Date: Mon, 13 Oct 2003 13:03:52 +0000
From: Magic Man <magicman3649@hotmail.com>
Subject: The Footballer Part 4

The usual disclaimer:

This story is a work of fiction. It contains scenes that involve sex between
consenting adult males and if this offends you, or if you are underage, or
prohibited by law from viewing such material, leave now.

Thanks for the continuing response to the story. I thought it would be
interesting to tell the story from Dan's perspective so this chapter is a
recap of the first three chapters but told through Dan's point of view. Hope
you like it. The next part will be the conclusion. Comments as always to
blueboy3649@hotmail.com


****************************

Part Four


Until that fateful spring evening, I'd never really taken much notice of Lee
that way. We got on well, and I thought he was a nice guy, but we didn't
really know each other off the pitch. At nineteen, I'd been with more girls
than most guys my age. I never had trouble getting the girls, I guess good
looks are something I was just blessed with. The trouble is, most girls only
ever seemed to want me for one thing. And yeah, the sex was good but there
was always something missing; none of these girls seemed to want a
relationship that was based on anything more than sex. Most guys my age
would kill to be in that position but not me -- call me strange but I wanted
something more meaningful.

My philosophy is to never knock something until you've tried it, and I
always like to try things at least once, be it bungee jumping, drugs or
indeed gay sex. In the last couple of years, I'd thought about gay sex more
and more; what it would be like to kiss another guy, what giving head would
taste like, how it would feel to have a dick pumping your arse. I decided
that if the opportunity ever arose, I would take it.

And it was more than an opportunity that arose, that night in the sports
centre showers, when I caught Lee looking lustfully at my dick when he
thought my eyes were closed. I noticed he was starting to get a stiffy
before he realised and turned away to try to hide it from me. That's when I
knew I had my chance; I grabbed Lee's dick and it went from there.

I'd fingered myself a couple of times before, and it had always felt good, a
different kind of pleasure than you get from ordinary sex. I was a little
apprehensive at first when Lee said he wanted to stick his dick up there,
but it didn't take much persuasion for me to succumb. After all, I reminded
myself, this was the opening (pun intended) I had been waiting for.

Despite the immense pain of getting fucked for the first time - and the
slightly uncomfortable feeling afterwards - it gave me the best orgasm I'd
ever had, and I wanted more. What I wasn't expecting, though, were the
powerful feelings of guilt and shame that followed. Coming from a religious
family, I'd always grown up with a strong sense of right and wrong, and
being gay was definitely not something that was considered right. That, and
society's view, especially my mates' narrow-minded attitudes towards
homosexuality, were more than enough to convince me that what I had done was
wrong. So I tried to push the previous night's events to the back of my
mind, and vowed to "stay straight".

It seemed my dick, however, wouldn't let me forget the episode so easily,
standing to attention as I lay in bed first thing in the morning. I allowed
myself one wank under the covers, as I replayed last night in my mind, and
soon I had sprayed my chest and stomach with hot, juicy cum. Just as I was
wondering whether Lee might also be playing with himself in bed, my phone
beeped with the proud announcement of a newly arrived text message.

"Morning, big boy." It was from Lee, and I couldn't help but read it with a
smile on my face, before remembering what I'd promised myself. So I ignored
it, showered and went about my day as usual, only to be sent another one
that evening which said "Hope the arse isn't too sore."

Actually, my arse was feeling almost back to normal now, but I wasn't going
to let Lee know, and I continued to ignore him. When the third text arrived,
asking me out for a drink, it was starting to annoy me. My determination not
to get involved with him was as strong as ever, and I would have appreciated
him not try to make it more difficult for me.

I next saw Lee at football the following week. Undoubtedly he was going to
quiz me about the text messages, and I'd decided I was gonna play it really
cool. Perhaps I played it a little too cool, though, because we seemed to
annoy the fuck out of each other on the pitch. I'd never played a worse game
of football in my life, and I was glad when it was over.

****************************

The following Saturday, it was Mark's birthday, and he'd arranged to go out
for a few drinks at the Rat and Parrot in town. I wasn't going to go because
I wanted to stay away from Lee -- if I was being honest, I didn't completely
trust myself to resist his advances -- but when he said he couldn't make it,
I decided I'd go after all. However, an hour into the drinking, he turned
up, and I couldn't help but suspect he'd deliberately tricked me into
coming. As much as I tried to avoid Lee that night, he always seemed to
catch up with me, mostly by following me into the toilet. All I wanted was
for him to leave me alone, and in the end I took to snogging some blonde
tart who'd been eyeing me up for a while, thinking that if that didn't tell
him I wasn't interested, nothing would. In between our kissing, I looked
over at Lee, who was watching us in disgust, and gave him a smile that said
"See, I like girls, not boys."

The tart and I both lived with our parents, so going back to either of our
places tonight was going to be difficult, but I scribbled her phone number
down on my hand and promised to ring her, even though I had absolutely no
intention of doing so. I just wanted to show Lee that I'd got her number.

And then there was this bizarre conversation between myself, Lee, Mark and
Stuart, entirely engineered by Lee, in which he indirectly declared his
feelings for me without letting on to Mark and Stuart (although for their
benefit, we referred to Lee as some girl I'd fucked the other night). I took
the opportunity to emphasise that I didn't want to see this girl, aka Lee,
again, and that I wished she'd take the hint and leave me alone.

Even though I still had this secret and suppressed longing for Lee which I
couldn't deny, I kept telling myself I wasn't gay and, come closing time, I
couldn't wait to get away from him. I knew that if I gave him the chance, my
will power would crumble and he could talk me into anything. So I walked
home by myself instead of getting a cab with the other three.

I was half-way home when, out of nowhere, Lee appeared. I couldn't believe
it. All I wanted was to get on with my life and forget about my one night of
gay passion, and here he was, the constant reminder of it, confronting me at
every corner. I knew he wanted me and I knew he knew that deep down I wanted
him too, but I was determined not to give in to him. We walked home with Lee
trying to talk to me about the night we had sex, and about my suppressed
feelings for him, and about my being in denial of my true sexuality.
Everything he said was true but I didn't want to listen, and the more he
went on, the more he annoyed me. Eventually I lost control and had him up
against the wall, not intent on hurting him, but just wanting him to shut up
with his hurtful truths. As I stared at his face, it suddenly dawned on me
how sexy he was; it had never really occurred to me as a direct thought, but
I fancied the hell out of him. I knew right then that my first gay
experience wasn't going to be just a one-off. I could deny it as much as I
liked, but the truth was that I was gay, and I wanted Lee just as much as he
wanted me.

I kissed Lee with all my passion, and it was the most liberating feeling. It
was what I wanted more than anything in the world at that moment.
Subconsciously, I'd wanted to kiss him all the time we were in the pub and
now I came to think of it, it was Lee I was thinking of while I was getting
off with the blonde. I couldn't believe I didn't know that until now.

Despite the fact that we were out in public, I let Lee take my dick out of
my jeans, and I was only too happy to let him suck me off. I'd had plenty of
blowjobs before, but this was easily the best. I'd heard somewhere that guys
give the best head and now I knew it to be true -- he seemed to know just
what to do with his mouth and his tongue. He even swallowed all of my
offerings, something no girl had ever done before.

Just as Lee had virtually licked me dry, I heard a sound nearby -- all of a
sudden, reality kicked back in and I found myself panicking about what would
happen if anyone had seen us. Despite my surrender to Lee tonight, I was
nowhere near ready yet to admit I was gay, and the thought of anyone finding
out left me scared out of my wits. Lee thought I was being paranoid but I
had definitely heard something and it had left me with this horrible feeling
that someone was watching.

I quickly zipped up and headed off towards the end of the alley, with Lee at
my heels, only stopping when we were back on the road. After getting our
breaths back, I calmed down a little and I was ready to accept that there
was a small possibility I had imagined it. Lee asked whether I wanted to
meet up again, and I was still thinking with my dick -- I wanted him
desperately, and knowing my parents would be out at a wedding all day
tomorrow, with my heart in my mouth, I told him to come over in the
afternoon.

****************************

When I woke up the next morning, the familiar feelings of guilt and shame
had come flooding back, as I recalled Lee's exceptional blowjob. They were
so strong that, come two o'clock, I had half a mind not to answer the door
when Lee knocked. I kept him waiting while I tried to make a decision and in
the end, I let him in, still extremely uncertain about the whole idea of him
being there.

We sat inside and exchanged trivialities for a bit. Lee kept making
suggestive comments, which I kept ignoring. I was starting to feel very
uneasy, and I was regretting inviting him over. I was scared of what it
might lead to if Lee stayed, even though sex is exactly what I'd had in mind
when I did ask him round. You're not gay, I kept telling myself, last night
meant nothing. I asked Lee to leave, and he sat there on the couch, looked
understandably hurt. This made me feel even worse; I wanted to apologise to
him, I so wanted to go over and kiss him, but a voice inside kept telling me
not to, and insisting I wasn't gay. But the truth is that I was, and it was
as if I'd slept with too many women to realise.

Lee made a little outburst of more home truths, all of which I knew, but
still I made no effort to ease his frustration or his pain. Eventually, he
got up to leave and I followed him to the door. I could see how upset he
was, and he didn't deserve to be treated like this. He turned to open the
door. What the fuck am I doing, I asked myself. How could I just let him
leave like that? And, somehow, just at the last minute, my desire came
through, and the voice in my head was replaced with the eager hammering of
my heart and the stirring in my pants.

"Don't go," I said weakly, as I put my hands on his waist. He turned to face
me and we looked into each other's eyes, exchanging feelings that words
could never express. Then he planted the most tender kiss on my lips, and
all my remaining doubts subsided. He was all I wanted at that moment in
time. I led him up the stairs and into my bedroom, never more sure about
anything, to make love all afternoon.

We exchanged hot kisses and I performed my first ever blowjob, which I
enjoyed much more than I thought I would. I even swallowed all of Lee's cum,
much to his amazement. Then I fucked him, and it was the best fuck I'd ever
had. The muscles in his tight butt gripped my cock like no pussy ever had.

It was an almost perfect afternoon, spoilt only by Mark ringing, but I
enjoyed Lee trying to distract me while I was on the phone; it was quite a
thrill, having him kiss and caress me while I was trying to have a
conversation with Mark.

Then there was this fantasy I'd had for a while now, and I felt adventurous
enough to try and fulfil it; I got us both lying a position where both our
cocks were touching, and I wanked us both off together. We both blew our
loads together, high up in the air and then back down over our hot bodies;
it was the most intense orgasm I'd ever had, and Lee's too.

We lay in each other's arms afterwards and it was the most perfect feeling.
I felt like I was somewhere I belonged. I felt like I'd found what I'd been
missing in all my previous relationships. It was a shock when Lee told me he
loved me; I'd never had that said to me before. I didn't return the
sentiment though, because I'd never really thought about whether I loved him
or not. I guess I was beginning to fall in love with him, but at the same
time I was scared. Lee calmed my paranoia and promised he wouldn't tell
anyone about us. He also called me "babe" -- a couple of my previous
girlfriends had called me "babe" before but a guy calling me it felt weird.
I think I liked it though.

****************************

That evening, after Lee had left, Mark rang again, and said he needed to
talk to me, so I told him to come over. He didn't say much more than that on
the phone, so I thought he was in some kind of trouble. I grabbed a couple
of beers from the fridge and we took them upstairs to my room, where Mark
sat on the bed, while I put on a CD for a little background music.

"So what's up?" I asked him.

He looked agitated, as if he didn't quite know what to say.

"Are you in trouble or something?" I prompted.

"No, it's nothing like that," he said.

"Then what?" I asked.

"Sit down," he said. "There's something I need to do."

Something he needed to do? That seemed to me to be a strange thing to say. I
put down my beer and sat next to him, intrigued by what this thing was that
he had to do. He looked nervous as hell.

"I... I should have done this a long time ago..." he said, only just able to
get the words out. Then he simply moved forward and put his lips on mine.

For a couple of seconds, I didn't move. I was gobsmacked -- literally! My
mind went blank. I could never have imagined that this was the thing he had
always wanted to do. To kiss me.

As soon as my senses returned and it actually hit me that Mark was kissing
me, I broke off and backed away from him. He sat there with his eyes closed
for a few seconds, before finally opening them and smiling.

"Sorry," he said. "I always wanted to."

I continued to stare at him in shock, not knowing what to say.

"So why now?" I said finally.

"Now I know that you like boys," he said.

"What? I don't like boys!"

"What about Lee?"

Holy shit. How the fuck did he know? Or did he know? Could he just be
guessing? Bluffing?

"Lee?" I asked, acting like I didn't have a clue what he was talking about.

"Yeah, you know..." he said. "That guy you were screwing this afternoon."

Oh fuck. It was no bluff. He knew alright.

"Mark, I dunno what you're on about..." I began, but he cut me short.

"Drop the act. He told me."

No way. I stared at him in even more disbelief. There was no way Lee would
have told him. But then how else could he know? There was no other
explanation.

"When?" I said, quietly.

"After he got home this afternoon."

"He can't have," I said, still not wanting to believe it.

"He told me everything," said Mark. "What happened in the showers that
night. What happened in the alley last night. Him giving you a--"

"Yeah, alright!" I snapped. I didn't want to hear the gory details from him.

"And there's something else you should know."

"What?"

"It's not just me he's been telling."

"WHAT?"

"He's been telling all his mates. Bragging about it."

A mixture of panic and anger was flaring up inside me. How could Lee do this
to me? He'd given me his word. He'd promised he wouldn't say anything to
anyone. For fuck's sake, he'd told me he loved me!

"And there's more," Mark said quietly. He had his head in his hands. "I know
you don't wanna hear it but I might aswell get it all out now."

What more could there be?

"It's not just you he's been... sleeping with. He's got about four other
guys on the go."

This was just getting worse and worse. And it didn't make sense. Lee didn't
seem the sort. One of the best days of my life was fast becoming one of the
worst.

"I'm really sorry," said Mark.

"How do you know?" I said. "I mean, about him sleeping around?"

"I spoke to a friend of his after he called me. Well, a friend of ours
really. From school."

"And who are these... these other guys he's screwing?"

"I don't know names."

We sat in silence for a while, as I reflected on what Mark had told me.
Lying in Lee's arms just hours earlier had felt so perfect, so right. How
could I have got it so wrong?

"You think you know someone," I muttered.

"Yeah, I know," Mark agreed.

"Oh well, his loss, not mine," I said, and I stood up and composed myself,
forcing a smile, pretending I didn't care. I was hurting inside but I wasn't
going to show that to Mark.

"You're alright about it?" Mark asked in surprise.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied. "I didn't like him that much anyway. And it was
just a... like a phase, or something. It's just something I wanted to try
once, you know. I'm definitely sticking to women from now on. Definitely."

"Are you sure?" asked Mark, with something of a look of concern on his face.
What with the revelation about Lee's betrayal, I'd completely forgotten that
Mark had just tried to kiss me. That was the immediate issue I now had to
deal with.

"Yeah, mate, I'm sure," I said assertively, looking straight at him.

"Will you sit down a minute?" he said. He must have read my apprehension,
because he quickly added, with a smile, "I promise I won't try to kiss you
again."

I sat down, ensuring there was a suitable gap between us, waiting for the
next bombshell.

"I think I'm in love with you."

He just came straight out with it. No meandering, no stuttering, he just
spoke the words out loud. Once again, I was dumbfounded. Before today,
nobody had ever told me they were in love with me, and now two people had
done so in the space of a few hours, both of them guys at that.

"Are you sure?" I asked, with the concern of someone who's just been told
about a terminal illness. "I mean, how do you know?"

"Trust me, I know."

"How long have you known?"

"Dunno, a while. I didn't think you'd be interested until... well, until I
found out about you and Lee."

"So what makes you think I'm interested now?"

"Are you?" he asked, and I could tell from his face that he was dreading the
answer.

"I told you," I said. "I'm sticking to women from now on."

"Maybe you just need time to think about it, get used to the idea."

"Yeah, maybe," I said, thankful of the excuse to ask him to leave. "Yeah,
that's a good idea, I think I need some time on my own, you know, to sort my
head out."

"That's cool," said Mark, and he stood up, now smiling again. We walked down
the stairs to the front door and, before he left, he turned to look at me.

"Just one kiss?" he asked hopefully. I didn't know what I wanted. My head
was still in a spin from all the revelations of the last few minutes, and I
just looked at him without saying anything. Mark took this for a yes, and
put his lips on mine. I let him do so but didn't respond.

"A proper kiss," he whispered, and I could feel his tongue on my lips,
trying to find a way in. I reminded myself how much I enjoyed kissing, and
then I thought, fuck it. Lee had betrayed me, but here was an instant
replacement. After all, it was only a kiss. I opened my mouth and Mark
immediately slipped his tongue in. I did the same, and we had a hot, full-on
kiss. Mark was using one hand to get a good feel of my chest and nipples,
with the other gently stroking the back of my neck. Then he moved his groin
so that it was touching mine, and suddenly I felt that things were becoming
too intense. I didn't want this one kiss to lead to anything more, at least
not just yet. It was only a matter of hours ago that I'd had sex with Lee,
for fuck's sake!

"I'm sorry, Mark, this is doing my head in," I said, as I broke myself away.

"That's OK," he said, with a satisfied smile. He'd obviously got more than
he'd bargained for anyway. "Seeya."

I closed the door behind him, and leant against it with my eyes closed. I
thought again about everything Mark had said, playing the entire
conversation back in my head. I was upset by the fact that I was apparently
just another notch on Lee's bedpost. I was angry with myself for believing
that he was different to all the girls I'd dated. I was confused about the
fact that Mark, who I had never imagined was anything but straight, had
openly declared his love for me. But most of all, I was scared. Scared
shitless of the fact that there were people who now knew that I'd had sex
with another man. OK so I probably didn't know any of them but surely
someday, somehow, it would get back to someone I knew. And I was dreading
that day more than anything.

Over the next twenty-four hours, those feelings of guilt and shame returned
to haunt me, stronger than ever. I wanted to be anything but gay. Mark and
Lee both phoned and texted me but I ignored their calls and messages. This
couldn't go on. It was time for some kind of action.

And so I rang Tina, the busty blonde girl from Saturday night. The phone
number had almost faded over the forty-eight hours since I'd scribbled it on
my hand, but I was just about able to make it out. She seemed pleased to
hear from me and we went out for a drink on the Tuesday night. In all
honesty, she wasn't the most interesting girl I'd ever dated, but she was
very attractive and being seen with her would be great for my credibility,
should any rumours about me and boys ever get out...

On the Wednesday I asked her if she wanted to come and watch me play
football and she jumped at the chance, bringing a friend along with her.
This would show both Mark and Lee where my sexuality lied, I thought.

I made sure to kiss Tina in full view of both of them when they arrived, and
their faces were something to remember. After their initial shocks, Mark
quietly ignored me and skulked off on to the pitch, but Lee didn't take it
quite as well, confronting me almost as soon as he saw her. I told him that
I knew the truth about him cheating on me and, just as I expected, he denied
it all. He gave an Oscar-worthy performance, though, I had to give him that.

I had an outstandingly good game, spurred on by Tina's incessant cheering;
it was obvious she didn't have a clue about football, bless her stupid
little heart. Lee and Mark sulked off the pitch at the end of the game, and
I noticed them briefly arguing, before setting off on their respective ways
home. My work tonight had been accomplished.

****************************

Things got better over the next few days, with neither Lee nor Mark making
any attempt to get in touch with me. I'd often catch myself thinking about
Lee and that perfect afternoon of love-making, but then I'd resolutely find
something else to occupy my mind. At the weekend, I received a text from
Mark asking whether we were still talking, and I replied that we were. I
figured there was no point bearing a grudge against Mark, as after all, none
of it was his fault. So we made things up and, to show there were no hard
feelings, I accepted his invitation on Tuesday evening to go over to his
place for a couple of beers.

Maybe I'm weak, maybe I'm stupid, or maybe I'm just downright gay, because
one thing led to another and, within half an hour of me getting to Mark's
place, he had me locked in a kiss. I wanted to fight it, but I was enjoying
the feel of his lips on mine and our tongues sliding against each other. And
every time I closed my eyes, I imagined it was Lee I was kissing, not Mark.
I wasn't particularly turned on or taken in by the passion, but I just found
myself going with the flow, letting Mark take control. Within minutes, he
had undressed us both, and was feasting his hungry eyes on my cock.

It wasn't that Mark didn't have a nice body, and even his hard-on was a nice
sight, but seeing him naked just wasn't doing anything for me. The magic
that had been there when I was with Lee with absent now, and try as I might,
I just couldn't get myself aroused. I wanted Mark to be Lee, there was no
denying it. The lying, cheating son-of-a-bitch that he was, he still had a
hold on me, and there was nothing I could do.

"I reckon I could cum just staring at your body," said Mark with a smile. He
went to grab my limp dick, keen to get it hard, but I pushed him away. "I'm
sorry, mate. I don't wanna do this."

He stared up at me in surprise. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I said. "I just don't wanna do this."

He looked like his world had just come crashing down, which I suppose it
had.

"Don't do this to me, Dan. You don't know how long I've been waiting for
this."

I didn't say anything. I just wanted to go home.

"Please," he begged, delicately stroking his erection. He was obviously
desperate for a bit of relief and I felt sorry for him. How could I get him
this aroused and then walk away? I wouldn't do it to Lee, and I couldn't do
it to him. I decided I would let him watch me and jack off.

"Alright," I said. "No touching."

"What?" He looked at me in confusion.

"You just said you could cum staring at my body."

"But..." he struggled.

"Take it or leave it," I said.

He didn't need to think too hard about it. "OK," he said. "But upstairs."

He led me up the stairs and into his bedroom. He lay on the bed, dick in
hand, I sat on a chair, and we both started touching ourselves. With one
hand resting on my thigh, I rubbed the inside of my other thigh with the
other hand, letting my thumb occasionally touch my balls. Mark was gently
stroking his erection with one hand and rubbing his other over his chest,
his eyes fixed lustfully on me.

I brought my other hand up to my chest and started tweaking my nipple, my
other hand now involuntarily wandering upwards, stroking the area around my
pubes. Touching myself this way was making me horny as fuck, and I let out
an uncontrollable moan as I looked down and realised that I was rock hard. I
couldn't get over how much I was arousing myself. The delicate touch of my
own fingers on my skin was driving me wild.

Mark was sighing softly, playing with his cock and balls with one hand, and
rubbing the other all over his body, his eyes still firmly fixed on me
touching my naked body. I was putting on a damn good show for him and I
could imagine just how much he must have been enjoying it.

"Open your legs a bit," Mark whispered.

Without even thinking about it, I slid forwards in my chair so that I was
nearly horizontal, spread my legs wide open and hitched my knees up
slightly. Stroking my cock with my left hand, I let my right hand slide down
my thigh and inserted my finger into my hole. Man, it felt good.

Mark looked like he was heaven. And it was turning me on just watching the
reaction on his face as I slowly finger-fucked myself for his pleasure.

"Oh, fuck," Mark moaned loudly. "You've got no fuckin' idea what you're
doing to me."

"And you've got no fuckin' idea what I'm doing to myself," I thought.

Mark moved his hand away from his cock, presumably because he didn't want to
come too soon, and I was surprised he had even lasted this long by the look
on his face. He rubbed the insides of his thighs then moved up to his chest
and worked on his nipples, never for a second taking his eyes off me.

As I continued to satisfy myself with my finger, I saw Mark's expression
suddenly become more intense, and his moans grew louder. And then, to my
disbelief, his cock began spurting out hot spunk all by itself!

I stopped finger-fucking myself and watched with my mouth open as he blew
his load all over his chest and stomach, using his hands to massage each
fresh spurt of spunk into his skin. When he'd said earlier he could cum just
staring at my body, he wasn't wrong. I had no idea anyone could cum without
direct stimulation... I must have been turning him on something chronic to
do that.

"Thanks for the most amazing fuckin' orgasm ever," he whispered, after
recovering from the experience. He got up and walked over to me, his body
glistening with cum. Without even bothering to ask, he got down on his knees
in front of me and started giving me a blowjob.

"No touching," I had said earlier, but fuck, who was I to refuse a blowjob?
I put my hands on the back of his head, guiding him up and down my tool, and
I closed my eyes and instinctively started to think about Lee. I imagined it
was his head in my hands, his lips on my cock. It didn't take long for these
thoughts to bring me to climax, and Mark expertly swallowed every last drop.

Once my orgasm subsided and I began to return to my normal state of mind, I
found myself wanting to leave. Yes it was true that I'd just had a most
enjoyable sexual experience, but I felt like I shouldn't have been there at
all. I felt a certain amount of guilt about cheating on Lee, which I knew
was a completely irrational thing to feel, given the fact that he was
four-timing me. But I was feeling it and there was nothing I could do about
it.

Sensing that the "no touching" rule was no longer applicable, Mark slid his
hands up my body and then reached up to kiss me.
"I've gotta go," I said, pushing him away and heading for the door.

Why the fuck couldn't I get over Lee? As I drove home, I even found myself
half-contemplating the idea of forgiving him and letting him fuck me again.
In the end, I couldn't decide whether I wanted him to be at football
tomorrow or not.

****************************

As it happened, he didn't turn up.

I took an over-excited Tina with me again, with the intention of just
re-iterating the message to Lee and Mark that I wasn't interested in either
of them. I felt safer from their emotional clutches when she was around.
Mark arrived shortly after me, looking noticeably more solemn-faced and
serious than I expected him to be, given the events of last night. He was
the last of the ten to arrive, so I had already figured that Lee wasn't
playing.

"Where's Lee?" I asked him.

"He's not playing, he's er-" Mark struggled to get the words out. "He's in
hospital," he said, finally.

"Hospital?" I said, suddenly worried.

"He got hit by a car yesterday," Mark said. "His mum rang me this
afternoon."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Didn't think you'd wanna know."

"Is he... is he alright?" I couldn't hide the concern in my voice.

"Not really, he's in a pretty bad way. In intensive care."

A feeling of horror soared through me, and that's when I finally realised
that, no matter what Lee had done to me, I loved him. The thought of him
dying was unbearable.

"He... he is gonna make it, though, isn't he?" I said, noticing that my
voice was now wavering.

"I dunno, mate," he replied grimly.

With that, he walked off, still looking glum, and I stood there staring into
space, feeling more scared than I'd ever been. I didn't know what I'd do if
Lee died. I knew now that I loved him, and I had never been more sure of
anything. He was the nicest guy, he had a great sense of humour, I enjoyed
being with him, I thought about him when he wasn't there, I fancied him like
hell and sex with him was wonderful. He made me happy. It couldn't be
anything but love. So what the fuck had I been doing these past couple of
weeks, trying to deny these feelings, trying to deny myself my happiness?

I looked at my mobile and retrieved a text Lee had sent me some three days
ago. "I don't care what you think of me," it read. "I love you."

Clearly it wasn't just my happiness I had been denying. I looked over to
Mark, who was now on the pitch, then to Tina, who gave me an enthusiastic
wave, and then back at the text message. I put my phone away and, feeling
completely numb, walked towards the pitch, ready to start the game.


OK so I didn't advance the story much but I filled in a few blanks...
conclusion to follow. Please continue to e-mail comments and suggestions to
blueboy3649@hotmail.com