Date: Fri, 10 Mar 2023 23:23:13 +0000
From: Lizard69 <69lizard69@pm.me>
Subject: Swap

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Swap (Mm)
Lizard69


	"Why are you doing that?"

	"Doing what?"

	"Looking at me like I've got mustard or something on my chin."

	"Ask me when we're rolling again.  The clock is running and any
time I'm not driving is money out of my pocket.  I only stop for lunch
because splitting my attention between driving and eating isn't fair to
other traffic."

	When we were rolling long enough it didn't look like he was going
to bring it up I decided to nudge him a little.

	"Sooo?"

	"All right.  I was a little surprised that you wanted to ride
through the summer.  You didn't seem to have much of a problem with me
breaking you in but after I dropped you off I started feeling a little
guilty.  Not too much, I mean, there are plenty of creeps that would have
done a lot worse to a kid with no where to go and no way to get there in
any case."

	"Please don't do that.  You're starting to sound like my mom,
making excuses for the latest douche bag she hooked up with or wanting me
to cut her some slack for not being a total whore."

	"Ok, right after you got here again, when we were doing that `proof
of consent' role play video, you tossed out a comment about learning to
suck face from a guy who can cum in your mouth any time he feels like it."

	"I didn't think you had any problem with coming in my mouth."

	"I don't.  The way you made the comment though, so totally casual,
got me thinking."

	"So, back at lunch you were remembering how I look with cum on my
chin?"

	"More like a minute or so before that.  Does it bother you?"

	"Should it?  I mean, I did it, you liked it, we both know I'm going
to do it again... and again... and not just with you.  When you dropped me
at home I had a lot to think about."

	"You and me both."

	"What you told me, about guys fucking other guys when they didn't
have anything better going wasn't a lie.  Saying it's not queer isn't
exactly the whole truth though.  I mean, a hole is a hole if all you're
looking for is some place to bust a nut.  If your wife knew she wouldn't be
happy but as long as you weren't doing another woman she might not see it
as really cheating.  Like, if she caught you moaning some other woman's
name while you jerk a load off she might be more pissed than if she knew
you were balls deep in a boy."

	"You sure as hell got that right!  It plays the other way too.  I
spend a lot of time on the road and our house isn't a convent but if she
wants to tip a few with one of her gal pals and play like a nun I'm not
going to get my skivvies in a twist."

	"Uh huh, most guys don't get bent out of shape over girl on girl.
With guys though there is a huge difference between if you pitch or catch.
Stick it anywhere you can bust a nut and you're still straight.  Stick it
in me and I'm queer."

	"It's not *that* bad."

	"Ok, maybe I exaggerated a little.  Why I'm letting you do it
matters some.  Trading tail for a ticket to ride isn't the same as looking
for a boyfriend.  When I'm not horny, like for the first five or ten
minutes after I bust a nut, the whole, `fucked by a man', thing is creepy,
perverted and kind of sick.  But the bottom line is that creepy pervert sex
is still better than no sex.  It's something I had to live with for a while
before I could own it."

	"And now?  What exactly do you own?"

	"Uh...  This is just between us right?  Maybe a couple others if we
both agree they should know?"

	"Yeah, I'm not planning to get a banner printed for the trailer."

	"I'm still looking forward to being with a girl.  It's not so life
or death urgent as it was.  Jacking me while we did it was kind of sneaky.
I started looking forward to something that would make the girls I know go,
`eewww'."

	"Not exactly what I intended.  I don't need a school kid acting
like he found true love but I wanted you to be something more than a hole.
I haven't caught you making cow eyes at me and you're embarrassed enough
about what, `we do', and, `we did', that you don't want word to get out so
I guess I split the difference pretty close."

	"I guess that's what I mean by owning it.  You're not some evil
creep forcing me to help you get your rocks off.  We're having sex.  I
*like* having sex.  If I finish a little stretched and sore, feeling like a
pervo because I'm so splattered with cock snot I can't tell how much of it
is mine, well, I knew the price of the ticket before I got on the bus."

	"So, you're turning gay?"

	"I don't know.  I don't think so.  I mean not like I'm turning into
something different.  I'm still the same kid I was six months ago, but with
a better understanding of what I was then.  You're not a boyfriend, not
much of friend really, just a guy I know.  I like riding with you, seeing
new places, meeting new people, learning new stuff."

	"Like...?"

	"Like how many straight men will fuck a boy if they can be pretty
sure nobody will care.  I heard that some queers call it gay-dar, picking
up on whether some dude is wondering what it would be like to do them.  It
doesn't work with guys my own age."

	"I'm sure some of them are queer."

	"You're probably right.  There's no way to pick them out from the
rest who are just so horny they look at everybody and everything like
they're wondering if they could fuck it.  Mom's latest boyfriend is an
asshole, no surprises there.  What's surprising is how many normal, decent,
people seem to be interested.  After I notice it starts to make sense.
Like, nobody is gonna be shocked that the guy who runs the hobby shop is
checking me out.  Or the youth group leader at our church might want to
lead me away from the rest of the kids, at least for twenty minutes or so."

	"Ok, those probably aren't your imagination.  What about the
others?  Are you sure you aren't doing anything to get them interested?"

	"Like flirting?  If I knew how I'd have a girlfriend by now.
They're showing more interest too, like they can tell I'm not a virgin
anymore.  Not like they're getting in line, more like my name is now on the
list of possibles."

	"Not surprising.  Girls go for a guy who wants them.  They have no
respect at all for a guy who needs them."

	"That's probably the first thing I've heard about girls that makes
any kind of sense at all."

	Conversation drifted into small talk, even trailing off into
silence now and then, something that would have had him babbling when they
first met.  In the days, weeks now, that he'd been riding with Rick, Mike
had become much more relaxed around the older man.  The Peterbilt itself
had become a familiar place.  Instead of being some kind of exotic escape
pod taking him away from the crap at home it was more like a specialized RV
for a guy working while traveling.  There was no room for dead weight.
Everything and everyone in it had a role to play.

	Rick was running a business with himself as the single employee.
He had to keep track of the money coming in, contract for the services he
couldn't do himself, watch that expenses didn't get out of hand, all while
doing the physical work of getting the loads from pickup to drop point.  It
still left a fairly large chunk of each day when he had run out the clock
on how long he could drive but wasn't ready to hit the rack and start
snoring.  Before Mike he'd often spent that time with a couple beers and a
porn vid, maybe a lot lizard though they seemed to be a pretty sorry bunch.
By the time they were parked for the night and had a chance to chow down
they were both ready to play.  They had fallen into the habit of keeping
things sort of low key through the afternoon to finish the day at a level
which was closer to pleasantly edgy than full blown panting and drooling.
They were sitting on the bunk watching a gay porn vid, very close to the
same as the first time they were together.

	"Is that your favorite scene?  An overweight, middle aged guy,
getting down on a skinny kid that looks like he's still in his teens?"

	"What can I say, I like my entertainment to be realistic.  The
popular porn stars are all fashion model types that would have to lose a
bet to even let me pay for it.  The amateurs who are fresh enough to be
interesting wouldn't spread for anything close to what I'm willing to
spend.  You were a better lay than most of the skanks working the lot
before you did your first guy."

	"Uh...  Thanks, I think.  You know, that might be why I don't have
more of a problem with this.  Like, I can let some fat, creepy, pervert
fuck me if he *isn't* the kind of guy a hot girl or even a real queer would
want to be with."

	"Yeah?  If I didn't get such a kick out of doing you I'd probably
feel really insulted right now."

	"You'll get over it.  Imagine what it's like for me.  A couple
months ago I was the average, terminally horny, virgin boy.  Cocksucker was
something you said to start a fight.  Then I got caught between bad and
worse.  Going home wasn't an option and if I stayed on the road, sooner or
later saying no wouldn't be an option either.  The main reason I said yes
was because you seemed like the kind of perv who would still listen if I
said no."

	"So you're a better judge of character than your mom."

	"Not a high bar to get over.  What I didn't expect, didn't believe
when you first told me about it was that I'd start to like it.  Take off
your sweats."

	Mike could still hear the gay porn vid as he knelt between Ricks
hairy thighs, slowly stroking his half hard cock into a full erection.

	"You probably don't need the vid anymore but I don't mind the
competition."

	"You shouldn't, you've made hotter."

	"Another thing I should be mad that you did to me.  The way the
bottom dropped out of my gut when I found out you recorded my first time
with a guy was terrible.  I was ready to do stuff I wouldn't do at gunpoint
to keep anyone from seeing that vid."

	"Yeah, well, I'll wipe it if you want.  I'm pretty sure now you
wouldn't throw me under the bus if we got caught."

	"It doesn't matter.  You never tried to blackmail me.  I don't mind
you watching it.  Uh, actually it's kind of hot.  Like, a way to have sex
even when there's some reason we can't be together."

	"Not like now, are you going to do something with that cock in
front of you?"

	Instead of more talk Mike leaned in and started lightly kissing and
licking his way up and down Rick's hardon.  Soon, whenever he got to the
head there was a drop of pre-cum waiting for him.  Mike would swirl it
around, mopping it up with his tongue, and start another trip down his
shaft.  After a while he switched to opening his mouth wide and taking as
much as he could without choking.

	"That feels fuckin' fantastic!  Take your time.  Keep trying to go
deeper but if you can't don't force it.  You'll know what it's like to have
me balls deep in either end before you have to go back to school."

	As Rick got closer to busting a nut he'd start thrusting and Mike
would back off, letting him cool down a bit.  Eventually Mike felt him
tense up, followed by the surge of each dollop of spunk as it traveled up
Ricks shaft, filled a mouth already crowded with cock, and oozed out past
his lips to flow down over the hand still milking the older guys hardon.
When Rick recovered enough to make eye contact again Mike couldn't resist.

	"There!  You're doing it again!  Just like at lunch, staring at my
face like I've got mustard or something on my chin."

	"Get your face up here.  If I'm gonna be a fat old perv anyway I
might as well tongue fuck a glazed donut."

	They were rolling again at sunrise, passing the time and miles with
small talk about cars and sports, the usual guy stuff.  They both knew it
was coming, felt like they were setting some kind of record, finding other
shit to talk about.  It was close to lunch before the topic turned to sex.

	"You know I was just jerking your chain last night, right?  I know
exactly what you're thinking about when you look at my face like that.  I'd
be lying if I said it doesn't bother me, or even trying to pass it off as
no big deal.  What we did, how much you liked it, how much I *wanted* you
to like it, is a pretty big deal.  But it's still creepy.  Doing it again
and again until I get used to it doesn't change that."

	"Yeah, well, as long as you can deal with it I don't have a problem
either."

	"The problem is that it's not enough of a problem."

	"Are you sure you're not trying to become a girl?"

	"It's just everything is changing so fast.  That first time, I
didn't have anywhere else to go or any way to get there.  If it wasn't you
it was going to be somebody else and while the whole idea was kinda sick I
really didn't know what I was getting into.  Then I found out and decided
it was something I could live with, at least for a while.  The more we did
it the easier it got but even at the beginning it wasn't, `wreck the rest
of your life', terrible.  I was a lot more scared that somebody would see
the vid than I was about having to do it again."

	"Yeah, I got that feeling too.  It's part of why I let you keep
riding with me instead of finding some way to point you towards home."

	"When you finally dropped me at home I thought I could close the
book and go back to normal.  Only I found out normal isn't there anymore."

	"Once a kid figures out how to jerk off, he isn't going to stop
more than a few days at a time.  Getting yourself off without thinking
about sex might be technically possible but sure as hell wouldn't be much
fun.  So if the only real sex you've had is some old guy fucking you..."

	"While some other kid is thinking about the cheerleader who sits
next to him in math class, I'm remembering what it was like getting naked
and doing anything a horny perv wanted until he couldn't get it up again.
Nothing is going to make me hate getting a load off.  Busting a nut while
you're perving on me started out really awkward.  Then it got to be just
embarrassing.  And now it's, like, something I do.  I'm not going to update
all my online profiles but if somebody finds out I'm not going to hang
myself either."

	"Is this where you start accusing me of making you gay?"

	"No, I still believe what you said, a perv can make me do
something, nobody can make me be something.  Thinking about girls still
gets me horny."

	"You're an adolescent boy.  Reading the restaurant menu gets you
horny.  You'd fuck the crack of dawn if you could figure out how.  There's
a travel plaza up ahead.  I try to avoid fast food but we can grab a couple
burgers to keep us going until I run out the driving clock."

	They were eating at an outside table, but still put the topic on
hold just to make sure no passing stranger could overhear.  Soon they were
up and rolling again.

	"Ok, I'm an adolescent boy, what's your excuse?"

	"Just a natural perv I guess.  It helps that you're tall for your
age and skinny as a freakin' runway model.  Now that you're getting a
little more relaxed about it you're more fuckable than half the women I've
met.  If you're across the table from me it doesn't take much to get me
thinking about the last time I was on you, in you.  But it's not like
you're on the table with your butt greased and your legs up."

	"Be interesting to see how the waitress would react."

	"Ya think?  There are places where you'd have more guys getting in
line than calling the cops but a truck stop restaurant isn't one of them."

	"Thanks, another thing I really, really, didn't need to think
about."

	"Glad I could help.  What I was getting to is that thinking about
how much I like fucking you isn't even close to watching you eat something
other than my dick.  The face I watched spit shining my knob is the same
one you show the whole world.  Just sitting here talking about this stuff
is like some kind of oral sex."

	Things got really quiet for a while before Mike finally had to say
something.

	"Uh, this is kind of awkward.  Have you ever been in a spot where
you think one thing is happening and then suddenly realize something
completely different is going on?  Like sitting on a riverbank watching the
water flow past until it feels like the water is standing still and the
place you're sitting is moving?"

	"Or driving down a road sure that you are going one way and
suddenly seeing a sign or landmark and finding out you're going in the
opposite direction?  Been there... maybe a little more often than I want to
admit."

	"I'm not going to tell the whole world you're fucking me but if
it's just us talking it would be silly to pretend you're not.  When we met
I needed to get away from a bad situation.  You offered a ride and sex was
part of the deal.  I thought it was the same this time.  It was a good idea
to get out of the house for a while and being with you was a plan B I
already knew I could deal with.  Only it isn't what I thought.  Letting
some old guy fuck me so I don't have to go home isn't plan B."

	"You're here for the sex."

	"Yeah.  This rig is where you work, where you live while you're on
the road.  It's also where I get fucked.  It doesn't even have to be your
truck.  When Arty did me I told myself it was so I could get to where you
would pick me up.  Maybe it was... mostly.  If Arty had a car and wanted me
to share a motel bed I think I would have said pass.  Being in a rig was
like half way to fucking before he asked me.  Calling you about it and
accidentally letting him know you were doing me pretty much sealed the
deal."

	"I don't mind sharing a good thing when I find it.  Part of being
your first was knowing I was breaking you in, not staking a claim.  I'm
glad you managed to turn yourself out.  If Arty and I were still driving
team neither one of us would have had the nerve to bring you on board.  If
we did, it would have been about three days before we were doubling up
instead of just sharing you one on one."

	"I wish you'd stop doing that."

	"Doing what?"

	"Saying things about shit I haven't done... yet.  I would never
have thought about doing you and Arty together on my own.  Now I'm totally
sure that if we're ever on the same lot at night I'm gonna get double
dicked.  I doubt like hell I'll even try to talk you out of it."

	"For such a horny little slut, you don't have much of an
imagination."

	"Oh come on!  I'm not *that* horny."

	"Maybe not compared to the normal run of hormone soaked teens.  The
joke when I was your age is that a tramp does it with everybody, a slut
does it with everybody but you.  I guess that's another thing that's
different for guys.  Like if you're a top, and you don't want to fuck
there's something wrong with you.  If you're a bottom, and nobody has to
make you do that kind of sex, you're either a queer or a slut, maybe both."

	"Yeah, I sort of figured that out.  I don't have a shortage of
imagination either.  If anything it's the opposite.  Once the seed has been
planted it kinda takes on a life of its own.  Like when Arty texted me to
confirm I was catching a ride.  I knew it was going to be three, maybe four
days until we hooked up.  Somehow I lost track of time and was just
starting to rub one out when mom got home from work.  Instead of ducking
into the bathroom for a quick finish I put it off until later.  Somewhere
along the line I started to wonder what it would be like to hold off, not
bust a nut until we hooked up again."

	"You should have said something, if we were on the same page your
first night back would have been wild."

	"If I'm horny enough to beg for it, and you're ready to ram a
hardon right through my Levis, maybe too wild.  I'm not a really little kid
but you're half a head taller, twice as heavy and no matter how much I want
it, if you're rutting on me like a wild boar I could really get hurt.
Besides, I didn't know if I could.  Like, if I miss one day I have a hard
time thinking about anything else.  Two days and I can't sneeze without
wondering if the snot has a sperm count."

	"So by the time Arty picked you up?"

	"Three days without getting a load off and expecting at least one
more before we could hook up.  He didn't exactly have to twist my arm to
get my pants off.  Uh, you know I'm not into rough stuff.  Just doing it
with a man is creepy enough to be kinky.  Even when you go slow, use plenty
of lube, it can still be pretty uncomfortable, especially right at first.
You saw the video I took, how he kind of let me set the pace.  You couldn't
see what was going on inside my head."

	"Oh?  Is it time to play `true confessions'?"

	"What else have we been doing for most of the day?  Anyway, by the
time I got my clothes off I was doing this really sick role play thing.
Only it was mostly real.  Like, Arty was this random guy somebody set me up
with.  I thought he was giving me a ride and didn't find out until we were
rolling that he knew some other guy was fucking me.  He wants to do me too
but isn't going to twist my arm.

	"So, the guy who has been fucking me wants me to do Arty.  Not like
it's really important but there could be a problem for him unless I do it
with this total stranger.  He has no idea it's been days since I did
anything.  Being that horny combined with him wanting me to do it is almost
like having a gun to my head."

	"Oh...  Wow..."

	"I knew what was going to happen, that each of us had our own
reason for wanting it to happen.  But I also knew that the reasons for
doing it were so creepy that if each of us told the others we'd be too
embarrassed about it to do anything."

	"So you let him fuck you."

	"Not exactly, uh, I'm starting to feel like the worlds creepiest
perv just talking about it.  Anyway, I'm getting undressed, a little
awkward, kind of embarrassed about being with a stranger and sort of weird
about you wanting me to do it.  Not really angry but kind of, I don't know,
resentful maybe, that I had to do this to keep you from having a problem.
At the same time knowing that it was only a problem for you after I called
about accidentally sending Arty the same selfie I sent you earlier.  I was
paying for my own mistake."

	"Hey!  I tried to make it crystal clear that it was completely up
to you."

	"Uh huh, you never even came close to leaning on me.  You were
ready to deal with any problems on your own.  But you also told me how much
it could help.  Maybe that's part of why I decided to make a video.  I was
already in your porn collection.  You weren't going to see anything you
haven't already done with me.  I kind of wanted to rub it in your face,
like, `You think this is hot?  A straight kid doing queer with a total
stranger?'  All the while knowing that, yeah, it *is* pretty hot.  As soon
as I started the selfie I could see my hands were shaking bad enough it was
going to look like an epileptic recorded it.  Planting my hands against the
back wall of Arty's sleeper helped.  Stepping back so I was leaning into
the wall was better.  Spreading my ankles as far as the floor space allowed
was, like, automatic.  His hands were all over me for about three seconds
before he had a couple of greasy fingers up me while the other hand was
playing with my nipples.  It didn't take much of that before we were both
ready to have him plant his lubed up knob against my hole..."

	"So?  Why'd you stop?"

	"I almost asked Arty the same thing before I realized I was
probably his first kid.  It didn't take a genius to figure out what came
next but even if he had some kind of mental menu there is no way he could
know how much of it I would be ok with.  He was holding my hips as I pushed
back onto his cock, not pulling, just keeping me lined up.  After I opened
up enough to take him to the hilt he started moving with me but still let
me set the pace.  It was so plain vanilla he didn't even try to kiss me.
That was kind of where it went off the rails."

	"Uh oh."

	"Yeah, like what you said about lot lizards.  Whores don't kiss.
Arty wasn't playing with me, in his mind at least I was whoring myself for
a meal and a ride.  It hit me so hard I went weak kneed, until I was down
on all fours, phone still recording but propped against the wall so I
didn't have to hold it.  Something inside me started going kind of numb,
like it didn't really matter, but this huge thing was happening to me, I
wanted it to matter.  He gave me a reach around then started shortening the
strokes until he was holding his hand still.  That finished me.  I started
fucking his hand, harder and harder, which meant his cock was ramming into
me the same way.  It went from gay sex to having this grown man rutting on
me like a horny pig.  By the time he finished I'd popped my load as well
from the hand job I was getting but to be honest I might have cum with it
just waving around in open air."

	"I, uh, I don't know what to say."

	"Me either.  Except for one other thing.  I'm not a whore.  Maybe
it was a little bit like that when we first hooked up.  It was pretty
awkward for me.  I knew before we did it that it probably wasn't going to
be a one time thing but I didn't spend a lot of time thinking it through.
At the beginning of that second day, riding with you after losing my
cherry, I was just `no', like `no way can I do that again'.  By the time we
finished lunch I got back in the truck, telling myself I'd leave when we
stopped for the night.  Then it was a choice of taking off with no place to
go or getting into the sleeper.  The next day was easier, and the day
after.  I would have expected that if I thought it through.  What I didn't
expect was this."

	"This?"

	"Being able to talk to you like this.  When we first met I would
have gone into a blushing, stuttering, meltdown trying to talk about this
stuff.  Like the difference between being with you and Arty.  Technically,
I guess what we're doing is homo sex.  If everybody found out you were
fucking me it would get kind of rough for a while, then it would get back
to something like normal.  Now and then some new kid would find out this
old guy does it to me but it wouldn't be news anymore.  The people I hang
with don't know you, never met you and never will.  It's not like having
*that* guy picking me up after school, or some creepy teacher telling me to
come in after my last class for special tutoring."

	"A judge would call it statutory rape because of your age.  With
the rainbow crowd getting so radical it might not get prosecuted unless
somebody kept pushing the complaint."

	"With Arty, it started feeling creepy when he showed me that
misdirected selfie.  Then I called and unintentionally dragged you into it.
Doing it with him started out perverted and went downhill from there.  Sex
with a stranger was awkward.  Being his, well, his slut, actively trying to
get him off was about as degrading as it gets.  It grabbed my attention so
much that getting my own load off was almost a surprise.  At the time I
felt a little sick about that.  Thinking about it afterwards I realized I
had a lot more going on than I was ready to deal with while it was
happening.  Like I, uh, I kind of wanted it... sick huh?"

	"A little, maybe enough you won't be wildly pissed at me.  I've got
a confession of my own.  You didn't accidentally send Arty the wrong
selfie.  When we were driving team we talked a lot but never did the fuck
buddy thing.  Since then we've kept in touch, trading pics when we snapped
one of something hot.  One day he sent a pic of a not quite female lot
lizard.  I honestly don't know if it was intentional.  After I commented
that `he' was still hotter than most we started adding trannies to the pics
we swapped.  I didn't know I sent him the wrong pic of who to meet up with
until you called me, thinking it was your own mistake.  I didn't have the
nerve right then to bite the bullet and set the record straight.  Showing
me the video of you, uh, slutting for him didn't make it any easier."

	"Oh...  Wow...  This is exactly what I was talking about.  Like I
should be about as pissed off as I can possibly get, but I'm not.  If you
said anything ahead of time, if you tried to twist my arm even a little
bit, I would have gone totally spaz.  I still would have done it, maybe
even made the video of it.  Only it would have been more like, `look what
you made me do', instead of, `having a wonderful time, you wish you were
queer'.  It doesn't change anything that happened, just the way I feel
about it.  Like I'm still pretty sure the next time Arty is on the same lot
with us I'm going to do both of you.  Only now I'm looking forward to it."

	The truck stop where Rick's driving clock timed out that day had a
motel with a pool next door.  I decided to spend a little of my pocket
money on a visitor pass to play in the water while Rick caught up on
paperwork.  It was still early in the afternoon, just past check in time.
Except for another kid my age and a guy in his late twenties or maybe a
little older the pool was empty.  The kid wanted to splash some more but
the guy wanted to unload their gear from the car and wasn't going to let
him swim alone.  He wasn't exactly happy when I showed up but caved in,
muttering something about the kid making up for it later.  I hardly had
time to get wet before something clicked inside my head.

	"Hi, I'm Mike."

	"Don."

	"And the guy you're with?"

	"Uh, Mr. Perkins, we kind of hang out, he teaches me stuff.  I
guess it's called being a mentor."

	"I never heard anyone call it that, but I haven't been doing it
very long."

	"Doing what?"

	"Getting fucked by an old guy."

	"I, uh...  Oh God..."

	I can't really say he looked like a bunny in the headlights.
Bunnies don't blush like that.

	"Hey!  Relax, I'm not going to give you a hard time about it.  We
can pretend nothing is going on if you're really too embarrassed to talk
about it.  It's just that, well, I know I'm not the only one but I've never
had a chance to compare notes with anyone else who does it."

	I didn't have enough body fat to actually float.  I could get
pretty close laying back in the water with my wrists on the edge of the
pool.  I didn't have to wait long.

	"Uh, Mike?  What exactly did you mean by comparing notes?"

	"Rick was the guy who broke me in.  I had a home situation that I
needed to get away from for a while.  He picked me up at a truck stop.
When we stopped for the night it was...  This is going to sound really bad.
He wasn't mean about it, just made it clear that I had to put out or get
out.  I didn't feel trapped.  I could leave whenever I wanted.  But I had
nowhere to go and no way to get there.  If it wasn't Rick it was gonna be
somebody else, if not that night pretty damn soon."

	"Mr. Perkins teaches archaeology at a college.  I started going to
his open lecture series, no tuition, no course credit.  On the weekends he
had field trips and dump digs.  The others lost interest until it was just
him and me.  When the lecture series ended we sort of went one on one.  Oh
God, that sounds totally gay.  He was the first adult who was really
interested in me.  Not like parents, they have to at least pretend to care
if they don't want you growing up to be a total monster.  Mr. Perkins
showed me how digging up bits and pieces taught us about different
cultures, showed how the same patterns played out over and over in
different times and places.  When he got to the subject of older men and
young boys, he kind of gave me the same choice you had.  For me it was more
about giving up something I wanted than going back to something bad."

	"So we both started getting man fucked.  That much is the same.
Rick is pretty chill but just a guy, nobody special.  The first time was
like, eewww.  Now, if I'm horny enough it's better than solo."

	"How horny?"

	"Whenever I'm awake and it's been more than ten minutes since the
last time.  To be where we can do it I have to ride with him, not like
hooking up with the neighborhood creep.  The up side is I don't have nosy
neighbors commenting on how much time I'm spending with `that guy'.  I'm
comfortable with Rick.  He isn't gonna get carried away and tear me up or
start running his mouth around people who know me."

	"Uh, how about people who don't know you?  Or maybe just don't know
you yet?"

	"Sounds like your guy has turned you out, got you to do it with
somebody else."

	"Yeah, a friend of his, only one so far but who knows how long that
will last."

	"Uh huh, it's kind of like crossing a line or taking things up a
level.  Maybe down a level depending on how you feel about it."

	"We, uh, we didn't do the, `just this once', or, `ok but only a
little', thing.  I knew from the beginning I'd be doing it any time he
wanted.  But, well, it was just him.  Mr. Perkins isn't the energizer bunny
or some kid who has to do a hand stand when he needs to pee.  When Brian
and him got done I was totally wrecked."

	"They doubled up?  I haven't done that yet.  It's part of this list
of stuff that's on menu now.  I knew Rick wasn't going to be my, `one and
only forever', guy.  It's kind of a relief that I *can* be with somebody
else and not have like a first time all over again thing.  Rick isn't
making me do it, with him or anybody.  It's just, if I know Rick wants me
to be with a guy, who isn't some kind of total disaster, it's a safe bet
that I'm gonna get fucked."

	"That's what I'm worried about.  When I got home that night I
jerked it in the shower while I cleaned up.  I was almost asleep when it
hit me.  It wasn't just Mr. Perkins anymore.  I was going to do it with
anyone he wanted to give me to.  I got so hard I had to jerk off again."

	"That sounds kind of wild.  I'm with Rick, but I'm not really
*his*.  We're nice to each other because we both want to have sex.  I'm
pretty sure I'll at least try to do anything he wants.  The idea of wanting
to be with a guy so much that you'll do whatever he wants, even if you're
not queer, is a creepy kind of hot.  Uh, I've got an idea about how you can
be the one that takes it up another level.  How about this..."

	A couple hours later, when we were all ready to settle for the
night I used Don's key card to let myself into the room he was sharing with
Mr. Perkins.

	"What are you doing here?  Where's Don?  He told me he was picking
up a snack at the truck stop."

	"I ran into him there and talked him into taking the long way home.
Don is in a rig on the back lot of the truck stop.  He doesn't know which
one because he let me blindfold him before I brought him there.  He's
sitting on the bunk in the sleeper next to Rick, a guy he has never met and
can't pick out of a line up.  They're waiting for a phone call from you."

	"Oh?  Why?  What are they expecting from me?"

	"Don told me about you turning him out for Brian.  You had him
confess to a total stranger that you were fucking him, and offer to
pleasure Brian as well.  He was getting a little raw by the time the two of
you finished.  It didn't matter.  What's important to him is making you
happy."

	"Yeah, well, I'm not exactly thrilled about him running his mouth."

	"I think you will be.  I told him that it will probably happen
again but telling people you're fucking him is risky.  If it's ok with you,
Don will ask Rick to help him make a video.  Think of it as a demo tape,
something you can show people who might want to fuck him, without having to
admit you had him yourself.  Will you tell him to do it do it in front of a
camera?  Not just let Rick fuck him, put on a show, enough to convince
anyone who sees it that he's the pervert, a kid who gets off on being a
fuck puppet for old guys."

	"You can't be serious!"

	"Just for the record, I'm totally serious but it doesn't
matter. Give Don a call and find out if *he's* serious."

	The view out the window was empty real estate away from the
highway.  The windowless short side of the building faced the truck stop in
order to help block noise.  I didn't need to see Rick's truck, any more
than I needed to give any attention to the half of the conversation I could
overhear if I wanted to.  I was still looking out when he finished the call
and started talking to me.

	"You probably think I'm some kind of monster."

	"I'm not sure what to think... or how much it matters.  Rick
breaking me in wasn't, nice, but he's just a guy.  It's not his fault that
he's the sort of hairy, overweight, blue collar guy that hot women run away
from.  In a perfect world I would never be in a situation where letting him
fuck me was the best choice I had left.  Finding out that queer sex is
better than no sex was... awkward."

	There was room near the bed for a table and a couple of chairs.  He
already had one.  I stopped short of taking the other.

	"It's not your fault that you're a pervert who likes to fuck boys.
Don thinks you would have continued being his mentor anyway, at least for a
while, that you weren't just pretending to like him so you could get his
pants off.  It wouldn't matter.  He isn't doing it to get you to like him.
He does it because he likes you."

	I made eye contact and started popping the buttons on my shirt.

	"To Don your Mr. Perkins.  I'd rather call you Sam if that's all
right.  The first few times you had him he was scared to death everybody
would find out, kind of like me with Rick.  Only, we're just fuck buddies.
Don is your boy, or was right at first.  His awkward moment was finding out
that he liked it, being there for you.  The thought of anyone finding out
scares him half to death while leaving him so horny he can hardly get his
fly zipped."

	I'd unzipped my own and was playing with my belt buckle.

	"He doesn't actually want to be your cunt, homo sex is really
difficult for him.  Letting you turn him out for Brian would have been
impossible if he had time to think about it."

	My shirt fell open as I pushed my pants and underwear down and
stepped out of them.

	"If you told, he would have felt like you couldn't be trusted,
after he already did all this super embarrassing stuff with you.  Having
Don tell on himself gave him the choice of going public or losing his
private time with you.  Now it's his turn to take it up a level."

	"Let me guess, it has something to do with you taking your clothes
off."

	"Not directly, I started thinking about you sitting here alone
while he's with Rick.  If he keeps the blindfold on and Rick is careful
with the video, after today he'll never be able to look a stranger in the
eye and know for certain the guy hasn't already fucked him.  He plans to
give you a copy of the video with the understanding that it will get shown
to anyone you think should see it.  I told Don it would probably be hotter
for you to have him show it to people you choose."

	"Like outing him to certain people?"

	"Uh huh, only hard core.  He can tell somebody he's queer and still
walk it back.  After they see video of him wearing only a blindfold,
pleasuring a man he wouldn't know if he passed him on the street later,
nothing he can say will convince them he's straight."

	"You're right, that is hard core.  What's your thing?"

	"I'm still finding out.  To be honest it scares me a little.  So
far I've only been with a couple of old guys.  If the whole world found
out, it wouldn't be fun, but I think I could deal with it."

	By now I was stroking, too light to make any real progress towards
getting a load off but heading in that direction.

	"Don tells me you're not really queer, at least not for guys your
own age.  You don't want a boyfriend, just a boy.  Maybe that's even true.
I'm pretty sure I have your full attention right now.  Do you like this?
Watching me?  Listening to me talk about it?"

	"Uh, yeah.  I'm starting to get an idea where this is going but
there's no hurry."

	"Uh huh, it's not exactly a limited time offer.  Rick got a little
weird about it when I told him there was no way he could rape me, I would
at least try to do anything he wants.  Mom's latest boyfriend is a
different sort of weird.  He walked in on me jacking off and seems to have
the idea that because he fucks her he can get away with doing anything he
wants to me."

	"Can he?"

	"Get away with it?  Maybe.  Probably.  I'm not going to get the
snot pounded out of me just to prove I said no.  Unless I tell he isn't
going to do it just once.  Mom usually dumps the total losers pretty fast.
It's better than even money he'll be gone by the time I go back to school."

	"So you'd rather be with this Rick guy than take your chances
around that creep?"

	"It's not that kind of choice.  I would be ok with Rick fucking me
even if mom wasn't dating a creep.  I've never been with a guy who wants it
*because* I'm a boy.  What if I find out I like it, being with a perv who
thinks boys are hot?"

	"Let's find out."

	Sam pushed his own slacks and underwear down around his ankles.

	"Straddle my lap facing me with your hands on my shoulders.  Ok,
now flop that boy boner down on my own.  Try to anyway, you're stiff enough
right now if you popped your load it would fly over my shoulder unless your
aim was good."

	He captured both our cocks with one hand, not really gripping, more
like guiding them, keeping the undersides together.

	"You're part of the reason my boy is busy.  You don't have to do
anything.  You can get dressed and leave whenever you want.  It would be
nice of you to take Don's place here while Rick is putting him through his
paces.  I've had him every way imaginable and enjoyed most of it.  You
probably don't have time to listen to everything we've done.  One thing
that's really hot but not too demanding is having him stroke me `til I
cum."

	"Like a hand job?"

	"Not even close, more like a heavy make out session, but he can
only touch my cock with his own."

	"Like we're doing now?  What if I cum first?"

	"You probably will.  Don usually does.  You're both young enough it
doesn't take much to get you hard again.  Sometimes Don doesn't even go
soft on the first squirt."

	A few minutes of hesitant thrusting had my hips trying to take off
on autopilot, while Sam was barely staying hard.

	"You'll have to do better than that or I'll be waiting for Don to
finish me off, after Rick has already had him every which way.  Even a kid
your age can only get it up so many times.  Rick does more than just stuff
your holes, doesn't he?  Try giving some of what you've been getting.  How
about a deep wet kiss?  Better yet, start giving my nipples the sort of lip
love you'd be giving my cock if I let you."

*****

	By the time I got back to the truck I would have bet everything I
owned that nothing could get me hard again.  Until I saw the smile on Ricks
face.  You might be able to find something like it on the internet.  Search
for `indecently satisfied'.

	"So kid, was it good for you too?"

	"Oh God!  I don't even know where to start.  He didn't have time to
teach me everything Don knows, any more than Don had time to turn you on to
everything they do together.  If we're lucky we each learned something new
we can do for the other."

	"That good, huh?"

	"I had no idea...  It's almost like getting my cherry busted all
over again.  Better really, the first time wasn't even much like real sex,
just letting you perv on me.  Doing it *with* you is better.  Man fucking
is creepy and perverted but at least it's some kind of sex.  Doing it with
Arty should have been taking it up a level.  Instead it was more like the
top step that isn't there.  After doing that it's kind of silly to keep
pretending that I don't want it.  I'm perving, just as much as whatever guy
is on me."

	"And now?"

	"It's still wrong, perverted and creepy.  The thought of everybody
finding out what I did with Sam makes me a little sick.  Ok, technically I
guess it's what they call homosexual intercourse.  Even with you it won't
be what queers do when they're making love, not exactly.  We don't have
that kind of relationship.  Don isn't quite there either.  He loves the
attention he gets from Sam so much that he's willing to do whatever it
takes to get it.  Like... it's closer to being addicted than in love.  I'm
not an attention whore and I'm not swapping a ride for a ride, not since
the first run.  It's more than knowing I'm going to do it anyway and trying
to make it easy.  It's wanting to make it fun for the guy I'm with.  If
that means I'm some kind of slut I guess I have to get used to it.  I don't
see any way to change."

	"I don't see any way to change it either and wouldn't tell you if I
did.  This is shaping up to be one hell of a summer."

The End (for now)