Date: Tue, 1 May 2007 15:44:46 -0700 (PDT) From: Dan R Subject: Me & Justin 8 The summer went on and me and Jason saw each other a lot. As time went on, I kindoff discovered that I really liked him as a friend, but not really as a long term thing. We were really good friends and we had a lot of sex and stuff, but I knew he was going to be going to away to college the following year. But soon the year was done and summer was upon me. I had a lot of things to think about this summer. Jason was leaving, but it really didn't seem to mind me that much. I really liked him, but I wasn't in love with him. Me and Justin saw each other through out the summer and had our fun. I also kept my self occupied by spending time with my best friends in the neighborhood. Dan, who lived down the block was kindoff tall with dark hair. His parents were super cool to me and good friends with my parents. We had been good friends for a long time. Jeff, who lived a couple blocks away on a cul de sac was my best friend. He was kindoff short for his age, but we had been best friends since we were toddlers. He was always the funniest of the group. We played hockey together since we could remember. And then there was Ryan. He lived on the next block across from me, but his house was the shortest to get to. He had a pool, so we would always go there during the summer. He was a good guy and totally hot, but, totally straight. Which was cool. He was almost 6 feet tall, thin with red hair. Us four never really did anything sexual together. We compared our dicks when we were 12 I think, but that was about it. At the time, I was attracted to them, but I didn't want to try and ruin our friendship by trying something that wasn't accepted. So I didn't try. Dan played football and soccer. Ryan, Jeff and I played hockey. Our parents always put us in a hockey camp in northern MN during the summer for a week. I think that was their big vacation for the year. Getting rid of us for a month. I find it kindoff cool to this day that all of the parents were good friends in the neighborhood. I don't see that anymore. I remember one hockey game when I was younger, Jeff and I were forwards and Ryan was a defenseman, and Jeff scored a goal that me and Ryan assisted on and we all looked up at our dads and they were passing around a flask of booze not even watching what was going on. I still find that pretty funny. But unlike a lot of kids on the team, at least my folks came to the games instead of just dropping me off, which is what a lot of my teammates parents did. After hockey camp in July, we all came back exhausted. I looked forward to just relaxing the rest of the summer, but my parents had different ideas. I had to work. My parents were big on no allowances, that if I wanted money, then I had to work for it. I didn't have too many work skills that I knew of, but I caddied at the local golf course, mowed lawns and stuff. I also got a job at the local gas station which entailed cleaning up the lot and stocking the shelves and cooler three days a week. I liked it because I was inside most of the time. I was making good money, saving up to a car that I might someday have and just bascially being happy until one crappy day. I had the day off, it was raining, so I couldn't caddie or mow lawns, and I didn't have to work at the gas station. I called up Justin to see what he was up to, and he said nothing, cmon over. So I did. We both knew what that meant. Happily, I rode my bike over to his house. We went to his bedroom and we got naked and we started going at it. I was a little surprised that he had `grown' quite a bit over the past year. He also had a nice bush of pubes. I grew a little too, but not like him. We kindoff had a routine by this point. We would blow each other for awhile, grind each other for a while, then I would blow him until he got off, and then I would do him, or visa versa. We always just figured it out. This day was different. I don't remember where we were in the whole process, but we were both hard at it when we heard the front door open. We were like HOLY SHIT. All I wore that day was a pair of grey sweat shorts that were cut off. I couldn't find them. All I could say is HOLY SHIT. Justin was running around and found some pants to wear. I was like, cmon, but he had clothes all over his room. I kept searching for my shorts and I finally found them under the bed. I somehow managed to get them on before his bedroom door opened. His asshole neighbor who was going to be a senior this upcoming year walked into his room. There was no doubt in my mind that he knew what we were doing. No doubt for sure. I was laying face down on the bed because I still had a hard on and I couldn't get up for sure at that point, or he would know what we were up to. Finally after a few minutes of small talk, on my stomach, I finally got rid of my hard on and we all went out to the front step to talk. We talked about nothing. I hated the position I was in. This guy was a total jerk. He was an ugly person with a terrible hairstyle. Just a dork. I never liked him, and hate him to this day, which is kindoff stupid. In any case, Justin basically didn't say anything about it. I was really worried about the whole thing. Especially with school starting soon and hockey starting too. What if Tony said something to people that I knew. I didn't want to have to deal with this crap. I could handle myself, but I was happy doing what I did in private. Yeah, well, Tony didn't keep his mouth shut. By the end of the summer, everybody that I knew got rumors of me and Justin "doing things". That of course, carried into the start of the new school year. When I was working at the gas station, friends from school were really short with me. My best friends from the neighborhood were all acting differently towards me. Especially at school. I wasn't a genius, but I wasn't dumb either. Obviously this whole thing had gotten around to everybody at school. One day, I confronted Justin at his locker. "Justin, WTF... Has everybody been acting weird to you after Tony came to your house that one day?", he said, not really, but I don't think we should hang out together anymore. Everybody thinks your gay. I said, "yeah, maybe I am, but, ummm, you were there for it too", he went on to tell me that he wasn't gay, even though we had been together for months and to stay away from him. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Why is this guy getting a free pass from everybody, and I am getting all this BS thrown at me. I just looked at him and said, "ya know Justin, you're an asshole. I know we don't have a big time couple relationship, but for you to turn your back on me right now, that sucks. But oh well. Do what you want." I really didn't care. I had my real friends and stuff, so I didn't really care what he thought. Well, maybe I should have tried to fit in better, because that year my life became total hell. The start of it was on the bus ride home after about a month of school. My friend Dan had stopped talking to me several weeks before this. I knew there was some tension because of all of the rumors, but we maintained a decent friendship. Saying hi to eachother in the halls and such. But one day, he and some guy I didn't know were all getting off at the bus stop. Dan and the other guy, who I learned had just moved into the neighborhood, his name was Sean, were walking ahead of me. We were walking down the trail to our neighborhood and they both stopped about 25 feet ahead of me. They were waiting for me. Dan pulled out a can of carburator cleaner and sprayed it in my face, then him and Sean proceeded to beat the living shit out of me. I could have handled either one of these two guys on my own without being sprayed in the face, but two on one, being blinded, well, I guess I didn't have a chance. I couldn't believe that Dan was doing this to me. We had been friends for so long. I couldn't believe it. They just kept hitting me and kicking. I knew I was going to be a bloody mess. When they finally stopped and left, I didn't say anything. I lay in the trail just bleeding and hurting not knowing what to think, not knowing what I would tell my parents or my brother or anybody. At about 5pm, I finally got up from where I was and basically crawled home. It was a Friday evening. When I got home, the house was empty, THANK GOD. I went upstairs and saw a note from Mom saying they were up at the cabin and use the money for food and stuff. Of course, there was no money, my brother got it before me. I went to the upstairs bathroom and started cleaning off all the blood and dirt and everything. I had a gash on my forehead and chin. My lips were bleeding and I thought my nose was broken. Plus my ribs were hurting big time. I was standing in the bathroom when my brother came in and said, "Jesus, What the hell?", I told him I got in a fight and I got the shit kicked out of me. He asked me who and I told him Dan and some other guy. He knew me. He knew I was tough and I wouldn't loose a fight unless it was an ambush or something like that. I looked at him, and for the first time in my life, I saw him as my big brother for the first time in my life. He actually looked pissed off. He asked me if this was related to what Tony had been saying around school, and that he had heard about it, and I told him I didn't know, but I figured as much. I really don't think he knew what to do at that moment. He never had been that much of a big brother to me in the past, and to be honest, I was never that much of a friend to him either. I somehow, at that moment, realized that he had been living in my shadow. I told him I just wanted to go lay down and rest, and he looked really pissed. He asked me this question, "Is what Tony is saying true?", I said of all the questions he could ask me, why would he ask me that one. He said "I want to know". I asked him back, why, so if I say yes, so you can beat me up too? He said no, because you are my little brother and I want to know the truth. I said, it is true. Everything he said is true. And then I broke down and cried. I told him everything about me. He never knew any of it. But, he didn't seem to care. He just seemed mad that somebody would do this to his little brother on his watch. I asked him to not do anything. I could handle things on my own. I went downstairs and layed down and fell asleep. I woke up at about 11pm. When I woke up, I saw Jeff sitting at the edge of my bed. He saw that I woke up and lent over and told me to take it slow. My head was pounding. Got I was one hurting unit. I sat up and looked at Jeff. He looked so concerned about everything. I asked him what he was doing here and he told me that my brother called and told him what happened. I asked him if he told him everything and he said yes. I just put my head in my pillow wanting to disappear. He moved up closer to me and said he was my best friend no matter what and it didn't matter if I was straight, gay, bi or whatever. He was my best friend through everything. For the second time in the same day, I just cried my ass off. I was totally sobbing and shaking and Jeff came to my side and just hugged me. I heard a bunch of noise upstairs and I asked Jeff what was going on, and he told me that my brother invited a bunch of people over for a bit of a party. I asked who was there and he said a bunch of my brothers friends, but some of mine too. Word spread quick around the neighborhood what Dan did to me, and it didn't sit well with many. I asked him if Ryan was there, and he said no. He didn't really want to come over, especially if I was, indeed, "a fag"... I found this somewhat funny because Ryan was always the one to instigate our `show and tell' sessions. But I didn't care about him too much. "Jeff", I said. Can I ask you a question? "Sure" he said. "Are you gay?", "I mean, you are laying here with me, and stuff, and sticking up for me, why." He interrupted me. "No, I'm not gay. But you are my best friend. What kind of friend would I be if I didn't stick by you?" That night, me and Jeff slept together in my bed. He held me close the whole night. Whenever I moved, he moved. He just stayed close to me. The next day, I was one hurting unit, but luckily I had a lot of people who were around me that cared about me. My brothers best friend Mitch was sitting at the kitchen table when I got up. I walked into the kitchen and he was there. He was always a nice guy, just an older guy in school. We knew each other, but I wouldn't say that we were friends. I poured some juice and sat down at the same table and he asked me how I was doing, and I told him that I was pretty sore. He laughed at me and told me that he could tell. If I looked like anything like I felt, well, then I knew I was lookin pretty bad. I told Mitch that I was going to walk down to Dan's house today to ask him why he did this to me. Mitch told me that it wasn't a very good idea, but I walked out of the house and was going to do just that. I went down to my room and through on some clothes and walked down to Dan's house. When I got there, his mom was working on some flower boxes in the front yard. When she saw what I looked like, she was super concerned. She was a nurse. She looked me over and when she touched my chest, I winced, and she pulled up my shirt to see all of my bruises, then she got really concerned. I told her I was in a fight and I lost. I told her I really needed to talk to Dan and we could discuss this whole thing later. That I was fine. I went through the front door and went upstairs to Dan's room. I was kindoff surprised when I got up there and he was sitting smugly at the edge of his bed with his partner in crime, Sean. Great, I thought, here I am again, one against two. I am surely fucked again. Fyi -- this continues to be a true story of me growing up.