Date: Wed, 7 Dec 2005 17:42:29 -0800 (PST) From: mick Subject: Tribute to Frank Three weeks ago, my man-friend died. I couldn't really say anything at his funeral, or tell his family how much he meant to me, so I thought I would write this. My counsellor said it was sometimes good to write things down on paper. But this is one paper I won't be showing her. But I think it will be good for me if other people read it and knew how special Frank was. I first met Frank in the soccer season of 2000. After having a really good game and wishing my mum and dad were there to watch, Frank was leaning against the fence and he said that I played a great game today. I said thanks and he said that I was gonna be a good player when I grew up if I worked hard at it. We got to chatting and he asked if he could come watch me play often and I said yeah, so then he took out a pen and paper and wrote down his address and asked me if I would drop the playing schedule over to his house one day. So I did. When I went to his place that first day, I gave him the draw and told him the map references were from the street directory so he could know where the grounds were that we played at. I asked him what made him think I was gonna be an awesome soccer player. He then took me to the spare room to show me all the trophies he had won when he was younger. He played top grade soccer in Europe and even had a newspaper clipping of him holding up a trophy for winning the best and fairest player in his country. So I knew then he knew what he was talking about. I went over a lot after that cause Frank told me that he could give me some good tips. Skills that were commonplace when he used to play in Europe but not really taught out here in Australia. One day when I went to see him and we were inside having a drink after practicing in the back yard, he asked me if I wanted a massage. I said yeah ok so we went into the spare room again and he made me strip off and lay on a towel with a towel over my butt for privacy. Then he came back in the room and got some oil and massaged me good. When he asked me to turn over I was a bit shy cause I knew I had a boner but I kept the towel from my butt across my front too so he couldn't see my boner. He could tell anyway as it stuck up underneath the towel but he didn't say anything about it. He gave me a massage every time after practicing in the backyard and if I was playing a home game he would invite me back to his house for a drink and a massage while we talked about the game. If mum or dad came to watch the game I would look to frank when we finished playing and he would smile and nod, then point to mum and dad as if to say be with them, you are their son. One day I introduced Frank to my mum and dad and told them he was helping me lots with soccer and that he had been a champion in Europe. And they smiled and greeted him too. So it was good and after that they talked together at my games all the time and would even give Frank a ride to the away games too. Frank became like a close member of our family and even had Christmas and birthdays with us as he didn't have any family of his own to share em with. He had some cousins and nephews and things but not any of his own children or a wife. When I was 13 I started to jack off and I could cum. So when Frank massaged me, instead of just getting hard I would leak some precum on the towel and make a wet patch. One day when I did that, instead of just going from my chest to my legs as normal, he moved the towel lower and could see my pubes and rubbed my hips too, then moved the towel right off and massaged my dick and balls and it made me cum. I liked it a lot and he still did the front of my legs after he did that. And when we went to the living room to have a drink he asked if I wanted him to massage me like that all the time from now on. So I said yeah that would be awesome. So from then on he massaged it too. And then he started to talk about sucking it and I had heard from boys at school that if feels great when they had it done from girls so I told Frank he could do it to me if he wanted. I got to thinking after that that maybe cause Frank didn't have a wife or anything that maybe he jerked off too and would like me to do it too so I did it to him too and he liked it a lot too and I made him cum. So after that we did practice in the backyard with soccer still but afterwards we wouldn't do massage but instead we did sex stuff which I liked a lot. Frank was someone who I could talk to when things weren't going right at home or at school or just needed to talk to someone and it couldn't be mum or dad. So when my dad died it was natural that Frank came to the funeral and after everyone had gone home I asked my mum if I could go to Frank's house to stay the night and she would have my brother there so she wouldn't be alone. So she said it was ok, and that night we went into his bed but we didn't do any sex stuff. Frank just held me while I cried and talked about my dad and stuff. He told me that everyone had to die sometime and to think about the great place my dad would be in now. I told Frank that I don't know what I would do when he died. And he told me that when that happened I would be older and stronger to cope. I was so angry when shortly after that my mum decided that there were too many bad memories in the city and it would be better if we moved to the country. So we moved and I got selected to go to a special high school not far away that developed sports careers in kids. My brother went to this other religious school that was good for him cause he is more brainy than me. Frank was excited when I told him on the phone that I had made it into the school and also had been selected to play juniors for an A league side. He started to travel some weekends up to stay with us so he could come watch me play. But after a while it was too much for him to travel on the train so he didn't come any more. As I was settling into the place and getting good marks at school and everything was going ok for us, then mum lost her job as the hospital wasn't going to do the stuff that she specialised in any more. So she decided that instead of travel each day to her old job we would have to move back to the city. So in a way I was pissed again at having to move back to the city as I had made some good friends at my school and also some in the town we were living in, but in another way I was pleased because we were moving back to the old area and I could go to Franks again and also to my old best friend. I was a bit nervous going round to Frank's that first time because we hadn't spoken since Christmas and I didn't know if he still loved me or if he would have another boy as sometimes happens I guess. Well I shouldn't have worried cause as soon as I saw him he jumped up and gave me the biggest hug but waited till we were inside until we kissed. I went around to Franks place a lot after that cause mum was at work whenever I came home from school and my brother was doing his own thing so I went to not be lonely but also loved the sex that we had. One day after that I went to Franks place and there was no answer on the door. I thought that was really strange as he never went out and was always there after school when I came over. So I went home and came back the next day and again there was nobody there. Then the next day I went and there were a lot of cars and people everywhere and they were all speaking in the language that Frank spoke sometimes. So I asked them where he was. This man named Johnny took me into the spare room and sat me down and said you must be Mick and I said I was. Then he told me that Frank had died in his sleep and I cried a lot and very loud so Johnny closed the door so people wouldn't hear and held onto me while I cried a lot. I ran home to tell me mum and my brother that Frank had died and they cried a lot too but not as much as me. I went to the funeral but couldn't understand anything what was said cause it was in Frank's other language. I sat with Johnny cause he was the only one I knew and he held my tight and comforted me so I guess nice men ran in the family. Johnny is Frank's cousin. Both the men that I had ever loved were now dead so I decided that I have to go where they are, so I tried to kill myself. I did it at the park so mum wouldn't see my body but they would just tell her and it would be ok, but it didn't work and I got found and had to go to hospital and stay there a week. Now I have to go to counselling all the time, 3 times a week after school, and I hate it and wish I could stop. I have already promised that I wouldn't do it again, so I wish that I didn't have to go. My old best friend is my best friend again since we moved back and we do some sex stuff but it is not the same as with Frank. My best friend and me do it cause it feels good. But Frank and me did it cause we loved each other. I got to go to hear about Franks will. I don't know why cause he has other family like his cousins and things so they should get his stuff but Johnny said Frank asked me to go so that is next week. This will be our first Christmas without Frank for firve years so it wont be as happy. Mum said we will probably go for a small trip after Christmas, as she has to work on Christmas day. So anyway that is the story and now some people know how much Frank loved me and how come I think he is special. Love, Mick