Date: Thu, 17 Jan 2008 17:58:26 +0000 From: pinkpanther2@hotmail.co.uk Subject: 'A Warm April Saturday' chapter 19 All the usual disclaimers apply. If for some reason, you shouldn't be reading this, then don't, okay? If you do, neither I nor Nifty will be responsible if the bogey men catch up with you! Feedback, including constructive criticism, is always welcome and I always reply to it. So if you have not written before, or if you've not written for a while, please send your comments to pinkpanther2@hotmail.co.uk and I'll reply as soon as I can. CHAPTER NINETEEN Lying in bed, thoughts whizzing round my head, like they have been most of the night; I don't know how much sleep I've had, but it's not much. I feel worn out. I flick on the bedside light; it's ten to six. I'll have to get up for school in just over an hour. I'm not looking forward to it, but I'll have to go. The same question keeps gnawing away at me. Why? Why did he go? I don't understand it. Was it something I did? How can it have been? I'd have done anything for him. I guess mum asking him to sell his apartment so that they could buy a house together was a big part of it, but, like she wasn't supposed to do that? That's exactly what I wanted to happen so we'd have had him with us all the time. Well, he wasn't going to do it so he left. But d'you know what really hurts? He lied to me; he let me think everything was going to be okay when he knew it wasn't. He knew if he told me he was going to split up with mum I'd have been upset; tried to persuade him to stay. He didn't want to face that so he lied; he betrayed me. I thought he was the most wonderful person in the whole world; I gave him everything I could and he betrayed me. I guess it shouldn't be that much of a surprise. He's been lying to mum all the way along, hasn't he, making her think that he loved her when all he really wanted was to fuck my arse. And I helped him do it; I was so crazy about him I just didn't see it. He moved on from Harry to me; now he's moved on to some other kid. I feel hurt, betrayed, angry, and there's no-one I can talk to about it, not really. There's only a few people know about me and James, and they all live miles away, except Brad, of course, but I hardly know the kid. Somehow I'm going to have to get through this, and I'm going to have to do it pretty much on my own. People won't understand why I'm so upset; as far as they know James was just my mum's boyfriend. And I can't tell them; it'd get back to mum. Then she'd know what a deceitful little shit I've been. 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 "You okay?" Michael asks as we make our usual walk to school. "Mum and James have split up," I tell him. "Shit! That bad man! I thought they were going to get married or something!" "Yeah; that's what we both thought." That's another lie I've just told; I knew that was never going to happen. "I bet your mum's upset; things a bit rough at home, then?" "Yeah, a bit." I tell him. "Sorry, man," he says, shaking his head sadly. We complete our walk in silence. 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 Tutor group and our first two classes go past in a blur. I'm trying, but my concentration's all over the place. Fuck knows what Tom must be thinking. We head out to morning break. Tom needs to go to the boys' room. I don't go with him; it gives me an excuse to wander off on my own. I just need a few minutes to try to straighten my head out. As make my way outside to get some fresh air, Brad comes across to me. "You okay, man?" he asks, looking concerned. Shit! Is it that obvious? I was wondering whether I should say anything to Brad. I guess I might as well; I'll burst if I don't talk to someone. We wander round the side of the technology block where nobody can hear us. "Mum and James have split up," I say quietly. "Oh, it looked like someone might have been giving you a hard time. James, that your mum's boyfriend, yeah?" "Yeah." "So he's found himself another kid to fuck." he says, more a statement than a question. "Yeah, that's what it seems like." "So how long were you together?" "Since last Easter." "Oh, you had a decent innings then," he says grinning. What the fuck? I can't believe he just said that! Maybe talking to him wasn't such a good idea after all. "That's the way it is with guys like him," he says casually, "most of them anyway. They get bored. Sounds like you liked him a lot." "Yeah, it wasn't just the sex; he helped me with all sorts of stuff, school work, everything." "So was that how it started, you know, before he started doing the other stuff?" "Yeah." "And I guess you really liked that, yeah?" "Oh yeah! I never knew my dad, and mum's always had to work. Nobody's ever spent time with me the way he did. He was great fun to be with too." "So when he wanted to get into your underpants, you weren't going to say no." "No, I mean I liked it anyway, but I'd have done anything he wanted." "So that's his pack drill, then," Brad says. "Find a single mum with nice looking kid who really goes for all that attention, and he's in business, yeah?" "Yeah, I guess." I say sadly. "I still don't really understand why he went though; we used to have great times together, seemed like he enjoyed it as much as I did." "I bet he did, especially at the start." Brad says, looking at me intently. "Some guys are into sports cars, yeah? They get one, and to start with it's so much fun they love it to bits. But after a while they've done everything it can do; it don't matter how good it is, it's just not exciting any more, so they start to get bored with it. Then they start thinking about changing it for something else. That's all it is; he's traded you in for a new one." He pauses for a moment. "Any idea what triggered him off, you know, leaving like that?" "Mum wanted him to sell his apartment so they could buy a house together." "Well, he was never going to do that, was he?" he says gently. "There's your answer then." "Yeah; it's still hard though. I keep wondering if I did something wrong." "Look, there's something else you need to know about guys like him," he says quietly. "I've met a few of them, mates of my stepdad, yeah? One thing they all go for is fresh meat, a kid nobody's had before. The other thing is that they all have an age that they go for. There's this one guy, yeah, back when I was ten he went nuts for me; won't even look at me now. A couple of others weren't interested then; they like me like this, but by the time I'm fifteen or sixteen they won't fancy me either. The only thing you did wrong was to start growing up." "But your stepdad's been doing stuff with you for years." "Yeah, but that's a bit different; he didn't have a pot to piss in when he moved in with us, so he's sort of stuck with me. I know he liked me a lot more a couple of years back though." "Yeah, but it's still weird," I protest. "Last Saturday me and James had one of our best times ever." "Yeah, well that's sort of like the guy with the sports car, yeah? He's decided he wants a change, sorted out what he's going to have, but before he swaps over he takes the old one out one last time, gives it a real blast, just so he'll remember how good it was." I hate hearing him describe it like that, it sounds so hard; but what can I say? He's nailed it hasn't he? "Tell you what," he says, smiling, and talking even quieter, right close to my ear. "In a few years when he's thinking back, he's going to say "I never met another kid like that Chris; he was the best ever. I must have been stupid to get rid of him the way I did."" "Thanks Brad," I say quietly. "No problem!" he says, still smiling. "I've been round guys like him for long enough; you get to know how it works." He's tried so hard to make me feel better; I want to kiss him, but I guess that wouldn't be a good idea right now. The bell goes for our next class and we go our separate ways. 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 The weekend's hard. The chat with Brad did help; it told me that none of this is my fault; it's all down to James. The problem is that it doesn't mean I miss him any less. I miss him terribly; I keep hoping that any moment he'll walk through the door and everything will be like it was. But he won't, and it wouldn't work if he did. So I hang out with Michael. He tries to be helpful, but he just doesn't get it. Why should he? He hasn't got a clue how close me and James really were, and I can't possibly tell him. I go round to Tom's house to do some work on our new science project. It passes the time but my heart's just not in it. As it goes, Tom seems to understand what I'm going through much better than Michael does. With me and Michael having always been so close I didn't expect that, but Tom's been through some shit himself, so I guess it's down to that. So Monday rolls round and it's back to school. I pretty well sleep- walk my way through it, doing enough to keep my head above water but very little more. And in case you're wondering, I haven't even thought about sex; I'm just not interested right now. It's the end of our tutor group period on Tuesday morning when Mr. Sheridan asks me to stay behind. I've been expecting this; I'm going to get a bollocking for wasting my time these last few days. "Pull up a chair and sit down," he says quietly. I do as he says. "Right, Chris," he asks. "So what's been going on?" I don't say anything; I really don't know what I can say. "Christopher" he continues gently, "the last few days you've been moping out looking really miserable. Your work's been poor too. I've noticed and so have several of your other teachers. Now that's just not like you. There's clearly a problem and I need to know what it is. And don't worry, whatever you tell me is confidential, as far as it can be. I may need to say something to Mr. Birkett, but that's it." I swallow hard. "Mum's split up with her boyfriend," I tell him nervously. "So I guess your mum's pretty upset, yeah?" "Yeah." I pause. I could get away with leaving it there, but that makes it sound like it's down to mum giving me a hard time, and that's not fair. "It's not just that, though, sir," I say. "James helped me a lot, with school work and all sorts of stuff. Mum always made sure I worked hard, but before he came along I never thought I was that good at anything. After he started helping me I just got, well, a lot more confident, I guess." "So he helped you to believe in yourself. Well, I can understand why you're missing him. When did he come on the scene, then?" "Last Easter." "Interesting; the report we had from your junior school said you'd really come on during that last term, so that explains it, I guess." "Yeah; he'd have made a great teacher." I take a deep breath. "I never knew my dad," I say quietly, not even looking at him. "Mum's had other boyfriends, but none of them ever took any interest in me." "Right," he says gently, smiling at me. "Thanks for being so honest. All I can say is that you need to take the positives out of this. Over the last year you've proved to yourself that you can do well; you've done superbly since you've been here. You need to take that forward. And just remember, I'm here if you need someone to talk to. I know it's hard right now, but you can come through it, okay?" "Yes, sir. Thanks." I'm on my way. There was no bollocking, just Mr. Sheridan proving what a great teacher he is. I won't forget that either. 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 Things have got better the last two days. I still miss James, of course; I really missed him last night when I got home from school, but somehow I'm starting to get over it. I'm working much better; the last couple of evenings I've probably worked harder than I ever have, I guess it helps to keep my mind off things. Mainly it's for me, of course, but it's for mum too; she seems to be taking it very well, but underneath she has to be hurting. The last thing she needs is me losing the plot. I'm not sure if I ever will go and chat to Mr. Sheridan, but just knowing that he said I could if I needed to; that means a lot. There is one problem though; I'm getting horny again. Right now I'm so horny I daren't even touch myself in case I cum in my boxers. I've just finished lunch; I make an excuse to the other lads and head off to find Brad. He's not about. Shit! I can't wait till after school `cause it's activities evening and several of the workshops get used, so there'll be people about. There's nothing for it; I head straight to the technology block. I'm pretty careful, just like always, making sure nobody's watching me. I make my way into the building and go straight to the boys' room. Both stalls are empty. There's someone at the urinal furthest from the door. He turns as he hears me come in. It's a big, fat, ugly kid; sure, he's got a hard on AND he's playing with it, but he is gross! There's no way I'd go with him, however horny I was. I turn and leave, almost in a panic, quickly heading back the way I came. As I turn down the side of the building Nathan Yardley's walking towards me. I pretend not to notice, but when he's gone past and turned towards the door I double back and follow him. After seeing him with Anthony, I can't imagine him going with the fat kid either. Very nervously I push open the door of the boys' room. The fat kid's still where he was; Nathan's at the urinal closest to the door, which is sort of at right angles to where the other kid is. We grin at each other; I walk straight ahead into one of the stalls and allow him to follow me. In a matter of seconds our blazers are hung on the hook behind the door and our trousers and boxer shorts are down round are ankles. What happens next is a shock. There's no build up at all; Nathan produces a tube of gel and quickly smears it over his cock. He positions me over the toilet just like Anthony was and lubes me up just as fast. A moment later he spears his big teen cock right into me and starts fucking me senseless. How he knew I'd be able to take it like that I've no idea. Him just stuffing it in like that was a bit painful, even for me; if I hadn't been used to it I'd have screamed the place down. I guess I shouldn't complain; now he's in there and going for it, it feels awesome! Fuck! I really needed this! He's holding me round the hips. I try to get him to play with my cock but he won't do it. Maybe he wants to suck me off after he's cum. I don't think so; once he's spunked up my bum he'll be out of here, just like when I saw him with Anthony. Anyway, I want to cum, and I want it now! So I do it myself. All it takes is a couple of strokes then the muscle spasms hit. As my legs turn to jelly I grab the toilet seat, balls churning, my bum flaring and tightening around Nathan's thrusting cock. In the next instant my spunk surges through my dick and spurts all over the place. Seems like that makes him fuck me even harder, pounding my arse without missing a beat. Suddenly he grabs me even tighter, pulling me right onto him. His cock rears up inside me, his creamy spunk flooding over and over into my bum. Wow! That was an amazing fuck! He pauses for maybe five seconds then quickly pulls out. That's a bit painful too. I wasn't wrong; before I've even moved from over the toilet he's dressed and gone. It's the following morning when I see him again, on his own, heading towards the sixth form study area. I stroll across to him. "Hi," I say quietly. "Don't follow me," he says coldly. "What I do in there stays in there, okay?" He strides away. I'm hurt. Yeah, I guess I'm a bit sensitive just now, but even so, I wouldn't have expected that. So much for him being Mr. Wonderful; as far as he's concerned all I am is another cute little arse to fuck. I was thinking that with him living pretty close to me, things might have developed, into something, you know, a bit more, yeah? Well, it's pretty clear that's not going to happen. 0 o 0 o 0 o 0 This is it; the day I've been waiting for. This morning after break me and Tom get to race each other. It's the year seven cross-country championship. Each tutor group has to pick six kids to run for them; at the end you add up the positions of the first four finishers from each group and the lowest score wins. Well, with everything that's been going on, I haven't even thought about it. Yeah, I feel better than I did, but I'm not `back to normal' or anything like it. As I start to get my kit ready I give myself a mental kick up the arse. Even if Tom wins it, me and Alwyn should get second and third and Andrew can probably make the top six. As long as Josh or one of the others runs okay, there's a very good chance we can win it. I'm not going to let the other kids down by running like an idiot! I sit on my bed and open the drawer to get my gym shorts. The white running shorts that James bought for me are lying there. I pick them up and look at them. I've never worn them, mainly `cause I'd have had to wear them for gym as well; it'd have felt like I was showing off or something. Today's different; I want to show off a bit, you know, like these shorts say, "yeah, I'm here to run!" I stuff them into my bag. The changing room is crowded; six boys from each tutor group makes forty eight of us, rather than the twenty seven we usually have, so this will be the biggest race I've been in. It'll be the toughest too, and not just `cause Tom's here. All these kids can run a bit or they wouldn't have got picked. If I start as slowly as I usually do I could get caught right at the back. I'll have to watch that; I don't want to go mad, just start a bit faster. Wearing the running shorts means taking my boxers off; not a problem, I do it before I take my shirt off so nobody can see. Right next to me, Alwyn's putting running shorts on too, black ones, only he's not as coy as I was; strips right off then puts them on. He's got a beautiful little body! The sewn-in briefs feel a bit odd at first, but the shorts are so easy to move in, I guess that's why runners wear them like that. We head out onto the field. It's a fine day, with sort of pale sunshine and just a light breeze, the weather just starting to get warmer. It's been dry for a couple of weeks so the course won't be muddy, but it's still soft enough for spikes to go in easily. As I put them on I take a look around. Alwyn isn't just wearing running shorts, he's wearing a black running vest with a badge on too. I'm guessing that must be the local athletics club kit, although he's never mentioned it. Most of the other kids are just in their ordinary gym kit. The one kid I do notice is Liam. He's wearing the same kit as Alwyn; he's got spikes on too, looks like he might give me a good race. "Don't worry about him," Alwyn mutters, "He does high jump, hurdles, that sort of thing; he's not much good at this." That's good to hear. Most of the other kids are chatting. I'm not; this is serious business. For the first time ever I'm nervous. I check that I've put my spikes on properly; I don't want them working loose. I can see Tom prowling around. He's not chatting either, but he never does. As long as I run well he's the one I'll have to beat. I follow Alwyn's lead in doing a few stretches and stride-outs, just getting ourselves loose. We line up; my heart's thumping. The hooter sounds and we're away. With all the adrenalin flowing I have to stop myself bolting off like a frightened rabbit. I do start faster than usual though, taking the first corner in about eighth place. As we make the long run along the far side of the field I gradually work my way through, getting up to the leaders just before we reach the gate. As we head in to the woods there are four of us together, Tom, Alwyn, Andrew and me; looks pretty good for the team race. The pace is fierce, definitely faster than we usually go. We drop Andrew almost immediately; another quarter mile and Alwyn's gone too, so now it's just me and Tom. The pace is relentless. Tom's not used to having company when he runs in his gym class; seems he doesn't like it much. If I try to get right onto his shoulder; he pushes on even harder; I settle in right behind him. We make the turn at the oak tree. This is usually where I try to get away; there's no chance of that, I'm struggling just to stay in touch. This hurts! My chest feels like it's on fire. I'm not giving it up though. We run along the fence, kids are shouting us on from the other side. I hear Daryl's voice. "Go on, Chris! You can do it!" That's pretty special; I wouldn't have thought he'd be interested. We approach the gate, the pace not slackening for a second. So what's going to happen as we cross the field? Can Tom sprint the way I usually do? I don't know. Will I be able to sprint? I'm not sure. We make the turn, three hundred yards to go. The noise of kids shouting us on is intense. I move out a little, somehow managing to get right onto Tom's shoulder again. I can hear Mr. Sheridan; he's going nuts, shouting himself hoarse. It's like I'm on automatic pilot, running without even thinking about it. Yard by yard the finish line gets closer, me and Tom running stride for stride. Two hundred yards left, one fifty, a hundred, eighty, the noise getting louder the nearer we get. Tom's still got half a yard on me. I'm running flat out and my chest's about to explode; how can I possibly sprint? I don't know but I've got to try. Sixty yards left, maybe a bit less; I push up onto my toes and drive for the line. Everything's a blur; I'm sort of aware of hitting the front and that's about it. I cross the line not really sure whether I've won or not. I move through the finish funnel feeling dizzy and light headed. At the far end I'm given a ticket. I look at it through bleary eyes. It's got the number "1" on it. Fuck! I've done it! I've actually won! It's the hardest thing I've ever done, like nothing else even comes close. Once clear of the finish area, I sink down onto my knees, bending forwards so my head's almost on the ground, heart thumping, lungs burning. Nothing can ever be as hard as that was! Slowly the dizziness ebbs away, oxygen getting back to my brain, my breathing starting to get easier. I flip over so I'm sitting on the ground. Tom's right there next to me. He extends a hand. "Well done," he says quietly. It's a very special moment. Mutual respect; we both gave everything we had, just in the last few strides I was able to find a bit more. Pretty soon everyone's back. Alwyn got third like I expected; with Andrew fifth and Josh eleventh, it looks like we've easily won the team race. Mr. Sheridan's well happy, like he just won the lottery. He seems happy for me, especially. After the little chat we had last week, I guess he knows how important that was. He's definitely the best teacher I've ever had; probably the best I'll ever have. Mr. Maynard bustles across to us; he's ecstatic. "Fantastic stuff lads!" he says showing us the time sheet. "That's the best race we've had since I've been here!" I ran eight fifty six; Tom ran eight fifty seven. Wow! I knew it was quick but I'd never even thought about getting under nine minutes. That's amazing! Alwyn ran nine minutes twelve, which is a best for him too. "I doubt if the year eight kids will run that fast," he tells us, giving me and Tom a gentle pat on the back. As we head back towards the gym, Daryl comes across to me. "Well done," he says. "You were amazing. I wish I'd had a camera with me; you look really beautiful when you're running." I appreciate that; he really meant it. The presentations are right outside the changing room. Winning both the individual and the team prize; it can't get much better than that. We go back inside to get changed. I'm sticky and sweaty and aching all over. I'm going to have a shower and fuck what anyone else thinks. I strip off, grab my towel and make my way through. The warm water is so relaxing, exactly what I need. A few of the other boys join me, including Jerome, who looks even more stunning naked than he usually does. As it goes I pay him no attention; that's not important right now. Today's been a turning point. I proved something to myself out there; when it really matters, I can do it. Now that IS important.