I Only Wanted Aaron - Part 12
by Jordan West
© August 7, 2003 by Jordan West
It CAN be sweet. You CAN be nice, and so can he. Tell yourself, "I don't have to get mad about that. I'm the master of my emotions. I won't let negatives rule me."
If male-male sex, gay relationships, or teen sex offends you, or if you disapprove of this, or if you are not of the right age to read about it, please--to protect your rights and the rights of others, stop reading now, and go elsewhere.
(Remember: A whole sentence/paragraph in italic represents Aaron's thoughts.)
The "chatter" or newsletter now comes after the chapter. I hope you like that. This edition has less chatter and mostly serious stuff about the story. If the chatter is a pain, and you think I should just stick to important story notes--or you want to write and talk for any reason--please send an email. (If you don't want an answer, just say, "do not reply.") See notes on email, after the chapter.
Main Characters and their Ages (a reminder):
"Oh, God, Aaron!" I shouted into the phone. "Did some one break in? Are you hearing noises, in there?"
"No, he didn't break in, I let him in!" Aaron sounded shaky and unsure.
"You LET him in? Aaron, what's wrong?" I was losing it. Aaron was upset, and he could tell I was getting upset. We weren't understanding each other. Aaron sounded frantic, actually.
"Goddammit, Brian, are you fucking with me?" Aaron said angrily. "Are you doing one of your voice things on me? Is this Brian? Look, this is serious shit!"
Why did Aaron keep saying that I was Brian?
This was too crazy. Scotty was in my bedroom, and now someone sounding exactly like Scotty is telling me he's on the phone with me, and keeps saying a lot of weird stuff, too. I started thinking, 'I hope this is a fucking dream.'
"Oh, God, Aaron." I started to cry. It sounded like Aaron was really losing it, and I couldn't stand even the thought of that--much less hear him, like this. "No, it's not Brian, it's me, Scott! You made love to me last night, Aaron, remember? You fucked me." Now I was bawling, for real. I had said the "F" word. I felt cheap, talking about our lovemaking like it was a password to some dirty book store.
"God, Scotty! Oh my God! OK, OK.--Don't cry, OK?"
"But, I swear, Scotty, this guy came to the door--he looks just like you, so I let him in, and--"
"Looks like me? Aaron, it's Mark! That's who you got, there." I couldn't stop shaking.
"What? Who the fuck is Mark?"
"Mark's my twin brother. He's in military school."
"Are you guys playing games with me? This isn't funny, Scott!"
"No. NO, Aaron, I swear!"
"Why didn't you tell me about him?"
"He's in military school, he gets into trouble all the time, Aaron--sometimes big trouble. I . . . I--"
Aaron hung up. I was losing it. Maybe I was losing Aaron, too. I could feel myself falling apart--my face was flushing red, I could feel that, too. I wanted to go find Brian. I had to talk to him--and there he was, all of a sudden. This was freaky.
"Scott, What's up?"
"Oh, God, Brian! Mark's over at Aaron's house, right now!!
"Yes! And he's in Aaron's bedroom!!" I was shaking so bad, Brian grabbed me and held me. I was definitely losing it.
"Tooter, calm down." Brian said to me, using my old nickname again, "It's OK. How do you know this?"
"It's NOT OK!! Aaron, he--he was on the phone--that's who called, and--oh God! If they--I mean--I'll never forgive myself! Never!!" I was shouting, almost raving. I couldn't stop crying, and I know I was scaring Brian.
"God, Tooter, it's not your fault!" Brian said, hugging me and catching some of my desperation, "How long has Mark been there?"
Brian was no dummy. He knew right away what I was thinking--what I was worried about. Meanwhile, I tried to calm down, but I was bawl city, big time. I started to shake hard, from the crying.
"I don't know. He didn't say!"
"Damn! You OK, Tooter?"
"Yeah, I guess. It's just--I don't know."
"Scott--we gotta get over there right away!"
"We? Bri, why should you go?"
"Tooter, if there's trouble, it might take two of us, just in case you--"
"OK, let's go!"
We rode our bikes over to Aaron's house. It was only a few minutes' ride, but it seemed to take forever. Aaron was outside, waiting for us at the end of his driveway.
"Scotty, it's OK." That was Aaron's greeting. Aaron knew I was upset and nervous, to say the least.
I got off the bike and threw myself into a hug with Aaron.
"Aaron! What's going on? Why are you out here and not inside with Mark?" I said, almost whining.
"He's not hurt bad--he was in a fight, I think--"
"Hurt? Oh, my God, Aaron! What--"
"Easy Scotty. I patched him up--he wasn't bleeding bad. It looks worse than it is. I didn't have time to wash him up, much.--"
We stepped into the house.
"Aaron, why didn't you tell me he was hurt?"
Aaron kept explaining, as we tromped down the hall.
"Scotty, I couldn't tell you that over the phone--I wanted you to get here in one piece. It's not as bad as it looks, OK? I think he's been drinking. He won't say much. There's a lot of small spots, but it's really not that much blood. I had to hang up when I did--I was still patching him up, then. Scotty, I'm sorry--I panicked--I thought it was you, lying there. Jesus, Scotty! I thought you were--"
I stopped and hugged Aaron again. I finally realized that he thought I was hurt--that I was the one he'd been 'patching up,' but it was really my identical twin, Mark. "I'm sorry, Aaron."
"It's OK, Scotty--it's ok."
We got to the bedroom.
"MARK!" I shouted.
Both Mark and the bed looked to be covered with blood. Aaron and Brian had to practically restrain me, as I threw myself on the bed--trembling--my elbows on either side of Mark's chest. I totally lost it.
"Scotty, EASY!" Aaron said.
"Mark! Mark, I love you!! I'm sorry.... It was so hard, growing up--I didn't do it on purpose, I swear, Mark.... Talk to me!! MARK!!"
I felt like this was my fault. I was practically yelling.
"Scotty, chill. You're scaring him, OK, buddy?" Aaron said, calmly.
"Tooter--yeah, easy," Brian said to me with a brotherly hand on my back.
I did manage to calm down some and speak softer to my twin, who looked like he was dying. Both Aaron and Brian were rubbing my back and shoulders, trying to soothe me. But my heart was still breaking and pounding at the bad shape Mark seemed to be in.
"Mark. I love you. Are you OK?"
"Yeah, Scott... I'll live, man," Mark said. His voice was a low whisper. He seemed barely conscious. I was scared Mark was really hurt and something bad would happen to him.
Aaron told me that he'd called coach Bennett, who had the most medical training of all the people we knew, and he said he'd be right over to examine Mark. It was such a relief for me to know that. Bennett coached the swim team at our school.
"I called him just in case, Scotty... he owes me a few, anyway. The only thing is--before he gets here--we gotta find out what drugs Mark took."
"Mark," I said softly, with my hand on his forehead, "What did you take?"
"Just some beer, is all."
"Yeah, I smell the beer. OK, Mark. Are you sure?"
"Yeah," Mark said without lifting his head from the pillow. He was very groggy.
Aaron could tell I was tense and worried, and put a calming hand on my shoulder.
"OK, Mark," Aaron said-- "Coach Bennett's coming over. We gotta tell him everything."
"I swear, man. Just the beer. I wouldn't hold back on you, now."
I wanted to ask Mark how he got so banged up, but I didn't think this was the best time. I hoped I could talk to him, alone.
"You want some water, or something?"
"Yeah, water," Mark said, looking very tired and worn out.
Aaron was already on his way to the kitchen, to get the water for Mark.
"Tooter," Brian said, "Aaron told me Mark's pulse is real strong, and that means he should be OK."
Aaron had advanced first-aid training, so I trusted his judgement.
"Thanks, Bri." I squeezed my little brother's arm. He didn't seem so little to me, then. "I still can't help worrying, though."
"I know, Tooter." Brian was being so mature, but then, that was basically his way. Brian was a middle brother, and he somehow ended up being the peacemaker of the family.
Aaron handed me the water. I held the glass for Mark, while he drank.
"Thanks," Mark said.
"Henry's here." Aaron said, a little excitedly. Henry was coach Bennett's first name.
The coach looked Mark over real well, and asked him a few questions.
"Well, guys," the coach said, "Mark seems all right--vital signs aren't too bad, and he won't need stitches, but if he doesn't snap back to a more alert consciousness in a few hours, you have to promise me you're taking him to the hospital--no ifs, ands, or butts."
"We promise," Aaron and I said, almost at the same time.
Brian seemed frozen in fear.
"Thanks, coach," I said.
"No problem," coach Bennett said. "I'd forgotten you had a twin, Scott. If I hadn't known better, I'd have sworn he was you."
"He goes to military school," I said, "He got into trouble, when--"
"I remember, Scott. The spray painting on the back wall. I remember at the time, being surprised Mark didn't go to our school. Are you going to call your mom? She should be told about this."
"Yeah, I'll take care of that. Thanks again, coach."
"No problem, Scott. Come on over and watch the team, sometime."
"OK, coach. I will." Coach knew I liked to swim. Aaron did too. We went to as many swim meets as possible, and were interested in the team.
As Aaron led coach out, Brian and I sat on the bedroom floor, staring at Mark from across the room, and listening to his breathing. My head was spinning.
"Scott--how did Mark know to come here?" Brian asked.
"What do you mean, Bri?"
"You know--of all the houses in Highland, what made Mark pick--"
"Oh, shit," I said without thinking.
Aaron came back to the room.
"Hey, guys," Aaron said, "What's up?"
"Aaron," I said, tearing my eyes away from the bed Mark was on, "How did Mark know to come here?" Brian was silent. I looked anxiously at Aaron. "Maybe we should talk to Mark?" I whispered.
Aaron looked questioningly at me, gesturing toward Brian.
"He knows," I said, dryly--meaning that Brian knew about the sexual relationship between me and Aaron.
"He knows?" Aaron said, hugging me openly, now that he knew Brian had been told about us being lovers. Then he turned to Brian, "Hey, what do you know, Bri?"
"That you guys are lovers, and have sex. I like guys, too. And after Scott told me, I think about you guys doin' stuff--"
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My little brother Brian talking this much, and being so revealing to Aaron. Brian blushed with embarrassment--probably thinking he'd said way too much.
"Yeah, and?" Aaron prompted, expecting Brian to go on.
Brian was quiet.
"I'll finish for him," I said. "And then he jacks off. Right Brian?"
Brian said nothing, blushed badly, and gave me a look that could kill. Aaron glanced at me.
"OK, baby," Aaron said to me. Then he turned to Brian. "Brian--don't let him get to you," Aaron said with a grin.
"How did Mark end up here?" I said desperately. "We should talk to him, Aaron."
"Scotty, it might be better just to let Mark rest, for now--let him get his energy back. He'll be OK."
"I think he's sleeping," Brian said, after taking a closer look at Mark.
"Hey, angel boy," Aaron said softly, rubbing my shoulders, "I think we should go to the living room and let Mark sleep."
Aaron was sitting, and I had my chin resting on Aaron's shoulder while he was talking to me. I noticed Brian's eyebrows had gone up when Aaron called me 'angel boy.' I could tell Brian was instantly jealous, and he proved it when he stuck his tongue out at me. Since Aaron couldn't see my face, I stuck my tongue out at Brian in return. That made Brian giggle. Then I realized Aaron was waiting for me to say something.
"OK. I guess we can let him sleep," I said, "but--what if he's hungry?"
"He'll be OK, little dude. He can eat later."
We all went to the living room and plopped on the couch. I put my back against Aaron's chest, and he hugged me. I felt safe and warm. As I stretched my legs out, my boner was obvious, and Brian stared at it.
It was funny--Brian was embarrassed now, trying to be so careful where Aaron was concerned, but now I guess he relaxed a little and started to zone out--not realizing that he was rubbing his finger over his boner.
"Come on, Brian--you, too," Aaron said, motioning Brian to join our hug.
I was a little uncomfortable with this. I was sure Brian would love to hug with us, and I knew Aaron would be cool with it--but there was something about it that bothered me.
"Do you think Mark's in trouble?" Brian asked nervously, his eyes fixed on Aaron as he settled in against Aaron's left shoulder.
I had no clue what to say. "Aaron, what do you think?"
"I don't know, Scotty. He's in trouble with somebody, that's for sure. I hope the guy's not still after him, whoever it is."
"You think it's just one guy, Aaron?"
"Just a guess, baby, but yeah."
"Oh God! Do you think the guy will come looking for Mark?"
"I thought of that, Scotty, but who knows? There's no way to know, until Mark wakes up, and we can talk to him, more. Just calm down, baby, ok?"
At this point, poor Brian was so worried, he looked almost green.
"Yeah, I guess you're right, Aaron," I said. "What should we do now? Should I call my mom, or my dad?"
"Maybe your mom, but, I think it can wait until she gets home from work. No use scaring her now, little dude, or making a problem for her, at work--don't you think?"
"Yeah, I think you're right, Aaron."
"God--your shoulder is so big," Brian said admiringly, finding a comfortable position against Aaron."
"That's not the only thing that's big, Brian," I said, making myself and Brian blush. I was too embarrassed to turn and see if Aaron blushed, too. I had hoped to embarrass Brian into exiting our hug, and going off by himself. I ended up more embarrassed than Brian.
"Scotty--your twin brother Mark--is he--you know--gay?"
Brian and I said 'No,' almost in unison.
"Not unless someone did a brain transplant on him, at the military school," I said, looking at Aaron. Brian smiled.
"OK, baby," Aaron said, being his usual strong self, and trying to get enough information to understand what was going on.
"You guys look so cool, together," Brian said, out of the blue. Brian had one of his warm, admiring smiles.
Aaron and I looked at each other. I hadn't thought of how we looked together until that moment. I guess we did look pretty cool. It took me and Aaron a few seconds to recover from Brian's surprise comment. I could tell it made Aaron uncomfortable to have the focus shifted on him--on us. I think that's why Aaron picked that time to turn on the TV.
I stood up suddenly.
"Oh God! Today's Monday! Mom's HOME! Shit, Brian, are we brain dead, or what?"
Brian stood up, too--and looked at me like I had just told him to walk to Jupiter. It must have been the shock of seeing Mark, all bloody, that made us forget what day it was. Mom often had Mondays off. Besides, she was home when we left to go to Aaron's house. It seemed impossible that both Brian and I could forget that. Aaron spoke up.
"Scotty, I still think you should wait. He needs to sleep, now. If you call your mom, now, she'll want to come over, right?"
"I don't know, for sure, Aaron, I--"
"Guys, be quiet! Listen!!" Brian said, excitedly. His eyes were glued to the TV.
Our local news anchor was making an announcement about our school. I sat back down on the couch with Aaron. Of course, whatever it was, they could have put a loudspeaker on the roof of the library, and announced it that way--our town was almost that small.
"... Lincoln High School is officially closed, until at least Wednesday morning, according to superintendent, Lee Meriweather. In an exclusive interview with KLTV, Meriweather said the vandals apparently cut power lines, and did extensive damage to the electrical substation outside the school complex, forcing the closure. There is no immediate estimate available on the time needed to make the necessary repairs. Preliminary reports indicate there are no signs of a break-in. A spokesman for Highland Power said it was miraculous no one was electrocuted in the process of cutting the dangerous, one-thousand volt feeder-lines."
"I would say, whoever did this insane thing, is lucky to come out of it alive," the power company spokesman said in a live, on-site interview, which showed the school's broken power lines in the background.
I think all of our mouths had dropped open, by this time. Brian spoke.
"Oh GOD! You don't think........ Mark?"
I froze. I couldn't make my voice work. I suddenly felt as if we were harboring a criminal. 'At least they can't get him for breaking and entering,' I thought defensively. God! I was shocked at my own thinking. All of this was starting to seem like a bad movie.
"Mark was supposed to be at the mall," I said, trying to make it impossible, in my mind, that Mark would do anything like this--that my own twin could be so opposite of everything I was, everything I stood for.
"Yeah, supposed," Brian added uncertainly.
I had tears in my eyes, and that didn't go unnoticed, by Aaron.
"OK, guys," Aaron said, "We don't know anything, so let's just be cool. This'll give us more time to sort things out, and help Mark."
"Yeah, he needs our help now," I said, noticing that Brian was still staring, awestruck, at the television. I squeezed Aaron's hand, and hoped against hope, that somehow Brian's addiction to the tube would mean that Aaron and I would get some alone time.
It was as if Aaron read my mind.
"I know, baby. I know."
I didn't dare ask Aaron exactly what it was that he was knowing, just then. I guess I didn't want to deal with it all, or be disappointed.
Concerned about Mark, I picked that moment to stand, and head for the bedroom.
"I'm going to check on Mark."
"OK, Scotty. Don't wake him up, though."
"Yeah, don't, Scott."
I walked quietly into Aaron's bedroom, and saw that Mark had his eyes closed and was breathing softly. I went back to the living room.
"I think he's out of it. He looks OK. He's still sleeping." I felt funny--like a nurse, or something, reporting on my brother's condition.
"That's good, baby. You feeling better now?"
"Yeah, thanks Aaron." I wasn't sure if I felt that much better, but I wanted to be positive for Aaron and Brian.
"Brian, what about you?" Aaron said.
"What?" Brian mumbled, in his typical, 'I wasn't paying attention' tone. Usually that made me mad, but not this time.
I went over to Brian and knelt beside him. "You feeling better, Bri?"
"Yeah, I'm OK," Brian said.
I looked right into Brian's eyes. We stared at each other a while, then we hugged, all of a sudden. We stayed that way, for a few minutes. It was my turn to comfort Brian.
After a little while, Brian slipped out of the hug, let out a sigh, and slumped into a comfortable position. His eyes closed. He would be asleep soon, I knew.
I left him in a chair that faced the other part of the 'L' shaped living room, and made a quick trip to the bathroom. Then I went to rejoin Aaron on the couch. I felt strange all of a sudden, and stood awkwardly next to Aaron, wondering what to do or say.
Aaron broke the discomfort of the moment. He opened his arms and grabbed me, pulling me to him. "If you don't smile, I'll tickle you!"
"No, Aaron, God, NO!" I was on his lap, and I went flat on my back so I could see him--and maybe avoid a bad tickling.
"Yeah, Scotty," Aaron said, "oh, man, you sure look like an angel now--especially in that position."
"Really? How do I look?"
"You would ask that!"
"Yup," I said with a silly grin.
"OK, Scotty, let me think."
"Use your best vocabulary," I said, now knowing that Aaron had a great vocabulary and not just a street vocabulary.
It was funny but sexy to see Aaron blush a little--like he had told only me the secret of his good grades, and now he was having trouble getting used to the idea that I knew. I liked Aaron blushing at that, but it got me to thinking.
I thought I was so modern, but basically I was holding to an old standard--that it was cute for a guy to be embarrassed at his scholastic knowledge. It was kind of cute, but for me to like it wasn't modern at all.
At this point I was still on my back, but my head found a very comfortable position with the curve of my neck resting on Aaron's right leg, while the rest of me went over his left leg and beyond. I closed my eyes.
Aaron soon put his hand on my little bulge.
"Mmm," I said, not wanting to do anything that would make him stop.
"Mm, is right. "
"Hey, you're supposed to tell me how I look, Aaron. Remember?"
"Yeah. OK. You look really cute, very angelic, and um . . . "
"That's all you can think of, Aaron? I'm hurt. "
"No, no! There's lots more!" Aaron said apologetically.
I loved how Aaron's face dropped when I'd told him I felt hurt. His reaction made me feel so good.
"Really, baby, you look sexy--very sexy, tired--"
"Aaron! That's against the rules! You're only supposed to say the good things."
"Oh. I didn't know we were doing rules."
"Yup, we are when I say so." I could feel Aaron's boner poking up at me with all its strength.
"Oh, I see. OK, Scotty." Aaron didn't look like he understood at all. "You look refreshed, animated--"
"Oh--animated--I like that!"
"You look relaxed, submissive . . . "
"Yeah," Aaron said, as he moved me just enough to open his zipper and pull out his erection. He pushed it forward and I felt it slap on my ribs. "Put your hands behind your head," he said with a breathy voice.
Aaron gave me that self-confident look, as he reached over to pull my shorts down enough to expose my dick, and slowly stroked it.
I was throbbing. The tension of the day was almost too much for me, and I think that somehow powered my dick, because I knew I could cum in a second.
"Aaron, I'm close right now."
"It's OK, Scotty," Aaron said, rubbing my chest," Be close. Let it shoot."
Like magic, Aaron got out from under me and was on his knees beside the couch. He gave me this beautiful smile, and I just melted.
"Mmm," I said, and as I closed my eyes, Aaron's warm lips surrounded Scotty junior.
"Mmm," Aaron said, with his mouth full. He pulled off, kissed me, and then knelt up straight. I pretended to see something unusual on his body.
"Aaron, oh, my God! Let me see that." As my head got closer to him, I engulfed his beautiful, hard penis, and took him into my mouth.
"Oh!" he said, falling forward, and leaning with his hands against the back of the couch.
I knew I had him, now! It was so cool to make him feel this good and have such control over him.
I don't know how he did it, but he shifted around and had us in a 69 position before I knew it. There was magic here, in our sex--not as much as when we make love in our bed, but warmth was here.
"Oh, God, Scotty."
"Aaron, I'm cumming!" I shot very hard, filling Aaron's mouth.
While my head swirled with blues and violets, Aaron moaned appreciatively.
"Yeah, Scott, yeah! " Aaron said, with a not quite empty mouth. I was shocked that he took his mouth off me, but then he slipped me back in.
"Oh, God, Aaron! Oh! Oh!"
It was exciting to hear Aaron laboring to breathe, trying to handle all my cum, swallow, not spill any, and still take breaths. His hands rubbed me lovingly, and I felt surrounded by Aaron.
He stopped again, in the middle of my shooting, and tried to talk.
"Oh, yeah--Scotty, baby . . . " Aaron said, and then realized I hadn't finished and slid his mouth down all the way.
The blue and violet turned white as I propelled my boyish juices into him. His mouth was a symbol of him swallowing me whole--making me a part of him by taking me inside his body. Now, my dick turned rock hard, and I found my climax lasting longer, as I shot more into his loving mouth.
I was totally out of breath, but finally came down from my high.
My lips found his hot erection again. It was thicker, longer, harder than before. I had turned him on by being turned on and cumming for him. Me. Little Scotty. And now Aaron was throbbing in my mouth, struggling to control his climax.
I slashed my tongue several times across his wide tip.
"Oh! Geezus! Scotty! God!"
Aaron's hands made love to my back and my butt as I sucked him. I used the tip of my tongue to tease the big nerve on the head of his dick.
"Oh, GOD, Scotty!"
"I plunged down on him with all I had."
Aaron came. His body tensed quickly, then convulsed with his powerful muscle contractions--each one causing a strong, wild spurt, filling my mouth. Feeling him do that with my hands all over him, was like riding a wild roller-coaster. I swallowed so many times, I lost track.
"Oh, yeah, Scotty!"
Aaron had started to work me up again, when we heard a noise. I turned my head.
"Oh! Brian!" Brian had woken up.
Aaron stopped. "It's OK, baby."
Brian stood. I totally could not believe my brother had his pants pulled down and his penis out--sticking right toward us, hard as could be. "God! You guys look so hot!"
I was the deepest red I could get on my face. "Brian, no!"
"Leave him alone," Aaron said.
"No, Aaron. I don't want--"
"He's your brother. You think I could not love him?"
"I'd want him to see us in the real thing--see it loving and true--and not some porn flick."
I knew Aaron didn't mean he loved Brian the way he loved me. Still, I was so shocked, I couldn't think, and my ears started to ring. "But, Aaron!"
Aaron rubbed me, shushed me, and just soothed me the best he could. He knew how to cast a spell to make me relax and do what he wanted.
"It's OK, Brian," Aaron said assuringly, blowing a kiss to Brian, "Get as close as you want, but don't touch. It's ok to jerk off."
"No, not close," I said. "Brian--just do it where you are."
"I'm sorry, Scotty," Aaron whispered to me, "I didn't know it would bother you."
Brian knelt and blew his load as Aaron slid his lips on me again.
Even though Brian was across the room, I still felt weird, and I shook my head. Aaron stopped.
"OK, Brian," Aaron said, "why don't you go to the dining room for a while, and let me and Scotty settle in."
Brian was too excited and embarrassed to say much, just then. I put my shorts back on and went over to him, hugging him to let him know it was OK, even though it really wasn't OK. I figured since the situation was so unusual, this had no chance of coming up again.
"Scotty--you're not mad at me, are you?" Brian asked, looking scared.
"No, Brian. It's cool." I didn't want Brian upset, so I didn't tell him my doubts. "Were you OK with everything you saw?"
"OK, Brian, because, well--Aaron and I haven't been lovers that long, and--"
Then Aaron saved the day. "Hey. You guys getting hungry?"
Actually, I was starving. I think Brian was too, judging by the way he sat up and took notice.
"Yeah, I think we are, Aaron," I said, speaking for my brother, as well.
"OK! We have, cold cuts, cold cuts, and cold cuts. Oh yeah, bread, too."
Aaron successfully broke the tension.
"I'll take whichever is the freshest," I said, playfully.
"What kind of bread do you have?" Brian asked. Brian was the fussy eater of the family, and usually ate only one type of wheat bread. Normally, I would have said something to my brother, not to be too fussy at someone else's house, but I didn't have the energy or whatever. Besides, I knew Aaron could handle it.
"There's French bread, Italian bread, Irish bread, Greek bread. We're all out of those, today. We just have whole wheat and white."
Even Brian was laughing at Aaron's good-natured humor.
We talked busily as we ate--about the swim team, football, track, and Mark's plight. Brian and I filled Aaron in on Mark.
"It really threw me, little dude. You have a twin brother and never told me about him--nothing! If anybody told me you had a twin, I would've said, 'no way!'"
"I'm sorry, Aaron. Mark's been trouble for so long, it's automatic to try to hide him. I'll never understand how he thinks. But, now, I don't know--I guess I feel that I can't just ignore him anymore. There's got to be something we can do. He goes to that stupid military school, and I think he just learns worse things from the other kids. It's so far away, too, it's about 200 miles from here."
"Yeah, I know what you mean Scotty. We can't help him if he's out of town all the time. What can we do from here?"
"I don't know. I just know that while he's here, I'm going to tell him I love him no matter what. I can't shut him out, anymore--it's not right. And I do love him."
"Do you mean that, Scott?"
We all jumped, hearing the voice that came from the far corner of the room. It was Mark!
"Mark! How are you?" Brian said.
We all froze. There he was, standing right in front of us, practically.
"Hey, bud!" Aaron almost shouted.
I got up and ran to my twin. My arms wrapped around him, and I hugged.
"Mark. YES I meant it!!"
"Well, Scott," Mark said softly, "That means a lot to me now, because I'm changing. This new kid I met, at school, he reminds me of you. I mean, but um--I gave up a lot of my friends to hang with him. He's a good kid. I don't do any drugs, now, and--I don't know, I just feel different."
"I told you he was different, Scott." Brian said.
Aaron said something to Brian, and then spoke to me and Mark.
"Hey, why don't you two guys go to my room for a while, and talk."
I headed for Aaron's room, and I could hear Mark, right behind me. Now I realized that Aaron had told Brian to let just the two of us go, so we could be alone.
As Mark and I entered the bedroom, I closed the door behind us. Mark turned to look at me.
"Scott--you and Aaron, you guys are real tight."
I couldn't believe that telling someone Aaron was my lover would fall off my lips with so little emotion, but I guess I had other things on my mind right then, especially Mark. Our whole childhood flashed in my head, and I could see the times we avoided each other because we were so different acting--which was not the usual thing identical twins did.
Then I remembered how much worse things were when we got a little bigger, and Mark was getting into more and more trouble. That was when Brian and I talked about Mark behind his back, and I started teasing him. The more time went by, the more I saw how wrong that was. But now, it was unbearable.
"Mark, I'm sorry," I said, as we both sat down on the bed, "I'm sorry for all the hard times you went through, and the things me and Brian did, the teasing and--"
Marks eyes were on mine so intently, I could feel them burning through me. It was like we were seeing each other--really seeing each other--for the first time.
We both started to cry. It was as if we were crying away all the pain and troubles of Mark's life, and all the times that I just tried to shut him out, and not think of him--I felt guilty about that. We ended up leaning on each other's shoulders, sobbing, until it seemed like we sat there forever.
"Oh God, Scott!"-- Mark said, "Scott, I wanted to be like you, I really did, but it never worked--I just couldn't, I don't know Scott. I only made things wor--"
"It's OK, Mark. It's OK."
I didn't know what else to say. This was all so weird. It was a total shock. Mark never talked like this. I would swear to anyone, this could never happen, but here it was, happening. I could see it and feel it, right here in front of me.
"I wanna be part of the family before it's too late, Scott." And then, Mark put his head down like he was so ashamed.
That made me cry harder. It was all I could do to hang on to my brother, my only true double. Then I realized that he'd said something really important. I pulled myself together.
"Mark, you are part of the family. What you're saying now proves that. The way you are--this new you is just fantastic. It's so way cool, I can't tell you."
"Yeah, I think so too, Scott."
"Mark, tell me, how did you get hurt? What happened?"
I took a deep breath, expecting the worst, in spite of what Mark had just told me. I couldn't get my mind out of the old way of thinking about him.
"I was drunk, in the back of the mall parking lot, by the big trees. I thought I'd climb the fence and cut through McGurkle's machine shop. I slipped on the barbed wire when I was at the top. I got cut up, then I fell hard, on those sharp stones, just inside their property. One of McGurkle's guys came out and started giving me shit, and we got into it. I won the fight, but he got in some good punches before I could get loose."
"Oh Mark! You're lucky you didn't get cut a lot worse," I said--my heart pounding for him and his violent experience. But I was glad he was basically in one piece. "And that's it?"
"Yeah, that's it, bro."
"Do you think he's still after you?"
"Naw. He was just tryin' to guard the place. He's forgotten about it by now. Fight's over, Scott," Mark said, with that look that told me he knew I had no clue about these things.
Now I felt guilty that I had thought Mark cut the power lines at the school. I was totally ashamed of myself, and I could never tell Mark what I had been thinking. I knew that would hurt him, now that he was trying to make a fresh start.
"I can tell, you really are trying to do good, Mark." I felt--I believed--my brother was sincere.
"Oh God, Mark--did you tell mom any of this?"
"Not really, I didn't get a chance to."
I put a finger up to one of the cuts on Mark's face.
"Sorry, Mark. I was just thinking, we should go home and tell mom all this, and... well, you can't go home looking this ugly, so I was thinking you could take a shower here, and then we could go talk to mom."
We both laughed when I said he looked ugly.
"Ugly? Hey, I'm your twin, remember?"
"Um, well, yeah, but you got to wash off that blood, first. Then you can be my twin."
"I see. That's how it is huh? OK. Shower it is." We both smiled.
"Cool, Mark. I'll grab you a towel."
This good-natured stuff from Mark felt so good--like he was a whole new person. I was going to need time to get used to this.
While Mark was in the shower, I explained what was happening with him. Brian and Aaron were happy to hear the good news. I was glad neither of them had any doubts. At least, they didn't seem to.
The three of us talked for a while, enjoying the atmosphere of relief.
"Scott?" Mark's muffled voice came through the closed bathroom door. "Did you grab that towel?"
I had forgotten to get a towel for Mark in all the excitement. I grabbed one, real quick and went to the bathroom.
My heart stopped at the stunning sight of my identical twin brother, totally naked, standing in the bathtub waiting for me.
"Oh, God, Mark!" I was so taken back, I'd blurted that out before thinking. Seeing Mark, naked, amounted to seeing myself naked in a mirror, only I knew it wasn't me.
"Hey--relax, Scott," Mark said softly, obviously knowing what I was feeling. "I'm not gay, but, I'm cool with it. One of my best friends is gay. I've had blow jobs from guys. It's cool that guys think other guys look hot. If I was gay, I'd have sex with you--I mean, if you--"
"You look really hot, Mark." I was in shock that Mark had said he'd have sex with me if he were gay. For whatever reason, I suddenly felt very safe with Mark. Then, his words became a challenge to me. The competitor in me started to stir.
"So do you, Scott."
"It's not fair--I'm naked, and you have clothes on," Mark said, almost pleading.
There was something about my twin brother's eyes that held me in a spell. That did it, for me. I knew I wasn't going to have sex, but there was a sexual attraction, and I started undressing for Mark.
"So, uh--things happened at military school to soften--"
"Yeah, Scott--I've had a few attitude changes."
"Wow. Mark--if...um...well--Are you bi?"
"Yeah, I'm bi, I guess. I been thinkin' about guys a lot, lately. You look great, Scott--nice abs."
It was weird that Mark said I had nice abs, because that's how things started with me and Aaron, in the showers at school. I thought Mark's abs looked about the same as mine, but I didn't say anything. I gulped and took off my last piece of clothing--my briefs. I had to thank my brother for the compliment.
"Thanks, Mark. I wish I--I mean, you--damn! It's just that I'm worried, OK?
"Damn, Scott, you look great, naked! Don't worry, bro, Brian and Aaron are safe. Besides, I'm real good at jacking off. I'm used to doing a lot of that."
"Yeah. Me, too," I said. "I used to dream about us jacking off, together." It was something we'd never done. We stood there a while.
The way we were staring at each other, it was like we were catching up on old times, without saying any words. And even after all this time, I wasn't used to getting a thrill when I looked right at Mark, and saw myself. It was sexual in a way that I just wasn't used to.
We met in the middle of the bathroom and hugged. I cried on my twin brother's naked chest, while he grabbed the towel and tried to dry himself. Finally, he lifted my head and looked me in the eye.
I expected Mark's eyes to be angry, sympathetic, indifferent, whatever--but there was fire and love in them, and he kissed me.
I was afraid, but I melted instantly. There was passion--it flowed in the heat of our lips, one to the other. But something else flowed, and whatever that was, it told me for sure that Mark had changed--that he had compassion, respect, love. I felt his love for me--a sincere and strong love. I would've cried, but the rush of emotion took over. I felt Mark's boner press into mine. I pulled back so I could look at it.
"You're huge! How can that be? We're supposed to be identical."
Mark blushed, I think for the first time ever.
"You like it, Tooter?" Mark said with a voice that gave me a flood of feelings from our childhood. He was staring at his hardon, and so was I.
I think we were eight, the last time we compared dicks.
"Yeah, I like it. It's really hot looking. But why is it so big?" I noticed Mark blush more deeply.
"I use a pump, Scott," Mark said as if he were ashamed of it. "They work, but you gotta keep usin' 'em."
I think we both had the same idea--and we both didn't want that to happen, so we grabbed each other and just hugged.
Somehow, I felt free to wrap my hand around Mark's hardon. He was nervous--I felt him shaking. I was glad when his hand, in return, gently held my boner.
"Why are you making me hot?" I said, mostly to myself.
"I don't know, man, but you're doin the same to me! I'm gonna need to jack off after this. Anyway, we shouldn't--"
"We wont," I said, and then I cried.
Aaron came to the bathroom door. "You guys OK?" he asked softly.
I was too busy crying, to answer. Mark hesitated, then said, "Um, well--it's ok."
By then, Aaron heard me crying. "Sorry guys! You guys just go ahead."
I could tell Aaron wanted us to be alone, and that he felt sorry he'd interrupted. I knew Aaron approved of brother-to-brother sex, and wondered if he thought Mark and I would do that.
I had special but different relationships with one man, Aaron, and one brother, Brian. If I started something with Mark, I could be getting myself in, deep. Then Brian wouldn't be so special, anymore--I wouldn't let that happen. Besides, Aaron might have rules about brother-sex that I had no clue about, and I couldn't risk doing anything that might hurt Aaron.
"Oh, God," I managed to blurt out chokingly, through my tears.
"He's sweet, Scott," Mark said, referring to Aaron, "and we're both lucky you found him."
"Yeah!" Mark said, smiling, "You'll need a good guy like him, to put up with me."
Feeling Mark's spirits lighten, I smiled and hugged him tighter. "Mark, I love you."
"I love you too, Scott."
"I never thought I'd hear you say that, Mark." As soon as I said it, I was sorry. It was too cutting, too powerful and hurtful a thing to say.
"God, Scotty, God! I'm sorry! I'm sorry." Mark went to his knees, sobbing. All the strength had gone out of him.
"It's OK, Mark."
It was strange. Mark's mouth was on my hip, so close to my dick, but it wasn't so much sexual as it was a safe kind of love--a safe kind of contact. We could touch each other anywhere, and it was OK. In that moment, we were twin brothers--catching up on old times, letting out all the old sins and frustrations of the past--suddenly loving each other, realizing what we had missed.
Mark heaved and sobbed for a long time. I rubbed his head and kept telling him he was fine. All this body contact--we both had precum.
"Are you ok, now, Mark?" I said, helping him up.
"Yeah, much better, thanks to you."
"Sounds so different to hear you say things like that."
I grabbed a Kleenex to wipe off my precum, before getting dressed.
"Let me wipe it," Mark said excitedly."
"OK, let me wipe yours."
We sounded like 10-year-olds. It felt really cool to be doing this, but I blushed, holding Mark's penis, and wiping precum from the tip of it.
Mark blushed, too, but performed his end of the task. I could tell, we both still felt safe, but there was an uncomfortable silence.
"Well, anyway, you look a lot better after your shower, Mark."
"Yeah--I clean up nice, don't I?"
"Come on, we better get dressed."
"Mark, did you bring that pump with you?"
Postscript: Was it good? Please tell me. To be continued? Even one favorable comment will help make sure that more will be written. Please write to:
[See? Email address above is a different color to make it stand out, in the hopes that
Entire Web Page, including design, proportions, shading, "HTML Code" and sayings, Copyright © 2000-2003 Jordan West. All rights reserved.
A LONG OVERDUE NOTE FROM JORDAN TO ALL
plus questions and answers about the story.
It feels so good to be back! Are you happy to see me back? I really hope so. I remember lots of wonderful emails all the readers sent in three years ago when I was writing a lot. And the great friends I made. I'm sorry I lost track of you, but it couldn't be helped. I wonder if any of you same guys are still out there and reading about Scotty and Aaron again. I hope so! I'll be so happy to get in touch with each one of you again!
I just want to shout, "This is SO COOL!" And I hope all of you wonderful, fantastic, sexy, kissable readers out there, old and new, guys (a few girls, too), and of ALL ages, write to me. I will answer. I enjoyed each and every email! It might seem strange, but I enjoyed the honest criticism, too.
EMAIL AND READER STUFF
The only exceptions to my answering you: I won't answer abusive or grossly lewd emails, or emails that insist on knowing information about me and Aaron listed under "TABOO SUBJECTS," below. That doesn't mean you can't ask a lot of other so-called personal questions if you're sincerely interested, or use a four letter word if it fits, or talk about sex, or describe some sexual happenings to me--you can! Just please do it in a nice way, as best you're able to. And please check the list of taboo subjects, before you write. : - )
There were even a few guys in their 70s and 80s that emailed with me, back and forth. Wow! They were good writers, too! They were such fun, (they could be sexy, too!), and a lot of them wrote after every chapter--and I loved that. I also loved to hear how people were enjoying the story and getting their share of pleasure from it. They wrote nice, long emails, and I learned a lot from them; plus sometimes they got philosophical--and I love that, too, and tried to answer their philosophy, the best I could. And sometimes they were a real hoot! I'm saying I won't skip answering you, no matter what.
Don't get me wrong, I loved all the young, studly guys who wrote to me, and told me the parts of the story that they really liked, and told me their, um, special reactions to my story--and I answered all. I have to say, a lot of my older readers were good at that, too.
I read some articles lately about 24 to 30-something guys feeling like the forgotten age-group. Especially the mid to late twenties guys, according to the articles. Guys in that age group are hot! Plus, they say they're the most productive people, and to me that's very important. I think one of the articles was in XY. I felt so bad after reading about that. No one should be left out or forgotten, especially you guys, so I promise I'll give your emails special attention. Just tell me if you're in that age group.
GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE?
I hope you ALL give me another chance to be in touch with you, by writing to me. I'm sorry I left you all hanging. I promise I won't do that again.
THE REAL STORY OF THE STORY
I've told a few of you this, but just to let everyone know--the story is based on me and my lover. The character, Scott, represents me. The love and tenderness is true, and a lot of the things in the story really happened. But not every event that I write in the story is a real-life happening. I can still say that we've never been nasty to each other. Sometimes, it takes a lot to be kind and calm under stress, and if you really want to know how we do it, I'll tell you privately.
We are lovers, and we've lived in a small rented house just the two of us for almost four years. We work to keep the sweetness and sparks alive, and we still crave each other.
READERS AND WRITING
I love you all for reading. I hope you find "I Only Wanted Aaron" as exciting and fun to read as it was before. It's my link to you, and I'm really excited getting back to writing it again, and hearing from you!
If you're a new reader, I hope you like the story enough to write me about it, and tell me which parts you liked best--or anything else you want to talk about.
CHANGES TO THE STORY
Guess what? If between the two of us (you and me), we decide a part of the story should be changed, because it's just not right, I can do that. They will let me post corrected or re-written chapters--as long as I don't go crazy with that. This is especially important in case I ruin (or ruined) the story by unknowingly making a big "boo-boo." I trust you to be honest and tell me where I might have really messed up, and I think I'm open to suggestion and criticism.
If I get a lot of conflicting opinions on one subject, I'll give it a lot of thought before taking any action, but we should be able to make the story better, you and me, as we go along.
Also, if you have any technical problems viewing the story--I need to know that, so I can try to correct my HTML. If you do have a problem with the appearance of the story (or anything else), please give full details about what trouble you're having, or what you think you'd like me to do about it. Thanks!
If you're wondering why I don't use the actual DASH, (em dash), it's because some people are still using systems where that character does not work, and they get question marks for each dash. I think the question mark means that the system or browser does not understand that character. Anyway, I stopped using the dash, and substituted two hyphens. I would hate to think that someone's reading of the story was spoiled by question marks all over the place! I apologize for past chapters.
There is a way for you to correct the question mark problem (or other problems) in your own copies of the past chapters, if you kept them. Ask me about it, and I'll send you the explanation. Be SURE to tell me whether you keep regular text/word-processing files, or HTML. (With HTML you see my colors and formatting, bold, italic, etc., and the chapter looks like a web page. Also, the file name of the HTML chapter will end in .HTM or .HTML).
MORE ON EMAIL AND STUFF ABOUT YOU
I'm not ready yet to talk about why I was gone, so please be patient and gentle with me. Just know that now I have an extra, extra special need for your email. And I WILL ANSWER YOU. (Exceptions, see above.)
Those of you who emailed with me in the past know I am friendly, and that we had fun emailing back and forth, and shared a lot of different things.
I hope some of you will tell me what's good and what's bad about my writing. After all this time away from it, I'm trying to find my old groove.
The purpose of the psychiatrist's interview with Scott at the beginning of Chapter 11 was for me, as a writer, to undo a lot of things that I wrote in chapter 10, but especially to redefine the REAL relationship between Scott and Brian. In reality, although Brian (Scott's younger brother), did teach Scott how to jack off, (way back when), Scott and Brian haven't messed around as much as Chapter 10 may have you thinking. I really should get busy someday and write a new Chapter 10 and 11 so the story doesn't have that glitch in it. Anyway, now that Scott has Aaron--well, you'll see what happens.
So to be clear about Chapter 11: Scotty really does have Aaron, now, and they really are lovers. Aaron was never a fantasy--he was always a real-live guy, and all the things you read about in the previous chapters about Scott and Aaron were actual happenings in the story. Brian is real, too, and so are all the other characters.
I just don't want you all thinking that I am going to pull a fast one on you, and someday suddenly say that one of the characters doesn't really exist. I wouldn't do that. I'm not trying to write 'weirdness' in any way--and I say that, even though, God knows, 'weird' means different things to different people--so, I hope you know what I mean. I really do, because I've re-worded this paragraph so many times, I'm not sure what I mean, anymore. :-)
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS--MORE STORY STUFF
Q: So, the first 9 chapters were really 9 chapters, and not just a conversation Scott was having with his shrink?
A: Absolutely correct.
Q: What about Chapter 10--is that all fantasy?
A: No. Scott exaggerated the amount of intimacy between him and his brother Brian. Exactly how much was real and how much was fantasy--you'll have to wait and see.
Q: I was disappointed when it came out that Scott messed with Brian. I thought the whole point of the story was that Scott wants Aaron--ONLY. Is the premise of the story spoiled, now? Doesn't Scott and Brian's sexual escapades mean--now that we know Scott wants Brian, too--that Scott really doesn't "only" want Aaron?
A: I have to say thanks for being open-minded enough to ask. I had a lot of help coming up with the wording of this answer, and I think it's the right answer in this case. I have to start by saying that this is not an incest story, although there will be occasional glimpses into that subject, but only brother-to-brother.
There are two answers. The first answer is NO, from the point of view of Scotty, Brian, and Aaron. The sex I had with my brother is a special, separate thing. The brotherly sexual (and non-sexual) bond is nothing like the bond I have for my lover. The brotherly intimacy has a totally different emotional meaning for me and Brian. It represents, to us, our unique biological similarity--a thing that sets us apart from everyone else in the whole world. I like to think of it as all our Teddy-bears, put in a collective pile--and we 'hug' this pile from time to time.
Yes, I have an identical twin, Mark, who resembles me exactly--more than a biological similarity--a unique biological duplication. But, it's Brian and I that have had sexual contact.
(I also have a youngest brother, younger than Brian, and I don't mean to leave him out of this, but he is too young for any sex talk.)
Our brotherly sexuality is also our link to the past, to all the things we learned or did together--all our common experiences, growing up. It also can have other symbolic meanings, but--in this case--not that of lovers heading out into the world, (although I understand that does happen with some brothers).
Scott is not alone in having brotherly sex--Aaron messed around with his own brother, who was older, (he told Scott that), so he's not only cool with Scotty's revelation about Brian, Aaron is relieved about it, because it makes him and Scott two peas in the same pod for having brotherly sex. So there is no pressure on Aaron to be ashamed, repent of, explain, or undergo painful, self-inflicted wounds to compensate for his so-called sin against society. Aaron understands that the bond is totally different, and that the brotherly love could never interfere with his lover relationship with Scott.
To the absolute purist, who feels bad, or betrayed by me, that Scott has had sex with someone besides Aaron, the answer is YES. (Maybe we can do something about that? Let me know.)
Some people are saying this: Society's worry over incest has to do with children coming out of that--children that might be insane or defective in some other way, which would be a burden on society. But, if it's all and only guys messing around--especially brothers--there is no real reason for society to care if they have sex or not, because there's no chance for pregnancy with a one-gender event. (OK, OK, the same is true for an all-girl affair.)
I guess because a lot of guys grew up competing with their brothers, (maybe fighting with them), when they hear about brothers having sex, they say, "Ewwwwwww!"
1. Aaron's thoughts are in italics.
2. I really don't know the right way to do paragraph indenting in HTML, so for now I'm leaving off the indenting, to keep the number of bytes down. If you know the right way to indent, or A way to do it (without adding a string of 'non-break spaces' which is the method I used to indent in past HTML chapters), please tell me!
3. I changed a few other things. Please tell me what you think.
All the best to all of you--and an improvement each day,
Oh, yeah--and please write! : - )
MORE ON EMAILS
If you write a short email, I'll try to keep my reply short. If you write a long email, I will respond in kind.
TABOO SUBJECTS (from past experience with email):
Those are things that either invade our identity, or we just don't do/talk about.
ALL ELSE IS OK
You're welcome to ask about anything else, even other private stuff: The story, of course; most embarrassing moment; what we've done in bed, or anything else about sex; other personal things; personal philosophy; or any other topic that you like.
Normally, I will answer your email.
If you don't want a reply, please say, "Do not reply," somewhere in your email.
TABOO SUBJECTS (from past experience with email):
Those are things that either invade our identity, or we just don't do/talk about.
ALL ELSE IS OK
You're welcome to ask about anything else, even other private stuff: The story, of course; most embarrassing moment; what we've done in bed, or anything else about sex; other personal things; personal philosophy; or any other topic that you like.
Normally, I will answer your email.
If you don't want a reply, please say, "Do not reply," somewhere in your email.