Date: Sun, 8 Dec 2013 23:19:55 -0500 From: Eff Del Subject: Young but Daily Growing-Chapter 26 Young but Daily Growing-Chapter 26 By Eff Del It is strange that some of us fear endings because we look upon them as the termination of something familiar and hopefully good. Others fear beginnings because we see them as the threshold into the unknown. What a silly source of melancholy when all one has to do is to realize that endings are simply transitions into new beginnings and beginnings are simply where we start off from after stepping past an ending. Life you see is a circle there are no real endings or beginning only the ever spinning road. I was seated in one of the overstuffed leather chairs in the library having just returned from rinsing off my face and gratefully sipped the peaty amber liquid from the glass I'd just accepted from the professor. Sean had asked to be allowed to leave and share the momentous news with Walter, Martha and John and I had of course, sent him off with my enthusiastic blessings. This would allow me an opportunity to recover from my unexpectedly emotional reaction to his acceptance of the proposed adoption and also afford me time alone to talk with my wise friend. Although it was still morning, the big man had proposed a toast and I had accepted without the slightest hesitation. I glanced at him ruefully across the top of my glass. "Nice of you to leave me hanging out to dry like that Doc. I bring you into this discussion for moral and emotional support and when he starts asking questions, all you can come up is a list of legalities leaving me to stammer and blunder my way through the REAL explanations." He smiled broadly and leaned forward towards me causing the antique upholstery in his chair to creak, protesting the movement of his bulk. "Eric, what he wanted to hear...what he NEEDED to hear had to come from his...father NOT from his tutor and I must tell you that you did very well in that regard. In a few short minutes, you summed up fatherhood and family as well as I've ever heard it done and you certainly put things into perspective for Sean. Did you see the love and joy on his face when you'd finished? While I'm certain he still has questions about the future, he certainly no longer has any fear. Why Eric, he practically danced out of this room. I couldn't have done that for him. Only you could and you did!" I leaned back into the chair and let that sink in and I felt a smile slowly come across my face as I realized that he was right. By some miracle I had indeed said the right things to my confused and anxious little boy and he had accepted my open and vulnerable emotion filled offer happily. My gaze traversed across the room and settled upon the mantelpiece with its carved marble. NOLI TIMERE...now the words fairly flew out at me. "Thank you for reminding me about my great grandfather's motto Doc. I guess it's been there in front of my nose for so long that I'd forgotten it." "That motto was not something just for your great grandfather Eric. He intended it for his entire family...for his generations yet unborn...for you." I nodded and got up from my chair indicating that he should finish his drink and hand me his glass. While I busied myself at the antique bar in the corner, I rubbed my finger thoughtfully along the dark ancient wood and decided to share my latest thoughts with him. "Doc, lately, there's been something else on my mind that I'd like to bounce off of you." I handed him his whiskey and water and sat back down across from him. "The joy and the love that have been the result of having Sean in my life are causing me to think about the NEST. I think its evil Doc and it's got to be destroyed. When I think that there but for fortune, in a few years little Sean would be going out on contracts...nah call it what it is...turning tricks for those people, it makes me sick to my stomach and then, morally I've got to think about the other boys...the ones who are still there who are being subjected to this horror or will be when they're old enough." I looked up at him and he was staring at me intently. Somehow his black rimmed glasses hadn't slid down his nose this time making him appear serious and sage. He was circling the rim of his drink tumbler with his index finger and was gently but perceptively chewing on his lower lip. "Well Eric, you've known my feelings about that particular institution for many years...long before Sean ever entered your life and I'm of course pleased that you have recognized the utter wrongness of the ordeal they oblige these bright wonderful boys to submit to for three or four years of their lives...these being among the most important and formative few years in a boy's development I might add. Having said that, I must caution you against wielding a `sword of righteous wrath' and destroying the Academy totally and without hope of salvation. Pardon me for waxing Biblical here, it's a bad habit of mine but...you've heard the old expression; `throwing the baby out with the bath water'? That's what you risk doing if you set about destroying the school as reprisal for their transgressions and do not take into account their many positive, useful and important accomplishments over the past sixty some years. Just as a case in point Eric, I submit that our little Sean would not be nearly the bright accomplished wonderful boy that he is had he been subject to the normal system of foster homes...even adoption that exists in the world ready to swallow up and process any young orphan child not lucky enough to have qualified and been taken into the extraordinary environment of the NEST. Your soon to be son might very well have turned out a good looking but uneducated simple minded dullard. I'm pleased at your initial resolve to strike out against evil Eric but I caution you to take great care and engage in serious study and evaluation before you act." This was not the reaction that I'd expected from him and I told him so but he led me to understand the correctness of what he was saying. I realized that during the conversation I had unconsciously begun mirroring him and that I was engaged in running my finger around the rim of my own glass. This silly recognition snapped me out of my reverie and I stood up extending my hand for his glass again. "You're right of course." I said to him. "I must be getting older after all if I'm able to understand that with minor exceptions there are few things in this world that are all evil or all good eh?" He just smiled and nodded. "This can wait until after Sean's birthday. I'm hoping to adapt him on that very day. Sometime afterward, I'll call a Counsel of War..." grinning at him I added; "I always wanted to be a hero in one of those great stories you tell." *********************** It was the early afternoon and we were floating on our backs naked and lazy doing easy almost languid back stroke laps of the pool. "Eric...after I'm adopted and I'm your kid and all, I can still sleep in bed with you can't I?" "Of course you can Sean; nothing has to change until when and if you want it to. What you've got to learn is that there are no unusual expectations being placed upon you anymore. You will do what you want to do as long as it's reasonable and doesn't hurt anyone. You can continue to share my bed as long as you want to but when you have the urge or the need to stop and to move into your own room and even share your own bed with someone else that will be just as fine and just as acceptable. I mean, I'll miss you in my bed...I'll probably have to get a dog or something to keep me warm..." There was a moment of silence as he thought that over and then he began to giggle so hard that I was afraid he might begin swallowing the chlorinated water. I swam over to him and he wrapped his arms around my neck as I moved us both to the shallow end of the pool. He'd enfolded his legs around my waist and was nuzzling my neck and cheek with his lips and nose. "An what about the...you know...the sex stuff? Can we still do that?" "Well, that's a bit more complicated because our relationship is a lot more complicated than you'd see in a normal adaption or between a normal father and son. We've always kept that part of our connection with each other private and I see no reason why it shouldn't stay that way. We've been doing the...sex stuff longer than we've loved each other and certainly before I realized that I wanted to adopt you. I don't think it would be fair to just stop...once a bell had been rung; you can't un-ring it. I must tell you that I don't see it going much further than it has...at least not as long as you're a little boy. But Sean, ultimately I think it's going to be just like the issue of what bed you sleep in...you're going to grow and you're going to change and once you get that NEST mentality out of your head, you're going to realize that what you do sexually doesn't have to please me...it has to please you. You'll almost certainly reach a point where you want to experiment with other people...to share pleasure with other people. You'll probably find your self drawn more and more to people closer to your own age...this is all normal and it's all good and as your father, I promise to encourage that... not stand in your way." "But Eric...you're not so old!" I smiled and leaned in and kissed him. "Actually, in the overall scope of things, I'm not. I was only 16 when you were born and I'm not yet 30 but I'm older than you and anyway, that's not my point. My point is that you must learn that the choices are yours and yours alone. My job as ...your father... will be to guide you and try to help ensure that the choices you make are good ones and safe ones but Sean, you're not a NEST boy out on contract. You have no obligation to do anything that doesn't please you...that isn't what you want." He was looking at me with those stunning blue/green eyes fixed wide and his dark thick lashes with tiny drops of water seemed unblinking. I couldn't help it; I leaned down and kissed him again. "Besides, I've been thinking that just because I'm gay and just because the NEST brought you up to think and act gay, the odds are pretty strong that you're NOT. Hell Sean, in just a few years you may find yourself attracted to girls and THEN my trouble as a father will start!" I laughed because he'd crinkled up his little nose at the mention of girls. I ran a hand down to his taut little ass and squeezed. "Gosh Sean...someday you may marry some pretty little girl and make me a grandfather!" "Euwwwwwwww!" he exclaimed and returned to nuzzling my neck. "So...what am I supposed to call you when I'm adopted?" "Whatever you're comfortable with Sean. Remember from our very first day together there was only one rule...no calling me `Sir' and you haven't had any problem with that have you?" "No." He looked up into my face smiling. "Maybe I'll just try out different things and see what we like huh?" "That sounds like a great idea and speaking of that, I'm hoping that once you're adopted, you'll choose to take on my family name of Tucker." A curious look came over his face. "I never thought about that Eric. I never had no name but Sean." That startled me and in shock I realized we'd never discussed it and apparently it had never been discussed during his seven years at the NEST. I lifted him up and sat him at the edge of the pool. We were almost eye to eye now. "Of course you do Sean and I feel bad for not having talked about it with you before. You already have a fine name and you come from a fine family. Your full name is Sean Michael Douglas and you have a heritage to be proud of. Let's get showered and dressed and I'll show you." I climbed out of the pool and I noticed he just sat there for a few moments silently mouthing the words to himself. "How terrible to be almost twelve years old and not to have known your own name." I thought to myself with a pain someplace deep inside. I reached my hand down to him. He took it and followed me into the locker room. ********************** We were seated next to each other at the big oak table in the library. I inserted the memory stick into the computer and spoke to him. "Your father was Doctor William Douglas he was a well-regarded ID specialist...that's a doctor that deals in infectious diseases. This is his photo." I opened one of the sub files and the screen was filled with the smiling face of a very good looking man in his late-thirties. He had thick black hair like Sean's and I noticed that although they wore their hair very differently, their hair lines were the same. It was easy to recognize the same strong jaw and dimpled cheeks that he shared with his son. His eyes were pure blue. The face was that of an intelligent good natured man. The sort of man you'd like to know. I punched the command that sent this image to the printer and opened up the next file on the screen. "Your mother was Doctor Alma Douglas. She was a pediatrician...which means she specialized in the care of kids." The face on the screen was that of a remarkably beautiful woman in her early thirties. With her son and husband she shared a rich head of raven black hair. While her smile didn't reveal any dimples there was no doubt she was the genetic source of what I'd come to call a "Sean Smile". Most startling were her eyes...the same blue/green I'd come to wonder at and love...the same eyes I awoke gazing into every fantastic morning. I punched the command to print this photo as well. This was a beautiful couple that looked like the type of people who did not take the world for granted and who strove to give back to the world to return at least what benefit they had gathered from life and probably more. Looking at their faces and knowing their story, I felt utterly unworthy to suddenly be acting as caretaker...parent to their wonderful son. "Shortly after you were a year old, they both took time off from their successful medical practices to go to Africa and offer medical relief under WHO...the World Health Organization. Africa was and for that matter still is a very politically volatile continent and it is fraught with revolution and insurrection. Just a couple of weeks after your second birthday, a bomb was set off in the small hospital that your parents were working in. Fourteen people were killed...patients and medical staff. Among them were your Mother and Father. I have pictures but those aren't for now they're for when you're older. You were flown back to the United States and placed under the care of your only living relative; your maternal Grandmother a remarkable woman named Karen Harris." I opened the next file and the visage of a woman in her late 60's appeared. She had a head of thick grey hair that had probably once been as black as her daughter's and grandson's. Her bright blue eyes sparkled for the camera. The wrinkles at the corners of those eyes gave clear indication that this was a person who laughed and smiled often. It was a face full of mirth and character and it was the well lived in face of a woman who had once obviously been very beautiful. "Your grandmother had a PHD in art history and had taught at the University of Georgia for many years. She authored eight books and was considered one of the world experts in Medieval French Art." I could tell by his face that he was trying to grasp all of this new information but a lot of it was beyond him currently. These things would mean more as he got older but there was also no reason to over simplify the information for him now either. He was so very bright that he would understand the gist of it. "She was also a talented painter in her own right and was just beginning to be recognized as such when she suffered a sudden heart attack and died when you were just four years old. That's when the NEST got ahold of you. They didn't want your potential to be squandered in the normal system...fact is, they probably were keeping an eye on you since your parents died. Because your parents were a bit old to be having a first child when you were born and your grandmother was already in her late sixties, I suspect they figured they had a good chance of getting ahold of you before you reached their cut off point of six years old." He was looking at the three photographs I'd just printed out for him and I could tell that he was straining his mind, pushing his memory hoping for some glimmer of recognition and sadly, he was finding none. He looked over at me and his expression was half amused and half bewildered. "I am Sean Michael Douglas and these are my parents and grandmother and until now I never even knew they existed." He stared back at the photos his beautiful eyes blinking as he looked from face to face to face. "They look like nice people don't they Eric?" "Yes Sean" I said softly, "They look like very nice people." He got up and moved over to my chair. He climbed up on my lap and wrapped his arms around my neck burying his face into my chest. "Thanks Eric. Thanks for showing them to me. I love you." I made up my mind then and there. I reached for my phone and made the necessary calls. ******** With the one required stop in Chicago, the cross country flight took about six and a half hours. Sean and I slept cuddled against each other for about half the trip. Barry who could no longer pass as just a flight attendant to me, maintained that innocent charade for Sean and therefore kept us well supplied with drinks and food. We also watched two short films about Orcas. Sean had decided finally that killer whales were in fact the "coolest" and was trying to learn as much as he could about them. I wasn't so much interested in learning about them as I was in just enjoying their beauty. The cinematography was exquisite and at times quite graphic. I think those parts bothered me far more than they bothered Sean. It was late evening when Captain Lucas finally set the jet down at tiny Glynco Airport in Brunswick, Georgia. We were met by old Mister Perkins, the live in caretaker of my six bedroom "cottage" on Sea Island. As we were driving across the nine mile long causeway out to Saint Simons Island and then to the shorter causeway onto Sea Island, I pointed out the lighthouse whose beam was just visible from the car. I mentioned to Sean that it was open to the visitors and that we might find time to climb to the top this trip. This met with an enthusiastic response though I noticed that he was having a difficult time keeping his beautiful eyes open. "We're driving through and over the Marshes of Glynn right now Sean. This is one of the last unspoiled salt water marshes and estuaries on the East Coast. You'll see it better when we drive back across tomorrow on our way to Savanah and if there's time, maybe we'll take a Kayak tour through the marsh before we leave. If not, we can always come back here." "That sounds really neat Eric" he replied and I realized that he really didn't understand what we were doing out here in Georgia and beside that, he was falling asleep in the car. All in good time I thought. ******* Bonaventure Cemetery occupies approximately 160 acres of land high on a bluff overlooking the muddy Wilmington River just east of the city of Savannah. Once part of an antebellum rice plantation, it is old and rich in history serving as the final resting place for many of the grand city's famous as well as forgotten residents. The lavish funerary art and sculpture that are spread across the landscape are accented by the wildly twisting live oak trees dripping with long spooky bundles of Spanish moss once called "long moss" by the area residents. It is at once melancholy and beautiful...peaceful and frightening. It is elegant in its macabre complexity. Encompassing everything an old southern burial ground should be, it is impossible to wander the grounds without a heightened sense of curiosity wonder and just a tinge of fear. >From the edge of the bluff the living can look down upon the river far below and quite often enjoy the sight of elegant snowy white egrets or ugly earth grey storks plying their livelihood in the shallows of the dark water while scattered along the grounds, the southern "gentry" interred in the rich black earth or sealed in containers of cold marble sleep their genteel sleep. Following the map and directions that had been emailed to me, Sean and I approached an exceptionally gnarled and twisted tree and, as indicated by my tiny scrap of paper, located on the southern side of the trunk three simple neat marble slabs. Perched atop two of these, frozen in perpetual preparation for flight were two marvelously rendered stone birds, wings spread and necks outstretched- each leaning toward the other. These two markers bore dates and the inscriptions; William Douglas, beloved husband and father and the other; Alma Douglas, beloved wife and mother The slab that had no mounted sculpture read similarly; Karen Harris, Wife, Mother, Grandmother and Teacher. I placed my hand upon Sean's shoulder and indicated the three markers. "These are your parents and Grandmother Sean. Their bodies are here while their spirits soar through the universe...at least that's what I believe." He stared at the marble silently for several minutes before he spoke without looking up. "Do you think they know I'm...that WE'RE here Eric?" "Yes I do Sean. Every time I visit the graves of my parents and of course Kyle, I can feel them with me and I know that they know what I'm doing and that they're smiling at me." "If that's so, then I know my family is happy for me and happy that if they couldn't be here, then they know that you found me and I think they must be glad Eric." For the first time since we'd begun talking about his family tears were leaking from his eyes. He looked up at me and broke into a dazzling smile despite the tears. I had brought along three long stemmed red roses and I helped him lay one on each marble slab. "I read someplace that you're s'postah pray over graves Eric but I don't know how to pray." "Oh, I think if you just speak from your heart that does the trick real well Sean." He nodded and then he began to speak. "Hi Mom and Dad. Hi Grandma. I'm glad I finally got here to be with you. I'm sorry we never got to know each other I bet I would have liked you ...LOVED you a whole lot. I hope you're happy that Eric found me an I hope you're glad that he's gonna be my Dad now. I love him a lot an he loves me a lot too. I'm gonna try every day to make you...and him proud of me. Well, I'll come back here again sometime I promise." He reached out his little hand to me. I took it and we slowly turned and walked back to the waiting car. ********* That night, we lay in each other's embrace. I'd left the windows of the bedroom open so that we could hear the ocean sounds as we hugged in the darkness. After about 45 minutes of cuddling, I kissed my way down his body and took his rock hard penis greedily between my lips sucking and licking in a manner I knew to be guaranteed to drive him wild. As I swirled my tongue up and down the short little shaft his hips began thrusting in perfect accord to my sucking and lapping. He was far too young to be concerned about prolonging or delaying his orgasm yet. He recognized the advent of his pleasure and gave into it innocently and naturally. He moaned softly and sweetly and I knew well the signs of the oncoming storm but this time, something magical...something extraordinary happened. I felt his little cock pulse inside my mouth and suddenly and unexpectedly three strong bursts of liquid exploded from his throbbing member. It was thin and watery but its salty/sweet goodness gave proof to the fact that is was cum...his first immature cum and I had been fortunate to catch it in my mouth. I rolled the light but viscous substance around on my tongue and I knew that it would get thicker and better in time but for now, it was there...it was finally there! "Wha...What just happened Eric?" his eyes were wide with alarm and surprise. I smiled and stroked his forehead. "What happened was...you shot for the first time Sean! You shot!" "Holy guacamole! I did? Oh Eric that's so nea!t I was wishin' I would do it soon an now I have! How cool!" "Yep...looks like nature has given you an early birthday present congratulations little man!" "Do you think I can see Eric?" "Of course you can in fact, at your age; I'll bet you're ready to go again right now." I masturbated him twice that night so that he could enjoy the feelings as well as the sight of his little prick shooting out its essence and I wondered if the grin of pleasure and satisfaction was ever going to leave his face. Eventually though, the weariness of a full day took its toll and he fell asleep in my arms. I soon followed but before sleep overtook me I remember smiling with gratitude at the privilege I'd been granted this night. ******** "This was your grandmother's house it's also the house you lived in with your parents when you were first born before the three of you went off to Africa. I'm sure I could ask the current owners if we could come in and look around if you'd like Sean." "Nah." He shook his head indicating that he had no interest. "It wouldn't mean nothing to me Eric. I don't remember any of it." We were back in Savannah for the morning and there was one more thing I wanted to show him. I'd had my people track it down and miraculously it was still hanging and still for sale. It was large and bright obviously a summer scene bursting with colorful flowers and plants and splashes of sunlight against various mottled surfaces. In the center of the painting was a nude child of about three years old holding high a large yellow blossom. Although the artist's style was neo-impressionist, there was no mistaking the smile on the child's face. "This is one of your grandmother's paintings." I told him softly. "The little boy is beyond a doubt you. She must have painted this about a year after your parents were killed." "It's so beautiful Eric. My Grandma painted this an that's me when I was very little?" "Yes. I suspect she painted it in the garden of the house I just showed you. Do you like it?" "Oh Eric I really do it's so special isn't it?" "You bet it is, that's why I've just bought it for you so that we can hang it back home and you can look at it anytime it pleases you." "He looked up at me and smiled. He didn't say a word he just wrapped his arms around me and hugged me for a long long time. ******** June 17 was a Tuesday. We rose early that morning, showered and ate breakfast. John was waiting in the front drive holding the door to the limo opened for us as we emerged from the mansion. The actual time we spent before the judge was less than 15 minutes though I must admit he tried to make the simple ceremony special for us. When we left the courthouse we were smiling so hard that neither of us could speak. John simply winked a moist eye at us and nodded his head. We drove home in happy silence. I laughed silently as I looked at him and considered that he like I was wearing tan slacks a white shirt and a blue blazer just like that day that seemed so long ago when we'd first met. Our shirts were opened at the neck and we each wore the matching medallions Professor Swaim had presented to us the night before. They were simple small gold ovals on a gold chain and they were inscribed with the words; NOLI TIMERE...do not be afraid. I knew that everyone I'd invited for his surprise party would be waiting at Joyous Gaurde and sure enough as we pulled up the front drive there they stood. The entire household staff beaming with happiness...Sean knew all of their names I still did not. In the forefront were Walter, Martha, Uncle Phil, the Professor and Andy. Also in the group were the Seven Swimming Samurai and their families, Coach Riorden and his two assistants Tim and Wayne, also there were Barry and Captain Lucas. As we stepped out of the limo I hugged the surprised little boy to my side. I'd only planned a short simple speech and I knew I could probably get through it before I began crying. "Good friends, thank you so much for being here to wish a happy twelfth birthday to this very special young man...Sean Michael Douglas Tucker...my son." The End IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE As I've told you all many times during this adventure, this has been my first attempt at fiction writing and it's been a blast! Thank you all for your comments and encouragement along the way you have each and every one made this a joyful experience for me. I would be terribly remiss however, if I didn't mention a few key players who helped make this the story it became; Sid, who was there at the very inception and who is the closest thing to a Godfather Sean will ever have, The two Michaels...one for his technical theoretical and emotional support and one for his cynicism...you each know which ones you are. .,and Nate just for caring so constantly. This story ends here because this is where it was always supposed to end. Little boys are magical creatures as ephemeral as soap bubbles and I always intended to leave Sean and Eric at just this happy point. Things change however and characters somehow take on a life of their own. Eric has a new task to take on...the reformation of the nest, Sean has the sad task of growing up...but not too quickly, After a short break, I shall be returning to the world of Joyous Gaurde and I'd be delighted if you'd all join me there. Look for book 2 "Flights of Angels" to start in January. Thanks again.