Date: Fri, 19 Oct 2007 11:34:13 -0700 (PDT)
From: firehose Joe <firehosejoe@yahoo.com>
Subject: To Thine Own Self Be True: Chapter 11

"This above all: To thine own self be true, for it must follow as dost the
night the day, that canst not be false to any man." Shakespeare (Hamlet)

Each relationship, unique unto itself, must find its way and become what it
will. We all make the journey. Enjoy this story of Steve and Alejandro
(sounds like a-lah-handro -- Spanish). Though the theme of wrestling will
be a key component in the early chapters and a continuing theme, the story
is about relationships and being true to oneself. Thanks to Bill M and
TalonRider for assistance proofing the story.

Please do not distribute to other sites without permission of the
author. Comments can be sent to firehosejoe@yahoo.com

From the previous chapter:

 "I would be a foolish old woman to have you believe that we have not had
hope for children, to see the family perpetuated. That has been the way of
things since time immemorial. However, that does not mean that it is the
only way to honor commitments, build a life of value and to contribute to
society. You must be true to yourself. To do less compromises the
foundations upon which you are beginning to establish yourself.

"Look at me Alejandro Algara." she said as she held his ruddy cheeks in
both of her hands. "I love you. I believe in you. I'm proud of you. Never
forget this as long as you live." They held their gaze looking deep into
the other's eyes.

After a long moment he said, "I'm ready to go home now, Grandmamma."


Chapter 11


Alejandro's Granddad never appeared to change in his demeanor or
interaction with him. He wondered if Isabella had said anything. It didn't
matter. He'd decided to finish the year and then see how he felt about
sharing his feelings with the other men in his family. It was a delaying
tactic he knew but easily justified and he kept his counsel.

Wrestling club activities had ended with the first semester and Alejandro
missed both the camaraderie and the exercise. Frederick and he maintained
the evening workout schedule and he resumed his work with Joe. The gears of
second semester slipped easily into place.

After a dreary, rainy weekend at home, Alejandro set his alarm early and on
Monday drove to the gym. Business was brisk that time of day. A pleasant
surprise for Alejandro but as he thought about it he laughed at his own
naivety thinking how his own schedule had been so defined by the activities
in the fall.

Lockers were at a premium he saw, as he circled round the stacks in search
of one.  He reached for the handle of one with no lock only to feel another
hand touch his. He looked up and was met with a startled face. "You having
trouble finding one too, right?" the pleasant face asked.

"Yes and with my, um, our luck it will be filled." Alejandro
answered. Pulling up the locking latch they saw an empty space. Alejandro
turned to the smiling face saying, "Tell you what; I don't mind sharing if
you don't. It will just be my sweats and hoodie so there will be plenty of
room. Only problem will be if you have something that needs to be locked
up."

"Nope it's the same for me. By the way, name's Charles. Charles Greenwood."

"I'm Alejandro Algara. Glad to meet you. This is my first early morning
workout. I'm wondering if there will be any space for me." he added.

"Yup, it's usually this crowed this time of day. Usually it's the only time
of day that a lot of these guys have for a work out. There's a great
attitude though. You know, people willing to cut short a workout so others
can have a turn. Don't worry, you'll work up a sweat," and he laughed
adding "if only from the perspiration and testosterone in the air."

They began to strip and change. Alejandro was able to unobtrusively observe
his locker partner. Charles was trim but well built. Moderately furry in
the usual places, he appeared to be, in general, a regular type guy in all
respects. Charles question brought him back to the moment at hand. "What
kind of workout do you enjoy Alejandro? Did I say that right?"

"Yes you did. Normally I do a circuit with weights alternating days for
upper then lower body. If there's time I hit some of the machines. How
about you?"

"My main goal is a good cardio workout," replied Charles who quickly added,
"but I'll take what I can get on really crowded days. My luxury is that I
don't have to be in an office or class at 8 a.m. like some of these guys so
if necessary, I can take my time. Got to admit the workouts are a bit
disconnected, or would be if I were in a training program. I'm here most
mornings during the week. It works for me and I enjoy it, being here and
working up a sweat." he said holding Alejandro's eye for just a moment
longer than necessary.

They were both dressed. Grabbing their towels they headed for the
weight/exercise area. Alejandro stretched, worked half a dozen machines,
did some presses and decided to finish on the treadmill. It was a good
workout. As he left he caught Charles' eye and waved his goodbye.

Things had somewhat cleared out, but the locker room was still busy.
Alejandro thoroughly enjoyed the occasional jostling as people moved to and
from the showers in various states of undress. He caught more than a few
looks at his generous endowment. Some faces met him with a smile. Others
looked quickly away. All in all it was an experience he'd enjoy again he
decided as he drove back to the dorm.

He often saw Charles and they usually had a moment or two to chat while
waiting for someone to finish with a piece of equipment. Charles, he found,
was a beginning graduate student, studying market economics. Alejandro's
exposure to various aspects of family business with the Board of Trade
enabled him to chat easily. Charles was comfortable to be around and talk
to. When he asked Alejandro to join him for dinner one evening, Alejandro
gladly accepted and suggested the following Sunday.

When they next saw each other in the gym they confirmed their plans, agreed
on a place and went their separate ways. Though Alejandro had numerous
acquaintances he had developed few friends with whom he was really
comfortable. He hoped Charles might become one.

Dinner was at a nearby family owned Italian trottoria. The warmth and
smells of the place were a comfort opposed to the damp cold air blowing off
the lake. They took their time with dinner and dessert. The conversation
was as easy as it was engaging. Alejandro said so as they were preparing to
leave and Charles invited him to his apartment.

It was a short drive with surprisingly easy parking. Once inside they shed
their coats and scarves. Without asking, Charles poured wine for both of
them and gestured for Alejandro to sit on the sofa. Kicking off his shoes,
Charles invited Alejandro to be comfortable. They continued talking and
laughing and a clock chimed 11 p.m. Alejandro said he needed to go soon but
it was chiming midnight before he thought about it again.

Thanking Charles for his hospitality and struggling into his coat,
Alejandro joked about the pain that the morning workout promised. He
offered Charles his hand in thanks. Charles took Alejandro's hand in both
of his and made Alejandro promise to agree to come again soon. As he was
driving back to the dorm, he recalled the subtle gestures he'd noticed over
the past few weeks. He still wasn't at all sure of himself, but wondered if
Charles was expressing interest in something in addition to friendship.
Alejandro felt himself blush as he smiled at the thought.

He aroused himself early the next morning and was at the gym when the doors
were unlocked. Quickly securing two lockers side by side he waited for
Charles to appear. A few moments later he'd all but given up hope when he
saw the familiar face. He nodded his greeting indicating the free locker
and was met with a big smile.

"I was sure I'd be putting my clothes in the corner on the floor arriving
this late. How did you snag two?" Charles asked.

"Just luck." Alejandro replied as he thought to himself `and planning'.

Working out after a late night with too much wine was as rugged as both had
anticipated. During the session they kept catching the other's eye and
grimacing at the strain then smiling a bit of encouragement to the other as
they moved to their next workout station. Alejandro finished and headed to
the locker room. As he finished stripping, Charles arrived throwing his
towel down and sitting with a final gasp of recovery from his treadmill
session.

Together they headed to the shower talking about the dinner the evening
before and the enjoyable conversation. Charles was only a bit shy about
giving Alejandro's body a `once over' before he smiled and commented on
Alejandro's great condition.

"I keep telling myself that I don't need to work on muscle growth until I
see guys like you, bud. It's natural, not bulky. Gotta confess I'm just
using those muscle bound gym rats as an excuse. You think you could set me
up with a workout plan?" Charles asked.

"Glad to," replied Alejandro, "but you need to stay with it. Can you find a
time when things are not so busy and you won't feel rushed. It's as much
concentration as perspiration when you start."

"Yeah, I can. It'll be sporadic. That's always been my other excuse. If
there's a set time like early morning, I'll make myself get going. During
the day the potential for interruption is always present. There I go again
setting myself up for excuses and not following through." Charles
groaned. "It's always the same. Woe is me. Woe is me." he declaimed
dramatically. They both laughed.

As he set his clock that night, Alejandro decided that it would be entirely
too obvious to repeat the morning's locker saving antic. They settled
quickly into the pattern of the previous days and as they parted on Friday,
they planned to meet at Charles' apartment and agree on where to eat.

Charles suggested a Mexican place he enjoyed. As they drove, Alejandro
thought briefly about saying something about his heritage, but decided
against it. Dinner was delicious. As they enjoyed a dark coffee and some
sopapias Alejandro noticed that Charles was avoiding his eyes and had
somehow withdrawn.

"Charles, what's up? You're quiet all of a sudden." he asked.

"Just trying to figure out how to say something." Charles said softly.

Joking Alejandro said, "Well if it's in Spanish, don't count on help from
me even with this name."

Charles looked up and with a pained face began. "I owe you this much, owe
myself really." Alejandro's face reflected his confusion. "I hope you're
not too pissed at me for not saying something sooner. If you are, I can't
blame you. But, you see, um, well, I'm gay and knew if I didn't let you
know sooner rather than later it would be more difficult for me."

Charles continued but nothing he said registered with Alejandro. He just
smiled and reached a hand across to Charles and when he had his attention
said simply, "me too." The relief was obvious, replaced by a smile. Charles
asked "then you're not upset with me?"

"Heck no! I was beginning to wonder but, have to confess I'm so new at this
I couldn't for the life of me figure a way to find out without embarrassing
myself. Thanks for going first." Alejandro grinned.

Charles rushed on, "I'm not saying we're, damn. I'm gonna embarrass myself
now. I just think you're a cool guy. Your head's on straight. You've got a
good mind and I like spending time with you. That's all I'm really trying
to say."

With a conspiratorial tone, Alejandro decided to bait him a bit. "You're
not going to take me back to your apartment and ravage me now?" he asked,
first with a mock expression of disappointment that gave way immediately to
a smile

Charles laughed in relief and said, "We'll need to talk about that if we
want to go there. Right now, I'm just happy you haven't punched me out and
left the restaurant." Having finished dinner and dessert Charles asked,
"Ready to go?"

Conversation and wine mellowed both men and Alejandro didn't want to
leave. When he heard the clock chime 11 p.m. he roused himself and thanked
Charles. Turning at the door, as he was about to leave, Charles asked, "Is
a hug good-bye Ok with you."

In answer Alejandro wrapped his arms around Charles and was surprised to
feel a slight kiss on his cheek. "Not too gay for you, I hope." Charles
said with a smile. Alejandro stepped back and looked into Charles' eyes and
pulled him in for a real kiss.  "Not too gay at all. See you tomorrow." he
said with a smile and left.

Their Sunday `date night' was a comfortable pattern for both of
them. Alejandro wondered how comfortable he'd be sharing sex with
Charles. He innately knew he was not interested, or perhaps even able, to
casually share his body. He smiled and wished there was some kind of
instruction booklet he could refer to. Time would tell and he was
comfortable waiting.

Several weeks later Charles suggested that they share cooking
responsibilities at the apartment instead of going out. The idea appealed
to Alejandro but he warned Charles that he had less than no experience in
the kitchen. Charles laughed and told him he was a patient teacher.

It was a relaxing and, to Alejandro, a surprisingly enjoyable
experience. They prepared light tapas hors d'oueuvres and relaxed on
Charles' deck. Its western exposure made it warm enough to enjoy in late
afternoon. With a simple dinner behind them, they found their spots on the
sofa.

In the silence that followed it seemed to Alejandro that Charles wanted to
ask a question but was undecided. Alejandro sipped his wine and waited.

"When I first heard your name, your last name, it tugged at a memory of
mine. I dismissed it at first but began to wonder about it this week and
went looking at one of my econ books. Are you perhaps related to Juarez
Algara?" he asked.

Alejandro looked up a bit surprised, but said with an even tone "Yes, he
was my great grandfather. Why do you ask?"

Charles' face became somewhat animated as he began to recount the history
that had been included in this text. Warming to his tale of discovery, he
elaborated on how Algara was seen as an icon of the turn of the century. A
Mexican of some means, a cattle driver, a meat broker, he parlayed his
resources and financial influence to become one of the Barons in Chicago
business, particularly the Board of Trade. "He's seen as a bridge from the
19th to the 20th centuries."

Alejandro paused and thought before speaking. "That's a story I've heard on
more than a few occasions." he said noncommittally.

Not noticing Alejandro's reserve, Charles continued. "He worked with his
father-in-law first but then went on to build his own fortune, not only
with the Board of Trade but in real estate holdings throughout the
city. The man was a genius!

"What I found really fascinating was the fact that he and, I guess, your
great grandmother divested themselves from the markets gradually in the
late 20's. When everyone else was in financial free-fall after the market
crash they were secure and were able to increase their substantial
holdings. Damn decent guy too. Seemed that, well according to what I was
able to find, he didn't scavenge from the unfortunate but helped many
families escape bankruptcy. Again it was a stellar example cited about
diversification in various economic situations, and to think I'm looking at
the great grandson of one of the financial giants of the city." Charles
finished with a grin.

Charles' grin slowly faded when he saw his enthusiasm wasn't in the least
shared by Alejandro. "What's wrong bud? All I did was reread a bit of
introduction from a history of economics text. It's out there. I would
imagine anyone working with the Board of Trade knows some or the entire
story. It's legend!" Alejandro sat passively, watching.

"What else did you find out about me, Charles?" he asked with a mixture of
anger and sadness in his voice. Looking up he saw Charles slightly flush
and look away.

"Gee, guess I blew this." Charles said and paused. "I was excited about the
possible coincidence. And yeah I did go to the library to find out what was
there, and there's a lot. Shit man, I didn't mean to be prying, really!"

"So why don't you tell me all you found out. It will be interesting to hear
it coming from someone I hardly know." Alejandro's voice was tinged with
sarcasm and anger. Charles' apologetic sense of embarrassment evaporated
quickly.

With a bit of anger in his own voice he replied, "Look, you don't need to
get that way. No, we don't know each other well but I presumed as a new
friend, or is that a presumption on my part too, now?" He continued, "Think
what you will. It's public knowledge available to anyone who is willing to
spend just a little time looking." Almost to himself he added, "I don't
know why I'm embarrassed, I've haven't done anything wrong."

Charles glowered at Alejandro, more confused than angry. They sat quietly
for a moment until Alejandro broke the silence. Though out loud, he said to
himself, "Time to grow up Alejandro." Pausing he looked at Charles. "This
all just caught me off guard. Can I apologize for my attitude?" Charles
answered the question with a genuine smile and a nod.

Alejandro continued, "This year, since September at least, is the first
time in my life I've truly felt independent. From Monday till Friday, I'm
the guy with the funny first name. Most folks don't even bother thinking
about my surname. Alex or Al to some, Alejandro to those who make the
effort, I've reveled in my distance from all that has tried to shape and
define me since birth.

"Don't get me wrong. I'm not talking about my family, though they are a
subtle part of it and always will be. That I don't mind. Shoot, I depend on
it. It's all the others: people I know from prep school, people at church,
people I see socially nearly every weekend. I'm expected to be or at least
act a part that fits with their image of me. Here I found I was able to
escape all of that, or so I thought.

"I'm not blaming you, Charles. That would be patently stupid on my part. In
the back of my mind I guess I secretly hoped I could escape for a few years
before becoming, Alejandro Algara, son of Salvador Algara and heir apparent
to the history and baggage wealth brings.

"Listen to me," Alejandro said reflectively, "I should be back-handed for
sounding like `poor me'." Alejandro paused and looked at Charles before
continuing, "I've been raised better than that I assure you. But it is nice
to have a friend who is willing to listen and hopefully not judge too
harshly."

"You know I'll never be able to empathize with you, it's just too much of a
stretch for me or, for that matter, for anyone I know." Charles
responded. "To be honest it does sound like you're whining a little; but,
from what I've read and what you said I'm beginning to get the picture."

"What all did you unearth about me?" Alejandro said, again with a tone of
impatience and anger. Stopping himself abruptly he again said, "This is
evidently a short fuse for me and, well, I've just got to work through
it. Sorry."

With an attempt at humor Charles smiled and said, "Hey, I've got no designs
on the family fortune. Now, I may have some designs on you and but we can
talk about that later, when you're in a better mood." Alejandro relaxed and
laughed.

"Thanks, I think!" he replied and laughed again, looking at Charles, seeing
in his eyes more than a glimmer of interest. `Later, we'll have to see
about that'. "Now tell me what you found."

"Remember, you asked." With that, Charles rehearsed, with not a little
detail, all the news clippings, headlines and magazine articles he'd read
that had been written about the Algara family over the past 30 years or
more. "Listening to me it sounds like I was a writing a book or
something. Alejandro, it's all there and easy to find. I can even tell you
about the Winter Cotillion back in December.

"It's interesting that a couple of decades ago there was much more printed
about your family and others in the same social or business
circles. Business news still makes the print but society columns are not
what they were back then. If it's any comfort, your father," Charles
stopped and asked for clarification, "His given name is Salvador also isn't
it?" When Alejandro nodded Charles continued. "It's more difficult to find
information about his business dealings than the foundation and charitable
work he and I guess your grandparents do. That's the easy stuff to find in
the last 15 -- 20 years.

"For better or worse, other than the occasional seasonal society piece
you're nearly invisible as far as the newspapers go."

Alejandro sat for a moment. "Sorry for all the drama earlier. It's really
interesting to me to hear you, whom I've only known a couple of months,
give me a précis of my family history and involvement in the life of
Chicago for the past 50 years. It's laughable that I, even for a moment,
thought I could be a private person. Now doesn't that sound fucking
pretentious?! I'm sorry Charles. Maybe I should just go and see if I can
get my head put back on. I'm making a real mess of this." Alejandro spread
his legs, rested his elbows on his knees and hung his head.

Charles waited a moment then got up and walked around the back of the
sofa. Reaching out he gently grasped Alejandro's shoulders and told him to
lean back. Working the knotted muscles at the base of his neck Charles
said, "Your head is perfectly fine and I'm not letting you go anywhere
right now. Relax. Doctor's orders." Alejandro laughed a little and let his
head fall back on the couch.

Continuing to work the muscles on top of Alejandro's shoulders, Charles
said, "As I said, I can't relate to your situation and have no advice
that's worth anything; but, my intuition tells me that you have all the
parts and pieces to do and be what you choose to do and be. Neither you nor
I can escape who we are. That's a given. We do have some choice about how
we'll play the cards we've been dealt, if you'll forgive a tired analogy."

"That feels so good, Charles. So good." Alejandro just relaxed and let the
tension of the past moments dissolve. His eyes remained closed as he
continued, "Forgive me but I need to process this thing while it's
fresh. Is that Ok with you?"

"Sure bud." Charles said quietly as he continued to knead the muscled
shoulders.

"I know, without asking, that there are Boards, Committees, Foundations,
both public and private that will expect me to step up when my father
passes responsibility to me. Of course that's years from now but in the
ensuing years I'll be groomed, taught and continue to be shaped by others
in the process. It gives weight to that old French term `noblesse oblige'."
Alejandro unconsciously sighed.

Charles kept up his ministrations and considered his friend and what he had
said. It was real for him, a burden. To put on the rose colored glasses and
wish for wealth, real wealth, he decided was not such a wise thing. Instead
he said, "You feeling any better? Want a glass of wine?"

Alejandro paused then looked up at Charles, reached for his hands and held
them. "No thanks to the wine. If you could keep doing the massage thing,
now that'd be great." Holding Charles gaze he waited.

Finally Charles replied quietly, "Here, or in my bedroom?"

Alejandro released Charles' hands and stood. "Lead the way." He said
smiling.


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