The Power of Music

Chapter 15

by Josh Chambers

Disclaimer:

The following story is about the development of a fully consensual and loving relationship between a man and a pre-adolescent boy.  At some point through the story's progression, there will be a graphic display of sexual acts between the man and the boy meant to show the natural progression and development of an intimate and caring relationship.  If the topic of man/boy sex offends you, or if this material is illegal in your place or residence, or if you are under legal age, please leave now.

Any similarities between the characters in this story and any persons living and/or dead is purely a coincidence.

This story is protected under the nifty archives license agreement, and the author (me!) releases the right for nifty and nifty alone to post it on the internet.  Please do not post this story anywhere else without my consent or knowledge. 

 

Dear Reader

            Sigh... I did it again, and managed not to write anything during the Christmas season.  I apologize greatly for making those of you eager for more wait too long.  I can say however, that I will be picking up the pace now, as I have finally arrived at the story's "home stretch".  There are only a few chapters left now until I reach the conclusion, and I hope that I can make it as emotionally intense as possible. 

            Comments and even criticism are very welcome at thelittlepianistjosh@gmail.com.

 

            Sincerely,

            Josh Chambers

 

1

           

            Josh breathed out a heavy sigh of relief after finally having the opportunity to empty his bladder.  As usual, he had gotten straight on the piano when he had arrived at Steven's, and dinner came upon him before he realized it.  Not wanting to interrupt their mealtime conversation, he had waited to use the bathroom until after.  Now that he had relieved himself, a true feeling of satisfaction washed over him.   Even though the past weeks had been emotionally rocky, having experienced in that short amount of time a broader array of feelings than he had the rest of his life, he didn't think he could be happier than he was right now. 

            It was true that his relationship with Steven had changed a lot, but now it felt like the tension that had been there before was now gone.  Yes, there were still some uncertainties, and some questions, but he was happier with things now rather than how they had been a few weeks ago.  Even before hearing everything that Sam had said about gay people, he could tell something was paining Steven.  From the minute he had confessed his love, on the day Josh had skipped school early after the music festival, Josh knew there was more, but there was no way he could guess.  He had simply figured that Steven meant he loved him kind-of like how his mother loved him, or more like a father.   Even back then, he suspected that it meant something more, but he didn't know enough about how these sorts of things worked to even guess.  

            When Sam started talking about gay people, and about the kind of things they did together, something clicked, and Josh thought for the first time that maybe some of what Sam had said might be true about Steven.  He was still very unsure however, mainly because he simply couldn't conceive of Steven being gay towards him.  After all, he was just a little kid, and Steven had to be like... twenty years older than him.  Steven had said that he loved him though, and there were times... times when he remembered the look Steven gave him.  Before, he had no idea what that look really meant, but when Sam talked about how a kid had stared at him from another table in the cafeteria, it was his first real clue. 

            He honestly didn't know how he had the courage to do some of the things he did to find answers.  Like when he had left the bathroom door open, the very bathroom he was in now, and started taking his shower.  He knew that being naked was a big part of sex, and he thought that maybe... maybe if Steven came in and looked at him....  But Steven had been polite, and never came in.  Josh was glad of it too, because if he had, Josh wouldn't have known what to do.

            That had just been the beginning though, and he kept doing things that were more and more daring, just so he could get an answer, even though he had no idea what he would do with this knowledge once he had it.  So he had dressed up in that over sized shirt, and wore it loose to see if Steven stared at him more, even though it felt embarrassing.  When he had seen Steven's reaction, he thought maybe there really was something to what Sam had been saying. 

            Josh's confidence wavered however when Steven explained about his experience with girls.  It sounded like he had had girlfriends before, but hadn't worked out for some reason.  It also didn't help when Steven abjectly denied him any alcohol.  He really didn't know where he had come up with the idea for that one, other than that maybe, like he sometimes heard in movies, guys tried to get their girlfriends drunk for some reason.  The porno thing was also off the wall.  He didn't really know how knowing if Steven had any would tell him anything, other than maybe if it was gay porno or straight porno, like Sam had talked about. 

            But since none of it had really gotten him anywhere, he had been left scrambling for last ditch solutions.  One thing he thought he had learned from Sam was that guys got hard when they wanted to do sex things, and if they saw a girl they really liked, then they would get hard.  That meant... if a guy was gay, and he saw another guy he really liked, he would get hard as well.  That had to be a sure way of telling, because a straight guy wouldn't get hard unless there were girls.  Still, even having thought through all of that on his own, he still wasn't sure if it meant exactly what he thought, but he couldn't think of any other way. 

            Then, what had happened from the point Josh had grabbed him... it just seemed like one thing cascaded into another until it was a giant snowball that came crashing down on him.  Josh had gotten his answer, but at the same time found out that there was a lot more to it than he ever would have thought.  Finding out that Steven was not only gay, but a special kind of gay, which meant he was attracted to little boys... like how those corrupt catholic priests were supposed to be... Josh didn't know what to think of it at first.  At the same time, Josh knew for certain that Steven was not a bad person, not after all the things he had done for him, and how he had told him again and again how much he loved him. 

            So yes... Steven might be attracted to him like most guys are attracted to girls, but that didn't make him a bad parson.  Just yesterday, when Steven had gone on to explain things better, he had told him that his attraction wasn't really his choice.  It was just the way he was, and he couldn't really do anything about it.  In a way though, it kind of made him feel good inside, thinking that he could have that kind of effect on Steven.

            Still holding his little penis between his right thumb and finger, having jiggled the last few drops of pee out of it absentmindedly while immersed deep within his thoughts, he looked back down at his body.  To him, he seemed as scrawny as ever, nothing more than a little kid.  Taking a few steps back, without pulling up his shorts, he turned to face the bathroom mirror.  His belly, as usual, was a little caved in, his skin was ghostly pale, his arms as thin as pretzels, and his waste as narrow as a telephone pole.  He had to be without a doubt the smallest boy in the sixth grade.  Josh still couldn't really understand why Steven liked his body so much, even though there was no doubt left in his mind now that he did.

            The way Steven had touched him that night, almost a week ago now....  The way he had undressed him, so gently.  The way he had kissed him, then begin rubbing his hands all over him.  There was no doubt Steven wanted to do sex things with him, especially when he had started doing all those things to his penis.  Yes, it had definitely hurt when Steven pushed on his foreskin, but Josh knew how sorry he was afterwards.  Then there was what had followed. 

            Josh spent a lot of time the next few nights thinking through what had happened, and how Steven explained it.  Steven had also said he would not do anything like that with him again until he was ready.  Even when he asked him the very next night, Steven shook his head no and said that he better try it on his own first.  Part of Josh felt a lot more comfortable that Steven was letting him decide when they would do it again, but part of him was also disappointed.  Wouldn't it just have been easier if Steven just did it again, and maybe he would have enjoyed it more?  But Steven insisted that he try it himself first.  The problem was, when he tried, he couldn't bring himself to touch it, even when it got hard.  It was almost like every instinct in his body was telling him it was wrong, and he always ended pulling his shorts back up again. 

            This time however, staring into the bathroom mirror, seeing himself much like how Steven must see him, he was determined to re-create the feelings he had felt that night.  He was going to get over his discomfort, and put all the bad things his mother had said as far from his mind as possible.  He wanted to try and feel good, like Steven said.  He wanted to do it himself, so that he could then do it for Steven afterwards.  So, like Steven had that night, Josh let his hand roam across his belly and then down his legs.  Though his hands were shaking something fierce when they came back up inside his legs, he forced himself to continue, until his fingers rested on the base of his penis.  All of his touching began to have the desired effect, and his little penis began to harden to a length not even bigger than his ring finger.  Using all the will power he had, he forced his fingers to stop shaking, and begin pulling on his loose foreskin. 

            The feeling was like nothing he had ever felt.  His legs almost buckled from underneath him, causing him to reach out his other arm for the bathroom sink to hold himself steady.  The feeling was so intense, yet it was somehow different than how it had felt when Steven did it.  When he did it again, another wave of feeling shot though his body, and his little penis actually begin to pulse in his hand.  The feelings... even though they felt strange and foreign, they actually felt... good!  And the longer he kept rubbing his foreskin over the top of his ridged purple head, the better it felt!  Josh was really beginning to get into it, actually letting a few small moans escape from his pursed lips when he heard Steven's call. 

            "Josh, where are you?  Are you ready to start the movie?"  Steven called out from the living room.

            Steven's voice, like a bolt out of the blue, jolted Josh away from the pleasurable sensations he was giving himself.  Quicker than Steven could have blinked his eye, Josh pulled up his underwear and shorts and ran out of the bathroom.  Josh didn't hesitate to land himself right on top Steven, who was cosily sitting on the couch.  Steven let out a large "woomph" of air, as Josh's behind had landed almost squarely on his belly.  Steven reciprocated by tickling him hard on his sides, causing him to topple over sideways.  Josh squealed with laughter, loving every moment of their play.

            After Steven turned the movie on, he kept his arms around him, occasionally rubbing his chest and belly.  Josh let out an utter sigh of contentment, snuggling against him even more, hopefully letting Steven know that he couldn't be happier.  It was like that, with Steven's hands wrapped tightly around him that the startling sound of the doorbell rang throughout the house. 

            The sound of the chime nearly scared Josh to death, and he could see that it had had the same effect on Steven.  Both of them had shot off the couch and onto their feet.  Josh gave Steven a quizzical look, silently asking him if he had any idea who could be at the door.  Steven however could only shrug his shoulders, seeming just as much at a loss as he was. 

            Steven grabbed the remote really quick to turn the movie off before hastening to the door, with Josh quick on his heels.  Fear began it's telltale plunge inside Josh's stomach.  Thinking about it a little more, there was really only one person he knew who would be ringing Steven's door at such a late hour.  When Steven moved to open the door, his fear was confirmed. 

            "Joshuah Andrew Chambers, I can't even begin to... oh, and finding you here just proves I was right all along."

            Josh's mother stood there in the doorway, with her arms crossed tightly across her chest, her face burning with white-hot anger.  Without asking permission, she stormed into Steven's house like an unwanted cyclone ready to reek mighty destruction. 

            "I want to hear it from you true right now.  How long have you been coming here without my knowledge?"  Josh's mother asked in a voice that could have frozen an emperor penguin. 

            Josh, seeing his mother standing there like that, so worked up, right in the middle of the entry-room to Steven's house, was having a hard time forcing his mind to make the picture reality.  Everything seemed to be running in slow motion, with all the pieces to his carefully constructed house of cards seeming to fall apart before his very eyes. 

            "Honestly, how long did you think it would take me to figure it out?  I know that I have been working the late hours for a while, but I have made sure the refrigerator was well stocked for you on the nights you wanted to have dinner early.  But you haven't eaten any of the things I've bought, and you never want to wait around until I get home.  So I assumed that your friend Will's parents were feeding you, even though I told you that you needed to come home and eat something."

            Josh's mind raced with all the things he wanted to say in his defense.  How could she expect him to wait around until past nine o'clock when her office finally closed?  When she had first started working there, it hadn't been so bad, they had given her the afternoon shift, and she was home by seven, but now she was working until close every night.  Part of him wanted to scream at her, saying that if she wanted to eat dinner with him, then she should get home at seven instead of nine, or lord forbid, she could get home at five like a normal person.  She didn't even make an effort though, or even apologize for coming home so late recently.  She had only said, "I have to work late for a few months, you'll have to fend for yourself if you want dinner at a normal time."  Josh wanted to shout all this and more at her, but as soon as he opened his mouth, she cut him off.

            "I'm not finished yet."  She said sternly.  "Now, I might have let that slip if that's all it was, since you have been good about your community service.  So I called Will's mother and asked if I could write her a check for her generosity.  Well... you can imagine my surprise when I find out that you have rarely eaten anything over there, and even more... you are only over there mainly just for practice one or two nights a week.  So... where are you spending the rest of your time, because you certainly aren't eating any food at home.  The only other place I could think of, of course, was here.  Since Steven had taken it upon himself to feed you regularly before, I figured it wouldn't be beyond reason."

            Josh's mother let out a heavy sigh.  "Yes, I know I have been working late, and I didn't really expect you to wait until nine for dinner, though it would have been nice if you did every once and a while, so we could share a meal together.  Still... it's no excuse Josh, it's no excuse for lying to me.  You knew I had problems with you being over here so much before.  Even if you still were able to keep up your grades, I did not think it was right for you to impose on Steven so much."

            Josh could see that Steven wanted to interject something, but she didn't let him get a word in either.  She pointed a finger over at him, and give him a glare that was just as, if not more accusing as the one she had given Josh.  "Don't even start with the 'Oh, you're son is no imposition' bull.  If you were any sort of responsible adult, you would have called me and told me that my son was coming back over here again.  But you didn't even have the decency to do that.  No... I'm sure you had no problems at all with Josh being over here as much as possible."

            Now Josh had to interject.  "No mom, it wasn't like that!  Steven wanted to call you, but I promised him I would tell you myself.  It's not Steven's fault, you can't blame him!"

            Josh's mother simply huffed.  "Oh yes I can.  I don't care what you promised, it was Steven's responsibility as an adult to call.  Yes, you should have told me, and believe me, now I am even more mad because it seems that you have lied to Steven and me both, but Steven should still have called me."

            "But I prom-" Josh started, but his mother cut him off again.

            "It doesn't matter.  You are still a child, and it's Steven's responsibility to check with me directly, your parent and legal guardian, before letting you come over.  He shouldn't have just taken your word for it, even if you can be trusted.  But now... you've proven that you can't be trusted, haven't you?"

            Josh opened his mouth to speak again, but he couldn't think of anything that could dispute what she was saying.  She was right.  He had lied.  He had lied to her, and he had lied to Steven, knowingly.  He knew there was no way his mother would let him go to Steven's as much as he wanted, if at all, and he knew that Steven would probably have gone along with what his mother said if she said he couldn't come over.  It's not like Steven would have had a choice anyways if his mother said no.  There would have been nothing either of them could do.  There was no way Josh could have accepted that.  So he had lied, so he could be with Steven, because he simply couldn't imagine not being with him anymore.

            Josh's mother shook her head, frowning intensely.  Her eyes, which had been narrowed and cold, stabbing into him violently, now seemed to soften with her frown.  She looked about the room as if she was again taking stock of the situation.  "I don't know what to do with you.  Honestly, I was a bit surprised to see you here at first, since Steven seemed to be done giving you lessons.  But at the same time, I knew that you really didn't want them to end.  I should have known you wouldn't just let it drop.  After that day you came home sick from school...."

            Josh bit his lower lip.  She was figuring it all out, he could see it on her face.  Initially, he hadn't even told her that he had come home early that day, but she had gotten a call from the school, and he had to tell her something.  So he had lied again, telling her that he had come home sick.  Luckily, he was home when she had gotten back that night, but it had definitely been close, and he wouldn't have known what he would have done if he had come home and she was already there.  In fact... he didn't know what he would have done on any of the nights his mother would have beaten him home.  In that regard, he had been incredibly lucky. 

            "Everything was okay after that, because you were coming back here again, weren't you?"  Elizabeth shook her head solemnly.  "You lied because you knew that I didn't like you being over here so much, and you assumed that I wouldn't let you come back at all, didn't you?"  She waited until Josh nodded his head, then continued.  "Well, maybe you were right, and I would have told you no, but maybe I wouldn't have, and just limit your amount of time here.  But for whatever reason, you couldn't accept no for an answer, could you?  Now, you've blown it, and Steven's blown it too.  I can't trust you to come here yourself, and I can no longer trust Steven to watch over you.  This ends here and now.  I never want to see you here again," She said in a tone of inarguable finality.

            Josh wanted to scream.  He wanted to scream as loud as he possibly could.  How could she do this to him?  She was taking away everything.  Steven not only represented the one person in his life who cared for him, but he also represented all of his musical hopes and dreams.  Without him, he didn't know what to do.  Without Steven, the life of music that he wanted so much didn't even seem possible.  She couldn't do that to him, she just couldn't.  Taking away Steven meant... taking away everything he loved in life.  Everything!  At that moment however, Josh could only stand there, completely shell-shocked.  He felt completely incapable of moving.  He wanted to scream, he wanted to cry, he wanted to... he wanted to tell his mother how absolutely wrong she was!

            It was his mother, however that made him move.  "I want you to get all your things, and I want you in the car.  Wait for me out there, I have a few things I want to discuss with Steven in private."  When she saw Josh hesitate, she only raised her voice further.  "Move it, now!

            Completely unable to prevent tears from running down his face, he ran.  He ran straight out of the house.  Why should he get his music things?  None of it mattered without Steven.  Nothing mattered without Steven.  Fleetingly, Josh debated on running straight past the car and out into the street, but... where would he run to?  There was no place for him to go.  He could run to Will's... but his mom would eventually find him.  Besides... what was he going to say to Will?  No... there was nothing.  It seemed completely hopeless.

           

2

 

            Josh didn't know how long he stayed there in the car, waiting for his mother to come out.  Time didn't seem to have any meaning anymore.  The last words his mother shouted reverberated continually in his head, despite his vain attempts to banish it.  "I never want to see you here again.... I never want to see you here again...."  Over and over it kept droning in his head.  It was as if his brain was trying to completely reject the idea, because if it were true... the reality of those words seemed too horrible to grasp. 

            How could it have come to this?  He had tried to be so careful, making sure to call his mom regularly, at least at first, making sure that he would be home before her.  Eventually, it became clear that his mother really was going to be working late hours for a long time, and if she wasn't even at home, how could she know he was not there?  Even the times she called to make sure he was home, she always called the cell, so lying about where he was was the easiest thing. 

            The food though... the food she bought for him, and expected him to be eating... how could he have not thought about that?  How easy it would have been to just throw it away, or make it look like he had eaten it.  If he had thought of that, then maybe he could have avoided this whole catastrophe.  But he hadn't, and know his mother knew, she knew he had been coming over to Steven's all this time.  She had figured out he had been lying to her.  He knew that... he knew if she ever found out, he was going to be in a world of trouble.  Yes, he had actually thought about telling his mother the truth, and pray that she would let him continue to go to Steven's.  But he knew... he just knew that she wouldn't approve.  His mother didn't approve of anything he did, it seemed. 

            Ever since he had started playing the piano, she had only been grudgingly supportive.  The only reason she really let him start was because the church organist lady thought it would be a fine idea for him to play.  His mother however, always concerned that anything he started might interfere with his faith, and obligation to the church, was skeptical.  Only when he started learning church hymns did she seem to brighten up to the idea, finally seeing the possible benefits to such a talent.  But if his mother was proud of him for that talent, Josh certainly hadn't noticed.  He wouldn't have even known he was any good at it if the organist hadn't said anything, and even then, the only thing his mother would let her teach him were church hymns, which really weren't that hard.  They were nothing like some of the piano music on the CDs his dad had given to him.

            Josh remembered how hard it had been to finally convince his mother to buy him some of the sheet music to his CDs.  He had no idea why she was so hesitant.  Maybe it was just... the fact that she didn't really like classical music.  At the time, Josh could think of no other reason.  His mom didn't really like a lot of things, it seemed.  She didn't like his music, she didn't like the fantasy books he liked to read, and she most certainly didn't like the idea of him playing video games.  There was pretty much nothing he liked that his mother supported, unless it was church related.  Always church related.  Church, church, church!  He was getting so sick of it.  Why did his mother have to be such a... why couldn't she be just a little bit appreciative, and supportive of him, like... like Steven was.

            Thinking about Steven again however, turned out to be a big mistake.  It sent his mind in yet another vicious circle of "what ifs", and "how unfairs", leaving him right back where he started.  Without Steven, things seemed hopeless, and any desire to do anything was completely shirked.  Why should he care about anything if his mom didn't?  Steven, it seemed, was the only one who really did care, and without him.... 

            Before yet another round of fresh tears could start, Josh's mother burst out of Steven's front door, carrying all his music books.  Without pausing for a moment, she dumped all his stuff in the back and hickupped the car on and shifted it into gear. 

            "I swear Josh, I don't want you having anything more to do with that man, not if I have anything to say about it.  He is bad news, I could tell from the beginning.  He may be all professional and comforting on the outside, but I could tell he always had ulterior motives.  He's a sick man, and you should stay as far away from him as possible," Josh's mother iterated, her hatred for Steven a clear as crystal.

            Josh bit his lower lip and choked back his tears.  How could she say that about Steven?  What did she know about him?  Steven was pretty much the nicest man he had ever met, and he was sure that almost every other kid in his class would agree.  Even now that he knew Steven's secret, he didn't think it changed the fact that he was the nicest guy in the world.  Steven had said though... if people knew about it, they wouldn't much like it.  Still... how could his mother possibly know?  She hadn't even known he'd been coming over until recently.  Josh himself would never have found out if hadn't done the crazy things he had done to get an answer out of him.

            "Honestly," his mother started, taking the turn on the main road back to the apartment rather sharply, "Why would any grown man want to have a kid around almost constantly?  I mean, haven't you asked it yourself?  Why has he taken such an interest in you?  Yes, he sees that you have some skill at the piano, but is that really enough to justify all the time he spends with you?"

            Josh was almost to the point of biting his fingers off.  How was she doing this?  It was almost like she was reading straight through him.  He could think of absolutely nothing to say in his defense, because she was dead right.

            "I should have seen it earlier... especially when he showed up to your birthday party like that.  I guess I didn't want to believe it, I mean... what mother would?  What mother wants to believe that her son's teacher might be a.... No, I chose to ignore the warning signs.  I swear to the lord himself, if that man has touched a single hair on your head, I'm going to make him regret it," She said, her tone almost frantic. 

            Then, surprising the living crap out of him, she slammed the breaks on to her car, right after turning onto their street, which was luckily devoid of drivers.  The look she shot at Josh was so intense that it was almost wild.  At this point, he couldn't tell what his mother was feeling.  It looked like a cross between anger, fear, and desperation.

            "Did Steven do anything to you?  Did he touch you in any way that was inappropriate?  Did he make you do anything that you were uncomfortable with?  Tell me... that he did something like that!  Tell me that he somehow lured you in, and you didn't have a choice.  Tell me that he made you lie and I swear....  I wouldn't blame you honey, if he did.  He's a sick person, and he manipulated you to get what he wanted.  God I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry I didn't step in sooner.  I'm so sorry honey."

            Josh could scarcely believe when she reached over and hugged him tightly, it seemed like she had completely changed.  Once second, she seemed really mad at him, and the next, she was showing overwhelming sympathy.  Josh couldn't believe what she was saying.  Somehow, she was thinking that everything that happened, was now Steven's fault.  But it simply wasn't true.  HE was the one who had lied.  HE was the one who had set it all up so he and Steven could be together.  It wasn't Steven's fault at all.  Nothing was Steven's fault.  His mother was wrong, and Josh wanted to scream it in her face. 

            But for some reason, he couldn't.  He didn't know whether it was the sheer amount of emotion that had been flooding through him in such a short amount of time, but it was all beginning to be too much for him.  He was completely at a loss for words.  Now, with his mother hugging him, and comforting him, he felt completely overwhelmed.  Everything felt as if it had been flipped on it's head, and nothing made any sense anymore.  Why was his mother doing this, and how could she even think the things that she did?

            For now, the best Josh could do was remain quiet, tying his best to keep himself from drowning in the sea of his overwhelming emotion.  He had to sort his thoughts though, but he couldn't do it here, with this mother holding him like that.  There had to be some way out of this... this... madness that his mother had dropped squarely on top his head, wrecking his entire life. 

            He just couldn't accept that he would never get to see Steven again.  He couldn't let himself fall into that deep pit of blackness.  Steven had made him a promise.  He promised that he would be in his life for as long as Josh wanted, and would never run away again.  And that's what Josh wanted, he wanted Steven in his life.  Josh accepted Steven for who he was, just like Steven accepted him.  Josh had said he would hold Steven to his promises, and he was going to do everything he could to make sure he could keep them. 

            He just needed time to think....  There had to be something he could do to stop this madness.