The Queen of Gay Romance”


This is my disclaimer for 2009 folks! As you know, I change them, so please read and smile!

This is a fictional character. I'll say that until I'm blue in the face and yet, someone will write to me and tell me I've got something wrong, or he/she is that character, or they're going to sue me because their client has a family member with that name.

I can put disclaimers on a story all day long and still, I get someone who is just about nuts who will do the above paragraph. It makes no sense to me, but apparently, there are people who take themselves so seriously they want to be a fictional character. Well to those of you who choose to be that way, go read someone else's story and be a fuck-tional character.

By the way, if you're reading this to jack off (Adam Curtis). I'll smile and you hold it in your hand and read until the end. If you've spilled a load (Edd Howes), I bet it wasn't reading a scene here! Everyone else who knows my writing is probably laughing their asses off right about now...I know I'm chuckling!

If you can hold it in your hand and type, then please BY ALL MEANS write me an email and send a photo of it. I want to see the man's appendage which can write, type, and just plain want to know it better!

If your appendage says it's straight, get a clue and get to a different site. If you're that confused, go to your search engine and type in Mental Health Help and seek the one in your area. Your appendage has my permission to cut and paste.

Just to make it an official disclaimer, if you're above the age of 18...great. If you're 118, super great...put a napkin over the keyboard and you won't get any drool on it.

If you're under the age of 18, please find the off switch on your computer and press it. It'll make your day and mine a lot brighter.

If you come back to this site when it reboots, please repeat until you lose interest. If it takes more than once, get a clue you dumb fuck!

Notes From RettaMichaels:

PlayMaker is written as a period piece. The lead character is writing his memoirs at the end of his career in this day and time. Please read it as such as I've really got no time to correct people for what is obvious.


Chapter Twenty Five:

Back in Akron, Jan met me at the terminal. We rode over to the stadium and as we entered the parking lot, she pointed.

There are the vehicles which have been returned so far.”

So they're leaving voluntarily?”

There was talk about us having to do formal evictions, but that got nixed for a large part.”


I called and had all the utilities shut off. I've had their credit denied and all the credit cards they were using from the team shut off. Some of them found it easier to accept the U-haul we're offering to move out and they're taking it.”

Tell them to leave the furniture which came with the houses.”

I think they're realizing we're going to be litigious about everything. If anyone takes anything, we'll be there to file suit.”

Ok, we need to get a team lawyer over here. Has Mike suggested anyone?”

He gave me the name of someone, but it's a question of him having time and us having time to meet him.”

If he doesn't have the time, cancel the appointment. Call Harvard Law and see if there are any takers. If we get someone, tell the person we'll pay half a million flat and nothing else in bonuses, commissions, and we're expecting a two year exclusive contract.”

Man! That's not going to get anyone!”

It will. Not all Harvard Law students get jobs with prestigious firms. Some are facing having to go work for a lot less and our offer will be a life saver.”

Then, we're getting less than stellar.”

It doesn't take a real rocket scientist to be great at contract law. It takes someone who is diligent for mistakes. With a word processor and me grading the work, either the person will correct the mistakes, or they'll be out in two years.”

You say person, you considering a woman?”

I'd prefer a woman.”


Several reasons. Women don't take anything off a man and they're not as apt to be swayed by star power.”

I'll make the call.”

When you call, ask the man you speak with about a student of his by the name of named Mallory. He'll know instantly who she is and he'll be more apt to ask her.”

Did that just come to you, or did you speak with someone?”

It just came to me. She's short, broad in the hips, and a real bitch when she gets riled. She's got a great personality to work around, so it'll make life more harmonious in the office.”

Set her up in the office?”

That office over there where the door is when it's back. I want to be able to look over and see her there. I figure if she sees me in my office, she'll know she's working for an owner's interest.”

We need an accountant.”

Call Harvard Business and seek a woman named Kelly. Her last name is hyphenated as either being Redmond Thoroughgood, or Thoroughgood Redmond.”

And this just popped into your head.”

Yeah, so if you need to write it down, then do it. What we'll need are some other hires as well.”

In what line?”

You need a couple of secretaries. But, I'll admit I'm wrong on a few things and you can smile.”

I'd not do that!”

Ok, then just laugh your ass off.”

In what regard?”

We need a publicist team. We need people booking appearances, these commercials, and getting everyone endorsements. We'll also need our own hair, makeup, camera, and editing crew with some expertise in computer generated graphics and animation.”

Where would I even begin to look for someone like that?”

Put an ad in the trade papers out in Hollywood.”

What would we pay them?”

Ask them what they're worth, but even more importantly, ask them what equipment they'll need and get a call out to Apple to see if they make it. Even better yet, call Steve Jobs out at Apple and see if he'd have anyone in mind for that position.”

Yeah, like I'd just call that man!”

Hang on, I'll call.”


I own a chunk of his company. He'll talk with me.”


I pulled out my phone and dialed, “Hello Steve?”


Are you busy?”

No, just finished with a business dinner and I'm driving home.”

Cool, I need to ask a few questions.”


I need a graphics person who can make commercials and animations for commercials.”


I own the Akron Angels and we need someone to do our graphics.”

How complex?”

Quite complex. I want us to be seen on the field and when I pull back to throw that ball, it sets the animation into play of our team all being a bunch of Angels taking flight and playing football. I want us to be seen as scoring and kicking the field goal through the gates of Heaven...and an upset St. Peter throwing the ball back.”

That's cool!”

Yeah, so what I need is someone who will work for us on that and I need to know what sort of equipment it'd take to do that and digitize our player stats so we've got a lot of real cool stuff on our jumbotrons.”

What sort of stuff?”

I want fireworks. I want our player's photo to be off on one side and his stats to be there. I want his picture turn into him hitting or throwing the ball and being seen in play, but what I want is the transition from his graphics to go to another players with a spray of stars, or sparks like a sparkler on the screen.”

Man, you're wanting a lot!”

I'm willing to pay the right person a lot to do that sort of thing, but I need to know what to pay and I need a person who is real good.”

You'd not get them exclusively. All of those people are getting picked up by movie companies and networks.”

There's not a girl out there by the name of Nelia...or Cornelia that you know about?”

Yeah, she'd not consider it.”

Tell her I'll pay her two million a year if she'll come to work for me.”


It means a lot to me. I want our jumbos alive, animated, and constantly being watched by our fans before the game.”

Why does it mean so much?”

Think of that half hour to an hour before the game as one long running commercial for our team. The player's pictures, stats, and everything roll from one to another and it's all ingraining itself into our fan's brains.”

Oh man!”

Yeah, so I'll pay that because I want our fans to know our players and I want them to know the stats and be able to rattle them off as being the best informed fans in the league. IF it's exciting, they'll do it without realizing they're being educated.”

What's your stadium like?”

It's a real dump. I'm about to spend a bunch of money on it. The sound system has to be brought up to professional quality and I want it to be heard with clarity to make it a near concert experience.”

I know a company and 'nelia works for them. She's got a lot of patents with them, so if she comes, I know she'll want to change it and give it a try.”

Can I get her number?”

I'll call her. She's a real hermit.”

Tell her I'm needing a studio quality commercial recording studio for the graphics too. I want to be able to hand our graphics to the networks and have them finding them so high in quality, they envy us for having her.”

You'll get her hired away from you.”

I think she's going to welcome working in the atmosphere of a small family here. Tell her our office is a small office with mostly women in it. Tell her the guys which are in the office are gay and owners, so we'll be gotten along with.”

He laughed, “Can I come to work there?”

Nope, you gotta make me money out there to pay for a new stadium.”


You as well as some of my other companies I own shares.”

I need you to intercede for me on something.”

What about?”

Pentium III chips.”


Intel is wanting to play favorites.”

How many of them do you need?”

Six hundred thousand.”

Ok, I'll make a call and tell them to play fair.”

Tell them to play period. It's like they've been told not to sell us anything.”

By whom?”

I'll give you one guess and his name is Bill Gates.”

I'll call and tell them either they can sell you the chips, or I'll call Bill Gates and demand he buy the shares I've got of Intel. When he refuses the price I demand, I'll tell him it's down to about ten percent of what I really think they're worth because of him. That's when I'll tell him I'm about to file suit for that loss.”

I can't prove it and you probably wouldn't either.”

I'll get you the chips. Is there anything particular you need in them?”

Just tell them to fill the order I sent.”

I'll call you right back.”

I hung up and dialed the phone. “Hello Dan?”

Yeah Jake.”

Guess what?”

I'm rather busy.”

Not too busy to find out I'm about to jump on a jet and call a stockholder meeting to get your ass out of there. Now, do you want to be unbusy?”

What's wrong?”

First of all, out of all my companies I own stock in, you guys are the stingiest. That's gotta change. You treat me like a leper and rather than taking it any more, I'll put my percentage in your company out in the Wall Street Journal inviting buyers who need it for a take over of your company. Comprend'e?”

All because you're not getting things?”

Things? I've got to get ONE thing for it to be A thing. I've got to get MORE than one thing for it to be THINGZZZZ. I can't even be given a tour around your campus out there, and yet, I'm finding out Bill Gates is calling shots like he just got ownership of the place.”

Whos says?”

Steve Jobs. He says he's sending orders and he's getting excuses. He says that order is six hundred thousand Pentium III's and someone obviously sees you guys making so much money I'm not getting the call as to why I'm not making ten percent of that sale. Are you following me?”

He called you?”

No, I called him and I got told he's being treated like dog shit on someone's shoe there and all he's getting is the scrape off. Now, are you going to fill that order?”

I wasn't aware he was being treated badly.”

Well, I'll expect him to receive a call from you. I'll call him back and tell him to receive that call.

If he's not gotten it by nine am my time out here in Akron, I'll tell you I'll be making a call to Kerkorian, Milliken, and a bunch of junk bond people to see if I can buy up a bunch of your trash bonds and gain some more hold.

IF you don't think I can, then, understand I'm signing nearly two billion dollars worth of endorsement deals tomorrow and I've got nearly that much sitting in a bank labeled as cash. IF I can't buy it and get satisfaction, I'll certainly sell it to one of them and be out from under the headache.”

What are you wanting for the stock?”

Try me.”

Five hundred and sixty million.”

Wrong, multiply that by ten and that's how much I'll be suing Gates for interfering in my ability to make a dollar on my stock. Now, are you getting what I think about this? Because I certainly got told just how much it'll take to buy that company.”

I'll call Jobs.”

You call him and you fulfill that purchase order he's sent. I'll tell you now it's bullshit I've got to call you and I'll tell you I really need to see something from you guys.”

You get dividends. With us giving all of our shareholders trinkets, we'd be giving less dividends.”

Ok, just one moment. You call the rest of the board in and I'll tell my business manager to turn this car around and get me back to the airport.

When I get there, you tell them people I'll be there within three hours and we'll be holding a board meeting in four. IF they fail to show, I'll have calls made to Milliken and Kerkorian five minutes after that meeting is missed and you know they'll be there bidding on my shares two hours after they get the call.”

So you want WHAT sort of things?”

T-shirts for a stadium full of people. I want hats for a stadium full of people. I want jackets for a stadium full of people. I want ads, banners, and I want one of my players as your pitch man for the next fifteen years at fifteen million a year.”

You've gone insane. What have you been drinking.?

I'll get off the phone now and tell Steve he's welcome to buy my shares for one dollar. I'd find it amusing to let him have that privilege. I BET you'd suddenly shit him some chips AT THAT POINT IN TIME!!!”

I hung up and laughed, “” My phone rang in my hand.


I'll get you what you want.”

I thought you'd see it that way. Now, pull that stunt again to ANY manufacturer and let me find out about it, you know the way I'll handle it. For your information, I own ten percent of that company too.

Your decision is not only costing money with Intel, it's costing me money with Apple and two other companies I've got investments in. So, you think about the reason I'm really pissed off and you pull a hundred dollar bill out of it and you just tear the thing into thirds and you'd see how much I've got to lose. I'll tell you if I've got to lose because of you, I'll stand to lose that by donating the shares to a worth cause and making from Apple or whatever manufacturer gives me that much in kind in their stock.”

I'll call him.”

I'm calling him back. I'll speak for five minutes and then I'll be off. You call him in six and tell him the order will be filled. Now, how long will it take to get him that order filled?”

Probably two weeks.”

None on hand?”

They're popular.”

Let someone else slide while that order gets filled in one week. He needs to be appeased.”


Jan, turn this car around. I need to fire this asshole.”

I'll get it done!”

Thank you.”

I hung up and said, “Sorry Jan.”

She laughed, “You treat them like dirt?”

The man treats me like he's got a mouth full of wisdom teeth and I'm the dentist. He's failing to realize I could take it so many ways to make it bad for him. Rather than handling business like that, he needs to really think about ways to make money.”

I dialed Steve. “Hello?”



He's calling in five minutes to tell you you'll have the chips in a week. When he calls, you tell him if you don't receive the chips in one week, I'll trade you equal amounts of my stock in him for stocks with you. That should give him heart failure.”

He laughed real loud. “Oh man! I'd do it.”

I know and that's what he got told. He also tried telling me it'd take two weeks to fulfill the order and he got told one week and to let other people slide as you're a priority.”

I appreciate it.”

No problem. Now, would you do me a favor and tell that man what all you guys do for me to make me feel special as an owner in your company?”


Because I'm drowning in stuff from you guys, but I've yet to get ONE THING from them. I can't even get a tour of their campus!”


Yeah, so I told him it's time I start to feeling really special from them, if not, I'll trade you stock and you just tell that man if I do that, you'll name your next child Angel whether it be a boy or girl. I think he'll realize I feel closer to you guys than him.”

For what it's worth, I'll name my kid Jake whether it be a boy or girl for that stock.” he said giggling. “Hang on, I'm getting the evil eye here.”

Tell her I said Angel is nicer.”

Hon, he said Angel would be a nicer name.”

That's good dear. Are you planning on having the kid!”

I laughed, “Ooh, tell her if you do, I'll be there in the delivery room holding your hand and telling you to pant because we know we want a natural birth in order to make you feel more like a woman.”

I don't need your help Jake!”

I thought it was cool.”

Here she is.”


I told him if he has the kid, I'll be there holding his hand and coaching him in panting because you and I both know he'll need to feel more like a woman.”

No pain medication. I think he needs the complete experience.”

Ok, but we'll need a strong leather strap and a bullet.”

She laughed, “Aim the bullet inward.”

How are you doing?”

Fine, what's this about him naming a kid for you?”

I told him if he has any more problems with Intel, I'll give him my Intel stock for an even trade in Apple.”

Oh, in that case, you can be the father!”

When he conceives?”

She laughed, “Oh, that's better! I saw your uh hmmm on the tv. Man!”

That was an accident. Speaking of which, watch reruns of Larry King and Letterman tonight. I'm on both.”



I'll do that.”

It's rather funny...especially Letterman.”

You're doing the talk show circuit?”

I guess. We're doing Leno on Wednesday.”


They want to interview me...well, the team. Speaking of which, are you guys looking for any spokesmen?”


My guys are all seeking to be spokesmen. I'm trying to get them contracts.”

Who is your statistician?”

Aaron Holmes.”

Tell him I'll get him something here to do a commercial about. That kid is cute.”

Ok, I'm sure he'll be appreciative. I know I am.”

Don't worry about it hon. I think you're our favorite shareholder.”

I hope so, I know you guys are my favorite investment...well, the Angels are my favorite, but you guys are second.”

I can guess where Intel is on the list!”

No, they don't even rate that high. I'm really fed up in not getting anything from them.”

So we're your favorites because we give you things?”

No, it's not that. What I mean is Intel doesn't give me ANY thing. I can't even get a tour of their place out there. And when I speak with the man, it's like he perceives I'm offering him a case of the clap. I can't even get fucked satisfactorily by the man.”

She laughed, “Oh man! Kid, you're funny.”

Watch Larry King and Letterman. You'll have a good laugh.”

Ok, we'll do that!”

I'll get off here.”

Bye hon.”

I hung up and said, “Good, that's taken care of Aaron's got endorsement deals.”

You speak on the phone for ten minutes and get him endorsements and solve the problems of two corporations.”

I aim to please.”

We walked into the stadium and I saw about ten cases of Sundrop sitting by the entrance. “Oh honey, this stuff needs to be put in the vault! IF everyone finds out how good this stuff is, they'll expect me to share!”

They sent it in with the players. There's a bunch of Double Cola here too.”

We need the Double Cola put back for Aaron. He loves the stuff.”

I tried it, it's terrible.”

Yeah, I'm not real keen on it. Have you tried Sundrop?”


Better than Mountain Dew. It's like a nice citrus punch.”


Here, I'd tell you to drink it now, but it being hot wouldn't be good except for a lot of burps. That might be cool, but you and Chris would get into a burping war and that'd be bad.”

She laughed, “I'll try a sip.”

She took off the cap and took a sip. “Mmmm, that's good!”

Yeah, that's why it's gotta be kept up in a refrigerator in the office where it can be guarded. If you think it's good warm, you'd find it just absolutely refreshing ice cold. I've been known to down this stuff in one drink.”

You ought to make a commercial for them.”

I've got Pepsi. I'll have to fill their Mountain Dew bottles with this stuff in order to do that.”

That'd be wrong.”

No, what would be wrong is if I could do a commercial where I drank two in a row in one down. They'd think I really loved the Dew when it's really the Drop which I like.”

She smiled, “It is tasty. Care to share with me?”

Sure, but call the company and see if they've got supplier for it here. While you're at it, you might see if they've got a Shasta supplier here who can get us diet Peach. That's my next favorite.”


Oh yeah, for my sixteenth birthday, my grandma used Sundrop with lime sherbet in it for one punch while she used the diet Peach with Peach sherbet in the other and both of them were popular. No one knew one was diet.”

It's that good?”

Yeah, I can't tell the difference between the diet Peach and the regular.”

Does Sundrop have a diet?”

Yeah, it's got a white label. You might like it, but I don't.”

What's it like?”

Chris and I both got two liter bottles of the stuff and both of us labeled it Elk piss. I think we both dumped it out and just blew up the bottles.”

Blew up the bottles!”

Yeah, some day, we'll have to show you how we blow up bottles. It's way fun.”

By the look on your face, I'd say there's a story there.”

There is, but if I told it on a talk show, they'd have me buried under a prison.”

It's bad?”

Here's what you do. You take a two liter bottle and you put a cork in the top of the bottle. Then, you drill a hole in the cork and put a piece of pipe with a valve stem adapter on it. You hook that to a hose attached to an air compressor and you kick on the air compressor. It fills the bottle up and eventually, it blows up. Now, it's loud by itself, but if you put about a quarter cup of gasoline in it, when it blows, it's way louder and more colorful.”

You did that!”

Yeah! It was something he and I did a lot until we got it perfected. The only thing is you've got to be way far away because it'll blow little streamers of plastic all over the place. What he and I did was we'd put it in his back yard and then run to the little metal shed.”

You know there's probably a law against that.”

Yeah, noise ordinance. I know we cleared out the Catholic church one Sunday during their mass.”

You did what!”

Chris's house has an alley behind it. On the other side of the alley is the side of the church. That Sunday, we decided to use a 3 liter bottle instead of a 2 liter and half a cup of gasoline instead of a quarter. Well, it blew and it was LOUD. Needless to say, the people in the church were surprised and the priest commenced to come out and see what it was. About then is when Chris' dad came out blazing mad because we woke him up. The priest saw his dad and started cussing him and we stayed in that shed laughing our butts off.”

I'd've killed you kids if you were mine!”

He wasn't happy. We sort of camped out over at my Grandma's for the day.”

You could've HURT someone!”

I'd show you what it'd do out on the parking lot, but the noise from this little plastic bottle would probably be enough to wake all the people in the apartments.”

It's that loud!”

Yeah, I mean it's an explosion. It's like a stick of dynamite going off in a little bottle.”

It's a wonder you didn't get hurt.”

No, we were cautious. We learned from our mistakes and learned it takes a rubber washer on the other end to keep the cork in the bottle. If you don't, the cork will fly out and that's when someone could get beat with the hose flying around.”

She laughed, “I've never even heard of anyone doing that!”

It's country fun. You're a city kid.”

By then, we were at the office. “Where are the keys to the vehicles down there?”

IN my desk.”

Do we have a credit card for the team?”

Yeah, you've not gotten yours yet?”

No, not unless you got one for me today.”

I called. They should be getting you one within this week.”

Are the accounts for the one you have shut down?”

Not this one. It's for the stadium.”

I need to ask about the Mansion. What's with not being able to tear it down?”

You can tear it down. He couldn't. He signed a contract which stated it wouldn't be torn down. He did and then, he got told he was contractually obligated to have not done it. He skirted it by naming the high rise 'the Mansion'.”

So we're able to tear it down?”

Yeah, it's not in your contract, right?”

No, it's not mentioned in there, but then again none of those buildings are mentioned.”

It's under the team's physical assets on the spread sheet.”

Ok, I need to know that so when we're tearing down buildings, it goes.”

How are you planning on doing things?”

On Thursday, when I speak with the Mayor, I'm going to find out about how I can get the streets shut down. I figure if we own all the land on both sides of a street, we should be able to ask the city for them to abandon the street. They should allow it since it's in the best interest of the team and the city.”

It's going to be that large?”

It's not going to be small at all.”

Do you have a design in mind?”

It's up here roughly,” I said tapping my head, “ but I just can't figure out the outside of it. I can tell you what I want, but I can't tell you how it'll be shaped.”

Ok, let's lay out what all you want with it.”

First and foremost, the sports field. Then there's the mall. Another requirement is going to be a water event area. In that area, I want a water park and some slides. At another entrance, I want a large cinema and theatrical auditorium.”

How big?”

I'm not really sure. How big is too big? And how big is not big enough? I want something big enough it's viewed as something the city is proud of.”

Ok, What else?”

The cinema area. I want an Imax. I want a lot of various sized rooms with enough so we've got what is out there on a given week.”

A lot have sixteen.”

Then go twenty four.”

I'm not following your reasoning why?”

Ok, let me tell you what I'm seeing and how it's possible.”

That would be better.”

Go to the stadium and put what I want there.”


Four levels. The largest have three now, but we're going to have those levels on both sides. At the ends, we'll have viewing areas and sky boxes up above two levels.

Now, at the HOME side, we're going to have a lot of booths for sports announcers and VIP seating.”

That's smart.”

Well, what I'm getting to is there's going to be a long long wall there at that back of that seating. It's going to be up some hundred and forty feet, so that wall can be our movie screens. The emergency exits can vent out into that hallway which is a common exit.”

That's smart.”

Here's where it's going to be different than most. Our screens aren't going to be projected. We're going to have jumbotrons so we have really excellent digital dimension and clarity. Yeah, it's expensive, but so are the seats in there. The seats are going to have speakers built in and volume buttons. They're going to be softer and more like a recliner than the usual cramped seats people are used to now.”

That's a lot of money.”

You're not getting it yet because I'm not done.”


Those seats are going to be up on pedestals. You come in and your seat is raised. When you want to go to the bathroom or get something to eat, you lower your seat down and you walk under all those seats. No more inconveniencing your row and no more having to move your knees and no more seeing someone's head in front of you.”

How's that going to happen?”

If you notice, there's a rake to the floor of a normal theater. In this one, there's not going to be. You come in, and you sit. It goes up and it's all automatic so you've got a prime viewing angle and you're seeing that screen.”

It sounds expensive.”

A normal seat in a movie theater costs around seventeen hundred dollars. Are you aware of that?”

No, that's expensive!”

Yeah, it's damned expensive. Seventeen thousand dollars for a row of ten.

I figure if we're going to spend a lot for a theater which holds five hundred people, we might as well make it super nice because this building is going to be around for thirty years, at least.”

That's it?”

Yeah, look at the Astrodome and the Superdome. They're long in the tooth and their only twenty years old. Soon, they'll have a lot of them coming down and a lot of new ones going up. My goal is to set the standard which most aren't going to strive to meet.”


Because of expense. I'm doing what I can to curb the cost, but even I know there's a limit. Now, look at what we've got over at the stadium side of things.”


Jumbotrons and sound systems. We're going to spend in the ballpark of two million just on sound equipment.

When you throw in the amplification and what we need to do in order to get the sound heard, it's going to be three million dollars. That's before those jumbotrons and that's before the show goes on. Now divide the number of attendees into it and you've got around forty dollars per person just on sound. You need to figure another ninety per person on the video. That's a hundred and thirty dollars.”

How are you coming up with these figures.”

Jumbotrons cost a million for the big ones...six hundred thousand for the small ones. I'm wanting to throw four large ones up there with them being side by side so you've got more screen area. We'll go with four big and four small. That's six point four million divided by eighty thousand people which is eighty bucks.”

You roll math out of your head way faster than I can even try doing it with a calculator.”

Eight times eight is sixty four.”


It's all ohs after that.” I said smiling.

She chuckled. “Ok, I've got ya now.”

Here's where I'm going to take you for a loop.”


We've spent a hundred and thirty dollars for sound and video without improving the seats and assuring the fan even gets to see the game. All we know is they're watching jumbo and hearing the game. They might as well be at home watching television.”

What are you wanting to do?”

First of all, I want the seats to have sound built in. I want them to have a way of seeing the game, so unless I go out there and sit during a game, I'm not finding out if we've got optimal seat rake and I'm not sure there's enough walkway in front so no one has to move their knees.”

That really bugs you.”

It bugs me because of several things. First of all, fire code states forty inches between the back of that seat and the arm of the other for proper walkway. If your knees stick out a foot, then there's twenty eight which is a decent walkway.”

That sounds decent.”

Most places only put thirty inches from seat back to arm. That same foot off of it is eighteen which isn't wide at all. You're walking sideways and either Matilda in front of the guy walking is going to have her beehive ripped off with the buttons of his 501's, or Clyde is getting his nose rubbed with buttons. I imagine he's not going to want to know Billy Bob that well. So, we build it right and we go with rows of ten wide so it's easy to get to the aisle.”

You're doing this in your head as you go along, right?”

Yeah, because the ultimate question is how much seating area I have to have in order to hold that one hundred and forty thousand.”

Why that number?”

You're going to think I pull numbers out of my ass, but ultimately, I've got to crunch numbers as an owner. I've got to meet payroll and I've got to have a team paid well enough to be good.”


Fifty six players. That gives me twenty eight on each side. It gives me a first string of eleven and a second string of eleven with six people on the injured.

Now, let's say I want them to make six million each average. That's fifty six times six which is three hundred and thirty six million dollars. I've got twenty eight games in a season and there are fourteen home and the same away. Right?”


I'm not making money when they're away, so it's ultimately down to me paying these guys from the fourteen games. Three thirty six divided by fourteen is twenty four million a game I've got to come up with in order to make payroll.”

That's a helluva lot.”

Yeah, now Tom's told me he's paid for his team multiple times, but what I see is I don't know how. We've got a stadium as large as his and in order to make that twenty four million from the eighty thousand seats, we've got to make three hundred dollars each from the fans per game.

Now, let's take it from the parking lot forward and see how much they spend.”

Ok, five bucks parking.”

Yeah, let's say there are four people in that car. Twenty thousand cars. That's a hundred grand.”

No, let's not do it that way. You're wanting to know how much they spend per person.”

Oh ok, five bucks per car.”

A buck twenty five per person. Now, on the way in, they meet someone with a player guide which costs a buck twenty five.”

They're not going to buy that every time.”

A light bulb went off in my head. Coupons! “UNLESS they find it worth their while to buy that guide!”

What's that mean?”

What are the average costs of the tickets?”

Forty dollars.”

Jesus! A Madonna concert costs fifty eight. I'm no Madonna.”

You've got her legs.”

OK, let's lower the price to thirty five dollars in that player guide. Let's also let them have a hot dog and a cold drink for half price and give them five dollars off a player hat. That's plenty of incentive, right?”

For a buck twenty five, you just gave them the goods, but they'll use it the next time and not this.”

No, I want them people to hear later they were idiots. Then, the next time they'll be begging the guy to sell them a guide.”

How about having another guy inside so they can go get the guide once they find out they're idiots.”

Ok, but there's not going to be a coupon in those for reduced tickets.”

She nodded.

Ok, we've got them paying thirty five plus that two fifty. Now, how much do we average per sale over at the merchandise booth?”

It's going to go down since you reduced the prices.”

It might go up since more people can afford stuff.”

She nodded and said, “They were averaging twenty to twenty five dollars.”

Let me make a call. I need merchandise.”

I dialed Dan. He answered, “Hello?”

This is Jake, how's it going?”


I need merchandise. What do you know so far?”

I know all the new jerseys are ordered.”

I want a change to those jerseys which look like our player jerseys.”


We need a stripe down the side under the arm pit on each side.”


It's easy to see from our security people and it instantly tells them they aren't a player. All we need is one of those people to get in and kill one of us and we've got a problem. If we build in security, we've got a way to easily tell who is legit and who isn't.”

Ok, but the first batch isn't going to have them.”

How many did you order?”

All the other guys got fifty thousand ordered. You got a hundred.”


They'll sell quick.”

How fast do you think it'd take to spray paint fan across the back?”

The numbers are there and so is your name.”

Dan, I'm about to buy my own jerseys from you to save my life. Now, how fast do you think I'll be able to spray paint the jerseys to make them conform to what I need?”

I don't know.”

Ok, how much did you spend on those jerseys?”

Three dollars each.”

How many total?”

Seven hundred and fifty thousand worth.”

So two and a quarter million saves my life.”

No, I spent seven hundred and fifty thousand.”

Did a bunch of guys not get jerseys ordered?”


You said I had a hundred thousand. Right?”

A hundred thousand worth.”

Oh, so thirty three thousand jerseys.”

Yeah, but no.”

What's that mean?”

You buy with them and they throw some in.”

How's that?”

If you buy a dozen, they give you six free.”

That's pretty decent.”

Not really.”

Why not?”

The six free are small.”

Cut the price to five bucks for small. We'll have them standing in line for them.”

Ok, now here's what you need to know. They charge extra for the XXL and larger.”

Find a new supplier or tell them to cancel the order. I'm not paying more for a half an inch to an inch of material.”


The only difference is half an inch to an inch in material through the shoulders from a large to an extra large. In the stomach, it might be more, but I know guys aren't wanting to wear a large if he's a size large. He'll wear an XL or larger. Rather than pay extortion to a supplier, I'll start my own company.”

You're serious!”

As a heart attack. All it is is sewing machines and a metal Quonset hut out in the fucking jungle. Throw some electricity to the place and then hire the people for three bucks a day. They come because rice is free. They work for sixteen hours and when they fall over dead, a help wanted sign gets put out.”

You really mean this?”

That's what the fuck THEY'RE doing. If you think different, then you really need to go over there and inspect. When you do, you measure how much shoulder there is difference and then, you'll see I'm right.”

These are made in the United States.”

The tags are sewn on in the United States. All the rest comes in boxes saying Product of Malaysia on the sides.”

You can see this?”

Yeah, I can see those kids over there working and I see plain shirts coming over here. Those tags get sewn on here and all those embroidered logo patches. However, they're about to start sending those embroidered patches over so they can be knocked off so they don't have to pay the dollar each to the league. Now, what I'll tell you is the second I put a counterfeit patch on my shirts before I am even in the league, your ass will go out the door.”

I'll tell them to put a stop to it.”

Tell them I want that price down to sixty six cents for that plain shirt. They bumped it up four times when they found out they were speaking with you.”

I'll cancel the order.”

Call the man down there in Australia. He's reputable and although he knows your reputation, he knows you pay.”

You're seeing all this!”

Yeah, now Dan, you lied to me once and we both know what that was about. I'll tell you now these people are messing with you. Pull out of that supplier in Los Angeles and get to the man in Memphis.”


I've made your job easier. You're over Merchandising, but Dolly is over food service. She's moving mountains down there, so it's going to be good.”

What was the issue?”

There's a steam line under the floor to where it goes to the equipment. The rats were in there scalding to death on the pipes.”


She had a pile of rats over in the corner which was about eight feet in diameter and four feet tall. She hooked electrical like to the pipes and fried them.”

They were alive?”

They were breeding and going in to eat the dead. She had to use a vacuum to suck them out of that pipe chase.”

How'd she handle it?”

She was tough. I was over there gagging and she acted like it was another day at the office.”


When are you heading back this way?”

Probably early next week. I'm dealing with insurance people here.”

Ok, well, I'll get off here. I was calling to check in.”

That's how it's going.”

Ok, good luck with the insurance people.”

I hung up and turned to Jan, “I realize he's got problems, but I'm feeling like I'm going into things a month away with no merchandise.”

You'll be fine.”

I'm going to make a call and see if I can get someone to make some posters. I figure if I've got another ten dollar poster up there for me and the guys with different poses, we're doing great.”

She smiled, “Are you feeling the pinch financially here?”

I'm worried about how I'm going to get what I want and paying these guys what they're worth. As you know, a good number of these high school players are going to be in a position where I'll either have to offer them a contract or I'll have to let them go.”

The endorsements you've gotten them is considered income from the team.”


You are the owner and in them signing the contract to endorse a company, you'll have to sign behind them in order to allow them to endorse the company.”

That makes absolutely no sense.”

It does, if you think about it. For example, let's say you, being owner of the Angels, would want to donate some of your proceeds to the World Wildlife Federation.

Now, let's say you have a player who is wanting to endorse a clothing manufacturer which uses baby seal skin. It's a direct conflict. Now do you allow him to represent that company? Or, do you tell him it's in conflict with the team's principles?”

She paused and held up a contract. “This is a little more closer to home. It's a contract for the NRA. I'll tell you now it's a conflict of your personal principles.”


They back every Republican they can. The Republicans are against Gays having any rights, so do you allow the NRA to be endorsed by a player?”

I was thinking about having DJ endorse them.”

And he's gay. They'll probably shut him down on him endorsing them.”

Send the thing back to them and tell them a polite and firm no thank you.”

She smiled, “I don't know how it got here. Did you call them?”


Then either Lorne did or someone else.”

I doubt if Lorne did. It might've been the Pepsi guy.”

Just the same, we've got to do backgrounds on these companies and see what their stand is in all measures. You sure don't want to find out in the future they're not going to support the new President if it's Clinton.”

Are we wanting to endorse him?”

He's promising gay rights. I know the Republican party isn't putting anything on the table for gays.”

Ok, I'll back him if he keeps his word.”

Hang back and see if he is whom you want to endorse.”

Ok, I need to make a commercial which is about the political commercials which will be drowning the airwaves.”

How would you do it?”

MTV's got the Rock The Vote. Chevy's got the Solid As A Rock thing going. I could have a truck out there. It could show me driving and seeing lots of political banners out in yards. I could say something, “Chevy's not telling you who to vote for. All we want you to do is get out and vote.”

That's pretty good.”

It'd get us air play on MTV since it's their theme to entice young people to vote.”

You might tie in being an Angel and it's wings being clipped and unable to soar if they don't vote.”

I'll think about that wording. It's a good theme. Do you realize I'm a spirit of the Hawk and I'm representing winged creatures?”

Which ones? I know the Angels.”

Stein has the Falcon E on their logo, so indirectly, I'm representing the falcons too.”

Birds of Prey...or Pray...”

I find it neat.”

It is a bit of coincidence.”

She handed me the credit card for the stadium. “That's yours. I've got more.”

See who has these. I don't want to find I'm footing the bills of someone who shouldn't have it.”

I've already looked into it. Maintenance down there has it, but they're not allowed to purchase without a purchase order. Laundry has one, but they rarely ever use theirs. All of their purchases I can remember in memory have all been through purchase order and requisition.”

I hope Dolly has one.”

She does.”

Where's she staying?”

With me. I really like her.”

She's a sweetheart. She's like my second cousin.”

She's got a way about her which makes everyone like her.”

Have you kept in touch with her today?”

Yeah, she's got a good solid start on her rip out. She's went ahead and gotten tile people in to get her what she wants and the other trades.”

She'll need lots of cleansers for all that stainless steel.”

She's already spoken with me about it and has told me she's using vinegar. It cuts through grease and it keeps it clean.”

Good, does she like the job?”

She loves it.”

What are we paying her?”

The last manager down there was making sixty three thousand a year.”

How much work is involved in the position?”

She's ordering and cooking all the food served.”

Get her more money.”

How much?”

Double it. She's came here from back home and she's did us a great service.”

You might want to speak with her and see if she's interested in staying. I think she thinks it's temporary.”

I'll speak with her. You might also.”

Will do.”

Here's a key with her. Tell her she's needed and tell her she's wanted. Stress her importance with us and be sure to tell her the accomplishments you see and how much things look better.”

Ok” She paused and gave me a funny look, “What's her story?”

She got burned out on her marriage. He didn't tell her he needed her, wanted her, or loved her.

She felt like she was not much more than the maid and pit stop on his trucking route. He'd come in and give the place a once over and then go back out on the road.

He'd call and check in and would do the same thing. Finally, she told him to come home when she told him she was ready. That didn't happen before he laid the truck over and got gravely injured. She went and he died.”

Oh dear.”

She loved him, but she's the sort of gal who needs to hear she's receiving it. I'll tell her because I know it's something she needs.”

Is she dating anyone?”

I don't believe so.”

I wonder if she'd feel offended if I played matchmaker?”

I doubt it...if the guy is a charm.”

He's a widower. I know he really loved his wife.”

You mean he goes around making women a widow!”

She laughed, “Hon, do you know what the word is?”

My grandma was a widow. It means my grandpa was dead. She wasn't a widow until he died. So a widower sounds to me like he's a bad doctor. He makes women widows.”

No! A widower is a man whose wife has died.”

Oh. Why didn't you say that?!”

She laughed, “Well, you learned the meaning of a word here.”

Is he nice?”

Yeah, and a perfect gentleman.”

Introduce him to her before I take him.”

We chuckled and she asked, “What are you going to do with the keys?”

I need a vehicle for over here. Jordan needs one also. Then, we need a larger vehicle to do errands for the stadium, so I'm going to see which key fits what, mark it, and then put back the ones we're wanting to use for here.”

The stadium has maintenance trucks for errands. They're the errand boys of the place.”

Well tell Dolly to have one near her because I know she's already doing a lot of stuff herself.”

I'll do that.”

Between having the keys to the vehicles and the the credit card, I'm fine. I'm going to fill them with gas and haul some of the Sundrop over to the Mansion.”

Ok, I'll go on home then.”

I want you to know I appreciate everything you do for me, and the team.”

I know you do hon.”

We went out and she asked, “Pick out a nice car for me too, ok?”

Sure, why don't you come on down and we'll find it for you.”

Darnell Ross had a AMG Mercedes which was a beautiful car. Can I have it?”


We went out onto the parking lot and started hitting panic buttons on key fobs. As they honked horns, I put tape on the back of the fob and gave a number to the car's parking place.”

What are you doing?”

That spot closest to the door is parking spot one. The one next to it is two and on down the line until we fill those spots.”

Those are reserved for players?”

Yeah. None of the Spartans have cars over here. They'll have something to drive.”

Do you want them staying in those houses?”

How many are there?”

Fourteen. Twelve are in one subdivision and two are at other places.”

I'm torn about that. I'd tell you yeah, but sure enough as I do that, we'd find out the place was trashed and there's not any furniture. Then we're obligated to buying furniture.

My idea is to throw them on the market and then take the money from them and buy a nice hotel. That way, we've got places to have the visiting teams to stay plus our guys.”

That's a good idea!”

Do we pay for them a hotel room when they come to visit?”


Well, see about buying a hotel for that purpose. Also, you might buy a bus so they've got a vehicle to get to the hotel and to the stadium in.”

That's thoughtful.”

It's a slamming point I'll use when I need to trash talk the other team. I'll get a Wall Street Journal while I'm out and then see what they've got in there. You might call around to real estate places and get a list of addresses. We'll spend some time on Wednesday driving by them to see if they've got strong street appeal.

Until then, you might call Tom and tell him I've got his team a place to stay when he's up here.”


He's the team we're playing when we have our first home game. By then, I want him to see...oh damn! I need you to do me a huge favor.”

What's that?”

Tomorrow, get the phone number for Tan-Tar-A and get it reserved for a weekend in November. We need the whole place for the league. Tell them we'll need a conference room. If you need any other questions on how it should be set up, you might call Tom and ask him who does those meetings for him and what he requests.”

I've done all that before while here.”

Good, then you know where they stayed and what all they saw while here?”

I have.”

I'm so glad I've got you.”

Do you still want it at Tan-Tar-A?”

Yeah. Now I need to call Grant and tell him because we've got to have the team there for that. He knows, but I bet he's forgotten.”

I pulled out my phone and dialed, “Hello?”



I just thought of something I'd forgotten about. You'll need to tell the team we're going to need them for a weekend in November.”


That meeting down at Tan-Tar-A.”

Oh man, I forgot about that!”

Me too. I just remembered it. I think we'll need the team there for that, right?”


Well, what we'll do is we'll tell them tomorrow.”

I just watched Letterman and I want to say you were great.”

Thank you, now what for?”

That throw. Jeez, five hundred and twelve feet in through a window on a taxi cab? Do you realize how perfect that is?”

Yeah, it was cool.”

I expected you to throw it and make it that far, but I wasn't expecting you to have that accuracy.”

It was sort of a fluke it happened because as you saw, that was completely not scripted.”

I know! Did you guys get the ball back?”

No. As far as I know, some cabbie is running around with a ball in his cab.”

You might use that accuracy in some commercials.”

I'll do that. Did you realize commercials are a part of what I tell the world they make for money?”

No, really?”

Yeah, I think that's sort of cool and sort of cheap since I'm not paying them that money, but Jan said I can do it since I get the right of refusal.”

I didn't know that either.”

Me neither. She explained it and it makes sense. She also gave me one to refuse...the NRA.”

Don't refuse it.”

Why not?”

If you have any like that you want to refuse, have my dad do them.”

Ok, I'll tell Jan. Hang on a second.”

I turned to Jan and said, “Don't refuse the NRA contract. We're going to have Mr Oberling, Grant's dad, do it.”

Oh, ok?”

I think it'd be perfect. Him having a rifle in his hands would be absolutely scary. Hell, for that matter, I'll dress up as a bunny and have him dressed as Elmer Fudd. He could be chasing me with a shotgun and ask where that waskewy wabbit went.”

Grant was laughing, “I was thinking about having a wreck like the one he keeps saying he had and have him getting out of the car with his shotgun...forgetting my mom was still in the car.”

He'd LOVE that!”

They might say it has to be a player of ours.”

IF so, then I'll put him out there for one play and bench him the rest of the time. We could put him all the way to the back on a kick off for one play and he'd qualify for being a player of ours.”

You might see if he wants to be in some capacity.”

I'll do that. Our insurance would be great for them.”

Do we have insurance?”

We better have with the amount of injuries we've got. Let me ask.”

I turned to Jan, “Do we have insurance for our players and their families?”


Then we've got to have our insurance man ride with us to Moberly to get them signed up. Also, if you have parents who need insurance, sign them up.”

My parents are dead.”

Oh, sorry.”

You didn't know hon.”

I got back on with Grant and said, “She said we've got insurance.”

That's good. Now, since you're co-owner of half of everything I own, we could put all the same people under the umbrella if you wanted.”

Me pay for them?”

No, us sharing the costs. The advantage is more people under the plan and better coverage.”

Do you have a good plan?”

It's not that good.”

Let me see what I've got our people. If it's not excellent, I'll make it excellent and get your people over onto the rolls. You just consider that annual payment I make my share on all those taxes I hear you silently trying to nail me with.”

No, I wouldn't do that.”

You need to get me that roll of names and list of companies so our guy knows where he needs to go to explain the plan.”

Ok, I'll make the calls. You should have them hopefully by practice. You are coming, right?”

Yeah, I'll be there about the same time as normal. You might see if we've got a bus we can use.”


The 747 is better for us to fly in. It can't land up there. We can land in Columbia, but then we've got to drive up. If we've got a bus there to take them up, we're better.”

Ok, I've got some paperwork for you to sign for school.”

I'll do it, but tell my teachers to have my finals ready and I'll take them all on the same day.”

They're wanting to know what classes you're taking for your Spring semester.”

I'll get them down. I was planning on taking mass media and drama. It'd be neat if I could take that as work study and use all these commercials as credit.”

For the mass media, would you allow the kids here to see the room over there to show them how it's all done?”

Yeah, speak with the teacher. What we'll do is we'll show them the room and get them experience with our cameras and getting the shots. You might tell the drama teacher too. He could see if the students want to be on field commentators for the team for a game. We could do interviews and have them seeing that side of things.”

I'll do that. Would you speak with them tomorrow if I've got them here?”


I think the opportunity you're giving them is going to be great.”

It'd be a class field trip which would take the entire day. You do know that, right?”


I'll need release forms signed so they can fly on the jet. We can use the little jet for that. It holds forty.”

They've got numerous classes. It might not be big enough.”

Ok, well, the 747 will be big enough. It'd give them an insight to how the team travels.”

You realize this is larger than life for a lot of our guys, right?”

Yeah, but for a lot of them who wish to continue with us, it's life as it is now.”

I think it's funny because the money is already hitting kid's accounts. What's funny about it is I've had phone calls from parents asking what it was for.”

They didn't know!”

They didn't expect that much.”

Oh, well tell them it'll vary from week to week.”

You're going to need to have someone come in and speak with these kids about tax plans and investment advice. The amount of money they're going to be making is going to really not be what they're used to...or their families.”

Who do you speak with about it?”

I'll get him in to speak with them. Who would think I'd coach a high school team and have to teach investment strategies and tax plans too?!”

It's a blessing for them. Just be prepared for probably every boy in the school to go out for the team next year.”

What do I do if that happens?”

Take them. You might not play them, but we sure can use them around here someplace.”

They'll expect that money.”

Let me see how we can do it. It might be a thing where we won't be able to offer them an onfield position, but they'll still be paid decent.”


I need to get off here. That's what was on my mind. And thanks for the compliment.”

Thank you for all the compliments.”

I didn't say anything which wasn't true.”

I know, but we argue and I wonder what you're going to say.”

I say what is really in my heart. You do too. I know that. Sometimes, we let shit get in the way.”

I know. I'm sorry about all that.”

Me too. Now, let's work on the forward and not look at all the stuff behind us.”


Good night.”

Good night. I love you.”

I love you too.”

I hung up and Jan smiled, “I think that was one of your better conversations with him as of late.”

It is, but I think he knows underneath it all we've got mutual feelings.”

You're going to put insurance on all his people?”

Yeah, tell our guy I want one of the best plans we can get.”

How are you able to do all that?”

My name is on half of all he owns. I'm an inactive owner, but he wants it that way so if he should ever die, I'm there.”

Why'd he do that?”

He was my guardian and has no kids. He wants it to go to me because he sees something my dad did with him as helping him to make it to what it is today.”

What'd your dad do?”

One day, I'll take you over there and drive you around. You'll see a little gas station which has a huge canopy. I mean, the station is like the size of our office. Then, you've got a huge truck stop canopy which is covering a whole bunch of gas pumps. That station is what built him up to being the mogul he is in Moberly.”


Yeah, he got given the station by his dad.

When he started, his dad had that building and property, but very little else. When Grant got it, he had all sorts of dreams about what to do, but realized in order to build it, he needed to do the work himself.

My dad and he were close, so they built things. As it went, those things made money too and it started a snowball rolling down hill. He views my dad's work as being an investment in the company.”

So he's giving you half of it?”

Yeah, but I'll tell you it's an investment in the future with him too. Well, it's an investment in what we had and what will probably be true.”

What's that?”

On the night my grandma died, he and I went out to the graveyard where my parents are buried and had a talk. When we were out there, we heard my dad's voice and got told Grant and I would be together in fourteen years some months and days.”

Man! I bet you guys freaked.”

Yeah, but here's the thing about each one of us. Let's say I die and come back to speak with you. There's a phrase I use which probably only I use...or there's something only I do which will tell you it's me. With my dad, he used the phrase and a bluntness I only use when I'm really irked. For my dad, it was his way of speaking normally...except for me, I guess. He used the phrase and the bluntness and Grant knew it was my dad. Then, he showed himself.”

How'd you feel about that?”

Great. I mean, I'd never heard my dad's voice or didn't remember it, but I remembered it as soon as I heard it. It made me feel good seeing him because I never really remembered him. He was a babe.”

She smiled, “Emotionally, what was it like for you emotionally?”

It was fine. He made me laugh and he let me know he loved me.”

Why wasn't your mom there?”

She was at Grandma's with her while she was being killed.”

Her eyes got big. “And you dad wasn't there?”

There's nothing they could do! He was there and he told me to get home NOW! I drove like a mad man, but it was too late.”

You said there's nothing they could do.”

Yeah, you hear about ghosts which come out of nowhere and save someone, but I don't think those are what our family members are. Our family's hands are tied and they're there to greet us for when we go over.”

That'd be hard on them.”

No, you don't understand it.”

Ok, what am I missing here?”

Look at our lives out in Heaven like us now. Ok?”


Now, look at us going down to Earth or wherever, like us going into a football game. We pick our teams, we pick our positions, and we pick our interactors.”


Ok, look at the interactors as being the people who attend the game. They're in our realm, but they're not anything or anyone who is vital to our experience while on the plane.

Now, look as the team mates and all of them on the field as your primary families, work mates, lovers, detractors, and attractors.”

I'm hearing you use the word actors in there a lot.”

Yeah, your mother, father, siblings, lover, children, and whomever who is significant in your life is an attractor. They add to your life an they're playing a significant role. Sometimes those significant people can be a detractors also.”

Ok, they take away from me.”

Yeah, but now I'm going to switch up the plane for you a bit to understand it more easily.”

Ok. By the way, that was a good analogy, I understood it pretty good.”

Imagine you're in a class room now and you're having show and tell.”


Now, the other people are teachers. You're learning things. You're learning about their lives, their likes, dislikes, joys, sorrows, pain, and when it's your turn, you're going to go up and switch from student who learns to a teacher to teaches everyone about your self.”


Now, in that room, there are people who added to your life, right?”


There would be people in the room who take away from you also. They teach you pain, suffering, anger, torment, and disillusionment. It's a part of your reason for being out there on the playing learn, and to teach.”

Is that why we're here?”

Yeah, it's a learning process. What's interesting is something you learn in this life might not make sense, but maybe it's for you to know in another life.”


Ok, let me lay it out to you like this. Ok?”


When we're done with this life, we go out and if we've not messed up too bad, we're closer to the Light. The Light in this case is our Godly spirits.”

So you're saying there's not just one God.”

No, there's many.

Look at this planetary system we're in as ours. The Sun is God. He's bright and glowing and full of energy. We're out here where we need to be because if we were closer, we'd burn up and if we were further away, we'd freeze. Right?”


Well, consider your orbit around him due to your collection of sins and deeds. IF you do good, you get closer to him. If you don't do so hot, you go to the next level back. IF you deny he exists, you don't go anywhere. You burn up when the end comes.”

Ok, but you're saying there's no hell.”

No, there's layers which is further from him, but there's also times for us to go in and either add to or detract from someone else's life or lives. It's ultimately our decisions as to what we become or don't become.”

Now, get back to the reincarnation thing.”

Ok, look at us on that field again.”

I'm there.”

When we go out on the field, we learn. We have interactions which help us in this life, but there might be things we learn or people we're around which make us like them enough to want to gravitate towards them not only in this life, but the next one.

What I'm saying is we learn things. Let's say I know law and learning it really good in this life. It's a natural thing for me because I do it quite well. Maybe I'm so talented with it and it's natural because I was a law professor in a previous life. It was my forte', but not something I liked so well I want to do it over and over...namely because there's nothing new for me to learn from it.”

So you're saying we go out onto the field and we learn things and we have hits and successes. The hits are people we were destined to run into like Rick...someone who left me disillusioned and scarred emotionally, but not sorry he died.”

Right, but it can be about loved ones also. My grandma, I loved her, but when she died, I didn't really grieve a whole lot. I learned from her and she set in place my foundation and morals, but when it was over, she went on and now I'm to count on myself and others. Those who do it gracefully, such as yourself, I really like and those who don't do it so well, like Grant, are like a rock in my shoe I hope will get out, but maybe he'll settle to where I don't have to stop and throw him out, but maybe I will.”

She smiled, “I like this lesson.”

Rob would tell you entirely different. He's a philosopher and he'd tell you there are trinities all over the place.”


Trinities. Wherever you've got something, you've got three.”

How exactly?”

Ok, here's a simple one. There's right, wrong, and _____? What?”

I didn't get that.”

In life, you've got right, wrong, and ?????”

The gray area?”

No, but you'd been more right than you knew if you'd said the gray matter. Let me explain it to you. In order to do right or wrong, you've got the third which is choice. You've got to decide to do something before you do it.”

Oh, ok, that makes sense.”

With Rob, you could have him walk into a room and he'd tear it apart into trinities all over the place. It's cool, but the night he was trying to explain it to me, I was tired and wanted to go to sleep. He helped to teach me the trinity thing and the ultimate concept of Heaven, so I'm thankful for him on that, but when he was trying to get my brain to thinking into Socrates and Plato stuff, I'd rather sleep.”

She laughed, “That's funny.”

For me to teach you things, it's easier for me to use things I know you can see and place yourself mentally. For him, he takes concepts out of thin air and has you really reaching to mentally play ball on his court. It's fun, but I'd rather use a style where people can see it and think themselves interacting a lot easier.”

And that's why I think you and I work together so good. You don't talk up here and you don't talk down to me. I understand and it gets learned.'

Well, here's the thing about Heaven. It's sort of like life down here.”

How so?”

Let's say we click on things. We're accepting of each other and we really like being around each other so we're together a lot and we're learning things. All in all, we learn a lot of the same lessons, but at the same time, we're still learning it on different levels.”

How so?”

It's both physical and environmental. First of all, the physical is our mental mindset. You're a girl and I'm a boy. You take things more emotionally than me, but I take things more in a boy manner. Yeah, I'm gay so we can share and experience some things likewise, but whereas you're looking at a hot guy's butt, you're wanting him to turn around and I might be wanting him to stand still so I can tag that ass.”

She laughed, “Ok, now what's the environmental?”

It's learned before we meet up. It might be parent, or whatever, but we've had different experiences. You might not like a guy's looks because someone else looked just like him and he was mean to you, or you might like someone who looks just like the preacher who killed my parents. It's our environments before which helps us to perceive things differently now.”

I understand that.”

Now, let me tell you about a decision I made today which is based upon that attractor thing.”


Lorne wanted me on Saturday Night Live. He asked me who I wanted on there as a musical guest. I don't know if he does that with everyone, but he asked me and I told him I wanted 'the Boys' on there. One reason is I really like them. Two, they're gay. Three is Chad and it's not in that order.”

Chad, from their group?”


Why him?”

I don't know why. What I know is I know he's an attraction. I know I'm an attraction to him too. You could put twenty thousand people in a room and call it a concert and out of all of them, his eyes are staring at mine and I'm staring at his.”

Oh man!”

Yeah, so out of all the other gay stars on the planet who sing and who I'd like to meet, why did his group's name immediately come to mind? I'll tell you I think it's because we were destined to meet and play a role in each other's lives and it's got to be more than the one time thing.”

Who else is gay that you'd like to meet?”

Elton John, George Michael from Wham, but certainly not some others.”

Why would you want to meet Elton John?”

It's not so I could sit there and be goo-goo gah-gah over him while he sings. It'd be so I could sit and talk with him. I'd like to ask him how he found gracefulness in presence so wherever he goes, he always looks settled in himself.”

That's interesting, now why George Michael from Wham?”

A different reason altogether. With him, I'd tell him he needs to find someone and settle down because he's going to cost himself his career if he doesn't. And, I'll tell him when he thinks about making a come back, people will forgive one transgression but not to go out and do it again on the eve of that come back.”

You're speaking about the future.”


What does he do?”

He goes into restrooms and seeks sex.”

What? He's famous, he doesn't need to do that!”

No, but he does it. Now, is it a thrill thing? Or, is it an act of loneliness which is overwhelming for him to have someone. OR, is it him needing someone and keeping them at arms distance so it doesn't affect him tomorrow what he does today.”

With all the diseases out there, he'd probably be affected tomorrow.”

Yeah, but I really don't know it, nor do I understand. There's something there which just tells me that's what he did to his career.”

Who told you?”

Madonna when she kissed me. I saw a lot of careers in her future and I saw a lot of the people she interacts with, has interacted with, and just plain won't allow around her.”


I liked reading her because it tells me better who to have around me and who not to.”

That's interesting.”

One advantage is I'm in sports. The other is I'm out in the open.”

That's an advantage?”

Yeah, here's why. Ok, first of all, a famous star trying to stay in the closet and not be seen as someone who's gay isn't going to be around me. The female stars will, but not the men.

It's good because one of the major stars which is out there now is about to go down in a huge blaze of controversy and when it's bad, he doesn't leave it alone. He makes it appear he went out and got his own play toys and then, it all erupts again only the next time, it doesn't go away with money.”


Yeah, so rather than telling you who it is, I'll say this. IF Michael Jackson ever rings our phone to link any of our stars to his, you politely tell him to drop the candy and to step away from the sand box.”

Her eyes shot open and her hand shot to her mouth. “What!”

You heard me. Now, this is how strong I feel about it. IF I'm invited to a program where he's performing, you politely tell them I'll need fifty seats for our team because that's how many it's going to take to pull my hands off his throat if he comes near me.”

He's gay!”

Hon, it's worse than that. He prefers boy children. Of his five known victims, not one was a girl. There are reports in court testimony he used alcohol and he has alarms built into his house so not even his guards can catch him in the act.”


Locks and double locks on bedroom doors. Alarms in the hallway leading to his bedroom which not only turn on a light above the door so he knows someone's coming, but it locks that door should it be unlocked. And yet, and I repeat and YET, if you or I were to know the police were coming to come serve a search warrant and take incriminating evidence, don't you think we'd do a massive move out of that evidence?”

He doesn't?”

He doesn't think he'll get caught. The first flashing red light is coming. He'll pay in the double digits of millions of dollars to get it stopped, but the National Enquirer and a lot of press discover it and he attempts to say he feels a trial would be more damaging and time consuming than paying that sort of money.

Excuse me, but if someone ever accuses me of such a crime, I'll be in court displaying they're not only attempting to fuck up my career, but I'll get that innocent verdict so I can counter sue them into oblivion. Does he do that? No.

What he does is he pays and then, he goes and pays money for surrogate children. Now, is it any coincidence his children he buys are boy children? You ask me because I'll tell you it's just strange.

Then, you think about that because he does some really stupid and strange going out and doing it again. Only, this time, he's doing it to a maid's kids who he thinks he can easily say is only after the money.

Well, I'll tell you one thing, if a man fucks kids and sleeps with them and pays money...And even if I think he's got a keg of screws loose and I allow my kids to be around him because there's no job anywhere else on this planet. IF that said man touches my kid, I'm going to assure you his last hit will be a bronze...not gold or platinum because it will be with a bullet and it'll be titled what another group sings, “You Give Love A Bad Name.”

She smiled, “Do they have a long career?”

Yeah, he ages reasonably but Billy Idol ages terrible. By the way, we're going to have a guy on our team in four years who looks like a dead ringer for John BonJovi.”


Yeah. His name is Gary Chronister.”

You already know who the team will be?”

I know because I read Grant. I've got a list of those names who are on there and I know where we'll be in the play offs and a large portion of what the games will be.”

Oh man, you'd be a statistician's dream!”

If I showed you the list, you'd bet the moon and the stars on it. You'd not only know that, but I could read you now and get the player lists for all the other teams. Well...until you retire.”

You can do that?”

Yeah, it's me indirectly profiting from reading you, so I don't like doing it.”

I find all this interesting.”

It is, but ultimately, it's up to you do decide your fate.”

You need to go get gas and go over to the Mansion. I think Jordan is going to be waiting up for you.”


I went over to Lamborghini Countach. I got in and pulled the door down. Starting it, I felt the rumble of the motor and it's growl. I looked at the gauges and then hit the reverse gear to get it out of the parking spot. Fortunately, the gas gauge was at three quarters, so I didn't need to get gas.

I drove over to the Mansion's parking and parked. I went in and was to the elevator before I realized there wasn't a door man on duty.

When I got up to the Penthouse, the elevator doors opened and I saw Jordan curled up on the pit group watching television.


Hi, How are you?”

I'm doing fine, I watched you on Letterman. It was way cool.”

What's on?”

Beverly Hills Cop.”

Oh, Eddie Murphy, he's funny.”

I've seen it.”

Me too, but leave it on, I like the music.”

Can we talk?”


He put it on mute and turned towards me. “I need to tell you something which isn't going to make you happy.”

Ok, tell me.”

I saw Rob and Kit kissing.”


I pulled out my phone and dialed Mike's house.

Hello?” a tired voice answered

Please put your dad on the phone.”

What's wrong?”

Nothing I expected from you. Now, I need to speak to my lawyer so I can tell him to get your name as far away from mine as possible.”

What's going on!”

You kissing Kit!”

He told you!”

Your dad please. I'll wait.”

You'll wait a long time.”

I'll call his cell fuck this, I'll be on the plane heading that direction to see this paperwork gets done myself.”

I hung up and dialed Mike's cell phone. “Hello?”

Mike, I'm on my way there. Robbie just answered the phone and refused to get you in order for me to tell you to get his name as far away from mine as possible.”

What's going on?”

He didn't break it off with Kit. Now, guess how fast I'll be on the phone with Chris to tell him what is going on.”

He what!”

I'm not going to repeat it. He's just the same as admitted it and now, I want his name off my stuff...if you've gotten it there. IF not, don't bother.”

I've not put it on the team. Everywhere else I've put it, I've put it in with words of minority owner in brackets.”

He received his pay for the game?”


Consider that payment for his percentage of the team. Now, get his name off the team and if he wants to dare fuck with me on it, I'll formally request a copy of that 9-1-1 call I made gets plays at his judiciary nomination. How fast do you think that will take him off the bench?”

Let me get up and go see what's going on.”

No, don't bother. If he lies, then he's got more issues than he's admitting.

All I'm asking is you handle this business and stay on as my attorney. Other than that, I thank you for what you've done and I'm thanking you to tell him if he dares to step foot in or on my property INCLUDING that jet to fly this direction to play, I'll have mafia remove him.

I hope you understand what that means.”

I'll call you back.”

Tell him I'm calling Chris now. My advice is not to send him to school tomorrow without protection...and sure don't expect any of my team to be that protection.”

I hung up and dialed Chris' phone.



I just saw you on the Letterman Show.”

I know. Now I'm the idiot and want to let you know.”

What's that mean?”

Robbie never broke it off with Kit. They were seen kissing today.”


Yeah, now guess who I just spoke with.”



She said she kissed him and they were saying Goodbye to each other.”

Well, it ended things with me.”

You'd break up with him over that?”

In a heart beat. They said goodbye when he broke it off with her last week. How many times do they need to say goodbye a week before you realize they say it an awful lot to each other?”

No one else was around.”

So, you go off what she says and I go off what I heard? You stay with her and you put up with the goodbyes. I'll tell you now I'm not going to put up with it this time.”

I think you're being unfair to him.”

Well, you've got an opinion. I only hope your friend doesn't end up over at Jared's house on Halloween because they'll all be found dead in the same manner Jared died.”

You know this?”

Jared said it before he merged with Robbie. Now, guess what I'd say is happening?”


Robbie is back and playing tricks. Guess how fast I want that out of my life?”

Oh man.”

Well, you're the friend of your enemy and your girl is kissing him goodbye. I wonder if they'll say goodbye tomorrow?”

Let me test him and see. If so, I'll beat his ass.”

Well, I'm getting off the phone because I've got two more calls to make before I start on calls at this end.”


I hung up and dialed John.


Hi, Jake here.”


How are you?”


I need to ask a favor.”

What's that?”

I need the 9-1-1 tapes copied from last Thursday and Friday.”


Insurance. Robbie Musselman was trying to commit suicide Friday morning. We got together and now his name is on some of my stuff. In order to protect myself, I need those tapes.”

Ok, I'll get them, but it's going to cost something.”

Whatever it takes, I'll pay. It sure can't be as much as half a football team.”

You put that into his name with you?!”

I don't know if it got done, or not. What I do know is some of the stuff got put into his name.”

Ok, I'll get it.”

I appreciate it. Now, I need to make another call.”

Ok, are you going to be in town tomorrow?”

Oh hell yeah. I'll be there in probably the worst mood I've been in for a while.”

Don't do anything stupid.”

I'm not...providing he stays off my team's practice. You might be there in case he doesn't follow instructions very well.”


I'm calling Grant and then I'm done with phone calls there. That's when I'll pick up the calls here and see to it he's removed from my business life here and altogether.”

I'll be there.”


I hung up and said, “One more call and then two calls here. Then, I'll be able to talk.”

He nodded as the number for Grant's cell was dialed.


It's me. I need to tell you a team roster removal.”

Ok, who?”



It seems he was telling Kit goodbye again today complete with lips intertwined. Now, care to take a guess what I think happened?”

He's back to being Robbie?”


Have you spoken to Mike?”

I called the house phone and Robbie answered. When I asked to speak to Mike, I got told no because I also told him why I was calling. So, I hung up and called Mike's cell number.”

How bad is it?”

Mike says the team isn't in his name. He says what is in his name is listed with him as minority owner in brackets to the side of his name.”

That could be legal in Ohio, but not here.”

Well, everyone got their pay including him. He's now being told that pay will be for his minority interest in whatever it is.”

You're acting quick on this.”

Grant, he might be your nephew, but I'm signing on to be lovers with the part which was Jared. If Jared's not a part of the picture, I'm definitely wanting out of that.”

IF you took that to court, you'd be laughed out of it.”

Yeah, but see how fast I have those 9-1-1 tapes which had him hanging himself. And you see how damaging it'd be when he tries to get on the Supreme court there. I think you know how long I'll wait and who I'll call as a witness to tell what he saw.”

Dont' do that.”

IF he plays me for a fool Grant, I'll lay in wait with those tapes until the day comes when they hurt him the worst. Now, for the short range plans...

I can't tell you what to do with the Spartans. You know that and I'm not even going to go there with that. However, with the Angels, I'm telling you he won't be on my practice field and he sure won't be on any plane and in any game. Are we clear on this?”

You're letting your emotions rule your judgement for the team.”

No, you're not getting this. IF I allow that lying and cheating piece of dirt on the field, then he perpetuates the myth we're still together. That's not happening and it won't happen with me being a part of things.”

I understand, but he could damage you.”

I could damage him far worse. Would you care to dare me not to take it to the public airwaves and announce why I broke up?”

Oh man.”

Yeah, you know and I know I walk a tightrope with endorsements and my public life now. Well he does too. The only difference is he tried carrying her piggyback while I was on the rope. I guess I just shook him off.”

Don't do anything rash.”

I've already called Chris. He's going to run a test on him to see if Jared's still there. If not, then Robbie's getting his ass beat. He'll need that work release time to heal because when Chris gets finished, I'm going to be there to take up where he left off.”

You're on your way?”

I've got my morning committed to Stein. My afternoon is committed to contracts while I'm flying that direction. When that plane lands, I'll have contracts signed and deals struck for me.”

Ok, remember those.”

Money doesn't mean a thing to me. I can only be sued for so much before it becomes a joke. However, you think about how pissed I am now and you think about what that pussy means to him and you'll figure out my target. It'll be real fucking hard for him to consummate a marriage without the equipment.”

Don't do it!”

Grant, he better pray there's some of Jared still left in there to pass Chris' test. If not, you think about my threat and you think about what he got told by Jared if he wanted to go to that house and have a séance on Halloween. You're worried about my ex-lover's dick when you should be worried about all those people's lives.”

Oh man!”

Yeah, run out and do clean up because you're going to be in Dallas along side me while I've got an alibi.”

Oh Jesus!”

Just to be safe, I'm going to have everyone right beside me who means anything to me from that town.

Then, while I'm at it, I'll do sports interviews like you wouldn't believe until I get word it's happened. Then, I'm going to be a real Oscar winning actor and put on the performance of the century.

I wonder if I let him sign contracts if we can put life insurance on him even though he's killed during a séance?”

You see it coming down the road, don't you?”

Like a freight train from hell. The problem is I didn't call this. Jared called it and he was pissed. He told me what would happen and I also know weak people who can't control themselves when it comes to peer pressure tend to go with the crowd...even if it's to their peril.”

I need to stop this!”

Try as you might, you know and I know it's beyond us. I told them what would happen. Now, do you think there's a reason Jared's pulled out and probably will keep his word?”

You need to stop it.”

Grant, I really need to get off the phone now. He's your nephew. You save him.

Personally, the guy's pissed on me enough. It's time for me to put an end to putting up with people who use me as their toilet. IF it wasn't you shitting on me, it's him pissing on me. I'm sorry, but I'm not a Pamper.”

You think I've shit on you?”

You kept your word when it was over. Now, figure out why it was over?”

Because you were impossible.”

Thank you. I'm getting off the phone now. Remember when I'm there to practice, I'll probably play hard ball with his nuts if he's on the field with me as a Spartan. I

F he's placed on the field with me as an Angel, I'll order my team to pack up and practice will be over. When that happens, your career with me will be over because I'm impossible. Now, good bye and understand I've got calls here to make to be assured he's not on this team here.”

You really need to see if there's an explanation for this.”

Sorry, but how many goodbye kisses did you get?”


When was that?”

When you said it was over for us.”

Yeah, now four days later, how many did you get?”


Hmmm, one of us must take it seriously. I guess Robbie breaks up differently than I do. Trust me when I tell you four days from now, I won't be lip locked with him. I'll be in Dallas securing an alibi.”

You're not going to play Friday night?!”

Not if he's on the field with me. I've got a football career without him.”

You really need to sit back and see this as an outsider.”

Ok, as someone who's so outside he's impartial, how do you see it? I mean, you're my ex and you think I'm impossible and you're his uncle so therefore he's a perfect angel. Or, is this conversation being made so you can keep me on the phone because you love hearing the sound of my impossible voice?”

You can be impossible.”

And you can be an asshole. There, I've said it and no, I'm not saying you're an impossible asshole, I'm saying you're probably on the top of my top ten list of assholes. Just think, I had to take President Bush off that perch in order to hang yours there.”


Love ya.”

I love you too.”

Good, now goodbye without a fucking kiss.”

I hung up and Jordan sat there smirking. I looked over and asked, “When you saw them kissing, did it look like they were saying goodbye? Were there tears being shed? Did they look like they were just sharing a smooch?”

They weren't saying goodbye unless they were practicing for an airport goodbye. They were at it for five minutes and the whole while, they were feeling each other up.”

Where were they?”

Up under the bleachers.”

Why were you there?”

I went to the bathroom. I always come out of the locker room early and to be polite, but that team takes forever in there getting dressed.”

You and I both agree on that. Heck, I scheduled appointments for when I was waiting out there!”

You would've seen him then. For me, I came out and waited. Then, I went over and was going to the bathroom when I heard a moan. I looked and saw him. I didn't know who it was, but at first I envied you because I thought to myself if he gave you that sort of action, then you were lucky. That's when I realized he was cheating on you and got upset.”

So you had to go to the bathroom and instead of going, you stood there and watched?”

No! I got upset and then went into the bathroom. After I was finished, I came out because I really hoped he was done so I could chew him out. Instead, they were still trying to scrape lunch out of each other's bowels because that's how far the tongue action was.”

Ok, well, needless to say, I'm not falling for the goodbye kiss lie. If you've paid attention, you'll see what's going....”

My sentence was interrupted by the phone ringing


It was Mike's voice. “Hi, I've got him on the line with me. Don't hang up!”

Well, I know a bit more, so let's hear his side of things.”

Robbie's voice came on. “For your information, I was telling Kit goodbye. I knew I was getting work release and would be going out there.”

How long do you give goodbye kisses? And before you lie, I'm going to ask you how much tongue action you throw into a quote goodbye kiss? And when you're giving the quote goodbye kiss, how much feeling up, groping, and moaning gets done with one? And lastly, if it was so chaste, then why were you two up under the bleachers when you were doing it?”

But!!! Uh!!! I!!!'

Got caught in a lie. Now, Mike, I'm going to ask Robbie a question to see exactly where he is. Ok?”


Robbie, what did Jared put so I could find it after you tried committing suicide in the garage?”


You heard the question. IF Jared is there, he'll tell me what it was. If he's not, then I know what's set into motion and I only hope you remember what he's promised you will happen should you be a part of a séance at his house.”

Nothing was put out for you to find?”

You're wrong there. Had you looked and had you had Jared in you, you'd told me an Evel Knievel doll was put in the bush so I'd find it. You didn't, so I know Jared's gone now.

Mike, you've got Robbie back. You know what I want done.”

Uh, he's going to blackmail you.”

Oh dear, how much am I ever going to pay!”

Robbie's voice came on, “You'll pay the half a billion you won from the bet. It should have you worried because it certainly will keep you from getting approved.”

Oh, well forever more, I guess I'll have to curl up in a little ball and play dead!”

I dropped the falsetto and said to Mike, “Mike, when the endorsement contracts are signed tomorrow, I'm going to insist upon life insurance put on dick head.

He'll sign the son of a bitch and then, he's not going to practice with our team. He's going to stay there and he's going to play the part of my lover until November first. After November first, we're going to see what we've got. IF he doesn't like that, then I'll use that tape to publicly embarrass him and I'll use the airwaves to let the world know what a lying and cheating piece of trash you've got. IF you can not or will not get your son's name off my properties, then you really need to gear yourself up for one helluva lawsuit.”

His name is coming off of them. I wasn't aware all of that had went on. I was under the impression it was a chaste goodbye kiss.”

It was a goodbye kiss up under the bleachers. It garnered the attention of someone and he watched. He saw Robbie and he felt envious of me until he realized Robbie was cheating on me. He was pissed, but he went on into the bathroom. He went and gave it some time because he wanted to confront him afterward.

Instead, he came out and got to see it was still happening and they were intent on licking each other's lunches from their lower intestines with the amount of tongue action, moaning, and groping was occurring.”

For your information, you kiss like a fish!” Robbies voice sneered.

Thank you, that was the third piece of evidence I needed to verify you're Robbie.

Mike, I'll repeat what I said to you about not sending him to school tomorrow. The other injured party is planning on running a test to see if it's Robbie and when he determines it's him, that's when the beating will begin.”

IF you're talking about Chris, Kit thinks he's a total piece of filth. She's back with me now and that's all there is to it.”

Mike's voice said, “Robbie, if you don't think I was wanting him to push your buttons to verify it was you, you'd be thinking wrong. Now, guess what just happened to you legally?

Legally, you are not allowed to take part of any contracts, any negotiations, and to accept any monies without parental permission.

If you noticed, your permission form wasn't signed. It's still laying down there on the table. It won't be signed and all the involvements contractually, legally, and implied are now hereby revoked. Try getting anything done with that blackmail and I'll side with him and have you placed in an institution for finding you hanging as well as not acting normally.

Jake, I'm sorry. I'll have everything cleaned up.”

Mike, get him off the phone and call me back.”


I got off the phone and pumped my fist into the air, “Yeah!”

What's going on?”

It's complex, but he thought he was going to fuck with me on something.”


Yeah, but what this is requiring now is two more calls.”


Dominoes are falling. For me to be a part of it, I've got to cover my ass. Excuse me while I do that.”

Ok, it's interesting to hear what's happening.”

I dialed the Jobs' home number. “Hello?”

Hey, I need to ask you a real fast question.”


Can I invest in your company real fast?”

Like how fast? And how much?”

A quarter of a billion dollars.”

What the...!”

I'll explain it if you say it's ok to do.”

Ok, but when?”

I'm about to call the guy and get the money moved.”

Ok, but why?”

Can we speak off the record?”


Last Saturday, you know I bought the team, right?”


Well, I bet on the game and won half a billion dollars.”

Holy Cow! How much did you bet?”

A million. They had five hundred to one odds on the bet I made.”

That's unreal!”

Well, we won and we won exactly as I said we would. The problem is now someone knows who is wanting to blackmail me.

IF he does it, I certainly can not have the money I won heading this direction. I need to have it as far away as I can until November first.”

So the money you invest is for short term?”

Yeah, use it until then and get the interest off it like it's yours. Just cover that money for me and if you hear a bunch of stuff in the news about me and my ex boyfriend, then you know what's went on.”

Oh man!”

Yeah, it's a mess. I think it'll clean up, but I really can't have that money heading this direction.”

Ok, I'll do it.”


I hung up and dialed Dan's number.


Hi Dan.”


Listen, I've got a problem and I need your help.”

Ok, with who?”

It's about our bet we made.”

Oh jeez.”

Yeah, we won. That's the good news.”

I know, I got my money already.”

Mine is sitting in a bank in the middle of Beverly Hills in somebody else's name.”

He started laughing, “Damn, you're a Gatlin Brother's fan.”

I swear it just hit me. Just the same, I have it in an account out there. Now, I got rid of half of it, but I need the other half in a short term investment until after November first.”

So you want me to ditch a quarter of a billion?”



How long does it take to put life insurance on someone if they're about to die of a supernatural death?”



What's up with him?”

Well, we're split up. Jared did have his body, but now Robbie's soul is back blackmailing me over the bet.”

You're wanting to kill him!”

No, it's just I know he's messing with supernatural shit and he's been warned. Rather than heeding caution, he's rushing head long into it like a bull in the china shop.”

Have you spoken to Mike?”

Yeah, and he now realizes it's Robbie instead of Jared who is inside him. He's now acting to protect my interests when he had doubts about it.”

Ok, so what's going to happen?”

Here's what I know.

When Jared died, and Robbie came over to my house on Friday, Robbie had already tried to kill himself. Jared came and he was mad. I mean real pissed because he found out Robbie was going to have a séance at his house. He told me and I told Robbie. Robbie thought I was joking, so Jared made himself appear and told him he would die the same exact way as he did if one was held at his house. He then showed himself as he looked when he died and Robbie pissed himself and passed out.”

I bet!”

Well, I left and went to Owsley's to buy it. Later, Robbie came in and he seemed different. He had Jared's gleem in his eye and used Jared's phrasing. Then, he kissed me and I instantly knew it was Jared in Robbie.”


Well, we went forward and I bought the team. Fast forward again and he went home and went to school today.

He SAYS he was having a goodbye moment with Kit, but I'm going to ask you. What sort of goodbye kiss happens up under the bleachers and lasts long enough someone can find you, get pissed off, go to the bathroom, and then come back out and see you still moaning, throwing hands all over the other person, and sliding mind you this is a chaste goodbye kiss?”

If that was a goodbye kiss, what's the hello like!”

I don't know. I got kissed by him as Robbie and it wasn't that good. Now, as Jared, that's another thing. The two are totally different.”

Ok, so Robbie is out of it?”

Yeah, but they're still going to do that séance. When they do it, they're going to end up killed and their bodies are all going to be laid out spelling JARED.”

Oh man.”

He told Robbie to put a stop to it and nothing's gotten done. Now Jared's checked back out of Robbie and Robbie's now admitting he never broke it off with Kit.”


Yeah, so tomorrow, Chris is going to be there beating Robbie down and what I've got to do is get everyone I know there down to Dallas so we've all got alibis when it happens. I definitely don't want anyone wrapped up in that amount of death.”

Who's all going to be a part of it?”

I don't know, but if Robbie and Kit are, I'd say it's going to be a bunch of the rich kids.”

That could be disastrous for this town!”

Oh dear me! What would the town do without a bunch of rich judgmental assholes!” I said in the Aunt Bea falsetto voice again.

You might not care, but a lot of them aren't aware what they're messing with.”

Ok, I'll give a half assed warning on Jay Leno Wednesday night. I'll point at the camera and tell the world no seances at Jared's house.”

You need to behave!”

I'll do it. That way I can be asked by the police what I knew and when I knew it and I'll tell them the truth. They can point at Jared and all the rich kids and see that you don't fuck with things you shouldn't.”

You don't feel anything about this?”

I did at first, but now I see it as the tail light of a train heading down a foggy track I know has a washed out bridge. I told the engineer and I showed him what it'd be like, but he chose to submit himself to peer pressure, so he's got to be the one responsible.”

Mike's going to be ruined!”

Mike's going to be in Dallas.”

His wife and daughter won't go!”

Well, I know they won't go if Robbie doesn't go. Robbie's not going because he's not a member of my team any longer. And yes, that does mean get his name off the merchandising.”

Ok, that's a loss there.”

No, hang onto it. We'll sell them for commemorative souvenirs when he's dead.”

You're a heartless bastard too!”

Well, you expect me to take a loss, but you don't expect me to not want to put life insurance on him? That's why we're talking here.”

I don't think you can do it on such short notice. I think you'd have a damned hard time getting anyone to do it. IF you did, it'd make you look guiltier than hell.”

No, I'll tell them the truth and that's I feel bad about him partaking in a séance. Just the same, I need to ditch that quarter of a billion dollars.”

Pay off your planes, and buy what you need for the team. Get it ditched.”

I can't! It can't go towards the team. IF I do, then they're going to find the money and it's going to verify I actually did bet on the team.”

How much does he know?”

He knows everything. He knows who I bet it with and how much it was.”

Damn. I'll call Jimmy and tell him what we've got heading at him.”

No, not yet. I want the money gone, but I want it ditched until after November first. After November first, the need for them to have that séance is going to be over. You know and I know they'll do it and we now know what will happen.”

Then just keep it with him until then!”

What if the accusation gets made?”

Let me explain something. Let's say you do have a way you could verify the bet was placed. You don't. Then, you have proof you won, which you do, but not out in Vegas you don't. Now, Jimmy's got money in his account because he's not paid you. I'll tell you now, there aren't any slips of paper with your name on them. There aren't any ways anyone can find out anything except in Jimmy's head and yours. Yeah, you've got a cell phone bill which might have the number being called, but I'll tell you now that number isn't good any longer. It rotates and probably some little old lady in Las Vegas now has that number in her name and it's not even ringing into her house.”

Ok, well good, now, how do I get ahold of him when I need to get the money.”

You contact me and I call him.”

Ok, I need to move half of it over to Steve Job.”


Because I told Steve I'd do it and he's already said he'd do it for me.”

Jeez kid, that's a chunk of change and he's gotta be a helluva friend.”

He's rich. To him, what's another quarter billion!”

He's not that rich. I imagine he's rich in stock and rich on paper, but if you asked him what he was really worth, you'd find out he's like us.”

Oh, well, he's worth another quarter of a billion because he's going to invest it short term in his company and keep the interest on it.”


Because I panicked and because he's a friend and offered to do it for me. Now, I can't go back on it when I told him I'd call him back.”

Do you realize you just move around that sum of money like it's nothing?”

Well, it's a bit tougher to realize because I don't have it in front of me, but just the same, I imagine it's nothing to them out there in Vegas.”

That sum of betting was the single most bet on game in the history of sports betting. Your win and his was the single largest won bet in the history of sports betting. He's being harassed about it because everyone wants to know who the lucky S.O.B. was. He's not speaking and they know he thinks they're complete and total dumb asses for even wondering if he'd give you up.”


You need to learn how they work out there.”

I guess I do, but I don't want to bet anymore.”

You're not. I got my ass chewed twice over you betting with me.”


Hey, I thought it was fine. They're the ones who worried.”

Well, I appreciate it. Now, how are we going to make good on that other bet Danoza made?”

We're working on that. I've spoken to a lot of people and they've all said Danoza said he had you on the ropes and bragged about making the bet. They all know he lost and he lost his ass.”

So how do we get it with him being killed?”

They're probably going to have you put that money from Vegas into that savings and loan and then hand you ownership of it.”

So I'm buying what I won?”

You're laundering the money to make it yours.”

Ok, so how fast can I get this done?”

Let me call and get it done.”

So you're just going to get it done like you were waiting on my approval?”

I knew they were going to make the offer to you. I also know if I take it to them, I'm helping them and they're going to let you be without bothering you about it.”

What's that mean?”

It means Danoza had a lot of people pissed off about selling that team to you and then he had them pissed because he lost everything else to you. You end up with everything they were trying to get and then he gets killed.”

He got killed by the head guy in Akron. I do know that. The guys from the team who did it were working on that guy's behalf. BUT, for your information and you tell everyone this... that guy has a guy working under him who is a fed. He's already gotten that head guy on some stuff and is now trying to get everyone else brought in so he can get a bigger collar.”

Really? Which guy?”

The guy wears a brown herringbone blazer when he's recording. The only other thing I can say distinguishing about him is he's got one long eyebrow which has owl horns on each end.”

Let me off here. I need to make some calls.”

Ok, I'll call Steve and tell him I don't need to move the money with him. If you need to pin that bet on anyone, you pin it on Danoza.”

You're brilliant!”

When's his body going to be found?”

Sunday during the game. He's going to make some history up there.”


He's made a video about how suicidal he is because he sold it all to you. It's being done up, but I'll tell you now it was hard because there's not much video which wasn't in that media room at the stadium.”

Ok, so he made a video.”

He made a video and he's saying he's blaming it all on Rick selling him out. He's going to blow them both to hell and you're covered.”


It's wonderful. In one full swoop, you get the family off you and you get everything. Now, you're owning a savings and loan and you're picking up a good number of assets.”

Ok, I need to make some calls also. Since I own a savings and loan and it's solvent with some assets, I need to get into banking in a big way.”


Just understand a little bird has told me about the banking industry being deregulated later in the nineties. Banking takes off, but they do to it what they did to the savings and loans and by 2008, you have a major topple of banks which nearly puts us into the stock market crash of '29.”

You know all this?!”

Yeah, I also know which ones are solvent and I know who ends up buying who. Now, whose bank do you think I'm going to totally invest those assets?”

You've got a savings and loan.”

Yeah, but deregulation allows me to call it a trust if I perform banking.”

How so?”

Angel Federal Savings and Loan can change itself and own shares of AFB which is a bank. A bank can own Angel Federal Savings and Loan. It's a shell game.”

It sounds confusing as hell.”

It is, but one thing and one thing only brought them down. They all went into home loans which were really shady.”

Home loans? They require down payments out the ass on them!”

With deregulation, they can get you a loan on a six hundred thousand dollar house with no down payment providing you put the value of that house up as collateral.”

So how does it collapse?”

The two hundred thousand dollar house you are in today in some areas of the country are suddenly worth six hundred thousand then. A motel in Boca Raton can be bought for a hundred thousand and then condoed out for that much per condo then.”

So it's all built on inflated values of everything and no one is afraid it won't implode?”

Right, but huge names in banking are going to be selling themselves off like a fifty year old hooker on a gay cruise. She's popular, but she definitely hitched the wrong ride, so she's only worth pennies on the dollar.”

You're telling me a huge major named bank could sell for nothing?”

Yeah, it's so bad they're gobbling each other up and taking the hits on their shareholders. The government steps in because they see it all toppling.”

If there's collateral worth half or a third of what they've got lent out, why does it topple?”

This is where it gets tricky. With deregulation, they have something which is amounts to a sports bet on loans. You can take out a bet on the loans and bet whether the bank will make money on them or not.”

That's illegal as hell!”

Yeah, it's got something to do with the teapot dome scandal, but they revived it and it nearly cost us our country. In fact, entire countries like the Netherlands and Iceland are so far in debt through all this, they are basicly owned by the Asian banks.”

Ok, so why Asian banks?”

Interest rates are that friggin' low. If I can lend money out over here for eight percent and I can borrow it for one percent from them, and I'm borrowing billions, how am I making money?”

Oh jeez, six percent annually on a billion is sixty million dollars!”

Yeah, now multiply that and you've got a guy who's doing it and making billions a year from them.”


Loans. Our loans and prices jump. Today's twenty seven thousand dollar Cadillac is nearly sixty five thousand then. Rather than having a four year loan, they've got seventy two month loans on cars. It's the same with credit cards and everything else. They ship you a three thousand dollar card and get you so far in debt, they only hope you pay the minimum.”

It's about that way now.”

No, think about it. Right now, they check to see how many cards you've got out. If you're in debt a percentage of your pay, then you're not getting another one. With the deregulation, they ship you a card with low percentage of interest and hope you use it to pay off other cards.

You do and it sets in place a domino set which has you getting another card in six months which is from another of their companies which pays off the first. You do this and you do this and eventually, you've got excellent credit and you go in and get a house which you can roll all the loans into the loan and you've got them paid off. Now, you've got collateral they can take when a payment doesn't get made.”


Yeah, so suddenly, you're in a world of shit and you've got a loan over your head and you're bankrupt.”

Then they go bankrupt.”

They changed the bankruptcy laws when it got them worried about how many people were seeking refuge. Now you're going bankrupt, but you're more like a chapter 13 instead of a 7. You've got to negotiate and have a pay off schedule.”

Oh man.”

Yeah, so what happens is this. These are for credit card companies. Let's say you make thirty grand a year and you've got fifty grand worth of credit card debt. However, under bankruptcy, you're on a schedule to pay twenty one percent of your pay per year to the court to pay off the cards. They're getting six grand and they smile and pat you on the back because you're playing along.”

Sounds crooked as hell.”

Yeah, but that's what you do because you're having collateral and you want your house. What you were dumb about is you kept your assets in your name and you didn't ditch them before you went to court.

If you knew better, you'd have ditched the assets nine months before, made your payments on the house and everything like you should've and let the cards slide, or kept rolling them into other cards. You protect the assets which protect you and when you go bankrupt, you've got that house paid off and out of your name by that wallet full of cards which now is unsecured.”

Oh jeez, it topples because of unsecured credit!”

It topples because of tons of things. It's Republicans in the White House for eight years and it's them setting up the fall the last two years the Clintons are in there.”

So this is all going to start taking place?”

Let me say something and you understand what I'm saying. Ok?”


This budget we've got is a burden. Clinton gets a handle on it and what you have is them propping him up and the system up so when their guy gets in, they can hit that system like one of those socko dummies.”

You say the Republicans, why didn't Clinton stop it?”

The Republicans get control. He's the President, but you've got them quietly maneuvering so we've got a rerun of the eighties all over again, only this time it's the banking system and the stock market which gets robbed.”

Who does the rescue?”

You, me, and all the other tax payers. They ram through this rescue plan so fast it'll make the ram through of the gulf wars seem like childs play.”


Yeah, this one and the next.”

I don't want to hear any more. This is pissing me off.”

I don't blame you there, but he who is in the know makes dough. He who is led to slaughter is the lamb. My goal is to set myself up so I make dough and seem brilliant when it's all said and done.”


Ok, lets talk for a moment. Where is the dollar now?”

It depends. The yen was stronger and then we're stronger. Today, I think the yen was stronger.”

Where's the euro?”


It's a shell game. Invest in the euro because while you're worried about yens and dollars, the euro gets stronger right before things hit the crapper and savvy bankers over there buy the shit out of our companies.”

Oh jeez.”

Yeah, so General Motors starts off 2008 at eighty five dollars and by October, it's a less than six dollars. Guess how many billion I could buy it for?”

Oh man!”

But, it's bobbing there like a hemorrhaging cow losing seventy five million a day. Chrysler is there begging GM to buy them out because they're torpedoed. Ford doesn't want a part of it because they've got money flowing from them like an armored car in a tornado with all the doors open.”

So the Japanese are strong?”

No, even Toyota, their strongest is posting losses like a chicken with it's head cut off.”


Because banking shut off the easy money. They've got people making big money and they've got retired people making big money and reaping benefits and everyone's not buying cars. I'll tell you now, it's going to start with companies toppling and when they topple, it's going to go south and where it stops, it'll be war...civil war and anarchy will rule the day.”


Ok, look at it this way. Let's say you're Joe Schmo. You've got a house with x amount for a payment. You've got a car with x amount of payment. You've got kids, dog, food, bills, and you've got everyone thinking they're all entitled to the next six hundred dollar toy and the next three thousand dollar television and they're all used to getting what they want without a friggin' dollar in the bank.

Now, think about that and shut off the job. Take it away and how in the hell are you going to make it?”

Oh fuck.”

Yeah, not a thing is paid off and when the banker comes a knockin', you gotta start walkin' with the kids and dog and get the fuck out. Forget the car because it got repoed. Forget the furniture and all the nice things because no one could afford to buy them if you tried to sell them because no one's got money.

Now, how are you feeding kids and dog on zilch coming in? And where would you get welfare mailed to if you went to get it and where would you put the food if you went to get food stamps?”

You're painting a shitty picture.”

Pay off your house. Pay off your car. Pay off everything in it and you ride fine. Keep your debts down and you make that pantry of yours full because food is shooting through the roof and what you gotta count on is knowing how to stock up and heat with wood. You've gotta learn how to eat at home instead of out. You gotta learn the store you shop at today probably won't be open tomorrow. You gotta learn it and you gotta realize your company there probably won't weather the storm.”

Oh man!”

Yeah, so ride the profit train and post the profits for a few years. I'll buy things and you'll have a damned good few years. You can sell it at a profit and you can get out from under it.”

Then what?”

Import/Export. You import the shirts and things I'll sell, but you be ready to ditch and dive in 2007 when I probably sell out totally.”

Where are you going to?”

I'm going to my plantation in Brasil. I'm going to go down there and I'm going to be in style with my fatted cows and I'm going to have self sufficiency down to the point you just won't believe it...but, you're going to think I'm brilliant because I'll own me a bank up here which buys up a bunch of others and suddenly, I'm terribly brilliant once again.”

Kiddo, can I invest?”

Yeah, but make me a promise.”

What's that?”

First, I want to ask you a question.”


What did Deej find out today with the doctor?”

He wasn't checked. Your team doctor didn't fly with the team.”

Ok, do this. Tomorrow, I'm flying the jet over. Keep him home and get him on it. I'm about to find out why that doctor wasn't on that plane. It better be because he was dead or dying because I'm paying an arm and a leg to the man.”

I'll have him on it. What's going on?”

He's got a twisted testicle. It's not real painful, but it's swelling and could cost him a nut. I read him and found it. He needs treated. It's not a terribly painful treatment, but it could be worse if allowed untreated.”

What are they going to do?”

Deej has to lay back. The doctor manipulates his nuts and he gets them back to where they're right. It's a bit uncomfortable, but after a sit in the whirlpool, he's as good as new.”

You're treating this like a priority.”

First of all, it could be a priority if it's left untreated. Second of all, I'm more pissed because I know Grant got told and either Grant didn't put the request in to the doctor, or the doctor didn't take one of my players as a priority and even worse, he allowed a team practice to occur when I'm paying him very well to be our team physician exclusively.”

How much are you paying him?”

Because he's specialized in joint and bone, he' getting as much as one of our players. We're paying his malpractice and all of his money is going to him, so he's pocketing around six million after taxes.”

Son of a bitch!”

Yeah, so now you see why I'm pissed. I've got to get off here and go put out another fire.”

Ok, keep me informed.”

I'll do that.”

I hung up and shook my head, Jordan laughed, “Jordan, don't ever buy a team and hope it gets easier. I'll tell you now either I'm doing something wrong, or it's a real headache.”

You need more help.”

Yeah, but there comes a limit of where people are paid to work and don't.”

I dialed Jan. “Hello?”

Hi hon, I've got a question.”


Who in the hell is our team doctor and why exactly isn't he with our team when they're practicing?”


Yeah, I've got a rag and it's heading at him.”

He had a death in the family.”

Is it verified?”

Yeah, his daughter. She's been sick for a while.”

How long is he going to be out?”

I don't know. It happened early this morning.”

Ok, tell him to take a few weeks off and come back when he needs. Now, where is she going to be buried and when so I can go pay my respects?”

I'll get you when and where.”

Ok, tomorrow, I'm bringing all my clothes over here. I don't have a suit here and I sure need one from the way it sounds.”

I'll get you hooked up with a tailor.”

That'd be good since my suit probably won't fit right with me growing like I am. Tell whomever it is I'll need a complete outfit which looks like a real class act.”

I'll tell him.”

I'll forgive this time, but we need someone who is with our guys when they practice.”

Grant was told. He said he'd get things covered.”

DJ Carter has a twisted testicle. It wasn't covered today. It should've been.”

Ok, I'll get someone. Where is he going to be?”

Tomorrow, he's flying this direction because I told his dad I'd have a doctor strung up by his if DJ's weren't treated. Now, I've got to get that covered.”

I'll get him to his appointment and get one made.”

Tomorrow is a light day for you. I'll be out of the office.”

She laughed, “Ok, Doll has her hand out for the phone.”


Hi babe!”

Hi, how are you?”

Wonderful, it's going real well.”

Good. I want something from you while I'm thinking of it.”

What's that?”



Contact suppliers and tell them I want meat. Tell them I fully expect them to get me a chicken breast patty which will fit a hotdog bun. Also, tell them I also want that McRib thing so we can get it on buns. I want them to be cheap and I want us to have them so they cook in pans in the oven and can get popped into the buns real fast.”

That's a real decent idea. What about pretzels?”

Which kind?”

The big soft chewy kind.”

If you can get them so they're affordable and people will like them. But, what I want you to do is go with two kinds. Get one which is plain and then get one which is a honey wheat flavored. They make the bread in that flavor, so they can do a pretzel in that flavor.”

I'll do it.”

Nacho sauce will go good with them, but sell that sauce for the little cup full separate.”

Ok, I've got a lot of ideas. I'll tell you now we're not going to keep those big steam kettles. I can do the same in a large oven.”

Stop the presses on that and see about what a large microwave will cost. They make them down in Florida if Stein doesn't have one. You can cook a whole box of them with the staples out in ten minutes. You can put four boxes of them in for twenty, so that's going to be faster than what you would in an oven, right?”

Yes and no. You're not thinking of the volume we need. I can put a box into a four gallon pan and get eight of them into an oven. I can put them on three hundred degrees the night before and cook them. Then, they can go onto warm and be held. With that microwave, it's not going to hold and warm.”

Oh. Well, do us a favor and get us deep fried corn on the cobettes. They sell them and they're wonderful.”

I'm trying to get out of fried foods.”

What about corn dogs?”

They can be bought already done and put into an oven.”

Ok, well, I guess I'll eat healthy.”

I'll get you some things to eat for when you're at home.”

Ok, do it because I'll tell you now I'm basicly a vegetarian except for when I crave meat.”

What do you do then?”

Honestly? I hop in the car and go to Golden Corral or a buffet. That way, I can go straight to the meat and get my fill.”

What do you eat at home?”

Here's what I'll tell you. IF you can get me fried vegetables and mushrooms, then I'll be fine as long as I've got Heinz ketchup and Heinz mustard and Open Pit barbeque sauce. If you can get me a little pump thingy to put those in, I'd really feel great.”

What about pizza?”

Oh yeah, but I'll tell you what they had the other night isn't what I like. I like cracker thin crust and lots and lots of cheese with big hunks of vegetables all over it. Yeah, I like meat on there, but it's only good if I see a blizzard of white cheese with big veggies poking through...oh man, I made myself hungry.”

Order a pizza delivered. You might try Godfather's.”

They had that the other night. I call it Greazza because you could pick it up and wring the thing out and get a cup of grease. That might be good, but to me, it's zit food. I eat it and you can tell what I'll be for the next week.”

Ok, so you want goat cheese pizza with a lot of veggies.”

Who makes goat cheese pizzas?”

I do.”

Are you talking about custom making this stuff and sending it over?”

The pizza I was.”

Ok, I'll take one of those.”

Not tonight!”

Oh, ok, I guess we've got to order in.”

Go check your ice box. There ought to be a good sized container of sweet and sour chicken and rice in there.”

Oh man, I gotta get off here.”

She laughed, “Ok hon, I'll see you later.”


No problem.”

I hung up and looked over at Jordan, “Are you ready to eat?”


Did you check the refrigerator?”


Sweet and sour chicken and rice in there.”

Oh man!”

Yeah, Dolly is trying to spoil us.”

Did you really break up with Rob?”


What are you going to do?”


He laughed, “No, I mean about a boyfriend?”

I gotta jack. I promised the General Motors guy I wouldn't get into a relationship unless I had his approval. Personally, if I were looking at me, I'd call myself a slut for the way the past week has been.”


Yeah, I'm with Grant, but I flirt with Jared. Then, I dump Grant and get together with Rob. Rob can't cut it so now I look back and I see me flirting with Chad too, so that's four couldas in a week when I really didn't have sex with anyone but one.”

Who was that?”

I don't kiss and tell.”

With the way Rob was, if it was him, you were lucky.”

It wasn't.”


The microwave beeped. “Here's yours.”

He took it and I started mine. When it was done, I stood at the counter and ate. Jordan was in on the pit group. I made a mental note to get a set of stools to have at the counter. I thought about calling Jan, but then I thought about getting an answering machine so I could call her office and leave messages.

In the morning, remind me to tell Jan to get an answering machine.”


I finished eating and went up to bed. In no time at all, I was asleep.


Notes From Retta:

This story wouldn't be possible without a good person by the name of Wes. Fortunately, he downloaded it while it was still able to be gotten on the Google Groups site.

For those of you who know, my Google Groups site is shit. Please don't get that confused with “the shit”, but just plain shit.

It seems I can upload a chapter to the site and it will promptly lose the thing. When you go to click on it, you will get an error message which states the page you've navigated to is no longer available. Needless to say, I'm not please because their customer service sucks.

I'd lost the first twenty five chapters of the story, so without Wes having them, I'd be fucked. Thankfully, he had them, so he gets a great BIG HUGE Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

From My Keyboard To Your Heart,


Copyright Notice - Copyright © 2009 by RettaMichaels

The author, RettaMichaels copyrights this story and retains all rights. This work may not be edited, changed, or duplicated in any form, media [ known or unknown ], without the author's expressed permission. All applicable copyright laws apply. RettaMichaels does NOT give editorial consent in order for this to be published. If it is deemed unpublishable in it's context, permission much be granted before publication or changes occur.

Trademark Notice – 2009 by RettaMichaels

From My Keyboard To Your Heart”,”'Retta”,“RettaMichaels”.“Retta”,“Rhett”, and “Rhette” are all Trademark of RettaVonnMichaels L.L.C. None of these trademarks may be used, or authorized without consent.

Disclaimer: All individuals depicted are fictional, and any resemblance to real persons, locations, or incidents is purely coincidental.