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The Angel of Pie Jesu.
By John T. S. Teller.
Book two: Journey of the Coin.
I haven't gone down to Yokiko in the guest room. I told him I wasn't going to go to him tonight. He was okay with that. He thinks it's because Gareth has gone away and I'm upset that he's gone. I am, but the reason I don't want to go to him is much deeper than that. I won't go to him because of the letter Gareth gave me before he left us in the Tiergarten.
As soon as we got to mum's house I went up to the room I share with Gottwin, but only after I told him not to come up and disturb me for a while. He ignored me, but I knew he wouldn't come. And when I got to the bedroom I opened the envelope and read Gareth's letter. He'd written it in perfect German so I wouldn't have difficulty reading it.
My dearest Aleric, my love, my life,
I want to say these words to you before I leave, but I can't, and I know you wouldn't be able to handle it if I did. I've been thinking all week about what to say. But there's too much and I'll never get to the end, so I'll just ramble out my thoughts.
I still remember the day we met, vividly. I mean when we met properly after Kurt had arranged things. This will make you laugh. 8691. That damned door at The Schiller. Then, when it opened it was like a magic door and we held hands as we ran to our car laughing all the way and when I stopped the car and told you how I felt about you, I felt sick inside thinking you might reject me. But you didn't, and you said you felt the same way and that you wanted us to be special friends too. I can never describe my feelings then. They were beyond words. And neither can I describe how I felt when I patted your gorgeous bottom before you went back inside. I'd touched you! There! I was a very naughty boy, but it was worth it. Star in the Hood. He tucked my phone down his pants! The naughty boy! But I was even more naughty. I wanted to be that phone! Then we kissed. By the door just before you went in. I couldn't breathe for five minutes afterwards because I was so lovestruck after that kiss. The boy I loved had just kissed me! OMG! He kissed me!!!! LOL.
Then the conversation by phone we had afterwards when you sent me that naughty picture. You naughty boy! I didn't understand it then, but that's when it happened. That's the exact moment when I began to understand what I am. Girls/women never turned me on, but an almost naked thirteen year old boy did. I'd already fallen in love with you by then, but that photograph was the real key to unlocking all the doors to my inner psyche, and I hated myself at what I discovered. Why would I hate myself for desiring you? You're stunningly beautiful, as sexy as hell, but you're a boy. That was the problem. Men should not fall in love with boys, and neither should they desire them sexually. Well, that's what is drummed into us from an early age. It's unnatural. Or so they say. But who are THEY? They are so-called moralistic people who live immoral lives. I know what they are. I work with them and meet even more in my business and on my travels. But that didn't make it any easier for me.
At the time I didn't dare believe you loved me like I love you, but I did know you were a sexy little sod who was fully aware of what some boys can do to men. But even after all that stuff I wasn't quite ready to love you fully like I do now and have done for a long time, and that's because I'd been brainwashed by immoral people into believing that I was a `dirty person' for loving and desiring you.
Weihnachten. At our special place. The first time we did it. You made me do it. I was distraught that I'd done it. I loved you, I wanted you, but I nearly died because I allowed our loving change from innuendo to reality. I very nearly did jump into the river and drown myself. I felt I'd betrayed you... the boy I loved. I can look back on it now and almost laugh about it, but I wasn't laughing at the time. Oh no... it took a very special person to make me understand myself and to come to terms with what I was, and that boy was Aleric Hahn, the person I'm writing this letter to now and who means more to me than anything in the world.
But we've gone beyond that stage now. We're beginning a new part of our life. And that's what this letter is really about. When I get back from the US, we've planned to go to Wales and we're going to exchange rings in one of your God places and seal our love forever. I know we've talked about it, but I really need confirmation that's it's what YOU really want. But I want to tell you something that I've given a great deal of thought to. I fell in love with a boy, but I didn't really. I fell in love with a person named Aleric Hahn, and I'm absolutely sure that when that boy becomes a man, I will love him and desire him as much as I do now. It's important that I tell you this so you know what you're getting yourself into.
So, Aleric, I'll be gone for a week. That should give you enough time to digest these words. I want you to be 100% sure that what I want is what you want. I know it's a lot to ask a young man, but I have to place that burden on you now. Why? Because I don't want to hurt you in any way.
But why am I giving you this letter now? It's because Yokiko has come into your life. He's your own age and with him you will never have to put up with the hurt you're going to have to deal with as we do because of our age difference. And please don't tell me that it doesn't matter. It does matter. Especially for me it matters because I never want anyone to harm you. That's the real reason why you're getting this letter. You'll have another week with Yokiko, and maybe you'll discover that sharing your life with someone your own age would be better for you.
Aleric, there's something about you that's wiser than your age, older than your wonderful body, and very few people in the world could understand that. But I do, and that's why I'm giving you this opportunity to think very carefully about what I've said. And whatever your decision I will accept it. It won't stop me loving you if you choose to make a life elsewhere. In fact you know me well enough by now that I'll always do anything for you, and there will never be any strings attached to whatever you want. I also love your family. In fact they've become more important than my own. I couldn't imagine a time when I wasn`t making sure they were complete in every way.
So now I'm going to end this letter. Please don't be angry with me for writing these words. I love you Aleric Hahn, and that love is so powerful that I'm prepared to give you the freedom to live the rest of your life without me if you think that living with someone your own age will be better than having to go through what we'll have to go through if we become a permanent item for as long as we're together. That's why I've written these words.
I love you.
I'm re-reading the letter now as I lie in my bed, and tears are rolling down my cheeks like a river.
I get out of bed and go to Gottwin. He knows I've been crying. He lifts the duvet and I get in beside him. He wraps me in his arms and kisses my face. I kiss him back and hug him like mad, and then I allow my identical twin brother absorb the deep sorrow I'm feeling. He understands. Well, he thinks he does. He hasn't read the letter and he thinks it's because I'm missing Gareth. But my hurt is much deeper than Gareth's absence.
************ ************** ************* ************** *************
I'm up earlier than normal today - at 5.30 am. There's a reason I am. The house was like a morgue after we got back from seeing Gareth off. It's Aleric. I knew he would be upset, but I didn't realise that he would be so upset that he would pretty much lock himself in his room for the rest of the day. He made a couple of short appearances, mumbled a few words to Yokiko and then went back to the twins' room. I asked Gottwin to go and see what he could do, but he came back down and told me that Aleric wasn't in a talking mood. I wanted to go to him myself but I thought it would be wiser to give him a night's sleep and see what he was like in the morning.
And now it's morning and I'm up extra early, but somebody has beaten me to it. I'm shocked. Aleric is in the kitchen, in his dressing gown, sitting on a breakfast stool and hunched over the breakfast bar, and he's sobbing into his hands. I go behind him and hug him and ask him, "What's the matter?" He shakes his head and sobs even more than he was doing before. Now I am worried, so I get a bar stool and sit beside him and wrap an arm around him. "You're going to have to tell me what's wrong, Aleric! We can't have you like this! What's the matter?"
I can't believe what he mumbles, "I don't think Gareth wants me anymore."
"What on earth makes you think that?"
Aleric pummels his fist on the bar. "He wrote me a letter!"
I'm usually pretty good at keeping my cool, but the anger inside me boils over when I say, "Let me see it!"
He shakes his head. "I can't."
"It says some things in it that I don't want you to see."
"What sort of things?"
Aleric sobs. "Stuff. Things about us!"
I think I know what he's getting at, but I'm determined to see what Gareth could have written that has brought Aleric to this state, and I'm glad Ralf isn't about when I decide to say what I do. "Aleric, I met your father when I was just fourteen years old. I know I'm your mother, but I'm also a woman. Back then I was a girl. I was no damned angel. How on earth do you think Norbert and Gunther and you and Gottwin were made? You didn't come in a damned gift box! Your father and I had sex. Stuff... you call it! I know about stuff! Show me the letter! NOW!"
He doesn't answer. Instead, he buries his head in his hands and sobs some more. Then I see it, in the pocket of his dressing gown. I reach down and take it out, expecting some sort of a backlash from him, but it doesn't come. Instead, even more sobs.
Thank goodness Gareth has written it in German. I read it, and then re-read it. Now I understand. Now I can put my precious boy's mind at rest. Gareth was wrong. He wrote in it, Aleric, there's something about you that's wiser than your age, older than your wonderful body, and very few people in the world could understand that. The damned idiot! He's right and he's wrong. Yes, my boy is wiser than his age, older than his wonderful body, but he's not yet old enough to understand that Gareth is prepared to suffer for the rest of his life so that my boy can be happy. How could a fourteen year old boy understand that? It takes a grown up who is truly unselfish to to do that. A young boy is incapable of thinking that way.
I've seen the closeness between my boy and Yokiko. There's a chemistry between them. I know why Gareth has given Aleric the option. A liaison between a thirty-two year old man and a fourteen year old boy is unnatural. Gareth knows that. Aleric does too. That's why they and we have to pretend so much. Gareth is right... You're stunningly beautiful, as sexy as hell, but you're a boy. That was the problem. Men should not fall in love with boys, and neither should they desire them sexually. Well, that's what is drummed into us from an early age. It's unnatural. Or so they say. But who are THEY? They are so-called moralistic people who live immoral lives. And then he goes on... I'd been brainwashed by immoral people into believing that I was a `dirty person' for loving and desiring you. But the saving grace in all this is what he also wrote... I fell in love with a boy, but I didn't really. I fell in love with a person named Aleric Hahn, and I'm absolutely sure that when that boy becomes a man, I will love him and desire him as much as I do now.
That's what brings me to tears and makes me wrap my arms around my precious boy, and that's what makes me say to him, "You're wrong, Aleric. Gareth loves you more than anything in the world and he wants you to be together for the rest of his life. Actually, what he's saying in the letter is that he thinks the difference in your ages might be the reason why you won't be able to last the distance. He doesn't want you to get hurt. You know yourself that at the moment it's Gareth who has to duck and dive to protect himself, and to protect you. What he's saying is that a life with a young man your own age will be much easier for you. He's right. It would be. But he hasn't taken one thing into account. How could he? He's not a Hahn. He doesn't know that when we fall in love, we fall in love forever. You're like your mum, Aleric. And your father. You've got it on both sides. We Hahns don't do things by halves, whatever difficulties are placed in front of us. So, the only question you have to answer is whether you're prepared to go to Wales to seal your love with the man who loves you so much that he's prepared to sacrifice his own happiness for you, and put up with all the hassle that will go with your association. It's not just Gareth who will feel the wrath of bigots. It will definitely hurt you at times. Are you?"
Aleric turns his head to me and stares into my eyes. "Of course I am! I know what people are like! Don't you think I get nasty things said to me at School! I know it will cause us problems now and when we get older. It's causing problems now. I'm his boyfriend. He should be taking me to meet his parents. But he can't do that. He has to hide me as if I'm a dirty rag! That hurts me. But I can take it and anything else for Gareth. So why should he doubt me?"
I take out a handkerchief from my blouse sleeve and wipe away his tears. "He doesn't doubt you. He just can't get it into his thick Welsh skull that love coming from a Hahn is different than other loves. We don't mess about. What you get is what you see, and it's not always nice either. We Hahn's can be very demanding. Not many people can put up with us. I do think he's a bit lacking in the `upstairs department'. If he hasn't worked it out after all the rubbish you've given him these last few months then he must be a dullard." I grin at him. "Either that or he's afraid your sex drive will see him into an early grave. Did you really make him do it at your special place? If you did, I'm not surprised he wanted to top himself. I'll bet he didn't know where to put his face, did he?"
Aleric sobs and giggles at the same time, and then he says, angrily, "I told you I didn't want you to read it!"
I hold his head and kiss his beautiful, wet lips. "I've got a stack of letters upstairs in a secret place that I wrote to your father, and I can tell you straight that some of mine would put Gareth's flimsy efforts to shame."
Game, set, and match. Aleric wraps his arms around me and cries away the rest of his hurt, and half an hour later, while just the two of us are getting through two large cups of lemon and honey tea, we've made plans. The whole family have been invited to witness The Wedding.
He's gone back to bed. He says we won't see him again until around four. According to Aleric, because they're seven hours behind us where Gareth is, that will be around 9 am Sunday morning American time. Gareth had better be available. I wouldn't like to be in his shoes if he isn't. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't like to be in his shoes if he is! He's going to have one very angry boyfriend to contend with.
************ *************** ************* ************* ***********
We've just had a light breakfast and I'm sitting by the pool with Mum and Dad when the black Iphone rings... Aleric's phone. I open the call but don't speak to Aleric. Instead, and I know Aleric can hear me, I apologise to Mum and Dad, tell them that the call is personal, make my excuses and walk to the other side of the pool and into the large garden behind it. I've been dreading this call. As a matter of fact I expected one from him much sooner than this. So I speak softly into the phone, "Hi. You okay?"
"Is it the letter?"
I can sense the anger in his voice. "You know it's the letter! Yes, I do want to fucking marry you in Wales! I've invited mum and dad and whoever else wants to come with us, so you'd better sort stuff out where they can stay. Oh, and just so you know... our Japanese boyfriend won't be there! I'm marrying you, not him!" Then he adds, sarcastically, "Unless you want him as my best man?"
Despite Aleric's anger, that comment makes me chuckle. "No. Just you and me. And I'll sort the other stuff. The last Sunday in August. It's my birthday before then... on the 23rd."
"I know when your fucking birthday is! Are you sure you won't be too fucking old for me when you're thirty-three!"
I suppose it's the relief I'm feeling that makes me accept Aleric's bad language, which I don't usually tolerate in our non-sex talk. I remember the last time he was so vulgar, so he must be angry. It was when I last questioned him about if he still loved me after he'd been with Bedri. This time I've posed the question in the letter whether he loves me enough to go through the shit we'll get for the rest of our lives because of the age difference. He seems to have made up his mind. But how to stem this anger? I can't really. I know what he's like when he's in a really terrible mood, so I just try and take the sting out of it when I say, "I love you."
It does remove a bit of the sting, but his voice is still acidic when he replies, "Don't you think I know that! Your problem is that you still don't know how much I love you! Do you really think I give a shit about what other people think about me loving an old man!"
"I'm not that old!"
"According to you, you are!"
I chuckle. "Well, I do get worn out quickly."
That completely removes the sting, and Aleric chuckles. "That's because you're useless and not because you're old. You don't know how to pace yourself. I'm going to send you to Bedri's for lessons."
"Perhaps you should propose to old vibrating dog instead of me?"
My boy is on top form. "I'll ask him when I'm in bed with him tomorrow."
Now I'm thinking on my feet big style. "Give him my regards and tell him to wash your feet properly. Your hormones are giving you sweaty feet these days."
Aleric giggles. "That wasn't me. That was your Japanese boyfriend. He's the one who likes his feet licked. You two should start a foot licking clinic. You're both perverts that way."
I laugh. "I like boy feet. They're sexy. I'll suck your toes for you when I get back."
I already know what's coming from my boy, "I've got something better than toes that I like sucking."
At that point I give up. I need to leave Aleric in a good mood. "Are you two sharing a bed tonight?"
"Of course we are. It will be a bit empty without you, but I might invite Gottwin to join us. You don't mind, do you?"
I laugh. "Doesn't bother me one bit, but if your mum catches all three of you in bed together there'll be hell to play. How is your mum?"
Aleric goes quiet. "She read your letter."
Tears now. "I wouldn't speak to anybody and I couldn't sleep after I'd read it. Mum caught me downstairs in the middle of the night crying my eyes out. She made me give it to her. After she'd read it she made me see sense. I thought you didn't want me anymore. I'm sorry Gareth."
"That's why you were angry with me?"
"Uhuh. I'm sorry."
"It's okay. I understand. I wanted you to be sure what you were letting yourself in for. I couldn't think of any other way of telling you that all that matters to me is your happiness."
"I know that now. I really do love you Gareth."
"I love you too. Now we've got all that sorted, I've got a special surprise for you. I wasn't going to tell you until we got to Wales, but I think we need get this stuff behind us. I've bought a place in South Wales for us."
Aleric sounds surprised. "Have you?! What sort of place?"
"A beautiful six-bedroom house by the sea, and wait for it... we've got our very own chapel to get married in. It's in the grounds of the house and I'm having it fully restored. It will be ready by mid-august."
More tears now, and eventually Aleric says, "So you really didn't want to get rid of me?"
"Of course I didn't. But neither did I want to put a rope around your neck. I love you Aleric... I want you more than anything in the world, but I had to be one hundred percent sure for your sake as well as mine. I know I can put up with the shit we're going to get, so if you can, then it's all systems go. Are you up for it?"
"Oh yes! Try and stop me!"
"Okay. Will I speak to you tomorrow?"
"No. I'm going to prove to you how much I love you and trust you. Nothing hurts me more than when you're away, but I'm going to spend the rest of the time while you're away organising our wedding. I'll text you, and you text me, but the next time I speak to you it will be when I'm in your arms."
"Are you sure? I'm going to miss speaking to you."
"I'm sure. Do you mind if I get Kurt and mum to help me? And would it spoil things if you sent me pictures of our new place?"
"No, I don't mind. Later today I'll send all the stuff by email. I'd better be getting back now. Mum and Dad will think something strange is going on."
Aleric laughs. "There is. Tell them that you've been talking to your fourteen year old boyfriend who ravages your old body as often as he can, and don't miss out the bit that your old pinkler always ends up in a place he loves it to be."
I laugh. "Go away! I love you."
"I love you Gareth. I always will."
When I get back to Mum and Dad, Mum asks me, "Business, Son?"
I nod. "Yes. Very important business. Sorry about that."
She places her hand over mine. "Will you come to church with us today?"
"I'm not into religion, Mother. Sorry."
She sighs. "Shame. Anyway, there's a Gay Pride march on today and we're going to need to take the long way round." She shudders. "God... I hate those weird people. They make me feel sick inside every time I see them. God should strike them all down dead, especially those men and women who dress up in opposite sex clothes."
The thought of my beautiful Kurt comes to mind and I shudder at what I've just heard. I look away so Mother can't see the hatred in my eyes when I'm thinking... And God should strike down those bible fucking thumping evangelical bigots who think the fucking world began four thousand years ago!
************ *************** ************* ************* ***********
We're all around my laptop looking at the photos Gareth has sent me of the house and chapel in South Wales. I've saved them from the mails he sent to me and put them in a folder called A-Dragon's-Dream. He'll laugh at that when I tell him.
Tell him. I'm wishing now I hadn't told him that I wouldn't be speaking to him again before he got home. We've texted... lots of times, but no calls and no sex via the webcam. Thank goodness I've got Yokiko here. If he wasn't, I think I may have gone to Bedri's place.
Yokiko. He's great fun and we're getting on fantastically well. He loves sex as much as I do, but I've refused to suck his toes and feet. LOL. That was something he got Gareth to do for him. Gareth, the kinky sod, was happy to oblige, but I think he only did it to make me jealous. I didn't miss the amusement in his eyes when he was sucking Yokiko's big toe like a pinkler while I was up the bed at the side of Yokiko, making him suck me off. At the time, Yokiko had got my Gareth Dildo up his bum humming away at full speed, and he was wanking himself off while me and Gareth were serving him sex in different ways.
But it was like that for most of last week. It came natural to all of us once I'd managed to get Gareth drunk enough to let it happen. He knows it's what I want, and he's joined in big time. But I'm not daft. I know Gareth loves only me, but being with me has opened his mind to stuff he never thought about before, and I knew before we got to Japan that Gareth had at least thought about having sex with Yokiko. I know how it works. I've been there! I look at other men. I don't go with them because I know that what me and Gareth have is too important to go messing around with other men, but the thoughts are there and I'm pretty sure that now I've introduced Gareth to the fun he can have with boys like me then he will occasionally see a boy he fancies... that way! In fact he's already found one. He allowed me to lead him too easily into what we did with Yokiko. Am I jealous that he fancies Yokiko? Yes I am!
LLantwit Major. What a strange name. Mum loves the new house, but dad says the Brits are mad. He can't understand why they only build houses with two floors. Well, most of them. Our house has three floors and two rooms in the roof space. We Germans can knock spots off them when it comes to doing things right. But the house is lovely, and dad likes it more because it's by the sea. The proper sea and not a sea like the Wannsee. Gareth has sent photos of the chapel in various states of restoration. In the mail he wrote, he told me about the man who is doing the work, a man named Dai Williams. There are some photos with him in it. Gareth says Dai is the conductor in one of those Welsh male voice choirs. That's when a thought comes to me. If me and Gareth go to live in Wales, then when I'm grown up I can join a male voice choir.
There's one piece of Welsh music I really like. It's in Welsh and sung by the Fron Male Voice Choir. It's Gareth's national anthem. I don't understand a word they're singing but I love the sound of their powerful voices and the harmony. It's dramatic. Me and Gareth have spent hours talking about his homeland... the land he really loves. In fact I probably know more about the history of Wales than I do of my own homeland and I get fed up when he drones on and on about how much he loves his Welsh rugby team. That's something else Gareth does. When he's talking about how many languages he can speak, he never mentions that he can speak the Welsh language fluently. He seems to regard it as something apart from speaking `other' languages. To him it's his natural birthright to know it, and so he never mentions it. That's the only time he really sings out loud. When he's having a shower or we're sharing the spa bath, he blasts out his national anthem in his native Welsh tongue. It makes me laugh. He can't sing, but he tries to do a tenor voice. That's why I'm misty eyed and chuckling when, while we're looking at the pictures and stuff he's sent us, I listen to Land of my Fathers on YouTube and Mum asks me what I'm up to. I grin at her and tell her that I'm thinking of that daft bugger in America singing it when he's in the shower or the bath. She chuckles with me.
Daft bugger. That short two-word phrase has become commonly used in the Hahn family. We use it all the time when someone is being silly. That's what it means. Gareth uses it all the time when me and Gottwin are being silly: Behave you pair of daft buggers! Now mum and dad and Gunther use it, but they use the German/English version: Verhalten sie sich irh daft buggers! LOL.
The chapel is lovely. Nothing special... just a small rectangular building made of stone and with a slate roof and a front porch covered in ivy. The windows are nice. They're leaded ones. Coloured leaded ones. In some of the photos, some of the windows are missing. They've probably gone off to be restored. Gareth never does things by halves. In the latest ones you can see things taking shape, but I'm worried that it might not be finished before the last Sunday in August. Dad says it will all come together all at once. He says it's the same when you're building a boat. I hope he's right.
************ ************** ************* ************** *************
Aunt Jane – my mother's sister - arrived yesterday with her family. She married Erwin Schultzberg, a banker from New York and she's lived in the US for over forty years now. She's older than my mother by two years. She's sixty-five. They live in Orlando, Florida. Her two children, my cousins and their families have also arrived. They also live in Florida. One lives in Orlando and the other in Jacksonville. The oldest, Donald, is married to Hilary. Their two children haven't come with them. They're at university. The youngest, Nancy, and her husband John Devine, a clinical psychologist, can't have children, but have adopted two boys... a super-looking, red-haired boy named Cody, and John Jnr., who is blonde haired, blue-eyed, and freckle-faced. Although he doesn't have sticky-out ears, he reminds me a lot of little Hansie. He's as cute as a pearl button. Cody is almost seventeen and John Jnr. is ten. They're typical American boys: cute and extroverted. I like them. They seem to like me. I rarely see them so I suppose it's a novelty having a super-rich relative who doesn't piss them off when they're having fun. What they don't know, of course, is that I'm more than familiar with kids their age and how they behave.
For instance, like now at eleven o'clock in the morning when they're in the pool and throwing water at us adults as we sit drinking our iced G&T's, rather than cussing them as mum and dad do, I just laugh at them. I'm used to boys throwing water. I often have it done to me when the boys are in the spa tub in the wet room at the apartment. It's all good fun to me.
I'm dressed in shorts and a tee-shirt and decide to surprise the boys the next time they throw water at us. I see them together, giggling behind hands and looking at me. I know who the next target is going to be so I slip my trainers off in readiness. I'm right, and when they swim slowly to the side, scoop water in their hands and I'm the recipient, I surprise them by jumping out of my lounger and run towards them. They swim rapidly away, expecting me to stop at the edge of the pool. But I don't. Instead, I dive into the water and grab them both when I surface. Little John Jnr. is easy meat. I've got him wrapped in one arm before he can get away, but Cody slips out of my clutches. So now it becomes a game of catch the boy.
I sling John Jnr. onto my left shoulder and go after Cody. But he's too agile, too lithe, and he's a pretty good swimmer. Eventually I have to give up, and after I've let John Jnr. slide off my shoulder and back into the water, I point a warning finger at Cody and tell him that he's not out of the wood yet! He gives me a typical boy answer... with a massive grin on his face he throws more water at me.
I get out and go back to the family - who are all laughing at my antics - take a towel off the rail and dry myself, and then sit down and take a drink of my G&T. But I know I'm not out of the wood yet. It isn't the way boys work. But because I know how boys work, I know who's going to win next time.
Next time. It happens less than two minutes after I've sat down. But I'm ready for them when two handfuls of water cascade over me. I'm not interested in little John Jnr. this time. My target is the lovely Cody who thinks he can get the better of a Welsh Dragon. When it comes to fun and games back at home, when I'm serious, Aleric and Gottwin know when they're beaten, and I always win. I've jumped fully clothed into the spa tub to dish out their punishment before now, and that's what going to happen to Cody now. So that's why I have only one target. Within a minute I've got him on my shoulders, and despite his wriggling and screaming, it doesn't stop me spanking his bottom for quite a while until he surrenders. Only then do I let him go. But I'm wise enough not to get out of the pool. I know what will happen if I do... they'll just keep this game up until they get in trouble with the adults. So now I adopt my protective mode. I stay in with them and we play games for a while.
Little John Jnr. becomes clingy, so I carry him around most of the time. He's gorgeous and I want to kiss his head and show him some love, but I don't. I don't want it to become too obvious that I'd rather be in the pool having fun with the boys than talking mostly shit stuff with the adults. But there comes a time when I have to get out. Cody has a body much like my Aleric but much more well defined and he's got a lovely six-pack and his frame is well muscled for a boy his age, and I'm in constant contact with him. I can also sense the vibes. Cody is gay. I know all the signs. I just hope he doesn't.
2 pm. Lunch is informal... casual wear and salad and meats. 7ups for the boys; Budweisers for the men, and wine for the girls. Seating is optional. Well, for me it isn't. I've got Cody to my right and John Jnr. to my left. Boys together. More than together. I've got a left leg resting against my right one. The vibes are at work. It gets worse. Cody is making exaggerated movements and his left hand ends up on my left, unclad thigh, and I don't miss the definite bulge he's trying to hide inside his multicoloured Bermuda shorts. Thank goodness I can take my drink. When you've spent a night drinking with Ralf, then what I've had up to yet are just aperitifs. My brain is in overdrive. Talk about shitting on your own doorstep! This would be a disaster if I allowed this to get out of hand. I'm not sure what the laws in Texas are, but I could possibly go to jail for a hundred years here for just wanking this kid off! Time to sort things! But how do I do it without hurting the boy?!
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It's nine o'clock in the evening and I'm sitting outside with Yokiko, talking about how he will enjoy spending Weihnachten with us. Then I get that strange feeling inside me. It starts at my skin and then goes inside and makes my heart flutter. The first thought that comes into mind is that Gottwin is in trouble, so I excuse myself with Yokiko and saunter down the garden and ring him. He's with Lydia back in Berlin and is staying over at her place, and he's in a good mood. Gunther took him up there this afternoon in his Audi Quattro. I tell him that I've just had that funny feeling when he's in trouble. He laughs at me and tells me that he's okay and that I'm an idiot for interrupting him. I know what he means. He's told me that Lydia's parents were going out for the evening and he was going to fuck her again. I've probably interrupted him while he was either doing it, or on his way to doing it. Probably the latter, because even a phone call from me wouldn't have stopped him if he was already fucking her. I'm relieved when I've spoken to him, but then Gareth comes into my mind. Can it be because of him? I don't get these feelings for nothing.
I promised Gareth I wouldn't phone him. What time will it be there now? Two o'clock in the afternoon? I have to. I just know I have to... if it's only to put my mind at rest.
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My black Iphone rings on the serviette beside me. I've had some serious shit off my parents about my phones. You're on holiday! Switch the damned things off! If it's anything serious then they'll ring our house number! They're right. That's why the silver one is in my bedroom and switched off. Business has had instructions to leave me alone! But no way would I accede to their demands regarding the black phone. This is our phone... Aleric's and mine, it's on twenty four seven, and the world can go and fuck itself before I switch that one off, or let it out of my sight.
I make my apologies, pick up the phone, connect the call, say a quick, "hang on a second," and walk away from the family and into the garden where I went before. Only then do I speak to my boy. "Hi. Is everything okay?"
I can tell Aleric is agitated when he says, "Yes, but I'm worried about you."
He blurts into the phone, "I've just had one of my strange feelings. I've phoned Gotty. He says he's okay. Then I got scared and thought something might be wrong with you. Are you alright?"
I think for a moment before replying. Could what Cody has just done have been that serious? I could have avoided him. I might have hurt the boy, but I'm sure I could have been clever enough to keep him away from me. But could I? His wasn't the only hard penis in his pants. Mine was in sync with him. I'm gay, and when a beautiful young boy puts his hands on your naked thigh, then who knows what it could lead to? A few drinks – maybe more than a few – and I could have been fucking that boy tonight. Would I? Not likely, but not impossible now Aleric has opened doors inside me that should not be opened. Overdrive Brain is operating again, and I try to put on a nonchalant air. "Damn that bloody spirit! How did it know?"
Aleric asks, "What do you mean?"
I laugh. "I've decided to come home today and I wanted to surprise you."
"Why? Have you fallen out with your family?"
"No. I've spent four days with them... their bible thumping bigotry is driving me crazy, and I'm missing you and Yokiko."
Aleric laughs. "You randy devil! But I've got news for you... Old Man!"
I laugh. "And what's that?"
"Text me the number of the flight you'll be on and the surprise will be waiting for you at the airport. It will be just me and not your toe-sucking friend!"
I'm still chuckling when I reply, "Okay, but do me a favour."
"Take the worst out of yourself on Yokiko before I get back. I'll be knackered."
Aleric sniggers naughtily. "No chance, Old Man. Anyway, unlike you, Old Man, I can manage all that Yokiko can dish out and still have plenty left in the tank to keep you awake for two hours in the apartment. Get some rest on the plane. You'll need it!"
Two hours later after I've told them that that one of my business deals is in danger of collapsing and losing me a few million dollars, and leaving behind an angry mother and father plus a sad little boy and an almost seventeen year old who is even more sad that I'm going, I give them all hugs and get into the limo that's taking me to the airport. But I can't help being really naughty before I go. I manage to get Cody with his back to the others when I give him a hug, and I squeeze one of his thinly clad buttocks with a strong hand. I don't like to hurt boys. He might pine for a while, but my action will tell him that he hasn't been rejected and in different circumstances it might have been different. That's important to young men. Besides, that will get me a few brownie points off Aleric when I tell him all about Cody and what I've done to him. I know what he'll say. You should have brought him home with you! LOL.
To be continued...
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