Date: Wed, 26 Nov 2003 19:26:08 +0000 From: Krys T Subject: Dealing With It 6 Zane It was three hours to the dance, and I waited with Ci for the rest of our group to arrive. It had been two weeks since my encounter with Ci at her house, and since that time the two of us had become close. We had spent the next morning curled up on the porch swing talking again, and during that time I learned some very interesting things about the school and my new friends. Her first shocking revelation was the school's policy on sexuality and harassment. For years I had heard the talk of severe punishment for harassment, but I had never seen the punishment enforced. My previous school had just looked the other way when someone was being harassed, or even beaten, especially if said person was gay. I lived in that forever, and to hear Ci explain our school's response to such actions was a definite shock to me. The first time someone is caught, or reported to be in violation, they are given a fair warning; if the infraction is non-violent. The second time, if the claim to both times is verified, the person is expelled. Don't pass GO, do not collect 200 dollars, go directly to jail. They don't even get three chances. If the harassment is physical, the person is expelled immediately and the police are contacted. I didn't believe her at first. It seemed too good to be true, until she told me about the cases that had already happened. I was definitely impressed. Her second shocker was even bigger than the first. She listed the names of some of the people who were out at school. She stressed the fact that not everyone was out and that she was leaving off some people who were out. Ci named a couple of people I would have already guessed if I had thought about it. Then she named two that were unbelievable: Rick and Jeff. I remember staring at her in disbelief when she told me that not only were the two of them gay, but they were a couple and had been for around two years. The idea of them being out at school and still being popular finally relaxed me enough that I could tell Ci my own story. She said nothing when I told her about my family, which was very different from hers. My mother had walked out years ago, leaving me, my father, and my younger sister alone. My father reacted pretty well when I told him I was gay. He wasn't thrilled, but he didn't kick me out or beat me up either. Lisa, my sister, had been supportive and helped me deal with all that she could. I had been pretty happy where I lived; even if I was so far in the closet you needed a map to find me, until my dad got a promotion. That was how I ended up here. Over the next two weeks I started watching the student body, noting those she had mentioned as some others who I'd wondered about. I also watched Jeff and Rick. The first thing I noticed was that they always sat together, almost touching. No matter where we were, they were always next to each other, shoulders and thighs close together, occasionally their knees would be touching. It was something I never noticed it before because I never looked. Another thing about the two of them was that they would always look at each other before answering a question, not to ask permission, but to acknowledged that whoever was about to speak was speaking for the both of them. They may have been a couple, but they weren't obvious about it. It was between them, not the rest of the world. Some other things came up in my discussion with Ci, the first being her name. She informed me that since I had slept with her I could no longer use her full name unless she was in trouble. Therefore she was to be called from then on "Ci." How she said all that with a straight face is beyond me, but I agreed. Her next order of business was one I wish she hadn't decided to tackle. It was, of course, Caelum. After ten minutes of her badgering me, I admitted that I was jonesing for Caelum. She laughed and told me that both she and Anthony were aware of it, but she had wanted me to say it. I begged her not to tell anyone, especially Caelum, and still laughing, she agreed. That was two weeks ago. The costume that I wore now scared me to no end. It was a Roman toga, barely. Meaning there was barely enough material there to cover me. Ci assured me it was decent, but looking at her costume, I wasn't convinced. She had taken our Amazon warrior idea and abducted it for herself. I had to admit that she looked striking in the gold and green two piece costume. But like me, a lot of flesh was showing. "Are you sure this is appropriate for a dance at a youth center?" I asked for the tenth time, gesturing to my barely there toga. "I've seen some of the costumes the kids are wearing. Compared to them, we're overdressed," she replied, adjusting her top so that it showed more cleavage. Anything else she would have said was cut off as Caelum came down the stairs, his costume revealing even more of his mocha skin than mine. "I hate you," he snarled at Ci. In relation to my Roman toga, she had dressed Caelum up as none other than a gladiator. The costume was composed of four simple things, well five if you count the sword. There was a pair of leather boots that stopped just short of his knees, above which was a kilt-like article that barely reached mid- thigh. He had a harness-like contraption that covered his chest and a helm on his head. Now, Russell Crowe was delicious in that movie, but the vision of Caelum standing in front of me put that to shame. I was glad that my costume was loose enough that my erection didn't make itself noticeable. I was also glad that, in his anger, Caelum hadn't noticed that we were almost a set. Ci had obviously set that up. She didn't say a word, only smiled and straightened his helm before turning and winking at me. Before Caelum could say anything else, Anthony, Jeff, Rick and Rich stumbled through the door muttering under their breath about strangling Ciana. Like ours, their costumes were interesting. Ci had dressed Rick and Jeff as a pair, just as she had to Caelum and me. Rick she had dressed as Hercules. Jeff, well I had helped pick Jeff's costume in retaliation for a prank he had pulled on my before practice a while back, and he was dressed as Xena. Separate, they both looked funny, but standing side by side, their costumes looked right. I had to admit that Ci knew what she was doing. Anthony was dressed as Judge Judy, complete with red wig, black robes and gavel. And Rich she had dressed as Britnay Spears in the Slave For You video. "Let's go, boys," Ci trumpeted once everything was to her liking, and we headed out to Rich's van and the dance. Caelum I really hated my sister. I truly did. I don't know what was going through that strange little mind of hers, but this costume was over the top. If I hadn't been in such a bad mood, I might have taken it all in stride, but the past couple of weeks had abraded my patience and sense of humour down to nothing. It started when I woke the Sunday morning after Zane had spent the night to find the two of them still asleep with their arms wrapped around each other. I wanted to cry as I sat on the edge of my bed, watching them. I wanted to scream, rant, break something; I wanted to do anything to relieve the pain inside me, but I didn't. Instead, I got myself some breakfast and sat in front of the TV, losing myself in the mindlessness of television. I barely acknowledged them when they got up, and I said nothing to Ci when she told me they would be upstairs. I know I hurt her, but some petty part of me wanted her to hurt like I did. When the day of the dance rolled around, I found myself in that ridiculous Roman gladiator costume. I expressed my opinion in three words, but Ci only smiled that smile I've come to dread. It wasn't her mischievous smile or her happy smile, it was the smile that said she was pissed, and when the current situation was over, you'd be hearing all about it. It wasn't the first clue I'd had that she was angry with me, but it was the most direct. Before I could say anything else, the guys came in wearing their costumes. Rick and Jeff were a matching pair and surprisingly, Rich looked good as Britney. Anthony wore the look that was definitely something you'd see on Judge Judy; absolute disgust. That didn't matter to my sister, she was in charge, and we had to wear what she picked out for us. The ride to the center was quiet, everyone lost in their own thoughts. As we rode in silence, I realized for the first time what Zane was wearing. A white toga, clasped on one shoulder, draped his body, leaving the right side of his chest bare. The air in the van was cool, and I could see the affect it was having on his body as his nipple hardened. Two laurel leaves were in his red-brown hair, and sandals were on his feet. He looked gorgeous, and I felt myself rise in response. I turned away, reminding myself that he was Ci's and I couldn't have him. That, of course, just made my mood worse. When we reached the center, we all went our separate ways to make sure that the areas we were in charge of were running smoothly. After an hour, the kids began to arrive, and we took on our chaperone duties; mingling through the crowd, checking for drugs, booze, and signs of violence. I confiscated a few things from the kids and handed them into Pastor Jason before returning to the dance floor. Rich was up on the stage playing an assortment of music, the backdrop providing a nice scene for him. Jeff stood behind the food table keeping an eye on things there, and Ci, Zane, and Rick moved through the crowd like me. After a few hours the younger kids left due to a curfew that Pastor Jason had in set. "Wanna dance?" asked a familiar voice. I turned to see Ci standing there, the lights reflecting off the gold on her costume. "Not right now," I replied shortly. "Why don't you dance with your boyfriend?" She stared at me hard before answering. "I don't know what you're talking about and I have a feeling that you don't either." "I'm talking about Zane," I told her. "It's obvious that you're a couple. He's over all the time. The two of you are all over each other all the time too. Kinda disgusting really. But it's easy to see he's crushing on you." "It's not me he's crushing on! It's-" she stopped. "You know what? Even if I could tell you that, I wouldn't. You're being a complete asshole. And I don't associate with assholes." I watched her walk away from me, gesturing madly with her hands. She ignored and avoided me for the rest of the night, not even looking my way when Anthony approached her to ask what was wrong. I could tell by the look he shot my way that she was telling him what had happened. "What the fuck were you thinking?" he snapped when he came my way. "I didn't do anything," I protested weakly. I was in the wrong and I knew it. No matter how angry I was, there was no reason to talk to Ci like that. She was my other half. Everyone always joked that she was my better half, and at that moment I wondered if they were right. "She asked me if you could crash at my place tonight. Her and Zane are gonna head home soon, and she doesn't want to deal with you." I stared at my best friend in shock. Ci actually wanted us to spend the night apart? Tears welled up in my eyes as I realized the magnitude of what I had done. Wiping them away, I came up with a better idea. "I don't think that's such a good idea. How `bout you spend the night at our house instead?" I replied. "I'll check with Ci, she might agree to that, as long as there's a referee that can handle you both there." He walked back to where Ci and Zane were slow-dancing to the music, their heads bent together. After a few minutes he came back. "All right. She says that should work. Made a comment that between me and Zane, we could keep her from killing you." When the dance ended, we all piled back into Rich's van after Pastor Jason had assured us that someone would clean up the mess in the morning. Rick and Jeff were dropped off first, and then Rich dropped the rest of us off. An uneasy feeling came over me as we climbed the front stairs. Mom's car wasn't there, and the door was locked, so I knew we were home alone before we even entered the house. We all grabbed something to drink before heading downstairs to change. Anthony and I changed in the bedroom, Zane had the living room, and Ci took the bathroom. We all came out looking like our normal selves, and Ci and Anthony headed upstairs to grab something to munch on, leaving me alone with Zane. He had curled up across from me, his feet tucked underneath him. I groaned softly as I realized he was wearing my shirt and shorts again. "Ci told me what happened." he said softly, looking at the floor in front of him. "I'm sorry that I came between you two. I didn't mean to." "You didn't," I told him brusquely, not wanting to hear him. "She said that you think we're dating and that you were jealous. I thought I should tell you, I'm not trying to take her away from you. Ci loves you." I stared at him. He thought I was jealous of his time with Ci, not Ci's time with him. "She said that, other than Anthony, neither of you have ever had a really close friend. That it's always been just the two of you, and you've always told each other everything. I think I knew that, but she never really came out and said it." I looked up to find him staring at me, his eye burning through me. "Ci kept her promise to me, even though by breaking it she could have made things better with you. I wonder if you know how great a sister you have?" "What are you talking about?" I asked, staring back into those deep green eyes. "What promise?" Zane Caelum's silver eyes flashed with barely suppressed anger as he stared at me. I wanted to tell him exactly what I felt for him, tell him how I thought about him almost all the time. I actually started to open my mouth when I heard the stairs creak, signalling Ci and Anthony's return. They came back bearing chips, popcorn, and more drinks. Anthony threw himself down beside Caelum, handing him a bowl of popcorn. Ci sat with me, turning so that she was leaning against me, facing away from her twin. I could feel the tension in her body as she turned the TV on and started flicking through the channels. The strain between sister and brother was starting to get to me, but when I opened my mouth to yell at both of them Anthony shook his head, silently telling me to keep quiet. I shut my mouth and turned back to the screen. Not Another Teen Movie was playing, and we watched it, laughing at the stupidity. But the laughter was forced, and I don't think any of us enjoyed the movie that much. There was too much unsaid, too much seething under the surface. When the movie finally finished it was around 2 a.m., and the problem of sleeping arrangements came up. "I am not sleeping out here again," Anthony stated firmly from his sprawl on the other couch. "It is way too freaky at night." I laughed. That was why I had slept in Ci's bed the last time I was here. "And," he continued, "I am not sleeping in the same bed as Cae." "Why not?" Cae asked irritably. "You hog the covers," Anthony laughed. "Besides, Ci's bed smells better." We all laughed, but again it was forced and brittle. "Fine," Ci said a small, mean smile on her lips. "You can bunk with me. Zane can sleep in Cae's bed." "And where am I suppose to sleep?" asked Cae, the faded anger back in his voice and at full force. Her smile got a little meaner. "I don't care, but Zane has first dibs on your bed. Consider it the first consequence for being an ass." She didn't wait for him to reply but stood and walked regally into the bedroom. Anthony followed her, laughing softly. Cae and I were left alone again, facing off across the room. I could see the confusion and pain etched on his face. I wanted to go to him and comfort him, to wrap my arms around him and tell him that Ci would forgive him. Eventually. But I couldn't. I knew it would back fire. So I stayed where I was, staring at his bent head. "I'll sleep on the couch," I heard myself say. His head snapped up and he looked at me in shock, as if he forgot I was sitting there. "I don't mind." Cae didn't say anything, just stared at me. Then, "Last time, why didn't you want to sleep out here?" I felt the blush run up my neck and flood my face and I cursed the paleness of my skin. "Um, cuz," I couldn't say it, didn't want to say it. "I'm afraid of the dark," I finally blurted, turning my burning face away. There was silence for a moment and then a small sound, a giggle. Followed by another, and another, until Cae was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe. When the absurdity of the situation hit me, I began to laugh as well. "We can share the bed," Cae said as soon as he finished laughing. "It's big enough, and you shouldn't have to sleep out here by yourself." He stood and pointed to the bedroom. "Go, I'll turn everything off out here." I stood up as soon as he turned away, hoping that there was some way to turn me off. Spending the night in the same bed as Cae was gonna be torture. And I wasn't into pain. In the bedroom, Ci and Anthony were already under the covers, whispering. I ignored them and climbed into Cae's bed. Ci stopped whatever she was saying as Cae came into the room and climbed in behind me. She nudged Anthony, whose back was to us, and he turned over, his face a portrait of shock. Laughing softly, Cae reached over me to flick off the light, plunging the room into darkness. "Night Zane," he whispered softly. "Night," I whispered back. There was silence as the events of the night began to take toll. Soon, there was the sound of deep breathing beside me as Cae sank into sleep. I lay there on his bed, trying to will myself to sleep, trying to ignore his warm body next to me. Finally, unable to keep my eyes open any longer, I gave into sleep as well, curiously content to be where I was.