."
"What do you mean you're used to it?" I ask, confused by the statement.
"The way guys would look at me, when I was on the streets," Brian says. "I didn't get it at first, but after awhile I could tell what they wanted."
"Brian I'm not like the guys you met when you were on the streets."
As the words are coming out of my mouth I'm realizing how similar this conversation is to my dream. I have to subtly pinch my arm to make sure that this time I'm actually awake, which thanks to the pinch I know that I am.
"I know you're not," Brian says. "Because you haven't made me do anything like that yet. That's all the other guys wanted. But sometimes you have the same look they did."
"Brian I..." suddenly I am at a loss for words. Before this week I didn't even know such a thing could happen to me, I was always a sweet talker. But ever since I met Brian, the right things to say seem a lot harder to find.
"It's okay," Brian says. "It kind of made me trust you more. Because you look like that but you don't make me do anything."
The irony of my situation suddenly hits me right in the face. All week I have been killing myself to make sure Brian would start to trust me. And the whole time I was building his trust by perving on him and not acting on it.
"Brian I will never make you do anything you don't want to do," I say. "That is a promise. And if you don't feel comfortable around me, I understand but you have to tell me now. Because I want to adopt you, which means we will be together for a very long time and you need to feel absolutely comfortable with me."
"I do feel comfortable with you," Brian says. "Even when you look at me funny."
I try replaying the last few days in my head, trying to think of times when I caught myself staring at Brian. Then I remember Tuesday morning, the first time I got a real good look at him. And every time he's fallen asleep on the couch of my office, or at night when he's sleeping in bed. Maybe a couple of those times he wasn't really asleep.
"Brian, I am truly sorry," I say, feeling like I owe him an apology. "I care about you, a lot more than those types of looks would suggest."
"I know," Brian says.
An awkward silence falls over us as I run out of things to say and apparently Brian does too. I think the television is still on but to be honest I'm not sure. I sit there just staring at Brian who is staring right back at me. Suddenly, just like in my dream I feel an urge to touch Brian. So I gently cup his right cheek in my hand, lightly running my thumb over his high cheek bone. For a second I'm afraid he will pull away but he doesn't.
"You know, Brian, I care about you a lot," I say. "A lot more than I thought was possible within a week of knowing you."
"You do?" he asks.
"Yeah, I do," I say, with his cheek still in my hand.
"Cool," he says.
We fall silent again and my hand stays on his face. I look into his eyes, and find that he is looking right back at me. It is at this moment I know for a fact that tonight, we are going to cross that line. I slowly lower my head, moving my hand from Brian's cheek and start running my fingers through his hair. Just as my hand reaches the back of his head our lips meet. Again I wait a second, giving him permission to pull away. But again he doesn't, instead I feel him push into the kiss, and his lips separate. In reality Brian is a better kisser than he was in my dream. Still not a professional, mind you, but he definitely has an idea about what he is doing. Slowly, ever so cautiously I allow my tongue to slip out of my mouth and enter Brian's. In the past I always thought French kissing was disgusting, but now I feel like my tongue belongs just where it is. And where it is, is in Brian's mouth having a duel with his tongue. I hear a soft moan escape from Brian's lips and that makes me moan loudly. His breath tastes of potato chips and Big Mac, but I love it.
While we linger in our kiss, my hand moves down Brian's back and I slowly start to rub up and down his spine. Suddenly, he breaks the kiss, startling me and I think we're finished. Instead, Brian moves onto my lap, both of his legs on one side of mine, he turns his head and reaches his face to mine. We kiss again, deeper and more passionately this time than before. Suddenly I feel a sense of urgency, not for my own release, but to give him that release. I ever so carefully sit up on the couch more, and scoot my butt to the end of the cushion, without once breaking the kiss. I slowly move one arm under Brain's knees and hook my hand to hold his legs together. My other arm reaches behind his back as I carefully standup as Brian wraps his arms around my neck and I start walking to the bedroom.
When we reach the bedroom I gently place Brian on the bed, sitting up. I break the kiss and quickly grab the bottom of his t-shirt, taking it by the seams and lifting it over his head and off his shoulders then throwing it behind me. I look down at his bare chest and stomach. His torso is a milky white color, and so soft looking, on his chest two small, pink nubs are poking out, ever so slightly. I get down on my knees and slowly lower my head and take his right nipple into my mouth while letting my right hand wander up and toy with his left nipple. I suck on the right one, gently and when my tongue takes its first swipe at the exposed flesh Brian lets out another moan, and I feel his body tense as he pushes his chest more towards my mouth. He tastes just perfect, maybe not exactly fresh after a long day but still clean and I even can taste just a hint of the Irish Spring soap from my bathroom still lingering on his chest. I continue licking for what seems like an eternity but in reality is probably only a couple of minutes. I only stop when my jaw becomes uncomfortable. Slowly I lift my head and look up, Brian has his head tilted back and his eyes closed. When he feels my tongue bath coming to an end he looks at me. We join again in another long passionate kiss. This time my hands run over Brian's jean covered thighs. Up and down they go messaging his solid legs, each time going higher and higher until my right hand reaches his crotch. I feel his little hard on pressing against the fabric of his jeans, I feel him moan into my mouth. I rub my hand over the stretched material of his jeans as I break our kiss and slowly move my mouth over his right ear and ever so gently start licking.
"Looks like I'm not the only one with a boner," I whisper right into his ear, I get a half giggle half moan in response. "Can I see it?" I ask as I pull my face away from Brian's and look right into his eyes.
He quickly nods his head yes. My hands slowly undo his jeans, the top button first then slowly brining the zipper down to expose the white fabric of his briefs.
"Stand up," I whisper softly, scooting back some to allow him room to follow my instruction.
When he does stand I am at eye level with his chest, and again I bathe his right nipple with my tongue as I let my hands message his thighs again. This time a louder moan escapes from Brian's mouth. I slowly pull my face from his chest, allowing my hands to go up to the waist of his jeans. With a slight tug they fall to his ankles, and he quickly steps out of them. I let my hands wander over his shapely calves, up his firm, smooth as silk thighs and over his bubbly cotton covered butt until my fingers hook into the waist band of his briefs. I slowly draw the front of his briefs down exposing a very stiff, circumcised penis. With both hands I bring his underwear down his legs to his feet and he quickly steps out of them. I run my hands back up his legs until again they are at his now naked crotch.
Now that he is naked, I realize that the only hair Brian has is on the top of his head. I gently grab his three inch hard-on with my right hand and begin to gently stroke it as he stands in front of me. I look up into his eyes and see him staring back at me. When I look into his eyes I see a look of comfort, of pleasure I have not yet seen from him. I take this look as permission to do what I want. My other hand rises from my side, and while still stroking his stiffness with my right, my left hand cups his sac, which is pulled up towards his body. I give his two almond sized balls a gentle squeeze as I watch his face and his mouth opening a little. While still working his genitals with my hands I reach up with my face and once again kiss him on the lips, letting my tongue slowly slip into his mouth. As we kiss I move my hands up his body until they are under his arms. I break our kiss and stand up. Carefully I lift Brian by his underarms and place him back on the bed, this time he lays in the middle. I get on the bed next to him and immediately duck my head into his groin. I inhale taking in his smell, which makes my eyes roll back slightly. I slowly put my mouth right above his stiff penis and blow a long stream of air on it, making his body quiver. After the stream of air ends I open my mouth and lower my head, feeling the hot flesh slide over my tongue until my nose is pressed against his pubic bone. I let my tongue slowly swirl around the new steely hardness in my mouth.
I work my mouth over Brian's stiffness, raising up so only the flared head is still in my mouth, working my tongue back and forth over the tiny opening at the top before sliding my mouth all the way back down. As I continue giving Brian pleasure with my mouth I look up with my eyes and see him lying back staring at the ceiling. All of a sudden I feel his hips start to pump just slightly, on one of his upward thrusts I reach my right hand underneath him and place it right in the center of his butt. Each time he goes back down to the bed I press up on his butt with my hand as encouragement to him to keep the motion going and soon he is fucking my mouth. I reach up with my left hand and place it on his chest, and start playing with his right nipple. Suddenly I feel his body start to stiffen, one more hard upward thrust and I feel his penis twitch hard in my mouth several times as it tries to spit out, as of yet, non existent fluid. I feel his butt cheeks tighten in my hand, and I give them a gentle squeeze. Then just as quickly as the twitches start, they end and Brian's hips fall back to the bed.
I take my mouth off of his penis, and kiss my way back up his torso, when I reach his face I see he is in an orgasm induced sleep. I gently move him to the head of the bed, and cover him, before giving him a kiss on the forehead.
"Goodnight, angel," I whisper, before kissing him one more time on the lips.
I quickly make my way into the bathroom, yank down my pants and jack myself off furiously while replaying what has just happened in my mind. After a mind blowing orgasm, and a massive clean up, my mind starts to spin. What have I done? Then after a second of utter panic I realize how right every second of it felt and how comfortable Brian seemed with it all. I change into my sleeping clothes and go back into the bedroom, gently slipping into bed beside my still sleeping angel. He is sleeping on his side facing me, and I gently wrap my arms around him. He quickly snuggles into my chest, even though he is still seemingly asleep. I kiss the top of his head, and close my eyes.
"I love you, Kevin" I hear him say, and my right eye quickly shoots open. Behind his back I pinch my left arm with my right hand and it hurts. So I know I'm not dreaming.
"I love you too," I say. I close my eyes as a smile spreads across my face and I quickly fall asleep.
The sun coming in through the window next to the bed wakes me up in the morning. I glaze down and see Brian still in my arms but now turned the other way so we are now in a spooning position. I look at the nightstand to see what time it is but remember I already packed my alarm clock. But since the sun is already up, I know it is time to wake up.
"Hey sleepy head, time to wake up," I whisper in Brian's ear before giving him a kiss on the top of his head.
"Five more minutes," he says, as he rolls over and snuggles into my chest again.
"I wish we could, angel but today's a big day," I say.
"Alright," he says, as he slowly opens his eyes.
I sit up and push the covers off the bed to help Brian expedite waking up a little faster. Doing this quickly reveals, Brian's naked body, still lying on his side as he tries to steal a couple extra seconds of sleep. I get the urge to start touching him again, and if today wasn't our moving day I would do it too. But my responsible side kicks my hormones out and once again I try to get Brian started.
"Hey kiddo, you're still not moving," I say.
"I'm going, I'm going," he says as he slowly rolls out of bed, before heading into the bathroom. With the way he was acting I wonder if he even noticed his state of undress.
While Brian is in the shower I start stripping the sheets off the bed when suddenly there is a knock at the front door.
"Who is it?" I ask as I walk into the living room.
"It's us," I hear my Dad's voice call from the other side of the door.
In a semi state of shock I open the door, and find my Mom and Dad standing outside.
"Surprised?" my Mom asks when she sees my face.
"Well, yeah a little bit," I say.
"Well you weren't expecting to move all by yourself were you?" she asks. "How were you going to get your furniture out of here?"
"I was going to ask my neighbor," I say. "But this will be better, come on in."
My parents come into the living room and I shut the door. My Mom quickly starts helping me pack some remaining items in the living room, while my Dad starts unplugging the television and wrapping some old sheets around it. Suddenly I hear the shower stop running and realize that Brian had gone into the bathroom without any clothes.
"Thank you Mom and Dad for helping me," I say, loudly enough so Brian can hear me from the bathroom.
"Kevin, we're not deaf yet," my Dad says.
"Sorry," I say trying to make it seem almost like an accident.
"Kevin!" I hear Brian call from the bathroom, which I had kind of suspected would be coming. "Can you help me?"
"I'll be right there," I say, before quickly ducking down the hall and into the bathroom to get some clothes for Brian before knocking on the bathroom door.
Brian opens the door, standing with his towel wrapped around his waist. I hand him his clothes and he gives me a thankful look in return before quickly closing the door. I head back to the living room, and begin to pack again. My mind quickly begins racing as last night plays itself out in my head again. I think I should be feeling guilty as hell, but I'm not. And I probably would be if it hadn't been for Brian saying he loves me. It's funny how two little words can change so much. Instead of feeling like absolute shit about myself I'm extremely close to floating on cloud nine. I know love isn't something Brian would put out on the table unless he really means it. Somebody that comes from the type of life he's had would have to be reserved about showing emotion.
Our relationship, obviously, has come along way in just a few short days. Brian is no longer that little huddled mass of boy I found on the curb in front of my motel on Monday night. I don't even see him as a scared little boy anymore. Now he's become something more, something so much more. I don't know how to describe him, at least not in away that would be acceptable. After last night I would have a hard time considering him my son. Though, now more than ever, that's what I'm hoping to make him in the eyes of the law. I also have trouble considering him a lover. He's so much more than that to me. I know what I've wanted to be to him from the start. I've wanted to be somebody he could trust, somebody he could look up to, a person he could turn to when things get rough. Somebody that would always be there no matter what he did or said. And I'm thinking after what was done and said last night I am those things to him.
I start to think about what he said last night, those two simple words that were like a symphony to my ears. I can still hear the way he said it, clear as a bell in my head. I remember the second it came out of his mouth so clearly. Suddenly I realize, I had assumed he was asleep until the second he opened his mouth to utter those words. What if he was dreaming? What if he wasn't even saying it to me? It makes sense I mean it would be very unlikely that he would tell me he loved me so shortly after meeting me.
"Kevin," my Dad's voice suddenly snaps me back to reality. "Kevin, stop daydreaming, just because we're here to help doesn't mean we do all the work."
I realize that my thinking has stopped me from doing any actual packing, and after my rude awakening I quickly start fumbling with the pile of clothes I have in front of me. As my mind goes back to thinking about just how much I can fit in one box Brian comes into the living room.
"Hello there," my Mom says, as she sees Brian standing at the entrance of the living room from the hallway.
"Hi," Brian says meekly, still apparently shy around my parents.
"Oh Kevin, you didn't get him hooked on that horrible band too. Did you?" my Mom asks, as she notices Brian wearing the gray Nirvana t-shirt we had grabbed from my house the other day.
"Not yet," I say, with a smile as I make eye contact with Brian. "Though that is the second Nirvana t-shirt he's worn in two days."
I want to talk to Brian about last night, and what happened but my parents being with us makes that impossible, if for no other reason than to calm my now rampant fears. After a breakfast of bagels my parents had brought with them my Dad, Brian and I make our way to my car so I can pick up the U-haul. The ride is absolutely silent. When we get the truck, my Dad drives my car back and Brian rides with me in the truck. Finally we have a chance to talk.
"Brian, what we did last night," I say, as I fight with the truck to get it out of the parking lot. "I hope you're still okay with it," I say nervously.
"I liked it," Brian says. "Can we do it again tonight?"
"Well we'll see," I say. No matter how much I enjoyed last night I am still conflicted about how often something like that should happen. "I just wanted to know how it made you feel?"
"Really good," Brian says, with a smirk.
"Well, I'm glad to hear that," I chuckle, as we stop at a red light. "But I don't mean how it made you feel down here," I say snagging a quick grab of his crotch. "What I'm asking is how it made you feel in here," I say, moving my hand up to his chest and over his heart.
"I told you already," he says. "Don't you remember? I said I love you," he adds, a look of hurt coming to his face. "You said it back. I thought you meant it."
"Whoa hold on there partner," I say, amazed how quickly Brian can get carried away. I feel a sudden rush of relief take over my body as I realize that Brian actually did mean what he said last night. My fears had been totally unfounded. "I remember, I absolutely remember and I definitely meant what I said. I just wanted to make sure you still feel the same way."
"I do," Brian says. "You're nicer to me than anybody has been since my parents."
"Well, you're very special," I say, having to put my eyes back on the road and away from him as the traffic light turns green. "And Brian, I want you to know that if I didn't love you last night would have never happened. You get that?"
"I think so," Brian says. I see him out of the corner of my eye, shifting in his seat to face me more. "You mean that last night was like you showing me you love me."
"Exactly," I say.
"I guessed that," he says. "It was different, than...Well you know...All of the other times, with the other guys."
"I know," I say. "It should have been."
The move to the new apartment is utterly exhausting but by six that evening Brian and I are totally moved into our new place. This apartment is definitely bigger than my old one. The living room is larger than my old one. We place the couch along one wall and my television on it's stand on the opposite wall but there is room for more furniture if I ever wanted to add on something. On the wall next to the television is an electric fireplace. The kitchen is right off the living room and next to it is a small dining area, something that was missing in my old place. In between the dining area and the living room is the entrance to the hallway. My bedroom and Brian's bedroom are right across the hall from each other. We will still have to share a bathroom, which is at the end of the hall, but I figure that won't be too difficult. I will still be sleeping on the couch for a little while, or at least that's the plan, until we can get Brian some bedroom furniture, mainly a bed.
My parents take us out to dinner, at an actual restaurant. I still haven't told them about my visit to the lawyer yesterday, and to be totally honest I don't have any plans to until I absolutely have to. That is not a conversation I am looking forward to. Though as the evening progresses I see Brian start to relax around them, and they around him. My Dad even tells him a couple of his more G rated jokes, and Brian actually laughs at them, which is something I've never done.
Brian and I get back to our new apartment around ten at night, and we are both absolutely exhausted. Brian goes straight into the bathroom to get ready for bed and I just stand in the living room and take a look around our new place. I take it in for a minute thinking how much this past week has changed my life. A week ago I was living basically at the Sierra Inn, which was the absolute center of my being. The entirety of my plans included expanding the Sierra Inn to include a restaurant, opening more locations and achieving all the goals I had set for my five year plan. I had no personal plans, no goals for my non-existent social life. I was utterly committed to my work. Now just a week later I'm thinking about adoption, I'm talking about love. And I don't want to even think about the possibility of things going back to the way they were a week ago.
Five year plans and all are great. Reaching for being a millionaire and being able to buy all the material possessions that amount of money can buy you is fine. But when it comes down to it how important is money? And who defines success anyway? So maybe I'm not the next Conrad Hilton, okay that's fine with me. I'll settle for being the guy that works his ass off to give his son the world, even if it is the working man's world. I know I have a ways to go until I can really call Brian my son legally. But I like the way it sounds.
I am suddenly brought back to the present when Brian comes out of the bathroom and into the living room, naked as the day he was born.
"I thought you were tired," I say, looking at his face which has a sly smirk across it.
"I'm not that tired," Brian says, the smirk never disappearing from his face.
I shake my head and just stare at him for a minute. Suddenly I feel my own fatigue leaving my body.
"You know what?" I ask Brian. "I'm not that tired either."
To Be Continued....
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Part 9 Coming Soon!