The Journal Of Aristides

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Author's note: The Journal Of Aristides is a work of fiction, indeed, fantasy. It has no setting in time or place your imagination may place it perhaps in Ancient Rome, the use of Greek and Latin style names may lead to that or you may think of it as being in an unidentified future where the mores of times long gone are once again the fashion. Wherever and whenever you imagine it to be set, my hope is that it provides enjoyment.



                                                                            The Journal Of Aristides


                                                                                   Book the Fourth


In the six months or so since I had become the adopted son of Claudius the Librarian and been gifted a slave by him in order to satisfy my natural needs, both little and much had occurred. By little, I mean that I remained living in the house of Claudius and did my exercise and training with the boys of the Household, my lessons continuing with the tutor Menedus. By much, I mean that some things had altered. I had grown some inches in height and a pleasing amount elsewhere. In concert with that particular development I had begun to sprout unseemly and disfiguring hair upon my body, a matter that concerned me much, for any signs of hair on the body rightly disgusts both men and boys.

That was a disfigurement easily corrected, the artisan employed by Claudius to cut and curl the hair on our heads was skilled also in the removal of hair from those places where its growth was most unseemly. Being but a boy of thirteen and a half, my rod was given to rising at many unbidden moments, and such a rising occurred when the artisan applied some substance to my rod and to my stones in preparation for the removal of the hair now growing there.

"Perfect, young sir," He smiled as I rose, "That makes it easier for me to remove every single hair."

I had no knowledge as to the truth of that, but he did indeed ensure that my young rod was well covered with the substance, and to my mind held both it and my stones, for far longer than was needed. I objected not to this for he was the first man to touch me there, and I must confess that I found it in no way unpleasant.

My slave, still less than ten years of age as witnessed by its Bill of Sale, found no difficulty in accepting the slightly larger size of my rod, indeed I had entered it so frequently by this time that it hardly seemed to notice the moment of penetration. It had also learned to use its mouth with some skill both on cock and when accepting tongue. At times it made noises that may indeed have been of pleasure, but that was of no concern to me, it was a slave, and whether it enjoyed its use or not made no difference to the manner or the frequency of its use.

It was now that I was treated to a further lesson in the importance that slavery can have both to the maintaining of the health and well-being of a citizen and to his function and performance as a mannered and proper person. That a citizen should be such a person is a self-evident fact, for all citizens have a role and function in the order and running of the Empire, and any man who behaves in an ill-mannered or improper way cannot fulfil his role and function in a manner that is of benefit to all. Indeed, should such a man hold office of importance, it follows that his actions, performed not properly and correctly, will have adverse affect upon others, and thus be a disruption to the ordered running of the Empire, be that large or small.

One aspect of that had already been demonstrated to me beyond any question. Prior to Claudius gifting me a slave, I had, following the departure of Romulus, been consumed with doubt and anxiety about the natural state of my person, and had become withdrawn and, I now realised, an anti-social being, prompting my fellows to call me unnatural and cock-hater. My studies and my training had suffered, but, knowing the cause of this malady, Claudius had arranged for the purchase of a slave, one that I was permitted to choose and thus, one that was suited to my needs and desires. My anxieties were such that I had found myself unable to approach boys in the Household and beg for the favours I needed, the memories of Romulus making me think that no other boy could give proper satisfaction to my rod. Menedus taught me to understand that what I thought of as the needs of my rod were, in reality, needs of the whole body and, indeed and more importantly, needs of the mind.

Thus, having been encouraged to purchase an item that both pleased my eye and excited my rod, I began my rehabilitation. That the item of my choice was but nine years of age was of no concern to any other, for use of flesh of that age is both proper and common. My fears, anxieties and frustrations drained away each time I entered it or used its mouth, and within a week I had returned to the former Aristides, a happy and mannered boy intent on his studies and his training.

That the ownership of a slave and the frequent use of it, removed from my person the frustrations of the body that had affected my mental state was beyond question, but now I was given a further lesson in the value of slaves.

"A disruption of the proper function of the mind," Claudius informed me, having taken the role of tutor for himself, such was the importance of what he would have me learn, "May come from the frustrations of the body, as you have learned, Aristides, but other matters may also disrupt the proper working of the mind and thus disrupt the proper function of the individual, All men," he told me, "Have weaknesses, and all men, you will agree, should recognise and understand such weaknesses."

This I understood, for it was a basis of all our teaching that one should strive always to achieve his best, be it in studies, training or games, and that an individual should only be satisfied and feel at one with themselves when they had so strived, be it they came first or last.

"Thus, Aristides, imagine a race. You would, naturally, wish to win that race, would you not?"

"I would indeed," I answered at once, for I competed always in the hope of winning.

"Just so," Claudius allowed himself a smile for he knew of my competitive nature, "But what if you did not win? Came a distant second?"

"Then I would feel disappointment, and resolve to train harder, to reduce the gap next time we ran, and, if possible, to win."

"You would not, perhaps, feel resentment, anger or jealousy?"

"Not so," I denied hotly, "For the boy who had beaten me would have shown himself to be the better runner, and that could not be a cause of anger or resentment in me."

"Imagine now," Claudius continued, "That you are a man in his early middle years, still able to compete in the sports you enjoy, but no longer able to win for you are past your prime and compete for pleasure only. You look behind you at shelves, shelves loaded with the trophies you won in earlier years. What then do you think?"

I thought some, for this was a harder question to answer, and I tried to imagine myself a man indeed in that position.

"I think," I said slowly, "That I would look upon those trophies with pride for they would be evidence of prowess I once had, and with some regret also that I would win no more. But not with anger or resentment, for age comes to all, it is a thing that cannot be altered."

"Imagine now," Claudius pushed me harder, "That the man who gazes on those trophies has risen, with maturity, to high office, that he is Keeper of the Archives."

"High office indeed," I smiled for it was a position second only to that of Claudius himself.

"Indeed so, and one you would not have achieved unless it be by merit alone."

That I knew was so, for in the Empire only the very best rise to such exalted position.

"Recently appointed to Keeper of the Records, is a man, younger than you, a man you have no liking for."

I nodded, but said, "Though I like him not, he would have risen to that status also by merit alone."

"Of course, but is a position inferior to the one you hold, is it not?"

"It is," I agreed, "A rank, perhaps two, below."

"Imagine now," Claudius continued, "That the position of Librarian itself becomes vacant, would not you, as highest in rank below and always having performed your office to the best of your abilities, have some expectation of succeeding to that post?"

"If I had performed my office well, given reason for nothing other than satisfaction to the Emperor and Members of the Council, I would indeed have such a hope."

"How will you feel, then," Claudius asked, "When you learn that the position of Librarian has been granted to the Keeper of the Records, a man younger than yourself, of less experience and rank, a man you have no liking for and he none for you?"

"I would feel anger, bitterness, jealousy and frustration at what I would perceive to be an injustice," I answered immediately, and indeed I knew I would so feel.

"Just so," Claudius agreed, but continued with his lesson. "Imagine now that you were appointed to be Librarian, you would have plans and ambitions for the betterment of the Library, would you not?

"I would indeed, many such plans."

"And how will you feel when the Emperor and Council reject all such plans?"

"Angry, bitter and frustrated once again," I had to confess.

"And your work would suffer as a consequence of this? You as a person would suffer also? And how do you deal with such feelings as those? Now, as a boy, when some minor matter moves you to temporary anger?"

I grinned for, being a boy, moments such as that were not rare.

"I kick or throw something," I confessed, "And then I fuck my slave."

"And when you have kicked or thrown something and fucked your slave," Claudius asked, "How then do you feel?"

"Recovered," I said without hesitation "For I have disposed of the anger."

"Men cannot easily dispose of those adverse emotions merely by kicking and throwing, they feel also a need to hurt, to inflict pain as they have been hurt and had pain inflicted upon them."

This I understood, a boy's anger is a fleeting thing, a man's would be far longer lasting.

"They may, perhaps assuage that anger and that hurt by becoming ill-mannered, paying less attention to their tasks."

That too I understood, for it is what I had done before Claudius gifted me a slave. "That, sir," I said, "Would not be to the good of the Empire or their fellow citizens."

"It would not, so it must be that there is another way to heal the anger and the hurt."

Claudius took me then into another room, and there, to my surprise, he had a slave fastened by its wrists with a chain that ran to a pulley on a roof beam and down again to a wheel with a handle.

"Imagine again that you feel great anger at some slight or injustice, an anger you cannot salve by throwing or kicking, you need to inflict pain, to make something hurt as you hurt. The mere turning of that wheel will cause that slave great discomfort when you hoist its feet from the ground. Will that be sufficient?"

"No sir." I thought back to the moment I began to assuage my own frustrations and hurt and entered my slave for the first time. It was not the act of entry alone that was a balm to my mind, but the scream from the slave that accompanied it. And the sobs that followed.

"I would need to make it scream," I said.

"Then do so," Claudius said, and handed me a thin cane, "Lift it from the ground and beat it till its screams take away your anger."

This I did, and not with care. I turned the wheel and hoisted the slave from the ground, where it writhed in some discomfort. Then I hit it with the cane, a wild, fierce slash to the side of its stomach that produced a gasp of pain and much writhing and twisting in its chains. Those reactions and the bright red line that bloomed on its flesh sent a surge of power though me, and I slashed again, lower this time, catching it on its thigh. It gasped again but did not scream and that angered me and I slashed again and again, not caring where I hit, until screams did come. They satisfied me some, but not enough, for I felt power now and needed to inflict hurt, so I chose now where I would hit and selected tender spots for my cane; under its arms, across its nipples, the inside of its thighs and finally its cock.

It screamed loud then and continued to scream for some time after I ceased, my anger drained, my mind whole again.

"Thus it is that slavery is essential to the well running of the Empire," Claudius said to me as we left the room, the slave sobbing now, its feet still off the ground. "What emotions felt you when you caned the slave?"

"Anger at first that it did not scream, and then pleasure that I could make it scream," I replied honestly, "Indeed, I enjoyed much beating it and hearing it scream."

"As did Romulus," Claudius smiled, "Indeed he took much pleasure in beating the arse of his slave and in fucking it only when it was shedding tears."

"That I have a mind to try," I grinned.

"Then do so," Claudius approved, "Menedus with furnish you with an instrument most suitable, one that will turn the arse of your slave a bright red."

I was delighted at the thought of that and said so, but there was another thing I wished to ask, though with some trepidation and shyness.

"You are aware, sir," I stumbled into what I wished to say, "That since the departure of Romulus I have found none to whom I wish to grant the third favour, yet much I miss the granting of it."

"It is natural for a boy to have a need for that," Claudius shrugged, "And not natural for a boy to go too long without. When Romulus had the need he borrowed one of my slaves. You do not grant a favour to a slave, you take what you need from it."

I understood at once what Claudius meant. I would not be permitting entry from behind from one I had no cares for, but satisfying a need my body had, just as I did when I used the mouth or arse of my slave. When you have an itch you scratch it, and, in the terms boys use with boys, my arse ached for cock.

Thus I begged to borrow the other slave of Claudius, and my wish granted, I retired with it to my room where it fucked me till my ache was gone and then I fucked my slave, an item that never knew that ache for it was fucked with great regularity.

I continued in like manner for a further two months, borrowing a slave from Claudius when the need was upon me, and using my own with undiminished enthusiasm and regularity, and, indeed, used regularly also the method of Romulus. Menedus furnished me with an instrument for such purpose, an instrument constructed of wood, no thicker than the width of my smallest finger and shaped much like the bats boys use to hit balls against a wall. This, I found, when applied to the arse of my slave, produced delightful sounds of pain and did make tears flow from its eyes in copious amounts, and that, truly, when its arse was a bright red in colour and the tears streamed from it, the fuck that I then enjoyed was most pleasurable indeed.

I know not why, but whenever I thus indulged myself, my cock did get most hard, though if this were because of the pain I was inflicting, the yells and screams, the tears, or the understanding that a most satisfactory fuck was to come, I know not. And, in truth, I care not; for it was a thing I enjoyed much and made me feel most happy and content.

Able thus to satisfy the needs both of my body and my mind, I became even more mannered and acceptable to others, so much so that I was approached by a boy of the Household some three years older than myself, while at exercise, and he began to court me in a most proper way.

Such was the manner and politeness of his courting that I came to understand that the favours I had bestowed so freely upon Romulus were not meant to be bestowed on him alone, and I began to long for Antonius, for such was his name, to beg those favours from me so that I could, once more, enter the proper world of a boy whose inclinations are most natural.

That I should be able to do this was, I understood, due entirely to the use of slaves, and I understood also the vital part that slaves play in the well-being of the Empire, for without them and the frequent use of them, how could any man be fit and clear enough in his mind to be able to fulfil his duties properly and to the best of his abilities?

It is no accident, as Menedus explained to me, that the letters that make the word `slave' make also the word `salve', for truly, the use of a slave is a salve and balm to the mind, for it eases the frustrations and improper emotions of the mind when it is used in such a manner.

Antonius, after a week or two of most polite courting, did indeed ask of me if I might be of a mind to grant favours to him, and when I said, with no reluctance, that such was the case, he asked, with mannered consideration for me, which favours I would deem it proper for him to request, for he did not wish me to think him improper by requesting a favour I had no wish to grant.

Much taken by his manner and consideration for me, I informed him that I would find no offence in his requesting what favours he would, but that, if he minded not, I would have a preference of beginning with the favours of the hand and mouth, and, if he thought it not too forward of me, that I would like it much should he wish to bestow like favours upon me.

When he said that he was of a like mind to mine and wanted much that the bestowing of favours should be done by both, I wondered if, all having been done in such a proper and mannered way, we should now use the language of boys in our courting.

He smiled at that and said that he thought I knew well that he much desired to fuck me, and I said that, after a few times of having our cocks in each other's hands and mouths and after a deal of most improper kissing, my arse would welcome the attentions of his cock and that I hoped he would fuck me often.

That he did and I enjoyed it much and found no further need to borrow a slave from Claudius, though, since custom prevents a boy from fucking one older than himself, I vented my own cock's needs in the arse of my slave with much frequency and vigour.

I thought then, that should I become Emperor a thought I had as a dream as boys do, and not as a conceivable possibility that I would endeavour to change that custom, for much I wished to plunge my cock between the muscular cheeks of Antonius' arse. I had a preference still for the flesh of boys younger than myself and begged still the favours of their pretty mouths and little hands, a matter Antonius thought most proper, and indeed, he encouraged me to request also the third favour from them, for many, he said there were who would grant that to me with great eagerness.

And so it proved, for the very first I did so beg, granted with no hesitation, and I fucked the first of many of the youngest boys of the Household.

Thus, content as a boy of natural tastes could be, and shortly before my next birthday, my fourteenth, I found myself the object of men's courting.

This gave rise to a problem in my mind, one that I discussed with Menedus, and discussed it not in formal language.

"Much I like the hands and mouth of Antonius upon my body, and the use of my hands and mouth on him," I began, "And much I like also the hands and mouths of younger boys upon me for having my cock in the mouth of a boy of ten years is a great delight to me, surpassed only by having my cock in his arse."

"Is not this natural?" Menedus enquired of me, "Do not all men and boys enjoy the bodies of those younger than themselves? Do not many men, and some of the highest in the Empire, have a great liking for fucking young boys? Do not many own slaves of years less than ten for just that purpose?"

"They do, and it is by no means unnatural," I agreed, "But also I have great liking for kissing, wanking and sucking with Antonius, as I did with Romulus, and for him fucking me as well."

"And is this not also natural?" Menedus enquired, "For a boy to desire one older than himself to take enjoyment from his young flesh?"

With that I also did agree, for it is indeed most natural for a boy to desire to be used by one older than himself.

"Men now begin to court me," I continued, "And I find not their courting to be in any way disagreeable to me."

"And is not this the most natural thing of all?" Menedus asked, "For a boy to wish to give himself to a man and be used for that man's pleasure?"

"Indeed so," I enthused, for that was, indeed, the natural order of things, a thing designed by Nature itself, the perfect harmony between the desires of men and the needs of boys. "What man is there who does not desire a boy for his bed, and what boy is there who does not long to be in the bed of a man, unless he be of unnatural tastes?"

"Of which, you are not one," Menedus declared with a smile. "What then, is your problem?"

"Is it proper, mannered behaviour, for me to long for a man to enjoy me, and, at the same time, to wish to continue the pleasures that Antinous gives me and also to fuck boys of ten years?"

"Do you wish to share the bed of a man for the pleasure and satisfaction that will give you both, or do you desire to take a man for your lover, live with him and give yourself to him day and night?"

"That may happen," I said truthfully, "But now I wish to learn of the pleasure of being in a man's bed, to have a man's cock in me."

"The cocks of more men than one," Menedus said, "The first cock may not be one you wish to have in you to the exclusion of all others."

"I wish for more than one," I said hotly, "Just as I wish for more than one arse of boy."

"Then take care you do not fall in love," Menedus smiled, "For the loss of love or loved one can have unfortunate effects."

"That I know," I smiled ruefully, for I had suffered those effects and been cured of them only by the use of slaves.

"Then my advice to you is that you should fuck as many young boys as will grant you the favour of allowing you to use their arses, that you should get yourself fucked by as many men as you choose, provided always that they first present themselves to Claudius and beg, in a proper and mannered way, to court you for their beds, and enjoy Antonius while you may, for soon, I suspect, you will grow too old for his liking."

This was a thing I understood also, for while I may have a longing for the arse of a boy of ten, by the time he neared the age of eleven he had little appeal for me.

"And, while we talk of growing too old, is not your slave now past the age where you can enjoy it properly?"

This was true, for it was now well into its eleventh year and had not the same appeal as when it was purchased.

"Then it should be exchanged for something younger," Menedus said and that did indeed happen. A second visit to the slave market and the purchase of an item of not quite nine years, though I selected one with the same white skin and pale hair as before, and once again delighted in the screams of a slave fucked for the first time.