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Please send comments to: to larkin@tutanota.com...And I will respond

Not to disappoint anyone, but this story still falls under the heading of wank-media

All the usual disclaimers apply. Tread with caution. The story below was first published 3 years ago in a different forum and it has been re-written. This story does not discuss the theories of nurture or nature. It is not a portrait of flamboyance. This story explores the natural occurring femininity in a boy. He has done nothing wrong, he just is. More importantly, this story is about a guileless boy's existence in a world that is perplexed and sometimes even hostile to something both alien and vulnerable in their midst.

The Boy Who Wasn't

by Chance  all rights reserved

Life on the Street

Josey's eye wandered from breakfast counter to the pick-up window and beyond, to where the black grill cooks were carrying on and laughing while dishing up the perfect food. 

Jennifer ordered the same as always, French-toast.

He looked down at his menu.  "Um..I think I'll have pancakes and sausages."

The waitress scooped up the menus and hurried off.

"Well the rent's paid for another week.  We'll look for work tomorrow, why don't we go to the beach?"

Josey nodded. 

A pear-shaped man approached the booth where they sat. Jennifer looked up and smiled, "Barney! what are you doing here?"

"Oh nothing, I just came in for breakfast, can I join you?"

"Sure."

The plain looking man slid into the booth next to Jennifer. His arm stretched along the back of the booth behind his mother. It was a detail not lost on Josey.

"This is my son, Josiah."

Barney offered his hand across the table. His handshake was forceful and uncomfortable.

"I got two boys of my own, Eddie and Richie. They're two years apart close to Josiah's age. Me and my wife separated last year.  They live over in the Valley, but I kept the marriage together for the sake of the boys.  Boys need their father and I wanted to make sure that they'd be ok. I still see them once a week." 

Barney gave Josey a subtle side-glance that was critical somehow.

Jennifer and Barney talked about superficial things.  Josey studied Barney's face. He couldn't see anything he had in common with this man. He was like a man in a ticket booth or a bus driver.  There was nothing to latch onto.  Josiah thought, Surely there was more to him than that?

He let them talk and got up to go pee. The restroom was tidy but smelled of urine.  Josey's mind drifted back to the movie theater and the ride in the car with the man he didn't really know.

The breakfast had arrived and Barney was holding up his menu and ordering. 

Jennifer was in good spirits. "Josey, Barney's an engineer, technical stuff and all.  He's a real genius.  He invented some kind of gasket." 

The ordinary looking man was beaming at the compliments.

Josey found out later that he was a mechanic who repaired washers and driers in laundromats and had accounts all over the Valley. 

"Well let's not get carried away."  His laughter sort of bothered Josey but he didn't quite know why.

~

The two picked up the Wilshire bus and headed into Santa Monica.

Jennifer wore jeans and a tube top and carried a beach bag.  Josey wore close fitting shorts with a towel hung on his neck and flip flops.  He was beginning to get tall and a bit gangely.

"Why don't we move to Venice, it's on the beach?"

Jennifer considered the idea. "Ok, I'll look in the ads. We can't do any worse than we are doing where we are.  Hollywood is so glamorous on the outside and so ugly underneath."

Once on the beach they did the girl thing, Sunglasses, spreading out a blanket and the laying out like cats in the sun rubbing lotions on each other.

All of Josey's mannerisms seemed to be feminine. His hands were thin and delicate, his torso lacked any male definition and when his mother made a funny observation, Josey laughed like a young girl. Together they looked like two girls sunning themselves on the beach.  Josey imitated his mother because it was the only life example he had but his femininity was not put on or contrived. It was completely natural. This was just the way Josey was.

An old Jewish lady with a big hat lugging an aluminum beach chair stopped and was overtaken by her own friendly laugh.

"Oh lord, I thought you were a girl and you were going topless.  It gave me quite a start, I'm so sorry."

Josey and Jennifer, smiled and watched the old woman lumber off.  Jennifer knew that her son was more girl than boy but she had no idea what to do about it.  It was easier to pretend everything was normal and anyway she loved Josey just the way he was.

Jennifer pulled out a cigarette and lit it.  "Having one cigarette a day is real hell, I should just stop altogether."

"Tell me about my father.."

Jennifer gave a pensive frown. "Honey, why do you worry about him? he's nothing to you and God only knows where he is."

"I don't know, it's sort of natural to ask about your own father, isn't it?"

"I'm ashamed to admit this, but we only had two dates and then he was gone...And I ended up with you and you have made me so happy that I never regretted it for a second."

Jennifer realized that Josey needed to know about him so that he could understand himself more.

"Well he was one handsome man, I always had good taste, blond and blue eyed like us. He was a musician and beyond that, he was pretty useless.  He drank, kicked ass and sometimes ended up in jail.  Last I heard he joined some cracker-rock group.  I knew you might get to the age where you'd want to go off and find him, but I promise you, you are better off not doin it."

She stroked Josey on the back. "I am sorry to say this, but he was an..."

She leaned forward and mouthed the word, Asshole.

~

That night, Josey woke up out of a deep sleep. His mother was asleep along side of him.  He thought about the man he had met and how easily he had seduced him. 

Like any boy his age, Josey jerked off every day.  Mostly when Jennifer was out and sometimes in a private moment when she was there. The small room afforded no privacy. The first time it happened in the middle of the night, his mother turned towards him and whispered in his ear. "It's ok, you can do it, I understand."

She snuggled up close but didn't interfere. It was intimate but it never went further than that. Josey continued jerking off.

But this night was different. His mother was deep asleep and the image of the man rose up inside him with the most intense erection he had ever had. He stroked it slowly savory each moment while reconstructing the event in his mind.  He felt the man's hand on the back of his neck. The man had put his cock into Josey's mouth. It was such a dirty thing to do and Josey let him do it and wanted him to do it. The reverie was so vivid. Josey came but it was a sprinkle more like urine than like semen. He remember that he had the scrap of paper with the phone number written on it and the name, Clark.

~

"I'm goin to dinner tonight with Barney you'll be alright won't you?  Here's money for pizza and I'll be back by twelve. Barney says he'll fix us up with a better TV."

Josey barely looked up from his magazine. "Ok."

In spite of his anemic education, Josey was trying to learn how to read before he forgot what little he had learned when he was pulled out of school.

"What's this word?"

Jennifer looked over his shoulder at the supermarket gossip rag. "Celebrity, you know like movie stars."

"I know what a celebrity is! I just didn't recognize it printed down on paper."

Josey was not stupid, just insufficiently educated.

~

When his mother went out the door on her big date, Josey was relieved to finally be alone.  He paused and then took off all of his clothes to admire himself in the mirror.  His image was not unpleasant but in his mind, it was gauzy and ethereal like a picture of an naked maiden out of an art book.  He considered his penis and scrotum as small and unremarkable and wondered who would ever be interested in something so insignificant. He tucked his penis and scrotum between his legs giving the impression that he had an innocent pussy.  On him, it didn't look unusual at all. 

Josey hadn't quite gotten to the stage of teenage self adoration but it was just beginning to blossom. People had been interested in him but he didn't really understand why.  On the bus to the beach a man sitting opposed to them stared at him and kept adjusting his crotch. Boys his own age would never engage him but their eyes followed him as he walked by. Maybe part of it was the confusion over his gender.  He figured that these things would work themselves out.

Still naked, he lulled on the mattress mimicking poses he had seen in a naked girlie magazine.  He pulled one leg up to his chest making his asshole, prominent. He imagined someone watching him.  He wondered, if they saw him,..would they get a hard-on?

The evening wore on and Josey became bored.  He had jerked off once and was considering doing it again but instead, he got dressed and went out.

~

When you live in a busy tourist area eventually you look passed the roaming tourists and just see the regular people that live there. Josey wandered along the sidewalk of the stars with names he didn't know.  There were homeless kids on the block and they would pan-handle and act up until the cops arrested one or moved them all out.  In a few days, they would all be back. 

"Hey, I seen you before, you live around here don't you."

Josey stopped and looked at the boy. He was just a few years older. He was dressed in ragged clothes that were spray painted with symbols of anarchy.  They were fixed with metal chains and clips hanging down.  He had blue hair and it was shaved all around as if by a bowl and one shark's tooth earring that dangled from his ear.

"You wanna hang out?"

Josey didn't really say anything. Instead he just fell into line. Soon he was in tow like he was a girl friend or something.

"Wait here, I'll be right back." 

Feeling stupid, Josey stood and waited.

When he returned, "Look what I got, you wanna go smoke it?"

He followed him to the back of an abandon building.

"What is your name, you never told me."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm Spike."

They sat together in a concealed alcove.  Spike lit up the joint and passed it to Josey."

"So where do you live?"

Josey inhaled the pot smoke. "Oh, I live near Sunset and Fairfax."

As Spike got high he became more animated. Josey was inexperienced and the pot put him into a state of mental paralysis.  Spike reached over and started fumbling with Josey's pants. 

When Josey contracted at the intrusion, Spike said,  "Hey, don't be a bitch, I know you're a boy. Don't worry, your secret is safe with me now give it up!"

Spike pulled Josey's small penis out and went down on him. 

"Come on, relax, you're missin out."

Josey's little cock just laid there like a caterpillar. Spike took out his own cock and began to jerk off over Josey. 

"Don't tell me you don't even suck dick?  What a gyp!"

Spike squirted his gloppy cum all over the front of Josey's Earth Day tee shirt.  Then shook out his dick, stood up and adjusted his ragged clothes.

He turned and looked back at Josey.  "Later dude."

Josey walked home.

To Be Continued

Please send comments to: to larkin@tutanota.com...And I will respond