I think most of the stuff you talk about in your stories is stuff Dad did at one point or another. Pissing outdoors, needing to wash my clothes, needing to "make sure I was okay down there." Or sometimes just walking in when I was in the shower or whatever. But honestly I think he really liked the process of encouraging me to undress, and watching. Some of the phrases you use in your writing were really familiar too. "Underpants off too, Jeremy" was something I heard a lot. And "It's just guys," of course. That was a big one.
He was really into sex talk. He always kinda tried to make it seem educational, but was always wanting to talk to me in lots of detail about "my changing body" and stuff like that. And always wanted me to verbalize too – like when I was shy during those talks he would kinda stop me and make me start over, using all the words he wanted me to use.
He was a showoff too. He was going naked a lot during that whole period – walking around while he was toweling off, showering and changing with the door open, just being generally "casual" about being naked. And would talk about that too – "It's okay to be curious about my adult penis, you don't have to look away." Stuff like that.
I still think about it all a lot obviously.
Did his behavior extend to public places also?Yes, he made it clear that showering wasn't optional when swimming at the Y, and that that meant showering without a swimsuit like some guys did.
At what ages did you experience it most intensely?It definitely started intensifying when I was around 11/12.
What's your earliest memory of him getting you naked, or being naked with you, that you started to realize wasn't so typical?Hmmmm, that's an interesting question. I remember being naked some when I was really little, although I think that was in a more "normal" way. I think the first time when I was older was when I was probably like 11, and I walked by Dad's door while he was "getting dressed." His bedroom door was open and he was casually toweling off, and as soon as I walked by he started talking to me about normal stuff – not about sex, but like, about homework or school or something – but kept toweling off while he talked – really showing off when I look back on it.
Was he erect?No, although thinking about it now I'm sure he was semi, but still hanging soft. But I remember at a certain point he kinda smiled and said like, "You know, you don't need to be shy about looking at my penis. It's normal to be curious especially as you're getting older. And being naked around each other is no big deal you know – it's just a guy thing."
You said he took you to the YMCA as well... when did that start?Probably a few months before I turned 12. I know that I was already getting hair and stuff when he started taking me since I was kind of self conscious of it.
Interesting that there wasn't anything notable before then. I would have thought it would have made things easier to be working on you from an earlier age.Yeah. In my Dad's case I think he was pretty focused on puberty. Might have been when he really started exploring it at all, you know?
How did you respond when he said it was ok to look?I was super embarrassed, because it meant that he had noticed me looking. Blushed really hard, probably started stuttering a little bit and kinda left as soon as I could, but then thought about it a lot later. Like a lot haha.
Masturbated to it?Kinda. At that point I wasn't exactly masturbating yet, but would get hard and kinda grind against something or whatever. But yeah, eventually I masturbated thinking about it, without really knowing what I was doing or why.
What's the next event that you recall?Not exactly an event but the next stage, before the Y, was like him finding ways to see me naked. I mean, he'd seen me occasionally before that probably, but that was the point that I realize now he really started doing it in an intentional, thought-out way.
How would he do it?Was kind of situational, but some of the same stuff from your story – took me hiking and pissed with me, encouraged me to take my clothes off while he watched after yard work so he could wash them. He would come up with excuses to come into the bathroom while I was in the shower.
Is there one time in particular that stands out, where he seemed insistent in a way that struck you?I guess the time after the yard work was probably the least slick – there was really no reason not for me to take them off in my room and then change into other clothes. And he even said something like, "It's good for me to get a sense of how you're growing up."
So it went beyond the utilitarian reason.Yeah, exactly.
You knew he wanted to see your penis.Yes, although I didn't get that it was because he was a perv.
That must have made it much more intense. How much did he have to prod you to get you fully naked?It's funny, there's one phrase he used several times that has definitely stuck with me. Just a little thing really but when I would hesitate about the last step of taking off my underwear. His tone kinda changing, sort of gentle and firm at the same time: "Underpants too, Jeremy."
Did you ever push back at that?The first couple of times at the Y, yes. Because it was even more intense because there were other guys around and because I knew I'd get an erection.
At the Y you knew you'd have to take them off to put on a bathing suit, yes?Right, but that you can do really quickly, just like slide them off and on. This was so we could shower before swimming, which was technically a rule that they had posted but I don't think people really did it usually.
You mentioned he insisted on that being naked, as opposed to showering in your swim suit.Yes, although plenty of people did shower naked, so that part wasn't all that unusual.
The first time he used that phrase with you ("Underpants too"), was it the yard work?I can't remember if he used it that time, but he definitely might have. I know he said something like, "Don't worry, you don't have anything I haven't seen before." Which looking back I always thought, was kind of silly.
When's the first time you clearly remember?The Y is the first time I definitely remember him using that phrase, but I bet he'd used it before and I just put them all together in my head.
The "don't worry" line is a variant of "we're all guys."Yes, and he used that one for sure too, or some combination. I mean, it's like, "I know you've seen a dick before, but it's different cause it's MINE," you know?
When you undressed at the Y, you got erections?Usually, yes. Not like a sustained erection usually, because it made me so nervous, but it definitely came and went.
Did he comment there? How did you deal with it?Honestly it's kind of surprising to me that some of the other men at the Y didn't get suspicious. He had mentioned it before the first time we went. "Don't worry if you get an erection – it happens to all guys every now and then, especially when they're your age and just starting to become sexual." "Everyone there knows it's just something that happens." And then when it did happen he would just kind of smile and me and raise his eyebrows a little, like he was kinda reassuring me.
Had it even occurred to you before, or did he plant the thought?No, it had definitely occurred to me, especially since he had seen me erect by that point too. So I knew it was something that happened.
When your Dad first told you about going to the Y, how did he talk about the locker room?He brought it up very directly. "You know, I realize guys your age sometimes get shy about the locker room, but being naked in front of other guys is just part of being a man, and you're going to be naked while you're changing and also while you're showering." He kinda let me know that it wasn't optional, kind of implying that being shy about it was babyish or something.
Yes, that language, "You're going to be naked..." Just matter-of-fact. Your nudity was inevitable.Yes, not being too forceful about it, but not presenting it as a choice either.
So the Y was his main forcing function.Yes, pretty much. I never really thought of it as force but you're right.
Do you think he was hard during that conversation?I'm almost sure. He'd probably planned it out with his pervy buds and masturbated thinking about it.
Did he talk more about the locker room on the way to the Y in the car, that first time?Yes. He was basically reminding that it was normal to be a little apprehensive the first few times you were naked in front of other guys, but that he didn't want me to be one of those people playing the "towel game," like changing under your towel and stuff like that.
Had that occurred to you, changing under your towel?I'd seen people do it at the pool occasionally, and he reminded me that there was no one in there who hadn't seen a penis. But also that it was a guy thing to be kinda curious and check out what everyone else had. That it was just something people tried to be discreet about, but that I shouldn't be surprised if I noticed people looking. He emphasized that looking was guy stuff, kinda like a locker room tradition.
Do you remember looking at other guys, and your Dad later commenting that he'd seen you looking at one in particular?Yes, although sometimes I think he stretched that a little. I remember there was one boy who was an older teenager, and it's true that I was really curious about that, but I was also extra shy about it, so I was kinda purposely trying to look less. But dad brought it up right away.
"I noticed you were pretty curious about the older boy you were changing across from. It's kind of cool seeing how guys develop, huh?"
"He had a pretty big penis. He's probably about adult size at this point – you're getting there too."
"It's kind of interesting how different parts of boys grow at different rates."
Yes, almost always. I got used to that being "body talk" time.
Were you hard during those rides?Yes, always. I kinda learned to keep it under control mostly in the locker room, but whenever he would start talking about that stuff I'd totally bone up.
Did he notice and comment?He kinda smiled and raised his eyebrows at it once or twice but he never mentioned it during those specific talks I don't think. In a way I think he was trying to kinda walk a balance – sexualizing it quietly, but still wanting to make those chats feel very "fatherly." Mentioning my erection might have thrown that off a bit.
How had he seen you erect before the Y?Pretty much every time I'd be naked in front of him I'd end up boning, and he'd just say something quiet about it. "It happens to everyone, kiddo, and I'm glad to see you're growing up." Things like that.
I expect it was very encouraging for him given his goals.Yeah, I'm sure that's true. Not sure if he would have pressed things further otherwise.
Did any of the other men at the Y ever talk to you? Was any of it ever suggestive?There were a few times when I noticed guys looking pretty openly, but no one ever said anything.
Did Dad seem aware of them looking?Yes, there was like twice he mentioned it later.
I'm imagining that having you exposed to them excited him too.I know it did, yeah. I think he liked seeing me naked, but also like having other guys see me, and also liked the fact that I was seeing them too.
What did he say when he mentioned it?"I noticed that man in the shower was really looking at your privates – I hope that didn't embarrass you."
"Lots of men are just as curious about boys who are developing as you are about their adult penises."
Yes, he didn't always use that word but he did emphasize it now and then in those situations.
Did he expose you publicly in other places as well?Once while camping, in the showers there, but that's pretty much it.
Were you expecting it?Yes, I knew that there would be showers there, and also, that was by the time Dad and I were already having sex regularly. Oh, once before that was the locker room at a water park, but that wasn't that different from the Y.
Were there other boys your age at the Y?Yes, although a lot of them didn't shower naked. Some did though, and several who were a bit older and seemed maybe like they were showing off some too.
Did they look at, giggle perhaps, at your nakedness?I definitely saw other boys looking for sure, but they were usually kinda shy themselves I think, so there was no giggling or anything. And obviously younger boys would sometimes stare pretty openly.
Did you ever enjoy it back then, the feeling of others looking at you? Or of your Dad looking at you?Yes, it was funny – was like something that made me really nervous and kinda weirded out, but was a turnon too. Another one of those things I'd kinda want to get over with while it was happening but then would think a lot about later.
Did you ever get to the point of wanting your Dad to see you naked?A little bit. Kinda hard to explain. I had such conflicted feelings about it, and hard to separate out what was because I wanted him to see and what was because I knew that he thought it was a "grown up" thing to be less modest, if that makes sense. But I sometimes started leaving my door open while I was changing and stuff, even if just a crack.
Did he make specific comments about your penis?Yes, fairly often.
What would he say about your penis? Or specifically about your testicles?"Wow, I notice that your testicles are starting to drop, that's a really important sign of sexual maturity."
"Your penis is really getting thicker – you and I are going to have to have another chat about body changes at some point."
"Hey, your little patch of sexual hair is becoming really noticeable."
No – that's a fantasy that's hot but he never took it quite that far at that stage. I think about that idea a lot though.
Do you recall ever overtly exposing yourself to him at a time where it wasn't necessary?Like I say, I remember starting to leave the door open while I was changing in my bedroom, or walking to my room naked after a shower, thinking he might see, but nothing really more overt than that.
I wondered if you started walked naked from the shower to your room or such.Not all the time but sometimes, when I was feeling kinda daring or whatever.
Does anything particular stand out from your first trip to the Y?Hmmm, it's kind of a blur since I was feeling so weird about it, but I remember him kinda giving me a "look" when we were walking to the shower. He had his towel over his shoulder and I had mine wrapped around me. He didn't say anything but I could tell he was kinda saying, "Really?"
The "you're being a baby" look.Yes. But in a loving way.
Did he undress from the bottom at the Y?Not in the way you described (in "How to get a boy..."), although I really liked that detail. But once he was naked he kind of lingered that way.
Was your towel over your shoulder from then on?Not from then on, but I picked it up fairly quickly. After the first two or three visits probably. I had such butterflies in my tummy the first time.
He reassured you when he saw that, I expect.Again, just a smile, but he mentioned it later.
Were you stiff, that first time?Yes. It was something I'd been kind of thinking about and nervous/excited about, and was a hard little nail as soon as the towel went over my shoulder.
Wanting to feel grown up.Yes. Reminding myself in my head that it was okay to have a boner, and that dad would be proud of me. Little did I know he was probably going online and telling his pervy friends about it.
Did he mention your erection directly?Yes. "See, I told you no one would think your erection was weird."
But I bet they were looking.I know.
How many trips to the Y did it take before you got to the point that you'd strip naked without hesitation?Six or seven over a few weeks probably.
When did you begin masturbating in earnest during this whole series of events?
Hard to place exactly when it happened. Was probably sometime after dad started encouraging nudity but before we started going to the Y. And it was still a sort of funny kind of masturbation where I was only half really doing it on purpose, or told myself that at least.
So you didn't really masturbate until the sex started?Yeah, I mean, I was giving myself orgasms by touching my penis before that, but I wasn't like sitting down and saying "I'm going to masturbate now." Was more like I'd just kinda start playing with myself and my mind would go there.
Did Dad talk to you about masturbation?Yes, fairly briefly though. I've always had a fantasy about like "teaching tools" to help a dad with that conversation. The pervy "educational" manual is kind of one of my go to fantasies.
I'm surprised that he didn't make it a bigger part of the curriculum.Yeah, I know – I think a lot of dads do. I think he was still trying to walk that line, and figured that by the time we were at the stage where he could really talk to me about it in a serious way, I'd be ready for him to do more also.
So how did things progress with your dad?Basically he made it like an "educational" thing but sort of focused on my "curiosity" or whatever. Like, "I notice you've been really curious about guys penises in the locker room," and stuff like that. And kinda used that as a jumping off point. He totally knew what he was doing haha.
You were actually looking at other guys, or he just made you think that you were?I think kind of a little of both. I mean I definitely was, but I think he was definitely using that as a bit of an excuse too.
You were 11 when he took things further?More like 11 when he was starting that whole process, and 12 when he really took it to the next stage.
Would you tell me about the first overtly sexual thing you remember?He had like "nudist" magazines he showed me, you know? For educational purposes of course. And ended up masturbating with me while we looked through them.
Of course, education :)Yeah, that was kinda how it was always framed.
So you masturbated side by side... and he saw you watching him, of course.Yes, definitely. He let me touch a little, and he touched a little, but didn't go that much farther than that the first time.
How were you feeling? Curious, scared, weirded out?All of the above. Definitely shy, a little scared, really curious, super excited. Gave me really intense butterflies in my stomach. Still kinda was in denial that dad was a perv.
You were completely used to being naked with him by that time, and used to being hard around him too, I imagine?Yes and no. I was naked around him fairly often at that point, and hard, but still wasn't totally used to it, Still made me feel kinda embarrassed and funny.
You were still hairless at that point?No, I was just starting to get some, which Dad would comment on a lot and stuff like that. He was fairly focused on puberty.
Did he shave his pubes?He kept them somewhat trimmed but didn't shave them.
Did you cum with him that first time? Were you shooting at that point?I was just starting to squirt a little bit. Wasn't like a big load, you know? But definitely shot a little bit. He said something like, "Woah, there you go – looks like you're making sperm too. I'm proud of you."
He liked the formal terms – made things less suspicious, I expect.Yes, he tended to use formal terms and a formal tone, although there were a couple exceptions to that. But in general he kept it all very fatherly and educational seeming, at least on the surface.
So that was the initial thing. How did it develop after that?It progressed kind of quickly from there. He had a whole talk with me about it a few days later, and from there it got a lot more intense.
How did the talk start?Started after dinner and he was basically just like, "Hey, I wanted to have a chat with you about what happened the other night when we masturbated together." It was kinda in the guise of making sure I was "okay" with it, but was really more about explaining why it was normal, that lots of dads and sons did that stuff, and that learning about sex from dad was more common than people realized, etc.
Did your tummy get tight when he said that?Oh yeah, exactly. Got that feeling I always got for sure.
But did you get hard also?Very.
So he knew that he had you.Yeah, by that point I think he figured it was time. I'm pretty sure he'd been getting like advice about it too, you know?
Interesting. Who would that have been from, I wonder?Like guys online, I think.
Then he asks you if you want to do it again, I expect. So it can be your idea.He asked me if I wanted to look through the magazine with him again. That day I ended up sucking him.
You said yes to the magazine?Yeah, definitely. I mean, I was totally kinda scared to say yes but felt like I was hypnotized or something. And I was so hard.
Explicitly, not just acquiescing, but saying yes in a definite way?I just nodded at first and dad sort of corrected me, you know?
He made you say it. What did he make you say, do you remember?"Dad, can we look at your magazine together?"
He could have gone further. He let you off the hook.What would you have made me say?
He might have drawn it out, gotten you to explain specifically which types of pictures you wanted to see, and what body parts.Haha, well, we did talk about that stuff when we were actually looking at it. Including the first time, although Dad probably did most of the talking.
At what point did he have you undress?He undressed right away the second time.
And you?I kinda didn't know what to do – kept my clothes on at first while he was taking his off, and he just kinda looked at me and raised his eyebrows, and I knew I was supposed to undress too.
The unspoken command. He'd already trained you. You got the message and complied?Yeah, exactly. And yeah, I did. There definitely had been a quiet training process leading up to that.
And he saw that you were already hard.Yes. He was too of course.
He commented on that, I expect."I'm glad that your penis gets so hard for our sex play, kiddo." Something like that.
Now it wasn't education anymore, it was "sex play." Was that the first time he'd referred to it that way?Yeah, exactly, he kinda made that shift fairly quickly. He'd talked about "sex play" some during our conversation after dinner. But kinda mixing that in with the educational thing, like sex play was all part of education. But he did use other words that day too.
Which other words?Ah, I know it's kinda weird but he at some point he said like, "You know that I'm molesting you, right?"
Whoa. How did you react to that?Yeah. Definitely was scary.
Had you understood it that way before that?I think I had basically figured it out but was kind of in denial about it.
I'm surprised that he went there, but I guess it was needed at some point to take things further.Me too honestly. But on the other hand like, I'm sure he knew I knew that word from school and everything, and that it would be crossing my mind if it hadn't already. Plus, I think it was just a word he liked using for whatever reason.
Right, so the secrecy talk started then.Yes.
Still, would have thought that he would keep encouraging you to think that it was your idea.He kept doing that in general, I would say.
So you're naked with him, looking at the magazine. Who was holding it? How did the conversation go, and when did the masturbation start?At first he just talked about different pictures with me. "This is one that reminds me a lot of you." Things like that. "Which guys are you the most curious about?" Kinda casually playing with himself but not masturbating.
Focusing on males. Were there girls too in the pictures?No, it was all guys. Was kind of like a vintage kind of magazine you know? Not explicitly porn, more a "nudist" thing with dads and sons hanging out naked in nudist environments.
No erections.Right.
Preteen boys? Or older teens?Mostly around my age and older.
Which pictures did you point out to him? How did he coach you?I was definitely most curious about the boys who were a little older and more developed than me, but he had to push me to really say that.
What was the most explicit way that he got you to say it?Something like, "I like how big his penis is, and how much hair he has around it. It's kind of like mine, but kind of like yours. I wonder what he looks like with an erection."
Were you both stroking at this point?Yes. At that point he had let me put my hand on his and he was fondling me pretty slowly.
"He let me put my hand on his." So you initiated touching his penis, without being told.He told me it was okay.
You hadn't touched it before?I had touched it the first time, but barely. This time I really started playing with it, and he kind of coached me.
That's when he knew that he was going to get it into your mouth.I think he'd made up his mind about that even before that honestly haha.
I'm sure he was determined to, but perhaps that's when he actually knew that he would get there.That time he didn't make me ask to touch it. He saw me looking and said, "Touching is going to be part of our sex play, Jeremy. You can go ahead and touch if you'd like."
I can see how you'd think he'd been coached to use certain terms, like "sex play."Yes.
I'm surprised he didn't say "you can touch my penis" more explicitly, or force you to ask. From there, how did he get his penis into your mouth?That happened the next time. Dad showed me gay porn with oral sex and suggested that we try it.
So that second session, did you masturbate each other to orgasm?Yes. Didn't actually take that long, haha.
Who came first?Dad did. He'd been making sure I held off.
How did it make you feel, bringing him off with your hand?Felt kind of amazing – made me feel really grown up. Felt really sexual too, in a way that kind of felt exciting and nasty at the same time. Was really intense seeing how much cum he made, but made me feel really proud of myself too. That I'd been able to make him do that.
I imagine he was appreciative.Yes. He told me how proud he was of me, and how special it was that we could be sexual together.
Tasting?How'd you know? haha
Just a natural thing. His cum all over your hand.Yeah. He tasted it first and then told me to taste too
. His finger, or yours?His.
You opened your mouth for him, and took his finger in. The next step to blowing him.Yes, it was definitely the point of no return in a certain way.
Did it occur to you at that point? That his cock in your mouth was next?Kind of, although I didn't totally know what that entailed. But I knew that was a sex thing that guys did together.
And then he masturbated you for the first time.Yes. He'd been playing with me off and on the whole time, but then he really started masturbating me. Kinda whispering stuff in my ear.
What did he say?Same kind of stuff – how proud he was of me, how glad he was that we could bond like that, telling me how sexual I was and what a great thing that was. Telling me how good I'd made his adult penis feel. Took me like 15 seconds to cum lol.
Best orgasm ever, to that point?Absolutely – was way more intense than anything I'd felt before that. I shot more sperm than I had before too.
So you were hooked.Yes.
And tasted?Yeah, we tasted it.
Different from Dad's.Yeah, I remember him saying it was a lot sweeter than his. Was thinner and less milky.
I'm a little surprised that he didn't just go straight to sucking you that time.I think he liked the whole process, and I think he wanted me to suck him first.
That would be the prize, yes. How long did he wait for that?Just a day.
How did you feel after you came, that second time?Kinda weird – on one hand I wanted to do it all the time, but on the other hand felt a little weird around Dad. Didn't quite know how to act around him, you know? And it's kinda weird but like – even though he was the one who introduced it, and he told me how proud he was of me, but I also didn't want him thinking I was a perv lol.
Did the nudity become more common?Nudity became somewhat more common, but we were never nudists – we kept clothes on most of the time when he wasn't molesting me.
So, the next day...Another talk after dinner. This time he asked me a lot about what I knew about sex between men, which wasn't much. But I'd obviously heard some stuff at school and he wanted me to tell him what I thought guys could do together sexually.
How did he show you porn, and what did you see that first time?We talked about it for a little bit, then he said something like, "Sounds like you know a little bit, but I was thinking since you're so curious, it would be great for us to watch a movie about some of this stuff." "It's pornography, but I think you can learn a lot from it anyway." Something like that.
Watching gay porn with Dad. Awks?Haha, yes, definitely, but by that point I was so turned on by what was going on that I kinda ignored the awkwardness. And Dad had made it clear by that point that we were going to be doing sex stuff a lot.
Did you undress to watch?Yes, it was the same thing where Dad just kind of looked at me when we got to his room, and I undressed without being asked.
Well trained already. He had you.Yes. I was so hard my dick was practically plastered against my tummy.
What did he show you?Wasn't anything too hardcore – just like a scene from a Bel Ami movie with two twink kinda guys just doing oral sex stuff. Dad said like, "You know why I'm showing you this right?"
He wanted you to say it.Yes. "Because I'm going to suck your penis."
You said that to him.With a little prodding, yes.
He must have been in heaven.Yeah, pretty much everything he'd been planning paying off. Precum was new for me, so that was something I was really fascinated by. Dad called it his "syrup."
I'm curious about the prodding... the language he used.You know the drill...
"You can say it Jeremy. If we can do this stuff together, we need to be able to talk about it too."
"When I ask you to talk about sex, I expect you to be direct about it. This isn't going to work if you act like a kid about it."
"I know you know the right words,you can use them."
That's true. Not sure why I just assumed. Probably just because I was really curious about his at that point.
In the end did he tell you to suck him? Or did he get you to ask?He told me to. He liked hearing me talk about sex but he usually was the one who kinda gave direction.
How did he tell you?"Okay Jeremy, I'm going to give you a minute or two to just play with my penis and get used to it, and then I'm going to put it in your mouth and show you how to give oral sex, just like the boys in the movie are doing."
Knot in the tummy again? Or not, by now?Definitely a knot in my tummy the whole time. It was kind of a mindfuck. I was like shaking from being so nervous and excited.
He had to lead your hand to him again, or your took the initiative?This time he leaned back and spread his legs open, and told me to go ahead and get between his legs. I really did just explore at first and he kinda told me the different names for the parts, which was something I didn't really know yet at that point.
The dirty names?He told me those later, and some I knew of course, but at that point he mostly focused on more "Dad" kind of language. Kept reminding me not to touch myself when he noticed me reaching between my legs and playing with my own privates.
Keeping you anxious.I think he just didn't want me to cum too fast. Then at a certain point he just kind of put his hand on my head smiled at me and really gently pushed me down.
You'd seen enough in the video to know what to do?Barely. Especially cause porn guys actually are pretty bad at giving head lol. But I knew enough to open up.
So no licking at first, just straight to the sucking.He'd kinda had me lick it a little during the "exploration" part, tasting his balls and his "syrup."
What was it like, when it was first settled in your 12-year-old mouth?I couldn't get anywhere near the whole thing at first. Was basically just a little more than the head, and it was a little uncomfortable, trying to get as much in as I could. But it was really powerful and intense, too. Having this part of my Dad that I'd been so fascinated with in my mouth. Being able to smell him. Doing this secret sex stuff with him.
Would you describe it as pleasant? Erotic? Fun? Scary?Pleasant is probably the wrong word, but I definitely enjoyed it. It was incredibly erotic, a lot of fun, and definitely scary and really bonding too.
How did he talk to you while you were sucking him?Kinda half telling me what to do and half encouraging me.
"Good job kiddo. Just cover your teeth with your lips so you don't scratch me."
"It's okay if you can't take all of my penis right now, it's very thick."
"What you're doing feels so good already."
Telling me how cute I looked.
He kept telling me it would be more fun if I waited. He didn't always do that. I think he just realized I had a hair trigger.
And that you'd be less interested in sucking after you came?Yes
. Did you get him off with your mouth, that first time?Yes. Again, it didn't take very long, even though I wasn't exactly an expert.
He came in your mouth?He came a lot in my mouth, then pulled out and shot some on my face.
Did he coach you on that?Yes. "I'm going to shoot my sperm soon. I want you to keep your mouth around my penis and try to swallow as much as you can."
You nodded with your mouth full.Kinda, yeah.
Did he hold your head?Yes. Not in a forceful or rough way, but definitely had his hand on the back of my head.
And so you were his cocksucker. How did he treat you in the aftermath?Lovingly, and sucked me.
I can only assume that was revelatory for you.It was incredible. Total sexual awakening. Totally made me into Daddy's boy.
Powerful stuff.Yes. Kissing him too.
How did things change after that?After that sex play became a pretty much daily thing. Sometimes with a "teaching" element and sometimes not.
It progressed beyond oral?Eventually yes, not right at first though. But dad did start kinda talking to me about my hole pretty quickly and helping me experiment with it.
So again, your idea to have your bottom filled?He definitely was pushing it, but by the time he actually fucked me I was asking for it, yeah.
How long did that take?Several months, but before I turned 13.
Not long at all, really. And did he let you do him?I guess it depends on your perspective, haha. Felt like a long time at the time. He did, but we didn't do that much.
Who usually initiated the daily sucking?Usually him, sometimes me, but definitely more often him.
How did he do it?Depended on the situation. Could happen a bunch of different ways.
"I want you to be sure you've finished your homework by eight, because I've set aside some time for us to play sexually then."
Stuff like that. Or would just come to my room in his briefs, or naked.
Haha I know.
Did he always cum first?He loosened up about that after the beginning. He still encouraged me to go slow and make it last, but he let me touch myself, especially since it became clear I could cum a couple of times.
Did you ever cum with his cock in your mouth?Yes, I did a lot. The best was when I could cum while he was cumming.
Hard to swallow when you're cumming, but yes.Haha, true. Dad didn't mind it if a lot of it went on my face lol.
He always reciprocated?Not always, but often. We kinda played it by ear :)
Did you mind that, when he just came to you and then left you throbbing?No, usually if I was still throbbing he'd finish me off. But a lot of times I came first, or we came at the same time. Sometimes we'd keep fooling around and he'd suck me off and make me cum again, but not always.
And you enjoyed finishing him even after you came?Yes. I was so into his cock.
Did you ever say no to him?No. Kinda hard to explain, but that never really felt like an option, even though I didn't feel forced, exactly. Plus, I was a horny guy so I usually wanted it.
It went on for quite some time, I assume. How did it stop?When I went away to college it kind of just stopped in a way that felt natural. By late high school we were doing it less often anyway, but we never really talked about ending it. Just something that kinda tapered off.
Did he pursue other boys?Not that I know of, although you never know.
How has this shaped your sexuality as an adult?Mostly fantasizing about that power dynamic, I think. Tons of nasty fantasies that kinda start there. I like the kinda quiet mental domination. Most of my fantasies kinda focus on that process. I definitely like scenarios where Dad is kinda working with someone else, and answering to them in a way. But I usually like Dad to be at least somewhat dominant. I like the idea of a doctor or teacher as kind of a mastermind, but usually with Dad still in a dominant role. Kind of like Dad's learning from a more experienced perv but son is still learning from Dad.
Is it ever awkward with your Dad now?Every now and then, yes. There will be like an unspoken awkwardness from time to time. Would be great to be able to at least talk about all this with him again, but not really sure how to bring it up at this point.
What would you want to say?Would be great to be able to talk to him about it like I'm talking to you. Ask him questions about it. Maybe share fantasies and even masturbate together.
You love the guy, I can tell... your molester.Yes. I do. It's cool you get that he used that word too, in almost a loving way.
Surprising, I don't think I've seen it before. But I can understand, he wanted to know that you were really bought in.Yes. Language was a big thing for him.
Powerful language, indeed.