The Accident that Changed Everything
Finished September 2012
****Warning, this story involves man boy love and diaper love and usage, if any of this offends you, then please feel free to leave now. If however you continue to read on, and if still offends you, don't flame me for it. I write for myself and share with those that enjoy what I write. If however you read it and enjoy it, I would love to hear your feedback, as always it is appreciated. You may reach me at erich5748 @ ymail.com should you wish to do so. Whether this is illegal for you to read matters not to me, that is your choice and yours alone as to whether you wish to do so. Whether you are ten years old or in a country where reading such things is punishable, it must be your choice, it is not my duty to tell you not to. Anyway, I hope that you do enjoy this story, I enjoyed writing it.****
Twenty five year old Todd Franklin was about as depressed as any man could be. He was a very promising young architect with the highest possible degrees in both design and engineering, brilliant beyond compare, went to university at the ripe old age of fourteen and spent only the next six years there. Twelve years of schooling condensed into only six years, and he passed with the schools highest honors, as well as marks ever achieved. Right out of school, the countries leading architecture firm came to him with a lucrative offer that he could not refuse, so moved to the new city and started working right away for them. For the next few years he worked for them and had designed many stunning works of art in building form, everyone wanted him to be the one to design their house or office, he had it all, and then it all had to go to hell.
A few months earlier he lost his best friend in the world to a very horrible workplace accident, he was crushed. Todd felt that he was crushed the same day he got the news as well. He had wanted to go to the funeral, but due to unforeseen circumstances, he had been unable to go and pay his final respects for the man that had helped him out the most as they grew up. It was a nearly crippling blow to lose the one person he had loved above all else his entire life. But, so it seems, nothing ever just seems to go the way we want it to, and when it goes wrong, it really goes wrong.
It was early afternoon a few months after his best friend had died, he was just finally starting to get over that, he was in the boardroom presenting to his clients his newest creation, it was a masterpiece to be sure, but half way through, he felt an odd sensation. It felt a lot like his pants were getting wet, so standing there right in front of twelve men in business suits, he looked down, and sure enough, he wet his pants. He was so absolutely embarrassed that he walked from the boardroom and went straight to his office, closed and locked the door and cried. Almost half an hour later, his boss came knocking and asked to be let in. Todd did not want to at first, but eventually he let his boss in.
He of course asked what had happened, and Todd simply said he wished he knew, he was just standing there, and then his pants were wet, he did not even feel the need to pee, nor did he feel himself peeing at all. His boss told him that maybe he should go to the hospital, in case something was seriously wrong, he told Todd that the clients were okay and that they had approved everything without hesitation, and then took the plans right away to have their builder start as soon as possible.
Todd decided his boss was right, so wrapped his jacket around his waist as best he could to help hide his shame, and walked out of the building, not looking at anyone. He went straight to the hospital and explained what had happened, and even though it was slightly busy, he was let in right away, because like the nurse at the triage said, a grown man wetting his pants without reason or feeling was just not normal, so therefore may be very bad. Once inside, he was poked, prodded, pricked and squeezed, made to pee in a cup, but he could not give more than just a tiny bit, and then sent right to the imaging department, where they were going to do three different scans on him.
He ended up spending the night there under observation, but three times while there, he unexpectedly wet himself, to the point the nurses inserted a catheter to help prevent any more accidents. The end result, by the time the doctors had finished doing all their tests, was that they simply had no idea what was wrong, or why it appeared as if his bladder had just failed. It actually got to the point that he was just starting to drip continuously, hence the reason they put the catheter in. It got to the point that they determined that his bladder muscles just stopped working.
He was offered the help of a surgeon specializing in bladder failure, and a week later they met. Todd had not been back to work, he was still so embarrassed about everyone knowing he had wet his pants in front of a dozen influential business people, that he just took some time off work. He had never taken vacation or any sick leave, so they all felt he deserved it. By the time the surgeon saw him, he had already taken a look at all the information that the hospital had gathered, and explained to Todd that the prognosis was not great, but that they had a fifty fifty chance of getting him bladder control and asked if Todd wanted to go through with it. He said yes instantly.
Three days later he went under the knife, they opened him up, checked everything out and tried to do all that they could, but that failed. The doctor knew by the time that he closed Todd up that he had been unable to do anything at all for Todd, his bladder had just stopped completely, and even he, the very best bladder guy on Earth could do nothing for Todd at all. When Todd woke up and was lucid enough to understand what was happening, the doctor explained this to him. Todd left the hospital a few days later with instructions on how to properly use a catheter and more importantly, how to keep himself clean and free of nasty bladder infections, a somewhat problematic side effect of having no bladder control.
He went home and called his boss and explained everything to him, saying that he would be back, eventually, but at this time, he needed some time to himself. His boss was understanding and told Todd to take all the time he needed and that he would be happy when Todd came back, as would all the rest of the office.
On the other side of the country, in the same city where Todd had grown up, ten year old Kyle Mullins was also depressed. His dad had died only a few months ago, leaving him and his mom all alone. His parents had been young, real young when he was born. His dad had been almost fifteen the day he was born, his mom not much older. He had been an accident, he knew that, but like his parents had told him all his life, he may have been a surprise caused by two foolish kids, but he was loved with all their heart. He knew it too, he was always told that he was loved, they hugged and kissed him, and they gave him everything they could to make him happy.
Now his dad was gone though. He still had his mom, he knew that, but to him, his dad was someone special. They went and did everything together, they were the best of friends as well as father and son. Kyle's dad also always changed him for bed, every night, and got him out of his wet night diaper every morning, because Kyle was a bed wetter, and every night he had been diapered lovingly by his father. That was probably the thing that Kyle missed the most, that loving time when Kyle would trust no one else with that duty, not even his mom had changed his diaper since he was two.
After his dad died, Kyle had had to learn how to diaper himself, even though his mom had offered to come help him. He just politely said, 'no thanks, no one but Daddy can do that for me.' He cried, every night he cried, every morning he cried, he cried himself to sleep, and he cried on his moms shoulder. It had been such a brutal freak accident that had taken his dad far too young. The life insurance and work insurance helped he and his mom financially, but to Kyle, it meant nothing at all. Without his daddy there to love him, Kyle felt he was an empty shell.
Todd too had been depressed to hear the news that his very best friend in the world had been killed, for they had grown up next door to each other and had been best friends from the time they were two years old. Todd was even Kyle's godfather, though they had met only a few times, so hardly knew each other. By pictures was about the only way they knew each other at all really. Todd had tried to come to the funeral, but had been unable to make it, because of heavy winter storms making air travel highly unsafe, so he had had to miss it.
Kyle's mom knew that he was very depressed, she was too mind you, but she was managing her grief, whereas Kyle was not even trying to, he refused to go see anyone, he was not even going to school any more. He went from a straight 'A' Student to nearly failing since his dad had died, his mom knew this was not good, but there was nothing she could do to get him back on track.
She also had been kept up to date on Todd and how he was doing, and knew that he too was very depressed. So far he had still not been out to see his best friend and to say goodbye, and when she asked him to, to get away for a bit and stop thinking of everything, he just came up with an excuse and did not come. So, instead she decided to pack Kyle up and take him to see Todd. Kyle did not want to go at first, well at all, but she had not given him any choice in the matter at all. She also never called Todd to tell him, knowing that he would likely just come up with another excuse. So, as soon as they got into town, she rented a car and they drove to the address that she knew was Todd's.
Todd had just sat down to eat some dinner, because he had not eaten all day long and was starting to feel more than a little hungry. He had been doing that a lot lately, not eating anything all day at all some days, in fact, it had gotten to the point that he had already lost almost twenty pounds, and considering he had not been a big guy already, this was a very bad thing. Just as he was about to take his first bite, which he really did not want anyway, his doorbell rang. Sighing to himself, he got up to go see who it was.
Todd was normally very private and had very few friends that would come over, but lately even they had all stopped trying, though they did send a therapist to him, because they thought he needed some help. Maybe he did, maybe they were right, but he turned him away none the less. He was hoping to just go to the door and call through and tell whomever it was that he was not feeling well and that he was not wanting any visitors, but when he called through, he found that this person was not going to go away.
“Todd, open up, it's Trish. Kyle and I came for a visit.” She called back.
Todd opened the door right away and saw the wife of his best friend. They had known each other a little while growing up, but given Todd went away to university so early, they had not had a chance to get to know each other all that well. Then he looked to Kyle, and saw his best friend standing there in the boy in front of him.
“What are you doing here?” He asked softly.
“We came to visit. I had to get out of town, Kyle definitely needed to get out of town, and you need some visitors. Our flight leaves in a week, so you have to put up with us for at least that long.”
“Oh, well come in then I guess. The house isn't clean, I hope you don't mind.”
“Nah, I don't care about that. I see you've lost weight, but you didn't have it to lose. Kyle's been losing weight too, and he's already too small as it is. I've nearly had to force feed him since his dad died, looks like someone should be doing the same for you.”
“Yeah, haven't felt much like eating. My god, even in the pictures you send me of Kyle, he doesn't look as much like his dad as he does in person. I'd swear we were kids again and we were standing side by side.” Todd smiled sadly, Kyle's eyes started watering again, but so did Todd's.
“Yeah, I know. He's looking more and more like his father every day, it's scary sometimes really. Do you have a spare bedroom where I can get Kyle settled in though? It was a long flight and he didn't get any sleep, and we're not used to your time zone yet, so it's quite late for him.”
“Yes, of course, follow me.” He said, leading them upstairs to a spare bedroom that had a nice sized bed in it.
Trish asked Kyle if he needed anything before bed, he whispered no, and turned and closed the door on his mom and Todd. Trish just shook her head sadly, and walked downstairs with Todd.
“He's still not taking it well is he?” Todd said as soon as they sat down in the living room, his food completely forgotten about.
“No, he won't talk to me or his shrink at all. He just sits there and stares at a wall blankly, the doctor doubts he even hears what he's saying at all he's so spaced out.”
“Yeah, it hurt me too that Kevin died, and in such a horrible way. I suppose the only good thing was that he had to have died instantly and can't possibly have felt any pain. You know, everyone knows working in a mine of any sort is dangerous work, but honestly, having a twenty tonne tractor fall on you from twenty feet above when the rocks give way, that's just bad luck no matter what.”
“Yeah, it's not much, but at least he didn't have to suffer. The poor bastard that had to see two people killed though, he said that was the worst time of his life. He said he just saw the tractor up top, working away like normal, and then the edge gave way and it fell. He said Kevin didn't even have time to run for it. By the time he was able to look up to see what the noise was, it was too late. At least the guy driving the tractor died too, or I bet he'd feel pretty bad. I suppose Kevin shouldn't have been working directly under him like that, but they all did it all the time, it's normally perfectly safe, and the guy in the tractor probably shouldn't have been so close to the edge, but again, they always did it. The poor manager of the safety operations was beside himself, losing two guys at once like that in a way he never thought could happen, but it did. He apologized to me and the other guys wife at least a hundred times though.”
“You know I loved him with all my heart right, he was my best friend in the world, and if he had've been gay as well, well things would've been different for sure.”
“Yeah, I know. He loved you too though, he always said how much he missed you not being there. He missed getting to sit around and talking to you the most, even though you guys talked at least every second day. He said it just never was the same.”
“Yeah, I missed that too. It hurt to leave him, to move across the country and come live here, but I had to do it. In a way, I was actually hoping that I could finally find someone here, but you know what, I still haven't. Living there, being beside him all the time, I just kept hoping and praying that he'd forget about you and see that he really did need me. I knew it was never gonna happen, and then when you two went and got pregnant, I knew it never would either. He loved you every bit as much as I loved him, I knew that I could never compete with that. Being in university was hard enough, because I almost never had time to spend with him, even though we were only a couple hours away from each other, but then I got the offer. I almost said no you know, but then I realized that I had to do it. Not only was it a great offer, and I would've been insane to turn it down, but I knew I had to try and break our bond a little, maybe go out and finally have a date, get the guy I deserved, since he had the girl he deserved. The funny thing though is that without him, I'm nothing. Sure, I'm some huge architect and everyone wants me to design their building for them, but no one's good enough to replace Kevin. You know, I'm still a virgin even.”
“You know, that doesn't even surprise me. He never would've left me though, we loved each other, and he told me that he wasn't anywhere near gay. He knew how you felt though, and in a way he knew why you had to move, he knew you had to break off a bit so that you could find your own true love. He and I laughed about you often actually, he'd say that you were so gay and so good looking that you could have any guy you wanted, except the one you really wanted. He was actually sorry that he couldn't be that guy for you, you know. He loved you like a brother and a best friend, more than that even, but he said he just never could be what you wanted him to be. He never told me, how did you tell him you were gay anyway?”
“I know, he loved you, almost as much as I love him, and as soon as Kyle came along, I knew I didn't stand a chance. As for how did he find out I was gay, well I told him. I first told him when we were ten that I loved him, he said he loved me too, but said that he's not gay. He always knew I was gay, I don't know how, because really, until then, not even I really understood it all. He just said he knew I was different. He asked me if I thought I was gay, and I cried and said I think I might be. By the time we were twelve though, I knew, and I told him so. He always told me though that he wasn't, that he wanted a girl. By the way, not long after that, you moved in and he fell for you. The night he told me that he had asked you out and that you said yes, three weeks later, I cried and said he didn't like me anymore and that he was never gonna talk to me again. Instead, he made sure that he spent as much time with me as he could, as well as spending as much time with you as he could. I was already doing extra work at school, trying my damnedest to finish high school, so he still had lots of time with you.”
“How is it you two were such good friends though. I mean he said that you were just best friends from birth nearly, but you were so insanely different. You're absolutely brilliant, smartest kid the school had ever seen or heard of, breezed through high school and university in slightly more time than most trudge through high school. Kevin though barely made his way out of high school alive. He was smart in his own way for sure, but nothing like you. Then there's the fact that you're gay and he wasn't. You guys didn't even like the same things. He was sports and partying, you were studying and reading. He wasn't even sure you knew how to throw or catch, and you never could ride a bike, you were nothing alike.”
“I guess opposites really do attract. We did have things that we liked to do together, but we could just sit and talk for hours, and then when the talking stopped, we could sit there and be quiet for hours and never feel uncomfortable. Trust me, at the age of ten, I knew that telling a boy that I loved him was dangerous, I was smart enough to know that, but I knew he'd never tell. We knew each others biggest baddest secrets, we trusted each other wholly. For instance, did you know that he was a constant bed wetter and had to wear diapers to bed every night of his life until he was twelve. He still had occasional accidents 'til he was fourteen even, but they got more and more rare. I never wet the bed at all. I potty trained at the ripe old age of two, day and night, and never wore another diaper after that. Well, except the one night that Kevin talked me into wearing one with him all night, we were eleven, but I never wet it. He also admitted to me that he thought he was a diaper lover, because he liked wearing them. I don't know if it ever progressed or not, but it wouldn't surprise me.”
“I guess you're right, in so many ways we were opposites as well, but we liked a lot of the same things too. I knew about his bed wetting, I knew that he had to wear diapers 'til he was twelve, and he said that he even had a few wet beds 'til he was fourteen, but I didn't know about the diaper love. Maybe he just stopped liking them eventually, hard to say. I know that he wanted to be the one to help Kyle because he knew it was a special time for them, something that bonded them, because they were the same. Kyle knows that his dad wet the bed 'til he was twelve and that he had to wear diapers as well, and that's why Kyle only let his dad diaper him. Now that he's gone though, Kyle still won't let me, he just does it himself. I want to ask you a favor though, you're gay, and you know all the signs to look for, but I've been suspecting lately that Kyle may be gay as well. While we're here, could you talk to him and make sure that he's not depressed because of that too. I don't know how much he knows about sex and all, I know his dad talked to him some, but he never did tell me all about it, so I have no idea what all Kyle knows already or what he suspects about himself. I'm really hoping that spending time with you'll really get him to open back up again, because you were and are his dads very best friend in the world, you knew more about him than anyone else.”
“Of course I'll watch and talk to him and see what all he knows and or suspects. If however he tells me that it's a secret and that I'm not to tell anyone, whatever he says I won't even tell you. If he's to trust me at all, I have to keep his secrets.”
“Of course, just knowing that he's talking will be enough, but a simple thumbs up for yes he's gay would be appreciated. That way both of us can say you never told me, only that I guessed it on my own.”
“That I might be able to do. So how are you keeping after the accident then?”
“I'm getting better. It was really hard to lose him, I loved him a great deal. But I still have Kyle, and he looks so much like his father it's uncanny, so it's like I have a younger version of him running around. Some days are easier than others, some days I just cry and cry still, Kyle usually starts those days though. It's hit him far hardest for sure. He'll just come and sit on my lap and cry for hours, and I'll cry with him. I try and tell him that life has to go on and that we'll survive without him, but as of yet, he won't hear it. He hasn't even hit the anger portion of his grieving process yet, just uncontrollable sadness. I at least got the anger out of me the second or third day, I called him a stupid fucking bastard for standing in a clearly dangerous area, that had he used his stupid dumb ass fucking head, he'd still be alive. I felt bad for a good couple weeks after that for saying it, but in a way, it really is true, he shouldn't have been there, but then neither should the other guy have been where he was, but that's the way they did it, they'd all done it hundreds of times and was normally perfectly safe. My therapist has helped me a great deal though, it's Kyle I worry about. What about you though, how are you coping?”
“Well, I'm glad that at least one of us is doing fairly well. It really hurt to have the one person I loved above all others killed like that, and now on top of all that grief that I was just starting to get over, my bladder goes and fails. Yeah, the past six months has been miserable to say the least. Losing Kevin was like losing a very large piece of me, I never imagined a life without him. We may have lived the entire country apart from each other, but we still talked and or emailed almost every single day. Those few times where I was able to sneak out for a weekend and come visit, it felt so nice to hug him again, now I'll never feel that again. I shouldn't have moved here, I should've stayed there so that we could've had more time together, but it would've tortured me more. I would've gladly taken that though to have spent more time with him.”
“No, you did what was right for you, and for him too in a way. He loved you a great deal, in some ways more than he loved me, but he loved me a great deal, just in a different way. No, when you left, it hurt him, he didn't want you to go either, but he knew you had to go, and he admitted to me that in a way it was good too, because with you not there all the time, it allowed him to spend more time with me and Kyle. He always felt bad for me whenever he spent so much time with you, but then when he was spending time with me, he was thinking of you. He was very torn, on one side he had his best friend, the one who had been with him his entire life and would never betray him, but on his other side he had his girlfriend that he loved a great deal and had his child. He was torn, trust me.”
“I can see how he might have felt bad for that. I guess everything did work out the way it was supposed to, though I have a hard time thinking that he was supposed to die.”
“Well, we're all supposed to die, no one gets off this joyride alive after all, but it sure would've been nice had he lived longer.”
“Too true. Depressing as that is, I suppose you're right. How about Kyle though, he was doing so well in school, now you said he's hardly gone at all since the accident, he had impeccable grades, now he's gonna fail this year.”
“Yeah, and even though the school understands the reasons, it doesn't change the fact that he hasn't been there, so can't possibly pass. I feel so bad for him, he has so much potential, far more than his dad or I ever had, close to what you did. If he had've passed this year with as well as he was going to, the school was going to skip him ahead next year again, his second time. I guess at least next year he'll be in closer to his peers again, something he says he's missed because of being skipped ahead.”
“Know how he feels. You have any idea how scary it was to be in university so young. I was regarded as a freak by most of them there because I was so smart, so I just buried my head in my studies and ignored them all.”
“Not even sure how you survived that, I couldn't have.” She chuckled.
“It wasn't too bad, I guess I was too smart to let them hurt me. Kevin always teased me that I was smarter than his computer was, usually while I was helping him with his homework. Then again, he was far better with people, and he taught me a lot, otherwise I never would've made it through university.”
“Yeah, he could walk into a crowded room full of dozens of people he'd never met before and talk to every last one of them like they were long lost friends. He wasn't the least bit shy, he'd talk to anyone. Even I can't do that, and I'm good with people as well.”
“Yeah, he always amazed me how well he was in a crowd, or how he could stand up in front of a crowd and speak like he could. It never fazed him at all. I always nearly threw up whenever I had to stand in front of the class. But he taught me how to do it so that it became far easier. Which by the way I'm glad of, because in my job, I often have to stand up in front of a dozen or more people and make presentations. Though it may be more difficult now, since I wet my pants in front of a dozen influential men.”
“Yeah, he was amazing, wasn't he. I know you told me how embarrassing that was for you, but really, it wasn't your fault, you have to just get over it. You probably should go back to work soon and just forget about it. By the way, how is the catheter? You told me that it was irritating beyond belief and that you had to constantly empty your leg bag.”
“Still irritating beyond belief, and in the past three weeks, I've had two minor bladder infections, even though I've been doing all that the doctor says I should be doing. Boy were they ever uncomfortable, not sure what'll happen if I get a worse one, or worse yet, if it hits my urinary tract or kidneys, they're even worse apparently. I don't know how people do this for so long, my doctor says that he's had people on catheters for years, I'm not sure how I'll survive it.”
“Well, you'll just have to learn to live with it, there's no other option, so you'll get used to it.” Trish shrugged.
“Yeah, I know, but it's already been weeks and it's not getting any better. He says that most people get used to it after a couple weeks at most, though most only take a week.”
“Yeah, well you're just stubborn then. I hate to say it though, but I'd better be getting to bed myself, it's been a very long day.”
“Okay, I probably should as well then. Come on upstairs and I'll show you to the next guest room.” Todd smiled warmly and led her upstairs after locking up and shutting everything down.
Once Trish was settled, Todd went and got himself ready for bed as well, which included flushing his bladder and changing his urine bag to his night time one. He fell asleep shortly thereafter, and they all slept through the night, though none of them were peaceful.
The following morning they all met in the kitchen and talked over breakfast, and then they went and sat back in the living room and talked almost all day as they were watching TV. They talked mostly about Kevin and everything, but Kyle hardly spoke, just cried on and off all day. Todd tried to hug him, but so far Kyle was having none of that. The day was slow, but it passed, and finally they headed up to bed once again and slept through the night.
The next morning, Trish told the two guys that she wanted to go out and check out the city, and asked Todd to watch over Kyle, that maybe they could talk and get to know each other better. Kyle did not seem pleased with this turn of events, but Trish just turned and walked out and headed out, saying she would be back in a few hours.
“So Kyle, you know your dad and I were best friends, and you know I loved him a great deal. I want you to know that I miss him almost every bit as much as you do, and that I wish he could be back so that I could hug him and talk to him for hours. You have no idea what he was to me, losing him has torn me up inside, probably every bit as much as it has for you.” Todd started out, very nearly whispering.
For the longest time, Kyle did not say anything at all, he just sat there and cried. After a good ten minutes, Todd got up from the chair he was sitting on and joined Kyle on the couch, sitting as close to him as he could, and then grabbed Kyle and pulled him to him and hugged him. Kyle stiffened up a little, then slowly let go, and when he did, his dam broke once again and he cried.
“I miss my daddy so much, I want him back with me so much, I'd do anything to be with him again, I love him and I miss our special times together.” He said through his sobs.
“I know Baby, I know. We all miss him, you know that right?”
“And you still have your mom you know. You can't stop living, just because your daddy died.”
“I know, and she tries, but it's just not the same.”
“I know, you had a special bond with your dad. You spent a lot of time together, he made sure that you were happy and healthy, warm and comfortable, and most importantly loved. I know he changed you into your diaper every night and took it off of you and cleaned you up every morning, that's something big, something you couldn't possibly share with anyone else. I know that you miss that single most special time of the day the most, but he's gone now, and there's nothing that you or I or anyone can do about it.”
“He.....he.....he told you that, he swore he'd never tell anyone I was a baby?”
“You're not a baby,
and yes, he told me that, we had no secrets from each other, and
that's not a huge deal. I'm sure you knew he was a bed wetter
himself, and that he had to wear diapers as well. Well, his parents
didn't change him, ever, it was; here's your diapers, go get ready
for bed. Well, every night we spent together, which were a lot, I
diapered him, he trusted no one but me with his deepest darkest
secrets, and I him. He was the only one I told I was gay 'til I was
considerably older, he knew it all, we knew it all, trust me, we had
“But he swore he'd never tell.”
“That's right, he never did tell anyone else, ever, but me he did. That was when you were three though, after that I was always the one to ask him how your bed wetting was coming along, if you were still wetting every night and as heavily. Don't be mad at your dad for telling me that secret, because he knew I'd never tell, and besides, I'm your godfather, I had to know as well.”
“But he swore he'd never tell.”
“Yes, but have you ever had a friend that you held nothing back, knows your every secret and you know would never betray you?” Todd asked softly.
“Then you can't begin to understand the depth of our relationship. There's nothing that we didn't know about each other, there's nothing we wouldn't tell each other. When I was ten I even told him I was afraid I was gay, he just said okay, so what, and we went on like nothing changed. By the time I was twelve, I knew I was and he just teased me, but he never would've told anyone. He'd sometimes point out a cute boy and say ooh, he's cute, maybe you should ask him out, things like that. He always told me that he wasn't gay though and that we could never be boyfriends, just best friends, and I was okay with that, sorta.”
“So, you're really gay then? I know my parents told me that you didn't like girls, only boys, that you were gay, but well, really.”
“Yes, I am. What all do you know about gay, or anything sexual for that matter?”
“Daddy taught me everything that I needed to know about my body and what was coming up, as for gay, it's when two boys or two girls like to have sex together.” He said, only a hint of a blush.
“That's good. Your dad always was very open and able to talk to people about all sorts of things. So he taught you all about masturbation, sexual intercourse, foreplay, preparation, all that?”
“Yeah, he did, he said I'd soon need to know it all, but even he said at the age of nine, I probably didn't need to know everything he told me. He said it didn't really matter though, as long as I remembered everything. Something's been bothering me though about the talk he gave me, he only told me things about how boys have sex together, nothing about a boy and a girl.” He said with a look of confusion.
“Did you ever stop to think that maybe your dad thought you might be gay?” Todd asked softly.
“No, why would he?”
“Because, to tell you quite honestly, even your mom and I suspect you might be gay. I don't want you to take that the wrong way, I don't want you to rush out and put yourself into any sort of mold, we're not now, nor will we ever say that you are gay, or straight for that matter, only you can say that. I do have to ask though, have you thought about it, what are your thoughts that we all think you might be gay?”
“I don't know. I know it's so wrong according to so many of the kids at school, they say gay as if it's a horrible disease. I think I might be, but I just don't know.”
“Congratulations. That takes a huge amount of courage. Like I said, I was your age now when I started to think I was too, and look how I turned out. Like I also said though, don't go and call yourself gay just because we might think you are. So, what makes you feel like you might be gay?”
“I don't know. Everything I guess. I don't think of kissing the girls like the other boys say they do, but I sure do think of kissing them. Also, whenever I went swimming, I was always trying to see the other boys naked, but I've never even thought of trying to see a girl naked. Sometimes I'll see a cute boy and think I'd like to get to know him, but I never feel that when I see a pretty girl.”
“And you only think you might be gay?” Todd chuckled.
“Well, I don't know.” Kyle blushed.
“Hey, no worries. I went through all the same shit remember, I know better than most how you feel right now. Thankfully I had a great friend to lean on and share my feelings. You don't have one of them, so I'll be there for you. It does sound though as if you've pretty much made up your mind about being gay, so if you have, then you should say it, if not, then say you're still undecided.”
“What if I said I was gay, but then later thought that I'd like to be with a girl?”
“Then okay, you should never restrict yourself just because of what you think now. One year, two years, ten years from now, it doesn't really matter what you decide now. Only, if you are gay, I don't want you holding it in and letting it eat you up inside, because that only causes grief and pain in the long run. I don't know if you know this or not, but nearly half of all suicides where the cause is known as to the reason, being gay was the reason they couldn't live with themselves. A better than even chance says that they did so because they felt alone or singled out, and even better chance says they were afraid of what their parents would think. You don't have to worry about that, because not only is your mom very open and understanding about it, but you have me to talk to.”
“Fair enough. Okay, I think I am gay. I knew my parents would never leave me because I was gay, I've known all my life that you were and my dad loved you, more than a brother he said was what you were to him.”
“Yeah, the feeling was mutual. How do you feel saying it though, that you think you're gay?”
“Not sure what you mean?”
“Do you feel relief that you let out your huge secret, do you fear that I'd tell someone, do you feel anything about it?”
“Oh. I'm not afraid you'd tell someone, who would you tell, my mom? Sounds like she pretty much already knows anyway, so what difference would that make. As for anyone else, go ahead and tell anyone around here you want, it won't affect me, I live across the country from you. I doubt you'd tell anyone anyway, because you're gay too. As for relief, no, not really, because I'd already told myself several times that I was pretty sure I was gay, and telling another gay guy that just doesn't seem all that strange or bad. Now, if someone at school were to find out, it might be a different story though.”
“That's good, I'm glad to hear it. Even at school nowadays isn't so bad though, us gays are almost totally accepted, although there are a few stupid idiots, but you can't have it all. Granted, at your age, I don't think I'd go telling most people that you're gay, but you never know, if you want a cute little baby boyfriend, you could have your pick. You're very good looking.”
“Thanks, I guess, but I'm not really a baby you know, even if I do have to wear diapers to bed.”
“Is it only to bed though, or are you like your dad and snuck them at other times?” Todd asked softly.
“You know about that?”
“So you did as well! Yes, I'd tease your dad sometimes that he was such a baby, but then, he always asked me to diaper him. I always did too when he was feeling a little down or like he needed to really relax. He found diapers to be much like a security blanket. I never asked him though if he continued that, but he did, didn't he, and you joined him too, didn't you?”
“Yeah, he told me that he knew I was a diaper lover, and told me that he was as well. One weekend when mom had to go away for the entire weekend, we stayed just in diapers the whole time, it was nice. That was only two weeks before he died, but we'd worn together a few times before that as well. God, I miss him so much. There was nothing I wouldn't talk to him about.” He said, starting to cry again.
“You know you can talk to me about absolutely anything as well, and that if you asked me to diaper you, I'd do it too. I know I can't replace your father, ever, but maybe while you're here, I can be your godfather, who and what I really am, and I can be like a father to you. Anything you would've talked to your dad about, asked your dad, done with your dad, you can ask me, and I assure you that I'll never think less of you.” Todd said, hugging Kyle just a little tighter.
“Thanks. I'll think about it. I don't know if I'm ready to let someone else diaper me yet though, that was something I let only my daddy do for me.” He said between tears.
“Thanks. It'd be a great honor to get to diaper you, just like I did for your dad. Now, I want to ask you something else.”
“Why haven't you been going to school?”
“Because it's summer break.” Kyle answered.
“Yeah, I suppose it did just start, but I meant before. Your mom says you've hardly gone at all in the past several months, and that at this rate you're going to fall far behind, even with skipping a grade already.”
“I know, I just can't seem to care about it any more. I used to, I used to love going there and making my daddy proud. He always told me that I had to go out there and do better than he did, he hated school, he hated learning, and he told me that he'd suffered ever since and he didn't want me to be like that. Every time I did well on something, he made me feel so good about it. Even when I failed or got a poor grade on something, he just said oh well, there's always next time and you'll learn from your mistakes, and he made me feel good about failing as well, just as long as I learned something, he was always happy. Without him here with me, it just doesn't seem the same, he made me want to do good, I just can't without him any more.” He cried once more.
“And what exactly do you think your dad would say to you right now if he had the chance?” Todd asked softly.
“He'd probably tell me something inspiring, something that'd make me want to go out and do my best, no matter what.”
“That's right, because that's just what your dad did. He was an amazing speaker, if he'd only listened to me, he never would've worked at a mine, he could've gone on the road and done lectures and speeches and made a hell of a living, but he wouldn't leave you, not for anything. In his absence though, I'm going to say what he would've said, only he would've done it a hundred times better than I.”
“Well, here goes. Just because your dad's gone, doesn't mean that everything you and he worked hard to get is gone. You're still alive, and he'd want you to stay that way too. You've died inside because he died, now you have to start living again, learn to live again, go back to school and try your hardest to make him proud of you. If you believe he's still there with you all the time, in your heart at all times, then he is, and I believe he is with us at all times. There's times I still feel him, telling me to quit being a whiny baby, at which time I'd usually start laughing, because he did tell me that a lot, then I'd say back, yeah right, who wears the diapers in this relationship. No, just because he's gone, doesn't mean you can and should stop caring, doesn't mean he's not there along side you trying to help make you better.”
“You're right, dad would've said it a lot better.” Kyle giggled.
“Doesn't mean it isn't true, though is it. No, you've fallen into an abyss of misery, he wouldn't want that.”
“Yeah, but so have you. My mom said that ever since your bladder failed you that you haven't gone back to work, that you've stayed at home as much as possible and hardly talk to anyone. How can you tell me that what I'm doing is wrong, when you're doing the exact same thing.”
“I see you take after your dad just a little more than looks.” Todd laughed.
“Thanks. But he said I'm a lot like you too. He says I'm far too smart for my own good.”
“Yeah, he always told me the same thing. Okay, how about I make you a deal, I take the rest of summer off, you stay with me for the summer, and we work together to heal each other a bit, and then when it's time for you to go back to school, we both go back and we just bloody well make the best of our situations.”
“You mean it, I could stay here with you?” He asked happily.
“We'll have to ask your mom, but I think she'll say yes.” Todd smiled as well.
“I'd really like that. I think I'd also like to try letting you diaper me tonight.” Kyle nearly whispered.
“I'd be honored.” Todd smiled warmly.
For almost an hour more, they stayed sitting there, mostly cuddling, though they did talk a little more, but they stayed right there until Trish made it back. As soon as she did and was settled in, Kyle started talking.
“Mommy, Todd wants me to stay the summer with him, we think we can help each other out, and he says that if I promise to go back to school when the time comes and do my best, that he'll go back to work as well.”
“I think that's a great idea sweety. No one knew your father better than Todd, not even I knew him as well, you two can talk a lot and help each other heal a lot.” Trish smiled brightly, her plan had worked.
After that, they pretty much all just sat back and relaxed for the day and watched TV. They did not talk a whole lot, but Kyle stayed glued to Todd's side almost the entire time. About the only time he was not was when he got up to go to the washroom or when they all got up to get food. The first time Kyle got up, Todd gave Trish the thumbs up, she just smiled and nodded knowingly, expecting that fully. When bedtime for Kyle rolled around, he gave his mom a kiss goodnight and asked Todd to come with him, saying he wanted to talk for a few minutes again. He did not want to let his mom know that he was going to let Todd put him into his nice thick night diaper. When they made it to the bedroom, Kyle just laid down on his back on the bed in diaper change position.
“Where's your diapers and cream Buddy?” Todd asked softly as he closed the door.
“Everything you'll need's in the top drawer.”
“Do you wear jammies over your diapers?”
“No, just in case I leak, there's no point in ruining jammies as well.”
“Do you leak often?”
“No, I hardly ever do since my dad switched me to the new diapers a year ago. They're a lot thicker, and way more comfortable too, but I still put my plastic sheet on any bed I sleep on, for just in case.”
“That's good to hear.” Todd smiled as he was digging through the drawer.
In there he found the diapers alright, as well a pack of wipes and a jar of cream. He pulled put everything that he was going to need and went back to the bed.
“Are you sure about this Kyle, I don't want to do this for you if you're not ready for it?”
“I think I am.”
“Okay, do you want me to undress you as well?”
“Please. My daddy always did for me, he'd undress me 'til I was bare and diaper me, and then in the morning he'd take my diaper off for me and dress me again after my shower, and he dried me off as well.”
“You liked being a baby for your daddy, didn't you?” Todd asked softly as he was removing Kyle's shirt.
“Yeah, I did. He called me his beautiful baby boy all the time, especially once I was just in a diaper.”
“Well, you're a beautiful baby boy, in or out of diapers, and though you were three the last time I saw you in a diaper or naked, you were very much so then, and are more so now while clothed.”
“Thanks.” Kyle blushed lightly as his pants were being removed.
As Kyle was stripped down to his cute little bikini brief underwear, Todd could not help but notice that the boy seemed excited by this prospect, he was pushing quite the respectable bulge for a ten year old, and he was pulsing quite madly as well.
“Uh oh, me thinks someone's happy.” Todd chuckled.
“I can't help it, I'm always hard for my diaper changes.” Kyle blushed, but grinned as well.
“You're definitely just like your father. He wasn't gay at all, but every time I changed his diaper, he was hard as a rock. I can't tell you how often I offered to take care of it for him, but he always refused.” Todd chuckled.
“Yeah, he told me the same thing, but he never could let you, because he said it wouldn't have felt right not returning the favor.”
“That's what he told me as well. I'm surprised he told you that to tell you the truth. I know he probably told you lots of things that he wouldn't have told others, but you're quite young.” Todd said as he was removing Kyle's underwear.
“Yeah, he was very open with me, we talked about everything. I was six the first time he told me all about why my little dick was so hard like it always was, especially during diaper changes. He taught me how to jack off then as well, and even told me that it felt way better to put on a nice warm thick baby diaper and wet it and then rub myself through it to jack off. That's how I do it most often as well, but sometimes I just have to put my hand inside and take care of it that way as well.” He said almost totally unashamedly. The only reason Todd could tell he would not have normally said this to anyone but his dad was because he blushed a bit again.
“That's good. I suppose you and he had the same relationship as he and I had, we could talk about absolutely everything.”
As they were talking, Todd had pulled a wipe out and was cleaning Kyle up gently, then slipped a diaper underneath him. He was just applying a nice thick coating of the diaper rash cream to Kyle when he went off, he must have been too hot and or had not jacked off recently, because Todd had not even started rubbing the cream in, he had just touched Kyle, and that was it. Todd laughed, because it had been the most amazing orgasm he had seen before. It took a good five minutes for Kyle to come back down, and in that time, Todd had finished creaming Kyle up and pulled up and taped closed his very thick diaper. Todd was done for several minutes by the time Kyle came down.
“Wow, thank you so much, that was great.” Kyle sighed deeply.
“You're welcome, but I had no intentions of making you cum, and had I known you were that close, I would've told you to go to the bathroom and take care of it before I diapered you. Understandably, that wasn't supposed to happen, and I shouldn't have done that for you, even though I never really did anything at all.”
“I know, and I'm sorry, I just haven't jacked off once since my dad died.”
“He's been gone for six months, you're telling me that you haven't jacked off in six months?” Todd asked incredulously.
“Yeah. I just didn't feel like it. I had lots of erotic dreams, my dad told me that they'd be wet dreams once I could produce cum, so I didn't have to all the time, but there were times I wanted to, but I just didn't want to.”
“Wow, and here I thought I'd been depressed. Even with having to keep a tube shoved in my dick all the time, I still removed it at least once a day to jack off.” Todd laughed.
“You really do have to have a tube up your dick all the time like my mom said? Wow, that must totally suck.”
“Yeah, it's horrible, but it's either that or keep wetting my pants.”
“You could wear diapers too you know. That's what I'd rather wear.”
“Yeah, but you're a diaper lover, I'm not. I wore once with your dad and it did nothing for me, I think I'd prefer the catheters.”
“Okay, your loss then. Thanks for the diaper change though, that was real nice, and I think I'd like for you to change me all the time from now on while I'm here.”
“You're very welcome, but just so long as you understand you can't be going and cumming every time I diaper you, or I'll have to say no, because it isn't right for me to do that to you, so take care of that yourself, okay.”
“Okay, I will, thanks.” Kyle smiled brightly.
“Okay, goodnight my beautiful baby boy, you really are cute and adorable in just your diapers, just like your dad was.” Todd smiled warmly and leaned down and kissed Kyle on the forehead.
“Goodnight.” He smiled warmly, but he had a lone tear escape, he felt so loved again, like it was when his daddy was alive.
Todd left the room, shutting off the light and closing the door as he went, and then headed downstairs to talk to Trish. As soon as he sat down, she started.
“What was that all about? Did he ask you to change his diaper?”
“Yes, he did. We talked a lot today, most of which I won't tell you, just because you don't need to know it, even though he never asked me not to tell you. But as you saw earlier, he did admit to me that he's pretty much certain he's gay. I also told him that when and if he wanted me to, that I'd gladly change his diapers for him, and he decided later that he'd like that. I told him it'd be my honor to take over for his daddy where he was unable to do so any more.”
“I'm so happy. I hoped that the two of you'd be able to help each other out and heal each other, but it went even faster and better than I thought it would.”
“Thanks. I guess I didn't realize just how depressed I was, but just talking to Kyle's helped me a lot.”
“That's great. And did he open up to you and tell you anything?”
“Yeah, he told me lots and we just talked the entire time you were gone almost. He loved his daddy every bit as much as I did. Can't say's I blame him any there.” Todd chuckled softly.
“Yeah. Kevin often told me how infatuated Kyle was with him, that's how I was certain that Kyle was gay. Dad or not, Kyle loved Kevin more than he was supposed to. I know Kevin told him all the time though that those sorts of feelings were okay, but were not reciprocated, but I doubt Kyle really understood.”
“No, I doubt he did too.” Todd laughed.
They ended up staying up and talking for a good couple more hours before they both admitted that they were getting quite tired themselves and just had to go to bed. So they did. Todd headed to his bedroom and got himself all ready for bed and then crawled in and slept fairly well for the night, a first time in forever he thought the next morning when he finally awoke.