Date: Tue, 20 May 2014 21:09:57 -0400 From: Eff Del Subject: Flights of Angels-Chapter 13 Flights of Angels-Chapter 13 By Eff Del Hidden deep within even the happiest of hearts is the voice that attempts to entice us to succumb to fear. Fear is not the lack of courage. It is not the absence of resolve. It is the false believe that hope is in vain and that valor is worthless. It is the lie that strives to keep us from achieving...to keep us from reaching beyond our limits...from life itself. Never give in to fear. Never listen to the lie. Strive. Achieve. Believe. To do so is to know the truth. As I returned to my study and let my body sink into the comforting embrace of the soft leather of my chair, I realized that I was soon to be a part of the extraordinary commentary I had been reading. Thinking back to my original internet inquiry on that afternoon that seemed now to have occurred so long ago, I remembered that young Jack had been relatively new in his career as a boy for hire. If my memory served me, I believed that I was only his fourth or fifth `client' and I'd chosen him for his newness as well as his unique good looks. Yes, almost certainly I was soon to become a part of the young man's startlingly forthright narrative and my natural curiosity couldn't be stifled from engaging in speculation. I was anticipating reading about how my actions were perceived that significant night in my penthouse in Houston. I drew a deep breath and returned to my reading. ******************************************************************************************** The room that they put me in to rest that first night back was nice. It was very quiet because it was at the top of the building and on the far side away from the quad. They left me pretty much alone; even Proctor Nick didn't come back after he'd got me settled in. They brought me my dinner right to the room and the guy who brought it even asked me if I'd like wine. That hadn't ever happened before except when I was having practice contracts and of course that first week with Tip. I said that I would like some wine. I enjoyed the way it tasted and I liked the way it calmed me down and made me feel warm and relaxed. I thought it was great except of course, for that one time with Tip that I drank too much and got sick. I never wanted to do that again. When I finished my dinner I got into the bed planning on watching a movie on the TV. They'd left me the whole bottle of wine and I drank it slowly while I sat back watching the film. It must have made me sleepy because I don't remember how the movie ended. One minute I was watching and the next; it was morning. While I was in the shower, I was wondering if I was supposed to go downstairs for breakfast or what I was supposed to do. That question was answered when I walked out of the bathroom and found that somebody had delivered a cart with my breakfast tray on it. I was really hungry that morning so I didn't even bother getting dressed. I just sat down and ate breakfast. I had noticed over the past couple of years was that I liked being naked a lot. It was comfortable and it made me feel good. I did get dressed though because I didn't know what was going to happen that day. It was kind of a good thing that I did, because no sooner did I have my clothes on than the guy showed up to take the cart and my dishes and stuff. I didn't know him and he didn't introduce himself he just smiled and asked if everything had been OK. I told him it was and he left with all the stuff. Pretty soon after that, there was a knock on my door and I opened it and there was Tadpole standing there with one of his big smiles. I was so glad to see him. We sat down on the couch and of course he asked me about my contract just like I'd asked Tip that time I'd seen him after his first one. Just like Tip, I told Tadpole that I couldn't really talk about it to him but I did say that it had gone OK. He's a smart little guy and he got the message right away and so we talked about lots of other stuff instead. After about an hour though, he had to go and I was left all alone again and I was bored and lonely. That didn't last long though because, after about a half an hour, Proctor Nick came in and pretty soon we were sitting down talking about the past few days. "You did very well especially for your first time Jack." He told me. "The review from Mr. Chang was outstanding and by the way, he placed a very nice bonus into your account. If you keep up like this, you're going to have a very nice sum of money waiting for you when you age out of the Academy." I acted like I understood but I really only kind of did. I'd never had any need for money my whole life so far so I didn't really know why it should suddenly be so important to me. He must have guessed that from the way I was looking because he said; "Since you were a baby Jack, the Academy has taken care of you, nurtured you and raised you. You've never had to worry about anything or be afraid of anything. You've been provided for and supported far better than most children out there in the normal world. The Academy is a very special place Jack and you are very lucky to be one of the special boys raised here. I know you don't know a lot about how money works Jack but I know you understand that things cost and everything has a price. It is very, very expensive to run a place as wonderful as the Academy Jack, very expensive. Therefore, it is the duty, the obligation of all our boys as they get older to do what they can to help keep the Academy up and running strong. It's really more than a duty Jack...it is a pleasure for each boy to contribute to the welfare and prosperity of the Academy and all of the younger boys... just as those boys before you have done so that you could have the wonderful carefree childhood you've had. Do you understand?" I told him that I thought I did. We all knew for years before our training began that going out on contracts was how a Nester helped keep the NEST going. I knew it was our responsibility I guess I just wasn't sure how that worked. "We have many friends Jack; important friends out in the normal world. They ensure that we receive the money we need to keep the Academy going. Thanks to them we get a great deal of money from the government and donations from charities and foundations as well. Yes, of course, the clients pay us extraordinarily well to spend time with our boys but don't forget that we reserve a percentage of that money for each individual boy...for you for instance. You see Jack, while we receive a lot of money from the contracts, it isn't nearly enough to keep a place like this going but it doesn't have to be either." I know I looked confused and he smiled because I think he expected me to be. "There are many important men out in the normal world Jack who truly enjoy the company and...services of clever and skilled young boys. This is a thing that cannot easily be found in the normal world out there. They are willing to pay almost any price for the...company of delightful and cooperative boys. The Academy has a worldwide reputation for producing the brightest, friendliest and most talented companions to be found anyplace. So, besides being willing to pay a great deal of money for each contract, these men ensure that money reaches the Academy in other ways so that we can continue our important work of raising and educating the fine young companions that all Academy boys grow up to be. They are far more focused on the quality of the boy than the cost of the contract. Now, these same important men seem to not have as much interest in older boys and young men and so, as an Academy boy reaches 18, he must be made ready to leave us and move out into the normal world. We do that for our boys as well as your own Lead-Senior Tip has been finding out. That is why the education...the knowledge you receive is among the best in the world; why you are all trained to excel at sports, music...whatever interests you. Academy boys are the best companions but Academy men turn into superior citizens in the world outside of the Academy. Therefore having money and earning scholarships will be important as you grow older and enter the next stage of your life. Remember Jack, you're only expected to be a Contract Boy for three years or so...not a big price to pay for all you have been given and all you will receive in the future. Do you follow me?" I told him that I thought I did though actually he'd just given me a whole lot to think about. Without actually saying anything, he sort of guided me out the sliding door and onto the balcony. I hadn't been out there yet so I was a little surprised to see there was a small refrigerator by the wall. Proctor Nick opened it up and pulled out two cans of beer. He handed one to me and smiled. "This is your first beer isn't it?" I nodded my head. "Beer is a great thing Jack. Benjamin Franklin once said that `beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.' I don't know about that, but I know I sure enjoy a nice cold one when I'm trying to kick back and think." It was a beautiful day for the late fall. The sun felt warm against my skin and yet the air was crisp as a very soft wind blew in from across the campus Being on the top floor of the large building, the view was really nice and I was thinking to myself; "What a great idea he'd had to come out here." He popped the top on his beer and took a sip. I did the same thing and to be honest, I wasn't sure what I thought about it. I know it sure didn't taste like I thought it would. I took another couple of sips though and it kind of got better each time. It was just so different from anything I'd ever tasted before. Proctor Nick was leaning on the railing looking out over the soccer pitch sipping his beer and finally he said; "Jack, the Proctors that conducted your after-contract interview have told me that you feel pain when you're being fucked. Is that true?" I told him it was. He turned and looked at me like I don't remember ever being looked at before. "Now Jack, you're way beyond the point where something as simple as that should still hurt. I wonder if you're really trying hard enough to relax and enjoy it. You know, it would be a really bad thing if one of your clients should find out they were hurting you...they might think that maybe you hadn't been trained right. Do you understand that Jack?" I couldn't stand the way he was looking at me so I looked down at my feet. I felt like I'd really done something wrong like I'd really screwed up for the first time in my life. "So you see Jack, it's very important that you get over this. Most boys at your age really enjoy being fucked especially by a client who was paying so much money to be with him and to show him a good time. Most boys look at it like a party; a really fun experience." I didn't say anything but I was wondering how true that was. Somehow I didn't think I was the only boy that didn't enjoy being fucked. I wasn't even able to relax and enjoy it when it had been Tip fucking me and I'd do anything for Tip. I knew I'd never be able to relax and get used to it if all my clients turned out be like Mr. Chang. Proctor Nick took a long drink from his beer and threw the can into the trash can. He reached over and kind of patted me on my shoulder. "So, you need to work on getting your thinking straight about that eh Jack. We can't have the Clients thinking you aren't enjoying their company can we? It's important to them that they feel their companions are having a good time and look forward to being with them." With that, he left. I stayed one more night up in that room and the next morning they told me I could go back to the dorm. About four weeks later, I was in one of the music rooms working on a piece with Roger, a 14 year old who played the cello in our orchestra. It was the Beethoven Violin and cello duet in C major and Proctor Maestro had told us that if we perfected our performance, he would feature us in the next concert. I was so involved that I didn't notice the door open and only after I glanced over Roger's shoulder did I see a Proctor standing there. "Jack, you need to go to Director Coleman's office. You've been called on another contract." I just nodded at him and put my violin away in its case. I guess I didn't expect I'd be contracted again so soon. This time it was for a client named Mr. Renault. It turned out he was French but he spoke pretty good English just with a French accent you know? He was taller than Mr. Chang and he had a mustache. Just like always, when I offered to do my strip show instead of just getting undressed, he jumped right on that idea. Unlike Mr. Chang, once I was naked, Mr. Renault seemed to want to look at me and kind of touch me a lot. Finally, he opened a bottle of wine and offered me a glass and then he had me sit on his lap over on his couch. It was really nice wine and to tell you the truth, I didn't mind sitting there drinking it while he sort of played with my cock and balls and legs and nipples and stuff. He didn't do anything enough to make me think I was going to cum or anything like that but it felt nice and the wine was good. I could have stayed like that the whole three days but that didn't happen. Pretty soon he'd had enough of that stuff and he led me into his bed room. He stood by the side of the bed and said; "Take off my clothes Jack." Except with the way he talked with his French accent, my name came out sounding like `Jaock'. I don't know why, but that struck me as funny and I began to laugh. Mr. Renault didn't know what I was laughing about but he was a nice enough guy and he started laughing with me and I started working on his buttons and stuff and pretty soon I had him as naked as I was. He had hair all over his body. His chest, his back, his arms and legs...I'd never seen a person with that much hair but I figured that must be what made him French just like Mr. Chang's eyelids were what made him oriental. His cock was about the size of Tip's; not as long as Mr. Chang's but it was fatter. It was a nice sized one but the thing that kept me looking at it was that it wasn't circumcised. I'd never seen a cock that wasn't circumcised in real life before; only in pictures. Every boy at the NEST was circumcised...I'd just never thought about it until now. Anyway, he smiled at me and spread his arms and says what sounded like; `fair oon pip'. *******************DR. SWAIM NOTE TO ERIC: I am quite certain that the gentleman said; `faire une pipe" which literally translates to; `make a pipe'. In other words; `make a pipe of my penis' or `smoke my penis like a pipe' but is actually common French slang for `give a blow job'. ******************* I know I looked at him very confused and he said; "Like zee pip Jack. To smoke it yes?" I still looked confused and he sort of gestured with his hand down towards his cock. "Jack...embrace my...no not embrace...suck...yes, yes, that's the word...suck my penis." Except it sounded like he said `zuck my painiz' but...I got the idea and dropped to my knees. I'd never sucked an uncircumcised cock before but we'd been taught about them so I had a pretty good idea what to do. I used my lips and my tongue on the skin for a while and then with my thumb and finger I gently sort of pulled it back and...well, the rest came naturally and Mr. Renault sure seemed to enjoy it. He certainly shot a lot of cum into my mouth. After he shot his load, we moved to his bed and that's when I learned that Mr. Renault could give as good as he got. His lips and his tongue were all over me and he kind of slurped my cock into his mouth like spaghetti. He was slow and took a long time and I felt like my cock exploded inside his mouth. He never missed a beat. He rolled me over onto my tummy, pulled my legs apart and was licking away at my ass. He was really good at it and pretty soon I was moaning and thinking to myself that I was going to like this contract. I guess I should have figured that he was getting my hole wet for a reason because after a while, he rolled me over on my side and guided my top leg up. He slipped up real close behind me and suddenly without warning he was pushing his cock up into my asshole. This was the first time I'd been with anybody who thought that just their spit was enough lube to be able to fuck me. Even Mr. Chang used SOME real lube. It was so unexpected and the pain was so strong that I saw like a white flash in front of my eyes. Just like always, my ass muscle kept trying to protect itself by clamping shut even while he was pushing past it. I shoved the side of my hand into my mouth and bit down hard to keep from screaming. Like everyone else that had ever fucked me, he mistook my clamping muscle for something I was doing on purpose and so he thought it was just wonderful as he took long slow stroked in and out of my hole saying all sorts of strange sounding stuff in French while I thought I would pass out from the pain. He never saw me cry and I hid how much it hurt from him every time he fucked me. In a way, it was lucky for me that he seemed to like me sucking him off as much as he liked fucking my ass so I got fucked only about half the time that I would have if he was Mr. Chang. I stayed with Mr. Renault for that whole contract without him once knowing how much he was hurting me. You know what was strange? Neither of us showered that whole time but he kept putting some strong smelling cologne or perfume stuff on me...like behind my ears and on my wrists and ankles. He called me "Bo Roo" all the time and he sure like to kiss a lot and to lick and nibble all over my body and he liked me to do that to him too. At first I was a little nervous because of all of his hair but it wasn't too bad and I was able to make him happy with my mouth. *********************DR. SWAIM NOTE TO ERIC: What Jack heard as `Bo Roo' was surely `beau roux' which is essentially the masculine French form for `beautiful redhead' a very appropriate nickname for the boy.******************************************************* When Proctor Martin picked me up he said that I was batting a thousand and that Mr. Renault had also given me a nice bonus for my account. "Seems you've really got talent kid." Then he sniffed the air in the car real hard a couple of time and said; "But you smell like a French Whorehouse." I didn't understand what that meant but he smiled at me as he said it and then he started laughing. Back at the NEST, after the doctors took a good look at my ass and stuff, I met with the interview guys and this time, I didn't make the same mistake I'd made last time. I didn't tell them that it still hurt me when I was fucked, I told them that everything was great and that Mr. Renault really fucked good...you know stuff like that; what I figured out was what they really wanted to hear. It must have worked because when I had my next talk with Procter Nick, he was all smiles and stuff and pretty soon I was back practicing the duet with Roger. Proctor Maestro told us we were doing it so well that we were going to perform it during the Christmas Concert and we were really happy and excited. Christmas is a special time at the NEST. There are no contracts for us older guys that whole month and we all spend the time singing Christmas songs and making music and making little gifts for each other. It seems like every dinner in December is a kind of a feast and well...we're all just very happy. We don't get a lot a big presents like a lot of the kids out in the Norman world but, truth is; there isn't much that a kid in the NEST needs that he doesn't get; so for us, Christmas time was just a time to have fun and practice being extra nice to each other. Tadpole and me had secretly been practicing the Christmas song "Lo, how a Rose ere Blooming". He would finger pick it out softly on his guitar and I played a quiet melody on my violin and in between we'd worked out a nice harmony for our voices when we sang it. Tadpole loves music...all kinds and he can remember everything he hears. If he hears a piece of music once, he can identify it the next time he hears it. He's got a natural talent for rhythm and harmony and I love his little voice...so pure and sweet. Proctor Choirmaster was always trying to get him to join the choir but the little guy was always too busy with all of his other stuff he did. If he had joined, I'll bet he would have been singing solos; at least until his balls dropped and then...who knows? We sang our duet to the whole Senior Building on Christmas Eve and really got a huge applause and they even asked us to sing it again in the dining hall just before Christmas dinner. Anyway, right after New Year's, things got busy around the NEST. We got told that our orchestra was going out on a two week tour of Texas giving concerts and that Roger and me were going to do the Beethoven duet and I was going to do the third movement of the Sibelius as a solo every concert. That Monday in the afternoon while we were just hanging around the general purpose room, Tadpole told me that him and a bunch of kids from his tier plus the tier over him and the one below were being called in to talk to a group of Proctors and for some reason he was one of the ones they told to come back tomorrow. Since I'd never heard of anything like this happening before, I told him not to worry about it that it must be a good thing though. That next afternoon, he was really excited because he had been told that he was one of only five kids from his tier that had been selected and that tomorrow they were going to meet some guy from a TV station. We still didn't know much more than that but I was excited for him because I knew he was one of the best. I was really busy practicing in one of the music rooms because we were loading into the busses on Sunday to start our tour. I almost forgot about dinner but my growling belly finally reminded me. As I was walking across the quad to the Dining Hall, Tadpole came running up to me. "Rufus guess what?" he was tugging on my arm and jumping and wiggling like he always did. It's hard to be serious or grumpy around him and I just smiled at him because he was so excited and asked; "What?" "He chose me Rufus! I'm gonna be doing a interlude on television!" I kinda had to think about that. See when Tadpole gets really excited, he has a habit of messing up his words and stuff. I think he's thinking and talking so fast things get mixed up you know what I mean? Anyway, I finally asked him; "Do you mean an `interview' Tadpole?" "Yeah!" he says with a big smile. "I'm gonna do a interview on TV! I'm the only kid in my tier! They picked three kids; one from the Twelves, one from the Tens and me from the Elevens! Ain't that excitin'?" I told him it sure was and put my arm around him and we walked off to supper. I caught up with him Friday night and asked him how his interview was and he said it was all right. "It wasn't as excitin' as I thought it was goin' to be Rufus. They had me sit on a stool in a room and there was just the camera man and the guy from the TV station he said his name was Mr. Regent but that I could call him `Phil'. I told him that didn't seem like the right thing to do and that I would call him Mr. Regent if he didn't mind. He kinda just smiled at me and said he didn't mind at all. Anyway, he just asked questions and they were kinda funny questions you know...not the kind that had any real answer to them...more like what I thought about stuff kind of questions. I was mostly telling him about stuff I like and stuff I like to do you know and he got interested when I was talking about the soccer team and when I told him we had a game tomorrow, he asked me if I'd mind if he came and filmed it for the TV show. I guess I got excited about that and I told him sure it would be all right. We talked for a long time so I guess I did all right. I hope we get to see me on the TV. Won't it be cool if they show some of the soccer game? Man! I guess I better do good tomorrow huh?" Well, let me tell you, Tadpole sure did do well in the game on Saturday. He was almost like a one-man team. When he plays soccer...just like when he swims, he becomes something else. It's like he's in in own world. Those other kids from that Norman School they were playing against never knew what hit them. Tadpole scored three goals all by himself. The guy from the TV station was there just like he said he'd be and they videoed the whole game and even a short little interview with Tadpole after the game. The next day, Tadpole walked with me out onto the Quad while the orchestra got onto the busses. He squeezed my arm and said; "Do great Rufus. I wish I was gonna be there to see how the audiences love your solo and your duet with Roger so, you'll have to tell me all about it." I promised I would and told him to behave while I was gone and then I climbed onto the bus. The orchestra trip was exciting. We gave a concert every other night in different places and there were always large audiences and they seemed to really like us. I got a huge applause for my Sibelius solo every time and they really loved the duet with Roger. The two weeks flew by and we pulled back into the NEST Quad late at night. They made us all sleep in one of the empty dorms that night so we wouldn't wake up the other kids that were sleeping. That next morning, while we were eating breakfast, I saw Proctor Nick walking up to me. I thought to myself `Oh no, not another contract so soon.' And he kind of motioned that I should leave the table and follow him. He led me into a small room off the hall and told me to sit down. "Jack something happened while you were out on the tour and I feel you should know about it. Sean; your Follow-Boy was selected to be sent out on a long term contract and will not be back for a year." I couldn't believe what he was telling me. Elevens were NEVER sent out on contracts. They hadn't received one bit of training and...well they were just little kids. Besides that, NOBODY gets sent out on contracts for a whole year. There had to be some mistake. We talked for about a half an hour and he kept saying stuff about all Nesters having a responsibility to do what was best for the Academy and how I should be proud that I'd done such a fine job guiding my Follow-Boy that he was selected above all others in the entire school for this assignment and stuff like that. Finally he told me that this was a good opportunity now that I was relieved of my Lead-Senior responsibilities to concentrate on my own development. All I could think of was that I should have been there. He must have been so confused and so scared. I should have been there for my little Tadpole. That was my job and I let him down. I didn't cry though. Somehow after that meeting following my contract with Mr. Chang, I'd made up my mind that I was never going to let Procter Nick ever see me cry. I did cry that night though. In my bed with the blanket pulled over my head like the night I'd turned eight, I covered my mouth to keep quiet and I cried until I guess I just fell asleep. **************************************************************************************** I rubbed my eyes with my knuckles until my mind's vision was a universe of tiny white stars while I struggled to gather my thoughts. Jack had just described Uncle Phil's interrogation of the NEST boys and the final interview process that led to my selecting Sean. It all seemed like something that had occurred a life time ago and yet, the reality was that it had been less than a year. The interview procedure and ultimate selection seemed like a much different event when viewed from Jack's point of view as opposed to mine. His anguish over the loss of his Follow-Boy and feeling of complete failure because he had not been there to soothe the little one's fear and confusion rang true and cut me to my very soul. It was not unlike how I had felt at the death of my family and my feeling of abject failure not having been there to protect Kyle. Nothing left a person more empty than the feeling of failure exacerbated by hollowness of loss. I had never regarded the possibility that in snatching Sean from the NEST, I was breaking up any close personal bonds. In my arrogant selfishness, I had never considered such relationships might exist within an institution with such a single minded purpose. I'd thought no further than to regard it as a factory that produced high caliber boy whores. I felt shamed and subdued. I noticed my drink was untouched and I left it that way. ******************************************************************************************** About four weeks later, I was called down to Director Coleman's office and was informed that I had been contracted out. By this time I'd made up my mind that whatever it took, I was going to get through my three years of service as a Contract Boy, do what I needed to do to get into University, study hard and live a great life. I wasn't going to worry about anybody else and I wasn't going to get close to anybody else ever again. It just wasn't worth it. This was going to be a different kind of contract because Director Coleman told me that the Client; Mr. Pilkington was taking me for a week's long cruise on his yacht. He told me that there might be men besides Mr. Pilkington who desired my company during the trip and that was already cleared with the Academy. I was to remember that I wasn't to do anything against the rules but other than that, I was to make the Academy proud. In my mind, I told myself I'd make the Academy proud alright...just as long as it added to my bank account and increased my chances of landing a scholarship. I don't know much about boats, but Mr. Pilkington's yacht sure looked big to me. I know I sure would have loved it if it was mine. Of course if it was mine, I'd use it for more than fucking little boys. Mr. Pilkington was short and fat. He was dresses in a white shirt with epilates on the shoulders and he wore blue shorts with white socks that came up to his knees. He also wore a captain's billed cap and I found out real quick that he liked to be called `captain' not `mister'. He had sent over an outfit that he expected me to wear when Proctor Martin delivered me to his yacht. It was a white shirt with a square collar that hung down the back over my shoulders like a backwards bib. There was a blue kerchief that tied around my neck and very tight white shorts. There was also an old time sailor cap. When I looked at myself in the mirror I thought that I looked like Donald Duck but...when Procter Martin delivered me onboard, "Captain" Pilkington seemed to like what he saw. "Well Jack, welcome aboard the good ship Ganymede! I trust that I shall find you to be an able handed seaman who is able to handle semen." He must have thought that was very funny because he laughed for about five minutes. I found out that unlike the other contracts I'd been out on, this client didn't want me to get undressed right away. He wanted me in my "uniform" as he called it until duty required me to "stow it so the mates can break out the belaying pins." He laughed when he said that in fact, `Captain" Pilkington sure laughed a lot. We cast off pretty much as soon as I'd gotten on board. Seems like it wasn't very long before we were far out into the Gulf of Mexico. He brought me out onto the main deck and I was introduced to what he called "the compliment". There were three other men who were wearing just polo shirts and shorts...no uniforms. They were introduced as Ralph, Paul and Earle. They smiled at me and said hello while they sipped their drinks. There was also a young girl whose name was Mary. Mary was about Tip's age maybe just a year younger. She was dressed like I was except her shorts were much tighter than mine were and her shirt only came down to her belly. I found out later that she was being paid to be on the trip and she was there pretty much for sex stuff just like I was. Well, most of the "cruise" was all of the men taking turns using me and Mary. When they were fucking us, we were taken down below to one of the cabins but when they just wanted one of us to suck them off, that happened right on deck out in the open. When me an Mary weren't dressed up in our Popeye outfits, we were completely naked and strange enough it seemed like the men liked seeing us either way. For me, this was the first time I'd ever seen a live naked girl and I couldn't keep my eyes off her. Every time I'd look at her like that, my cock popped up to attention. Mary would just grin and a couple of times she told me I was cute. Mary and me weren't allowed to do anything with each other not even kiss. I'd been kinda hoping I'd get to see what it was like to fuck a girl but Captain Pilkington said we were off limits to each other. Between the four of those guys, it seemed like I was blowing one of them every time I turned around and I guess I was fucked at least eight or ten times a day. Believe me; you would have thought that lube was the most valuable thing in the world because they sure didn't use a lot of it. Captain Pilkington kept saying he like keelhauling scurvy naves like me and then of course, he'd laugh for like five minutes. I never got any of his jokes. I had to spend the night in a cabin with two of the guys every night while Mary got the other three. I never figured out how they decided who got to fuck who each night but they seemed to have it worked out between them. As far as I was concerned none of them was better or worse than the others, they all had regular sized dicks and none of them was gentle so it didn't matter to me. Luckily, they pretty much always liked me to be on my hands and knees when they fucked me so they never saw the pain on my face. They mistook the clamping down of my ass as something I was doing on purpose and the guy named Ralph must have said about twenty times that I was the most talented little bugger he'd ever had. I thought to myself that he should only know the truth. I actually think that eventually the nerves in my ass must have gone numb from the pain because the last couple of days when they were all trying to get as much of me and Mary as they could before the cruise ended, I don't remember feeling anything; just all those dicks going in and out of me. Maybe I've just forgotten the pain because it hurt so much. The only good part was I could have all of the rum and cokes I wanted just so long as I didn't get really drunk. I made sure I always had enough so that it kind of hid the pain of being fucked. Procter Martin was waiting at the dock when the Ganymede pulled in and he didn't say much except that the "client" was very satisfied, I had once again scored a very nice bonus and that I'd gotten a great tan. When the doctors looked me over after my cruise, they said that while I hadn't suffered any actual damage, they were concerned about the stress my sphincter had endured due to extended penetration by four men. By now I'd learned that `sphincter' is the real name for your asshole muscle. They told me that I wouldn't be allowed out on another contract for a while. Proctor Nick was all smiles when we talked after my adventure with Captain Pilkington and the `Compliment' and he told me that I was becoming a fine example for all Nesters to try to be emulate. I asked him what he meant and he said that they all should try to be like me. I thought to myself that that sure would be terrible for them. All I knew was that my asshole hurt so badly I was afraid every time I needed to poop and my Follow-Boy was gone and to tell you the truth, nothing was very much fun anymore. I was wondering to myself `how quickly could I make three years fly by.' Actually though, I'm not the type of kid to brood about something for two long and with time on my hands I really got involved in studying marine biology and I was working on a really detailed study on the effects of global warming on plankton. Sounds boring right? But, it really isn't because you see plankton is really the very first link in the food chain for the whole world. Besides that, plankton are a major agent of photosynthesis that makes oxygen in our atmosphere... well, anyway, I learned that they get their main nourishment from nitrogen, phosphate and iron and these things come from the much colder water below the surface. I was developing a pretty well documented theory that the warming of the sea water was stifling the food source for the plankton and therefore slowly destroying the progressive food source in the entire ocean. Believe it or not, this could be pretty good proof that our whole planet is in big trouble so suddenly it's not so boring after all. Pretty interesting huh? Anyway, I was doing as well on this as I could without being able to go to sea and do any actual physical research. Many was the time as I was doing my studying that I thought that this would have been a better thing to do with the `Ganymede' than sucking "Captain" Pilkington's dick on the main deck. As I got more and more involved I kept thinking that if I kept earning good bonuses and maybe even score a scholarship of two, when I aged out of the NEST, I could study marine biology at the university and never have to deal with people again. Well, that didn't last long because much sooner than I expected, I was called to Director Coleman's office and was told I'd been contracted out again. This was much sooner than the doctors had kind of led me to believe I was gonna go out but it turned out I was specifically requested by a very rich client. This time, the Director sat me down in his office and told me that this was a very important "assignment". The guy was in charge of a bunch of companies that pay for the services of a lot of Nesters and have been doing so for a while. It was very important that I satisfy this import man whose name was Mr. Tucker. I was to do my very best to make him completely happy. I was thinking to myself; `what the heck do they think I've been doing?' Every client I'd been with had reported that they were very, very satisfied with me. Why in the heck would they think it would be any different this time? Of course, I didn't say anything like that to him, I just told him that I would do my best and I would try to `make the Academy proud'. That seemed to be Director Coleman's favorite thing. I really liked the way wardrobe outfitted me for this contract. It was nice tight black jeans, a soft kind of off-white tee shirt made of really nice smooth material and a really comfortable white sweater. I thought I looked really good in the outfit when I looked in the mirror before heading down to the car with Proctor Martin. As we headed towards the elevator Proctor Martin said to me; "I'm really interested in seeing this penthouse. This guy Tucker owns this whole building and he's one of the richest men in the world. I won't get to come in very far so you'll have to tell me all about it when I pick you up afterwards." We got off at the top floor and the door was answered by a tall great looking guy who asked us in and I could tell right away that all his attention was on me. Proctor Martin did all the regular introduction stuff and the client; Mr. Tucker signed the paper work they always had to sign and then the Proctor left. The Client came back into the hallway and smiled at me. He had a great smile and he led me into the sitting lounge and told me to have a seat on one of the white couches then he asked me if I'd like a beer and then...it was kind of funny; he asked me was I allowed to have a beer. I think I may have laughed but I told him that yes, I was allowed to have one and that I'd like one. When he came back, he handed me my beer in a real nice glass and he had a drink of something that I'm pretty sure was whiskey. He sat down across from me and started making small talk. I could see pretty plain that he was really nervous. That seemed strange to me based upon what Director Coleman had been saying about him but I decided maybe I should get things started so I asked him if I should get ready for him. That seemed to confuse him so I asked if I should get undressed. He actually seemed like he had to think about that for a second but then he told me that I should do that. So, then I threw in my `undress or fancy strip show' line that always gets them but... it just confused Mr. Tucker. Finally though, he said no... just get undressed. Which kind of surprised me because that was the first time anyone had turned down my offer for a strip show. So, I started to get undressed but when I was down to just my underpants, he told me to stop and come and stand in front of him. This was really different from anything that had ever happened before but I got the feeling he was kind of sad or something and maybe he actually was just nervous. I stood with my hands at my side and he got up and looked real hard but in a gentle way at me and slowly began moving his hands all over me, Finally, he looked in in the eyes in a way that without him saying anything, I knew he wanted me to drop my briefs. I slipped them past my thighs and when they hit the floor, I just stepped out of them and kicked them to the side. I never broke eye contact with him. He was the one who finally looked down as he ran his fingers through my bush. He said something about how this was what everybody wondered about redheads. I figured he was talking about the color of my pubes because I'd heard that before. I just kind of smiled at him but I didn't say anything. Finally he said something about what a good looking young man I was and he told me to sit back down and finish my beer while he enjoyed looking at me. I didn't know what else to do so I just thanked him and sat down on the couch again. It was kind of strange; we just sat there with him looking at me while I drank my beer and him not saying a word. Finally though, I guess he's finally made up his mind because he stood up and stretched out his hand to me. I understood what he wanted so I got up and took his hand and let him lead me into the bedroom. Man! I sure wasn't prepared for his bedroom. It was huge and three of the four walls were glass. You could almost see the whole city from that one room. It had dark soft blue carpet and almost the only furniture was the big bed in the center. It was the neatest room I'd ever been in in my whole life. He must have known I would be impressed because he let me just stand there and look for a while before he indicated I should go over and get up onto the bed. By now he really had me curious. I really liked him... he seemed like a gentle kind man so I lay down on my tummy across the bed and watched to see what he would do next. He stood across the room and slowly took off his clothes. He was watching me while he did it and I had trouble hiding my smile because he was taking his time getting undressed and I was thinking that I was the one getting to watch a strip show this time. When he was down to just his boxer briefs, he walked over to the bed. He never said a word but his eyes told me to roll over onto my back. I did it but I tried not to take my eyes off him. He was one of the best looking men I'd ever seen and I kind of rolled over and opened my arms hoping he might want to kiss me. He did...Boy did he want to kiss me! Nobody ever had kissed me like that...not Tip, not anybody and when he finally stopped, I didn't think I could breath. Before I even realized it, he was kissing and nibbling his way down my body and playing with my balls and then...my cock was in his mouth and I think I forgot everything and suddenly I was cumming and in total crazy ecstasy and exploding. As I calmed down from my high I realized that I was supposed to be pleasing him but instead he had sent me into orbit. I felt so bad about that and I began apologizing for getting carried away but he shushed me up and told me that what he had just done had given him pleasure. I kind of understood that because I really enjoy it when I suck somebody to the point that they're in heaven. Then something really weird happened. He rose up on his elbows and looked at me so strangely...almost scary. Then he pulled me tight to him and was hugging me like he was afraid to let go and suddenly I was frightened for the first time on any contract I was frightened. Just as I was trying to figure what was going on he reached into a drawer at the side of the bed and pulled out a tube of lube. Suddenly there was no mystery anymore. I knew what he was going to do next. I pulled my knees back so that he could reach my asshole and to my surprise he used lots and lots of lube. More than even Tip had ever used. He greased up inside and out and he greased his large boner as well. He'd pushed two fingers smeared with lube up into me and he'd done it so quickly that I hadn't had time to react so it actually felt pretty good. I knew he was ready so I asked him how he wanted me to be. That seemed to confuse him for a second but then he told me to stay on my back because he wanted to look at my face while he fucked me. I thought to myself that this was going to be trouble because when he saw that he was hurting me, he would be unhappy with my training and my performance. I pulled my knees back into my chest and I felt him kneel between my legs and I could feel the tip of his cock press against my sphincter. I couldn't help it; I grabbed the bed clothes real hard and closed my eyes tight ready for the pain...but it never came. Instead, he pulled back and jumped off the bed. I didn't know what had happened so I sat up to see and he was standing there shaking like a leaf. Even in the dim light I could tell he looked scared to death. Suddenly I was just as scared as he was but he reached out and brushed my cheek with his finger tips and he was telling me it was all right and I should just stay there in bed. He even covered me up with the blanket and he ran out of the room. I sat there terrified. I didn't know what I had done to scare him so badly I only knew that I had messed up horribly. This contract was ruined and Director Coleman had made it clear how important it was for this to go perfectly. What was I going to do now? Had he seen the fear of the pain on my face? Had I done something wrong or was there something wrong with the way I looked or how I had acted? I only knew that I'd messed up terribly and I didn't know what was going to happen next. In a million years I'd have never guessed what did happen next. Mr. Tucker came back into the room he sat on the edge of the bed and opened his arms and asked me to let him hug me. He didn't have to ask twice. He rocked me and whispered stuff to me and I realized that I had been shaking with fear. I calmed down in his arms and finally I was able to tell him how sorry I was and I even found myself confessing that getting fucked hurt so much but that I would really make him happy if he would just give me another chance and try again. I don't actually know what all I said I just knew that somehow I liked this man and I trusted him and ...well it felt so good to tell someone about my problem with the pain. He continued to hold me and he told me the strangest stuff...something nobody had ever said to me before. He told me he wasn't surprised it hurt. He said it wasn't right for a man to fuck kids and that it wasn't right for kids to be forced to do stuff like this with grown men. He said it was a horror. I didn't know what to say because obviously I had been brought up to think completely different. I'd been brought up to think it was my duty...my obligation and privilege to do this for the NEST. Here was this man telling me it was wrong; that it was worse than wrong and somehow...that sounded true to me; like I'd known that was true all along. Then, he said something I didn't understand. He said I'd never have to do it again. I must have shown that I didn't know what he meant because he just said that I should trust him. We hugged for a while longer and then he said that he wanted to take me out for a steak dinner. Then we laughed because I realized my ass was loaded with lube. He sent me to the shower and when I was finished, he took me to this wonderful restaurant. I'd never been with anybody like him. It was so comfortable being with him and I found myself telling him everything about me...what I liked what I hoped to do with my life; all kinds of stuff like that. When we got back to his building I apologized again for disappointing him and he told me that I hadn't disappointed him that the evening had been special to him. That's when he told me I had to call him Eric from now on. When we got back in his apartment he sent me into the bedroom to get undressed again but he told me to keep my underpants on. When I came back out and was sitting on the couch, he opened a box and put this beautiful emerald pendant around my neck. It was and still is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. He told me that it was like it had been made just for me. Then he sat down next to me and told me that he had paid the NEST a lot of money and that I would never go out on a contract again. He also told me that he had set up a scholarship for me at the university. I didn't understand how or why this was happening I only knew I was so happy and so glad to be with him. I cried for a while and then I took his hand and led him into the bedroom. If there is one thing I know how to do well, its how to suck a cock, but I'd never sucked a cock as good as I did that night I'll tell you. That's about all there is to tell you Doctor Swaim. When I got back to the NEST and everybody saw my pendant they were in awe but the real reaction came after word got around that I was never going out on contracts again... that the mysterious Mr. Tucker had paid so that I was just for his use. Even Proctor Nick looked at me and talked to me differently after that and all the guys would secretly ask me to teach them to do what I did for Mr. Tucker so that they could have exclusive contracts too. I pretended that it was a secret because the real answer was that I didn't do anything that night except be afraid of the pain. A while after that, word got out that Tadpole was never coming back to the NEST and rumors began to go around that he was dead. Somehow though, I had the feeling he'd been adopted even though we'd never heard of that happening to a NEST boy. I just knew that Tadpole was too special to be dead. I don't know why I thought that...I just did and it turns out I was right. Soon after that, Eric came and got me just like I always knew he would. And he didn't want me just for a couple a days and there was Tadpole adopted by Eric and now I was going back home with them! When they find out at the NEST that I'm never going back, the rumors will REALLY start to fly among the guys. ********************************************************************************* I closed the cover on the manuscript and laid it aside. I was numb; almost in a daze. I rose from my chair and walked down the hall trance like. I don't quite know how I got there but I suddenly realized that I was in the kitchen. Martha was there doing something over by one of the counters she turned around when she heard me come into the room and the smile on her face turned into a frown of concern as she looked at me. She rushed up to me as I slowly almost collapsed onto one of the counter stools. I looked up into her loving face and said; "All I want is to be a good person and I never want to see children in pain. I never wanted to cause pain... I just want to try and do some good." And then it happened- almost five years of grief, anger, confusion and love...yes love, smashed the barrier I'd build in my heart and every pent up emotion I'd been keeping locked inside poured out in a raging torrent. I heard a loud animal noise that was my initial sob just before I began weeping uncontrollably from the very depths of my being. My body shook as I cried out five years of tumultuous life. I cried for my loss, I cried for feeling of ineptness for four wasted drunken years of unproductive existence. I cried in thanksgiving for the love of a little boy; a love that had saved and redeemed me. I wept for the past and I cried for the future. Martha held me in her tight loving embrace as I cried. My tears cleansed my soul. My weeping healed my heart and Martha held me tightly as I sat in the kitchen and was reborn. (To be continued) Eric begins the assault on the NEST. Hey guys, I've got to tell you that these last three chapters have been very difficult for me to write. I cannot tell you how much you encouragement and kind words have made the writing possible. I've come to think of a lot of you as the "Joyous Gaurdians" and it's great to hear from you!