Date: Mon, 25 Aug 2003 18:36:53 -0500 From: Rhaven Subject: The Long Road Chapter Eight This story contains strong language and sexual content between boy/man. For more stories and poems, please visit: www.rhavenlore.com CHAPTER EIGHT Jeremy had asked the question and gotten an answer that he couldn't, wouldn't accept. He wasn't sure how long he had been silent, how long he had stared blankly at Bram. Jeremy forced himself not to react. He thought over what Bram had just said, but it still wouldn't sink it. Jeremy couldn't believe, no matter what Bram said, that he could have killed his mother. He wasn't a murderer. "Bram." Jeremy began and quickly cleared his throat. "I. what happened to your mother was an accident." Jeremy finally managed to say. He recalled what Maggie had told him, 'a horrible accident' she had said. "You don't know what happened. how can you say it was only an accident?" Bram almost screamed. "You weren't there, no one was there!" "Hey!" Jeremy said calmly. "Then tell me what happened, I'm here for you Bram, I'm here to help." Bram sat up on the side of the bed. Jeremy couldn't tell if the boy was going to run off or was just thinking. He carefully moved closer to him and put his hands on Bram's thin shoulders. "My dad hired you." Bram whispered in a weak voice. Jeremy arched an eyebrow and moved even closer. "Yes, your dad hired me. What does that have to do with anything?" Bram shook his head slowly, mumbling to himself. "Bram, talk to me." Jeremy squeezed the boy's shoulders to let him know he was still there. "I'm such a fool." Bram said slowly. "The last nanny my father hired tried her best to seduce me, my father's idea of controlling me. He couldn't manage my life long distance. so he hired someone to direct me, to make me happy. So. so he could have a clean conscious" Bram started crying. " He hired her and he hired you." "I don't understand." Jeremy said slowly not liking how Bram sounded. "Sure you do." Bram said flatly. "And now so do I." Bram started heading for the door, but Jeremy jumped out of bed and stopped him. "Wait a minute Bram! Wait a damn minute. Are you accusing me of manipulating you? Do you really think I seduced you, because you're father wanted me too?" Jeremy couldn't believe what was happening. One minute they had been calmly talking, what was happening? Bram rushed passed and ran from the room. Jeremy quickly followed. "Talk to me Bram! You can't seriously think I was using you." Bram stopped and looked back at Jeremy. There was so much hate in his eyes that Jeremy backed away, Bram wasn't looking at him, he was looking at a stranger and that scared Jeremy. "I trusted you." Spat Bram. "Bram, please." Jeremy stood stunned as the boy ran to his room. He couldn't believe what had just happened. Bram confessed of murdering his mother and then went psycho. Some how, Bram had convinced himself that Jeremy was nothing more than a slave of Mr. Brice. He thought about rushing into Bram's room and confronting the boy. He knew he should, but his mind had turned to mush. Jeremy wondered for a moment if indeed he was a pawn in Mr. Brice's parental game. Had the man done his research so well as to discover Jeremy's innermost desires? Everything was crashing down around him, his stomach churned and rolled, he just wished someone could come and save him. Jeremy sat up the rest of the night, hoping that Bram would return to him. As morning dawned, Jeremy's heart sank lower. Bram had not returned and Jeremy was beginning to believe he never would. He reluctantly headed downstairs and met Maggie in the kitchen. It wasn't something he wanted to do, how was he going to explain all this to Maggie? But he had to see the woman, he had to discover the truth, no matter how harsh it was. "Good morning!" Maggie said cheerfully, placing a cup of coffee in front of Jeremy. "Did you sleep well?" "No." Jeremy said plainly, shocking the woman with his negative response. "Tell me Maggie. did you decide to take the weekend off or did Mr. Brice tell you to?" Maggie frowned and sat down at the table. "What's going on Mr. Roberts?" She said staring intently at Jeremy. "Did he tell you to leave?" Maggie cleared her throat and looked down at her hands. "Mr. Brice suggested it, but I don't understand why you would need to know that." Jeremy shook his head and wanted to cry, it was all a game, they were all puppets. Mr. Brice had known of his passion for painting, Jeremy should have seen this manipulation, how could he have been so controlled? It still seemed impossible, he didn't want to believe what he was thinking. He tried so hard to remember that his love and the love Bram had shown him was true and pure. "Tell me how Mrs. Brice died." "Mr. Roberts, I don't think that's something we talk about at breakfast." Maggie stood, but Jeremy slammed his fist on the table. "Tell me damn it! You know what happened don't you?" "No need to get angry." Maggie unenthusiastically sat back down. "It was five years ago." She began, though Jeremy could tell she didn't want to talk about this. ".this had been the family home then, so full of live. You couldn't have found a happier family. I have to say I wasn't pleased at how spoiled Bram was, one moment Bram would be our little angel and the next, flopping around on the floor in one of his tantrums. I never knew what kind of mood he would be in, it changed quicker than the time." Maggie managed to laugh, despite her sad look. Maggie looked past Jeremy, obviously seeing imagines that no longer existed. "Bram was in a foul mood that day. wanting nothing but to play outside." "Outside?" Jeremy said surprised. "But Mrs. Brice insisted he come in, we were having guest for dinner.funny, I can't remember who was arriving." Maggie stopped to reflect on her memories, but seeing Jeremy's impatience continued. "I had chased Bram from one end of this house to the other, but the boy refused to take a bath. I remember how frustrated Mrs. Brice, it was rare for her to lose her temper, she was such a gentle woman. too gentle perhaps. She took over the chase. oh lord, if I had only caught him. If only I hadn't been so damn slow." Jeremy reached over and patted Maggie's hand. "Go ahead Maggie. tell me what happened." "Bram. "Maggie began again. "Ran out back and Mrs. Brice was close on his heels. I didn't witness the accident. There was only one witness to what happen and he's never talked about it." Maggie sniffed back a tear and looked up at the ceiling. "Apparently Mrs. Brice had tripped on the steps and fell. she hit her head on the side of the fountain." The old woman stood, pacing the kitchen slowly, trying her best not to picture the horrid image of the past. "The doctor said that she died almost instantly from the impact. It was several minutes before I found her. with Bram standing over her. What does it do to a boy, seeing his mother die right before his eyes? I wonder how different things would be, if only. if only Mr. Brice. hadn't." "Hadn't blamed Bram for her death." Jeremy finished for Maggie, she nodded and wiped the tears from her eyes. Jeremy stood and gave Maggie a tight hug. "Thank you Maggie. I'm sorry for asking you to relive that, but I had to know." "He needs you Mr. Roberts. It's not right for a child to grow up without love." "I just hope." Jeremy swallowed hard. "I just hope I can break down those walls Bram has surrounded himself with." He headed upstairs and into his room. All these thoughts raced through his mind, what could he say to the boy who blamed himself for his mother's death? A boy who wanted his father's love, only to be betrayed with deceit. How could he prove that he was in love with Bram? He sat at his desk all day waiting for Bram to show up, but he never did. Finally, he found himself at Bram's door. He knocked gently. "Bram. Bram can we talk?" "I have nothing to say to you." The boy yelled from the other side of the door. Jeremy knew there was no way he could force Bram into talking, he just hoped that the anger Bram was feeling would subside and then they could talk. Time healed all wounds or that's what they say. Bram would suffer from this pain forever; Jeremy knew this, because he too suffered from his parent's ignorance. Friday arrived; it had been the longest and loneliest week in Jeremy's life. Jeremy couldn't count how many attempts he had made to talk with Bram, but the boy refused. . Bram would have nothing to do with him, he had made up his mind and nothing Jeremy could say was going to change that. Jeremy was stubborn, but a time comes when even the strongest must surrender. That night Jeremy packed his suitcase. As Saturday arrived, Jeremy found himself at the front door with his suitcase and Maggie standing next to him. "Are you sure about this Mr. Roberts?" "What choice do I have Maggie? I can't help Bram if he hates me. He.he won't even talk to me." "At least, go say goodbye." She said pushing him towards the stairs. "I'll give it a try." Jeremy slowly and headed up the stair. It almost felt as if he was walking to the electric chair, the truth was, he'd rather die than be rejected by Bram once again. The dread of defeat flooded over him and washed away all his strength, Jeremy commanded himself not to cry, though he knew it was a hollow order. He inhaled deeply as he stared at the boy's door. "Bram. I. I'm leaving. I just. I just wanted to tell you, that I wasn' t sent here to manipulate you or anything. When I first arrived, I . I wasn't sure what I was getting myself into, I had convinced myself that I would hate it here." Jeremy sniffed back a tear, but continued. "Then I met you and that love I felt. that I still feel. it renewed me, I have never felt so alive as I did when I was with you. All I ever wanted was to see you happy. and I'm sorry if I failed in that or caused you pain." Jeremy inhaled deeply again, the sadness he felt was overwhelming, all he wanted to do was take Bram in his arms and hug him for eternity. However, something had happened, something had gone wrong, chaos had sliced into this utopia and there was no way of fixing it. "Goodbye Bram. I. I love you." Jeremy didn't wait for a reply, he couldn't bare hearing only silence. He walked back downstairs, gave Maggie a quick kiss and headed outside. His suitcase seemed to weigh a ton as he walked to the driveway. The taxi hadn't arrived yet, but he couldn't stand to be in the house any longer and he couldn't look back, he knew if he did, he' d have no strength to leave. Jeremy walked outside, sat down on the front steps, and started to cry. He heard the front door open, but didn't turn around. Probably Maggie with a cup of coffee, he thought. "Jeremy?" Jeremy stood up quickly and turned around. Bram was walking towards him and crying. "Jeremy, please don't leave me. I don't want to be alone anymore. I love you so much. Please. please don't leave me." Jeremy swept up the boy into his arms and hugged him tightly. "I'm not going anywhere. I can't leave you; you are my heart and my soul." THE LONG ROAD WE TRAVEL ALONE IT IS AN UNTHINKABLE QUEST OF INNER PAIN AND NO REST BUT HAND IN HAND/MAN AND BOY O' WHAT AN ADVENTURE/O' WHAT A JOY THE LONG ROAD WE TRAVEL TOGETHER UNITED AND ONE UNTIL THE OUR TIME IS DONE WITH EACH OTHER WE WILL ENDURE LOVE; SO SIMPLE AND PURE THE LONG ROAD WE TRAVEL WALKING; US TWO OUR JOURNEY IS TRUE THE END For Now.To be Continued