Date: Tue, 16 Apr 2002 15:26:53 -0400 From: Tom Cup Subject: The Innocents by Richard Dean - Part 2 Chapter 5 Gay - A/Y Copyright 2000, 2001, 2002 by the Paratwa Partnership: A Colorado Corporation. All rights reserved. No part of this work may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic or mechanical, except in the case of reviews, without written permission from the Paratwa Partnership, Inc, 354 Plateau Drive, Florissant, CO 80816 This is a fictional story involving alternality sexual relationships. If this type of material offends you, please do not read any further. This material is intended for mature adult audiences. Names, characters, locations and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. ************** The Innocents By Tom Cup Part 2 Chapter 5 Paulo's Remembrance Continues: Atlantic Ocean 9 November 1990 Dearest Paulo and family: Three weeks to go until I am back into the safety and love of my family. Your letters mean so much to me. The little things which happen around our home are a lovely reminder that all is well in the capable hands of my dearest friend and companion. You continue to be my rock and source of inspiration, dear Paulo. I can see the blush come to your face as you read this, but I know it's true. I've witnessed your reaction when people around you compliment you on your stature, politeness, kindness and grace. I expect you redden even more as you have read the last sentence to the rest of our family. They and I know you and love you equally for your outstanding qualities with which you favor to us all. What a man! If only you knew how much you've enriched my life. Words fail me. You have never failed me. Toninho, I am so very proud of the gains you have made in your studies and love you more each day; so much that I feel my heart will burst. Can I love you any more than I do now? I expect so. Love begets love. Remember when you are in Paulo's embrace as he makes love to you, that I am there with you both. The seed you expend is the seed of the three of us. We share our love in act, deed, and movement. Both of you: There is no need to check to see if Gran is embarrassed. She is not, I can assure you. Gran and I have talked about this in great detail. She approves of our commitment wholly and unconditionally. Gran, what more can I say? One of the best things in my life occurred when you agreed to join our family. You have soothed, placated, tended us all in sickness and health, fed us, bathed us with dignity and grace. I, we, bow to you, our matriarch -- without whom we would be lost, foundering as three not terribly efficient fellows who knew not how to get out of the rain -- you are the cohesive glue that binds our family successfully. Our gratitude knows no bounds. Other than the favoritism of blood you have given Toninho -- the little brat -- we are like your sons, age notwithstanding. You are truly our Mother. We honor you, adore you, and love you. I believe our ship is nearing completion of this area, plotting and noting specific sites for which Petrobras will ultimately find fortune in locating gas/oil. We shall be moving our research vessel into waters off the coast from Santos, much closer to Rio. Paulo you have informed me that you have invited Beto to join our family during the Christmas and New Year holidays. You need not have asked my permission, although I do appreciate the advance notice. He will be a welcome guest. He too is loved by the family. Stay well and safe. I love you all, Toninho, Paulo, Gran. Beijos e abraços Ricardo ************ "Gran, I wasn't aware that you and Ricardo talked about our family arrangement." "You read his letters to us as if he were in this room, Paulo. Thank you. We may see all, but we don't tell all, my son. Toninho why are you weeping, aren't you happy your Pae will be coming home soon?" Wrapped in Gran's arms, Toninho looked up at her and said, "I'm happy Pae is coming back home soon, but I worry Paulo will be leaving us for Beto. I don't want that to happen, Gran." "Toninho, you can't predict the future. Don't waste your thoughts on that. At the moment, Paulo and Beto are friends, very close friends. We live in the present, baby. Make the most of that as it comes. Will you try to do that for us, sweetness?" "I'll try Gran," Toninho cried, "Paulo, how could you! I knew it! I knew it!" "Hold it, sailor," Paulo objected, "Who said anything about having outside interests? He is my friend, I admit. But Beto and I have never talked about anything serious. I admit, it enters my mind, but I am a part of this family. I will always be a part of this family. I would never abandon you, even if I did have a lover separate from us. I want you to understand this clearly. Do you?" "Ye-e-s-s-s-s. But...." "No buts. This family is the most important thing in my life. You. Gran. Ricardo. We are family. No matter where we are, or what we are doing; we will always be family. As far as I know no one is leaving. Are you?" "Welllll, I'll be going to school." "Yes you will. Does that mean you will be leaving the family? I think not! So don't get your shit in an uproar." "Paulo!" Gran frowned, "I will not have that kind of language in this house! Please apologize." "I apologize to you both." "Thank you dear. I understand why you said it. I don't appreciate the way you said it." "Yes ma'am," In a way Toninho was right. I did want something more. Beto seemed to be the catalyst. I could envision that we could be happy as a couple, but I was concerned how it would affect our family too. It would be a matter, I would have to talk to Ricardo and Gran about to get their separate opinions on how I could have both and still maintain our close relationship. For that matter, I needed to talk to Toninho and fill him in on my concerns, my thoughts, and my desires. I have a life too. We all have lives, I know, but I want to share my life with a special man, like Ricardo does with Toninho and myself on occasion. Wow! Ricardo sure knows how to write a letter. He uses all the right words, the feelings, and the honesty. I don't know if I can or will ever write like he does, but it's a good time to try to write Beto with more feeling. Somehow writing to him by e-mail doesn't seem the same as writing him in cursive actual penmanship. I've saved all of Ricardo's letters. My God, I love him. As much as Toninho, I expect; maybe in a different way. I don't know. I do know I love that man. And a man he is! ************ Saturday morning I awakened when I felt Toninho leave the bed and enter the bathroom. It was still dark. I glanced to look at the clock. It was nearly 5 a.m. What in the world is he up to? I wonder, as I see him by the night light, find his clothes and dress, he tiptoed out of the room, so as not to disturb. I got up and gave way with my morning piss. What a wonderful relief that is. It was then I had remembered my promise to take him to try to locate some of his street friends and acquaintances. I looked out the window and saw the light come on in the garage. I knew he would wash and wax his "Herbie" as if he were self-possessed. He could polish that car, then step back and sight a spot from a different angle; then stare at it once more to see if it had the gloss and shine that met his approval, before again applying more wax on an adjoining small spot and continue to his task. He's such a good kid, well young man actually, as he's nearly 15. He is as detail oriented as Ricardo I've noticed. Toninho will be a force to be reckoned with when he reaches his majority. I couldn't call him a perfectionist, but damned near to it. Ricardo I do call a perfectionist. For all of Ricardo's claims that he is a conservative, I've got news! He can crawl and grovel with the best of us. He isn't a pig to use that term, but he sure knows how to make a man feel he has been well fucked. I think Toninho will take after his Pae, in that respect too. I noticed last night that his body is changing. There is more tone and definition to his musculature. His abs are developing, his legs and thighs have more heft and meat to them; and his ass? Oh that sweet ass. I could lose myself trying to get my head up there. His musk is so special I have no way of describing it. He is scrupulously clean. It isn't that it wafts to my nostrils with a spice-like aroma. No, his is a boy/man smell that can melt steel and make cotton candy seem trite. I remember the day I first espied Toninho. A waif, a ragamuffin, soiled, dirty clothes that were in desperate need of a wash, if they didn't disintegrate by the weight of the water and soap. A spindly looking kid, under-nourished, that was certain. I was already shooing him away as if were an offensive fly, but Ricardo saw something in him that reached deeply within his soul. He stopped me, in that grand manner he unknowingly has, and bade the child to sit at his table. Ricardo looked to me with that baleful, soulful glazed look in his eyes, which commanded my immediate attention. Somehow I knew that kid would enter our lives in some way, manner or form. I had known Ricardo for about one year, and we talked and chatted. Through a matter of weeks we became friendly acquaintances. When he would enter the restaurant, he would sit in my section -- fill and light his pipe, write in his journal or read the newspaper -- and wait patiently until I came round. If I were not yet on duty, another waiter would come up to him, and Ricardo would graciously ask the waiter if he would be uncomfortable in allowing him to wait for his special waiter who knew every nuance to his tastes and choices. The new waiter would take no offense to him. Who would, with his impeccable manners and dress, and the formal Portuguese he used was that of a thespian? Not long after, when he would arrive, one or more of the waiters would yell over to me, "Paulo, your gentleman is here!" At first I was embarrassed but I soon felt gratified that the other waiters, owners and regular customers would greet him as if he were the King of Siam. This man reeked of class, manner and attitude. Not haughty, but gracious well bred and could castrate you with a smile. All the while you would thank him for that. We would meet after my shift was over and go to a few clubs where specific music was playing. He loved Jazz, the classical music of Heitor Vila-Lobos, the Bossa Nova of "Tom" Jobim, and a host of others. He was knowledgeable on every topic I could or would ever think of. He had traveled every continent of the world except Antarctica. He had a low sonorous voice in the baritone range that soothed and mesmerized. He would enunciate every word properly, correctly. I never heard him slur a word. No matter the venue, he would be greeted by owners or customers with effusive greetings. "Senhor Dean, how good of you to come, we are honored." Or, "Senhor Ricardo, a pleasure to see you again." With each greeting he would rise from his seat and shake hands with the greeter putting his other free hand over theirs, which solidified his genuine pleasure to them. I saw him once get up on stage of the singer, who asked him to join her in a rendition of "The Girl from Ipanema." He joined her and when it was his turn he sang like he was Tony Bennett. I was floored by his ease and control. A standing ovation resonated throughout the building. He gave a slight bow in acknowledgment, and returned to our table without pause, or embarrassment, at the pats on the back or words of congratulations. I have never heard him curse in public. Because of my association with him, I ended up having more customers who knew him and because of that our restaurant became more busy and successful. I have no doubt about that. Often when I would join him at his apartment, he would welcome me, as if he had not seen me for months, although he had dined at the restaurant earlier in the evening. He would lead me out to the patio and we would talk and chat about topics that interested me. He would only talk about the subjects of his profession if I would press him. I came to know and understand him. I fell in love with him. All that while I had not known he was gay or his orientation was other than heterosexual. I thought my gaydar was in good tune. I was wrong. He offered his apartment to share with him. I was flabbergasted and pleased, but told him I would never be able to afford such a place even if we split things fifty-fifty. He told me he was not interested in my money. My mind, companionship, and assistance in helping him with common Portuguese would suffice. After a short while, I asked him outright why he did not date women while he was in Rio. He told me it would not suit him well, especially as he was gay. His easy admission of his orientation, floored me. My gaydar did need re-tuning, it seemed. I admitted to him my love for him. He told me that he loved me too, but thought it would not serve either of us well. He asked that we mutually love each other in friendship before committing ourselves to a gay love affair. I agreed, but told him I was ready to jump his bones, at the first sign of his weakening. He laughed and agreed ************ Toninho bounded in with the announcement he would be ready as soon as he showered and changed clothes. By that time Gran had arisen and we could smell breakfast well to be nearly ready. It was 9 am. ************ To support these writings, visit http://www.tomcup.com