Date: Wed, 21 Nov 2001 16:53:16 From: Ganymede Subject: The Sugar Plum Fairy, ACT I. The Sugar Plum Fairy, ACT I, by Ganymede WARNING: This story contains graphic descriptions of sexual acts between men and MINOR boys. It is not true! The story is not intended to promote illegal acts against minors. I do not condone child abuse, however the love of boys is a different matter. Despite the prevalent attitudes of western society, men have loved boys throughout recorded history. It is my goal to help readers appreciate that love can exist between men and boys. If the subject of man/boy love offends you, if this material is illegal in your place of residence, or if you are under the legal age for such material, do not read further! By downloading this story: "... you implicitly declare and affirm under penalties of perjury that you are not a minor or in the company of a minor and are entitled to have access to material intended for mature, responsible members of society capable of making decisions about the content of documents they wish to read...." Any similarity to individuals, living or dead, is entirely accidental. The sexual acts described in the story are the result of my imagination. I have not performed these acts, and I do not encourage others to perform them with minors. The story is copyrighted under the pseudonym, Ganymede. Copies have been placed in two archives for your enjoyment. The story cannot be used to derive monetary gain. The story cannot be placed in archives that require payment for access, or printed and distributed in any form that requires payment either directly or indirectly. THE NIFTY ARCHIVE: The Nifty Archive needs your support. If you enjoy reading this story, please remember that it is available only because of the Nifty Archive. Instructions are provided on the Nifty home page for how to provide support. COMMENTS AND SUPPORT: Now available http://www.ghouldrool.com/ganymede FINAL WARNING: If you are under the age of 18, if this material is illegal in your place of residence, or if man-boy relationships aren't your thing, then exit now and save yourself from a life of sin! The Sugar Plum Fairy, ACT I, by Ganymede Dedicated to another's friend, a boy who wanted to dance. Thanksgiving, 2001 OVERTURE Alesha danced. Every move was nearly perfect, exactly choreographed for the right effect, yet his motion was as much instinctive as the result of reason for that was how it was supposed to be. He danced not by habit formed by endless repetition, although he practiced for as long as he could remember, but driven by an inner sense that was the purpose for his life. Each elegant, precise step was absolutely controlled, his mind constantly challenged to convey meaning, to imbue this dance with that certain something that his mother said was the sign 'par excellence'. She often spoke to him in French, for it was the language of ballet. The sunlight through the clerestory windows made distracting patterns upon the polished wooden floor, yet Alesha did not notice. Neither did he notice the sounds from the busy street outside. When he danced, nothing could interrupt him until he finished. After two hours without a break he was beginning to get tired and each breath seemed shorter, faster than the one before it. He began the long arching steps that led up to the final pirouette of the Grand Allegro. Past his mother, barely noticing her nod of admiration. Past Monsieur Ricard, who smiled at him. The choreographer of the New York Ballet seemed pleased. Yet, at that very moment, Alesha's body chose to do something that it had never done before. Perhaps it was the tights, a second sheer skin that made him excited, for he relished the feel of the sleek thin cloth against his lithe body. Perhaps it was the feeling of success, triumph from doing his very best. The other possibility would not have dared to enter his mind. Alesha had never experienced sex, not even with his hand. However, because of his mother's devotion to his education, he was entirely familiar with the basic principles at work, from how a baby was conceived to why two men would share a bedroom. He had never had the time to discover how his body worked. He was too busy during the day, and at night, he was too tired. His penis, which until that moment had always been about the same size as his thumb in dimension, hardened quickly. His heart was pumping powerfully and it was only natural that once initiated, a good portion of his blood rapidly found its way into his tiny flaccid organ. It swelled and lengthened, thickened, and became erect. It stuck straight out, a fraction under three inches long from the hairless base to the still-foreskin-covered tip. It pointed into the crotch of his tights, noticeably stretching the material across the tip. When he executed the pirouette, he glimpsed Monsieur Ricard's expression. He held his final position, a graceful poise, balanced on the tips of the toes of his right foot. "En pointe?" Monsieur Ricard applauded as Alesha came slowly to stand on both feet. The boy was trembling. His delicately featured face was flecked with minute beads of sweat. He panted for a moment, closing his eyes to concentrate, to resume another life. "How utterly delightful," the man continued with a smile. His fingers fluttered. he stepped back a pace. His eyes appraised the boy from head to toe. Such long thin legs. A narrow waist. At least he had the pelvis of a boy. A face that kept him awake at night. And the boy was erect, as hard as a nail, poking out between his lithe thighs. He smiled knowingly. "But 'en pointe' is not for a boy despite how beautiful he is," he laughed teasingly. "Perhaps he should wear a tee-shirt, Ioana. All the boys do nowadays, at least for practice, so they do not look like girls." "He won't wear one. He says he cannot move properly. Besides, he has a very nice body so he should show it, no?" "Ha! No matter. You surprise even me, Alesha. You will most certainly win. You have trained him well, Ioana-Christina. I regret that I must go back to work. I would love to watch him longer. He dances divinely for one so young." The man turned with a distinctive flourish. Alesha watched his back until he was gone from sight, barely cognizant that he appreciated what he saw. "Mama?" he asked nervously. "Was I good?" "My darling, you were better than I can say." "Monsieur Ricard looked at me strangely, Mama." His mother smiled slightly. She had noticed too. "You do not like to wear a dance belt, but perhaps you should wear a poche." "A pouch?" "It seems the child is growing up," she mused aloud. "Who me?" She laughed and pointed down. Alesha looked. Only then he saw the cloth pulled taut across his squat projection, and realizing what part of his body caused it, he blushed instantly. There had been signs along the way, of course, beginning one afternoon at the National Museum in Kiev. It was the first time that there had been something that she could put her finger on. Alesha was six years old and he stopped to stare at an enormous painting of a man. A man of the new Stalinist society, a laborer with bulging hairy arms by Gerasimov. Alesha's eyes did not waver. It was as if he had never seen a man. With longing eyes, he gazed upon an enormous mound and wondered what was there hidden beneath the overalls. After that day, like a jigsaw, the pieces had slowly fallen into place. How often she had seen the same thing in other boys. ACT I, SCENE I. The first time I saw Alesha Yaroshenko was in early Spring. I tried very hard not to stare at him, but from the moment I first saw him, I felt my heart lurch and begin to beat faster. I could not stop looking at him. Not that I cared that someone would notice. The judges realized that although my position did not require that I evaluate the candidates, I still made some notes and gave scores. According to the schedule and performance sheets, there were seven candidates for three scholarships, two to be awarded among five girls and the other for one of the two boys. They were all aged between eleven and twelve, all ready to enter the New York Ballet Junior Academy in the following Fall, all very talented. I thumbed through the sheaf of papers several times before I found the one I wanted. By then, it was the only choice because the girls danced first. The entrancing boy was obviously not Darius Kgotso Washington, a name as black as the boy who sat next to him. In Russia, Alesha was a boy's name. He looked so much like one of the girls that the name was very appropriate. The girls were very good. Two of them were better than the others and I checked their pages out of interest to see whether my evaluations were the same as the five official judges. My highest score went to Amanda Burns, closely followed by Elena Friedman. At the bottom end of my scores, was Janelle Futaba Washington, the black boy's twin sister. Knowing the other Board members who were judging the competition, I had a bad feeling about how the scholarships would be awarded. Then, it was the boys' turn to dance. As soon as Alesha Yaroshenko stood up, I had the strangest feeling that he was going to be the best dancer of the seven. that could only belong to a dancer of the highest order. He had wonderful long legs. He had thin ankles, lithe calves, thighs that were not much thicker than his knees. He had narrow hips, an even narrower waist, and slim shoulders. His legs were spaced apart, creating a gap between the insides of his thighs such as might be seen on some of the girl dancers. The bulge of his groin was barely noticeably, yet it was there. A compact hemisphere, just slightly larger and rounder than the girls who had preceded him. His hair was blond, not long, not short, just right. There was a simple copper-colored band on his wrist. I listened to the Chairman's announcement, even though I had read the details for myself no less than half-a-dozen times while the girls were performing their auditions. "The next candidate is Mr. Alesha Yaroshenko. He is eleven and he has been taking dance classes for seven years, four years at the Kiev National Ballet Primary School, and since coming to the U.S. with his mother, he has spent three years in the advanced class of our junior program, along with taking lessons at the Greenwich Academy of Gymnastics." The Chairman stopped there as if to let his words sink in. The boy had a remarkable amount of experience for one so young. Most children did not begin formal ballet classes until they were eight or nine years old. if they started younger, they attended one of the amateur programs elsewhere in the city. "Since we are running behind schedule, and there are only two candidates for the boy's scholarship, they will be dancing the Adagio and Petit Allegro, either classical or modern dance. If there is a tied score, then both boys will do the Grand Allegro. The judges will adjust their scores accordingly." He started to dance, accompanied only by the grand piano. My first impression was confirmed immediately. I gazed silently, aware that my heart was beating quickly, that my lips were dry, that I was holding my pen so tightly that my hand hurt. He was nearly through the Adagio before I realized how beautiful he was. Each and every movement took my breath away: 'plier, etendre, relever, sauter, elancer, glisser, tourner; the seven movements that all ballet are grouped in; to bend, to stretch, to rise, to leap, to dart, to glide, to turn.' Then, he followed in quick succession, with petit jete and pirouette. His culmination of the first requirement was a nearly perfect emboite. From fifth position, with his right leg in front, he jumped like a gazelle and bent his leg before landing once again. It seemed to me that he had been in the air for a very long time. It was only at the very end that my interest was diverted from motion back to the lithe body of the boy. His poised stance was a sinuous curve, a flowing line that even Edgar Degas could not capture. Perhaps he made the mistake of always painting girls. I leaned forward, placed my elbows on the desk and watched with interest. I was not there to judge, all I had to do was watch. I had a position on the board only because my mother loved ballet and her will established a foundation that I was supposed to run. The only reason why I was there at all was to present the awards and scholarships. Her foundation provided three ballet scholarships for the junior students every year. For as long as they remained in the Academy they received full tuition and very generous living and travel expenses, even for New York. Her objective was to select the best students from throughout the U.S. and bring them to the New York Ballet Junior Academy. All seven candidates had been through several levels of competition already and at the culmination, they were extremely nervous. My eyes had followed Alesha's every move, until, without realizing it, I sighed aloud. "He's incredible." Randal Wilson, who was sitting next me, turned suddenly. "Yes, I must say that I agree with you, Sheldon. He's very good. It's not often that our students have gymnastics training as well as ballet, but they all should of course. It makes quite a difference." "So I see. He's just very good?" I whispered back. Randal smiled innocuously. He scribbled something on the top of the page in front of him. "I'm a judge. I have to be fair to everyone." I returned his smile and wrote down the score that I had assigned to Alesha. Unless Darius Kgotso Washington danced considerably better than he looked capable of, I would shortly be handing a check for the first year's thirty-five-thousand dollars to Alesha Yaroshenko. He would also receive a mahogany and gold- plated plaque that would eventually be modified to include his name. Unlike Alesha, whose leotard was skin-tight and very revealing of his form, Darius wore a loose tee-shirt and hip- hugger bell-bottom jazz-pants which showed very little of his body except his legs. He did have nice legs, legs that were noticeably sturdier than his competition. Darius was good at jazz ballet, just as I expected. However, even to my untrained eyes he lacked the other boy's timing, precision, and graceful ease of movement. By comparison, he appeared clumsy, yet I had the same nagging thought that had been in my head since the competition started. The judges would be swayed by the black twins no matter how much they claimed to be 'fair'. Several minutes passed while the judges confided, while they added up the combined scores, while they engaged in an earnest yet whispered conversation that I could not overhear despite being so close. Finally, the Chairman stood up and gave the pronouncement that the seven children were anxiously waiting for. Five girls and two boys were so nervous that they were all but trembling in their seats. "Thank you very much. I think I speak for all of the judges that today's performances were clearly among the very best that we have seen in the twelve years of awarding the Beaufort Scholarships." He paused and took a deep breath before continuing his unrehearsed speech. "We are very lucky today to have Mr. Sheldon Seymour Beaufort, the Third, with us to award the scholarships. He has been the chairman of The Beaufort Foundation for the Performing Arts since its inception in 1997. Mr. Beaufort also represents the New York ballet because he is a cherished member of the Board of the Company.... Mr. Beaufort." I walked across the small temporary dais to the lectern. Uncertainly, I tapped the microphone, not that I needed the audio system because the audience numbered no more than a few dozen, a few teachers and students from the school, the children's parents, and the judges. I was as nervous as the children, one child in particular. While I stood there for a few seconds, trying think what I should say, his eyes met mine. I had not noticed how blue his eyes were. I had left my brief prepared speech at the table where I had been sitting. "Ah-hem," I muttered. "Um,..." I stopped and took a slow breath. "I used to think that I was accomplished at public speaking, but after what I've seen this afternoon, I'm lost for words." There! When lost for words, tell the audience what you are thinking, what is in your heart. Now what? More of the same? There was nothing quite like the truth. "I am very impressed! No, make that extremely impressed." He was gazing at me, that beautiful boy-dancer who sat second from the end. His head inclined slightly, his expression quizzical as if he knew that I was talking about him and not the rest of the candidates. I almost used his name. "All of you should be very proud of yourselves. I truly wish that the Beaufort Foundation could provide scholarships to all of you." I tried to look away from him. Magnetic eyes. Eyes that had locked on mine and were absorbing my every thought. I wondered what he was thinking. "However, there can only be three winners today. I am certain that the judges have had an exceptionally difficult task deciding who they are. Mr. Chairman, if you would be so good as to give me the list?" He passed me the unsealed envelop. I held it out, hoping that the Foundation was going to provide a scholarship to Alesha Yaroshenko. His name had to be among one of the three winners, despite the worry that loomed in my head. My fear was entirely out of proportion to what I had just observed. Alesha was simply so much better. Slowly I opened the envelop. My hand trembled when I read the names. "The winners are, in order of points scored, Amanda Burns, with 280, Darius Washington, with 275 after being corrected for the different number of requirements, and Janelle Washington, with 270." His face paled. His mouth moved, opened, swallowed. He trembled, ready to burst into tears. I wanted to shout out that it was a joke. A mistake. That the decisions were wrong. I watched him with an overwhelming sense of his sadness. It was no different to mine. Still uncertain, I glanced over my shoulder at Randal Wilson. He was one of the few people I had met while serving on the Ballet Company Board that I truly liked. He was also a teacher at the school, Classical, Virtuosity, and Repertoire. He shrugged his shoulders, not much, but enough that I saw it. What was he trying to say? "Congratulations to the winners," I said glumly. "The judges must believe that you have truly deserved to win given the very high level of competition that I observed." I wanted to say that their choice was not my choice, that my choice had Alesha Yaroshenko as the clear winner with 290 corrected points. How could the judges have possibly given Darius Washington 275 points? Of course, I knew the answer to that question. Every time the Board convened, we talked about increasing the number of African-American dancers. It was a high priority and it would be no different in the Junior Academy. After the awards had been given to the children, I walked away from the lectern, feeling his eyes on my back. Even more than the judges, I had let him down. "Very good?" I said sarcastically to Randal in a muted yet strained voice. "Sheldon,... I tried to be fair." "Of course you did. I'm tired." Randal raised an eyebrow but did not say anything. The competition concluded with the Chairman thanking the contestants and their parents for coming, some of them from as far as Oregon. As people stood up to leave, I turned to Randal again. "Fair?" I asked. "Sheldon, let it go." "That other boy, Alesha Yaroshenko? He was much better. You know as well as I do that he was excellent. So was that second girl, what was her name?" "Elena Friedman!" Randal offered calmly. "Perhaps the other judges saw something different." "I'm sure they did," I fumed. "I don't think they saw talent, except Amanda's. She was very good." "Yes she was. And so was your boy," Randal replied pointedly. I hesitated when he smiled. "My boy?" I asked awkwardly. Had Randal observed me staring at the boy? Randal shrugged. "You know his mother, don't you?" he said absently. "I beg your pardon?" I felt my face begin to blush. It sounded like Randal was accusing me of being biased. "Hardly. I have no idea who he is." The words of denial rushed out of me. I had spent a lifetime as a man who loved boys and I still was uncomfortable with it. "Of course you do, Sheldon. Ioana-Cristina? The Russian we brought over a few years ago?" "Who?" "You must be getting Alzheimer's, Sheldon. I'm sure she was presented to the Board when she first arrived. A few years ago? You'd been on the Board for about a year, I think. Remember the prima from Kiev? The woman who broke her ankle when she slipped on the ice outside the Starbucks on 75th?" "Oh! She's his mother?" It all came back to me then. Ioana-Cristina Yaroshenko, principal dancer in a dozen different ballets before she emigrated to the West. I had seen her dance Pas-de-Six in Giselle, just after she had arrived. While not a lead role, it demonstrated what she could do. There was some discussion on the Board about elevating her status to 'principal' for her next ballet role. Unfortunately, it was only a month or so after that when she slipped on a sheet of ice and shattered her ankle. Her lead role in the Company had not even started and it was lost forever. "The last thing I heard was she was having trouble paying the medical bills," I said absently. Even though she had health insurance as a member of the company, she still had to pay a portion of the bills. After several operations to reconstruct her ankle, The Beaufort Foundation had provided several thousand dollars to assist her in meeting the deductions. "That's more than likely," Randal agreed. "As you know, we pay our dancers a pittance." I grimaced. Salaries were a continuing issue in Board meetings and certain to heat up the discussion. Everyone accepted that it was very expensive to live in New York, but the funds simply were not available to provide substantial increases. Increasing ticket prices would reduce attendance. It was a classic `Catch-22'. "And Alesha is her son?" I mused aloud. Randal nodded. "I don't understand why he would want the living expenses when he already lives in New York. Is he even eligible?" I pursued curiously. "I think the rule is that the scholarship holders have to live far enough from New York that daily travel to the Academy is unreasonable?" "Okay. Then my next question is why does he need a tuition scholarship?" I asked. "I thought there was free tuition for Company members?" "There is, but she's leaving us in the near future, I believe. After the accident, she's not been given a soloist role for obvious reasons." "Where's she going to, Randal?" "A Texas company from what I hear. Dallas, or somewhere like that, has offered her a solo role. Foresten in Sleeping Beauty, I think it is." Randal did not have to say that the standards were generally a lot lower in Texas. A lot of dancers who could not make it beyond the second row in New York went south, and not just for the milder winters there. "I think she wants to leave the boy here in New York with friends, at least for a while." "That's a pity," I mused. "He's too young to be left behind. He's only just turned eleven." Again Randal regarded me quizzically. I was not at all certain why I had made a point of remembering his age, and then referring to it when it should have been unimportant to me. I needed to exercise more caution. However, from the evaluation form I had noted with interest that Alesha had been born eleven years and two weeks ago. "Well, the Academy is one of the best in the country, and it's unlikely they would have anything like it in Texas. Line dancing is about as much as they have down there," Randal added cynically. "I expect that's why her son was here today," he continued. "If he's going to stay in New York, he'll need a full scholarship to do it." "Oh!" I sighed. "It's a pity he didn't win then, isn't it?" I added. I scanned the retreating backs of the audience, mostly mothers with their daughters in tow as they headed for the changing rooms. There was no sign of Alesha and his mother. I wanted to see him again, even if only for a few seconds. "I agree with you, Sheldon. He should have won," Randal confided. "It wasn't because of my score, you know. We both gave him 290." "You saw my sheet?" I asked petulantly. Randal shrugged and gestured with his hand to suggest my complain was unfounded. He smiled, fluttering his eyebrows for an instant. "But he was delightful, wasn't he? Even my score was probably lower than he deserved," Randal said quietly. "It's a pity he'll probably have to go to Texas with his mother." "Yes," I agreed. Had Randal emphasized 'delightful', the way that it sounded to me? I felt my face begin to flush. "Very delightful," I muttered. We parted a few minutes later after reviewing some matters that were due to come up at the next Board meeting and after saying good bye. I was depressed, as much from realizing that I would never see Alesha again as having witnessed as cruel a miscarriage of justice as anything that in a courtroom. What made the latter even worse was that it had occurred in front of me and I was helpless to do anything except hand over the checks to the wrong people and congratulate two of them as sincerely as I could. I went outside to catch a taxi back to my house. I lived on East 78th Street, Upper East Side in a large four- storey Vermont-marble house that had been in the Beaufort family for several generations. It was a very large house for an unmarried man, but I could not bring myself to sell it. The house was in a pleasant neighborhood with at least one tree outside every house, although there were too many stock and bond traders for my taste. It seemed that every car on the street was a Porsche, a BMW 850, or Mercedes limousine. Interestingly, only a few weeks earlier I had received a discreet inquiry from the U.S. State Department about the buying the house. Until then, I had no idea of the house's value. For a few days I considered selling and moving back to Paris. The nice thing was that the house was so close to Central Park that I could walk there in a few minutes. Even when the weather was cold and gloomy, there were always a few boys to watch in the afternoon. From past experience, it usually was not difficult to find a taxi in the vicinity of the Lincoln Center Plaza. However, the auditions had gone much longer than expected and the work day for many people had finished. There were two mothers and their talented offspring waiting for taxis to go back to their hotels as well. I avoided looking towards the Washington family, the twins, an older and taller brother, and a mother with tightly coiled hair. After a minute or two, I acknowledged Amanda Burns with a smile. As soon as she showed recognition, I promptly averted my gaze, even though she had deserved to win. The last thing I wanted was to become involved in a desultory conversation with her mother. I waited impatiently as scores of yellow taxis sped past carrying single passengers. It did nothing to relieve my feeling of utter frustration. "Sheldon?" I turned when my name was called. Randal came down the steps and crossed the footpath to where I was standing near the curb. I ignored him for what seemed an inordinate amount of time. Alesha Yaroshenko and his mother were not very far behind him. They waited off to the side as Randal began to speak. Alesha was still central in my mind, although I tried to avoid looking at him. "I'm glad I caught you," he began. He took a deep breath. He was flustered, not out of breath but visibly anxious about something. I waited for him to continue. I glanced at Alesha. I was transfixed, captivated, engrossed. I could not remember seeing a more beautiful boy. "After what you said inside,... um,... well,... I thought you might like to talk to him,... and his mother too, of course,..." Randal's voice faded away in my ears. I was not listening. I was looking. It was impossible to imagine a more perfect face. Such clear blue eyes. There was a wisp of hair across his forehead. He had changed out of his ballet attire and was wearing tight blue jeans and a sweater emblazoned with 'pas de deux' and a picture of a young man and woman dancing. There was a hint of sadness on his face, yet I could not help but admire his lips, lips that were full and red and almost feminine. "I need to be getting back," I muttered awkwardly in reply. Randal smiled. "They would like to meet you. It really won't take very long, Sheldon. Just say 'hi'." What could I do but wait and be infatuated for that was what it was, of course. Infatuation. Yet even then during that first brief meeting, there was something more between us. From the boy's nervousness I could see that he was impressed, but that was only natural. And I saw curiosity, too, from the flicker of his eyes when they met mine, a sign of deep intelligence. A shy smile as he approached. His eyes travelled rapidly, taking in my appearance, the clothes I wore, even the bright polish on my shoes. There was another hint of a smile, less shy, becoming bold, when he extended his hand to mine. We shook perfunctorily, yet the thrill lasted much longer. His hand was small, bony, soft, surprisingly strong. "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Beaufort," he said in a clear, well-dictioned, European-sounding voice. "You danced beautifully, Alesha," I replied. I could still feel his hand in mine, although the friendly grasp had long since departed and both hands were by his sides. How natural it had felt to hold his hand. "Thank you, sir." He smiled again. "This is my mother, Ioana- Christina Yaroshenko" he added politely. There was an accent, but three years of living in New York City had tamed it considerably. He sounded refined, very mature for his age. She was close behind him, like a protective hen, but far enough away that her son was in the spotlight as was appropriate to the situation. Her eyes flashed, a smile like his, but one of initial recognition that we shared an interest in her son. Warily, I extended my hand to her. "It's a pleasure to meet you once again, Ms. Yaroshenko," I said. I had very nearly called her Ioana, but it was hardly appropriate. "You remember me, Mr. Beaufort?" She sounded very surprised "Of course. It was only three years ago, just after you arrived. I saw you dance the 'six' in Giselle. You were excellent. Randal might think that I have Alzheimer's, but I'm not so old that I don't remember the important things!" I said with mocking exaggeration. She laughed gayly, a musical sound that made me laugh as well. "Well, I'm surprised." Her Russian accent was suddenly much stronger. "You're not old, Sir! I forget things all the time," Alesha announced in his beguiling tones. He had a sweet voice that lingered in my ears. It was different to the boys in Paris. I thought of music, of a bell tinkling in the breeze. It was a refreshing sound. It was followed by a persistent silence that continued until Randal gestured to a cruising taxi. It came to an abrupt halt a few feet away from me. Randal stepped forward and opened the rear door for me. The engine rattled and nearly died. I wanted to stay and talk, but the driver impatiently gunned the engine to keep it running. "Can I offer you a ride?" I offered hopefully, even though I wondered why anyone would want to ride in a taxi with a noisy engine and the smell of artificial lilac-scented air freshener. "No, but I thank you. We must do shopping on the way," she answered. "Well, I guess I have to go or he'll charge me extra for waiting," I muttered the obvious. "Good luck, Alesha. I'm sorry about the scholarship." Before I closed the door, I looked up at him. He was still smiling, but he was not so far from bursting into tears that the slightest provocation would set it off. Again, we made deliberate eye contact. If I wanted to I could easily create another scholarship just for him. Given the injustice that I had witnessed, it was the least that I could do. "You were by far the best, by the way," I said loudly. I hoped that the Washington family would hear me. The last thing I saw when I turned around in my seat to look out the rear window was Randal talking to the Washingtons. Alesha and his mother had turned the corner and were gone from sight. ACT I, SCENE II. Randal telephoned me two days later. It should not have seemed like a long time. Certainly, I missed being in Paris in the spring. I owned a sixth-floor apartment overlooking the Luxembourg Gardens in the heart of the Latin Quarter. The Bohemian culture continued, which was my primary reason for living there in the first place. A single visit nearly twenty-two years earlier, a evening not unlike that depicted in John Singer Sargent's painting of 1879, and a meeting such as Victor Hugo described for Marius and Cosette in `Les Miserables': 'Marius had opened his whole soul to nature, he was thinking of nothing, he was living and breathing, he passed near this seat, the young girl raised her eyes, their glances met'. In my case, I was seated, and the girl, Cosette, was a boy aged thirteen. Martin was just thirteen, but he was old enough to flirt. First, with his eyes while he promenaded with his friends, strolling down a brilliantly flowered pathway, lingering by the long fountain whose name I always forgot. At first, I took little notice of him, not until he turned around and looked directly back at me. Like me, he was a dreamer. He was also gay. He came to visit every afternoon and sometimes stayed until dark. Two years passed before I missed Martin, but there were always other boys. Some boys I paid, but most came voluntarily or in return for expensive gifts. My mother died and duty called. I moved back to New York. I missed Paris, but there were always other boys. For the last four years it seemed that I paid all the boys. During two long days, I thought often about Alesha, more often than I thought about Paris and the boys I remembered from the years I had spent there. I grumbled at my housekeeper. I stayed indoors, from dawn to dusk reading in the Library. When Peters announced the call from Randal, I was grateful for the interruption to my melancholy. "Sheldon, I'm glad I caught you at home," he began. "Are you by yourself?" he asked secretively. For no reason other than the mysterious tone of his voice, I glanced over my shoulder. No one was there. No one had been there since I had come downstairs. From somewhere in the house, a door opened and closed. A momentary voice. Silence again. It had been like that for two days. My bad mood was contagious. "Yes." "I wanted to, um,... talk about something with you,... if you have the time, that is?" "I'm not busy if that's what you mean," I replied. I walked to the window, parted the brocaded curtains, and looked down into the street. It was nearly lunch time and the residential neighborhood was much quieter than usual. There was a thin film of dust on the wide cherry sill, leaving a path behind my tracing finger. It was time to talk to Peters again about replacing the cleaning company. He had suggested that we employ a woman on a continuing basis, but I had resisted for no other reason than stubbornness. Certainly, the rugs were always vacuumed and the mirrors were clean, but the little things were being missed. A window sill was hardly a 'little thing', was it? "I was wondering if the Foundation might be interested in doing something for Alesha Yaroshenko," Randal asked suddenly. "I suppose it could, depending what you had in mind," I replied. "Um.... Another scholarship?" Randal suggested. "Another scholarship?" I repeated. "It might be possible, I suppose. It's difficult to be certain until I talk to the accountants. The market is down at present." "I thought the funds were all in blue-chips?" "Yes, that and long-term Treasury Bonds. The bond income is fixed, of course, but the dividends are being cut way back. Most of the portfolio-value is down at current prices." "It's only thirty-five thousand dollars." "But it's a seven-year commitment, Randal. I expect I'd have to provide principal out of my own funds if it's going to happen before next year," I added vaguely. At a market yield based on recent dividend payouts, I would need to add close to a million dollars of my own money to the Foundation's funds. It was not impossible, but it would certainly need a lot of thought. I wanted to say 'yes'. "Um, Sheldon?" "Yes." "If possible, and I know it's asking an awful lot of you, but it should have something for overseas travel in it as well. You know, like you do for the senior scholarships," he suggested, still hopeful "Not a lot! Maybe a couple of thousand a year." "Why?" "You've seen him dance. He's good enough to do his summers overseas. He could get into any children's program he wants," Randal explained. "Did you know he speaks five languages fluently, Sheldon?" he added with a high-pitched, somewhat silly laugh. "Let's see,... You've heard his English already, and he speaks Russian, of course. He has excellent German and French, which is ideal for ballet as you know,... and the other one is,... damn, I forget." "Who did you say has Alzheimer's?" I teased. "That wasn't on his form." "His mother told me." Randal paused. I waited for a few seconds. "Sheldon,..." "Yes?" "The reason why I called,....Um,... you see,... I hope you'll forgive me for saying this,... I know you like boys." "What?" I blurted out angrily. My face flushed. My heart pounded. My legs felt weak. It was the last thing that a boy lover wanted to hear. There was no way that Randal could possibly know about that. I was very circumspect in that regard. A few times, boys had come to my house, but none had stayed overnight. I was very careful about being seen in public. I used hotels or stayed with friends. The people who saw me with boys were boy lovers themselves. They were as careful as I was. "Sheldon?" Randal began after the silence had become interminable. "Yes." "It's true isn't it?" "What's true?" "What I just said." Randal was as reluctant to repeat himself as I was to admit that I had heard him say it. Again, we descended into silence. "Sheldon,...." "Yes." "I'm the same way, okay." "You?" "Yes, me." "Oh!" "I like boys, Sheldon. I have since I was a boy myself." "That's good?" I said sarcastically. "No, but I can't change what I am, even if I wanted to." "Why are you telling me this, Randal?" I asked coldly. Silence again. I sighed and shrugged my shoulders. He had been honest with me, or at least he gave me the impression of telling the truth. Maybe I was being too careful. From my experience, most men did not come right out with it. The word got around because of mutual friends, either men or boys. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that," I apologized. "It's just, well,... I try to keep my private life private for obvious reasons." "Me too, Sheldon. I usually don't go around telling people about my perversions." I laughed. It was impossible not to like him. "So tell me about your, er,... interest?" I asked with amusement. "Hm,... I guess I'm what you might call a chocolate twinkie lover at the moment," Randal answered after a few seconds. "A what?" "I have a thing with older black boys right now," he replied. His voice became furtive. "Of course, I don't like them hairy, but I've found I can enjoy a nice big cock when nothing else is available. I'm not about to say that the more cream inside a boy the better. Give me a pre-pubescent boy any day, but I'll take what I can get. What about you?" His excitement was apparent in his voice. I held the telephone tightly, hoping that no one else was listening in. It was always a problem with portable telephones. "You already met my ideal," I answered ambiguously. "Alesha? Yes, I thought so. He'll be a little minx, that one, when he starts making decisions for himself." Alesha, a minx? The very thought made my heart start beating faster even though part of me wanted the boy to stay pure and innocent, always a boy in that idealized perfection that men like me tended to create. "Maybe," I ventured. After a lifetime of being careful, it was impossible to let my guard down. "Sheldon?..." "Yes?" "About the scholarship?" I thought for a moment. The situation was out of control. I needed more time. I was not going to commit, not now, not yet. "I'll have to talk to the accountants." "Will you?" Randal asked. "It's important, Sheldon." He did not say anything for a while and I could hear no sound in the background. I had the distinct impression that his hand was cupped over the telephone to muffle what he was saying to someone else. I shuddered at the thought that someone had overhead the conversation. "Sheldon, is it possible to meet you for lunch somewhere,... today?" My intuition was that I should have said 'no'. However, I had no plans other than reading a book and having a glass of wine. I was honest to a fault. "I suppose,..." "I'd like you to talk with Ioana." "Oh! Randal, I don't think that is such a good idea. I mean,..." "Sheldon, can you trust me for an hour? I promise it will be worth your time. I'll even pay for lunch. At the tavern?" he offered smoothly. "At the Tavern?" I laughed. "You're on! You'll have trouble getting a table without a reservation." "I'll use your name?" he suggested gleefully. "I hear you go there all the time." "Hardly. I'll have Peters call," I said. "It's a bit chilly to be on the terrace. How about the Crystal Room? In an hour? Would that be too soon?" "No, it's perfect. I'm at the Academy right now. We can catch the subway up to 68th street and walk over. If you're walking from 78th Street we should be there about the same time. We might even see you on the way. Oh, and by the way, the other language?" "Yes?" "I forgot. He also speaks excellent Italian and is passable in Spanish." I wondered how Randal knew where I lived, that I preferred to walk where ever I was going, that I often had lunch at the Tavern. Normally, I would have asked. Perhaps I did have Alzheimer's. I could not remember what subway line Randal would take to get there. When I put the telephone down my hand was clammy. I let the curtain fall back into place. ACT I, SCENE III. I walked quickly. Walking was my only exercise and I tended to pace myself. My best time to the Tavern was a little under ten minutes. I arrived only a few minutes before Randal and Ioana. I waved from the Crystal Room and beckoned to the waiter to bring them to my table. I stood up to welcome them. I waited until they were both seated before I resumed my position in the familiar green chair that might as well have had my name on it. Certainly, the prices were outrageous, but the food was usually excellent, the decor was stunning, and the setting was luxurious. I particularly enjoyed the paintings. There were three tricks to having a good time. For the best service you had to eat there often. You had to know what to order from the extensive menu, and you had to forget about what it cost. From the startled look on Randal's face as he scanned the menu, I presumed it was his first time dining at the Tavern on the Green. At the table next to us, I could hear a couple of investment bankers talking in exaggerated terms about items on the menu. It always annoyed me when people 'dropped names'. It wasn't long before I heard 'Warner LeRoy' and 'Gary Cole'. "The lobster bisque is quite good," I announced. "It's one of my favorites. Gary uses a special cream, I believe," I said in a louder voice than I needed to use. Randal almost laughed aloud when he caught on. Ioana looked at me blankly, my innuendo trapped in the language vacuum. "I suppose we should have eaten at the Russian Tea Room, being as this is a meeting about ballet and you're from Kiev," I joked. "Of course, I'd still be walking to get there, but the food is usually better. The Tavern has a very nice smoked salmon by the way," I added to Ioana. To be honest, I had only been to the Russian Tea Room a couple of times during the last year since the renovation had been completed, and then it was for dinner with members of the Board. Each time, for some reason completely unknown to me, we bypassed the original cafes and ended up on the second floor with its modern Russian style. The food was better, but the setting lacked romance, and after all, romance was the spice of life. Randal smiled, bravely putting the best face that he could on prices that were out of his league. "This is fine, Sheldon. I'm not one for caviar." "After thinking our phone call earlier, this is on me, Randal," I winked. That calmed him down and he studied the menu with considerably more interest than panic. I took the time to think, keeping an eye on Ioana out of curiosity. I was not surprised to see that she was also very aware of me. Our eyes engaged several times before the waiter came over to take our orders. "I talked to the accountants as I promised I would," I began. They waited with bated breath for what I was going to say next. Ioana's hands were clasped in front of her, saying a silent prayer no doubt for what she wanted to hear. I took a deep breath and started the explanation that what I had been thinking about on the way from my house. "As I explained earlier, the market is depressed right now. The Foundation is stretched to make its current obligations, and we have a firm policy about continuing to build the principal no matter what. I'm afraid there isn't any excess income available, certainly not in the amount required for a full scholarship." "I know that policy was created to ensure the Foundation's long term future," Randal chimed in. "But couldn't you make an exception just this once?" I shook my head. The rule was one that I had established early on. Fifty percent of the dividend and interest income was applied to increasing the principal. Before I could go on to the next option, which entailed my contribution of funds to the Foundation, Ioana nodded. "I understand, Mr. Beaufort. To have Alesha dance in New York means so much to me." She hesitated to continue. I nodded once, understandingly, sympathetically, yet reluctant to reveal what I had in mind. I wanted Alesha to be in front of me when he heard. He would be excited. I wanted to see his face light up because of me. She leaned forward. Instinctively, I followed her lead and lowered my head. "When I was a girl in Russia, Mr. Beaufort, you did not get a scholarship to dance unless your parents were members of the Party. Or there were friends in positions of importance." She tensed, nervously rubbing the tips of her long thin fingers together "My parents were poor farmers, Mr. Beaufort. And poor in Russia is not like poor in this country. However, I was young and I was pretty. I was a very good dancer." She glanced at Randal for encouragement. He nodded slightly. "In order to be a dancer par excellence, I needed what you Americans would call a 'patron'. There is a different word for it in Russian, it is like 'protector'. It means a person who provides for a young artist, but unlike America, patronage does come for free." Ioana paused and again glanced nervously at Randal. This time he did not respond. She pursed her lips thoughtfully. Randal toyed with the silver-wired basket of bread that had been placed on the table before he selected an interesting slice with a thick crust and large yellow seeds. I'm not sure that I understand, Ioana," I said uncertainly. "In this country, the tax laws are fairly precise about donors getting something back for their money." "It isn't what she's talking about, Sheldon," Randal interrupted. "Perhaps you had better explain, Ioana," he suggested. "In Russia, things are very different to here. Even today, not much has changed since I was girl. Today, if I wanted to attend ballet school, to become a good dancer, I would still need a patron to succeed. It is one of the reasons why I left Russia. In America, if you are good at what you do, you will succeed. That is not true in Russia." I nodded, still not understanding. I wondered when the waiter would bring my customary glass of chablis. My throat was dry. "In Russia, it is no different for boys who wish to become excellent dancers. It is very expensive. They also take patrons." "I'm sure it is. That's why we have scholarships for our best students," I said, recognizing the injustice yet again as the words were leaving my mouth. "I was very sorry about Alesha. He should have won." "He's the best I've seen, Sheldon," Randal interjected. "He's outstanding. He's going to go a very long way. I'm sure you know that too. I mean it," he added with unnecessary emphasis. "He is a good boy, and he is smart," Ioana continued. "He will understand. He will accept. I am mot worried for him." "I wish I understood," I thought aloud. "I'm sorry. It's just that I'm getting confused." I opened my mouth to tell her that I would provide my own funds for a scholarship for Alesha. "He must go to school here,... in New York," Ioana said flatly, before I had a chance to speak. "If Alesha must have a patron, then so be it. I would like you to be his patron, Mr. Beaufort." "I would love to be," I began awkwardly, still not understanding why a patron was so important when I would provide another scholarship. "There is nothing I would like more than to see Alesha go to school and become a great dancer, and,..." "So it is decided?" she asked with instant, eager happiness. "Is what decided? I will try to do whatever is needed." She inclined her head. "Alesha will he happy. Already, I think, he likes you. Perhaps he will love you. Only time will tell." I turned to Randal. Her accent was such that I missed one word out of four. Was she saying what I thought she was saying? "I'm missing something, I think. Could you explain?" I asked. "I'm not sure I can do much better, Sheldon. I'll try." Randal scratched his head. "According to what Ioana told me earlier today, in Russia having a patron is,...well, you might say it's a very exclusive thing. It's very different to here. The patron provides everything for the child, in this case a boy. It's more than just money for tuition and a living allowance. Sometimes the patron supports his family, in return for,... well,... shall we say, certain favors." I gaped at him, mouth open, dumfounded. "It's usual for a boy to live with his patron," Randal added. "And as you know, Sheldon, given the opportunity,... well, relationships of a certain type can happen." "What is that supposed to mean?" I asked frankly. Again, Ioana leaned towards me. "It is no secret that boys bend over for their patrons," she confided. "I have told Alesha of this before. It is not good for a boy who dances to be ignorant of what is going on around him. I am sure he will agree." I was unable to speak. Both Ioana and Randal looked at me with quizzical expressions, as if they were waiting for my answer. My mind churned, thinking mostly of Alesha, of his slender lithe body dancing across the stage, his lean legs moving so gracefully that I could not look away. And I remembered the little bulge, not large, but big enough to show he was a boy. And his bottom too, that delightful, firm little bottom that was hidden under his tights yet so deliciously revealed. It was all so easy. All I had to do was say 'yes' and the most beautiful boy I had seen would be dropped into my lap. Just say 'yes'. I would not have to worry about finding boys in remote corners of Central Park, I would have my very own 'live-in'. Perhaps it was too easy. Part of the excitement lay in the chase, watching for a boy to show interest, the casual approach that was quickly rejected if he wasn't interested, the risk of being exposed if he was, of not knowing who it would be, of not having to make a commitment. "Randal!" I said. "It's against the law." "I know, but it's not like it sounds, Sheldon." "It sounds like glorified prostitution to me," I remarked. "Patronage prostitution. Like he's some kind of courtesan." "More like a catamite," Randal quipped with a smirk. "A what?" "A catamite. A boy who's,..." "For heaven's sake, I know what a catamite is, Randal. This is ridiculous! We're talking about child prostitution." "It isn't like that, Sheldon. I won't say that the type of men who become patrons aren't like us, because obviously they are. However, there's no pressure. It's entirely voluntary." "I'm certain that's true," I said sarcastically. I was shocked, shocked by the suggestion that I should take Alesha as my,... my catamite. Alesha was a beautiful, wonderful boy with an exciting future as a dancer. I was shocked that his mother could sit in front of me and calmly negotiate his future with a complete stranger with that in mind, that she could even consider that I would be interested in a relationship. But I was interested. My heart was pounding. My penis was hard. My excitement was building rapidly. I thought about saying 'yes'. I said 'no'. "No!" "No?" Randal asked. He appeared surprised. "Sheldon, think about it for a moment." "I have thought about. This isn't right!" I rebuked adamantly. I lowered my voice. "He's a kid! He's only eleven years old." "Yes, he is," Randal replied. "And Ioana was ten when her patron took her in. They tend to start young for obvious reasons." "This isn't Russia, damn it. There are laws, for God's sake. The last thing I want to do is spend the rest of my life in jail." "Okay." Randal shrugged dispassionately. "I'm sorry. I thought you'd be interested." "I'm not," I blurted out. I was interested. I wondered if my heart could take the stress of being close to Alesha. "It's the only way he's going to the Academy," he countered. "Ioana won't take any support from the Russian community in Brooklyn, although they support a lot of less talented kids. I'm not exactly sure why, but she won't." "I said I will provide a scholarship from my money." Randal seemed not to hear or care. "Sheldon, don't say no. This is the chance of a lifetime." I glared at him. "The discussion is finished," I said forcefully. "We had better order lunch," I added as I beckoned to the waiter to come to the table. After a difficult few minutes of trying to make conversation about other subjects, Ioana excused herself. I did not apologize. Neither did she. I watched her leave, both of us still fuming. ACT I, SCENE IV. "Randal! How could you?" I said with exasperation. Randal shrugged. "I guess because I thought it was worth a try. I don't know what you're bent out of shape about, Sheldon. It happens a lot." "What happens a lot?" I demanded. It was difficult to keep my voice lowered so that people at the adjoining tables could not overhear. Randal replied with a 'you-should-know look'. "Oh, you mean child abuse?" I added sarcastically. "I suppose it does, but that doesn't mean I have to be part of it." "Shhh.... You've never been with a boy, I take it, Sheldon?" Randal countered with a whisper. "I mean a young boy. One who isn't legal?" I swallowed. It was tantamount to an admission of guilt. It was the one thing that boy lovers were careful never to do. I did not answer. My silence spoke for me. Randal nodded thoughtfully. "And you loved him too, didn't you?" he continued. "I'm not talking about sex, about picking up some suck-and-fuck Puerto Rican street trash out there." He gestured towards the park. Most of the boy lovers I had met knew where to find boys in New York. The haunts were shared, even the names and telephone numbers of boys who were willing to go around, did not have AIDS, and who were discrete. There were always a few white boys who could be had for a price, but most were older. The younger boys were almost always colored. "I'm talking about love," Randal added. "Real love where you can't live without him. When you love him so much that you want to live with him and you start thinking about adoption." I nodded, less certain. "Then you know what it's like to be a boy lover in the way it's supposed to be," he finished. "Despite what most people think, it isn't about abusing a child. If he wants it, and there's love,..." "You can spare me the lecture. I've been there, Randal, both ways. I'm not proud of what I've done sometimes. I knew it was wrong at the time. I also know there's a big difference when love is involved. There have been a few boys in that category. They're still very special to me. That's why I'm saying this is wrong." Randal studied me with interest. "She was right about you." "I beg your pardon?" "Ioana," Randal answered. He began to push his chair back. "Let's forget this ever happened. I'm sorry about lunch, Sheldon. Send me the bill, okay." I gestured to him to sit down, slowly shaking my head. "Randal, do you have any idea how dangerous this is? If word got out about you and that Washington boy?" His startled expression indicated that my assumption was fact. He smoldered under my watchful gaze. "How?" he asked simply. "I guessed." "I love him, Sheldon. I love him the way its supposed to be." I raised my eyebrows to show disbelief, frustration that he did not appreciate the risk, surprise that he was so transparent. "You're not interested in his brother by any chance, are you?" I asked cynically. That would help to explain the high score that Darius Washington had received in the competition. "Maybe in a year when his brother finishes as the Academy," Randal admitted with surprising frankness. "That certainly explains a few things," I said bitterly. Randal sighed. "Sheldon, it isn't like that. I wouldn't let my judging be influenced by it." "But you would take advantage of a situation if it arose?" He sighed again. "Sheldon, how many male dancers do you think are gay? The ones in the Company, I mean." "Most probably a lot of them," I ventured. "I know of at least four or five of them who are married." "And I happen to know from a mutual friend that at least one of those is bi," Randal smirked knowingly. "I calculated it once, you know. A conservative estimate is close to ninety-percent. Most likely the number is even higher." "Your point being?" "My point is that they go together. Dancing and sexual orientation, that is. It's in the genes. Sure some of it is learned, but the basics are always there from the start. It's one of the reasons why they dance. It's part of the persona. You've seen Alesha. What do you think he is?" I tried to avoid the obvious response. "I have no idea. I've spoken with him for all of a few minutes at most. Besides, he's barely eleven years old. It's much too soon to tell." Randal fingered his nose, rubbing along the ridge. "I knew at nine or ten." He smiled, remembering fondly. "My dance instructor helped me to,... understand." "And I was a teenager," I replied. Part of me wished it had happened earlier. "What I'm trying to say is that it isn't a matter of age," Randal persisted. He touched his head. "It's in here, Sheldon. All gay boys have a little time bomb of desire, ticking away, just waiting to explode into lust. All they need is the right man to come along." "For Heaven's sake!" I muttered. I drank some of the chablis, savoring the taste and color before I put the glass down. Of course, Randal was right. I had seen it for myself often enough. All it took was a gentle push, the right moment, the right person, an opportunity. "Be honest with me about Alesha. What are the odds he's gay?" "I thought I had already answered that question. Seriously?" I asked. Randal nodded. "I wouldn't bet on the odds he wasn't." "He might not even know it himself yet, but his mother is certain that he is. I guess mothers see things in us that we miss ourselves. My mother knew what I was long before I started getting interested in other boys. She had terrible fights with my father about my dance lessons. The last thing Dad wanted was a queer son." "If my mother knew, she never let on to me," I added hopefully, even though my mother was long departed. "Your father died during the Second World War, didn't he?" "He was in France when the Germans counter-attacked through the Dordogne. His fighter was shot down just before the German advance ended. I never knew him, but I expect he would have been a lot like your father," I ended. "Most men are." We stopped talking as the waiter set plates before us. I began eating, enjoying the lobster bisque although it was a little cool. Perhaps it was time to try the Russian Tea Room for lunch. I was getting tired of cold waiters and sometimes-cold food. "The odds are a hundred to one he's not," Randal began. I wavered my spoon in the soup. "Don't spoil the meal, Randal," I commented. He smiled back at me. "You haven't been to the Club for quite some time I hear, Sheldon." "Pardon?" Had I heard him correctly? I had never seen him at Apple- boys. Of course, that did not mean that he had never been there. I did not go very frequently. Without a boy for company there was not much point in going. "We have some mutual friends there," Randal explained obscurely. I wondered who they were. I could not think of anyone that Randal would know, at least not intimately enough to share information like that. "You don't have a lad at present, do you Sheldon? Actually, I'm told the current expression is 'y-f' for young-friend," Randal joked. "It's from the Internet. In fact there is even a website that you ought to check out. Ghoul drool or something like that. " "No, I don't someone," I answered simply. "It's not like I can go down to the Kurfew Club and pick someone up, is it Randal?" He smirked. "That place rocks, but the boys are all too old for you, and you're too old for them. Which leaves you with,.... apple boys," he whispered. He made it sound like two words, innocuous words, instead of the best kept secret in New York City. I turned around suddenly in my chair. It was highly unlikely that any one had overheard. I glared at Randal. "No one heard me," he said confidently. "This place is too crowded. The only problem with going there, as we both know, is it's strictly b-y-o-b. It's okay to look at the boys, but you don't touch them or make a move on them." I smiled. "That's why I haven't been there for a while," I admitted. "That's what I heard," Randal confided. "Do you have any plans for the future?" On the surface it was an innocent question. "I might go to Paris soon. I usually there later in the year," I replied. In truth, I had been considering a trip to Paris. It was impossible to forget Paris in the spring. The boys of Paris, dressed in their fashionable clothes, their eyes flashing as they strolled through the Luxembourg Gardens in the afternoons. Those boys who came in the early evening, often came for things other than simply walking and relaxing with their friends. If you were patient it was usually possible to pick up a boy in his mid-to- late teens. Younger boys were much harder to find. A lot of boy lovers headed off to Thailand. Others went to Turkey. A few of friends had spent an enjoyable summer in Czechoslovakia the previous year, and wanted me to go with them when they returned. "Alesha's just been accepted in the summer program of the Ecole Nationale de Ballet," Randal announced. "His mother told me on the way up here. I'm surprised she didn't bring it up, but considering how things turned out, it wouldn't have made a difference. It's quite an honor, you know, getting accepted into that program. They usually won't take someone that young, particularly with just a videotape audition." "It must be expensive," I said vaguely. "He has a partial fellowship, of course. All the foreign students get one. And Ioana said he's been saving like crazy since he applied just in case, but he'll still need about ten thousand, Sheldon." My jaw dropped. "Ten thousand?" Randal nodded and rattled off the items. "Airfare. His room and board for the summer. Travel when he's there. It mounts up pretty quickly." "I know." I sighed. "Ten thousand though?" Randal nodded again, seriously. It was evident that he expected the Beaufort Foundation to make a contribution if not foot the entire bill. "I'm not promising anything, but I'll look into it," I offered. "How is the soup?" "Excellent," Randal replied. He smiled at me. "What is it now?" I asked with undue cynicism. "He needs braces?" Randal laughed. "No, he has perfect teeth. I thought you would have noticed when he smiled at you. It's just that he could stay at your place in Paris and it would cost next to nothing. Just the air fare and a few thousand for the tuition." "You aren't serious? You are serious, aren't you?" Randal put his elbow on the green baize arm-rest and inclined his head. He did not answer until he had stared at me for what seemed to be at least a minute. "You don't get it, do you Sheldon?" "Get what?" "All of this? What we've been talking about? The ballet scene? You really don't understand what it's like for a boy dancer do you?" "Pardon?" "A truly delightful boy falls into your lap and you push him off. A boy who really needs you too, to make it even worse. That's what you're doing, you know Sheldon. I wish something like this would have happened to me. I wouldn't be a teacher at a ballet school. I could have gone a long way with the right opportunity," he finished. "Such as?" I prompted. "For one thing, I never had the chance to show what I could do. You know as well as I do how most of the good roles are assigned. It's true for just about every form of entertainment. People think it only happens to Hollywood starlets. Sure, we can be cynical and say 'it's not what you can do, but who you do it with', but it amounts to the same thing. You probably don't realize that Peter Burke only got the lead in Romeo and Juliet because he let Olson and two of his faggot friends fuck him for a weekend." "Burke is in his late twenties," I interjected. "He's old enough to make his own decisions. We're talking about an eleven- year-old boy." "You don't have to fuck him, Sheldon," Randal said with exasperation. "What you do with him is entirely up to you,... and him, of course. All I'm saying is you should consider being Alesha's patron. If you were willing, he could live at your house. God only knows it's big enough for a dozen families. You take him with you when you go to Paris,... You do whatever else is important for his career. If the two of you get it off, so much the better." "That's all?" I nearly choked. "He becomes a permanent house guest?" "Take my word for it. He's probably better off living with you in the Upper East Side than in some private boarding house in Chelsea. Raymon was in one before he moved into my place." "Raymon? You mean Raymon Washington?" I queried, guessing at the last name. It made sense. Randal nodded. "He lives with you?" Randal grimaced. "It's not what you think, Sheldon. There is no way I could afford to be his patron. He boards with me and I charge the Foundation. I give him whatever I can afford, but so far it's mostly been clothes and CDs." "You have sex with him?" I had to ask. "Of course, I have sex with him. I told you I liked chocolate twinkies, didn't I?" Randal stretched and ran his fingers through his close- cropped hair. He was still a dancer even though he had not performed on stage for as long as I had known him. "It's been two years now, and we're still going at it like it was the first month. Boys at Ray's age are perpetually horny, I think," he said with a smirk. "There are some mornings when I'm too tired to get out of bed." The idea grew slowly in my mind. However, once the idea was there, it was impossible to hold it back. I considered it from every angle. There were problems but none of them were insurmountable, especially if the relationship was innocent as I intended it to be. I told Randal that I would give the proposal some thought. It sounded as if we were making a business deal. ACT I, SCENE V. I had a chance to think on the way home from lunch. I walked slowly, forgetting about the time, about walking for exercise. I extended my walk through Central Park by visiting the zoo. Usually, there were a few boys to be found, even when they were supposed to be in school. I saw one boy, a red-head who could not have been more than twelve years old. I noticed immediately that he was very good looking, perhaps too good looking. We made eye contact, but only for an instant before he quickly glanced away. He was wearing those shoes with wheels in the heels. With the slightest effort he darted forward. He reached for the hand of the man who had been walking a few paces ahead him. Both were well- dressed, tourists out for the afternoon. They turned the corner. I could have followed. Instead, I turned and went the other way, on my way back to East 78th Street. While I walked, images of Alesha ran, or should I say, danced through my head. I began to realize that Randal was correct. I was being given the opportunity of a lifetime. In fact, knowing how little second-row ballet dancers were paid, the same could be said for Alesha, for his mother would have great difficulty in providing for her talented son. I hummed and practically skipped along, stopping only to watch some boys on their way home from the local city school. There not many children in the Upper East Side, at least in my neighborhood, and none that I knew who attended a city school. The boys laughed and teased each other as only boys can do. Their boundless energy and effervescent happiness and struck a chord inside me so that I nearly laughed with them. Life was good. I was in a good mood and it was not because of the warm sunshine. Perhaps I would stay a while longer in New York instead of going to Paris for the spring. Peters opened the door for me even as I lifted my hand to ring the bell. I invited him to join me in the Parlour, an antiquated name for an otherwise useful room for meeting visitors without having to bring them into the house proper. Like many of the major rooms in the house, the Parlour was oval-shaped with niches in the walls. The architect's use of ovals alone accounted for the distinguishing feature of the curved walls on the exterior. Within the house, pastel hues and floral-patterned cloth-covered walls decorated every room except the Library, which I had refurbished in dark-stained wood shortly after moving back in. One room in the house had to look as if it was a male abode. In the short silence that intervened, it was apparent that Peters had discerned that there was something going on. He accepted my offer of a chair. He sat uncomfortably on the velvet edge, barely resting. It did not matter that he had been employed by the Beaufort family for all of his working life. He was three years older than I was. "Peters, we need to talk," I began uncertainly. "Is there a problem, Sir? Is something wrong?" It always bothered me when he called me 'Sir', but that was his job. Professional subservience. I shook my head. "It's not a problem in that sense, Peters. It's more like a situation that we need to talk about," I explained. "I need your advice." I endeavored to sound as serious and genuine as possible. I glanced through the open door, wondering where the housekeeper and cook were at that moment. Did I need to include them in the conversation as well? They had only been with me for three years and six months respectively. I turned back to meet his eyes. "Peters, I've been made aware of an extremely talented young dancer who requires a place to live in New York. Alesha was unlucky not to win one of the Foundation's scholarships. I had been considering providing a scholarship from my funds, but what I heard during lunch leads me to think that the housing situations for our out-of-town students are far from satisfactory." "Yes Sir. Your mother used to say much the same thing." "Oh?" "She often used to have a student staying here during the season. A girl, of course. It wouldn't be right otherwise, would it?" "She did?" I asked in surprise. "Of course, it was a long time ago. It's been nearly ten years since the last girl stayed here. There was a bedroom set aside on the fourth floor for the girls," Peters explained. "As you might remember, the attic was converted to a dance studio. Your mother even had a private staircase constructed from the bedroom into the attic so it was very convenient for the girls to practice and they didn't have to disturb the rest of the household." I nodded, suddenly realizing in the four years since I had come back to live in the house, I had never seen the attic. Until now, there had been no reason. "A dance studio, you say Peters?" "Yes Sir." "And it's still there?" "Of course, Sir. It's a bit dusty and we've put some unused furniture and a few other things up there, but nothing that couldn't be thrown out or given to charity. I had a call only a few days ago from the Salvation Army. With a day or two of cleaning, the attic would be as good as new. If I remember correctly there's even a set of skylights that your mother had installed. They used to leak for the first year or two." "Really?" I scratched my chin. "And the room on the third floor? What are we using that for presently?" "Nothing Sir. It's been left just the way it was when your mother passed away. It's the room right above yours, Sir, so it looks out onto the Avenue." "Hmmmm. I had no idea. Above my room, you say? It must be quite large then?" I furrowed my forehead, not meaning to frown, but pondering. It was true that there had sometimes been, no, almost always been, young girls staying at the house when I made the three compulsory devoted-son visits; for Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. I presumed the girls who were there, were students who for some reason or another, had been unable to go home for the holidays. My mother was merely ensuring that the girls had a place to stay. "It is, Sir. The ceiling is just a little lower so it appears smaller. Your mother did not think it was appropriate for the girls to be on the third floor with her. I'm sure she thought that people might talk,... rumors and that sort of thing even though she was always careful to have only girls staying." I nodded vaguely. "Tell me more. How old were the girls? Did they stay long?" Peters had to think before he answered. He did not look particularly enamored. In fact, his expression was almost sour, although that was not unusual for him. "Well, it was ten years ago like I said, but I seem to remember that most of them were sprightly young things. Always girls," he emphasized pointedly, "and always giggling and running around the house they were, Sir. They couldn't have been more than thirteen or fourteen when they first moved in. Some of them stayed for several years." "Really. Imagine that. I had no idea. And the girls went to the Academy?" I enquired. "Yes Sir. You might remember your mother used to have a Rolls back then. One of my jobs was to drop the girls off and pick them up every day after school." I nodded again, lifting my eyes to the painting that hung above the fireplace. Like most of the art my mother had acquired over the years, it was Impressionist, although not renowned, not some of the work on the floors above. She was never one to display her wealth. I smiled at the implications of what I had heard. A psychologist might have said that she was infatuated with young girl ballet dancers. In my case, I would be called a pervert. "Peters?" "Yes Sir?" I paused, still thinking, still trying to decide. The slightest mistake could ruin my reputation. Worse, I could go to jail. However, all I could think of was Alesha. This was the opportunity of a lifetime. "If I did offer the room upstairs to one of the students from the Academy,... what would you think about it?" "It would depend, Sir," Peters paused, "on whether it was a boy or a girl." "A boy?" "You mentioned a name, Sir,... Alesha?" He paused, letting the word sink in, as if I needed more reminding. "Isn't that a girl's name?" he added acutely. "It's Russian, Peters. His name is Alesha Yaroshenko. He's just turned eleven years old. His mother is in the Company, but she's leaving soon for a position in Texas. I saw him dance a few days ago. He's very talented and we'd like to keep him here in New York at the Academy." I thought the use of the royal 'we' was a good touch. It sounded as if the request was being made by the Board. In fact, the idea could even be presented to them, and with Randal Wilson's support, it might be made interesting enough to be given their blessing. "Then I think it's a very good idea, Sir. Would you like to see the rooms? They're quite dusty after all this time, at least the attic is, but as I've said, it's nothing we couldn't fix up with a little effort and some cleaning rags." It seemed that the decision to become a patron of the arts, and young ballet dancers in particular, had been made for me more than twenty years ago. As soon as I walked into the attic, I realized that it could be returned to a wonderful dance studio without much work. The room was a long rectangle with a few small dormer windows along the avenue side and larger windows along the atrium side. The light, and the light was abundant, came largely from a row of steeply angled skylights that continued along the same side as the atrium. The room was filled with light, and was made even brighter by the white painted walls. The oak floors, while certainly straight and level and ideal for dancing, were hidden beneath a thick grey layer of dust, which upon gentle scuffing with my foot were revealed to be highly polished. Along both long sides were the requisite wooden bars in front of floor to picture-rail-height mirrors. It did not take very much imagination to visualize a dancer, young, beautiful, agile, stretching, practicing, becoming ever more graceful. Peters led the way across the room to a small changing room and toilet to the left from where we had entered the attic. There, as elsewhere dust had taken over, but again, a few hours of cleaning would make a big improvement. As in bathroom that was next to the main bedroom, my mother had installed a bidet. It was yet another intriguing reminder of my French heritage. Peters turned the handle on the other door and opened it to reveal a very narrow and very steep staircase. "I'm not going down there," I laughed as I stepped through the doorway and onto a dusty landing. "As I said, the stair goes down to the girls' bedroom on fourth floor, Mr. Beaufort. The girls used to use it all the time. That way they didn't have to worry about going through the rest of the house dressed in their ballet tights or disturbing the staff when they finished practising. Sometimes they would work until quite late at night. It was my idea," he added proudly. "And a very good idea too," I muttered, still surprised. "It's rather cleverly concealed, don't you think, Sir?" I looked around uncertainly. "Pardon? What is cleverly concealed, Peters?" "The other door, Sir. If you didn't know where to look, I'm sure you'd never find it." "What other door?" I asked. "The door to your mother's private room, Mr. Beaufort. She wanted to be able to use this toilet as well." "Her private room?" "Your mother liked to come up here and watch the girls practicing, so of course, it made sense that her private room was up here as well." "What private room?" Again, it was the first that I had heard of it. I had lived in the house for four years and I had never ventured beyond the third floor. "Her private room, Sir. I have no idea what's in there. It's been so long since she used to come up here that I had nearly forgotten it was here. It's right through there." He pointed to the mirror. "The mirror?" "The mirror is a door, Sir. There had to be a mirror in here so the girls could put on their costumes. It was my idea." "And another excellent idea too, Peters," I agreed. "I don't see any handle. How does it open?" "There is one on the other side, of course. It's quite simple, but there is a little trick to it. From this side, you need to push here," he indicated and touched the side of the mirror. The mirror-door eased open a few inches and stopped. I laughed. So did Peters. "I'm rather surprised it still works after all these years." "When was all this done, Peters? The stairs and bathroom, and so on?" "It was when your mother had the elevator installed, Sir. That was in, hm,... 1975, or maybe six, I think. When the stairs became too steep for her to climb, she had to stop using them." I took the initiative and walked from the bathroom into my mother's 'private room'. That room was also dusty. The furniture had been covered with linen sheets, yet even before I lifted the first dust-cover away I could still discern the form. A escritoire, of deep, violet-colored amaranth with a dozen different drawers. It was probably from 18th Century France. The chair before it was Art Deco, upholstered in lightly-patterned pale pink silk. By lifting back another sheet I revealed a cabinet with doors paneled with glass work by Lalique. The scenes were ballet dancers. On the polished marble top were glass vessels, a flagon and carafe that were likely done by Orrefors, both delightfully engraved crystal and still holding what looked like different types of sherry. I moved around the white-painted room, removing sheets, studying my finds. My mother had collected from a wide range, yet the ensemble was wonderful. In one of the niches I discovered a marble pedestal and Jean Gaugin's bronze, 'Wounded Bull'. It was so unlike my mother that I laughed before I remembered that Peters was still in the room. There was a round, thick-legged table that was most definitely Empire-style, and held a coffee service by Pomone that was similar to the one I had in my apartment in Paris. The two Rococo chairs were covered with a matching blue-and-pink textile with dashes of lemon yellow, also by Pomone. It was a nice touch, I thought. There was another table whose sole function was to support a large eggshell-glazed pot by Raoul Lachenal. Knowing my mother, at one time it had probably held flowers. I passed by a painting before I stopped and suddenly turned back. Over the years and on one of her many trips to France, she had acquired a small painting by Jean-Francois Millet. I had assumed that it had been sold or deeded to a museum. But there it was, in an ornate gold- leafed frame, a misty day, a peasant's farmhouse, chickens in the yard, and what appeared to be a man sharpening his axe. In both size and detail, the painting contrasted with a thin wood-framed painting on the opposite wall, a modern gauche-and-oil of two dancers, one seated while the other prepared to dance. My next discovery took my breath away. In the second niche was another statue, this time without a pedestal. Instead, there was a small block of variegated dark-green marble, and a statue. By Degas, no less! "I had no idea," I murmured. The work, a ballet dancer, needless to say, was not one that I had seen before, although it possessed the fragile silk skirt that Degas often used for some of his earlier sculptures. The child was arched back, one slender hand extended up, the other bent to balance her pointed leg, emboite. But for the disintegrating dress and the tiny bob of hair behind her head, it could have been a boy. Under the next sheet was a rolled-arm library-chair with carved ivory legs and an ornate back. It needed to be upholstered because there was a yellowish stain in the very center of the seat. I replaced the cover and continued on. The largest sheet was over what appeared to be a large couch. It was placed before the dormer windows that looked out onto the street. I lifted back the sheet to uncover a wide divan, a long, cushioned seat without arms or back. It was upholstered in fur from some exotic animal that was more than likely on the endangered species list on a 'purple-heart-wood' frame. It was the color of a plum. There was to the far side, a hand-tooled brown leather cylindrical pillow, a bolster, of questionable origin, but useful nonetheless. The divan was hardly the sort of furniture that one expected to find outside Europe or the Near East, although undoubtedly there were several antique pieces to be found in the Upper East Side. At the end of the divan was a small straw basket, one that I had sent her years ago. Then, it had been packed with tins of caviar, pate de foie gras, and other delicacies. When I lifted off the lid, the basket appeared to contain dozens of strands and bands of beads and other costume jewelry. I shook my head and wondered why. So far, the room had been very surprising, providing insights into my mother that I had never had before. I uncovered a writing desk, beautifully inlaid with floral motives among burled walnut that extended to its ornately carved legs, that was 19th Century American and had probably been acquired by one of my ancestors. There were several pieces of dainty French porcelain. I opened the doors to a closet, not at all certain what I would find inside. At first glance, I saw a row of gray plastic bags. I knew that my mother had collected ballet costumes over the years but I had no idea where she had put them. I lifted the plastic covering of one costume. It was a delicately embroidered short skirt of very flimsy, peach-colored material. I did not need to see it off the hanger to know that was ideal for a young girl dancer. I ambled back to Peters who had been patiently waiting by the door throughout my inspection. "There is one thing more you should see, Sir," he added. My exploration had taken me around the room, thereby overlooking the sheet-draped form in the center. From its size and shape I had presumed it to be another table with an oversized vase, not unlike the desk had just seen and therefore not worth the effort or trouble in getting myself covered in dust. "It is the 'piece de resistance'," Peters added confidently. He stepped forward, and with a flourish, lifted back the sheet. It had been drained, but it was a fountain nonetheless. There was an alabaster statue of a 'Cupid' in the center of pure white marble basin. "I only came in here once or twice, Sir. There used to be orchids around it." "How on earth did she manage to get that up here?" I laughed. Peters chuckled. "Believe me, Sir, It took quite some doing." He pointed to the skylight above. "When they put that in, they used to crane to lift it up." "It must weigh a ton." "Several tons actually, Sir. I know we had to strength the floor below with steel beams. It was very pretty when it was working. I had the water drained once your mother became too sick to come up here. All the plants would have long since died, of course, so we moved them down to the atrium. They're doing very nicely, although the light isn't as good as it is up here and your mother did have a way with plants." I slowly shook my head in disbelief. So much had been under my nose and I had no idea. Much though I would have liked to continue my exploration of my mother's 'private room', I decided to keep that task for a later time. I was far more interested in seeing the room that would be used by Alesha when he came to stay. ACT I, SCENE VI. The next evening I met Randal and Ioana for dinner at the Russian Tea Room. Of the four floors, I had decided on the traditional experience of the red leather banquette, surrounded by gold samovars, ornate paintings and elaborate chandeliers, and shining green walls. I was anxious to break the news of my decision to both of them, yet I was still having second thoughts. Not that I did not want to be Alesha's patron, because I did, but simply because it was difficult to change after a lifetime of being very careful to conceal my real self. It was difficult enough under ordinary circumstances where I could contain my enjoyment of young boys to very private situations, but to be with Alesha and maintain any semblance or a normal relationship would be close to impossible. I was very afraid of being discovered. However, the decision had been made and Peters had employed the cleaning company to overhaul the attic, my mother's 'private room', and the fourth-floor bedroom. So, I apologized to Ioana and thanked Randal for bringing us back together, and after we had ordered the first and second courses of dinner, I returned cautiously to the conversation of the previous day. Since we were seated in a booth there was little chance of being overheard, yet I tried to appear blase despite my excitement. I wanted everything to go perfectly. So much depended upon it. Still, for the first time in a dozen years, I stuttered when I started to speak. I had to stop and take a deep breath, let it out slowly, and start again. "Ioana, I've been giving what we talked about last time a lot of thought," I began nervously. I glanced at Randal. He returned an encouraging smile as he dipped the spoon into the beluga caviar. Ioana nodded slightly. I clasped my hands. This was the moment that I had feared. Perhaps she had retracted her offer. Perhaps her situation had changed. Perhaps she had decided to remain in New York. Perhaps,.... "Last time I proposed an option, but maybe it wasn't clear, so I'll repeat it. I am going to use my own funds to establish another scholarship for Alesha," I said firmly. "It will cover his tuition and living expenses, and it will have the same travel allowances as the senior dancers get. That's about $10,000 a year, I believe. It will require nothing of Alesha except working very hard at school," I added generously. Randal nodded in agreement. He smiled, crinkling the corners of his eyes. I paused, watching to see her reaction. Ioana said nothing, yet there was relief on her face. The issue of my becoming Alesha's 'patron' in order for him to continue at the Academy was voided. I felt relief as well. "I am also prepared to offer, should Alesha need it, accommodation in my house while school is in session. And in Paris too, should that need also arise." Ioana nodded slightly. She had started to reach for her glass of wine, but stopped with her fingers extended to the crystal stem. "There is a dance studio on the top floor which I am having cleaned, and a very nice bedroom. My staff will do whatever they can to ensure that he is comfortable, including taking him to school and picking him up in the afternoon. I don't think the subways are safe for a young boy by himself." "He would live with you?" Ioana asked softly. "In my house? Yes, if he wishes? If you want him to," I added hopefully. "I can assure you that he will be safe, Ioana. I have two live-in staff, a butler and a housekeeper. And I have a cook come in five days a week who is quite capable of cooking anything he would want to eat," I continued, thinking that most children preferred hamburgers, and hotdogs. "Although her French cuisine hasn't included french-fries up to today." Ioana smiled. "She will not need to learn. Alesha is very careful with his diet." "I'm sure he is," I muttered, thinking of the lithe body I had observed during the competition. "He will not eat very much," Ioana said apologetically. "However, he will always try different foods. Do not worry if sometimes he barely touches his food. When he is hungry, he eats like a normal boy." "You will not be his patron?" she queried. "No! At least not the way it is in Russia." "You do not like boys?" she asked in a subdued voice. She glanced at Randal, her eyes signalling her question. "Um,..." I shrugged. There was no point in denying what I had admitted to Randal on the telephone. Perhaps she had overheard the conversation. "I do," I answered simply. "You do not like Alesha then?" "No! I mean yes, I like him. He's a very nice boy." 'Nice'? What did that mean? Alesha was wonderful, beautiful, brilliant, an excellent dancer. "It's just that, well,... It wouldn't be right. Alesha deserves, he has the right to be the best he can be, without, well, without what it means to have a patron,...." I replied clumsily. I fiddled with the edge of the tablecloth. "I'd like to provide him with that opportunity without any strings attached." She regarded me thoughtfully. Slowly, she smiled. "I think that I like you, Mr. Beaufort," she said cautiously. "I was not happy last time we met. I have good memories of my patron, you understand, but I was a child when I started. I had no choice but to share his bed if I wanted to dance. I do not want that for Alesha." "Alesha will have his own room," I said quickly. She gestured as if another room was of little or no significance. I took it the wrong way. "It is on the floor above my room," I added with more force than I intended. "It is not important." She touched her breast, above her heart. "It is in here that counts, Mr. Beaufort." "Please call me Sheldon," I interjected. "My Alesha needs you,... Shel-don," she said awkwardly. "My son will be gay and it is right that you will be there for him." I glanced at Randal. His hands were folded, fingers intertwined. He had a faint smile. "Um,... Well,... It's probably too soon to tell for certain," I muttered. "I know that he is," she said confidently. "I also know that it will not be long before he begins to discover it for himself." After a sip of her wine, she continued. "I am not surprised. I have known only a few dancers who were not gay. I think to dance, a boy, a man, must be that way. It is in the genes," she ended with conviction. "Maybe a lot are, but it's not absolutely certain," I ventured. "No, that is true. There are a few men who are not. My patron was a very famous dancer, Yuri Garnov. For a long time, he was the best in the Soviet, in the world perhaps. Now, he is the Director of the Moscow Ballet," she said with pride. "He has no interest in men." "Ioana, I think it might help if you told Sheldon why you left Russia," Randal suggested. She inclined her head, then smiled. "I was a girl, just ten years old when I started with my patron, you understand. My parents were poor, and on the Collective, there was not much choice for anyone. I was lucky to win a place in a regional talent show. That helped me get into a children's summer program in Moscow. Yuri was already very rich, and he often came to watch. It was no secret that he was attracted to young girls. He met my parents and they decided what was best, but there was no other choice if I was to continue dancing." She stopped to butter a slice of crusty bread and I picked up the thread by describing a visit I made to Moscow several years earlier. She smiled when I talked about trying to find a taxi to take me around the city for a day. "He had a dacha in the country. A beautiful villa from the Tsarist era," she continued. "It was pink and white. My parents took me there in the Collective's truck one afternoon. I was introduced. Then, they drove off and left me with him. No explanation, nothing!" She paused for dramatic effect. "I lost my virginity within the hour. I was so frightened I could barely speak." "Oh dear. That's terrible." "I knew nothing of sex," she explained with vague amusement. "However, he taught me everything I needed to know within a week, except birth control that is, and I didn't need to know that for six years," she added cynically. "Six years?" "Delayed puberty is not uncommon among dancers," Ioana replied. "I did not have my first period until I was nearly sixteen." She smirked. "I expect Alesha will be the same. He works so hard that it will take nature a long time to catch up. However, it will not be very long before his body has energy for other things. Already he is showing interest in men." "That's one of the things I've noticed as well," Randal admitted with a smirk. Ioana laughed softly. "If there is both desire and time to enjoy before the boy becomes a man, it is more fun for you?" she observed with a friendly gesture that could be interpreted in any of a dozen ways. Randal nodded. "By the time I became a woman, Yuri's interest in me was nearly gone, however, he continued to provide for me. That is the obligation of the patron. It was because of him that I was able to join the Kiev Ballet. I think he was glad to see me leave Moscow, however, when he came to visit, we still made love." Ioana shrugged absently. "Of course, Yuri would never use a contraceptive with me. It took several visits before I became pregnant." "Yuri is,... Alesha's father?" I asked awkwardly. "Yes. You see, my son truly has the genes of a great dancer," Ioana acknowledged with a smile. "He will also be a great dancer." "His father,... your patron, he can't help?" Ioana shook her head vigorously. "That one!" she said vehemently. "He offered the help of one of his friends when Alesha was barely seven. He was still a little boy and that man would have him with a patron!" "You mean?...." I was shocked. The very idea of a seven-year-old boy being in a homosexual relationship with a man in order to continue in ballet school was appalling." "It is why I left Russia," Ioana said dryly. "It is not that I disagree with a patron for Alesha,.... but he was too young. He would be hurt, perhaps so badly that he could not dance. And the man who would have been his patron? He is rich enough, but without breeding it is wasted. He is an entrepreneur." "But eleven is okay?" I mused aloud. Ioana shrugged dispassionately. "When he is ready, he is ready," she said vaguely. "I think if you like boys, Mr. Beaufort,... Shel-don,... you will like Alesha very much." "I like what I've seen so far," I answered respectfully. "I don't think I've ever met such a remarkable young person. Your son is very talented. I'm certain that I will enjoy having him living in my house." "You will be happy together," Ioana continued thoughtfully. "I have talked with him already, and I will do so again so that he understands thoroughly what is expected of him. It is not right that a child knows nothing of sex." "Uh,... well,... I,.... I don't think,.... I mean I know,.... we won't! I wouldn't,..." Ioana gave a little chuckle that sounded like a clucking hen. "He is a boy who likes men and you are a man who likes boys. It is only to be expected you will make love to him. There are things he needs to know before he bends over for you." "Ioana! I would never do that! Not to him!" I said in heated whisper. "You've never been within a boy? But that is what gay men do, is it not?" she asked with amusement. "Well, yes,... ah,... I suppose it sometimes happens,... but not all the time. He's still a boy," I added quickly. I could feel my face becoming redder and redder. "And with Alesha, it's entirely possible for us to be good friends and that's all." She raised her eyebrows mockingly. "No matter! I will still talk to him," she ended with her Russian accent. For a moment I was reminded of the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show on television. Ioana sounded like the ever-plotting Natasha. It was the only one of my favorite shows I watched while growing up that did not have boys appearing in it. "How soon are you leaving for Texas?" I asked, valiantly hoping to change the subject to something less provoking. Ioana glanced at Randal. "I haven't told him yet, Ioana," Randal said. "Sheldon, they've asked Ioana to finish this season with them. It only happened yesterday. She hasn't told Alesha yet, either." "I am worried how he will take it," Ioana added. "He knows he must stay in New York if he wants to become a great dancer. There is nothing for him where I am going." Her voice was sad. "He was hoping that we could go to Paris together for summer. At least for a little while." She sighed and slumped her shoulders. "Now? I do not know what to do. The scholarship you will give him is very wonderful, but it seems it does not come soon enough. I think he will have to come with me to Texas and then come back to New York in the Autumn." "When do you have to leave?" I asked. "We are still talking. However, they want me very soon." "In a week? A month?" "They want Ioana to be in the next ballet they're putting on," Randal answered. "It would be best if she was there quickly. First thing next week would be ideal." He regarded me with undue deliberation. "It would be a pity if Alesha couldn't finish this term at the Academy. He's doing a solo in the Junior Program Graduation Show." I shook my head. Things were never as simple as they appeared on the surface. "I expect that we can have his room ready in a couple of days," I offered uncertainly. "It would mean that it's not redecorated, but it would be clean and comfortable. My mother used to have girls from the Academy staying there before she started the scholarship program. It's a very nice room, but not at all what a boy would like," I explained. "Oh, do not worry about that," Ioana laughed. "Well, my mother had a thing with orchids," I explained. "The walls are papered with a pink and grey floral pattern and the bedspread and curtains are covered with something out of a greenhouse, I'm afraid," I laughed. "It is enough that he has a place to sleep. Besides, he is a sensitive boy. He enjoys the flowers at the Conservatory. Anyway, he will only be there at night, and then the lights are off so he will not see," Ioana reasoned. "Well, at least he could look at it before we do anything," I said. "I'll have it ready by Friday. And the studio too, although all it needs is a thorough cleaning. For that matter, Alesha could even move in right away and stay in one of the spare bedrooms on the third floor until his room is ready." Ioana and I shared a long silence that was almost enjoyable because the caviar was so good. I wondered what was going through her mind. Perhaps it was the same thing that I was thinking about. Alesha. Always Alesha, it seemed. Over the last few days I was preoccupied with him. I had constant ideas about how to redecorate his room, the theater-sound system I was having installed in the attic, and even the new car that I was in the process of purchasing, surely an unprecedented step for me. I turned to Randal, having a problem I needed to solve in that regard. "Randal, I've placed an order for a car," I began. "You! I thought you had forsaken the automobile long ago, and taken to using your feet as your only means of transport," he sniggered. "And taxis too, of course." "Only when it's raining or I'm in a hurry. In fact, I've never bothered to get a driving license." Randal laughed. I laughed with him; appreciative of the opportunity for humor for until then it had been a very serious conversation. Our salads arrived and we began to eat. "The situation is that I've been trying to find a chauffeur," I continued between bites of romaine lettuce. "And I'm not having much luck doing it. Either they are all ex-taxi drivers who don't speak more than a few words of English or they have arrest records as long as my arm." Randal was attentive. He nodded slightly. "And you want someone you can trust, of course. What are the hours?" "It would be best if the person was flexible. He'll be driving Alesha to and from school each day, but once he's there, I usually wouldn't need him until sometime after lunch. He'd be finished by six p.m. Perhaps one or two nights a week? I'm asking you because I thought it might work for one of the dancers," I suggested after a moment's thought. "A driver? Hm,... If the job is anything like I imagine, you'll want him to be discrete, of course," Randal mused. He smiled knowingly. "How much are you willing to pay?" "The going rate, whatever it is, plus a bonus if I'm pleased," I added. "Ideally, he'd be like-minded, wouldn't he? It would simplify things, I'm sure. Would you be interested in an ex- marine?" Randal suggested. My mouth dropped open. "I'm not looking for a bodyguard, Randal." "Probably not, but I know someone who might be interested. A friend of a friend you might say, Sheldon. He was stationed in Okinawa until a year ago. Unfortunately, there was an incident involving a local boy. His name came out in the investigation. He wasn't officially charged with anything, but he still received a dishonorable discharge. He's been looking for work since he arrived in New York." I nodded thoughtfully. "And he can drive?" "Humvees, trucks, personnel carriers, you name it," Randal joked. "He probably drives tanks as well." "Well, the car I'm getting is definitely big enough to qualify as a tank," I laughed. "Have him call Peters, or better still, send him around. I'd like to meet your ex-marine." "You really bought a car because of Alesha?" Randal said, still disbelieving. "Yes. A Bentley Arnage, in fact. God only knows why I need all that power, though. It was the only car they could deliver within a week. I saw it in the show room. It's quite an automobile and my mother always had such good luck with Rolls. I hope things haven't changed now that Rolls Motors have been acquired by Volkswagen, though the Bentley is still hand assembled at Crewe I'm told." I enjoyed some of my Tsar's Salad, in reality a Russian version of a caesar salad before I turned back to Ioana. "Perhaps you had better tell me more about this boy who's going to be living in my house. What have I gotten myself into?" I joked. "He's usually very quiet," Ioana remarked. "He's always been very shy, but the last few months especially so." "Why is that?" I asked curiously. Ioana regarded me for a moment. "He's beginning to discover who he is," she answered ambiguously. Then, she smiled. "I've talked with him, but it must be very difficult for him. He's always known that he's not like other boys. He's accepted that he's different, but it makes him work even harder to be the best." "He sounds like me," Randal interjected. "The other boys in my class constantly made fun of me because I danced. It didn't help that I was never interested in playing sports. And when the few friends I had started getting interested in girls, it was pretty much the end of that. I was lucky to meet someone who cared for me. Of course, it was different then. There wasn't AIDS for one thing, but the gay-bashing was just as bad." Ioana nodded sympathetically. "I've worried a lot about him getting Aids. Most gay men are so promiscuous, especially dancers. I'm sure it goes for boys as well." "Alesha hasn't,... I mean,..... um,... had sex?" His mother smiled. "No, not yet. He'd tell me if he had, I think. We're very close, perhaps closer than a mother should be to her son, but he is all I have. I'll miss him dearly. He'll take my leaving much the same way, I expect." "Sheldon?" I glanced at Randal. He pushed his salad plate away. Within seconds a waiter had removed both plate and fork, refilled our glasses with more of the wine I'd selected, and stepped away. "What Ioana said, about dancers being loose, Sheldon. It's true. It also goes for most of the boys too. Once Alesha starts at the Academy, he'll be fighting them off. And not only boys. His teachers too. Just about every man he'll come in contact with will want him." "Including you?" I quipped. Randal winked. "I'd be lying if I didn't say that I'd be very tempted to try. I know one thing though. I'd have some stiff competition." I chuckled at his innuendo. "I'm surprised you would be tempted. I thought you were interested in young Darius," I added. "I said I'd be tempted, not that I would make a play for him. But trust me, others will. He's a virgin now, but he'll be lucky to last a week before one of the boys gets him alone in a changing room. It won't be rape, but it won't be love either." "Perhaps it would be better if it was a boy who got him started," I suggested half-heartedly. "The psychologists would certainly say so. I'm old enough to be his grandfather." "In Russia, it is usual for patrons to be older," Ioana acknowledged with a smile. "A young man has neither the money nor the interest in the welfare of his protege. Besides, I expect Alesha will look upon you as the father he's never known. I don't think it will take very long before he falls in love with you." I felt my cheeks flush. Ioana spoke so candidly about things that I concealed with almost fanatical zeal. And so did Randal, for that matter. It would be easy to convince myself that it was because I had much more to lose. "And he'll be safer," Randal added. "I would not have introduced you to Alesha and his mother, Sheldon, if I thought there was the slightest possibility of you hurting the boy in any way." He paused. "It isn't common knowledge, but we had a problem last year." "Yes?" I gestured for him to continue. "One of our older boys was diagnosed with AIDS." He shook his head sadly. "Fortunately, we caught it in time before he passed it around. There are several of us, teachers who know what it's like for them,... We talk privately to the boys. I've even managed to locate a pharmaceutical supply place who will sell us condoms by the box. The boys know where to find them. Some do," he added, leaving the implication unstated. "Mr. Beaufort,... Shel-don,.... I must ask. I'm sorry, but it would wrong if I did not..... Do you?...." I quickly shook my head. "No, thank God! I was lucky. When I was younger,.... Um, and I was more active, shall we say,... it wasn't a problem. I've been very careful to use a condom if there's even the slightest risk of infection. Of course, I will get myself tested to make sure,..." I added gratuitously. Ioana did not respond. Our dinners arrived. I had chosen a coulibiac of salmon, in puff pastry and champagne sauce, a choice that was equal to anything I had eaten at the Tavern on the Green. It struck me, as I ate with gastronomic relish, that with a Russian boy in tow, I would probably be eating often at the Russian Tea Room. END ACT I. INTERMISSION