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I can't be sure what the time was when I fell asleep that night. Something about holding Dustin's body against me brought a certain calm to my whole existence that made the awareness of the passage of time so irrelevant. There was only touch, and soft movements...sighs of content...and the fragrance of a younger boy in my arms. I swear...his hair smelled just like...like 'blond'. I can't match it to any other scent in the world, except for maybe the aroma of Summer sunshine itself.
There was something about the way that Dustin gave himself over to me so completely. Heart, mind, body, and soul. He was old enough to keep a conscious eye on me and my intentions...but it took so little proof, such a brief glimpse of love's evidence, for him to fall deeply into my protective embrace. He trusted me. He believed in my affection for him. And he wallowed in it...snuggling up under my arm like a newborn animal who had yet to open its eyes to view any of the world's dangers and pitfalls. He was still at an age where he could truly give his love to someone else without any fear of heartbreak. Or any fear of betrayal or thought of our relationship having a life expectancy of any kind. He took hold of my arm and draped across his slender shoulders...depending on the never-ending consistency of my love with the same confidence that he used to depend on the rising of the morning Sun.
It was late when I found myself snuggled up behind him, and I made a few lackluster protests to get up and take him home. But even half asleep himself, Dustin told me, "Noooo, I called my mom already. It's cool. I'm just gonna spend the night, and you can take me home tomorrow. K?" Honestly, he never opened his eyes fully to tell me that, and with the scratchy haze in his voice, and the limpness of his body...I knew that he was much too worn out to go home. And I was much too worn out to take him.
He felt so warm...I could have stayed right there with my arms wrapped around him all night on that couch. But with vague memories of Dustin's habit to kick and scoot and wiggle throughout the night in his sleep...I thought it better for us to turn off the lights and for me to lazily guide him back to my bed where he could stretch out.
He was 14, after all. Dustin was used to having space all to himself. He took over every bit of personal space that he occupied. Hehehe, hardly enough room for me to coexist with him. At least not in a subconscious state of mind.
Dustin was practically sleep walking as I took him by the hand and walked back to my bedroom in the dark...making sure that he didn't accidentally hurt himself by kicking anything or bumping into any corners in the darkness of a slightly unfamiliar environment. Even then, I don't think he opened his eyes. He trusted me with soooo much. It could be scary at times. It was something that made me stand up and take notice of whether or not I was leading him in the right direction at all times. Whether it be physically, holding his hand in the dark...or emotionally. He gave me his heart so freely that it made me wonder if he valued just how amazing and how fragile such a thing could be. But I don't think he cared. He wanted me to have it. No questions asked.
Who was I to turn down such a miraculous gift?
As soon as Dustin felt the side of the bed hit the front of his thighs, he stripped down to just his underwear and slid under the sheets. I smiled to myself, as he did it as though he had practiced sliding under those sheets a thousand times before. He had a way of absorbing the familiarity of his surroundings after his very first experience with them...and I marveled at the way that he made everything seem so natural. So comfortable.
I didn't realize that I was staring at him until I saw his hand reach behind him and start patting the empty space on the mattress to blindly figure out why I wasn't intimately spooned up next to him. He was only half awake, but I didn't want to disappoint him. Besides, he'd worry if he thought I put him in here to sleep all alone. He craved my contact. I craved his. So I stripped down myself and slid under the blankets to cuddle him close and let him know that I was there.
To hear the contented sigh that escaped him once he felt my chest pressed against his back nearly brought tears to my eyes. It was like his entire body settled into an entirely different level of comfort. And he unconsciously reached back to pull my arm over him and roll away until he felt I was giving him the amount of heated body contact that he desired. Hehehe, he always knew exactly what he wanted. And he knew how powerless I was to keep it from him. Even in his sleep.
Hehehe, how was it that our relationship worked out so perfectly? You'd think that I could catch a glimpse of some kind of 'control' every now and then. Not so. Dustin was right. He 'owned' me now.
Thank God he was too sweet a person to abuse the privilege. Because he could make a total puppet of me any time that he wanted to. ANY time...
We both slept peacefully through the night. Dustin still has his moments where his selfish adolescent needs caused him to writhe and kick in his sleep. Never satisfied with the amount of 'room' given to him by having someone else in the bed with him. But...once the movement woke him up enough to realize what he was doing, he changed his mind...and only buried himself more deeply into my arms. Followed by another deep sigh...and then he went right back to sleep again. Hahaha, it was like it never happened at all. But I thought it was cute. I could only hug him closer to me and thank the stars for something so beautiful being brought to my life.
Love. Oh wow...true love. How do normal people go about their day with this being a part of their daily routine and not explode with giggles and excitement. Because I'd totally roll around in the overwhelming joy of it all if I wasn't afraid to wake Dustin up with my giddy chills and infatuated grins. I couldn't hold him close enough. Every inch of him was magic. And...and I just wanted him to know that I was there. Always. Forever.
He was my favorite boy. He always would be. It made me smile to know that he took such comfort in that.
However....when the morning came...
More carnal instincts took over. Perhaps it was the morning light. Who knows? But I woke up with Dustin's lithe young body spooned up against me. Both of us naked except for our underwear and Dustin's white socks, soothed by the warmth of our morning blankets. You have no idea how sleek and smooth the thighs of a fully relaxed boy are until you feel yourself rubbing against them.
Ohhhh...the sensual 'slide' of it. Flesh on flesh. Every last bit of contact that I had with his near virgin skin was one of awe and wonder. He had a glow to him. A slickness. Snuggling up to a boy like this is a pleasure that a rich man with the finest silk pajamas will never know. His body was so alive. My very sense of touch was addicted to the very feel of him. Jesus...how can this be real.
As my arms squeezed him tight, Dustin stirred in his sleep, whimpering in the most adorable way before scooting back to press the curve of his beautiful ass up against the hardness growing in my boxers.
What began as a cozy feeling of subtle affection between us...began to intensify as the marshmallow softness of the pert young cheeks mashed themselves against my arousal in shameless ways that made me all the more interested in the gift he seemed to be 'presenting' to me.
Thoughts of him asking me to make love to him...really make love to him the way he wanted me to...rang out in my mind. To penetrate such a tiny, tight, orifice...it almost seemed obscene to me before. But in this relaxed state, the two of us coupled together in such a way, with only the breaking dawn to illuminate the supposedly shameful taboo of it...I was seriously tempted to give in to my baser instincts and give him the love making experience that he was searching for.
Who knew that such a fresh young body could generate so much heat. It was ten degrees short of being uncomfortable. You'd almost expect him to singe the skin. I leaned in to bury my nose and lips in the silk softness of his sunshine blond hair. I rubbed my face back and forth against it slowly, so as not to wake him. There was a moment when his breathing changed, and he seemed to wiggle himself even further under my protective arm. My hardness was wedged in the cleft of his round bottom, and it throbbed as my desires began to reach a boiling point.
I gave Dustin a light kiss behind his smallish ear, and the enslaving smoothness of his skin called me back for more. To the side of his neck. To his cheek a few times. And back again. His vanilla scent intoxicated me, and my arm squeezed him lovingly, the flat of my palm resting on his flat chest...an erect nipple tickling my hand in the center. So very beautiful. I never dreamed that I would one day be laying here with a boy so beautiful.
I entertained my deepest cravings for a few quiet moments, soft kisses and tender caresses. My shaft pushed itself against the spongy mounds of flesh. Almost involuntarily. The delicious sensation that ran through me nearly took my breath away, and I placed a lingering kiss in the nape of his neck to show my appreciation for the very feel of his body molded to mine. I felt the compelling need to push forward turn into a gentle grind. We still had our underwear on, and no penetration had been made...but that slender body and the feel of those taut young cheeks against me was about as erotic as anything else that I could imagine at that moment. For a teenager without much 'meat' to him anywhere else...his ass was ample in its shape and size. He was telling me the truth when he told me that it was amazing. I could feel the curve of it as it pushed out from the small of his back, and sensually followed an artist's vision of perfection as it reconnected to the back of his thighs. Humping myself against it a few more times caused me to shiver with delight, and I gently sucked on his tender ear lobe as I attempted to control myself.
That's when I felt Dustin stir some more, and as his long legs slid up and down slowly...he began to regain his hold on the world, and he realized what was happening. He grasped my arm and kissed the back of my hand. "Is it morning yet?" He moaned with a hazy voice.
I kissed his cheek again. "Almost. It's still pretty early."
"Oh...m'kay...." He said. Then he fell silent for a moment, and pushed himself back against me. "Dude, you are super hard right now! Hehehe!"
"You're right. I am." I smiled.
"That's hot." He wiggled his butt a little, and I was forced to push myself against him again. It started off as a playful tease for him at first, but then he began to feel the passion in our closeness...and he was quick to submit himself to the moment. A soft whimper curled up in the back of his throat, and he started to roll his hips in a way that made me weak in the knees.
A few more kisses got me to start grinding against him again. With him awake and participating like this...it was so much more satisfying. He craned his neck back to kiss me on the lips, and before I knew what was happening, he had pulled his underwear off and was kicking them off to get lost under the warm bed sheets. That boy could be so very eager when he wanted to be. He reached into my boxers to fish out the rigid shaft he was looking for, and unceremoniously tried to angle it in a way that would enter his tightness and get things moving in a whole other direction.
I giggled quietly and pulled my hips back a bit, moving his hand away. 'Not like this', I thought to myself. Not in some spontaneous morning rush. When the time comes...it'll truly be something special. Something we'll both remember for a lifetime. So despite Dustin's insistent writhing and growing frustration, I took him by the wrist and crossed his arms up on his chest to hold him still. Hehehe, and even then it seemed like he was trying to use those sexy legs of his to his advantage. Instead, I just continued to hump myself against him, now with more a fever. Breathing hard. Sucking on the side of his neck as he began to relax and get absorbed by the sensual movements we made together.
Now exposed, the softness of his skin was even more bewitching. Every nerve ending in my throbbing length was triggered and set ablaze by the flex of pliable muscle pressed against it. The only thing sexier than Dustin's desperate wiggling were the 'purring kitten' sounds that he made as he closed his eyes and blindly threw himself into the experience. We were both so breathless. So turned on. And as I rubbed myself against him, I found that I could barely distinguish my moans from Dustin's.
The physical pleasure was mind-blowing...but it was the love we shared that made it such a religious experience. You have no idea what it's like to truly, truly, be this close to someone you love with your whole heart. Someone who not only accepts that love, but sends it back to you in ways so quick, so eager and impulsive, that it comes off as almost being careless. That's the spark of youth, I suppose. And that's why it takes true love and a delicate sensibility to appreciate such a fragile thing...without abusing it.
I allowed my right arm to release Dustin's wrist, now that he was too involved with what was going on to push things any further...and my hand glided down the frictionless surface of his pale skin to reach the pulsating inches in front of him, leaking their sweet nectar on the sheets. Just wrapping my fingers around it caused it to jump and swell with such a jolt that I'm surprised that he didn't burst immediately. With both of us laying on our sides, my other arm wormed its way under his shoulder and crossed his chest to pull him closer and tongue kiss him deeply. His boyish moans got louder now, and he began to push himself in and out of my grip. Always in a rush for release. Hehehe, as long as he enjoys himself...he can have whatever he wants.
Our emotional coupling became more intense. Our kissing binding us together. And suddenly, without any warning at all, Dustin broke our liplock and rolled his face into the pillow to squeal desperately...his over excited shaft throbbing wildly in my hand and spraying the sheets with one thick stream of heated semen after another. The pure volume of it was impressive. A good four or five jets before it began to dribble down the back of my fingers. And even after it had finished its grand fireworks display...the warm shaft twitched and shivered with tiny aftershocks, the blushed, rose colored head of it, looking exhausted from such a powerful outburst. It was the sexiest thing that I've ever experienced. Hands down.
Between that, and Dustin's cute little ass clutching the length of my hardness from his intense release...I found myself unable to hold on for a second longer. Gripping the boy's lithe body with both arms, I gave him a few more anxious pushes before I crossed the threshold and erupted on the small of his back. Over and over, I felt those juicy cheeks of his caress me in the hottest way, and I slammed my eyes shut as I squeezed him tight and tried to ride my orgasm out as best as I could. My God...the sensation nearly shook me to pieces!
Heavy breathing. Tender kisses. And the gradual floating back down to Earth as we shared another loving moment...coated in gold.
And, without even knowing it, I whisper, "I love you, Dustin."
Suddenly, he springs up and rolls over on top of me. Knocking the wind out me as usual. "I love you too, Eric!" He grinned, and kissed me on the lips. "You have no idea how AWESOME that was. I swear, you're like...the most amazing boyfriend in existence. I mean, you know that right? You believe me?"
"Hehehe, yes, Dustin. I believe you." I said, and he squirmed on top of me for a moment to get more comfortable.
He was propped up on his elbows, looking down at me with a smirk. "You should have done it all the way. You didn't even take your boxers off. The next time we do it, I want you to put it in me, ok? And then..."
"Shhhh....just kiss me. You talk too much." I giggled.
"No, really. I'm serious. It'll be cool. I wanna know what it feels like."
"Yeah. You've been really 'subtle' about your feelings on that." I said sarcastically.
"So? What are you waiting for?"
I looked him in the eye, and I said, "Maybe that's something I'm saving for our wedding day."
I was just joking around, to be honest. I said it without really putting much thought into it at all. But something about those few words truly caught Dustin by surprise. His whole demeanor changed. At first I was afraid that I had said something wrong. That perhaps I had touched a nerve, or crossed some invisible line. But as I saw that exuberant glimmer in his big blue eyes begin to mist over with emotion, I realized that Dustin was just being overwhelmed with the idea that I'd want to keep him around for that long. That I'd be willing to make such a commitment to him, love him unconditionally, and never let him go.
Just before his eyes watered up, he leaned down and hugged me around the neck, hiding the emotion in his face over my shoulder. "I would TOTALLY marry you, Eric! Totally!" He sniffled. Hehehe, I take it that he's happy then?
I didn't make him move. I don't think he wanted me to see him with tears in his eyes. So I just held him for a moment, my hand accidentally running over the sticky mess that I made on his backside. I must have been pretty excited myself. I probably need to rehydrate myself after an explosion of that magnitude.
Suddenly...Dustin's head popped up and he rolled off of me, careful to hid his eyes as he quickly wiped them on the back of his hand. The whole fluid movement happened so fast that he nearly pulled the covers off of the bed. And he stood up. Naked. His back to me, and that delicious peach of an ass staring back at me. "I'm gonna take a shower! Are you gonna make breakfast?"
"Hehehe, am I making breakfast now?" I said.
He looked back and said, "Well...you don't have to." Which was basically Dustin's way of saying, 'it would really SUCK if you didn't'.
"I guess I'm making us breakfast then."
"Do you have sausages? The link kind though. Not the patty kind."
"Yes, Dustin. I've got link sausages."
"You've got eggs, right? Can you scramble 'em?"
"Yes, Dustin. I can scramble some eggs." I grinned.
"Do you have a toaster?"
"GO! Hehehe, take your shower! I know what breakfast is. Just go get cleaned up. I'll work something out."
With a grin, he said, "M'kay!" Then he walked out of the bedroom. I looked up at the ceiling, still tingling from being so in love, and that's when Dustin's naked body walked back into the room and he crawled up on the bed again. He kissed me on the cheek with a loud noise. "MWAH! I LOVE YOU!"
"Will you go take your shower already? Hehehe! Beat it!" I threw a pillow at him as he giggled sweetly and hurried out of the room. "Be careful in there! Put a rug down. Because..."
He called back with, "I know, I know. The floor is slippery. I remember!"
That boy has me twisted up in ways that I never thought possible. Honestly, this kind of connection is unprecedented for me. Have I truly found a soul mate here? I mean...all gorgeous looks and sexual activity aside...have I really found the love of someone that I can 'talk' to? Laugh with? Someone who brightens my day just by knowing that he loves me so completely? As soon as I heard the water running in the tub, I actually found myself getting up and putting on a robe so that I could get breakfast working. Hehehe, Dustin has totally turned me into a housewife. I was actually worried that I wouldn't have something sizzling before he got out of the shower. Everything about it was so super normal. So natural. We really were a couple, weren't we? How weird is that?
That was our morning. We had breakfast, we watched some TV while Dustin and I exchanged kisses during the commercials, and we enjoyed the rays of sunshine coming in through the curtains of my living room. Dustin had a habit of taking my hand and putting it into his undies. Hehehe, I still don't know why he takes such comfort in having me hold him like that, but he never asked, and I never denied him. It was just how we sat together on the couch. And even without any stimulation at all, I could feel him harden and soften, pulse and relax, all on its own. Your manhood has so much life in it at that age. It made me smile.
I couldn't get him to go home without at least one more sexual act for the day. He demanded a 69 on the living room floor before he even thought about getting fully dressed again. Just as well. I truly craved the taste of him anyway. And the offering he gave was just as sweet as the one he splashed across my bedroom sheets earlier that morning. By the time I dropped him off at his house, we had reached a whole new level of intimacy. Not sexually. Just...the way we looked at one another, smiled at one another, had evolved into something much more beautiful. Much more graceful. And when he said goodbye to me...I was nearly moved to tears.
I so badly wanted him to stay with me. For just a few more minutes, if not forever.
So this is it. This is where I choose to either dedicate my heart to the most wonderful boy that I've ever known before in my life. Or...I do the noble thing, and I walk away before all of this spins out of control and I end up ruining the rest of my life.
I was so strong before. Dustin and I were together for weeks of fun and laughs and general high jinx before ever sharing our first kiss. Weeks after that before the clothes came off. We spent the whole Summer in love before the words ever left our mouths. But it was real. So real. If I was ever going to jeopardize the rest of my existence, including my freedom...it had better be for something real.
Dustin and me...we were real.
He's more than worth it. And when I go back to work tomorrow...I hope Jack will understand that. Because I've never been so happy to be so lost in another person. I'll do anything to make that boy happy. Anything at all.
I just hope the world will one day understand.
Wishful thinking, right?