Date: Mon, 05 Jun 2000 17:52:45 -0700 From: Fredric Brothers Subject: "SUMMER WITH VAL" - Chapter 6 (A Man / Boy Lovestory) Disclaimer: The following story is a work of fiction. It contains scenes of deep affection between an adult white male and a minor black boy. If you find any of this disturbing, then leave. Please e-mail any thoughts or comments you may have: FLBROTHERS@hotbot.com -------------------------------- SUMMER WITH VAL -------------------------------- By Fred Brothers Copyright 2000 by Fredric Law Brothers (All Rights Reserved) Chapter 6 - Val 2 That first night I spend at Dr. Greene's...uh...Zack's house...I think is the best night of my entire life - the absolute best. I can't think of anythin' better that happen t' me in the whole wide world. It could've been even better 'cept for somethin' that Zack tells me 'bout the movie they're gonna be makin' in Hollywood, but it was still the best ever! I only wish that it can go on forever and ever and that I can live in this house always. I only wish that him and Gabe weren't goin' t' Hollywood and Italy for the summer. The two of us have a really great day at Candlestick Park even when the Giants lose to the Mets. We have a real great time at the ballpark. When we get to the car in the parkin' lot, Zack starts drivin' back to Oakland. He buys me a great sweatshirt and a ball cap at the park and I am able to pick 'em out myself. I really like doin' that. Mom never lets me pick out my own things. I carry 'em in a bag which I swing around with my hook. We're talkin' 'bout a lotta things as we drive back home. The traffic is heavy but before we get to the bridge t' Oakland he suddenly turns off the highway and pulls the Jeep into the parkin' lot of this really big restaurant. The parkin' lot is very full and I know I don't wanna eat or even go in this place with all these people around and starin' at my hooks. I don't wanna eat anything at the baseball park either 'cause I don't want those people lookin' at me and pityin' me and shakin' their heads about the poor crippled kid without hands. But I take a few bites of Zack's food at the ballpark. I know that I'm very hungry now and really want to eat, but I know I'm not goin' into this big place! Zack understands what's sa matter when I don't get outta the Jeep after he parks it. We sit and talk for a while. Really, Zack does the talkin' and I do the listenin'. He's a very good talker. He's also a very good listener when I do talk; he totally knows what's botherin' me. He explains a lotta things t' me. He says that I havta learn t' be with people and not thinka my hands...my hooks...all the time. They are part of me now and I should just accept it this way. I havta feel comfortable with 'em so I don't think of 'em all the time and that way I won't be thinkin' of 'em when I'm in a restaurant or at the ballpark or with people or in school. After he tells me all these things, and I cry a little bit, I ask him if he really meant what he said last night...about me bein' beautiful. He smiles at me and tells me that I am very beautiful, that I'm a very beautiful kid. And not only that but I'm beautiful on the inside, that I'm a great kid and that he likes me very much. Then he wipes my face and makes me blow my nose and I tell him that I'm ready to go into the restaurant and we go in. It's very crowded but we get a nice table near a window lookin' at the bay and the bridge and it's very comfy. I think Zack knows the owner. He orders a martini and I get a Coke. He orders a great big lobster and they bring it out; it's still alive and flippin' its claws and tail as the waiter holds it. Zack says it's okay and the waiter leaves. I order a big steak - that's what Zack said I should order. Everything is going fine when I eat my salad and rolls; I'm doin' everythin' good and the food is good and doin' things by myself is makin' me feel very good about everythin'. And for a while I don't even think about my hooks. I'm feelin' very good with Zack and bein' in this place with so many other people. Just after the waiter takes away the plates and puts a lobster bib on Zack, a little kid comes over to the table and starts starin' at my hooks. He's younger 'n me and he's a cute kid but he doesn't do nothin' but stare at me and my hooks. Zack asks him somethin' but he doesn't move and he doesn't even answer Zack just keeps lookin' at my hooks. I start to get a little annoyed with this kid but just then a woman comes to the table and calls out the kid's name. She calls out "Mikey" and still he doesn't move or do anythin'. The woman starts speakin' to me and Zack and tellin' us that the kid, Mikey, is her grandson and that he lost his right arms in a car accident about a month ago and that he wants to see my hooks 'cause he's gonna be gettin' one in a coupla weeks. I don't even notice that the poor kid has only one arm. Before they leave, the kid puts out his left hand as if he wants t' shake my hand...or my hook. I put out my left hook and he grasps onto it and we shake. He gives me a big smile and goes away with the lady. I look at Zack and he seems to have tears in his eyes. I feel like I have tears in my eyes too. The food is really wonderful. Zack helps me cut up my steak and I eat everythin' without any problem at all, including a big ice cream dessert. I'm feelin' very, very good about myself, that I was able to do so much, about Mikey's visit to our table and I'm so happy that Zack spoke to me and that I did come to this restaurant. I even go to the bathroom by myself before we leave. When we're drivin' home, Zack asks about what time mom'll be home and I tell him it's late. He says that he'll stay with me if I want him to and I say that'll be great. Then I'm thinkin', "I'd really love to stay in that great house with him tonight if he'd let me. Maybe I should ask him. Maybe he'd let me." So I ask him and he says yes; he says yes without even thinkin' 'bout it. I'm so happy and so surprised I could cry...but I don't. I don't want Zack to think I'm a baby. But sometimes...sometimes...I wish that I was a baby or could act like a baby so that people would cuddle me and hold me and tell me nice things and make me feel real good. When we get t' the apartment, I grab my backpack, push some clothes in, my books and what I need for tomorrow, and I'm ready. Zack leaves mom a note sayin' that we're at his place and if she wants she can call when she gets home. I don't think she'll call. I'm sure she's just plain happy to come home and find that I'm some place else and doesn't havta bother with me at all. I'm so happy as we drive to Zack's house I can just explode. He looks over at me when he's drivin' and smiles and puts his hand on my knee and gives me a few squeezes. I love when he does that or when he hugs me and when he smiles at me; it makes me feel so warm all over and my body feels so tingly and wonderful. Why doesn't mom ever do this any more? When we get t' the house he carries my pack inside and I really feel like a special guest. The dogs are there at the front door t' greet us and they're jumpin' all over me...they're so happy to see me and I'm so happy to see 'em. I pet 'em and Louie even licks my face and then he lick my hook. I think that maybe I have some food on it. Zack calls Gabe and I speak to him first. I tell him all about the ballgame and the restaurant and how I'm gonna sleep in his room tonight then go t' school tomorrow. He asks me how I'm feelin' and then I tell him. He seems happy that I'm feelin' better 'n yesterday night and we speak of how I'm gonna be. I tell him that I'm feelin' much better about me and I hopin' to almos' forget that I have hooks instead of hand. I think about my hooks almos' all the time now and how they make me feel when I'm doin' things or meetin' people. I'm gonna make them a part of me instead of 'em bein' things that hang offa my body. Zack speaks to Gabe and I go upstairs to the room where I'll be spendin' the night and I'm thinkin' of it as my room. But it really Gabe's room and it's so big and looks the way I 'member it from years ago. It looks like a real kids room, ya know, a real little kid's room. There are still kid toys all around the place and the wallpaper is kid's wallpaper. Gabe hasn't lived here for a long time and nothin's changed. The bunk beds still look great though. It's a real nice room. Zack comes up after he finishes talkin' t' Gabe and he helps me. Then we go downstairs to watch some TV. I give Zack a sorta look, and he smiles at me and I stretch out over his body again. It feels so incredibly comf'able layin' on him this way with his strong arms wrapped around me and holdin' me. I think I could stay this way forever. ***************************************** I'm gonna be takin' a bath. Zack gives me the choice of a bath or a shower and I choose a bath 'cause I would like if he helps me. It'd be easier for him to help me if I take a bath. I'd really love it if Zack could wash my hair (though it's very short and I can wash it very easy) and also other parts of my body and if afterwards he could dry me. I don't think that I'll be embarrassed in front of Zack at all. I hope I won't be. When I'm thinkin' back, I can remember me and Gabe runnin' 'round naked in the back yard when we're very young kids and Zack chasin' us and sprayin' us with the hose. After we watch TV for a while, I go upstairs to Gabe's room and Zack is with me. I ask him to hold my hand...my hook...before we walk up the stairs and he is very surprised but seems happy and takes my hook in his hand and holds it. I knew he would do it if I asked him 'cause he has been so nice about everythin' but I wanted to make sure. Even though I can't feel his hand hold me, just knowin' that he's doin' it and seein' it makes me feel real, real good and real happy. I start to get tears in my eyes 'cause Zack is so nice t' me. He's the first person in the whole world to hold my hook like it's a real hand and not a pretend hand and not make faces or say somethin' nasty. I look up him a few times and smile and he smiles back at me. We get to the bedroom, and I ask him if he'd help me get undressed. I tell him it's easier and more comf'able for me and he gives me a big smile and tells me he'd love to help me but first he goes into the bathroom to run the water for my bath. Gabe's room has its own bathroom and that's so neat! When Zack comes back he moves up to me and begins to take off my big Raiders sweatshirt. I give him some help in tellin' how to do it but I'm a little nervous because after he takes off the sweatshirt he will be able to see all my arms and hooks and everythin'...all of me. He very gently takes off the shirt and tosses it on the bed then sits back on the bed and looks at me. I am terribly embarrassed and look down on the floor. I'm not even standin' up straight but feel that I'm all the ways slumped over. I feel Zack's eyes on me, lookin' at me and thinkin' what a dope I must be and how horrible I must look with all this crap on me. I slowly lift up m' head and look at Zack. He's smilin' and he has his arms wide open and I can't believe wha' I'm seein'. I begin t' walk slowly to him and his smile gets bigger and I start crying like crazy. I'm ballin' my head off and keep walking t' Zack arms and he puts his arms 'round me and I lift my arms and put my arms 'round him. He hugs me hard and it feels so good...so very, very good...that I begin to cry even harder and I know I'm getting' him all wet. I'm embarrassed that I'm cryin' so hard and this only makes me cry harder and louder. He's holdin' me then holds me less tight and rubs his hands over my back and slowly rocks me back and forth. I can't believe how good this feels. He is also sayin' nice things t' me, whispering in m' ear. He says that I should stop cryin' and that I am a great kid and that he's very happy that I'm here with him tonight because he's been lonely in this big house all by himself and that I can come over here whenever I want to. When I stop cryin' so hard I tell Zack that this has been the best day of my entire life and Zack rubs my back again and tells me everythin' is gonna be all right and then he kisses the top of my head. It feels so good...bein' held by somebody who really seems t' like me...who really don't mind holding me...and don't seem t' care that I'm a crip...and that I'm ugly...and so sinful...and...so bad. Zack holds me close until I stop cryin'. It really feels so good. He tells me that we have t' finish undressing me and get int' the tub. He goes int' the bathroom t' shut off the water. When he comes back he asks how he can help me remove my hooks. I tell him what t' do and he does everything very slowly and very gently and suddenly I see him standin' in from of me holding all the 'quipment I wear. I am very embarrassed again. My stumps are still covered by the stump coverin's I put over them to keep them from becoming rubbed by the plastic of the hooks and becomin' scraped and blistered. Zack can't see the skin of my stumps yet but still I'm embarrassed and just stare at the floor. But he can see the length of my cut off arms and my elbows and the tops of my arms. He lifts up my undershirt and then I begin to cry again. It's almost like a signal for him to hold me again. He sits on the bed again and I stand between his legs and put m' head on his shoulder. "There's nothing to cry about, Val," he says very softly into my ear. I shake my head. "There is!" I say loudly. "Okay, if there is, then please tell me." I shake my head again. "I can't, Zack!" "Why can't you?" he asks me and now he's speakin' a little louder. I just shake my head again. He puts his hand under my chin and lifts my head up slowly and very gently. I open my eyes and he's lookin' right at me. He's starin' right into m' eyes with his big blue eyes...and they look like they're burnin' right int' me. "'Cause I look the way I look," I say while I'm still cryin'. "And because I got no hands. Because I'm ugly and I know...I know that nobody can...can love me...or even like me...any more. And I'm so sinful and bad. Nobody can treat me like a real normal boy ever again." "Val, what did we speak about yesterday and even earlier today?" he asks me. I'm just cryin' and he continues to talk. "You are not ugly. You are a beautiful kid and I love having you with me. I love having you with me very, very much. I want you to remember that. Okay?" I nod my head and he continues. "Remember yesterday how I was stroking your arm and your hook?" I nod again. "Well, didn't that tell you something? Didn't it tell you that I like everything about you and nothing that you can say or do will ever change the way I feel about you?" Now I start cryin' even harder 'cause he says that he really, really likes me and the way I am. He takes me into his arms again and hugs me very tight and I put my arms around him again and I squeeze him as tight as I can with all my strength. Then he says to me, "You're a great kid, Val. A wonderful person. And I want you to know...from the bottom of my heart...that I love you...and want to help you...and want you to let me help you." He looks at me and there are tears in his eyes. "I will be here for you. I want you to believe that. You can always call on me if there is anything you need." He hugs me again. "Is that okay with you? Do you understand?" I can't believe what he just said. He said that he loves me and wants to help me. I pull away from him and give him a strange look. I don't know if I should believe him or not. Is he telling me the truth? Is he makin' fun of me? Then I think, "Why should lie to me? Why should he be makin' fun of me when he's been so nice to me for two days now?" I nod and smile at him and he gives me a big smile back. He pulls me close to his body again and I notice how wonderful he smells. He smells all clean and with a nice odor. I love it when he holds me this way and I know I'll like it even more if he holds me this way and I'm not cryin' on him. "Val," he says, "the bath water is going to get cold if we don't go in there soon. Okay with you?" He thinks for a second then says to me, "Val, one thing is still bothering me. Why did you say before that you are sinful? And bad? What does that mean?" I don't look at him when I tell him. "Mom and the reverend Dr. Farrell say that...t-that God took away my hands 'cause I was v-very sinful and a bad boy and all, and I did all the bad things and didn't love God enough." Zack just stares at me and doesn't say anythin'. "I see," he says still starin' at me. "Okay," he finally says, "Let's get you into the bath. We'll talk about this at another time." I nod. "I havta finish getting' undressed first, Zack." He laughs and begins to take off the stump coverings on both my arms. This is the first time that anyone but my mom and the docs see my arm stumps and he really stares at 'em. I drop 'em to my sides and move them behind my back 'cause I don't want him lookin' at 'em. I know he thinks they're terribly ugly and I don't want him seein' 'em, all covered with scars and burns and patches of skin. I also know that he won't be my friend anymore after he sees 'em. And he then looks right into my eyes again. He's starin' at me and I'm starin' at him and then he reaches for one of my stumps and gently grasps onto it with his hand. He lifts it slowly. I don't know what he's gonna do but he's still starin' at me. When the stump is right in front of him he looks down at it. He looks at it for what seems like a long time t' me. Then he moves his other hand and being to gently rub the end of that stump. He smiles at me and I don't know what to do. It feels so good this rubbin' of the end of my arm. Zack keeps rubbin' it very slowly and looks at it close. He gives me a small smile and tilts his head to the side. He then slowly puts that arm down and takes the other one in his hands and does the same thing with that one. I'm still very embarrassed, him lookin' at my arm stumps and all, but I like the feelin' I'm gettin' very much. I'm gettin' this wonderful warm feelin' in my whole body with him gently rubbin' the skin on my stumps. It feels so soothin' and comfy...and just plain great! And...and...then...then I feel...I feel...my...my dick...is gettin' hard. This is terrible! My little dick's gettin' all hard! And right in front of Zack. Now I'm really 'barrassed and I can feel my face gettin' all hot and I can feel that I'm beginnin' t' sweat. Zack lifts my other arm and now he's holdin' both my arms and lookin' at the stumpy ends of 'em. He looks at me and smiles. What's he smilin' about? What the hell is so funny about my arm stumps? What he's doin' is startin' t' annoy me even though my dick is still hard and I'm feeling rather good. Then...then he does somethin' that just completely slays me and just totally blows my mind. He kisses 'em. That's right! He raises those two ugly, scarred and burned ends of my arms and kisses 'em! I don't know what to think...I jus' don't know! I know if I didn't have a stiff dick I wudda pissed in my shorts. But then he kisses 'em again and then rubs his lips over 'em. When he lifts his head his is smilin' a great big smile and I'm not knowin' what's goin' on! "What's that matter, Val?' he asks in a very quiet voice. I shake my head not knowin' what to do. "Don't you like what I'm doing?" he asks. I'm all rattled but I gotta answer him. "I like it," I say very quiet. "I like it a lot. But why are you doin' it to my ugly stumps?" And he says, "I don't think they're ugly. Actually, Val, and you may think I crazy because I'm saying this, but I think they're very attractive. In fact, if you want the complete truth, I think they are very beautiful...just like the rest of you." Then he just looks hard at me and says, "And I don't think that you're sinful, Val. An innocent child like you cannot be sinful...or bad." Now I really start to cry all over again. I pull my arms away from Zack and throw them around his neck. He puts his arms around me and hugs me and squeezes me real hard. I crawl up into his lap and I feelin' so incredibly comfortable. I'm also so ashamed of cryin' again but I can't help it. I'm just so happy all I wanna do is cry. All I can do is cry. "I'm sorry, Zack. I'm so...so sorry t' be cryin' like this...cryin' all the time and all." "There's nothing to be sorry about, Val. I know it comes as a shock to you...and I know you weren't expecting me to say it...but I think your stumps...your stumps and your arms are very...very beautiful and I really like them." I pull away from his slightly and look into his eyes. He must be tellin' the truth...he must! He takes my stumps in his hands again and starts rubbin' them softly again. "Oh, God! Zack! That feels so...so good! It really feels wonderful." "It does?" "Yeah, it does. It's so great and my whole...my whole body feels so wonderful. Every part...every single part feels awesome!" "I'm real glad, Val. I'm very happy I can make you feel this good." I give Zack a real, real big smile and he returns it. He kisses me on the forehead and I love it. I can't never remember bein' this loved before. At least not in a long, long time. It's such a wonderful feelin'! "Now, we really do need to get you into that tub, Val. Ready?" I really panic. If I get all the way undressed then Zack'd see my dick was all hard. I back away from him. I felt that my face was all hot. He looked at me with such a kind look on his face. "I know, Val," he says. "Know w-w-what?" I say all nervous like. "I know you have a...I know that your penis is stiff. I felt it when I was hugging you." I look at the floor. "Don't be embarrassed, Val. It's very natural." Now he looks down at the floor. "To tell you the truth, I'm also a little stiff myself." "Why are you stiff?" "Because that's what happens when I get excited. That's the way men are. This is what happens when I'm with someone I like very much." He opens his arms again and I move quick to let him hug me again and I think I can feel his stiff dick in his shorts. It feels so nice and comfy to know that we really like each other and that we have the same feelins for each other. ************************************** The bath is very, very wonderful and I feel so nice and clean when I'm in it. I think 'bout it and then I asked Zack if, ya know, if he'd like t' wash my whole body. He gives me a great big smile and says "yes." He does a real, real great job. He washes my hair and my arms and under my arms and he washes my arm stumps very nice. He washes my neck then down my chest and my back and then he asks me t' stand up. He helps me stand and I see that my little dick is hard and standin' up. Zack looks at it and smiles again. I smile back at him. I like it when he looks at my body. It's strange, but I really like it. It makes me feel good...and happy. Then he washes the rest of my chest and over my dick and down my legs and up my legs and my butt. He lets the washcloth move so gentle in the crack of my butt and over my little ass hole that I gasp. It feels so incredibly good and very soothin' and very, very excitin'. He next brings the washcloth up to my dick and balls and soaps them up real good. He puts the washcloth down and with his hand he washes me all over my crotch. He gently peels back the foreskin on my dick and washes me very good all over. My dick feels really great and I just love the feelin' of his hands going over and over me. I really love it so much what he's doin' and I never feel better in all my life even when I do it to myself in my room. He keeps doing it and doing it until I feel that I gonna have the thing that happens when I'm in my bed and rubbing my dick and balls with my stumps. Zack moves one of his hands up to my little nipples, which are standin' out far. He begins to rub one of the nipples all over at the same time rubbin' my dick. It feels totally awesome! I never, ever feel anything like it in my life. Then he does somethin' that really blows my mind. He begins t' pinch my nipple with his fingers and I go totally nuts. My brain don't understan' what's happenin'! I'm goin' crazy! The feelins in my body are just...just... Then it hits me very strong like I'm hit by a big truck and my body starts movin' and shakin' all over and I feel like the top of my head is gonna blow off. Zack keeps one hand on my chest and the other hand he puts on my back and he's holdin' me while my body is movin' and jerkin' all over the place. I feel that both my arms are flyin' in the air and the ends feel cool from wavin' 'em. Then...then...then I begin to quiet down like what happens in my bed and Zack helps me to sit back down in the tub. He's still holdin' me and then I open my eyes again. "That was some orgasm you had Val. It was a real great big beauty!" he says with a big smile on his face. "Orga...orgasm?" I say very quietly. "Wass tha'?" He smiled at me again and laughed a little. "An orgasm is what you just had, Val. It's sometime called many other things like reaching a climax or climaxing or blowin' a load or coming or...well, lots of other things. It's when a man reaches a sexual high. You just did that. Did it feel good to you?" "It was fantastical! Just awesome, Zack!' "I'm glad you liked it." He strokes my shoulder so gently. "I loved helping you...I just loved making you feel good, Val." "And I liked how you did it too." We smile at each other and then he begins to drain the water from the tub. He grabs a great big towel from a drawer, lifts me outta the tub and wraps me all up in it. It's so soft and smooth and I love the feel of it on my body as he dries me. It feels so great! He rubs me all over and dries my dick and balls so gentle and his dries me so nice. He also pays special attention to my arms...and to my stumps. I think that he really does like 'em a lot. He carries me into the bedroom where I'm gonna sleep. When he takes the towel offa me I'm naked and he looks at my body...at my crippled body and I'm very embarrassed in front of him all over again. My little dick is still a hard and I look down at the ground but he kneels in front of me and puts his hand under my chin and lifts my head up. We're lookin' at each other's eyes. His eyes look so kind and nice. Then he speaks in a very low and very nice voice. "Don't be ashamed, Val, because you have a very beautiful body. And don't let anyone tell you different. Don't look away when people look at you. Look them right in the eye. You are great...and you're as good, if not better, than anyone else. So be cool...and be brave. I know it'll take some work on your part, but I think...no, I know...you can do it!" I begin to cry again and I'm afraid that Zack is gonna think that I'm a baby 'cause I'm cryin' so much when I'm with him. But he's so incredibly nice and kind to me that I can't help it. He takes me in his arms again and I feel my hard dick pressin' against his chest. He rubs my back and makes me feel all warm and nice...and loved. He grabs my pajamas and helps me put them on. Then he does something that really, really, like surprises me. Still another thing that surprises me, I should say. Zack's fulla surprises. He rolls up the sleeves of my pajama top until they are up above my elbows. "Whya do this, Zack?" I ask lookin' at the rolled up sleeves. "Because I want to see your arms, Val." "Why?" "Why? I told you before, don't you remember? Because I like them. Because I think they're very beautiful, that's why. The doctors who operated on you did a very excellent job, you know. Your stumps are beautifully formed...and I think they're attractive. Also, because I think you are very beautiful and attractive." I start cryin' again and I just hate, hate, hate myself for doin' it. I know that Zack must think I'm sucha weaklin'...and not a real boy. But I feel so comfortable with him...with this handsome and carin' and strong man. I'm losin' track of how many times I'm cryin' and ballin' with Zack. He holds me again and I don't want him t' think that I cry just so I can be held and hugged by him. "Why are ya bein' so nice t' me and treatin' me so special, Zack?" "Why? Why do you think? Because I like you Val, I like you very much and I want you to like me. That's all. And I don't think I'm being especially nice to you. I'm treating you like I try to treat everyone, with kindness and with respect. You happen to be a very wonderful person whom I like very much. I want you to be welcome here, and to feel comfortable here in this house, and want you to come back often. That's all." I move close to him again and he takes me into his arms and hugs me close. I put my arms around him and hug him real tight. I've lost count the number of times we've hugged tonight and I love it every time. I bury my face in his neck and I kiss him on his neck. I open my mouth a little and lick his neck a little bit. I like what I'm doin' a lot. This is so wonderful and I feel so wonderful that I can't say anything. I can't...it's impossible for me t' speak. Maybe, I think, maybe Zack really does like me a lot...maybe he even...maybe he even loves me a little bit...and that I've finally found someone...a person...someone who'll like me the way I am now...like me the way I'll be forever. To Be Continued...