Date: Wed, 20 Aug 2003 21:22:51 -0500 From: Rhaven Subject: The Long Road Chapter Seven This story contains strong language and sexual content between boy/man. For more stories and poems, please visit: www.rhavenlore.com CHAPTER SEVEN Jeremy stood at the sink looking down at the bowls. He knew he was being foolish, paranoid. However, he couldn't shake the feeling that their love was wrong. Was it the ignorance of the world that fed Jeremy's fears that made him doubt this wonderful feeling? He felt confused and empty. Even angry, not with Bram but of his own self. Who can put boundaries on love? Jeremy combated with his conscious and that structured thought that of 'normal' society had forced on him. He laughed at the thought of 'normal' society. From his experience, no one was normal. Normal was a pseudo idea created by abnormal men with penis envy. "What are you doing?" Bram walked up behind Jeremy and wrapped his arms around his waist. "I was just. just thinking." Jeremy tried to sound positive. "So was I." Bram said pressing his lips to Jeremy's back. "I can't stand being away from you." Jeremy sighed, feeling his mind go numb. "Is love enough?" He whispered to himself, suddenly freezing when he realized that Bram had heard him. "Love is everything." Bram whispered back, moving his hands gently over Jeremy's bare stomach. "The greatest thing is to love. and to be loved." Jeremy broke down, tears flooded from his eyes. He fell to his knees unable to bear the emotions pouring out of him. "Bram. oh my sweet Bram. I . I do love you." "And I love you; I love you so much I can't stand it." Bram said with tears streaking down his cheeks. Jeremy turned around, grabbed up the boy, and held him tightly in his arms. They kissed each other with a passion no poet could depict, no song could equal. All of Jeremy's doubts and worries vanished as he held the boy close to him. They looked at each other, without saying a word, they communicated, they shared more in that glance than any book could educate. With shaking hands, Jeremy unbuttoned and removed Bram's Pajama top. Bram eagerly pulled at Jeremy's boxers, as Jeremy did the same with Bram's pajama bottoms. Once they both were naked, they paused leisurely savoring the glory of their purity. Jeremy lay back on the cold tile floor and pulled Bram on top of him. They warmed each other with their bodies, exhilarated by that magical connection of skin against skin. Jeremy breathed in Bram's beauty, he relished in their sharing of heartbeats. A moment frozen in time, a kiss to last forever. Jeremy moaned loudly as Bram began massaging his erection. It was an awkward attempt by the youth, but his gentle touch, magically danced over his penis. Orgasm came quickly, Bram's touch a thrill of efficiency. Jeremy exhaled heavily and kissed Bram again. Jeremy wasn't sure how long they continued on the kitchen floor, but in the end they were both exhausted and covered in sweat. "You okay?" Jeremy asked lifted the boy to his feet. "I am wonderful." Bram grinned. They hugged again; Jeremy ran his hands down the boy's bare back, loving the gentle curves, the softness of his skin. "I have to be the luckiest man in the world." Jeremy whispered. "The sweatiest maybe." Bram giggled. "Bath time?" "Oh yeah, bath time!" Bram's smiled lit the room. They headed up stairs and to the bathtub. The water felt wonderful, but not as wonderful as Bram sitting in the tub with him. Jeremy enjoyed himself immensely as he shampooed the boy's hair. It had always been a personal fantasy. Now a reality. "It's going to be hard when Maggie and Nancy return." Bram said as he spat out shampoo from his mouth. "What's going to be hard?" Jeremy asked without really listening. "I don't know if I can keep my hands off you. and I want your hands on me at all time." Bram splashed water in his face to wash away the suds that continually slipped into his mouth. "Don't think Maggie would look fondly on us making out on her nice clean kitchen floor." Jeremy laughed. "No I don't guess she would." They finished bathing with Jeremy stepping out of the tub first. He grabbed a towel for Bram and then one for himself. "What sounds like fun today? Swimming? TV? Maybe a walk through the woods?" Bram wrapped the towel around his waist and looked up at Jeremy. "What 's the deal with 'outside'? That's all you ever want to do?" Jeremy shrugged his shoulders and followed Bram into the living room. "I love the outdoors, I always have. I guess it's because I felt so free outside. Never had many friends and my parents demanded complete silence, so outside was where I could feel free." The boy fell onto the couch with a bounce, almost losing his towel in the process. "I'm tired of going outside." Bram said pulling off his awkwardly twisted towel. "Then what do you want to do?" Jeremy asked taking a seat next to the nude boy. "I want to sit here with you all day." Bram swung his legs up and into Jeremy's lap. "Nude? Or are you planning to get dressed anytime soon?" Jeremy ran his hand over the boy's leg. "No, I don't want to wear clothes ever again." Jeremy laughed and slapped Bram on the stomach. "Now I would like that, but I think Maggie would argue with that thought." Jeremy continued to rub his hand across the boy's thin leg as Bram grabbed the TV remote. They sat there in silence as Bram surfed channels, finally stopping once again on the Cartoon Channel. Jeremy rolled his eyes at the thought of spending all day watching Yogi Bear, but he decided not to say anything. They stayed on the couch for several hours, watching Yogi after Yogi. Bram giggled the entire time. It was during the fourth hour of Yogi Bear when Jeremy broke. Not your average bear, my ass, he thought. "Okay, get dressed we're going outside." Jeremy pushed Bram's legs off him and stood. "I don't want to go outside." Bram pulled himself up and folded his arms defiantly. That 'old man' look painted across Bram's face reappeared, but Jeremy didn't care, he was sick of sitting and very sick of Yogi. "We're not sitting here all day and watching. this!" Jeremy pointed to the TV. "Come on, we'll have fun." He smiled hoping the boy would see his point. "I'm .I."Bram shook his head and almost smiled. "Okay, but you owe me for this." Bram stood up, still looking angry. Jeremy grinned as the boy stomped his way out of the room. "What a hand full." Jeremy said to himself with a shake of his head, he hoped Bram wasn't too upset. Jeremy should have been happy sitting there with Bram, but he couldn't. He had never been able to be still for too long, a legacy from his parents. Once they were both dressed, Jeremy lead the boy out into the yard. The sun felt wonderful on his face, the wind renewed his strength, Jeremy couldn't understand why Bram hated the outdoors so much. It was paradise out here, how could anyone hate that? They found themselves back to the familiar spot by the creek. Once reaching the shade, Bram sat down still refusing to enjoy himself. "I'm not going in the creek again." Jeremy looked at the cool water and then back to the boy. "We can sit here for a while." He finally agreed. "I hate it out here you know." Bram growled, pouting out his lip. "Do you now? I would have never guessed." Jeremy scooted closer to the boy. "I am reborn by being outside." He started unbuttoning Bram's shirt. "Kind of hot out here." Bram continued to pout, even as Jeremy slipped off his shirt. "We could have done this inside you know." Bram said looking back at the house. "Yes we could have, but it's much more enjoyable out here." Jeremy said with a smile. He kissed Bram's neck passionately, letting his hand play across the boy's chest until he reached the zipper of his shorts. "You make me get dressed only to undress me outside? Can't we go inside to finish this?" Bram lifted himself off the ground so Jeremy could pull off his shorts. "In a few minutes." Jeremy whispered bending down to kiss Bram's erection. "What if someone sees us?" Bram looked again toward the house. "We're safe out here." Jeremy said confidently and then slipped Bram's penis into his mouth. The boy moaned, running his fingers through Jeremy's hair. "Could. could we PLEASE go inside?" Bram begged. "Jeremy? Jeremy, please?" Bram finally pushed Jeremy off him and stood. He grabbed up his clothes and stepped away. "I can't do this out here. I just can't!" Jeremy watched in shock as Bram pulled on his shorts and raced to the house. He was too surprised to move, everything had been going so perfect and now this. Why did Bram hate the outside so much? Or was it something he had done? Jeremy cursed himself and walked down to the creek, looking down at the reflection in the rippling water. Who was that person in that reflection? Was it a villain, a hero or perhaps a monster? He stayed outside for a while walking around and wondering what he should do. The day was slipping away, surrendering to night when he finally got enough courage to go inside. He found Bram sitting on his couch watching TV. Jeremy stood behind the couch and watched Bram for several minutes. That familiar feeling of guilt flooded over him. He needed to talk to Bram, but he was so scared of what Bram was going to say. "Bram." He finally managed to speak. "I'm sorry." Jeremy sat down next to the boy. "I can't say I understand any of this, but I shouldn't have forced you like that." Bram remained silent, as if Jeremy hadn't spoken. Jeremy sat there, not daring to take his eyes off the boy. What could he say that would change all this? After several attempts to speak again and failing, Jeremy finally stood and headed downstairs. Bram had not once, but several times told him how much he hated the outside. Though he couldn 't comprehend, he should have been more understanding. Jeremy had to let his hormones take control and ignore the boy's protest. How could he have forgotten how delicate Bram was? "I'm a fucking idiot." Jeremy cleaned up the kitchen and suddenly realized he was hungry. If he was hungry then so was Bram. Even a delicate pissed off boy needed to eat. Jeremy found a casserole Maggie had prepared for them. He warmed it up in the microwave and put two plates on a tray. Bram hadn't moved and didn't move when Bram offered him a plate. "You have to eat." Jeremy insisted. Bram reluctantly took the plate. "Bram I really am sorry." "I feel dirty." Bram finally said. Jeremy's heart fell; he had forced himself on the boy, he had used the boy to fulfill his horrible lust. He was a monster. "I probably have bugs crawling all over me." Bram continued. "You still owe me for going outside." Jeremy laughed realizing what Bram meant. He wasn't dirty because of what they had done, he was dirty because he had been outside. "I'm home." Maggie announced as she entered the room. "Did you two have fun all alone?" Bram returned to pouting, Jeremy quickly smiled to cover up his disappointment. "We had a wonderful time and you?" "Couldn't wait to come home. Now I know why I don't visit my sister more often. So did you do anything exciting?" Jeremy cleared his throat. "We entertained each other." Bram laughed at this. It was nice to hear that laughter, Jeremy sighed absorbing that wonderful noise. "Sounds like you had a good time." Maggie said arching her eyebrow. "Well I'm going to go unpack and head to bed. Good night." "Good night Maggie, glad you're back." Jeremy said. He waited until he was sure the woman had returned to the first floor before relaxing back into the couch. "Great, the old bat is back." Moaned Bram. "Bram!" Jeremy laughed. "Maggie's not an old bat." But he could see the boy was even more depressed than before. "It doesn't change anything with her being here. We just have to be a little more careful. Think of it as an adventure. But that will have to wait until later." Jeremy stood up and stretched. "Time for bed, I believe someone has school tomorrow." "But it's still early." Bram protested, throwing his arms up in the air. "Yes, but you didn't get much sleep last night." Jeremy said ignoring the boy's protest. "All right, whatever." Bram frowned and stomped out of the room. Jeremy loved this boy, but after a day of roller coaster emotions, he was glad the day was over. He turned off the television and walked into his bedroom. For a brief moment, Jeremy considered painting as he glanced over at the easel. Before he had come to the Brice home, all he had thought about was painting again, to create something wonderful. Now, it just didn't seem that important, there were more ways of creating beauty. Jeremy walked around his room for a few minutes, finding that he loved everything about this place. No longer was it the forbidden home, he saw it as his home now. Jeremy undressed and climbed into bed. He wasn 't sleepy, but felt it only fair since he had sent Bram to bed. No matter how hard Jeremy tried, sleep evaded him. He rolled, kicked madly at the smothering blankets and stared at the ceiling until He that he was about to go insane. Jeremy was about to give up and get out of bed when Bram appeared at the door. "Can I sleep with you?" The boy said barely above a whisper. "What's wrong?" Jeremy patted the empty side of his bed. "I just didn't feel like sleeping alone." Bram said as he dived onto the bed. Jeremy pulled the covers over the boy and lay back. "Well get some sleep." Jeremy said giving Bram a quick kiss. It felt good to have the boy sleeping next to him. He fluffed up his pillow and closed his eyes. "Jeremy?" "Yes?" Jeremy chuckled, not bothering to open his eyes. "I'm really not crazy you know." Bram whispered. Jeremy sat up and looked over at the boy. "What are you talking about?" "I just didn't want you to think I was. crazy." Jeremy shook his head and scooted closer to Bram. "Sweetheart, I don't think you're crazy. Why would you say something like that?" Bram rolled over to face Jeremy; he hugged the pillow close to him. "I just feel that most people see me as being weird." "There isn't a weird bone in your body." Jeremy said as he patted Bram on the shoulder. "The truth be told, I've never met a normal person. Normal is.boring." "Today. when we were outside. I kind of freaked." Bram said ignoring what Jeremy was saying. "I didn't want you to think it was your fault." "What happened?" Jeremy whispered, finally daring to ask the question he'd been wanting to ask for a long time. Bram shifted nervously, avoiding making eye contact with Jeremy. "I don't want you to hate me." Bram whispered back. "There is nothing you can say that would make me hate you Bram." Jeremy reassured. Bram shifted again, moving away from Jeremy as he collected his thoughts. "I. I killed my mother."