Date: Wed, 25 Dec 2002 19:04:48 -0600 From: Fredric L. Brothers Subject: "SUMMER WITH VAL" Chapter 12 (Part 1) Disclaimer: The following story is a homoerotic work of fiction. It involves sex between adult men and minor boys and between minor boys. If you find this disturbing, please leave. Your mission is now completed. I would appreciate any and all comments you may have. Email: FLBROTHERS@hotmail.com ---------------------------------- SUMMER WITH VAL ---------------------------------- By Fred Brothers Copyright (c) 2002 by Fredric Law Brothers (All Rights Reserved) NOTE CAREFULLY: The following work is intended solely for private, individual use. It may not be reproduced, distributed or posted on additional web sites without the expressed written consent of the author. To do so is in violation of copyright laws. Chapter 12 (Part 1) - Val ----------------------------------- Shit! Was that ever the ride down from Seattle! I still call it the trip from hell! Like, we do the whole thing in way less `n two days but it seems t' take forever. Zack's idea is t' do it all in one day but he gets too tired driving so we stop for one night at a motel near Medford. That's in Oregon. Me and Zack don't talk. Like if we say ten words t' each other during the whole trip it's a lot. Dinnertime's the worst! Total silence! All ya can hear's the clinking of forks and knives and plates. Had t' be two a the worst days of my life. Me and Gabe do a lotta talkin'. I don't think Zack hears much `cause he's always on the phone or listening t' music through headphones. I tell Gabe how happy I am livin' with Zack `til he starts findin' fault wit' everythin' I'm doin' and I can't seem t' do anythin' right. I start cryin' a few times `cause I really want t' stay wit' Gabe and Zack but I know it won't be good. Gabe agrees. Me and Gabe sleep together and I cry some more. I just can't help myself. I worry `bout livin' wit' my auntie and uncle, and my girl cousins - they're all older `n me - and gettin' used t' a whole new bunch a kids in school, `bout having no hands and `bout bein' liked. He puts his hands on my stumps. I tell him I like that so he begins t' rub `em. When he rubs `em I settle down. It's nice and soon we fall asleep. But durin' the night I wake up `cause I can't sleep and I'm havin' some real bad dreams. Gabe wakes up and sees me sittin' in a chair. He knows I'm cryin' `gain and gets outta bed and comes over t' me. I throw my arms `round him and hug him tight. I'm tremblin' and can't stop. We both go to the bathroom t' piss and Gabe helps me, holdin' my dick so I can pee straight. He puts cold water on my face and dries it. We go back t' bed. I have my head on his chest and he's holdin' me with one arm. I'm still cryin' and he rubs my back all gentle like and I like it a lot. He also rocks me a little and I get okay - no more cryin' and no more shakin'. "Thanks Gabe. I'm feelin' so lonely. I feel like everybody's...everyone's wantin' nothin' t' do with Val. I know deep down nobody loves me." I give out a big shudder. "Thanks so, so much." "No need t' thank me Val. Ya my best friend and I hate t' see ya upset and all. But what ya mean nobody loves ya?" "Ya know what I mean, don't ya? I mean my daddy walks out on me. My mom ups and goes t' stupid school and I don't hardly see her no more. And now.and now Zack don't want me neither. I can't get no one t' take me...t' love me...and want me...want me for real." I start cryin' hard `gain and Gabe's `fraid that I'm gonna be wakin' up Zack in the nex' room. I get quiet. Gabe's still holdin' me and I like the feel of his bod `gainst me. I'm startin' t' feel good...like I useta when Zack holds me. I look close at Gabe and he seems t' smile a little. I know I wanna be with him and for us t' do things...ya know, nice things together. "Ya wanna play together?" I ask in a very low voice. "Play?" he says. "Yeah. Ya know, play. Play with each other...like, play with each other's bods...and other things too." He's surprised when I say this. He looks sorta `barrassed. "I...I never done nothin' wi-with no one," he says. "I don't know, Val." But then he thinks about what I say and he smiles and nods. "Like I say, I never done nothin', but I know I wanna do it with ya the most. So sure, if ya'd like t' do it with me. I think it'll be great and I think I'll like it...like it very much." I give Gabe a big smile `cause I'm so happy that he wants t' be with me. I start rubbin' my arm stumps slowly over his chest and over his tiny, cute titties and then ont' his belly. I do it real gentle and I know it feels good t' him `cause he closes his eyes and puts his head back and I can hear him moanin' softly. It feels good t' me too. Now I rub his titties harder with one stump and wit' the other I rub his arm and then his belly and then the top a his smooth thigh. I move one of `em to his smooth and damp underarm pits and he can't help but moan even louder. It feels incredible t' me too. My whole bod's tinglin' and I'm startin' t' breathe hard and fast. I open my eyes and look at Gabe. He looks back. I don't know what my eyes look like but his eyes are filled with tears - and also filled with deep feelin'. I know Gabe likes me and I also know that I like him a lot. As we look at each other we don't say one word but our lips get closer and soon we kiss. At first, it's light. I like the feel of Gabe's lips on mine. They're warm and soft and smooth. I move the end of my arm t' the back of his head, rub him a little, and pull him close t' me. The light kiss soon becomes a harder one as I feel his lips and mouth pressin' down on me. And then I feel his mouth open a little and his tongue comes out and he's lickin' my lips and I'd scream from all the excitement only I can't, of course. Gabe's tongue's strong and soon I open my mouth and he slips it in. He's feelin' up my whole mouth with his tongue and I know my body's bouncin' on the bed somethin' terrific. I'm feelin' dizzy but it's a good kinda dizzy. I start suckin' on Gabe's tongue and he likes it `cause I can hear him moanin' int' my mouth and wigglin' his butt all `round. I move one a my stumps to his hard dick and touch it light.and also his little danglin' balls. I rub `em very light as we go on t' kiss deep. Gabe seems t' get his courage `cause I can feel his hand movin' on my belly and then movin' down `til he's pettin' my hard dick and my balls. The feelin' `tween my legs is just incredible! And so's the feelin' in my whole body! Gabe's so gentle and knowin' that it's him doin' it t' me is drivin' me crazy. Meanwhile, I feel him up using my stumps and legs. I rub my legs `gainst his sides and I use my arms t' rub his face and his shoulders and chest and underarms and belly and dink and balls. Gabe's skin's so smooth and it feels great `gainst my stumps. I like it that I'm able t' make him feel this good. We're both gettin' hotter and hotter. It's just awesome! We both explode almos' at the same time! I'm breathin' heavy and I totally love the feelin' in my whole body. When I open my eyes, Gabe's right next to me and he's smilin'. I smile back. "That's some come ya had," I whisper in his ear. "Come?" he says. "Yeah, come. Ya reach a big high - ya know, a big sex high. It's what happens when men get real sexy." He really don't understand what I'm talkin' about. I ask him some questions and he starts tellin' me everythin' he knows. It ain't much. I tell him about how a man's dick gets hard when he thinks about makin' love and how grown-up men spurt white stuff from outta their dicks. This stuff makes babies when men and women fuck. Then I gotta `splain what fuckin' is. After this he says he wants t' rub my stumps more. I nod, givin' him a shy smile. Our dinks are both still very hard. I lift my stumps and he puts one hand on the end a each of `em. He rubs `em real gentle- like and I say t' rub `em harder. So he does. I close my eyes and make little sounds `cause I'm so happy and he's makin' sounds too. "Could ya lick on `em, Gabe? Pleeeeease? And suck `em too? I love that." "Sure, Val. I'll do whatever ya want." So, he does, kissin' and lickin' my stumps, and he seems t' like it very much - and so do I...a lot! I feel my body gettin' all tingly `gain as he's rubbin' and kissin' and lickin'. I lean over and kiss him - a great big loving kiss. "What's that?" he asks lookin' at my hard dink. "It's my dick, stupid!" I'm havin' trouble talkin' `cause I'm breathin' so hard and now he's laughin'. "I know it's your dick, dumbo. I'm talkin' about that thing on the end. That thing hangin' over the end of ya dick." "Oh, that? That's my foreskin." "Foreskin? What's that?" "It's a coverin' men got on their dicks from the time they's born." "If that's true, buzzhead, how come I ain't got one? Huh?" I start punchin' him light on the chest with my right arm. By now we're both gigglin' and rollin' `round the bed. "'Cause it's cut off when ya born" "Cut off? It was c-c-cut off?" He seems very mixed up now. "Something a part a me was cut off when I'm a tiny baby?" "Yeah! Right after ya born the docs cut off ya foreskin. That's why the head of ya dick shows. They call it circum...uh...circumcise...I think. Yeah, that's right! Circumcise. Ya got a circumcise dick and I got a uncircumcise dick. See? Someone tells me that mos' men here got circumcise dicks. They's cut and I'm uncut. Understand? In mosta the world they don't cut a boy's dick when they's born." He nods slow but still looks real confused. "Was this `cause ya black and I'm white?" "No, it ain't got nothin' t' do wit' being black or white. It's just the way it is." "Oh," he says quiet. We're lookin' at each other and smilin'. "Ya wanna play `round more and maybe...well, ya know...maybe I can suck...on ya dink?" Gabe seems shocked and don't know what t' do or say. "Suck on my dink? Ya wanna suck on my dink?" "Yeah. It's a lotta fun. Really! Ya put it in my mouth and I suck on it real hard and then ya body starts jumpin' `round the bed and ya feel real, real great. Wanna try it?" He thinks `bout it. "Okay. Yeah. Sounds good." I know he ain't quite sure but finally he smiles and says, "Yeah, lets do it. Sounds great! Maybe I can do it t' ya too?" "Right! If ya wanna. It's real, real great! You'll love it a lot. I love doin' it and also havin' someone doin' it t' me. It's awesome!" Gabe stretches out on his back and I kiss him. It's a big slobbery, sloppy smoochy kiss and we giggle a lot when it's over. I kiss his neck and down his chest and I kiss and lick his cute pink titties. I love the feelin' a his pointy little nubs on my tongue and I'm gettin' so `cited I bite `em a little. Gabe starts moanin' and he moves his arms to my butt and is rubbin' me real hard. He even moves his hands down t' the toppa my butt crack. Soon I see the creases of his underarms so I move over t' one `a `em and lick the skin. Gabe gets very hot up and lifts his arms up int' the air. Now I get t' see his whole armpits and they're beautiful. So I rub my lips on one and give it a good slobbery wash wit' my tongue. It taste strange and a little funky but I like it and Gabe must love it too `cause he's squealin' and wavin' his arms a bunch and bouncin' his butt. I move so I can do his other pit and he starts makin' even more noise. Now I'm real scared that Zack's gonna hear us so I tell Gabe t' try t' be quiet. He just smiles at me then makes a face and rubs the sides of my face and then rubs up and down my arms - all over. Zack bangs on the door connectin' the two rooms. Luckily, he don't come in, just tells us t' be quiet and that he needs his sleep `cause of all the drivin' he's doin' tomorrow. We say we'll be quiet and we'll go t' sleep now. But we don't go t' sleep. We hold each other and then I start workin' on Gabe's great bod again. Bein' with him and holdin' him and makin' out with him's so great. Both our dinks're hard and rubbin' together. I bend my head down t' his crotch and put my face int' his dick and balls. Gabe has a wonderful smell here. He smells so much like Gabe, the smell I know for so many years, only more strong. I know he's lovin' it `cause he's makin' all those little yips and squeaks. I don't really know if I'm doin' everythin' right, but I'm doin' what I'm doin' `cause Gabe seems t' like it a lot and that's the best sign there is. I nex' rub my lips over his thighs and he gives out a moan. I tell him less noise and he says he's tryin' but it ain't easy. I kiss all the skin near his crotch area, specially the smooth skin over his dink. I can feel my hard dick rubbin' on Gabe and also the sheet. Then I move and take a quick lick at Gabe's stalk. His dink's real pretty and thin. It taste good and's so smooth. It's standin' straight up and it's a little darker `n his skin. I can also see his brownish ball bag and his two small nuts. I start rubbin' one a my stumps up and down his stalk and gently pushin' and rubbin' it int' his balls. I can't help kissin' `em and start lickin' `em wit' everythin' I got. Gabe starts pushin' his hips up and tryin' t' make his dick go deep int' my mouth. So I let it. And it feels so awesome on my tongue. It's like havin' a piece of really creamy candy meltin' in my mouth. I slowly close my mouth `round Gabe's hard dick. I can feel it movin' on my tongue. And then I begin t' suck on him. I suck like I'm tryin' t' get something thick up through a straw like a MacDonald's shake. "Oh, Christ! This.this is suh-super great!" Gabe says. He moves his arms t' my head and starts strokin' my cheeks and neck and rubbin' his hands on toppa my head. God! I love when he touches me! It gets me so excited that I start suckin' on his dink even harder and harder and faster and faster and soon his bod starts movin' all kindsa strange ways and he' moanin' a lot and makin' all sortsa queer noises. Then I feel that he's pushin' my head away with his hands. "Sorry, Val, no more...please...no more!." He pantin' hard and has trouble speakin'. "It's gettin' to...much to tingly down there and... it's...it's beginnin' t' hurt." I pull my head `way and move up besides Gabe and he kisses me hard and I kiss him back and I hold him close t' my body and he holds me close too. "Did ya come?" "Yeah, I think so. It feels awfully good!" We kiss `gain and hold each other close and the next thing I know the phone's ringin' wit' our wake up call. We drive t' Berkeley the nex' mornin' and don't even stop once after we eat breakfast. I don't wear my hooks and Gabe holds my stumps and rubs `em light as we ride along. We both sleep `cause we don't get much last night. I put my head on his lap and it feels so great bein' together. Gabe now says he wants t' talk t' Zack `bout lettin' me stay but I say no. I'm `fraid Zack'll just get angry all over `gain. ----------------------------------- Elise and auntie and uncle came to pick me and all my stuff up. Nobody speaks. Me and Gabe hug tight and I kiss him. We drive off. We promise to call each other every week. Zack ain't there; I think he's hidin' in the house somewhere. That family working for Zack causes a lotta problems - Eric (the kid with the club foot) and Alicia and the old people seem okay but the mother's real screwed up. I think she's a nut job, maybe she even got a drinkin' problem. She's real ready for the loony farm and for havin' wires put int' her head. Zack throws `em out. He hires Kitty, the waitress, and her husband Ralph t' work. They bring their son Sammy, the kid who also's got no arms. ----------------------------------- It's only a few days after I get t' Santa Barbara and I'm still not set yet and Gabe calls from Hollywood. He says the place's great and that he's havin' a super time and that I should come down and get in on some fun. So, the whole family goes down there. Zack's studio's payin'. We thank him a lot. They do everythin' includin' limo rides. Auntie, uncle and my cousins all love it. We go t' Universal Studios and get treated extra special like seein' the backstage areas and how the rides work and meetin' a lotta important people. We eat in those extra special Beverly Hills places and we get terrific service. Everybody's happy! The bosses really know how t' treat people right. One night, before I go t' my room, I visit Gabe and Zack in their bungalow. The place's real big and comfy. There's two bedrooms, a small kitchen, and a great big livin' room with all kindsa gadgets and TVs and movies and all. Gabe shows me everythin'. Zack's there too but he don't even look at me so I don't say nothin' t' him. He goes t' his room and closes the door. I sit on one a the couches. I'm feelin' lonely and I know that Gabe knows. He sits down next t' me and puts a arm `round my shoulder, like he's tryin' t' make me feel better. "What's wrong Val? Ya can tell me. I'm ya friend. Remember?" "That ain't true. I got no friends." I get up quick and walk t' the door. "I gotta go. G'night Gabe." "Please don't go Val. Please? Lemme get some snacks and then we can talk or watch a movie. Okay? C'mon. Maybe ya like t' do other things to...like we do...you know, like we do in that motel...up in Medford...on the trip back? What d' ya say?" I smile a little and nod and follow Gabe int' the kitchen and plop down in a chair. Gabe gets out some Cokes and taco chips and salsa and cheese puffs and we eat and drink. I suddenly bang my hooks on the table. I don't know what makes me t' do it but it really scares Gabe. He jumps and knocks his Coke on the floor. "It's these fuckin' hooks!" I say loudly. "What?" "It's these fuckin' hooks. That's why I ain't got no friends!" Gabe just stares at me not knowin' what t' say. "Well, it's true, Gabe. It's goddamned true! It's these fuckin' things I got f' hands that keeps people away from me...and why nobody wants me...or loves me." "Shit Val! You know that ain't true? Right? Lotsa people love ya and want ya. I mean I can see that. I can see how much your auntie and uncle and all the cousins love ya." He stands behind me and rubs his hands on my shoulders and I'm feelin' a little better. "I suppose," I say very quiet. We start eatin' `gain. "Ya really think the reason ya got no friends - say ya ain't got no friends - is `cause of ya hooks?" "Yeah!" I say quiet. "But Zack useta be very friendly and he don't hate ya hooks. Ya say he likes `em." "Yeah! And look what happens wit' me and Zack! He starts pickin' on everything I do and we fight and I say I don't want t' stay wit' him no more. Now I'm in Santa Barbara." "I thought ya say ya like Santa Barbara?" "Yeah. Well...I...uh...yeah...I like it." "So what's wrong?" I'm all quiet for a while. I start cryin' again. My nose's runnin'. "I miss Zack," I say in a low voice. "I miss him a lot, Gabe. I wanna be wit' him." "Christ, Val, I really didn't know that's how ya really feel." He shakes his head. "Ya know, it's hard for most people t' live with Zack and we miss him when he's away from us but most people seem t' get enough of him very quick." He laughs a little. "Ya wanna know somethin'? Sometimes I start wondering how long I'll be able to live with him this time. I'm hearin' what Gabe's sayin' and I know he's sayin' the truth and he's tryin' t' make me feel better and make me forget `bout Zack. "Ya know when Zack and me are drivin' down here, he has t' pull the car off the road once cause he's cryin' so hard that he can't see t' drive. Maybe he misses ya, too? He tells me he's cryin' `cause he's tired what with the trip t' Seattle and now t' Hollywood and it's just a lotta stress and he's all wrung out. But I'm thinkin' now that it's `cause he misses ya!" "I really miss him, Gabe." He gets up and comes over t' me. I know my face's a mess. He gives me a tissue and I dry my tears and blow my nose. He puts his arms out, then `round me, and hugs me tight. I do the same t' him and I love the feel of him holdin' me and me holdin' him. We walk slowly int' Gabe's bedroom. He closes the door and starts getting' undressed. I do the same and soon we're t'gether in bed and we're naked. I'm holdin' Gabe and he's holdin' me. He moves his hands t' feel the ends of my stumps and the scars and the skin. We kiss and I love the feel of his soft lips on mine. "Ya a great friend, Gabe." He smiles and slowly moves his hand up my arm until his fingers are on my face. He slowly moves one finger around my eyes, over my eye brows, down my nose and over my lips. I kiss his wonderful finger, takin' it slowly int' my mouth and suckin' on it light. "Ya wanna?" he asks. I nod and give him a big smile. He smiles back. ----------------------------------- Next week Gabe calls from Berkeley. Zack was tossed out by the studio and they're back home. Zack never tells him why but one studio guy tells Gabe it was `cause Zack was makin' lotsa trouble on the set and the actors and the director and even the filmin' crew can't stand him. They almos' walk out. So the big Hollywood trip was a fuckin' disaster. Gabe also says that Zack asks him all kindsa questions `bout me but that he don't tell him nothing. He says that Zack deserves what he gets `cause he treats me so terrible and is such a shit! ----------------------------------- It takes me a coupla months t' get useta livin' here but I really got t' like it here with my auntie, uncle and cousins. I got my own room. Actually, it's the glass back porch. They change `round things a little and move some bedroom furniture in. I like it. I got a computer wit' games and twin beds and a CD player. I go to a great school. I've "adjusted well;" those're the words my shrink says `bout me. Uncle's a postal worker and he's never gone "postal" or knows anybody who did. Auntie's a social worker and they both like what they do very much. There're a coupla reasons I think I like it so much. The first is that I love auntie and uncle very much and they seem to love me too. The second is that three girls are all very cool. We get along just great. I mean when I first get here it's a little hard gettin' useta all the people in the house. I never live wit' so many people in one place before. It's noisy and it's crowded and we bump into each other a lot but after a few weeks everything starts t' run smooth. The third reason is I find nice friends. I first meet `em in the neighborhood when I'm by myself playin' in the streets and they're ridin' their bikes. One comes up t' me when he sees I'm watchin' `em. He seems t' be the leader of the group. "Hey, man," he says. "Hey, yaself," I say back. "Ya live here?" "Yeah. I just move in wit' my auntie and uncle in this here house." I point t' it wit' one a my hooks. "Cool." He's starin' at my hooks and then gives me a big smile. I think he's cute, wit' red hair and lotsa freckles and all. "I'm Big Eddie and this is the gang. Ya gotta a bike?" "Yeah, I got a new one in the garage. I'm Val." Big Eddie puts out his hand and I put out my hook and we shake. I'm so surprise he does this-he really touches my hook. I shake hands wit' the others too. "Well get it man and come ride wit' us." So, I get out my bike and I go wit' `em. They seem nice. It's a real mixed group - boys and girls, whites, blacks and Latinos. Big Eddie's the shortest kid in the bunch so I reckon his name's sorta a joke but someone says t' me that he's the toughest one. "Why ya wear them hooks, man?" Big Eddie asks me. I stare at him. I'm surprised it took this long for him t' ask. "They hadda cut my hands off a few years ago `cause they was burnt bad." "Hey, too bad. Sorry. How'd ya burn `em so bad they had t' cut `em off?" I'm a little ashamed and I really don't wanna tell `em everythin' so I just say it was a real bad accident and when I wake up in the hospital afterwards my hands are gone and my arms are just wrapped in heavy bandages. I see that Big Eddie's almos' always lookin' at my hooks and how I move my arms and all. Does he like `em? Or is he turned off by the sight of `em? "Can I touch `em?" another kid asks. "Sure!" I say, and then they all take turns touchin' `em and smilin' at me. "Lets ride!" Big Eddie says and we're soon off pedalin' down t' the water. We all become great friends and hang together at school and after. Big Eddie ain't much taller `n me though he's supposed t' be three years older. He looks more like a young kid. "Are ya black?" one a the kids asks. "Yeah, I am." "Ya don't look so black." "My dad's white," I say and one a the other kids says his mom's white and dad's black. ----------------------------------- Gabe and his buddy Sammy come down t' stay wit' us a coupla times. We have lotsa fun together. We all sleep in my room and it's great. Sammy's handsome, I suppose, and his skin's rather darkish and his eyes a little slanty. He's tall and not skinny. And of course he's missin' his hands just like me. Gabe tells me his arms end `bout two inches after his elbows so his stumps're a lot shorter `n mine. But the strangest thing `bout Sammy is that when I look at him I don't know what he is. I mean sometimes he looks white, sometime he looks black and sometimes he even looks Chinese. So, one night at dinner, I ask him, cause he makes a comment about the American Indians, `cept he calls `em "Native Peoples." "It's funny that you should ask me that Val. I've never figured out the exact percentage, but I know I'm part while, part black African, by way of the Caribbean, part Polynesian, part Chinese and part Native American. I'm quite a mutt, ain't I?" Uncle laughs a bit. "We're all mutts," he says. "That's what makes America so great. People from all over the world come here for a better life for themselves and their families, they become part of the mainstream, they intermarry and presto! The real American emerges. The best part of each person's heritage emerges." He laughs. "And besides, everyone knows that mutts are the smartest dogs." On the second day I know Sammy, I ask how he loses his arms. We go t' my room and I lock the door so we can be alone and we both take off our hooks. We look at each other's stumpy arms and I touch my stumps t' his stumps. It feels so good t' me and Sammy seems t' like it a lot too. His stumps have more scars `n mine but mine have burn scars. "What happened?" I ask him. He don't answer, just looks at me. Then he says "Fireworks," in a very low voice. "Fireworks?" He nods. "How?" He shakes his head. You first." So I tell him the whole story `bout me and why they have t' amputate my arms. For Sammy I add in parts I don't tell other people `cause he goes through the same thing I do - like the pain and the feelin' that ya arms're still there, reaching for things, the wrappin' a the stumps, the weeks in rehab wit' all the problems, and the really worst problem - goin' t' the toilet. We laugh at some things but we know it's real serious. "Okay," I finally say, "ya turn." "Yeah, I don't mind telling ya Val `cause ya the same. We been through all kindsa hell the same way, ain't we?" He takes a deep breath and begins. "Well, it's simple. I'm holdin' a Roman candle on July 4th watchin' all the sparks and colors comin' out the end and it suddenly explodes - explodes right in my hands. The noise was terrible and I couldn't hear what's goin' on all `round me. The explosion also scarred and burned by face here, here and here." He points out some scars on his face and chin. "I have some plastic surgery t' fix my face." He looks down at his stumps then raises `em a little. "The police tell me later that it was defective...or that somebody rigged it-ya know, monkeyed with it. Anyways, it blew away my hands and wrists." "Yeah, okay, but ya missin' more `n ya hands and wrists." "I know." I see tears gettin' int' his eyes. "I get bad infections in the stumps and the docs gotta take off more from both arms. They fly me by helicopter t' a different hospital." "Really? Ya been in a helicopter?" I say all excited. "Yeah," he says in a whisper. "I been in one. But it ain't no fun. Besides, I can't hardly remember it. Just a lotta noise." We hug each other since we know all the problems facin' young guys like us. Over the next few days me and Sammy trade lotsa stories `bout havin' no arms and how we do different things. I like talkin' t' him a lot. Everybody gets along great. Gabe and Sammy feel very welcome. They're real sad t' go back to Berkeley and after what Gabe tells me I can understand why. He thinks Zack's goin' bonkers...I mean, losin' his mind. The first thing he tells me when he gets here, and the two of us're alone, is about Zack and how he's behavin' now and how he's doin' strange things. Sometimes Gabe has so much t' say that he just goes on and on and I haveta stop him `cause I'm not understandin' everythin' he's sayin'. "It's no fun living with the old man," he says, "and that's what he is now - a real old man. He don't do nothin' but write. Oh, we sometimes take a vacation or go t' a ball game but he's totally not fun to be wit'. And he writes all hours of the day and night so I never know if I even see him. "Anyways, Zack's cranking out two books a year and sometimes even more. But his publisher only puts out one a year; so the old man is building up a pile of unprinted books. He likes that `cause he says this way he won't have t' work so hard in the future. Bullshit!" He sighs and shakes his head. "But still he works and works and I gotta tell ya he looks like shit. And he's losing a lotta weight, he don't go out into the sun and ain't interested in anyone. He goes out at night and I don't have no idea where he goes. Sometimes he don't get back `til mornin'." He looks at me very serious, with big, sad eyes. "One thing I'm sure of Val is that he misses ya a lot. He never mentions ya name; but once, when I let ya name slip, he just gives me a hard stare and then leaves the room quick." I look at Gabe and shake my head. "I think he's really hurtin'...over a lotta things." "And you're number one on that list." I look at him and he nods at me. "He starts carin' for nothin' `round the house `cept Louis and Billie. He fusses over `em somethin' fierce and gives orders that only he can feed `em. He makes up about ten rules, which means, as Sammy says, `We gotta stay the hell away from them dogs.' Even the dogs don't like it much and they run away every time they see him. Sammy and me just crack up when it happens." ----------------------------------- The nicest friend I make's an older guy. His name's Colin and he's Janice's boyfriend. Janice's my cousin and she's nineteen and Colin's nineteen too. They go to college together at UCSB. He's real tall and thin but got a real nice body and plays on the basketball team and the man's track team and he's sorta a dweeb and smart but real nice t' me and teaches me t' play basketball and even takes me surfin' in the ocean. He's totally great. Colin's from Jamaica and speaks English in that wonderful singa-songy Jamaica way. I love hearin' him talk. After I move down here I don't do sex anymore with no one like what I did with Zack so I'm back to taking care a myself. It's okay I suppose but I love how Zack and me useta play together and how wonderful I feel when he touches my body and sucks my dink and balls and how much he loves my arm stumps and lets me know how much he cares for me. The beaches here in southern California are great and we go a lot. Most everyone's got a surfboard. Even my girl cousins got `em. Colin takes me out a coupla times when the waves ain't too high and after being scared the first few time I begin t' love it. We paddle out t' catch a wave, we lay down on the board and Colin's in fronta me. He paddles hard and I love ridin' over the waves. I get on the board behind him. He spreads his legs and I lay my head on his butt and put my stumps on his back. He squeezes me with his legs t' hold me on the board. Then he paddles us both out. When he spots a nice one, not too big, he stands up and then helps me up. I get my balance and stand in fronta him and he puts his arms under my arms so that the length of his arm from the elbow to the fingers is right under my elbows and stumps. He hold my stumps tight and we ride the wave. It's fabulous. I love every second of it. If we flop off Colin first gets me and then gets his board. We surf with lotsa other people and sometimes they help get the board if he can't reach it while he's holdin' on t' me. I don't wear my hooks at the beach `cause sand and salt screws up how they work and fit. I get used t' people starin' at me. Auntie always makes sure that I have coverins on my stumps and my shoulders so that I don't get any kinda sunburn. If I get a sunburn it wouldn't be good `cause I wouldn't be able to wear `em. Black people get sunburn too. A coupla times when me and Colin's at the beach Big Eddie shows up. He hangs `round a little ways from us but's always lookin' in our direction, like he wants t' be with us but he never comes over. I get a little pissed off. I mean, he's nice enough and all but he's interruptin' my time together wit' Colin and we ain't got that much. And he's always alone - none a the gang's wit' him. When the weather gets colder and rainy and we don't go t' the beach or play outside, Colin and the some other guys teach me t' play basketball. I like it and get pretty good. He shows me a guy wit'out arms playing basketball for his high school team. I ask Colin where he gets the picture and he says he gets it from the Internet. He asks if I wanna see more pics like this and I say yeah. So he brings a disk and he puts it in the computer and he shows me about fifty pics of these guys - you know, guys wit' arms and legs cut off. And they're all playing sports like swimmin' and runnin' and even basketball and baseball and wrestlin' and soccer. I think they're great and it reminds me a the time when I'm scared t' go swimming and Zack shows me the pics of swimmers who lost arms. Colin's real cool. I sit on his lap as we look at the pics and he puts his arms `round me. And then he kisses me on my ear and I giggle and he rubs my stumps so gentle like. I pick up my arms just as I useta do with Zack and he rubs `em more and then he begins to kiss `em very light. I smile at Colin and he smiles back at me and he kisses me on the forehead. He moves one of his hands over my chest and rubs me through my tee shirt. Then we hear a car drive up and he pops the disk and we go out. ----------------------------------- I really, really like school - it's awesome. The teachers're great and I'm in some special classes and learnin' Spanish and special math and lotsa readin' and even writin'. Auntie says it's a real special entrich program and I should be proud t' be in it. I know I love it and there's lotsa homework and I don't watch too much TV `cause I'm doin' homework. Auntie and uncle both go t' meetin's at the school. They do lotsa things there. I can't wait `til I get t' school every mornin'. I know it's not normal but it's normal for me. Big Eddie starts comin' over t' my table in the cafeteria and eatin' lunch wit' me almos' every day. I know he likes the food auntie makes - and his lunches look and smell like shit. So I let him and we talk `bout lotsa things. I notice that none of the other kids in our group come `round during lunch - only Big Eddie. After school we all get together and have fun or play or whatever, but during school only Big Eddie is wit' me. Me and Colin stay very friendly but he goes out with Janice a lot. Sometimes they go away for a few days and auntie and uncle argue `bout what they're doin'. But when they come back nothin's done and everybody seems okay. My two other girl cousins are real nice too - Rita, who's sixteen, and Carrie who's thirteen. I also got lotsa other cousins `cause my mom's got two more sisters and a brother. All of `em live in the LA area and sometimes we all get together and it's a real mob of people and kids. I like that a lot, too. But best I like is when me and Colin're together alone. We watch movies or play computer games. ----------------------------------- Sometimes a bully tries t' pick a fight wit' me but I always got some a my friends `round and they stop these morons. Once Big Eddie stops a fight before it starts and he calls the bully over and he calls me over. "Ya new here, ain't ya man?" he asks the bullyboy. "Yea! What of it?" "Well, man, ya gotta be careful of this here kid," he says in a kinda whisper as he points t' me. "What ya mean? He ain't got no arms! Why should I be careful of him?" He laughs. "Well, see that guy over there?" He points to Larry. "See the eye patch he's wearin'? Now guess how he lose his fuckin' eye." The bully just stares at Big Eddie. "Yup! Them hooks can do lotsa damage. Lotsa damage!" Big Eddie nods his head. "And this kid knows how to use `em." The bully starts backin' away real slow like. "And I'll tell ya one more thing. Put ya nuts and ya dick in a steel cup if ya know what's good for ya if ya mess wit' him `gain. He'll fuckin' yank `em motherfuckers right outta ya shit eatin' body!" "Fuckin' bullshit!" the bully yells, but I can see he's a little scared. "Oh, yeah! Sal, come over here now!" One of the biggest kids walks up and stands nex' t' Big Eddie. Sal's got dark black hair, a nice tan and is big, with broad shoulders, a thick neck, a big chest and huge musculy legs - a great soccer player. "Drop `em shorts, Sal," Big Eddie orders. Sal pulls the baggy shorts down and Big Eddie points to the crotch of the Jockeys Sal's wearin'. "Ya wanna feel?" he says all quiet-like to the bully. Sal's crotch is all smooth - not a bump or anything in the pouch. The kid can't believe his eyes. They's open wide and starin' at Sal's crotch. Big Eddie give him a smirk and I can see real fear in this fuckin' bully's eyes and on his face. "Now get the fuck outta here!" he yells. "And don't let me fuckin' see ya `round here `gain!" Big Eddie raises his arm sudden like and the kid runs away so fast. "Big Eddie," I say to him later, "Larry's wearin' a eye patch `cause a his operation." "Yeah, but that fuckin' asshole don't know, do he?" Everyone laughs. "And course Sal's crotch's all smooth. Sal's a girl!" Everyone laughs `gain. ----------------------------------- A coupla day after I celebrate my thirteenth birthday, auntie and uncle take me to LA and I get new hands. It's a big surprise. Me and auntie stay five days and they fit me and I learn t' use `em. They look like real hands and have fingers that move and all and the coverin' on `em matches the color a my skin. The guy who fits me wit' `em is nice and tells me how good I look. They're called myoelectric arms and they work on `lectricity from batteries in the arm and from muscles remainin' in my cut off arms. The batteries have to be recharge every night. They're plastic and fit right over my stumps and go almos' t' my elbows. There's no harness or straps or anything. And they feel light. When I move the muscles in what's left a my arms, the fingers move - well, they open and they close and they all don't move, just a couple. I can't feel nothin' with `em just like I can't feel nothin' with my hooks but they look so much better and I hope people don't stare at me as much although that don't bother me as much as it used to. I still keep my hooks for times when I can't wear these new ones like when I play certain sports or when I forget t' recharge `em. When we get home, everyone's very `cited `bout the new arms and wanna see how they work. So I show `em. Jan says that she reads where these arms are very, very expensive and they have to be changed every few years as I grow and my stumps get bigger and she don't know how auntie and uncle can afford t' do that for me. I'm thinkin' `bout this a lot and the next mornin' I ask auntie `bout it. "Yes, dear, they are very expensive," she says. "And, yes, they have to be changed every few years." "So where'd ya get the money for `em, then? And how ya gonna pay for new ones?" "Your momma sends the money, sweetie, and makes the arrangements at rehab and all." "Oh," I say and then I think `bout what she says. "But she ain't got no money neither. Where'd she get it from?" "All I know, Val, is that she sends the money, tells me what to do and where to go. Maybe you should ask her. She does everythin'. But.but if I was you, I wouldn't bother her. You know she don't like t' be bothered with questions like this." "Yeah, I know," I say and walk away. The next time I speak with mom I tell her all `bout the trip to LA and gettin' the new arms and how wonderful they are and how great they work and how good they look. She says she's very happy I like `em and they work so good. Colin takes a coupla pictures a me wearin' `em and I send `em t' her. I work up my courage and ask her about how Jan says they're very expensive and how she gets the money for `em. "I don't want you worrying `bout money, baby," she says. "Yeah, I know. But...but...well, I was just wonderin'." "Don't wonder. Let's just say I'm able t' get the money...and leave it. Okay, babe?" "Sure. Sure, mom." But it's still botherin' me a lot and the next mornin' when I wake up there's only one thin' I'm thinkin' `bout - Zack! I suddenly know, with a bang, it has t' be Zack who gives Elise the money. Who else we know got that kinda money? Anyways, I go back t' school it's very excitin'. Everyone, includin' the teachers, want t' see my new arms and hands. Everyone says they look great and one guy says he'd love t' try `em on but he still has his hands. We all laugh. When I get home that day I do something that I decide t' do durin' lunchtime. I'm gonna call Zack. I remember his private number and call. He answers the phone on the first ring. "Hello? Hello? Hello?" he says very loud. "Hi Zack, it's me, Val." "Val? Val?" Then he says nothin'. "Oh, my God! Val? Val!" "Yeah, it's me Zack. How are ya?" "How am I? How am I? Uhhhhh...I'm okay Val. Yes, okay. Doin' okay Val. How are you?" "I'm doin' just great Zack." "Good! Good! That's very good Val. Good! Good!" I don't know what to say `cause Zack sounds so different. I know it's been almos' three years since I speak wit' him. I can hear Billie and Louie yappin' and I ask him `bout the dogs. He loves t' talk `bout the dogs and goes on and on. Finally I get a word in. "My auntie and uncle and cousins read ya last book and they love it. Love it a lot!" "Love it? They love it? Great! That's great! My last book...they love it. Great!" "Ya been doin' more writin'?" "More? More writin'? Yes, yes I've been doin' a lotta writin'. Never stop writin'. Write, write, and write some more." He laughs and seems t' me t' be a real strange kinda laugh. This guy's starts soundin' totally weird, so I get to the reason for my call. "I wanna thank you Zack." "Thank me? Thank me? You wanna thank me. Thank me. Thank me for what?" "My new hands...my new myoelectric hands. They're just great. They work so great and look so wonderful and all. Thanks so much." "Hands? New hands? You got new hands? How'd ya get new hands?" I can hear him gettin' angry. "Who told ya? Tell me! Who told? Who said it was me? Who? Who?" "Nobody, Zack. Honest! Nobody tells me." "Ya say nobody? Nobody told ya? Nobody? Well, how'd ya know then?" "I just figure it out myself, Zack. I know they cost a lotta money and ya the only guy I know who gotta lotsa money. That's all." "That's all? That's all? So! Ya figured it out for yaself? Huh? Bright boy.bright boy. Okay! Okay!" I knew I didn't want to talk to him no more. It was weirdin' me out. "Is Gabe there? Can I speak t' him?" "Gabe? Gabe? No! No, no, no. Gabe isn't here. He's in Seattle with Mary Anne and...and...and whatshisname." "Christian." "Christian? Christian? Yeah, with Christian...and his new baby sisters." "Gabe's got new baby sisters?" "Yeah. Yeah! Sisters! Sisters! Two of `em. Twins. Gabe's got new baby sisters. Name's Karen...or Laura...and Melissa...or something like that." "Okay then. Thanks again for everythin'. Good-bye Zack. See ya!" "Yeah! Okay, yeah...yeah. Good-bye...uh...good-bye...uh...Val. Good-bye! See ya!" ----------------------------------- It's Sunday afternoon and me and Colin're sittin' in the TV room watchin' a basketball game. Everybody's out except Jan and she's in her room upstairs studyin' hard for a exam. The first half of the game is not too excitin'. I like only the last two minutes of these games anyways - specially when the score's close. During halftime, Colin goes t' get some snacks. I can't help him `cause I ain't wearing my arms. We been playin' in the yard and I don't wear my arms `cause I can hurt myself and others. We're both sweaty and stinky. Colin comes back with Cokes and Doritos. I hold the Coke okay but have trouble with the chips so he feeds `em t' me. Colin puts the chips in my mouth and I love it when he feeds me. He rubs my cheek with the back a his hand as he puts the chip in my mouth, teasin' me a little. I giggle. His hand feels so smooth and I like the feel a the little bit a his hair. His eyes're half closed and he looks real handsome and very sexy. I look down at his lap and see his crotch is all swole-up. It's so swole that I can see the very tip a his very big dick stickin' outta the bottom a his shorts. I move one a my stumps and put it on his leg and move it slow over the smooth skin on the top of his leg. I touch the tip of his cock. He takes in a sudden big breath a air and he moans. I smile at him. "Ya like it when I touch ya with my stump, don't ya Colin?" Colin don't say nothin' for a while then he smiles at me. "I love it Val. I adore da feel a ya stumps rubbin' on ma skin. I love.let me juss say dat I love everyting about yoo. Ya a real great kid and a very beauteeful boy." We go int' my room. He tells me that he loves my body and my arm stumps and that he dreams `bout `em all the time and `bout me rubbin' `em all over his body. His cock's very hard `cause there's such a great big bulge down there. He turns some music on. He starts kissin' me all over my face. We kiss and hug. Colin rubs his hands all over my bod and I'm tryin' t' reach his bod so I can rub it with my stumps. It's the best thing ever...ever since...since me and Zack have such great times together. I know we're both smellin' a bit funky but I like it. I love Colin's smell. And he must like mine too `cause he starts lickin' my neck and ears after he finishes kissin' me. Then he goes and takes off my tee shirt and throws it across the room and lays me down on the bed. He crawls up `long side and stares at me. I know I want t' see all of Colin's bod. I seen mosta it `cept the place below his waist, and I know he's got real large `quipment `cause I can feel it and see it bulgin' out. "Wassa matter?" I ask. Colin just smiles at me and kisses me again. "Nuttin'!" he says. "Ya jess so incredibly beauteeful. Thas all!" "Thanks," I say but I'm `barrassed `cause he thinks I'm beautiful which I'm not, of course. But I love when he says it. Now he starts t' touch me all over my chest and arms but he does this very slow and very light. It feels so wonderful and I close my eyes and I'm so `cited. He kisses my body all over and licks it. It's like I'm being sweeped up by a big wave like what happens when we surf. He plays so nice wit' all a me - lickin' and suckin' on my armpits, bitin' light on my tits, movin' his tongue `round my belly button, kissin' and lickin' the skin I got `bove my dink. His lips're so smooth and the feel a him's just awesome! When he moves up t' give me a great, big loving kiss, I move my arms and try t' get his shorts offa him. He picks his head up and smiles at me then moves his hands down and takes `em off. When I see his dick I give out a small shriek. I mean I never, ever seen a dick like that in my life! Colin's got everythin' - a big, thick, long cock `long wit' real large, low-hangin' balls. He's fantastic! I love how the rod of his cock's darker `n his regular skin. It's real dark, almos' purple. The knob's also real dark and huge and's a purplish- red. And he's got these real big balls. They hang down in his bag a long ways. His cock bends down some and looks so great! I don't see no hair nowhere - nowhere at all! "Oh wow!" I say. "Ya like it, Val?" "It's beautiful. It's so, so beautiful - and big.and thick.and dark.and uncut, right?" He laughs. "Right." "How big is it? I mean, I know it's big and all...and I don't wanna seem...ya know, but jus' how." He laughs. "I know what ya mean. Well, da lass time I measure it, it's twenty-four centimeters, which's `bout nine and a half inches." "OH wow!" I say in a whisper. "That's big!" Colin puts his head down, looks at my bod `gain and begins t' rub my little titties. "Tanks, Val. I'm glad ya like it...and me." He gives me a wonderful big smile. He notices that my face gets a very serious look on it. "I like ya a lot, Colin." "What's da matter, my beauteeful one?" I look at him but don't give him no answer. "C'mon, Val. I kin see dat somethin's da matter. Please tell me." "Yeah, okay." I swallow hard and look right int' his eyes. "Ya ain't gonna...well, ya know...gonna put it in...put ya big cock in..." Suddenly he realizes what I'm talkin' `bout. "No, no, no! I nevah do dat. I promise nevah, Val!" I smile at him and he smiles back and we kiss a great big sloppy kiss. He kisses me all over my face and neck and ears and I love the feelin' of his lips and tongue. As he's kissin' me I feel `round his chest and other parts a his body wit' my stumps. It's strange, but Colin ain't got no hair on his bod - not in his armpits, not on his chest, not in his crotch. "But...but...where's all ya hair? Ya know, the hair `round ya dick and all like men got?" Colin laughs `gain. "I shave it off." "Ya shave it off? Why?" "Bee-cause Jan likes it dis way. And I tink it looks real cool too. Don't you, mon?" "Yeah!" I move one a my stumps and touch the smooth skin `round his dick. "I think it's awesome!" As I start rubbin' his skin, Colin makes all kinds a noises. His body's so muscly and ripply and totally beautiful. I rub all the skin and, with my other stump, I rub `long the shaft of his dick and play wit' the big purple knob. There's lotsa clear stuff comin' outta his dick head. I rub my stump over that too. I look up at Colin and his eyes are closed and he's moanin' and his body's movin' back and fore. I guess he likes what I'm doin'. "Oh God! Val! Dis is so wonderful! Ah! Ah! Yes!" So I do it more - rubbin' his dick shaft and his smooth ball bag. Colin's balls hang way down and they're very large and I like playin' wit' `em. His ball bag feels so soft and smooth. It's just awesome! I start breathin' heavy and I moan a lot too. "Ya like doin' dis Val?" I hear Colin talkin' and it takes me a few seconds t' answer `cause I'm so `cited. "Yeah," I say, "I like it a lot. I love it! Ya skin fells go great on my stumps. I love feelin' ya great big dick and humungous balls too - I love rubbin' `em and touchin' `em." "Tanks, mon. I'm happy ya like `em `cause I love wha' ya doin' t' me - wha' ya doin' to me wit' ya wonderful arms. I love dose arm stumps, Val. I tink dey's real treasures." I can't believe he calls my ugly stumps "treasures." Treasures? Maybe he's jus' a little too `cited. "And I love everythin' `bout ya body too, Colin. And I love how smooth ya dick and balls feel on my arms...uh...my stumps." I move both my arms t' his dick and balls and ball bag and start squeezin' `em `tween both my stumpy ends. He starts moanin' very loud and we're both getting' very hot and `cited. I just love the feelin' of his great big, big throbbin' dick on my stumps. It's so hot. "Can ya spread ya legs Val?" he asks real quiet. I spread my legs and Colin goes t' kneel `tween `em. I think he's gunna suck on my dink but he don't. He lowers his body slow and his big muscly arms keep up his bod over me. He drops down `til his huge cock and balls are restin' on my little dink and balls. His whole body's now coverin' mine. He comes down more and I can feel his cock and balls pressin' on me. They're so hot. I ain't never know nothin' so awesome feelin'. Then he starts t' move his bod backwards and forwards, all the time rubbin' his great big cock on me and my little pecker and also on my belly. When I look up alls I can see is Colin's chest that's coverin' all a me. I reach up slow and wit' the end a my stumps I start playin' wit' his hard tits. He starts moanin' loud `gain and movin' his bod faster and faster. He must like what I'm doin' `cause he seems t' go int' high, movin' and rubbin' and moanin' like I never know before. He's rubbin' his stuff all over my crotch and my tummy and belly button area. I'm rubbin' his titties hard wit' my stumps and move one int' one a his armpits. The feeling on my stumps ends is fantastic. This rubbin' seems t' get him goin' stronger all over `gain and he's movin' like crazy. I can feel everythin' buildin' in me when Colin stops the whole thing - the yellin', the movin', the rubbin' - everythin'! I open my eyes and see that Colin still has his eyes closed tight and he's breathin' real hard and he's sweatin' a lot. And then suddenly I feel it. It's more like a earthquake than anythin' else I know! Colin's whole bod starts vibratin' and shakin' and movin' and he lets out a big growlin' sound that almos' scares me. Then I hear "Ugh!...Ugh!...Ugh!" and I feel Colin's hot stuff shootin' ont' my body - and he's shootin' all over my chest and my crotch and even all the way t' my neck. He's coverin' me in his stuff and I love the feelin' and how hot it is and how slippery. I can't believe how much he pumps out and how he grunts too. Finally he sinks down on toppa me, coverin' me up complete. I wrap my arms `round him and he kisses me and sucks me on my neck. He picks up his head and we kiss `gain. I want nothin' more in this world than t' make love a lot with this great, big, handsome stud. "Tank ya, little dood. Tank ya a lot!" he whispers int' my ear. "Dis is da bess cum I have in years and years." I squeeze him harder. After we're layin' this way for a few minutes I start to squirm and start pushin' my crotch up int' Colin's body. "I know, I know, big guy. Ya need some help...some relief. Well, let me tell ya, ole Colin's here t' help." We smile at each other, we kiss again, and then Colin starts kissin' and lickin' down my chest and int' my armpits and down my arms and suckin' and kissin' and bitin' on my stumps and then down my sides and ont' my belly and `round my belly button and over my mound, until he comes t' my dink and balls. He licks up his stuff as he moves down. He gently kisses my dink and my balls. He blows air all over `em and I giggle and he giggles too. He nuzzles `em and makes soothing love t' `em before takin' `em int' his mouth and makin' me feel like the luckiest...the most loved...the happiest boy...in the world. ----------------------------------- About a week after I talk with Zack, Gabe calls me. He tells me all about his new sisters and being in Seattle. Their names are Lauren and Ava and they're beautiful and he loves `em a lot. He knows how to take care of `em, change diapers and give `em their bottles. He's happy to be back in Seattle. His mom and Christian bought a great big house on one a the islands off shore and it's just super. He loves bein' up there. I tell him what I'm doin' and about my new hands and how I speak t' Zack a few days ago. "He's nuts, Val," he whispers. "I think he's gone totally off his rocker. I think he really belongs in the loony bin." I don't say nothin' for a few seconds. Then, "I know, Gabe. I know. He seems really out of it when I speak with him. I thank him for the money he gives Elise for my new hands and he acts like he knows nothin' `bout `em. It's so strange." Gabe's quiet. Then says, "He's right, Val. He don't know nothin' `bout ya new hands." "What?" I'm stunned! I can't believe what he says. "Yeah. He don't know nothin' `bout ya myoelectric hands. It's.it's.ya know I'm not suppose t' tell ya this.but it's Chris who sends Elise the money.not Zack." This really sounds crazy! Chris? "I don't believe it!" "It's the truth! God's honest truth! I hear mom and Chris talkin' just after she comes home from the hospital and she says she wants to do somethin' nice for ya `cause she's treats ya so lousy for such a long time. She's so happy `cause a new babies. And she wants t' do things for other people. So they decide one a things they do is t' give Elise the money for ya new hands and for ya rehab but Elise can't say nothin' `bout where the money's from." "Holy shit!" I can't believe Mary Anne `n Chris give me money. I have trouble understandin' it all. "Thanks Gabe...thanks for tellin' me." "Yeah but ya can't say nothin' t' nobody. Okay?" "Yeah, okay." We're quiet for a few second then Gabe blurts out, "I don't wanna go back down t' Berkeley, Val. I can't go back there...I can't go back t' that house. I wanna stay up here in Seattle with mom and Chris and Lauren and Ava. I don't think I can spend any more time in that crazy house. It's real scary. I mean it's been three goddamned years of me livin' there wit' him and it seems like twenty." "I'm sorry, Gabe. Sorry that ya ain't havin' any fun." He pauses before he speaks `gain. "Who says I'm not havin' fun?" "Huh? Wadya mean?" "Well, it's true that it's no fun living with the old shithead." Gabe pauses `gain, and then he giggles. "But I do get t' have some fun." "Yeah? How?" "Wit' Sammy." "Sammy?" "Yeah, wit' Sammy. We spend lotsa time...ya know, together...in the pool house...by ourselves...and we do things. And it awesome!" "Hey! That's real great! Do ya like Sammy's missin' arms... ya know, his stumps?" Gabe giggles some more. "Yeah. I think they're super." It's good to hear him laugh. I know I wanna Gabe t' tell me more `bout Zack `cause I still miss him a lot. So I ask, "Tell me, is Zack still usin' that old computer? The one that don't even have a color screen?" Gabe gives out a big laugh. "Yeah. He says it's his lucky computer. It's upgraded. But I gotta tell ya Val, he's really lookin' like shit. He's losing weight, doesn't go out into the sun and isn't interested in anyone. He goes out at all hours and I don't have any idea where he goes." "And ya all by yaself in that big house?" "Well, Kitty and Ralph are here.they sleep in the big house not out over the garages. And sometimes.well, sometimes Sammy sleeps with me.and then I sleep great!" Gabe's silent for a coupla seconds. "Anyways, his books continue to sell a lot and the money's really rollin' in. One critic says the books are gettin' better and better and he wins a Pulitzer Prize last year so the stuff must be good. Right?" "Right." I don't know what else t' say. I hear him blow his nose. "I don't know what's fuckin' happenin'." Gabe sounds angry. "He's supposed to go to the doctor's two times a week but he don't. A shrink. He always tells me some bullshit story why he can't go and then he just sits in his office and writes." I hear him blow his nose again. "One night I wake up `bout three in the mornin' and I'm very hungry. I make myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a glass a milk. On my way back t' my room I hear noises comin' from Zack's office. It sounds like he's talkin' t' someone. I creep up t' the door and I hear his voice. Every now and then I swear I can understand when he says `Val.' It's so strange - really fuckin' eerie. It sounds like he talkin' t' ya and tellin' ya things t' do." "Oh, wow!" "Then he gets louder, like he's havin' a argument with someone. I hear `Mary Anne' and my name and he's yellin' and screamin'. He's havin' a terrible argument with mom and he's all by himself! This totally creeps me out. I mean, I'm sure now that he's goin' totally mental. He talks t' himself, he yells and screams at people who ain't even there. I don't know how much longer I can live with him." "I'm so sorry Gabe. I really am. I'm sure it's real bad." I'm really feeling sorry for him but what can I do `cept listen t' him? ----------------------------------- Gabe and Zack invite me once t' stay with `em for a week after school ends one year. But I know that Zack got nothin' t' do wit' it. I'm sure he don't want me there and I only see him two times and we don't talk. I take the Greyhound and Gabe, Sammy and Ralph meet me at the bus station in Oakland. It's the first time I see Gabe or Sammy since I have my new arms. They're both excited and I show `em how they work. Sammy likes `em a lot. Gabe wants t' show `em t' Zack but he just waves him away and goes t' his study - and slams the door. We go t' some places but mostly we stay around the house and we swim, eat, relax and just plain have fun. Billie and Louie are so happy t' see me again and I'm very happy t' see `em. The five of us sleep in the pool house - in one big bed, includin' the dogs. We have some sex almos' every night and sometimes even durin' the day. It's real cozy and lotsa fun! Sammy's folks bring food and we never havta go up t' the big house. We swim and watch TV and work out durin' the day and maybe go t' the movies at night. And play at sex. I know Billie and Louie stayin' wit' us is drivin' Zack crazy. It's also the first time that I ever give anyone a blowjob where a guy really shoots stuff. I do it with Sammy - I suck on his dink and lick his balls and he comes in my mouth and I swallow everythin' he shoots. I'm not grossed out or anythin' `bout it and the taste is okay - not terrible, not great. Sammy has some nice `quipment - not too big but nice. He says it's a real good blowjob and thanks me. ----------------------------------- The gang soon notices Big Eddie's not hangin' `round wit' us too much any more. Sal comes t' us one day wit' the news that Big Eddie's datin' a girl who don't go t' our school. He meets her at some pizza joint near the beach and she goes t' a Catholic school. Her name's Carole, but she wears too much makeup. I see `em together and they're holdin' hands. Eddie tells me he likes her. He says how they kiss a lot and even French kiss. I know `bout this type of kissin' but I pretend I don't so he tells me what it's like and everythin' they do. He also says she lets him touch her and she takes off her top once and he touches her bra but nothin' else. And they go out on dates almos' every weekend. One Saturday night I'm home alone. I'm watchin' TV in my room. I sorta hear a strange noise comin' from the front porch and I'm a little scared. I peek through the blinds and am surprised t' see Big Eddie sittin' on the steps. He just sits there with his head down and don't move. I can't see that clear but I swear he's cryin'. I go out t' the porch and stand behind Big Eddie lookin' down on him. He's really cryin'. Also he's talkin' t' himself. I can't hear everythin' he's sayin' but I hear things like "fuckin' bitch" "loser" "ass wipe" and "weenie." He don't hear me. "Hi, Eddie," I say very quiet-like. He looks up a little startled. "Hey, Val." He looks away and he's quiet `gain `til he says, "Could ya just please go `way, Val, and leave me `lone?" I shuffle my feet. "How can I go `way Eddie - I live here." We both laugh a little. "I thought I could help ya - ya know, we could talk or somethin' or have a snack. It looks like somethin's botherin' ya." He don't say nothin' so I turn and start walkin' back int' the house. "Okay then. Take it easy. See ya." I hear footsteps and turn and see Eddie walkin' up t' me real slow. "Can I come in with ya, Val?" nod. "I real...really need t' be wit' someone tonight. I'm so sorry. I'm such a fuckin' mess. And I'm so goddamn lonely...and so fuckin' alone." I walk up t' him puttin' my arm `round his waist. "Sure, Eddie. Let's go t' my room. Okay?" He sniffles hard and grasps my left arm. He's almos' actin' like a little kid. I get two Cokes; Eddie opens `em. We go t' my room and close the door. Eddie's pacin' `round and `round the room. He's touchin' everythin' and won't stay still a second. He finally walks over t' the bed and sits down nex' t' me. "I'm sorry, Val." "There ain't nothin' t' be sorry `bout, Eddie." I just look at him and he looks back at me. "I guess it was a rough night, huh?" He laughs. "That don't begin t' say it." He takes a long drink and stands up and starts pacin' `gain. "She dumps me, Val. She fuckin' dumps me! And...and...she and her goddamn fuckin' fr-fr-friends sha-sha-shames me!" "Whoa, baby. Who dumps ya, big boy? Who shames ya?" "Carole, you flea-brain. Shit! What a poor excuse I am! I got no fuckin' balls to...to...oh shit! I don't know...I just don't know what I'm gonna do!" He flops down on my bed. He buries his face in a pillow and beats it with his fists. I really don't know what t' do neither but I move near him and reach over and begin t' rub his back. I don't say nothing and the only sound comin' from Eddie's a sniffle or two. After a few minutes of cryin' and rubbin', he turns and looks at me. He gives me a real shy smile and I return a bigger one. "Thanks for bein' here for me, Val. Ya a lifesaver. And a real great friend." He moves his hand and rubs the back of it lightly on my cheek. I close my eyes and let the wonderful feelin' gush through my body. "I know I've...I've been...ya know, a little unfriendly t' ya at times when I wanna do my own thing. I know I'm sometimes bitchy. And a miserable little shit. I just wanna let ya know now that...well, I think ya great...and a great friend...and that I like ya very much. I been afraid t' let ya know what I...ya know, what I really think about ya and how much I really like bein' wit' ya. I wanna be ya good friend from here on out and..." I kiss him. I stop all his stupid babble wit' a kiss. It's the only thing I can think t' do. I just press my lips `gainst his and push hard. I don't know why I do it or how I work up the courage t' do it. But I do it! Maybe it's just t' stop his babblin' or `cause I think he's so cute and his lips look so sweet or maybe...maybe... maybe...I don't know. We break from the kiss and I stare at Eddie. He just stares back at me. I feel a little shamed. He just stares and stares. His face looks blank; he looks stunned. I start thinkin' that he's gonna punch me and my face's gonna be a real sorry-ass mess. "Kiss me again, Val," he says quietly. "Huh?" I say totally shocked. "I'm askin' ya t' please kiss me again. I'd like it if ya did. Don't ya wanna?" "Yeah, I do," I say, this time with a big old silly grin on my face. "I wanna do it a lot...more `n anything in the world right now." "So do I," he says in whisper. "And I wanna do it a lot too." I see him close his eyes as my lips get near his lips. I close my eyes, too, just before our lips met. He puts his arms `round me and his hands are touchin' and rubbin' my back. I have my arms around him and I clasp him hard - as hard as I can. I'm grinding my lips into him and soon he's grinding his belly into me. I love the feeling of his lips and his belly touching me. I know my dink's very hard and I think Eddie's hard too. I love his smell. God! It's so wonderful - the smell of his sweat and his after-shave. I love everythin' Eddie's doin' t' me; I love everythin' I'm doin' t' him; I love everythin' `bout what me and Eddie are doin' together. To Be Continued. ----------------------------------- Chapter 12 (Part 2 - The Conclusion of the Story) Is Coming Very Soon