A LIFE CHANGING INTRODUCTION.
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I'd had my fair share of hetero relationships in my life, some reasonably long term and a couple of them had caused me a few bleak moments after the breakup.
Nothing like this though.
A gay relationship, - affair even, - had torn me apart and even the following morning I was still given to sudden emotional outbursts.
I called a mate of mine who lived in the same village as me.
He was a medic but specialising in mental health and held a very senior position in Birmingham, some fifty miles from where we lived.
That said, we'd been close friends for years and I was God Father to his youngest daughter.
I could talk to him even though he was so `Southern Irish' with his approach and I knew he'd tell me how he saw things, -- yeah, - Liam was the only person I could tell and that wouldn't say anything to anybody else.
"For fucks sake John! Why didn't you fucking talk to me before! Jesus fucking Christ man!
Bottle that sort of shit up and you'll be `one of mine' before you can fucking spit!
Get me a can of cider then we'll work this through together."
Half an hour later, - Liam having been given it all, chapter and verse, looked at me.
It must have taken him ten seconds to say "Fucking Hell John?!
You're into kids?!
Oh fucking jaesus man! -------------I don't know!
Oh fuck, -- fuck!!"
"I didn't instigate this Liam. It just happened just like I told you.
I've walked away. I knew it was wrong but the feelings I have for him are still there.
I never for one moment thought that I'd settle for anything else other than a nice bit of skirt!
Why the fuck do you think I'm talking to you!
I'm very scared and I need your help!"
"Ok so you've walked away. Will you have contact with him again in the future?"
"Yes I will but only platonic. No matter what, I still love him and it's almost as if I have a duty of care and I'll tell you another thing, - he would be heartbroken if I didn't!
"You think so?"
"I know so Liam.
I keep copies of all my emails. You can read them and judge for yourself if you want. You'll know I'm not fucking about then."
Liam paused for a moment and then helped himself to another can.
"Oh Jonny, - Jonny!
I'm fucking lost here man!
You're one of my closest friends for fucks sake!
Listen to me now.
No one will hear anything from my lips and that includes the wife. You do your bit and make sure that sure you have the respect of that boy you were involved with and that there's no possibility of any `come-back'.
No body will understand if this comes out. Believe me you'll be so fucked if that was to happen, - especially round here in the village!
This isn't your fucking gay village `Manchester style' for Christ's sake!
Anyway, why aren't you having a drink with me?"
"I don't think the booze is helping my emotions so I'm cutting back a bit.
There won't be any come-back. Damn it his parents know all about me and even gave their blessing to our relationship!"
"Have you talked with them since, you know, talked to his old man?"
"No I've not."
"Then you ought to. Keep him up to speed with things.
Is there anyone else? You seeing anyone else?"
"If you're asking if I'm involved with anyone else then the answer's no I'm not. If you're asking am I seeing anyone else then yes, I am. Well sort of."
"Should I be pleased for you?"
"I don't know.
I'm not ready for a heavy relationship just yet but just in case you're wondering, if this were to go anywhere, it would be perfectly legal and above board."
"I should fucking hope so! I should fucking hope so man!"
"Look I'm sorry to have dragged you into all this Liam but I didn't know who else to turn to. It feels like my season for screwing up relationships and friendships."
"Don't fret about it! I've heard worse, - much worse and d'you know something? I'm pleased that you thought you could talk to me about it. Yes we're great friends but even so, - that took a lot of doing!"
"Still friends then?"
"Jesus! Johnny boy! What sort of man do you take me for! I really liked you before but now I admire you as well so fuck off and stop worrying!"
Once Liam had left, I settled down for a good old rational think.
I eyed the half-consumed bottle of wine but bothered that it might just drag me down into another bout of self-pity, I left it alone.
I called Adams father but the call went to answer phone. I didn't leave a message.
I decided to confirm the visit to Highmore with Jamie. I hoped he would understand that it would be just that, - a weekend away in order to allow us to get to know each other better and nothing more.
I knew my resolve wouldn't break but what about him?
A horny `just about to turn sixteen year old boy', probably expecting sex and not getting it?
Well if nothing else it would be a good test.
I emailed him although I knew I'd not get a reply until mid-evening but on firing up my lap-top, I found I'd missed one from him.
Sorry about last night. My battery failed on me and by the time I'd put sufficient charge in it to call you back, I thought maybe it was a little late.
I'm really looking forward to next weekend, - that is all assuming you confirm it with me.
I have free periods all of Friday afternoon so I could be ready for about twelve-thirty and if that's alright for you, it'll mean that we get to Highmore in the daylight and I can show you around.
Look. I've been thinking about things.
I know you'll be pretty devastated still after last weekend and I don't want you to think I'm inviting you over just so as I can get into your pants.
I don't believe you'll want that and I quite understand. I don't want and never have wanted sex for it's own sake. If that was ever to happen in the future, it would have to be because we both really wanted it to happen, - not because we thought we ought to.
If I've got this wrong, I hope you'll understand that for me it has to be a part of a loving relationship or not at all.
I hope I've not totally blown it before we've even had the chance to be alone together!
Please mail me back soon?
I couldn't suppress a fit of the giggles!
Can this boy read minds or something?
I was absolutely over the moon and emailed him straight back.
When did you pass your mind-reading exams?
Those same thoughts had been going through my head and I was worried about how to tell you!
I'm really looking forward to the weekend and I'll be there to pick you up at twelve-thirty on the dot.
You cannot believe how pleased I am that we're of the same mind because you are so very right. I'm not ready for any sort of commitment yet and as we hardly know each other, I don't feel that that type of involvement is appropriate.
I think that we will have a great weekend together especially as that knotty subject has been aired and agreed on. Bless You!!!!
Take care and see you Friday.
I spent the next two days concentrating on my work and by Thursday lunch time I'd completed everything outstanding and was feeling rather pleased with myself.
I'd emailed Adam on one occasion and his reply had been positive.
He and Billy it seemed, appeared to be going from strength to strength and I was surprised that I didn't feel in the slightest bit emotional but rather, it served to hammer home to me that what I'd done was the right thing for all concerned.
For the first time in three days, I decided to amble down to the pub for a drink and I was quite taken aback to see Liam propping up the bar.
"Hey Jonny boy! What'll you be having man?"
"Guinness sounds good. I'm keeping off the wine for a while, especially at lunch time!"
"I've been meaning to come over to see you but I've been up to my neck in work. I decided to take a day off and if it was I didn't see you in here, then my next port of call would have been at yours, - after a couple of pints you understand!"
"You need `Dutch Courage' to come and see me? It must be bad news!"
"Not a bit of it, you prick! It's good actually. Quite good!
I had a little word with my boss. – In general terms you understand.
By all accounts, he made a study of, how can I say, - your situation."
He paused as my drink was delivered and the barmaid disappeared into the kitchen before continuing.
"You weren't what is called a predatory paedophile now were you.
It was a mutual thing, - both of you involved with each other without coercion or anything?"
"Correct. If anything, he was more in control than I was. You've got to remember that up until that point, I really believed I was as straight as an arrow!"
"Whatever. It's done now.
My boss told me that even if it was to come out, the likelihood is that it would never come to court because if the boy refused to give evidence against you, - and given that his old man and his headmaster knows, - is unlikely, - then you would be home and dry.
He'd say that he loved you and wanted no further participation in the proceedings so where would be the point in continuing?"
End of chat!
No evidence, -- no case!"
"Yeah and I see an empty glass in front of me so get your pissing wallet out for Christ's sake Jonny miboy!"
Friday morning dawned.
I was feeling so very good about things following my conversation with Liam.
I'd not been overly concerned about the possibility of any legal stuff but the knowledge that it probably wouldn't happen anyway, served to settle my mind even more.
I'd packed a bag the previous evening and at ten-thirty I headed off to collect Jamie.
I was still a touch nervous though.
I hoped I wouldn't see Adam, for fear that I'd start crying again but I dismissed the thought from my mind, - thinking only of the weekend ahead.
Jamie was waiting for me.
I'd been held up in the Friday afternoon traffic and was a little late.
No sign of Adam or Billy. I mentally `crossed' myself!
"Hey! Sorry I'm a bit late! The traffic is seriously heavy coming into town?"
"Don't worry John! It's ok. Just pleased you made it!"
Jamie through his bag onto the back seat and closed the door before leaping into the passenger seat beside me.
As we set off down the road, Jamie looked at me.
"You like older cars then?"
"It does the business! Why change it? She's another `love of my life', - I bought her in 1995.
I was too young to drive then but I saw it and persuaded my Dad to buy it for me.
I paid him back with what I'd got in my savings account and then we set about restoring her."
"Just looks like another old Vauxhall to me? What's so special?"
"You can't hear it then."
"Nope! I can't!
It's comfy and quiet but nothing out of the ordinary?"
"Just wait until we hit the motorway! You will be amazed!"
My `Old Vauxhall' had been built and prepared by Lotus.
A Lotus-Carlton. Three litres of sheer power!
Lotus engine and transmission, - no turbo-chargers here, - three twin-choke Webber carbs which made as much noise as the exhaust when accelerating!
Ceramic brakes and upgraded suspension made it one of the fastest saloon cars of it's age, - capable of in excess of 145 miles an hour.
Ok, - it was an `old car' by modern standards but it could take most young `petrol-heads' on and trash them!
We hit the M4 and I floored her!
Jamie was pushed back in his seat as if he was in a 737 on acid!
"Oh, – my, – God!!
WOW! That's so quick! For heaven's sake slow down before you end up getting points John!"
"Ok!! I did that as an object lesson. – Never judge a book by its cover.
You saw an elderly old Carlton but what you didn't know was that it could fly!!
I love this car!
It'll be buried with me, - I love it soo much!"
"You'll appreciate my father's collection then.
I've never been into that sort of stuff but you and he would get on really well."
came off the motorway, - headed through Reading town centre, over the
Thames into Oxfordshire.
As we drove through Caversham, I realised I knew where I was.
"Is there a pub in Highmore?"
"Yes. Do you want to go there?"
"No not particularly but I know this road. – The pub, - is it called the `Dog' or something?"
"The `Spotted Dog' actually. How do you know that John?"
"I've had lunch there a couple of times. I had business in Reading and it was on my way back to my office in Aylesbury.
I remember the landlord more than anything else. A surly old bastard, - Jack or Jake?"
Jamie nearly had a heart attack laughing!
"Jake Thomlinson! Oh heck! He's still there! He still runs the pub!
My Dad is too soft to tell him to retire!"
"Your Dad? He owns the pub?"
"Um. Yes. He does and most of the village actually.
I was going to give you a tour but you asked about the pub and it kind of slipped out.
Take it slow here, - the next left bend, you'll see the pub. Come on! Let's go in and say hello!"
"No, - let's not bother. Maybe we can go there for lunch tomorrow, - unannounced and see his reaction."
I hesitated before continuing.
"I would rather settle in first Jamie.
It's been a long drive and, - well, - I've some thinking to do. I find I'm talking to you as if I've known you all my life and that's a bit scary! I need to take stock?"
Jamie smiled at me.
"I completely understand. You take it easy.
If it's of any comfort, - you're a very easy person to be with and talk to as well.
I wondered how it would be after last weekend.
You were very upset and didn't do a very good job of keeping your feelings to yourself. We all of us were very aware of your pain.
"I'm sorry! I must have been a right pain in the arse!"
"No? You just made a very bad job of keeping your emotions in check!"
Jamie pointed through the window.
"Just around this corner you'll see a driveway on the left. Head down there."
This concludes part three.
Yet again, there was no sexual content for which I do not apologise!
I sincerely hope that you'll persevere with the story as it develops and grows.
This is a love story.