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CONTROL and KAOS
On the field, Theo had rolled over onto his stomach, still staying perpendicular to Topher, who rested on his back, his head in his hands, and continued to watch the sky.
"I don't need to fuck you, Topher," Theo said. "I like what we've been doing. All of it."
"Okay," Topher said. "I like it too. It's just...like I said, it's confusing."
"Toph?" Theo asked after half a minute of just looking at the blond's face.
"Am I your boyfriend?"
"A little bit back, you called me your boyfriend. Am I your boyfriend?"
Topher turned his head and looked into the big brown eyes. "I dunno," he said warily. "I think so. That okay? What do you think?"
"I think so too," Theo said. They looked at each other, brown to blue.
Topher rolled over onto his side and kissed Theo lightly on the lips. "Chill," he said. Theo smiled, making him smile in return.
"So are there any other rules I don't know about that I'm breaking?" Theo asked.
"Oh, yeah," Topher said. "Shitloads."
"How about..." Theo said, stealing the blue sunglasses again, putting them on, and rolling onto his back, "how about we don't use rules. How about we just do what we feel like?" He watched the blue clouds waft across the blue sky.
Topher shimmied around on the grass so that he lay lengthwise to the boy. Still on his side, he lay his knee across Theo's legs and his hand across his stomach. "See, it's shit like that why I'm so fucking confused around you." He was smiling now, though. Theo covered his hand with his own.
"Just out of curiosity," Theo said, knowing that the mood had changed and that the conversation had turned to play, "what are some of the other rules?"
"Oh," Topher considered, "like, fer'instance, you're not supposed to want to give me a blow job. I'm supposed to have to beg for it."
"That's a stupid rule," Theo said.
Topher laughed. "Fuckin' A, dude!"
"You're supposed to be all impressed that I'm the quarterback," Topher said.
"Okay," Theo said happily, stealing a kiss to go with the glasses. "That's an all right rule. I can be impressed you're the quarterback."
"Would you be more impressed if I were the punter?" Topher asked.
Theo knit his brows. "Should I be?"
Topher laughed. "See? That's what I mean."
"Do you mind?" Theo asked.
"No," Topher said, reaching his near arm around under the boy and drawing him closer. "I kinda like it. It makes me feel...I don't know. Freer. It's good, I think. But it's weird."
"Are you going to be okay without the rule book?" Theo asked, rolling Topher onto his back and climbing on top of him.
"I don't know," Topher said. "Never played without a rule book before. It's all..." He searched for the word.
"Yeah," Topher said, "and confusing."
"Well, here's to chaos, then," Theo said, kissing Topher's lips lightly. "And to confusion." He kissed him again. "And to me fucking you."
"Oh, shush," Topher said, chuckling.
"Zis is KAOS," Theo answered. "Ve don't shush here."
EJ and Seth strolled the corridor side by side. The most personal conversations that could be had in a high school were had while strolling the corridors. It was a strange paradox that one could be most private only in the most public places.
"Theo and I started practicing for a couple of years ago," Seth was saying to answer EJ's question. "And he's kind of..."
"Big," EJ said. "Yeah. Topher mentioned it. That makes perfect sense, then. You ever do anything else with him?"
"Oh, you know," Seth answered, shrugging, "we just tried stuff out on each other. Where did you...learn?"
"It was this kid named Rory," EJ said. They were passing a clump of people clustered in the hall. He waited until they were clear before continuing. "People called him the Rabbit. He wasn't my first first, but he's really where I learned how to do it right. We spent a couple of years together."
"Where's he now?" Seth asked, feeling strangely shaken by the idea that EJ had had a boyfriend for two years.
"College. He graduated last year."
"You mean, like, he just left?" Seth was unsettled.
"Yeah," EJ said. "'Bout two months ago."
Seth looked at EJ as they walked. The blue cap was pulled low over his eyes, which were shaded by the blue sunglasses anyway. "You were with a guy for the past two years, and you just broke up?"
"Well, it's not like we were together together," EJ said. He draped his arm casually over Seth's shoulders. Seth continued to look up at him, searching for clues. "We fucked a lot though. The Rabbit was great."
"So what's not together together?"
"The Rabbit and I...well, we had kind of an understanding."
"Like what?" Seth asked.
They had turned into a hallway without any people in it. EJ steered them over to the side and leaned Seth back against a locker. He gently kicked his feet apart and stepped between them, leaning forward to make contact from the thighs up past his stomach. Seth looked up at him, trying his best to mask a worried expression. He was adorable.
"Like, we both liked hooking up a lot. And we did it a lot."
"That sounds like together together to me," Seth said, enjoying EJ's weight as he leaned into him. He reached up and took the glasses off EJ's face and put them on himself. Next he took the cap. EJ's hair was short enough that it didn't retain the shape of the hat. Seth put it on and pulled it low. All he could see was EJ's
cleft chin. He hadn't shaved that day. It was covered with a perfectly sexy stubble.
"Well, we didn't always hook up together," EJ said.
Seth frowned. "You mean, you cheated on him?"
"No, babe. It wasn't cheating. He knew about it. And he fucked around too. But he always came back, 'cause I had what he wanted."
"What'd he want?" Seth wasn't sure he liked where the conversation was heading. He also wasn't sure he liked the fact that despite his best efforts to the contrary, the pressure on his groin was getting him hard.
"You know what he wanted. You want it too."
"Yeah, babe." Still pressing him against the locker, EJ found Seth's hands. He intertwined their fingers and drew his hands out to the side, fully extending his arms. Seth was immobilized, crucified against the lockers. "You like it when I call the shots."
Seth tilted his head back. EJ wore a gentle smile. His eyes were magic. Against his better judgment, Seth agreed. At least he didn't do it out loud.
"I know," EJ said. He spoke quietly, his voice hypnotic. "It's okay. You can let me."
Seth was confused. What he thought was going to be a conversation about infidelity had, instead, turned into an exposé of the very depths of his attraction. He wasn't prepared for it. He tried to disengage his hands and wiggle free, but EJ had effectively pinned him in place and held tight. The weight of him was overwhelming.
Trying his best to ignore the two erections pressing against each other below, he turned defiant. "So you make all the decisions? Is that it?"
EJ was patient. "No," he explained calmly, "you can make some decisions. Just remember that when push comes to shove, I'm going to win. It's what you want. It's what I want. It's natural."
Seth's brows knit. "That's what I want?" he asked incredulously. In response, EJ rotated his hips, rubbing the material of Seth's pants across his woody. Seth's breath caught in his throat. EJ's smile became a self-satisfied, asymmetric smirk.
"So I'm going to keep to fucking around, babe," EJ said, purring the words in a tone of voice that was as calming as its content was alarming. "It's what I do. I like it. And when the time comes, you can too. But I'll always come back to you just like you'll always come back to me, because no matter where you look, you're not going find what I got to give you."
"What if..." Seth was doing his best to concentrate on breaking the spell EJ had him in. He didn't like what EJ was saying at all. Mostly he didn't like how compliantly his dick was responding to it. "What if..." When EJ looked at him like that it was too difficult to think. He felt too exposed. It felt too scary and too good. "Let me go," he said.
"I'll let you go when you say I'm right," EJ answered.
"You're not...That's not what I..."
EJ brought his hips back, sunk an inch, pressed them forward again and rose up, mashing their dicks together mercilessly in a classic fucking motion. Seth's attempted denial evaporated.
"It's okay," EJ said, his voice almost a whisper. "You can say it. We both know it. You can admit it, babe."
A teacher turned the corner into hall and began walking toward them. EJ reluctantly let the kid go. They turned away from the teacher and began walking again, giving Seth the opportunity to compose himself.
They had turned the corner and were halfway down the next hallway before Seth was able to collect his thoughts. The interruption was a lucky fluke. He had been about to agree. "How do you know what I want?"
They walked on a few paces while EJ decided how best to respond. "How many guys have you hooked up with in your life?" he asked.
"Not counting practice?"
"No. Real hook ups."
"Just one," Seth said.
"You know how many guys I've hooked up with?"
"No," Seth answered.
"Neither do I," EJ said deliberately. Seth looked over at him. His face was calm and relaxed as they walked. He wasn't saying it to be insulting. He was trying to make a point. Seth decided not to react with anger.
"You know who I could have if I wanted him?" EJ asked.
"Pretty much anyone?" Seth said. He had meant it as a joke, but it rang truer than he expected.
"That's right," EJ answered, missing or ignoring Seth's attempt at irony. "I could have anyone I wanted, and I picked you. You know why I picked you?" Seth inhaled to answer, but EJ cut him off. "I'm being serious," he said calmly. "You sure you want to give me a smart-ass answer?" Seth shook his head and let the breath dissipate. "Smart boy," EJ said.
"I can see things in people. I don't know why, but I just can. Like, I can tell who likes fucking and who wants to get fucked. I can tell what they're going to be like in bed just by watching them."
"I don't know. The Rabbit taught me, but I got much better at it than him. I could probably teach you, given time. It's the way they stand, the way their eyes move...it's a lot of things -- but that's not the point. The point is I could tell a couple of things about you before we even met."
"Like what?" Seth was both intrigued and a little scared.
"Like you're totally into me," EJ began.
"That wasn't so hard to figure out," Seth said. They were at the auditorium. Out of habit, Seth tested the doors. One was unlocked. He opened it and they turned into the dark, deserted theater.
"That's not all," EJ said. "I knew you were a virgin. I knew you wanted me to take your cherry. I knew you'd like it on the rough side."
"You could tell that from the start? Before we even met?"
EJ nodded. They were making their way down the dark aisle. The only light came from the emergency exits lamps and the small windows in the doors at the back of the audience. "I misjudged what it was going to take to get into your pants, but I knew I'd get there." He had Seth by the hand and was leading him slowly, in case anything unseen was in their way. When he got to the middle of the section of seats he turned into a row, sat down and pulled Seth onto his lap.
"What else?" Seth sat sideways, his feet dangling over the arm rest into the aisle.
"I could tell you were going to be...creative. I liked that. That's one of the reasons I chose you. And I could tell you'd put up a fight. I liked that too."
"I didn't put up a fight," Seth said. He could feel EJ's erection growing again. It began poking at his thigh.
"You put up a fight every time we see each other," EJ rejoined gently. "It's cute. I like it. You're putting up a fight now. It's hot. But you got to know, babe. I'm going to win. I'm always going to win. That's one of the things you like about me, and the sooner you get over that fact, the easier it's going to be."
"What if I were the one calling the shots?" Seth said, glad for the darkness. He could see EJ's silhouette but not his eyes. "What if it was me all along, but I've been doing it in a way that you don't even know I'm doing it? What if you feel like you're controlling everything because I want you to feel like you're doing it, but really it's me?"
EJ smiled. "See? You're still feisty. The Rabbit was never feisty. I like it. It's sexy. And it makes it all the hotter when I win."
"But what if that's only because I want you to think like you've won?"
"You really think you're the one manipulating me?"
"See, if I was, and I was doing it right, you'd never know, would you?" Seth was satisfied with his response. It made his point without saying outright what was really going on.
EJ chuckled. "I knew you'd be fun." He reached around the kid's waist from both sides and unzipped his pants. He reached in and fished out Seth's dick. It was rock hard. He brought his hand up, cupping it in front of Seth's mouth and waited. Seth collected a gob of spit and emptied it into EJ's hand. EJ brought it down and smeared it around the head of the kid's dick. Seth sighed and relaxed against EJ's torso.
"Face it, babe," EJ said, letting his hand do the magic. "It's the way it's supposed to be. We work differently. I get pleasure from my dick. That's fine. You get pleasure from my dick too. That's great! The difference is, it's my dick. That gives me the power. It's just the way the world is. And deep down, it's the way you want it to be, too."
Seth gave into the pleasure and spread his legs, draping one of his knees over the seat in front of them while keeping the other on the arm rest. He was sideways to EJ, resting his head on the jock's shoulder. EJ worked his dick, sliding over the length of it. Seth's hips bucked to meet the fist.
"I'll say I like it when you think you're in control if you say that that was the hottest blow job you've ever had," he whispered into the ear that was an inch from his mouth.
EJ turned his head and kissed him, his tongue filling the kid's mouth while his head palmed the head of his dick. Seth breathed in sharply through his nose.
"No bargains," EJ said, breaking off the kiss. "You admit you like it that I am in control. Not that I think I'm in control." He shifted sideways so that their heads were more at a level. Seth found himself leaning backwards, off-balanced save for EJ's arm around his back, supporting him. EJ kissed him again. Seth melted into it.
"That's not fair," Seth said when they paused for air. "You can't make me say things when you're getting me off. I'd say anything to get off. It wouldn't be honest."
"When you're getting off is the only time you're honest, babe." EJ squeezed the base of his dick, forcing a pearl of precum out of the top.
"The arm rest is digging into my back," Seth said, stalling for time. EJ tried to shift in the seat again, but Seth's leg got caught in the chair in front of them. Seth disentangled himself and stood up. "C'mon," he said, pulling EJ up by the hand. He led him down the aisle toward the stage. The air was cool against his dick, which was sticking out of his fly.
They carefully negotiated the stairs up to the stage. Seth brought him across it to the upstage legs. He made his way through the curtains to the area offstage that housed pieces of the set which were still in construction. Whatever light was in the auditorium was blocked by the curtains. It was pitch black. Seth felt his way forward.
"Here it is," he said, coming up against a couch that was used for a livingroom scene. He brought EJ's hand to it so EJ could tell where it was.
"Sweet," EJ said. He maneuvered Seth down onto it in the darkness. After a good bit of fumbling, they ended with Seth lying lengthwise on the couch with EJ spread out on top of him. EJ took his cap back and removed the sunglasses in the darkness, putting them on the floor beside the couch.
He took Seth's hands again, locking their fingers together, this time drawing them up just over Seth's head. He found the boy's lips and opened them with his tongue. They kissed for a long time. Seth tried to pull his hands down from over his head, more for the assurance that he couldn't than from any particular desire to be free. As they wrestled in place, EJ's knees worked their way down between Seth's, which began to bend and grasp EJ's waist. It was the most natural of movements -- the petals of the flower opening for the bee.
The kisses became more vehement and forceful as they both began to give themselves over to need. It was strange doing it in pitch blackness, and Seth found himself centering on exactly what he was feeling. EJ's stubble was abrasive on his skin. It burned, though not in an altogether displeasing way. He could smell EJ's smell. The rough fabric of his jeans pressed against his dick.
EJ shifted his weight. He brought his two hands together over Seth's head. Unlocking the fingers of one hand, he took Seth's free wrist with his other so that he had the kid's arms locked in place with just one hand. Using it and his knees as balancing points, he lifted his hips off the boy. Seth's knees continued to grasp him around the waist. The kid followed him up, still locked together. With a few gentle rocks he was able to free himself. Seth's hips fell back to the couch, his knees opened.
Seth felt EJ fumbling at his waist. He felt his button being undone, and EJ's hand pulling his pants down. Seth lifted his butt off the couch slightly, enabling EJ to finish the chore. He pulled the kid's pants and shorts down to mid thigh. This pulled Seth's knees in. But as EJ was still between his feet, Seth found himself somewhat locked into position, prevented from opening his legs further by his pants, and prevented from closing them any by the invisible mass between them.
He heard more fumbling, and shortly the sound of a zipper and the rustle of fabric. There was motion between his legs, and he felt the cushions of the sofa rock back and forth as, he assumed, EJ was lowering his pants below each knee in turn. It was weird not to be able to see anything even though it was happening right on top of him.
EJ shifted his weight forward. Seth's knees were brought up to his own chest, his hips rotating up in the process. He felt EJ's fullness press against him beneath his balls.
"What if someone comes in?" Seth whispered.
"Shhhh," EJ said, just as softly. "No one's going to come in, babe. It's just you and me." His voice was reassuring, even in the dark. "See?" the voice said as the dick mashed into his perineum and slid back and forth a few inches. "Doesn't this feel right?"
He heard EJ spit and felt movement at his hamstrings as, he imagined, EJ was slicking up his dick. It happened a few more times. The fourth time, he felt a wet finger at his hole. It slid in, followed by a second, attempting to swab the area in spit. It disappeared, and he heard EJ spit again. The finger showed up again at his butt. Seth wanted to jerk himself, but his hands were still immobilized over his head.
There was more movement Down South, and Seth felt the fingers guiding the oversized head of EJ's dick to his hole. It pressed there, testing the tensile strength of the opening. The fingers came back and worked him a little while the head hovered a half-inch away. A little more spit was applied and the head pressed forward, pushing at the ring of muscles which had yielded to it just a few days before.
Seth took a deep breath, knowing what was coming. The head pushed forward until it popped through, but then stopped. Seth looked down, but, of course, couldn't see anything.
"Admit you like it when I'm in control," the voice whispered. EJ's face was so close to his Seth could feel the breath but he still couldn't see even an outline above him.
"Admit that was the hottest blow job you ever had," Seth heard his voice whisper back.
EJ's kiss materialized out of the blackness. It was devouring, demanding, devastating. It was the hottest kiss Seth had ever experienced. He was breathless when it was done. He found himself pushing up with his hips, trying to get more of EJ's magnificent dick into him. But EJ retreated as much as Seth advanced, leaving just the head inside.
"Admit you like it when I'm in control."
Seth tried to reach around EJ's waist with his ankles. If he could reach the jock's butt, he could pull EJ into himself. But his own pants were binding his knees. He couldn't gain leverage. He flexed again, but EJ was ready for him. He would not penetrate any farther than the head.
"It's okay, babe," the voice said. "It doesn't mean you lose just because I win. When I win, we both win. It's the way it's supposed to be. All you have to do is admit it."
Seth hated that the logic of it was sounding better and better. If he could just get his hands free -- or his ankles. But the truth of it was that in one respect EJ was right. They both did get pleasure from EJ's dick, and that did give him a measure of power. Worse, it did feel good when that power was exercised.
"You can still fight, babe. I know you like to. Imagine the battles we can have, huh? And I know how much you want this dick in you. Let me give it to you, babe. Let me make you happy."
Seth tried to free his hands one last time, hoping that EJ's grip could be jimmied by the fact that he was trying to hold both Seth's hands in his one. But the grip tightened beyond expectation and an elbow came down from nowhere to assist.
"Shhhh, babe," the voice said calming the attempt at action rather than any sound that had been made. "Shhhh. Give into it. Let go."
There was one last option. Seth rotated his hips the other way, trying to free himself from the intruder. EJ was ready for that move too. He lowered as easily as he had lifted. The movement caused some friction, but just enough to be tantalizing.
What if I did? Seth asked himself. What if I did say it? I wouldn't have to mean it, would I? After all, he had manipulated EJ at Candler's party, he had manipulated him before he even met him when they showed up to the football rehearsal, he had manipulated him into the kind of fuck he had wanted after the game. He was in control, and even if it was EJ's dick that they both liked, he was the one that could determine where and when. And one of the most important elements of control is letting the person you're controlling think they're in control. That was really the art of it.
EJ began to pulse his dick. Seth wasn't quite sure how he was doing it -- maybe he was clenching his ass muscles which sent just that little squirt more of blood forward. However he was doing it, the head of his dick began to throb like a heartbeat at Seth's hole. The tease brought him over the edge.
"I admit it," he heard himself whisper.
"You admit what?" the voice above him asked.
The silence of the room matched the darkness. He wondered if he could hear his own blood circulate.
"I admit I like it when you're in control."
Seth felt EJ's lips briefly graze his, then felt the jock's free hand gently cover his mouth. The plunge was quick, smooth, and to the hilt. When the muffled scream faded, the voice spoke again.
"That was the hottest blow job I ever had."